Hmmmm....
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
ADVICE NEEDED
Someone i Met that has a very serious girlfriend is asking me out and telling me that i am the one that he wants to marry.....In fact he says there will be no intimate contact until after the marriage......
The toasting is so serious that my strong mind has melted.
Please note that he does not live in Nigeria so i dont know much about him except what he tells me and my sum up from the people and things around him .
We met during the detty December period 2 years ago in a village party and the minute he sighted me, he came over to tell me that he has found his wife.........I laughed because it sounded like a familiar pickup line.
He ended up staying a week longer in Nigeria cos he said he wanted to know me better.When we saw in Lagos,we only met in Restaurants with whoever he was with and with whoever i was with while his serious girlfriend waited at home cooking and entertaining visitors....poor her....LOL
We have done the tests and we are a good match......
He talks to all my siblings cos I am the last and he wants to come home for Easter to meet my parents with his parents.....I am just wondering what she did wrong that he is not marrying her....She is not my friend and i feel bad for her but i feel like i have found my husband .....
Like i said the toasting is intense.hot.romantic.consuming.comes with gifts as well.
He says he will look for a way to tell her that he wants to move on and wont let her its cos of a girl so she doesnt feel hurt and broken....
I have seen her photos and she is so beautiful but for him he says its not about beauty......I am not a stunner like her but i try.
I want him to tell her that its cos he found me and tell her what she did wrong so that she wont miss it again with another guy.....He says my way will break her and i feel lying to her wont be good cos if he wants to marry me as soon as possible, wont she know?
Which one of us is right?
I forgot to add that when he comes for Easter, we will travel back together as his gift to me and he says he has booked a hotel accomodation in the city center for me so that we dont stay together and get intimate cos he wants to keep to his promise not to touch me yet.....Is he hiding something?Maybe his something is small?
We have birthdays on the same month and he wants us to marry on my Birthday soon.....
Please read though and give me advice........I want to know what you think cos my big sisters are too excited that i got a good catch and already planning aso ebi and all...
I used to be really irritated hearing aman left his serious girlfriend to marry someone else and look at me now.
We both tick all the boxes and have agreed to work on the differences.....
Stella this man is intense and says he has never wanted to get married so bad and i believe him.....everything feels too good to be true.
This felt like reading a diary...
Abeg go for it my dear...go for it!...Even if his something is small, wetin you wan use big one do? A man who makes you feel this good is everything...You sound like you are in love with a man who is in love with you...
If una travel, engage am for corner and rub everywhere with hand.
Nothing concern you and the other lady, let him sort out his mess himself oh.
Keep us updated
Poor her...LOL. Really? 😡. He doesn't want to marry her, but he is still dating her, and probably knacking. Una 2 no serious.
ReplyDeleteHe's obviously a cheat.
DeletePoster, I feel sorry for you. I am a guy and had same butterfly in my stomach for so many girls, at first sight. After a while (a month or two), I book a weekend get away outside Nigeria (West African coast or SA) for the first time together - promising not to touch them until marriage. But we end up knacking during the get away, after so much begging and crying by me😁Unfortunately after that get away and knacking, the love or lust quickly disappears and I stand looking for excuses during that get away about her hygiene or behaviour or mannerisms to justify the dwindled desires of her. God help me. So poster dont think you have won a trophy - it is lust he has for you.
DeleteThe guy lacks integrity so whether he marries you or not (I think he will marry the other girl - I've been in this kind of situation before) he is not a catch. He is cheating on her with you today, even if you end up together, he will cheat on you with someone else tomorrow.
DeleteHmmmm!
ReplyDeleteI wont be surprised if this man doesn't end up marrying you, he will be so nice that you will offer yourself voluntarily and afterwards he will show himself.
That serious girlfriend could be his wife.
Check his back ground well.
All the best.
Poster please can you let us know the reason he doesn't want to marry her..so we can learn
ReplyDeleteWhat kind of advice are you seeking from us strangers? Only God knows what tomorrow will bring, so it’s better you ask God for the advice you seek. Just remember that this man has shown you who he is, so believe him.
