STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
WEDDING CALLED OFF DUE TO DEBTS
Honestly, I'm very sad with the kind of humans we have, some think in a very bad and emotional way.
WEDDING CALLED OFF DUE TO DEBTS
Honestly, I'm very sad with the kind of humans we have, some think in a very bad and emotional way.
I'm dating the lady i wanted to marry for about 4 years now, we met in church and have been together for that long period and we have had several discussions concerning our future which I've been comfortable with, but i am in total shock and calling off the wedding because I found out that the lady I wanted to marry is in debt of millions to a cooperative bank.
The way I found out is a shocking story for another day.
I can't go into a marriage where my wife to be is a heavy and chronic debtor and still kept it a secret. Well, even if she had told me earlier, I would have backed out because how will I start life with 6M debt for a business that isn't thriving?.
Now two people were detailed to me from her family and the church marriage committee where we were discussing, and they were indirectly and seriously supporting the lady, saying I never loved her and was only pretending, else l would carry on with the marriage.
I was shocked, still shocked and losing my mind.
The wedding was supposed to be in June. Just imagine the mess I'm in and the money spent so far...
It is wrong for her to have kept that from you...In fact it is a red flag and she was probably marrying you to use you to repay the loan....
Debt from one spouse kills love...If you are certain that you cannot marry her cos of the igbese hanging on her head, please call it off cos wetin be this? starting marital life with igbese wey no be your own?nah!
Make i give you bad advice? Gbensh small before you waka ooooooooooooooo
Lmao. Watin be this?
ReplyDeleteHow long has this debt been hanging on her head?
Did you ask her what plans she has on how to pay her debt?
I can't blame you poster.
DeleteIt's not even advisable to marry anyone who is in debts. That's why it is usually one of the questions asked by intending partners while dating. You did nothing wrong and if she left you too for that or gambling I would have applauded her too.
ReplyDeleteYou dated for 4 years? Hope you guys fled from fornication and everything that comes with it as believed tho.
Please don’t mind the gaslighting from those flying monkeys. 6m ke? If you proceed with this marriage, you will use all your life to pay debt because she will be incurring new debt every month
ReplyDeleteOh dear..
ReplyDeletePlease do not go into that marriage,don't let anyone overwhelmed you into such..
You're not wrong.
ReplyDelete6m debt in this economy?
ReplyDeleteAnd you just stated the business isn't thriving. Since you don't want to carry the burden, do as you wish inugo... But if you later change your mind, ask her if she has a plan to offset first. You guys can cancel reception or too much wedding paparazzi and use the money to offset 😂
Anyways, It's like it's becoming a norm in Nigeria to borrow money for businesses to thrive this period though. Production company give out to collect money later, wholesalers buy on credit or use loan app, some pharmacies are borrowing to stock goods. God help us ooo
This is serious
ReplyDeleteVery Serious ooo
DeleteAahh
ReplyDelete
ReplyDelete"You knew her business wasn't thriving. You saw her spending and fell in love with her extravagant lifestyle without asking her where the money was coming from. In your mind, you believed she had it. Now you wan run.🙄
Don't mind the opportunistic human being. And he must have eaten from the proceeds of the loan. Belle go turn am eh.
DeleteThis thing you typed, does it even make sense to you?
DeleteIt's a red flag. Think about it.
ReplyDeleteI do not think debt is an indicator that a person is bad or careless. If she took the loan out to finance a business that is failing then that is unfortunate. Many businesses fail all the time for any number of reasons. Please do not measure the debt as some flaw in character or she is bad, because life can happen to anyone unknowingly. Nobody goes into business hoping to fail.
ReplyDeleteYes, she should have told you about the debt but she probably feared the outcome that she is experiencing right now. Many ppl have bounced back from debt and bankruptcy. I always talk about Simon Cowell whose business failed and crashed and he had to move back home with his mother in his 30s. He did not give up and is today worth hundreds of millions. Even Viola Davis has talked about her bad credit when she first started dating her husband and all he told her was that she could use his credit. They have since clocked many years together and are both successful. A failed business is not the end of anyone and neither is debt the end. Could you have done more instead of jumping ship at the first sign of rockiness, absolutely. Even marriages that start smoothly with no hiccups can fall into turbulent waters, what would you do then?
I’m not trying to force you to stay because we all know our tolerances and what we can deal with but I do not believe that you truly loved her. Love is fierce and can stand up and fight. Love will seek solutions, knock on doors, seek answers. Love does not run and hide leaving the so-called lover in the storm. You could have made an attempt to help and still walked away, but you offered nothing, not even encouraging words. Not even a prayer to God to intervene on her issue. Did you even fast on her issue for a day? What kind of church are you two attending? Pastor didn’t even call you for intercession. So many fake churches full of fakes from the pulpit to the pews.
May you find what you seek and are what you are able to live with and I hope your ex finds success and a person who loves her no matter what her history is. I really hope she bounces back from the failed business and now a failed union. I hope God strengthens her and open His storehouse of blessings on her and give her peace in the storms of life.
Akuko!
DeleteYou haven’t seen debt.
