BRIGHT AND MASTER
Please I am in urgent need of your advice.
I'm a 35yrs , mother of four boys and widow for the past 7 year now trying to meet up life.
I have a small provisions business which i am managing with my boys .Last year I met an old friend ( Bright) and we started a relationship, which i am believing God to start up a family with him.( Mind you bright also has his own kids two boys and two girls, he is based in Imo while I base in Yenagoa) he is a civil servant.
All this while bright has been good to me and my kids, likewise me too. Along the line l also met a friend (master) who is also a business partner here in Yenagoa.
He told me he likes me but I informed him i am in a relationship already, he said it is ok, that we should be friends and I accepted.
For the last 4-5month now. Master has been helpful to me both financially and materially, unlike bright who happened to be my fiance' , who never gives me a helping hand from month to months.
Bright can never send me money for upkeep or feeding . I have never asked him by the grace of God, God has be providing for us. But even as of that, I still love him and never let him down for any reason. But master always buys and support the family with the little he could.
Remember master knows that I have a fiance', whom he has met. Master and us has been in peace and unity all this while with other members of the family. We cook and eat together, talk and take advice from each other.
He only comes to the shop.
Since last month my fiance visited and also notice that I always give out food to master. Then bright starting putting up a fight, saying he is not okay with me giving Master food, rather he should go cook for himself or get a girlfriend who will cook for him.
I only give him food once a day (dinner). This food matter, most times he send me money to cook for him and the family but my fiance has never bring out money for me to cook any day . He has been around for one month now, nothing from him as support.
So please I need a your advice. What should I do in this case.
All i will say is that a man who knows a womans needs is priceless....
So your man Bright has been with you for a month and has not brought out money for food but when Master brings money for you to cook for him andthe kids,Bright will eat from the food...Now Bright wants you to stop cooking for Master? to chase him away?........See eh, that Bright will become a weapon fashioned against you....End that friendship and face taking care of your four kids.......I wonder why you are looking for love again when you have kids to take care of.....Will the man you meet agree to marry you and accept your kids?please dump Bright and face front.
You said Bright has been good to you, and your kids. You also said Bright never gives you a helping hand from months to months. (Make me understand.)
ReplyDeleteMe sef confuse. So how has bright been good to you???
DeleteWhy will bright set mouth to eat the food that another man sent money to cook?
Thank you. I don’t understand
DeleteExactly. What do you mean poster?
DeleteWhat I mean, is that his like a father to my kids, since they lost their dad. His comfortable with them, the kids also are comfortable with him . They don't feel like stranger. I hope you understand what I mean .
DeleteOk. Abeg LEAVE Bright
DeleteYou felt bright was good but met better with Master....use your tongue to count your teeth...hope you know Bright feels like he is doing you a favour by being a father figure to your kids..But Master is also playing that role by helping you ease the burden financially..isn't that what you need at this stage? Abi na love you want chop with 4 boys?
DeleteSo a man cannot be good to a woman if he's not giving her money. Na wa for una oooo. How is a woman good to another woman? Use your sense to draw similarity for men too. Greedy hungry lazy women.
DeletePoster why are you confused. Be there talking love with Bright. Don't dump him and face one that knows how to love a woman better
ReplyDeleteBright will soon darken you. Use your tongue to count your teeth. The love and marriage you are looking for you don't need it. Focus on your children.
ReplyDeleteDear Poster,
ReplyDeleteI must commend you for your strength over the past seven years and for holding things down as both father and mother........Your desire to feel love again and to have a positive father figure in your sons’ lives is completely understandable. However, the situation you’re describing seems a bit like musical chairs almost as though it has slipped into a teenage-style dating pattern......
You have sons now, and it’s important to avoid sending mixed signals to both men involved.....You don’t need to create different scenarios around your children to figure things out. Please take a moment to pause and step back from both men for now.
Master has not clearly defined his intentions with you, and men like him sometimes believe that throwing money around is enough to win any woman they want......You need to tread carefully here; once the excitement and financial generosity wear off, what comes next?
Bright might also be indecisive, and considering that he has his own children, blending families is never straightforward.....Is Bright single, married, or divorced? And what about Master; is he single, married, or divorced? These things matter a great deal.......
For now, please put a hold on the cooking and other forms of emotional investment with Master........Take time for a sincere self-reflection about what you truly want in a partner......Weigh your options objectively and make your decisions carefully. Your sons are watching and learning from you every day......
Thank God you have the resources to take good care of them, but please consider the long-term implications and what kind of stability you want for your family’s future......Please pray to God for wisdom and direction to make the right decision.....
All the best.....
Madam dump that Bright with immediate effect and face your children. As soon as i read IMO state, i knew where the story was headed. Please Imo people do not come for me oooo, i have family members married to to them
ReplyDeleteMadam, Bright is a parasite. Expel him from your life. How can a responsible man stay in a woman's house for one month? That's a sign of efulefu! Tufiakwa. Don't let man matter complicate your life. Face your kids.