ReplyDeleteYou’re wise
Deletevery wise
DeleteHe’s really showed who he is. When he met you 2 yrs ago why not break things off with her since then so she can move on. You guys want her to find out about your marriage on SM. Una go reap any seeds sown either good or bad.
DeleteExactly!
DeleteMy sister, RUNNNNN!!!
DeleteWhat he does to one, he'll do to another. You are not special nne.
If he was a decent man, he'd have broken things off with her when he started coming after yiu and yiu were giving him face. He'll do worse to you.
My ex left a lady to be with me, although they weren't serious and he claimed he suspected her cheating. I had no idea until after we started dating and she had no idea they were done. I made him go meet her, explain things to her and apologize. Guess what he did to me? Hel-oh-hel.
Your own will be worse and even more painful if you don't do the right thing. Nne, bounce. I take God beg you.
Hum.pls find out more about the girl and him.
ReplyDeleteAll the best to you, I don't know what to say, he might be your destiny husband, but please if his thing is small, don't cheat on him, manage it like that and don't ruin your marriage if you later marry him, nobody has it all.
ReplyDeleteNo be man write this to shame women?
ReplyDeleteThe man has a steady live in lover?
Man wey cheat on live-in lover no go cheat on wife?
Oh I forgot.
There is no physical.
So it is not cheating.
On top, she is considerate enough on how the live-in lover is told to go.
See how the chronicle is spun?
Always a master class here especially when the poster is on to no good.
Learned a new one today.
A man can have two women on relationship.
So long as there is no Xs with one of them, it is not cheating.
How many of us learned this too.
Abi una all know this already.
LOL
You’re very young and naive …
ReplyDeleteOh if I had seen this, I wouldn't have typed my comment.
DeleteVery naive.
Ikwakwakwakwa.
ReplyDeletePremium tears loading.
Update us when it happen.
Why is he leaving his girlfriend in the first place? If someone is capable of leaving someone for another person, they can certainly repeat the cycle. If everything seems perfect with his girlfriend and no major issues are apparent, yet he is still moving on, it's likely he'll do the same with you.
ReplyDeleteDid his girlfriend treat him with love and respect? If so, no matter how loving and respectful you are, if he loses interest or finds someone else, he might leave you too.
I feel so sorry for the girlfriend. Poor hopeful, serious girlfriend.
Will leave her, not might. This one is demon
DeleteIt doesn't sit well with me at all that he has a serious girlfriend, but planning marriage with another at her back. Why not end it first with her, settle her if that could help her in moving on before devoting his attention to you? If it were my sister that is treated that badly, honestly, I won't be happy. Tell him to forget his love for you now and tell his serious girlfriend that he has changed his mind concerning marrying her. Also, settle her big to her something she can hold onto for physical needs. Then, after all these, he can come back to you and you can continue. Put yourself in the serious girlfriend's shoe, and you will see the anomaly in this your kind of love and marriage. If he doesn't see anything wrong with his actions, it is people around him (like you), who should open his eyes for him to walk on the right path.
ReplyDeleteI find it very strange that you're a man. You don't sound like a Nigerian man and I believe you're a woman using a male sobriquet for whatever purpose.
DeleteOne reaps what one sows.
ReplyDeleteHmm, Insyd lyf.
ReplyDeleteDid I not just say they don't value the ones that suffered with them? None enjoy your life. Don't reject any gift. Lolo odogwu ka ibu. Let the other one stay there and be bounding yam and fufu entertaining visitors. They don't appreciate the one that even prayed for them to travel overseas except they have first invested in her. ( Typical example of what my former colleague suffered)It's the one that doesn't know about much he suffered for his visa to be approved
ReplyDeleteYou have written some deep words. He plans to leave her and not even settle her 1 million to help start over and he will go pay bride price on a new one’s head. Lord have mercy. It is wicked, very wicked.
