IRRITATED BY BOYFRIENDS ASSOCIATION
Hello Aunt Stella.
Please I don’t know if I am overreacting or if it is normal.
There is guy that follows my man around. Not like they are blood related, but my guy just sees him as a younger brother.
They have known each other before I even met my guy and at first, I thought they were related by blood, but when I became closer to my guy I noticed they weren’t.
Now, the number 1 problem is that then, there is nowhere I go with my guy that this guy will not follow us to. And it is not only following us there, but he would also pick his phone and start to record us and then sending to his married sugar mummy that resides in the UK, thereby telling her each and every of our movements…. Including what we eat and drink.
Number 2, I also noticed that there is no day we go out that this guy does not get a takeaway. At first, I thought he was paying with his money but later found out that it is my guy’s money he uses to buy all of these things. Even if we go to the mall, he buys like say nah him money him wan use pay, but nah lie.
You need to see the way he orders for more bottles and drinks like fish since nah awoof him see.
Number 3, the one that pisses me off the most is that there is this married woman he is gbenshing now in Nigeria, Married UK sugar mummy is still there o.
He would then bring the lady to where my guy and I are and that one will be there forming one smelling big girl and be ordering for wine anytime she comes and also requests for peppersoup or roasted meat or even pork to eat there and after eating, she would still take home… And she does this every time she comes.
The one that even annoys me the most is she taking their bottles of drink home.
This lady in questions also owns a bar in her husband’s compound o, but she would not stay in her shop and instead be looking for a maga who will buy her things that her supposed boyfriend cannot buy for her.
Number 4, without permission, he would use my guy’s car to go pick the lady and sometimes keeps the lady in the car and put the AC on for her. Then when we want to go home, he would first take the lady to her house doorstep before he goes to drop us at home as he is always insisting on driving the car. (how the lady husband no dey see all these sef, I no no)
And this is really beginning to affect my relationship with my guy because I always feel disgusted by these gutter behaviors of theirs, but he would tell me to be calm that he knows what they are doing is annoying, but he is taking time to detach himself from them. (my guy is a very soft and easy going guy and they are really taking advantage of him for that) he will not detach kan kan.
My question now is, can the fool gbenshing the shameless glutton of a lady not be paying her bills?
Abi nah person wey no know the colour of her undies that will be doing it for him?
They even tried to introduce her younger sister to my man many times, but the introductions dey always fails because my man adores me and that I am so sure of.
The shameless couple now have the habbit of saying “I will eat and drink what I like, I don’t give a f**k who wanna die of hatred” and that words dey vex me ehn.
So, since my guy cannot change it for them, can I change it for them in his place?
Because trust me, I am blessed with a very wonderful mouth that can eulogies one’s generation.
Or should I just leave them be, since it is my guy they have business with?
I am already distancing myself from them, because they are so irritating to me.
Since both of them are shameless, let them do their nonsense out of my sight.
The guy himself is married to an older woman that is not that pretty because he no want make person dey gbensh him wife as him dey gbensh other men wives.
Eyes rolling...
There is guy that follows my man around. Not like they are blood related, but my guy just sees him as a younger brother.
They have known each other before I even met my guy and at first, I thought they were related by blood, but when I became closer to my guy I noticed they weren’t.
Now, the number 1 problem is that then, there is nowhere I go with my guy that this guy will not follow us to. And it is not only following us there, but he would also pick his phone and start to record us and then sending to his married sugar mummy that resides in the UK, thereby telling her each and every of our movements…. Including what we eat and drink.
Number 2, I also noticed that there is no day we go out that this guy does not get a takeaway. At first, I thought he was paying with his money but later found out that it is my guy’s money he uses to buy all of these things. Even if we go to the mall, he buys like say nah him money him wan use pay, but nah lie.
You need to see the way he orders for more bottles and drinks like fish since nah awoof him see.
Number 3, the one that pisses me off the most is that there is this married woman he is gbenshing now in Nigeria, Married UK sugar mummy is still there o.
