DOGS Corner

Interesting story!!!

Since it is snake season, let me gist you about one of the most interesting personalities I've ever met. Not that he has achieved anything of note, record or renown but because of his very distinct personality. His name is Adra and yes that is his real name.

Adra is a graduate of some of Nigeria's most prestigious prisons. Coming out with flying colours. He could regale you with tales of his sojourn in the Nigerian prison system in such a way that you'd wish you got locked up sometime. Adra graduated Magna cum laude from port Harcourt prisons and has gone on sabbatical to other prisons in Nigeria.

When they say poverty hardens a man, you won't fully grasp what that means until you meet Adra. His years and the toll it has taken on him is etched across his hardened face. His calloused hands put sandpaper to shame. Life hasn't treated Adra kindly. Not that he cares. He can sell anything, is engaged in multiple businesses and cooks very delicious delicacies (this part is very important).

Adra is a father of 6 kids, the oldest a graduate and he is a husband to a wife very much resigned to her fate. He is fiercely possessive of his family though and does all he can to live up to the expectation of being a father and in a way, I think he tries.

Adra has no ethics nor abides by any etiquettes, he has no morals and I'm not sure he and his conscience have been in the same room since Buhari bundled Dasuki into a crate and shipped him from London. Adra only has rules and boy does he live by them. Violate any of his rules and he will lay down his version of the law. Adra believes in deals. Don't just make a mistake of double crossing him.

Where do I start?

 One time at our local watering hole, Adra came greeting. He is very respectful I'll give him that and he went round prostrating and greeting everyone on our table. Liquor doing what liquor does, one of us, a manager with an old generation bank, asked Adra to pull up a seat and drink as much as he could handle. On the bankers bill of course. 

Adra didn't need a second invitation. Before long, he'd taken 6 bottles of big stout. Somehow, the banker forgot to pay for Adra's drinks and left. 

The staff started harassing him but he assured them that the banker must have forgotten but he'd pay when next he came around. Well, a week later, that bill was still unpaid and finding the harassment too much, Adra paid because the banker claimed he had no recollection of the order. 

We thought the matter was resolved. How wrong we were.

Less than a week later, the banker's dog got missing. Adra heard about it and took it upon himself to organise a search party. An effort in futility. The banker gave him some money for his efforts. 

Days later, Adra was spotted hawking well prepared dog meat, I mentioned he is a great cook remember? He walked to our table but noticing that the banker wasn't around, he shuffled off. When he saw the banker drive in and take his seat on our table, Adra walked up and put up such a well rehearsed sales speech that before long, orders were flying. But he seemed very intent on just one client. 

The banker.
He was very generous with the meat servings to the banker and he was all too inclined to order more. After going round to collect his money from everyone, Adra popped a stout, strolled leisurely to our table and sat down. I wouldn't have believed the next line of words that left his mouth, if I wasn't right there. He turned to the banker.

"Kelechi, that your dog wey you dey find, na the bone dey your mouth so."
The table froze.

Nonplussed, Adra reached into the container he had packaged the meat in and brought out one of the last remaining pieces. He proceeded to gnaw down on it. I don't know if the next move Kelechi made was something Adra anticipated because as Kelechi stood up and swung his massive frame to give Adra a blow, Adra countered by using a short knife to block the blow. The whole knife sank into Kelechi's fingers. Adra wanted to follow up with another but was restrained.

 The soulless smile of utter satisfaction on his face was enough to get Kelechi to back down. Without a word, hand dripping with blood by his side, he went to his car and drove off. A short while later, the police drove in and Adra was arrested and taken to the station.

It wasn’t long and Adra was out. Bailed by the same bank manager with charges dropped. 

Less than a month later, Adra got himself a farming gig. He was to help a client prepare heaps for planting cassava which he did but somewhere along the line when time for payment came, disagreement set in. We all thought the matter was resolved in the best interest of both parties until the most shocking turn of events months later.

 With his ruthless unforgiving trait, Adra waited patiently for harvest time to arrive, arranged for buyers for the cassava and sold everything on that farm. Eye witnesses said he was so confident he wouldn’t be caught that he was present at the farm to make sure the cassava was well loaded before leaving. 

By happenstance, the truck broke down on the farm and couldn’t leave right away. That was the only thing that made the owner of the farm even catch them. By the time the matter got to the police, they burst out laughing. 

A call was placed to Adra and he was in far away Port-Harcourt. He didn’t deny bringing people to buy goods that weren’t his. He told the police to give him a few days to get another buyer and he did. He sold the cassava for a higher price than what the original owner planned to sell, paid off the first buyers in full and negotiated a huge commission from the actual owner of the cassava.

But that money wasn’t going to last for long. Adra was back to square one in no time until he hit a new hustle. Adra stumbled on a pair of snakes and before the snakes knew what hit them, they were in a pot of peppersoup. 

By 6pm that evening, Adra had sold off the whole thing and that’s how his wife’s snake meat business was born. It turns out that a good number of people eat snake meat with relish. That business afforded Adra and his wife the opportunity to turn their lives and family fortunes around. What the law and prison could not do, snakes have done. Adra goes around with an air of purpose now. A man who has finally come into his own. But behind those hardened eyes, lies a venomous personality. One that can strike like a snake when provoked.