Hmmm....
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
IN LOVE WITH A BABY MAMA
I am in love with a Baby mama to another man and we plan on getting married soon.
I have seen her people and she has seen just my mum and my siblings, because my dad is not in Nigeria..
The issue is that she still communicates with the baby father because of the baby.
The guy calls her to ask about the baby and she is always happy after talking to him. I have noticed it many things.
He is the man that disvirgined her…
She told me that she has moved on and she will give the baby to her mum after marriage, So that the guy will be calling her mum.
But I don’t like the idea. I want the child to grow up with her mother and a man as a father ….I love the child and I don’t want the child to grow up and feel I separated her from her mother, and I want her to have closeness with her sibling that we will give birth to..
At the same time, I want my woman to cut ties with her EX
How should i go about it?
Wahala!!!!!
There would have been no chronicle if not that you are so suspicious and jelous of every move...Please go about it by freeing her from your suspicious mind..The baby daddy is even caring and nothing is wrong if he is trying to woo her back....
Sit her down and have a talk with her...
“She is always happy after talking to him” that’s it right there....she’s still in love with her baby daddy and if the guy makes a move, she will give in.
ReplyDeleteThink am well!!
Sluttychic.
He disvirgined her, they have a baby together. Hmmmnn, I worry on your behalf, it will be a miracle for her to truly get over him.
DeleteLeave the babee. And find your wife.. she is not the one for you
DeleteNot necessarily, people can be in good terms with their exes especially if they share a child.
DeletePoster, you are the one that know your woman. Do you honestly think she is still in love with her ex?
Unfortunately the reality of marrying a single parent is that they will communicate with the other parent. You should be even happy that both of them are at peace. Just make sure your woman is one who knows how to draw boundaries.
I'm sorry to say but I think she is a bit selfish in wanting to send her daughter away just because of a man and marriage. If you do marry her, please don't send that child away, she did not beg to come into this world and she deserves to grow with her mother
I want to know y people think women are tied to whoever deflowered them? Pls y'all shld enlighten me cos I don't believe that generalisation one bit.
DeleteWhy on earth will any right thinking man with a functional brain want to marry a baby mama, like why? Marrying someone without baggages is tiring. You will now wake up and want to put baggage in yourself. Are you all right? OGBENI GO AND LOOK FOR ANOTHER LADY TO MARRY. Use your brain. What is wrong with men this days. Are you also a baby daddy?
DeleteRubbish. I am still very good friends with my ex. Infact, everybody believes we are still running shows even though he's married with 3 kids. I can never even have anything sexual to do with him. Things didn't work out because it didn't and not because any of us is bad. Abeg go ahead and marry her and discuss your concerns with her.
Delete@Jay-sparks...I just wonder, won't even respond to his greetings if I see him by mistake.
DeleteYou gonna be the back-up if you ain't careful.
ReplyDeletePeople can be friendly with their exes. It is good for the child. Question is, do you trust her?
ReplyDeleteThank you!!!
DeleteTrust who? Don’t ever trust anyone.
DeleteThis. It's actually important they remain on friendly terms for the good of the child. But I love that poster wants the child to grow up with them, I agree with him on that. You just have to agree with her on boundaries and all. Won't be easy but very possible..
DeleteHaaa nothing wrong o
DeleteIf u see the way I dey vibe with my ex, we even talked at length today with lots of joke but I have no feelings for him again nor him has for me!
Person wey dey run around say make him run around make him give me house rent by next week
Life no hard o but na unloyal people spoil am
@nk laundry, just dey play😂😂😂😂
DeleteLet her do as she wish otherwise you might have problem later since this is your mindset after all you can't prevent them from talking and some baba daddy are so stupid that they will want to show who is the boss.I commend you for your choice ,not everybody want to start their life with a baggage,let the child stay with her grand mother
ReplyDeleteHave a heart to heart talk with her, let her know your fears and see if she will adjust. Wahala always be like bicycle
ReplyDeleteIf he still makes her happy, bro... bro.... let him marry her. Use your tongue and count your teeth... you can't just waltz in and take the mother of his child and expect her to turn enemies with him. He's gonna be your lives forever. And anyday you misbehave, guess whose gonna comfort her... 😏 and he can call morning, afternoon, n night, just to make her 😃 😊 😀 😄 😁 😆.
