I hear the above all the time and I also read and hear stories from women who say their married friends started avoiding them after the wedding.
When asked, there are various reasons given for this behavior.
"Women are wicked, they will sleep with your husband and may even snatch him from you".
"Some are frenemies, they are jealous secretly, they may harm your marriage by leaking your secrets to your spouse or go diabolical"
"They may give you bad advice and be a bad influence in your marriage"
I agree that the above points and more do happen, single or even married women do the above to their friends but not all.
The onus is on you to filter your friends after marriage, you know the type of friends you keep as a single lady. Y'all may be into runs, diabolical stuff, rolling with criminals, etc. You don't need a soothsayer to advice you to keep them off your marriage after you get hitched.
However, in a case where you roll with God-fearing ladies, ladies that still have small conscience, you don't have to cut them off.
This is the case of my wife. She still maintained some of her single friends after marriage including the ones that got married and got divorced. Even if they are not in the same location, they keep in touch
Last year, one of them told her about a government recruitment in our location and encouraged her to apply.
My wife was sceptical at first, we don't know anyone in government but this friend was persistent, she assured us that everything will go well and that she will put in a word for my wife as she knows a top shot in the ministry.
You see that her last line, I had been hearing it since I finished secondary school. " I will submit your CV at my place of work" "I will call the head of that department" "I will do this and that", yet nothing at the end of the day.
We applied with faith, she was called for test. Later, it was interview, then screening and nothing was heard since last November. I had doubts in my mind but I didn't voice it out.
My wife's friend kept calling to encourage her to be prayerful.
Last month, she received that call.
Now she is gainfully employed in a government ministry without paying money for slot or any other backyard doings. All thanks to her single friend.
We thank God.
We thank God.
It is not a good thing to do except you have yeye friends. Your wife is wise
ReplyDeleteyour wife is a good person and it pays off for her. to the others with such mentality, let the singles breathe. nice weekend you all
ReplyDeleteHow did you know that she did not pay for it with the other side? Will she tell you?
ReplyDeleteI was just cruising, don't mind me o.
Anyway congratulations to you and your family.
Because you "pay with the other side", doesn't mean his wife does. Everyone is not morally low or decadent. Also, not everything is "cruise".
Delete(Some of) you lots should stop the habit of trying to puncture holes in someone's story.
Most women in bad marriages cut off their friends both single and married because of what they are passing through in their homes.
ReplyDeleteAnother reason.
DeleteThey don't want their single friends to see the shege banza that they are seeing in the marriage, meanwhile they will be posting sweet photos to pepper their single friends
Well written oga married man.
ReplyDeleteWhen you know the type of friends you have, you will know whether to avoid them after marriage or not. I avoided mine, not because I feared they may flirt with my husband, not at all, my husband is very disciplined. I avoided them so that they will not 'jabo' one day in his presence and say what will shock the poor man concerning our doings as single ladies 🤣.
The man will die of heartbreak. Is it the abortions that some of them used to carry me to their doctors and plead for a discount or the married men that we arranged for each other. We may just be gisting one day in my house and one of them may just say "Anuty Anon, you remember that your Chief whom you said he likes giving head back then, I saw him at the airport last month, he said he missed you so much ".
Kwakwakwa 🤣🤣🤣🤣
SMH!
DeleteHow is this comment funny?
I hope you are enjoying your marriage sha.
SMH!
DeleteHow is this comment funny?
I hope you are enjoying your marriage sha.
Anon 14:36 I'm enjoying my marriage, that's the reason why I don't want anything to tamper with the joy. My husband is the best man I have ever met. Faithful, caring, hardworking and handsome. He is not a saint too but I want the past to remain in the past..
DeleteI forgot to add that we have two beautiful children ❤️
DeleteEnjoy your weekend @14:36
Congrats to your wife.
ReplyDeleteNa mumu dey cut friends off, me and my girls for life, even distance cannot separate us.
For life oh!
DeleteWomen know their friends well...the ones that can snatch or visit herbalists. I still have friends from primary school single & married, we remain good friends 🥰
ReplyDeleteKudos to your wife, she gained from her good friend 👍👍
Adunni
The author wrote:
ReplyDelete"Y'all may be into runs, diabolical stuff, rolling with criminals, etc."
WTF is this? This is too large of a brush you just painted with. And no, married women don't necessarily have to go out of their way to sideline and sidestep single friends. It is mostly a natural process.
The objects of her focus changes. What she has to talk about is not what a single lady may relate with. They can't be on the same page. Running a home as a wife is very tasking and she finds that time management is something she must develop. She is battling kids, handling husband and still working to get income. She becomes many persons in one. Where will she get the time to indulge and entertain her single friends?
I am a guy and I see the kind of distance that has come between me and my single friends. We don't have the same mindset to matters anymore. My perspective to issues is very much different from theirs.
My point is, you won't even need to think about cutting off your single circle. The responsibilities of marriage alone will make them fade naturally from your mind.
Story 🙄
DeleteHaving friends who will encourage you to do something beneficial to you is always good.
ReplyDeleteWow congratulations to your wife.
ReplyDeleteIf I'm a man and wife start cutting off her friends after we got married, I go take side eye dey look her because I believe as a person, you attract and roll with your like.
Though I have a small circle, No friend cut me after getting married and I didn't cut any too.
All my single friends are still my friends till date. Infact, one of my besties is actually divorced and we are still close till date. It’s like God created my different because God forbid I cut off my friends because I got married and they are yet to be married.
ReplyDeleteThe ones cutting off their friends, maybe they know they were friends with people of dubious character because why will I have a decent friend and cut them off for any reason?
As for me o, as a single lady always distance myself from my married friends. Apart from the change in status, I don't like insults of any kind and I respect myself. If they need me, they know where to find me and if I can help I will, but from afar.
ReplyDeleteSame here. I’m happy for them but distance myself because na the single friend dem dey first blame if any issues arise even when you know nothing about the matter.
DeleteBut on a serious note, if your wife cancels all her single friends after marriage, the man should look his wife well. It either indicates a prideful spirit or that she has a past to hide.
Am still friends with my single sisters,good human relationships is the new currency in town,if you like have first class plus or PHD race to power 30,your breakthrough is in the hands of people you come across in life and the relationship you built over time with them,I treasure good human relationships over money.
ReplyDeletei gbadun you as always
ReplyDelete