ReplyDeleteMadam, let me be sincere with you - you now prefer Master because he gives you money and I don't blame you in this your situation you need all the support because it is not easy to maintain the children. However my sister be careful because all that glitters are not gold.
ReplyDeleteMaster knows you have a fiance and does not mind, he gives you money (bait) because he is taking his time to get your attention by the time he gets down there he may not be the same person and more over don't rush into getting married again - the house is full.
Bright is a user, discard him. Be careful with master. What you want is a sustainable relationship.
ReplyDeleteWatch master after you have discarded Bright for a while and see whether he is consistent. Do not tell Master that you have left Bright until you are convinced he is what he pretends to be.
Collect resetting slap!
ReplyDeleteIf you know what is best for you run away from Bright and cling to Master, my dear I say run away from Bright ooo...nothing will change after marriage, don't say we didn't warn you.
What useless relationship are u having with bright?
ReplyDeleteHe doesn't help u in anyway and still wants to chase your helper away..
Please let bright find his own wife and stay with master..
At 35, I am sure your children are still very young or at most teenagers. .I might sound insensitive. I find it odd when a woman with young children bring a male friend to the house to the extent of cooking for him. I am sure you send your children some times to.deliver the food to them. You knew you had a fiance and still gave Master a chance. What were you expecting from Bright..clap for you?
ReplyDeleteHas any of them.propsoed to you or Master is enjoying well cooked dinner while Bright is enjoying your money and free food.
You have been married before. You will agree that Nothing beats peace of mind. Go for anyone that gives you peace
It's like you're indecisive. Can't you see Master is the right one? I mean you have children to take care of, and I don't think marriage should be on your mind right now.
ReplyDeleteDid you say Stingy Bright also has children? 🚩. Sorry is Bright a widower? What if the mother of his children decide to show you shege after marrying him?
Please, kindly stick to Master.
Poster don't start what you cannot sustain. For how long do you want to continue taking care of 4 children plus a full grown man all by yourself?
ReplyDeleteYou need to sit down with your fiance and have a very serious conversation; the result of the discussion will enable you take the final decision about your relationship and your future.
Also pray very well for wisdom and guidance.
Best wishes.
Poster don't start what you cannot sustain. For how long do you want to continue taking care of 4 children plus a full grown man all by yourself?
ReplyDeleteYou need to sit down with your fiance and have a very serious conversation; the result of the discussion will enable you take the final decision about your relationship and your future.
Also pray very well for wisdom and guidance.
Best wishes.
leave bright abeg.
ReplyDeleteYou said and I quote ‘All this while bright has been good to me and my kids….’ In what way exactly please?
ReplyDeleteImagine being around for a month and hasn’t even helped you in any way. So I ask again, in what way has he been good to you and your kids? By just being a ‘fiance’?’
Hunty, use your tongue and count your teeth.
Marry Master and live happily ever after
ReplyDeleteContinue cooking for him
The only reason you don’t know how bad bright is is because master is giving you money and so you’re not hungry and can feed your children well
Ask Bright for money first
Poster you have four kids why do you want to marry again?,focus on your kids and self you can do boyfriend and enjoy your life,you need someone to help you not someone like bright.if master is love is genuine please focus on him.
ReplyDeleteWhy
DeleteLet her marry if she wants
How much focus do kids need that a mother can’t have a husband
I wonder too. She wanted to start a family with Bright.
DeleteSomeone that has four kids, she too has four kids, he is a stingy civil servant, she runs a small provision shop. How will they both cater for more children in their situation?
I wonder why some people are like this. They just like creating problems for themselves.
Instead of her to focus on Master if he is not someone's husband, she is calling that stingy Bright her fiancee.
You have 4kids and you're now thinking of marrying a stingy man with 4 kids also.Add the both of you to the kids and that's 10 persons depending on your provision shop in this Tinubu regime;because once you marry him,Master will stop helping.Use your tongue to count your teeth, if you like, allow them sweet talk or money- trap you into another marriage,'iga ebe kwaaaa ka okwa'.
ReplyDeleteYou can test Bright to see how genuine and serious he is about your relationship. Stop feeding him and start asking him for money for food, clothes, school fees, etc.
ReplyDeleteI read this chronicle slowly to understand.
ReplyDeleteYou said:
"All this while bright has been good to me and my kids, likewise me too"
Then you said again:
Bright can never send me money for upkeep or feeding .
What sort of "good" is he now good to you?
Abi he is good in gbenshing you?
Meanwhile, I didn't see where you said any of the two men is either divorced or widowed. Are you dating and also cooking for people's husbands?
Poster, forget about Bright, and focus your attention on yourself, your kids and Master. You clearly need help and Bright is not looking any bright in this your narration.
ReplyDeleteIt is possible to give gifts without loving, but it is impossible to truly love without giving.
ReplyDeleteWhat is the essence of love without sacrifices and generosity?