ReplyDeleteThis life, this life.....
ReplyDeleteYour suspicions are valid and you're going to live it,for the rest of your life. It's either you liberate yourself from such thoughts or you continue to torture yourself. It's your choice.
ReplyDeleteYour concerns are very valid.
ReplyDeleteThis is why people are weary of getting involved with baby mamas and baby daddies. It’s always complicated. I don’t strength still all.
As a woman why will you even have unprotected sex with a man that isn’t married to you? N postpill nko? Major red flag 🚩. Just shows she lacks proper decision making skills as an adult. And don’t ask about the male counterpart, when pregnancy happens outside marriage like this most time it’s the woman that suffers the most so she should be very proactive in protecting herself.
I just Dey pity that déji boy. The stress lamba go still give him for that marriage he will understand why his fellow men are not envying him at all. Let every thing settle first. Chances he go still knack Queen Dey very high. The girl no too get morals like most baby mamas with exception of rape victims.
All of una go choke on top this Queen's marriage. Small minded, bitter men everywhere.
DeleteDo you know Queen personally to know that she doesn't have morals? I have not really heard of her in a bad light. If she has no morals then Lamba is worse.
DeleteI do agree that Deji and queen will have it a bit tough because Lamba seems toxic from his actions on social media. For example, I doubt that Queen can relocate with their daughter or even travel outside the country with her because you need both parents permission for that.
Anyways, Goodluck to all involved,
Can I tell you the truth? That ex is still knacking her. You can argue all you want. First love is hard to let go let alone a man who broke your virginity.
ReplyDeleteBro, if I were you, I will take a walk. I won't go on with the marriage. He will be knacking her steady unknown to you. Remove emotion and sympathy here. This is nothing but the truth. She being happy after calls with him tells you all there is to know.
She still loves him and marriage can't stop them knacking. It's up to you bro.
© TEEJAY
You men are just horrible. If she's hostile, you and your cohorts will term her as the usual bitter BM. So two people can't co-parent in peace without insinuating that they are having sexual relations? You say women should never use a child against its father,yet you still come here to talk this nonsense. You guys don't deserve peace and you won't get it.
Delete@Ak047 hope you’ll say the same thing if reverse was the case. Imagine if it was a woman that sent this chronicle saying her fiancé is always happy after talking to his babymama, over 100 comments will appear telling her to dump him, let him go and marry his babymama etc…
DeleteFan Emmanuel
Lol..
DeleteThem no go tell am to write "some men" oh.. so far as na men, it's ok to generalize.. but them won come tell me how to comment when na them I learn am from..
If I talk "some women" make I bend😂.. I go generalize like mad Lol..
Madam, are you the woman or is she related to you? You are the one that will never have peace.
DeleteDon't bring that your gutter behaviour to my comments next time.
© TEEJAY
Tjay is right
DeleteImagine.
Rubbish everywhere..
I ask the men..women don finish for the world for you to settle with a baby mama ?
The importance you men attach to a woman's virginity is laughable. The honest truth is that there is nothing special about breaking virginity. Nothing at all, except for people who want to attach a religious aspect tọ it. Your brain neither produces more dopamine or oxytocin just because your virginity is broken, on the contrary it is more painful than sweet.
DeleteI'll be damned if I pick my 'first love' or 'breaker of my virginity' over my husband. Infact, my 'second love' is more memorable to me than my first and we have much better sex too.
I said what I said @Ak047. No it's you ladies that are horrible and will not have peace. Majority of the women shared the same opinion as mine but trust you to attack a man and turn blind sight to the women.