DeleteThis live-in thing is a great illusion and time waster. It only works in jurisdictions where common-law unions are recognized and legally protected. Legal wives barely have good legal rights in Nigeria, I doubt common-law unions carry any. What a world
Women and dumb brain🤝
ReplyDelete1. Just stay abroad and make sure u let her know
2. Just use sweet words and be consistent and can even throw her mother under the bus for u.
3. Gifts??!! Ah! That’s the magic wand. Give her gifts, more gifts, and just more gifts. U can even steal her kidney in addition to her heart.
4. Promise her marriage. The sky will be ur starting point.
5. If you have a wife or a serious girlfriend, rubbish her in the presence of the new catch, whether with ur words or ur actions, the new babe will feel like she is better than all the women u have ever met and she is there to do what Napoleon has not done before.
Good luck to una, until the day u activate ur thinking faculties, see una see baby mama life, just buckle up!!
It's only mumu men that stay and argue with them when they list all those stupid standards they claimed to have. Just be in the abroad or have small change. They can eat your shit. They will go to any length to please you.
DeleteWhat pains me is they act as if men are stupid, like we can't see the reality. All of us go dey alright..
Future hubby, anytime you want to entertain visitors, you will have to invite your sisters and cousins over. Una kuku know say I am not good in kitchen matters.
ReplyDeleteWhy don't I feel too good about this? Him just leaving his serious girlfriend without feelings..
ReplyDeletePls I beg you dear Poster, don't rush. Marriage is for a lifetime.
May this come out good for you, amen.
Your partner has a weak character and appears to be a wicked man. He met you two years ago and has continued to lead on another woman, giving her the impression he would marry her, while stringing her along, YET, this is the man you are excited about, and eager to marry.
ReplyDeleteDon't be surprised if he abandons you in future. He doesn't want to sleep with you, but he is SLEEPING with her.
He doesn't want to marry her, but he kept her caged for 2 years.
This is the problem with women. You have seen the callousness of this man, yet you want to marry him, tomorrow when he abandons you, you will CRY. He has actively decieved another woman, and you think you are the Saint, the BETTER WOMAN in this while rubbish. Sorry ohhhhhhhhh.
Goodluck with your marriage I wish you well.
I also don't think you are a good person, you think you are better than her, you think you are doing something good which made you to be chosen, while she has done something bad, that's why you want him to tell her that he is leaving for you.
Sorry, you clearly don't know men. Enjoy your new man, but don't celebrate. The broom that they used for the first wife is waiting waiting you.
God bless you for this comment
DeleteVery mean person..the poster too is mean..see her saying LOL when talking about the guy's girlfriend. They fit each other in my opinion.
DeleteI don't know why this chronicle is annoying me or sounding somehow to me.
ReplyDeleteThe guy knows he won't marry that lady and is still foot dragging about telling her, abi?
He will keep you in the center of the town so he won't knack you, abi?
Your own method of breaking the news will hurt her, abi?
While you both were doing whatever (I can't recall), she was cooking and entertaining guests in his abi na their house and it was funny to you, abi?
I'm sorry, but, I don't know why, I strongly feel something is off.
I hardly ever comment on chronicles but you see this one, it's giving me that vibe I can't place a finger on.
Mind you, I didn't say there ain't guys out there who would GENUINELY make a lady feel this way oh.
Poor her lol? Really? You want him to tell his serious girlfriend about you so she won’t miss it again? You’re not even bothered how easy it was for the man to leave his serious girlfriend at home who was cooking and entertaining visitors at home , to be flirting with you a total stranger he just met? If he goes ahead to marry you, he’ll dump you as he did this one once he gets bored
ReplyDeleteGo for what?
ReplyDeleteThat man won’t dismiss that babe
We are in March, he is coming back in Easter and still hasn’t told her yet?
Lol
Prepare your mind for a polygamous setting
The problem is that you will be at home cooking and sweating while she will be relived of her duties and flex life with your husband apologizing to her about not knowing what came over him with you or his parents forced you on him.
This doesn’t look good
Before you jump ask to see your landing space
He’s not leaving you for that babe he is not leaving that babe for you
If you want make we bet
See you 'LOLing' and providing suggestions on how he should break up with her!!!
