Hmmmm......
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
DIFFICULT HUSBAND
My friend is having issues with her husband that’s based abroad while she’s here in Nigeria,the man told her he will be sending his lawyer tomorrow so she can give him all his landed documents. He told her she will sign zero under each document before handing them over to the lawyer.
My friend is having issues with her husband that’s based abroad while she’s here in Nigeria,the man told her he will be sending his lawyer tomorrow so she can give him all his landed documents. He told her she will sign zero under each document before handing them over to the lawyer.
She refused and said she will not but wait till he returns so she can hand them over to him the same way he gave them to her. She said her name is not in any of the documents but her reason is that the husband can come back tomorrow and claim he did not send anybody to collect the documents and start making troubles with her.
The man is seriously angry and telling her to do exactly what he said or he will show her.
Please note that she was the one that helped him develop the ones he has structures in and she has been the one supervising them without any gain cos she believes it’s their properties. She said unless the lawyer comes with police she will never hand him those documents.
They have been married since 2018 and have 2 kids together. Since that 2018 the man has just returned to Nigeria 2wice. They started dating before he went abroad and he came back in 2018 and married her then got her pregnant and travelled back, he came back again in December 2021 got her pregnant and travelled around May since then he hasn’t been to Nigeria again and last year when she told him she’s lonely he got angry and said she wanted him to come and be s*x*** her.
The man is seriously angry and telling her to do exactly what he said or he will show her.
Please note that she was the one that helped him develop the ones he has structures in and she has been the one supervising them without any gain cos she believes it’s their properties. She said unless the lawyer comes with police she will never hand him those documents.
They have been married since 2018 and have 2 kids together. Since that 2018 the man has just returned to Nigeria 2wice. They started dating before he went abroad and he came back in 2018 and married her then got her pregnant and travelled back, he came back again in December 2021 got her pregnant and travelled around May since then he hasn’t been to Nigeria again and last year when she told him she’s lonely he got angry and said she wanted him to come and be s*x*** her.
During that October when he complained about the picture she posted on her WhatsApp they little baby fell sick and she told him but he didn’t bother, later she told him she took the baby to hospital and he got angry saying he did not instruct her to take the baby to hospital then he blocked her.
Since then he only unblock and call the children when he feels like.
This is what happens when you depend on a man for everything!!!!
What kind of behaviour is this? It looks like this man has checked out of the marriage and was looking for an excuse which she gave him...
I saw the photo she posted and indeed it not a good photo but mistakes and corrections are OK!!............She was not naked, so what is this?????????
Tell her to stop begging him and concentrate on other things, if the Marriage has ended, she will not die!!!...I am so pissed and upset......
You people should stop marrying all these abroad men, they are evil!!!
Tell her to see a family lawyer. She needs legal advice. Seems like he is ready to put she and the children on the streets with zero to their names. She has legal protection and she should seek it.
ReplyDeleteNothing wrong with ppl breaking up and moving on, sometimes ppl do really marry the wrong person and need to make a correction but do the right thing and cause no harm to another, when children are involved they must be protected and ensure their quality of life does not diminish because of parental breakup
You're not speaking to Nigeria men and the judicial system.
Delete15:47, irrespective of the usual, there are still fair judges in the courts. Not everyone can be bought.
DeleteWomen try and get busy, make your money,have a plan B,God! The man is so childish.she should stick to her opinion.
ReplyDeleteThis ain't no marriage.
ReplyDeleteIf na some women, dem go sell half that property before he reach Nigeria, hell be damned! He’s a selfish he goat. Imagine saying he didn’t instruct her to take the child to hospital
ReplyDeleteI am beginning to be scared with Stella's last line o. I have a man abroad whom I have been dating for 2years now and he is planning on coming back to do the marriage rite and also to meet him for the first time. In these 2years of dating, we have been sweet together o. I don't want stories o
ReplyDeleteKikikiki... just wow...
DeleteI wish you well...
If you are getting married and joining him immediately good.
If not, shine ya eyes
There is good and bad everywhere
DeleteThe woman is too soft. She should not release any document.. If na me, I will sell the land and relocate with my kids. Two can play that game.
ReplyDeleteShe is too quiet the stupid man will not enjoy what he has until he loses it
DeleteMadam gather mind sell the properties that can give you enough money to relocate.
You have to act fast because that animal you called husband is not yours again
This story is not clear, you guys dated before marriage and before he eventually traveled out, what plans did he layout? I am sure you guys discussed because I don't understand why a married man won't see his wife for 4 years and only come to impregnate her. Let me assume you both had an agreement to this.
ReplyDeleteCan’t she see that she is the man’s retirement plan?
ReplyDeleteStay there. Helping him develop property without your name there
No be errand girl she be like this?
Had babies for him and kept his properties for what exactly in return?
Stop giving your prime and most productive years to these men abroad una no go hear. I blame poverty sha!
Zendaya
Hey God!! What is this biko nnu!!
ReplyDeleteDear Poster,
Tell your friend to wipe her tears and start from the scratch...She married an unkind and callous man so there is no need whipping a dead horse...Let her involve hers and the man's family while documenting everything that has transpired....Let her get a good lawyer to negotiate her compensation and finally dissolve the marriage.....She has to brace herself and develop a thick skin because it is now her Chi, her children and herself she has left....