DeleteFor me, I have no problem dating a baby mama or marrying one but not this type still f**king her baby daddy. I repeat, if na me, I will throw that woman away to her baby daddy.
©TEEJAY
This thing of never forgetting your first love abi first fuck should die abeg 😂😂 it doesn’t work like that. I’m not even in contact with the first guy I slept with who was my boyfriend at the time. We’re not enemies or anything but we’ve moved on with life. We’re not tied to each other. It’s only in this part of the world that I’ve heard this nonsense. There’s nothing wrong with marrying someone with a child. Everybody deserves a second chance despite their mistakes. She’s nice to the father of her child does not translate to them sleeping together. They can’t be enemies especially if they plan to co-parent peacefully.
DeleteHave a conversation with her and lay out your fears. If you know it’s something you can handle then go ahead but if you can’t make sure you’ve thought it through and not just because of what Tjay and some uninformed people are saying.
Good luck with whatever decision you choose to take
Men assume women behave and think like them exactly. It shows below average IQ
DeleteMen assume women behave and think like them exactly. It shows below average IQ
DeletePoster she feels happy after communicating with her baby daddy? Hmmm.. Your fears are valid oo, you still want to marry her? Issorai
ReplyDeleteFan Emmanuel
To each his own. But hell no! You won't catch me dead with a baby mama. Life is complicated enough to add that level of entanglement to it. There is no right nor wrong in choosing to marry a baby mama but it should be avoided as much as possible. I value my peace of mind and I can't ever imagine myself in that kind of situation. That was a major deal breaker for me when I was single. That's just me.
ReplyDeleteBut if you think you can cope with all the attendant drama that comes with it, marry her. Just have it at the back of your mind that you might end up sharing her with the baby daddy later and there's love in sharing right?
But the baby daddy can marry right?
DeleteI don't know what you are looking for, Poster. Is she supposed to be at loggerheads with her BD, just because? She already told you she is ready to leave the child with her mum, to soothe your insecurities but here you are still forming Inspector Bediako. If you can't and won't trust her, please leave her alone with her child.
ReplyDeleteAnd I don't understand the correlation with her BD being her first and the issue at hand. Who gave you men the stupid impression that our first are always unforgettable? As I dey like this, if I catch my first anywhere, na 4 by 4 plank I go use knack am for head. Onye iberibe🤬
My dear, that impression is f**ked up. My first is the last person I wanna see. Poster, I understand your concern, but would it be better if she hates her baby daddy, and he doesn't communicate with bis kid?? Just be sure it's just friendship.
DeleteTalk is cheap
DeleteNa social media una dey behave like king Kong.
Ladies are too vulnerable but they have mind.you go fall yakata if you see am.
Lmao! I just said this in a comment above. I don't know who gave men the unintelligent impression that a woman's first is always unforgettable. And they will be touting the nonsense as if it is Law and science. They like to overestimate their importance in a woman's life without actually putting in the work to be unforgettable in a woman's life.
DeleteAs much as I loved my first and as handsome as he is, even though we are in good terms, I can't see him and start to get w*t. That ship has sailed and crashed.
Hear this oh ye men: THE ONLY MAN THAT IS UNFORGETTABLE TO A WOMAN IS ONE WHO TREATS HER RIGHT! All this virginity talk na nonsense.
Anyways, I kinda blame Christianity and other religions for this unnecessary premium placed on a woman's virginity without doing the same for men.
Many men are shallow, don’t think and assume/fly to conclusions
DeleteMany men are shallow, don’t think and assume/fly to conclusions
DeletePlace a hold on marriplans until you know exactly where you stand. Does she truly want you in all ways or does she want you present so not as to deal with any stigma or shame of being a baby mama? You need to know this before you proceed.
