CONFUSED
Dear Stella I just found out my friend is Positive in the most mundane way.
I was cleaning the house when I stumbled on her drugs. I couldn't help but confront her as she was living in my house.
I honestly don't know how not to stigmatize her, as I do it unconsciously. Everytime I remember she is positive I kinda begin to act funny.
I noticed recently that she has started being reckless, as she goes out with different men, I am scared to ask her if she is s#xually involved with those men and if she uses condoms?
I have friends telling me to hook them up with her but I just can't. Coz I am scared she might not tell them of her status and end up infecting them.
Honestly I need help. I love my friend so much and I just don't know how to go about it.
I have friends telling me to hook them up with her but I just can't. Coz I am scared she might not tell them of her status and end up infecting them.
Honestly I need help. I love my friend so much and I just don't know how to go about it.
If you love her so much then sit her down and ask all these questions, tell her of your fears, TALK TO HER COS SHE MIGHT BE SPREADING IT KNOWINGLY and you dont want someone like that around u cos she can wear your undies with you..
Dont keep quiet until you are sure she is doing the right thing.....
Send me a mail on the update OK?
Speak to her before she infects you or anyone around you, get to know if she has been using condoms.
ReplyDeleteSit her down and advice her on the dangers of reckless living.
ReplyDeleteIt's very unnecessary to stigmatize her as you cannot get HIV from sharing clothes, undies, cutleries and other household stuff or living in the same with an infected person.
hmmm. your friend still has the right to date. but you have to sit her down and have a talk with her if she is sleeping with this guy's she is dating with condom. you can only advise if she isn't because you can't go behind her back and tell who she is dating that she is positive because she might sue you
ReplyDeletemehn! guys we need to be careful. this thing is no joke. HIV is real
How we handle sensitive matters the first time leaves the real impression. How did you “confront” her? You stated that you are treating her different and she is finding solace in male company because of the breakdown in the home. If she goes out and stays out she will see you less, that is likely her reasoning.
ReplyDeleteIf she is on good drugs that brings her viral load way down she will not be able to transmit anything to anyone, not even a baby.. Cookie Johnson never contracted hiv after over 40 yrs of living with a husband with the disease.
I am not sure how close you are to her but you need to first apologize for how you handled the situation. Then talk about it and ask how she has been carrying such a secret so long all alone. Secrets like this one can be a heavy weight to carry because the person doesn’t know who to trust and whose love is assured. She may have even placed the drugs out so you would find them and perhaps the discussion could be had through love and compassion. We all fail at moments, it is how we resolve our issues afterwards that shows who we are. You still have a chance to mend this situation.
If you are unsure what to say, go to websites for help. Call a AIDS program and speak to a counsellor explaining what happened and get some guidance on how to approach the matter with sensitivity. There is even a bv with a column here that you could see if you can get in contact with. May you both heal from this rift.
You have to win her trust,so she can open up to you.
ReplyDeleteWhat kind of business are you in yourself?. Since you have friends casually asking you to hook up with her? Are you sure you shouldn't be checking your own status instead of being surprised at another's. Cos you 2 seem to be birds of same feathers.
ReplyDeletePlease tell her that she should not spread the virus.
ReplyDeleteEven if you tell her now to spread it, she won't listen. Just be careful that she's not sharing your things with you
ReplyDelete