He would then bring the lady to where my guy and I are and that one will be there forming one smelling big girl and be ordering for wine anytime she comes and also requests for peppersoup or roasted meat or even pork to eat there and after eating, she would still take home… And she does this every time she comes.
The one that even annoys me the most is she taking their bottles of drink home.
This lady in questions also owns a bar in her husband’s compound o, but she would not stay in her shop and instead be looking for a maga who will buy her things that her supposed boyfriend cannot buy for her.
Number 4, without permission, he would use my guy’s car to go pick the lady and sometimes keeps the lady in the car and put the AC on for her. Then when we want to go home, he would first take the lady to her house doorstep before he goes to drop us at home as he is always insisting on driving the car. (how the lady husband no dey see all these sef, I no no)
And this is really beginning to affect my relationship with my guy because I always feel disgusted by these gutter behaviors of theirs, but he would tell me to be calm that he knows what they are doing is annoying, but he is taking time to detach himself from them. (my guy is a very soft and easy going guy and they are really taking advantage of him for that) he will not detach kan kan.
My question now is, can the fool gbenshing the shameless glutton of a lady not be paying her bills?
Abi nah person wey no know the colour of her undies that will be doing it for him?
They even tried to introduce her younger sister to my man many times, but the introductions dey always fails because my man adores me and that I am so sure of.
The shameless couple now have the habbit of saying “I will eat and drink what I like, I don’t give a f**k who wanna die of hatred” and that words dey vex me ehn.
So, since my guy cannot change it for them, can I change it for them in his place?
Because trust me, I am blessed with a very wonderful mouth that can eulogies one’s generation.
Or should I just leave them be, since it is my guy they have business with?
I am already distancing myself from them, because they are so irritating to me.
Since both of them are shameless, let them do their nonsense out of my sight.
The guy himself is married to an older woman that is not that pretty because he no want make person dey gbensh him wife as him dey gbensh other men wives.
Eyes rolling...
Bad association corrupts alright but you are not married to this man so why do you want to chase his only friend away? You have no right to put your mouth in it cos its none of your business, he is not even engaged with you.....Let your man sort out his idrt and if he does not , you can decide to stop dating him or stop going out with them but do not make any decision for an adult man...He does not see any problem with what they are doing at all......A friend you met him with na em you want pursue? That I dont care who wanna die of hatred is meant for you.......Please have sense!
Only God knows what this man who adores you says behind your back to them cos it looks like you are not respected.
Jeeeez! You sound proud, what's with all the "Fool gbenshing the shameless glutton", "married to an older lady that is not that pretty" (how does this one concern you). Hissss
ReplyDeleteI think the next time you have an outing, politely tell him you are going on a date with your man. Gradually wean your man off him.
DeleteSimple advice for you Poster
DeleteStop dating the YAHOO BOY or the FRAUDSTER or the SUGAR BOY.
That friend may be his Finder.
All you described smells YAHOO or SUGAR BOYism
Can two walk together except they are agreed? Amos 3 v. 3
I would have also advised you to Stop dating this boy or any boy/man you get sense pass.
But that is what the typical woman's DNA tells her to do nearly always. So find another under-sensed boy or man who is not into the three acts listed above.
Would your own greed let you?
#Yinmu
Sorry, I did not read it all but just enough to see what is going on.
ReplyDeleteYour guy is already married, he is married to his friend. You are the interloper and to avoid story that touch, please extricate yourself from their lives. Whatever you want to achieve with this relationship, please abort mission and pray for a sane connection that brings peace and not discord. This is not it.
Your man is emotionally connected to his friend at a level that he will never be connected to you. Leave those two men alone and prioritize your peace and put value on your time, stop wasting time with an unavailable person.
I agree with you. There is a bond between the two guys. Poster you are the outsider without knowing it.
DeleteStella don finish the matter.
ReplyDeletePoster, keep observing them because you are still a temporary lady o.
DeleteBe calming down
it's either this man has something on your guy and this is why your guy allows all of this nonsense... or your guy is under a spell...