ReplyDeleteI do not like this talk of giving the child to her mum. Why would a married woman with a home think to give her child to her mother to raise. Sounds like something she is saying to ease your mind to get the marriage pushed through. If this is correct then you are there to serve a practical purpose.
Please put marriage plans on hold until you know exactly where you stand in her life. If she is not in love with you do not proceed. Pray for guidance and vision of truth
I agree with this too, poster wait another year to see if some more revelations unfold.
DeleteThere's a possibility she still loves her bd but just clinging to you because you are available while her bd is not, being an alternative is not a position you want to be in.
Wait it out, time has a way of revealing a lot.
Poster their is nothing wrong in that . Am friendly with my ex husband , we both have moved on and even remarried. But I do call him to wish him happy birthday and even once in a while give him shout out too ( we had kids between us ) He is such a beautiful soul but it was not meant to be . I refuse to be enemy with him bcos of our kids . Am even thinking that may be one day I may pay a visit to him in the east with one of our son .
ReplyDeleteYou are not being entirely honest, your current husband and his wife should be wary of you.
DeleteFan Emmanuel
You feel this way because there's a void in you your current husband didn't fill. Goodluck for that trip. Una go still knack
DeleteThat's the problem, why part ways when you know there's a possibility of b3ing in talking terms..it just shows you both took a wrong step and lacked the patienec and tolerance then as couple.. .talk is cheap it is easier said than done.
DeleteBaboni please ignore these ignorant people. You are doing the right thing for your children, just know where to draw boundaries...like for that visit, you should only visit when his wife is around out of respect for her.
DeleteI am a child of divorced parents and I can't imagine how my life would be if my parents were not on talking terms. They took decisions that affected me together. If I misbehaved with my mother, she would report to my father and vice versa. They planned certain parts of my marriage ceremony together.
Do you people even think of the poor children involved when you suggest that exes should be enemies. You Nigerians are so selfish, damn!
I just tire for some kind of mentalities. Exes need to be cordial if they are co-parenting abi is it to be fighting each time anything that concerns the child/children come up? Poster, being on good terms with her baby daddy is a good sign, you can sit her down and tell her you want the child to live with you guys also tell her in clear terms that if she messing around is a deal breaker for you.
DeleteLet her go if you don't trust her enough to marry her, what's all this about first love?
ReplyDeleteMy baby daddy is my first love and the one that deflowered me, and I hate him with passion, I can't even imagine that he had touched me before, we're not even on talking terms because he wanted to use the opportunity to gain access back to my life, I've blocked him everywhere.
I'm the type of person that doesn't go back to her exes, if we're no longer together, that's the end.
All this baby daddy and baby mama still f**k each other isn't applicable to me, not everybody go back to their vomits.
Talk is cheap.
DeleteThis is so me, I block him everywhere. But i allow his kids to go out with him once in 6 months.
DeleteIt appears you are second best and you either accept this or ………
ReplyDeletePoster I see in security in you, I see a jealous man who is very insecure with his women. If the table was to be turned will you still be asking if they are still dating 🤔
ReplyDeleteI don't believe both of them are still sleeping with each other, they should co-parent in peace and not in fighting. Please sit her down and discuss all your fears, allow her to speak her mind and talk to her yo reduce everything she has been doing.
Is possible she doesn't know what she is doing is affecting you, let her speak up for herself before you make your final decision.
Poster, marry her if you love her. Sit with her and let her know how you feel about her baby daddy. You wont want the child to be left with her mother but you need to trust her hence the discussion then watch her reaction.
ReplyDeletePoster. Dead you4 emotions and walk away from her pls.
ReplyDeleteIts hard but kill that emotions and dont marry her.it is as sinple as that.you will thank yourself later in thr future..poster cant you see you jusy an option.
There are billions of ladies out there..give other girls a try.