You are doing a good job seeking for her good. Please give her all the support she needs...She need to find something to do no matter how small......
The man will meet his waterloo...Highly irresponsible man...
All the best....
God please how can I marry and not see preek
ReplyDeleteHaaaa God forbid
Preek wey dey sweet like sugar cane na im my fellow woman dey married but single
So what's the point of the ring bikozienu
.As in he came to Nigeria to cage you and go back
Wetin Una dey do sef
Can never be me
I took like prick abeg
Wait oh so how do you cure konji
Tufuakwa abeg
Two children in the two times he came to Nigeria
You don't have sense,even half sense.so you've never been to America ,you've never visited
Una dey take risk oh
God forbid bad thing
Pls give his lawyer the documents
ReplyDeleteI don’t like people holding what’s not theirs
Your name is not on them and he’s nervous you will do something
Even if her name is not on the on the property, she also has rights to them as long as he acquired them after they got married. Contact a good lawyer, but if they were bought before you got married, hmmm, e fit hard oh.
DeletePoster I hope the man is taking care of you and the kids oh. Because this wan when you dey, no be marriage at all. Na one-chance you don enter so.
ReplyDeleteMarried since 2018 and been to Nigeria only twice. The 2nd time he visited was Dec 2021 - May 2022. And that's over 3yrs ago.
She needs to go and get a job and make her own money. Her kids are there for her to look after.
ReplyDeleteUna sabi give good advice on this blog well.
ReplyDeleteShe should sell all the properties and relocate. Right?
You think everybody can relocate even with some money in hand?
You think all men would let the sale of their properties slide because of marriage problems?
She should sell half of the properties. Abi?
Would you buy properties in the name of Mr. B from Mrs. B? Or would you advise your brother/husband/boyfriend to buy that type of property? Or would you put your name and professional license to such a transaction if you are a licensed professional?
Even if the properties can be called matrimonial properties, can she sell without proper divorce and judicial or customary division of the properties?
Can’t you see the level of trust the husband has in the wife to leave his properties’ document in her hands?
How many of you have your husbands’ properties’ documents in your hands?
Did you not see that she did not complain about maintenance?
Did you not see she did not talk about default on any agreed date of relocation to join him?
Did you not see her complaint is loneliness apparently from irregular visits?
Is it not apparent that the properties only came up because the woman is thinking going out of the marriage?
Did you not see Stella’s comment that her posting on social media, though not obscene, is not befitting of her status as a married woman?
She should go see a Lawyer to leave the marriage, etc.
Good advice if she wants out of the marriage. It is her right.
But has she explored all other traditional avenues of resolving the matter?
Does she really know the paper status and all round position of the man in his place of residence?
And what if her type of marriage and the related marital/legal rights are unfavourable?
Above all,
If a woman (wife) is abroad in similar circumstances, would you advise the husband to sell the properties (she purchased in her name) to relocate or go out of the marriage?
Hear, Poster go and sell the properties, or tell your friend to sell them.
Do not double your efforts at resolving the real issue at stake or finding amicable and mutually beneficial solutions even if it involves marital dissolution.
#Yinmu
Don’t mind most female BVs - always making comments from emotions rather than common sense.
DeleteWe often say men are lazy, yet many women also have this loafing dream into a quiet laziness; waiting to marry comfort, drifting without deep thought or a structured plan for life. The stories on this blog testify to how deeply this mindset has travelled across generations.
ReplyDeletePoster, I am troubled by your friend’s plight. She is not truly a wife, she appears like a watchman, guarding another family’s wealth while starving in spirit with hope.
A man who dreams of relocation but makes no concrete plans to bring his wife and children, who sets no agreed-upon timelines for living together or making shared decisions, is not building a marriage. He only married to appease his parents.
And when a man blocks his family in anger, when obedience matters more to him than care, he has already abandoned the marriage in his heart. What I see is not a man nurturing his home, but one quietly cutting his losses. Your friend should know by now: he has built another family abroad.
She must never hand over those documents casually. Originals are powerful; once released, she loses both leverage and protection. If he truly wants them, let him issue a signed letter of instruction, grant a proper Power of Attorney, and let the exchange be handled through her lawyer, with a stamped receipt and full inventory. Anything less leaves her open to claims, betrayal, even fraud. Trust between them has already died.
ReplyDeleteBeyond property, his behaviour shows a pattern of control and neglect. She must put herself and her children first. She should start standing on her own feet: find work if she doesn't already have one, record every contribution and communication, and engage a family lawyer at once for custody, maintenance, and property rights - if there's a chance.
Is it not better to walk through hardship with peace of mind than sit in comfort shackled by chains? This is no ordinary marital quarrel. Her financial security is at stake. And mark my words - his parents may yet seek the children under one guise or another.
The greater mistake is binding one’s youth and life to a man who only flies in to plant children before returning abroad. Such distance only breeds estrangement. Marriage thrives when two grow side by side, not when one waits like a placeholder for the other’s return. Abeg, life is far too short to waste on a spouse who has already gone without a goodbye.