ReplyDeleteeither way, if you know you want and see a future with your guy better to deal with the matter with prayers in your prayer closet alone with the Lord than to be addressing this directly with them or your man... in front of them maintain your peace - in your secret place raise an altar of prayers asking that all negative influences and devourers to your guy be removed
Spell keep. There's no spell. I had a friend, we were close. Not really tight like that, but we rolled together all the time...he because he was outgoing and hypersocial and I had the means and it also cured my boredom and inertia when it came to socials. His g.f then, now wife possibly felt how the poster does now (tho it was no where as bad/intense as the picture above). We are both married and am very close to the wife as well now.
Delete@poster, you should calm down and approach this with wisdom if you really see a relationship with him. The way you're going, you'll only lose out and there's already obvious friction which will soon boil over. Face your Relationship. You aren't dating his friend. They're bros and have fought battles together which have created that bond and yes, he's aware of his bad behaviour but brotherhood transcends that. You won't understand but it is what it is. Talk to him and let him deal with it or find a way to achieve a balance . Stop pushing
Aunty you wear slippers? Pick it quick and run for your life and sanity.
ReplyDeleteYou wan change am for them as wetin na? You know weda that man na your guy 'babe'? Abeg waka comot for that situationship, because I can promise you this - it will only get worse.
Receive sense in Jesus name.
Dear Poster,
ReplyDeleteNegodu see the type of people you are associating with.....In your bid to spite your boyfriend and his ''sugar baby friend'', it also shows the type of person you are....So you don't know that lady too is your boyfriend's sugar mummy....Be there ranting and make yourself the good one while they play you kalokalo....When you are not okay with something, why not break off from such stuff....No you won't because of what you are benefitting....See you See foursome for your korokoro eyes.....
Las Las you no dey follow them drink the peppersoup from the sugar mummy money , dey shine teeth for the video so that you can enjoy goodies?
Abeg 2nd base jare and forget all these preaching you are doing here...
All the best....
poster you don't have the right to speak to them for any reason, they know that you are bitter with the way they order things and you will have HBP very soon if you continue that way. Please allow them to enjoy their selves since your man sees nothing bad about what they do. The only part i don't like is the one you said the guy takes pictures of you and your man while relaxing and send it to his sugar mummy.
ReplyDeleteYou need to sit your man down and let him know what and what you don't like about your relationship with him. Tell him you appreciate and love private time between you too, there should time you both should hang out and not all the time his friend will be among you all. This their friendship started a very long time ago and to break it will be very difficult. Your man cannot stay out without his friend, this one na long thing oh.
Never tell him to break up with his friend but just tell him your privacy with him is very important to you, you cherish time you both spend together. Does he also stay with you guys when you want to do the do, if no then he is not everywhere with your man. Hope you are not boring when you are with your man, hope you don't have terrible attitude of pressing your phone when you visit or hang out with them. Why don't you pay attention to the fun, make your own order of what you want to eat or drink, enjoy the relationship and do not calculate for your man how much he spend on daily basis. Start billing him to save up for yourself should incase relationship sink.
lastly, start observing what that guy does for your man that makes his too attached to him, you can start by doing them and that way you detach them both. But remember is very difficult to separate them.
Look at mumu
ReplyDeleteYou don’t know the woman is your man’s babe
You don’t know the guy is the holder of your mama secrets
You don’t know anything
Instead of you to calm down and plot graph you are busting fighting shadows
Look well that guy is not your enemy
Bend down and look again
You know nothing
For your mind now you are fighting for your man
Lol chai chineke….,Nne is he your man?
Like is he for you,only you?
Negodu just negodu
Madam come back when you have found out the truth not fact
So in your mind your man is a fool ba
He doesn’t know anythIng Abi
Lol
My sister if you do pass yourself,the way they will kick you out of this 5head relationship ehn….you go shock
Lekwa onu typewriter
Check well you fit be 4th side chick sef
Lol.. chaiii..
DeleteSomeone that doesn't respect you,adores you 🤣dey play..
XP I know it's you back on the blog trying to disguise. Why can't you f off and stop threatening and bullying stella ?!! Why can't you get a fucking life !! Leave stella alone you wannabe somebody!!