ReplyDeleteWhen he is done with you, you will receive a PhD-level thesis on everything you did wrong. Please remember that it will be to your benefit - so that you won't make the same mistakes with the next man! That's if you'll even be sane enough to continue dating and meet someone new!
She sounds like a fool, honestly.
DeleteIkwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwa, you will soon spread your legs like a "Peace sign" I feel pity for you, as in real pity! The way you will be left hanging ehn, to drop your chronicles here will be hard! You are on a loooong trip! Slide away while it's still fresh..
ReplyDeleteKelvin Dat Edo Boi...
I can't wait to read her chronicle, she is nasty
DeleteSomeone that treats someone else badly will still treat you badly only a matter of time.
ReplyDeleteThey deserve each other..the guy is wicked and she can't see it because of abroad and gifts.
DeletePray and follow your convictions my dear. It can go right and it can go wrong. Only the Holy Spirit can reveal who the nan is to you. Don't go rubbing yourself on him to see if his thing works. There are men who will never marry who they slept with, it sounds like he is in that category. Respect yourself and present yourself with dignity.
ReplyDeleteMay God comfort his current girlfriend and replace her lost with a better man.
What is poor her? It is not funny too. That is a lady like you.
ReplyDeleteDo your findings and pray for God to keep guiding you. I wish you well.
I don't know how it's even funny to her!
DeleteHello Poster,
ReplyDeleteIt's obvious you’re drawn to intensity; behaving like someone intelligent enough to see the problem, but currently too flattered to step away from it. His certainty, gifts, and grand plans make you feel chosen in a real sense that has its way of clouding judgement. When someone declares lifelong commitment before ordinary trust is built, it often reflects impulse, not depth.
Just before you say 'I do', look closely at the pattern. He behaves like someone who chases emotional highs while postponing responsibility. He still keeps a woman in the role of partner while privately building a future with you. That is not a small detail; it shows how he handles loyalty and endings. Today she carries the cost. Tomorrow it could be you.
Your own reasoning also deserves honesty. You feel pity for her, yet you remain comfortable with the benefits you derive from the situation. That tension is your conscience asking for clearer ground.
My two cents are simple, though not easy - especially with the excitement you’re clearly wearing. Step back for a moment. Pause the romance. Tell him you will not move forward while he is still attached to someone else. Let him end that relationship openly and respectfully, without excuses or hidden stories.
Then step back and watch. A man’s character appears in how he closes one chapter before starting another. And he may simply be gathering material for his next chapter. The outline is already in his head; new people only supply details to stretch the story.
And remember, even in the fairy tales of Mills and Boon, there is room for critical reasoning. Because the easiest thing to give away without consequence is whatever costs the giver nothing to lose. Words, promises, attention, and to some extent commitment - all cheap when no responsibility follows them dutifully.
He is a red Bill board, your turn is coming
ReplyDeleteHe is yet to break up with her after how many years¿
ReplyDeleteGet to the root and find out the truth, maybe he is using both of you to catch cruise.
Don't be surprised that the lady will still be around even after the wedding.
Funny enough, you are doing nothing wrong,but there must be a season why he's leaving her and he should tell you so you won't make the same mistake..
ReplyDeleteNot all relationship must end in marriage..she will also find someone better..
Its obvious you will learn the hard way. That's my advise for you, btw I'm a dude.
ReplyDeleteMy question is why has he not broken up with the other lady is 2years already, is he inlove with both of you and don't know who to choose?
ReplyDeletePele. The chosen one. It will be like season film for you,very soon. Shior. 🙄🙄🙄
ReplyDeletePlot twist! The girlfriend may be a really good person and deserves a better human. She will heal. Please let your new crush discharge her fast, so you two can be together and have the best time of your life. You deserve each other.
ReplyDeleteA man is love bombing you and you are so impressed??
ReplyDeleteDumb b##ch
Poor you
He met you 2 years ago but he's yet to break up with his serious girlfriend in that 2 years. And you're here shining teeth, please make this make sense abeg.