That babe don't rate you and she is not excited about it but she has no options..man up and walk away.cancel th4 marriage.it won't work..this your gut feelings is a pr3cussor to how miserable you be in th4 future if you end up with this baby mama as man and wife.you will hate yourself and no one would take your sides..see the way the ladies are already supporting her.That ex is fucking thay girl.use your head.how can men be this foolish...jeeeeez.
I dey vex onto this chronicle.una too like wahala.
She’ll reduce calls
ReplyDeleteJust remove eye for now
We are not ready for the baby mama and daddy talk,we go emotional when talking about it and support one side mostly the side that favour us.but please ladies let protect our bodies.wahala of giving birth outside wedlock is tomuch
ReplyDeleteGod bless you.imagin3 poster marrying to a person with this thought already..they are his gut feelings telling him he is about to make a wrong decision.the best is to keep yourself but no..they want to be woke yo have sex to the point of having a baby for a man that is irresponsible
DeleteJust like Stella wrote, Sit her down and have that conversation.it takes a mature mind to handle situations like this.
ReplyDeleteYour relationship MUST be built with the word of God.it helps in times of afflictions and tend to strengthen the union.there mustn't be secrets and everyone must learn to forgive.
The ex might still want to be in the child's life, pls do not stop him instead there must be boundaries and he must respect such boundaries laid.
Your woman should realize she now has a partner so some things she does with the ex while single shouldn't continue now she is with a partner.
She's trying to co-parent in peace. Please you have to deal with that part of her. Even if it was the man who disvirgined her, it doesn't mean she would still have feelings for him.
ReplyDeleteThe main key in a relationship is to love and to be loved.
ReplyDeleteYou love her but she is still communicating with her baby daddy according to you, and she is always happy each time he calls her and she claimed that she has moved on, but emotion and the feeling is still there.
You want her to cut ties with her ex , it would have been possible had it been the man abandoned her with the child, but since the two are still in good term because of the child, unless the man has moved on with another woman you never can tell.
Instead of her to take the child to her mum when you get married, take the child along since you love him.
But before then let her discuss with her baby daddy about the child , to avoid issue in your marriage.
Any woman that is willing to give her own child to another to raise because she wants to bear Mrs is dangerous and desperate: that should be your actual concern.
ReplyDeletePoster I know you didn't disclose all that you ought to, for reasons best known to you.
ReplyDeleteHowever people will only advise you based on your narrative, meanwhile the info you refused to release could hide the main gist, so in your mind add the info you 'minused' and use the lens to view all the pespectives.
You know bread and butter often go together so if you remove the bread know and note that butter, eggs, jam or beans would be missing in the comments so add smartly and sieve to get the best and most appropriate group of counsel.
423
Poster
ReplyDeleteTake time out and ask HOLY SPIRIT TO GUIDE YOU prayerfully and with fasting
Baby mama comes with its own challenges just be sure she loves you more than her baby daddy before you marry her let it not be a marriage of convenience
ReplyDeletePoster I think the excitement you notice is her being grateful that the man cares about his child and is willing to be a responsible father irrespective of them being ex.
ReplyDeleteWhat do I even know....
It may also be that she still likes him.
But whatever the case why don't you relax and enjoy your relationship/marriage? If you have mind to date a baby mama then relax. Until you don't catch her cheating with the ex you can't prove nothing and you shouldn't accuse her wrongly.
Please oga relax. Would you rather they were always at eachother's neck fighting and arguing like that lamba?
Read well the comments of women who do not support.
ReplyDeleteRead yesterday's chronicle on what distrust can cause in a family.
Read the story of the man whose female partner spent his £100 and 10 hours traveling trans countries to be with her ex after her current man relocate her abroad.
You know what your eyes sees that the woman is happy with the Baby Daddy as she's with you or even more than with you.
No comments here referred to how BVs have this year told women to leave Baby Daddys who are still sweet their Baby Mamas. They called the Baby Daddys men with baggages.
Not all men have the grace to marry a Baby Mama or a divorcee and ignore all between the women and their Exs. If you don't have the grace, better to leave.