DeleteStella has said it,you have said it, ...they don't give a f** k who wanna die of hatred. Na you no get self respect to waka. Ask that your boyish man, he sure is gaining something from the relationship you are not aware of
ReplyDeleteHow old are you again poster ??
ReplyDeleteAll these small small girls dating yahoo boys feeling like the world revolves around them...smh
Just look at the rubbish you came here to write...🤮
Poster don’t mind this person oo.
DeleteBack to the main issue- my husbands friend were like this, though yours is worse sha. I kept talking to him until he started asking them to pay for drinks and he weaned himself off them. He even opened a supermarket for one of them back then as the guy use sob story finish am. Once he got married they saw me as the enemy automatically cos they knew it was all over. One of them, their wife wanted to stretch the money sucking to my side , I clear am the second time sharp sharp. Very evil people, if you hear what they say about my husband behind his back ehnn. Terrible
Poster pls chase them away since your man is soft.
ReplyDeleteYou will be the one taking tough decisions in that relationship if you want to enjoy it.
Are you sure the guy no be him okpo ntu partner?
ReplyDeleteMurukwa anya ka azu.
DOZZYBEST.
My dear you are overacting. Those people you are complaining about can destroy your relationship if you don't stay on your lane. You have no business with them till your guy marries you, even when you become a couple there are somethings you solve on your knees and not with chochocho. You better stay on your lane and allow his relationship with the guy. He has not married you and you are forming madam. Dey play.
ReplyDeleteSo so messy!
ReplyDeleteIf I were you I would be afraid.
Your guy is hanging out with a cheating friend and you think he’s a saint?
Eyes on the money.
DeleteEyes on the money.
Leave her she would soon see
As e be say the new Naija woman no dey work to eat.
Lolz.Aunty Mind Ya Business
ReplyDeleteshaaa Your Guy Nah hmmmmm🙄
Hello iya Boys
I don't know oooo. But they maybe more than friends. 🙄🙄🙄
ReplyDeleteUr writ up reeks of poverty, u sound soo poor at heart, see you wanting to fight people because of FOOD, food that u are not paying for.
ReplyDeleteSecondly, tell me ur friends and i’ll tell you who you are, if ur man keeps company of a tight knit friends that sleeps around with ‘sugar mummies’ best believe they are in it together, if not they cannot walk together. Good luck
Fact at your second paragraph
DeleteYou guys are mad and you deserve bad friends. I won’t let my friends take this level of leeching talk more of someone that is my boyfriend. Haba
DeletePoster are you ok ?is he married to you .I even thought you are the one paying for him .Do you know what he has done for your so called guy for him to allow him near,better mind your business and leave him alone and let your guy decide for himself .With the way you are talking even your guy junior ones and parent should send you away otherwise you will soon send them packing from him.Better go and work for your own money and stop depending on your so call guy🤣🤣🤣
ReplyDeleteAbeg go alpha to turn their face against each other while you siddon acting oblivious
ReplyDeleteIn all these, you think your 'guy' is a saint?
ReplyDeleteWith this kinda association, you should know the type of person your 'guy' is.
Better pick race.
when a sheep moves with a dog it will eat 'shit' one day that is if it hasn't been eating 'shit" but pretending to have been eating grass. There might even be some things about your guy you might not know and that his feiend is using against him so he would have tp tolerate his excesses. Well let your guy know you aint comfortable with his friend always being present in your outings that you need that privacy and space. The truth is you can't take decision for hi. and dont ever confeont his friend its your guy you have to call to order. This one you are just dating and wahala plenty like this, please reason am well oo, except you are just with him for his money.. it is well o
ReplyDeleteSpeak to your man again, Maybe tell him that you want your outings to be between both of you, then he can do another outing with his friend and his concubines.
ReplyDeleteSee ehh, if you are not careful, you will be the one to be chased out, of this circle, and they will still be friends, if you know, you truly love your man, then follow this issue with wisdom.
lol. Your guy does not see anything wrong in his friend cheating activities and Thé rubbish they do in front of him. That’s is what you should even be worried about.
ReplyDeleteYou have no idea the ones he does with them behind your back.
You do not want to end up A man with no values and boundaries.
