INDECISIVE ABOUT NEW MAN
Guys abeg
One doctor I rejected his advance is coming back
He wants us to be just friends
I remember this now because kissing was a problem I couldn’t kiss him and I couldn’t have anything other than platonic with him
He is been on my case for 4-5 years
Advise me
He is coming next week
I’m still not attracted to him but he extends structure my way
Not money like that because I run three businesses and I’m not in lack but he brings that masculine draft into my non masculine life
I’m separated though
He wants to be around till old age ( Upeh)
I have no interest in any relationship that’s sxxual for any reason
Married right off school married for 21 years two kids met him at 18
For the first time I have freedom
I don’t want any inhibitions
Is it possible I’m missing a good man or should I ignore and focus on my life
I want to travel and have fun.
Ladies please step forward and guide your girl
Because if I put hand inside this thing
This man go wan hold person down
Guys you fit put mouth but abeg no bash me
I never Gbensh since, I no bi bad person, I no Dey do anything bad
I just wan peace...
He wants us to be just friends
I remember this now because kissing was a problem I couldn’t kiss him and I couldn’t have anything other than platonic with him
He is been on my case for 4-5 years
Advise me
He is coming next week
I’m still not attracted to him but he extends structure my way
Not money like that because I run three businesses and I’m not in lack but he brings that masculine draft into my non masculine life
I’m separated though
He wants to be around till old age ( Upeh)
I have no interest in any relationship that’s sxxual for any reason
Married right off school married for 21 years two kids met him at 18
For the first time I have freedom
I don’t want any inhibitions
Is it possible I’m missing a good man or should I ignore and focus on my life
I want to travel and have fun.
Ladies please step forward and guide your girl
Because if I put hand inside this thing
This man go wan hold person down
Guys you fit put mouth but abeg no bash me
I never Gbensh since, I no bi bad person, I no Dey do anything bad
I just wan peace...
If you start what you cant finish or dont want, it might not be good....If you are not interested, please dont start cause he will definitely tie you down and you want to be free and travel according to you....
Make i give you bad advice?LMAO!!!.............Since you never gbensh since, test the waters naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa *WINK*
Stay on your lane. You've been there done that.
ReplyDeleteYes we are all young at heart, no matter our age, however after 21whole years of marriage, and with two kids whom I believe should be teenagers in the 18 or 19yrs, poster you are not meant to be indecisive. Infact you are not permitted to be. You can't throw away wisdom acquired over 2 decades acting like a novice. Yes you married at 18, a child yourself, but life has matured you, please act accordingly. And give urself the fun and travels you desire, without this momentarily teenage like "naveity" u want to use and bring confusion for yourself. Someone you can't kiss, is that not enough confirmation for you? Even your own body is rejecting his advances. Face your front and mind your kids.
DeleteSo let's see what we have here.
ReplyDeleteFirst marriage didn't really work out and the poster wants to enjoy her freedom and doesn't want anything complicated for now. With grown kids, that's a commendable decision.
Since the doctor provides some form of "structure", whatever the poster means by that, I think she can entertain the doctors advances while at the same time letting him know she doesn't want to rush anything for now. I think that's only fair.
Don't listen to the second part of Stella's red pen. Sxx will blind and affect your judgement. But if you want to have a fling, why not?
You have peace and stability in your life already. What will getting into a relationship or marriage add to you that you do not already have? If companionship, spiritual connectedness, financial stability, and joy are things you already feel within your being then marriage may not be beneficial to you, it may even slow you down, as you will now have to conform your life to someone else’s. Perhaps these are the things you need to let him know, so he doesn’t waste another 4-5 years of his life knocking on a locked door. May God guide you in wisdom.
ReplyDeleteYou can keep him as a friend and see how far it goes. Since you mentioned you like the masculine presence.
ReplyDeleteBut let him know your thoughts. So that he will know you ain't offering more than friendship .
Btw opposite genders can be good friends without strings attached
Poster no. I was in a situation like this and ended up agreeing, but right now it's the biggest mistake of my life.
ReplyDeleteYou are not greedy, but it appears so. You know that type of greed - You forbid a type of meat but you use your teeth to divide it for your two best friends because you like the soup the meat was cooked in. Then you lick your lips.
ReplyDeleteThere is a way you tell a man No. And he stops. There is away you tell a man No. And he pursues harder especially when you use his structure and man presence for whatever you are using it for. It is your use of the man that makes it appear you are a GREEDY and USER woman. I am not saying so oOO!
Please do not bring chronicles that he ... without consent or ran after he ...with consent.
Are you ok?.
Delete18:57 You are not ok.
Deleteno bad feelings if you decide to keep him as a friend for the main time, friends no emotions attach and make sure you let him know that you both are just friends and nothing more. Since you want freedom, the freedom you have and still asking for stress, stay your lane and mind your business if you don't want stress.
ReplyDeleteWhat do you need a man for?
ReplyDeleteBefore you know it those 3 businesses of yours will crumble.
Nigerian man no dey like see woman wey successful that he cannot control.
He will find one way to diminish you.
If he can't diminish you, he will run to podcast and dribble snot while painting you in a light that is really nobody's business.
You will need to stay on your toes feeding his ego, you done feed your own ego belle full first?
You are are not 24 and desperate. You should be about 40+.
This is the time for rest and relaxation not chaos and calamity.
Better face your life before you use your hand destroy it.
Fling and keep moving, Poster🚶🏻...
ReplyDeleteI don't see why you both can't be friends; but you need to make him understand that he has been friend zoned so that he doesn't keep hoping to date you.
ReplyDeleteSometimes you could just encourage him to look for a nice lady to date so that he knows that you are truly serious about being just friends.
I would have said it's your success that is attracting him but he has wooed you before 😊
ReplyDeleteMaybe he just likes you. Imagine after all these years...
Why not give him a chance to be friends with you. You never can tell, it may be the best relationship you ever had 💕 All the best dear.
I would my prioritize my peace of mind and happiness first, I would travel and see the world on my on terms, I mean what's the rush. Now this is me, You should do you. Remember peace of mind is key.
ReplyDeleteGo for it
ReplyDeleteIf he tries to tie you down, just slowly waka
Your mind likes him small so I think you should try
I sense your previous marriage experience has built some fear in you which is normal for every human to feel that.
ReplyDeleteIf you are open to counselling, speak to a professional about it, fears and expeeiences from the past have a way of caging people.
Your concerns are valid but what if he's genuine, why allow your past to cheat your future of love and companion, take it a day after the other, you aren't too old to be love and cared for if it comes in a good package.
There's a video on Morayo Afolabi's page YouTube that talked about "God doesn't hate divorce", the couples talked about how they found each other after their first marriage ended, they woman is also high end if your fear is about being caged. Check Pastor Fenwa video on Morayo's page.
It's common in Africa to ask what you need marriage for when you have money and children already because the reason marry at first is not for companion just to breed and seek financial security.
Poster, in summary open up to be loved.
Felicity
Since you've been married before, you've been there done that. No need to rush into anything. Give him a chance. If it doesn't work out, you move. Not a big deal
ReplyDeleteReceive gbeshing and be ok
ReplyDelete