For God so loved the world that "He Gave."
This is a direct quote from the Bible (John 3:16) that illustrates how the ultimate act of love is seen as one of sacrifice and giving.
True love is characterized by the willingness to sacrifice and give parts of oneself, time, energy, and affection. The absence of this giving spirit means the LOVE is either not genuine or is incomplete.
How can someone claim to love you yet display indifference to your well being and that of your children? o wrong nau. Which kain love be that one? e go worse if una marry o.
Someone is "Good" to you and e no fit support you and your children with as little as possible.
My sister, you never see love o. love is defined and expressed through the act of giving, making it a fundamental action rather than just a feeling.
I am not in a position to advise you on choosing between the two men in your life, as their intentions towards you are not known to me. I can't begin to tell you who is good and who is better for you.
I am not one to advise others on their choices, as human behavior is unpredictable and actions are not always driven by the best of intentions. Na experience teach me that one.
However, given your more intimate knowledge of them, I suggest that you undertake a careful assessment of the pros and cons and choose the person who enhances your life with peace, completeness and tranquility.
Baci, I just love you o. Arggggggh
DeleteYou are loaded with braiiiins and articulation.
Bright won't marry you and you won't find peace with him.
ReplyDeleteYou don't need another marriage now. Invest your time into your children they will thank you later in life. When you are ready to remarry, you will know.
Marrying Bright with four kids of his own is a disaster and won't end well
Please, focus on your children now. Let two finish university and help you with the remaining two. You will be fulfilled sticking with your children. May God grant you the strength to continue to be a good mother.
Dear Poster, As much as I wouldn't judge you for wanting a man in your life after 7 years, you still need to be very careful. If i were to be in your shoes, with 4 children, getting married now would be the least of my concerns, maybe later when the children are grown and I'm also more stable. But then, we are different.
ReplyDeleteAt 35, you're still quite young. If you marry another man now, the chances of you having more children is very high. With 4 children already on ground, you now want to add a stingy man to the mix, one with his own 4 children o. Hmm, my sister, please dont complicate your life.
I won't tell you who to choose or drop between the 2 men, but one thing is clear, you need a man that can support you in every way, most especially financially. Not one that'll become an extra burden. Love is never enough. So weigh your options carefully. If possible please leave marriage alone for now. I pray God leads you through .
Hello madam....I salute your courage for taking care of the boys . I think you should pause the marriage or fiance thing for now, you should focus on your sons, they are four in number. Don't entangle yourself with Bright, what if you start a family with him, and all becomes chaotic,his responsibilities distract you from your boys?
ReplyDeleteDon't rush into anything with Master either, just maintain your peace, while he his supporting the children. What you need now is support, not marriage . Let the love be among the 5 of you for now. Please let marriage or fiancee, be out of it for now, get the support you need, don't entangle yourself with marriage..the one that will even shock you the most is the pressure of giving birth again...just stop!.
Sounds like they are only fulfilling parts of your requirements.
ReplyDeleteSee if Bright can take over the financial requirements to make it complete.
See if Master can do other things apart from just money.
That way you know who is well rounded
May i suggest uou keep them aqay from your sons till you have done this?
Stella this lady is 35,i m older than she is and best believe still very gallant and needs companionshion , sex, financial support afforded by a partner.
What do you mean by focus on your kids? Take time o
Choose wisely.
ReplyDeleteThe emotional connection that you feel with Bright you could probably get the same connection from a dog or a tree, and the tree has the potential to bear food for the family. Bright is great to talk to but to fulfill the material needs of life he is not the one, he has his own responsibilities and you even have more children than he does. He may really like you, even love you but a man suddenly being responsible for 6 children is no easy task in 2025/2026. If he is dragging his feet, I get it. He is only a civil servant. Master seems to have assessed your situation and fashioned himself up to the task. However, I would be wary of jumping into anything with anyone. You have to be prayerful and watchful to see a person's true nature before you pull your children into a life they did not ask for. Yes, Master is wonderful, and giving but have you seen him day to day, do you know how he will be with four boys and what if a baby comes along and all your attention goes to the baby.
ReplyDeleteYou may feel that you need to marry to have a man for your sons and some support. It may be wiser for your to see how you can improve your business, make more money and become more financially abundant. Look out into the society is there something that you could do to bring in more money? Sometimes a man is not the answer, just making better money or living in better conditions is all that you need. You are a businesswoman, think of ways that you can grow and increase your wealth. Talk to God always and ask for direction. If your husband was a good man and father, then in anyone that you choose, be sure not to give them less than their father was. But for now look for your own financial stability. A woman with money is undefeated.
Why will you even want to be married again with all the kids you have and all the kids bright has? Isn't the burden too much to bear?
ReplyDeleteWill your business and his salary be able to support 8 children plus other family members expenses? If the answer is no, please abort the relationship with him.
ReplyDeleteSo you deh ask this question as how!
ReplyDelete