"You do not want to end up A man with no values and boundaries."
DeleteAnd therefore miss all the lavishness around him.
Imagine what she would have if all he spends on his friends are spent on her.
Do the arithmetic. You will understand her angst.
Hehehehehe
Aunty, e don marry you? E don engage you?
ReplyDeleteIf e never marry you, put hand for Jaw dey look. Me sef dey learn for relationship matter but I go talk something.
Make I switch to Oyibo language..
It is not in your place to end or do anything about their friendship. Don't try it. The only person that can decide whether or not to discontinue such association is your guy.
It is generally not advisable to try and force someone to cut ties with a friend especially this type, they've been friends even before you came into the picture.
My sister, e go hard. doing so can damage the relationship and create resentment.
Instead, focus on open communication with your boyfriend about how you feel, and encourage him to maintain a healthy balance between his friendships and your relationship.
It is true that your boyfriend's friend has influence over him; however, it is essential to recognize that no one can coerce your boyfriend into doing something he is not willing to do.
Many women attempt to change their partners after entering a relationship.
Big Mistake.
Instead of trying to enlighten him about potential exploitation, focus on having an open conversation about your concerns. Emphasize how such behavior affects you, rather than directly criticizing his friend. Hope you dig?
Establish clear boundaries and encourage him to make choices aligned with his values and mutual respect.
And if after all is said and done, the kitchen con still dey hot. Even pass before.
Baby, you know what to do
Don’t go with them
ReplyDeleteAsk for your own outing and let them go their own
Dear Poster,
ReplyDeleteStella has shown you one side of the coin. Let me and BVs show you the other. I have a problem with your chronicle, and it starts with you. There’s a loud absence of self-worth in your tone. You’ve written with the wide eyes of someone caught up in the glitter, not the grit - frills and thrills. But when you squint past the frills, you’ll see disrespect staring you dead in the face.
Back to your vexation, it isn’t about your boyfriend’s friend. Not really. It’s about your man’s soluble boundaries - or lack of them. You’re not angry because a third wheel keeps tagging along; you’re upset your partner doesn’t have the spine to draw the line. You’re dating a man whose passivity enables chaos - could that be his nature? But it leaves you chewing your own tongue in silence. Are the benefits worth it? Or you are just a pawn?
Don’t play bodyguard to a grown man’s dignity. If he doesn’t defend the sanctity of your relationship, you need to defend your peace by respecting your name on the scorecard of conquests so conquered by a conqueror you call boyfriend. Love without respect is like soup without salt - colourful, but useless on the tongue. Why waste your voice where your presence is quietly tolerated, not treasured?
If you keep babysitting a situation you didn’t cause, you’ll burn out trying to fix a house you don’t own but keep paying its rent. Step back and choose peace. It baffles me to see you prioritising a convenience that has never included you while disrespecting yourself. It's clear you are not properly seeing the image in your mirror - oops, my bad. But you’re starting to look like a placeholder too - just like the friend you’re so angry about.
Poster change it for them. You guy doesn't have that ability. He doesn't know how to do it so you have to step in now and change it for them, let anything that wants to happen happen. If you don't stop them now you will be in a very long thing in marriage. Stop them by force now ,help your man to achieve that because his kind of person cannot do it no matter how hard he tries because of his softness.
ReplyDeleteThat married lady is shagging your boyfriend. That car does not belong to your boyfriend, it belongs to his friend or the married lady.
ReplyDeleteThe married lady you are calling a glutton may be the one sponsoring your boyfriend. You better keep quiet and observe. They are keeping you as a wife while they continue their parole. Nne, take your time and observe first. They are playing you well.
There is more to their story.
KING XOXO MYSTERY
Exactly what I was gonna type. Poster there is more to their relationship, if I were you, I will keep quiet and observe like XOXO suggested, albeit silently. Ask questions, if possible tell God to reveal anything hidden about your guy, and his friend to you. Moving forward please do not bring this issue up with your man.....JUST OBSERVE nothing stays hidden forever. All the best
DeletePoster, is your man complaining? This people had lived like that before you came into your man's life! Let them be
ReplyDelete