ReplyDeleteYou're both traveling to the village, right? Why is he booking a hotel for you abi una no get house for village?
Use your tongue to count your teeth o.
Poster we men can be intense yeah! Ask yourself why hes in a rush? Wetin thr other girl do?
ReplyDeleteYou arw ok another girls heart is being broken to make yours happy right?
We dey wait your 3rd Chronicles.
Poster you are naive.. you better dig deeper before anything.. seems your mind is made up,so enjoy while it lasts.
ReplyDeleteThis sounds like infatuation, lust and love bombing. The guy seems to be a narcissist and am so happy for the serious girlfriend because am sure she doesn't know him as you also don't know him well enough since he lives abroad. The bullet the serious girlfriend dodged will hit you big time when you get to the abroad since you're mocking her and feeling you're better than her. For the serious girlfriend, a broken relationship is better than a broken marriage. May God compensate her will a sincere man that will love and appreciate a great qualities. All this cos the guy lives abroad abi. I pity you.
ReplyDeleteWICKED GIRL!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteIMAGINE YOU WERE THE OTHER LADY AND YOUR BOYFRIEND DID THIS TO YOU!!!!!
PUT YOURSELF IN HER SHOES AND PICTURE HOW YOU WOULD FEEL!!!!!
A MAN IS PLANNING SUCH A WICKED, CALLOUS, HEARTLESS THING AGAINST YOUR FELLOW WOMAN ON HER BLIND SIDE AND YOU ARE CO-SIGNING IT AS HIS ACCOMPLICE AND CO-CONSPIRATOR?!!!!!
HAPPY MARRIED LIFE IN ADVANCE BUT KNOW THAT YOU AND YOUR PERFECT MATCH OF A HUSBAND WILL PAY FOR EVERY TEAR THAT WILL FALL FROM HER EYES ON ACCOUNT OF THIS GRAND DECEPTION!!!!!
JUDAS ISCARIOT AND HIS WIFE CRUELLA DE VIL!
WIZARD MARRIES WITCH!
MATCH MADE IN HELL!
MAKE UNA CONTINUE!
LOVEBIRDS 1 & 2
👩❤️💋👨
You are both nasty terrible people and deserve every bit of the devastation coming your way. Jeez
ReplyDeletePoster, I feel so so sorry for you.
ReplyDeleteYou must be very very young and naive.
Oh!! 😮
Unfortunately, you're gonna learn the hard way.
#lovebombing
A man that is actively mistreating his girlfriend (might even be his wife) will definitely mistreat her, she's thinking she's special, meanwhile, she's just the new and shiny thing. Only God knows the treatment he will mete out on the Poster when he comes down from his emotional high, I just hope it won't be more than heartbreak, Poster, do what you have to do but make sure you don't let him make you a babymama.
DeleteNa mumu u be
ReplyDeleteThe broom wey dem take flog the first wife dey wait for you don't worry. Incase you don't know, some open doors leads to prison. Show your family this comment. Their mind is just too small to differentiate between the truth and almost the truth. Nor be only "we are going to be traveling back together." I laugh in Patience Ozokwor voice. Haq haq what? Haq. Dey play.
ReplyDeleteThe serious girlfriend is cooking and entertaining while he is making alternative plans. 🤔 He is a treacherous human being and his family is in on it. You have low self esteem. He is after you for a reason and he has “seen the other girl finish”, nothing is wrong with her. “See finish” may make him unstable in relationships even marriage so good luck.
ReplyDeleteHE IS MARRIED
ReplyDeleteTHE OTHER LADY IS HIS WIFE
HE HAS BN WITH POSTER FOR TWO YEARS AND THE OTHER LADY IS HOME COOKING FOR VISITORS....VISITORS THAT KNOW THAT SHE IS WIFE
IT IS DURUNG THE TRIP THAT HE WILL SLEEP WITH POSTER AND JAPA
@poster, you and your family should read this post 👆 over and over again...💯
Delete