She should sort herself out before entangling herself into marriage
Or better still, tell your significant other
17:08 a million likes. I love you (agape love) already
DeleteA very big amen to your prayers for her. I pray she bounce back in a way that he will not be able to stand her presence.
Delete18:31, his azz never truly wanted her. After four years he found the perfect excuse that he was seeking to find. Couldn’t even encourage her in any way. Just ran for the hills.
DeleteBefore my husband and I got married, we spoke about our finances and he told me he had medical and student loans. We saved up money together in 2 years and paid off the debts before we got married.
DeleteI told him we would have a small and private wedding so as to save cost, so we had our civil wedding on a Monday. Money meant for a big wedding went to settling our debts. I am happy that I did not allow that to come between us. He has been an amazing husband.
Guy your decision is fine, don't allow anyone guilt trip into bad decisions.
ReplyDeleteDead on arrival !
ReplyDeleteSee you,see LAPO and others become your consultant guest. Let her sort out her debt as marriage expenses will even make her incur more debts.
ReplyDeleteDon't let yourself be gaslighted into marrying a serial debtor. The consequences is far beyond the 6M debt.
ReplyDeleteBeing a serial debtor is as same as being addicted to drugs, betting etc.
Help her to clear the debt.You sound like you don't love her enough.
ReplyDeleteWill you give a woman the same advice in the same circumstance?
DeleteLol. He should help her clear a debt of 6m that he didn't incur, and she hasn't even had the decency of telling him till date.
DeleteYou people will just be giving weird advice because it's your gender
Everyone will feel hurt especially if it was kept from them as you’ve stated. She should have been able to confide in you having known you for soo long, maybe shame of being judged or just thinking she could clear it without having to let you know. Whatever the case talk to her to understand her motives for keeping it from you and her plan for recovery.
ReplyDeleteShe may just have fallen into an unfortunate situation due to the economy. You also want to be sure she can manage money as both of you will be pooling resources together.
If you can work it out set a payment plan and cut down on some of her wedding demands to pay back some loans.
Above all show grace, you never know how your fortunes may turn out in the near future. Look at all angles don’t turn back now bc of this situation.
Sincerely this is the best comment so far.. BUT....
DeleteYou’re overreacting
ReplyDelete4 years now you want to embarrass someone you claim to love
Na loan she no kill person
Are they asking you to pay
You want to dump a church girl two months before her wedding and you say you loved her
"A church girl" and so F what? If it's the other way round am sure you Won't hesitate to type "men this, men that"
DeleteAfter four long years. He never loved her and was waiting to see if anyone better comes along and now found the perfect excuse to run. He couldn’t even set up 1 all night vigil or 3 weeks fasting on the matter then call themselves church ppl. Fake Christians and their fake beliefs thinking they sweet when they stink to high heavens. He didn’t even give God a chance to intercede and show his power and might. Sprinter run gone. Boy man couldn’t even find one mustard seed to hold in faith.
DeleteIt’s not that he called it off that annoys me, is that he didn’t even try, he didn’t even pray for wisdom.
Na me…the church girl part is to say he knows he publicly associated with her
DeleteWhat happens when he dumps her
How was she planning to pay after getting married? With your money? Don't allow anyone one to guilt trip you. If she loved you enough and trusted, she would have opened up earlier. Do not mind what they are saying
ReplyDeleteWell said
DeleteIt’s not his debt
Delete@Poster You’re right to be concerned, but don’t rush the decision. The main issue isn’t just the ₦6M debt, it’s that she hid it. That raises trust concerns.
ReplyDeleteHowever, before calling off the wedding completely:
-Get the full details of the debt
-Ask for a clear repayment plan
-See if she’s being honest and accountable
If there’s still secrecy or no solid plan, walking away is valid. If she’s transparent and has a plan, then decide calmly, not out of shock or pressure.
If she had told you earlier it would have been better . Please continue to run and don't listen to anyone. If she could hide this I bet you there are other things she is not disclosing yet. Inukwa 6m ke
ReplyDeleteSome of you mind others business too much
DeleteWhy is she supposed to tell boyfriend about her loans for business
If you tell some, until they finish that loan they won’t sleep
My boss run . U are not World Bank
ReplyDeleteI am a woman and i support your decision guy. And it is not from a position of being judgemental. Debt is a spirit and it takes a lot of divine intervention to break free from it. Please.dont go ahead with that marriage until the debt is paid off. I am presently indebted myself and it has not been a pleasant journey.
ReplyDeletelol I have debt and I need no intervention
DeleteOga don't break up..postpone it till the debt's been paid..no be wetin naija dey talk now person go risk such plus she get mind o..to fit hide such..where is the love? Stellz dis ur bad advice go let am give d babe bele o..final whistle.. 😙 😆🤣
ReplyDeleteFunnily, she may have taken those loans to impress you into believing that she's financially stable as a wife material but now her case is churchiling to blurry site😁. Those days when you used to cheer her up as a hardworking business woman. When the business wasn't going well, you encouraged her to keep pushing, that she would get there someday. Then she goes to take another loan , bought new goods, and you got excited and said'😄I told you, don't loose faith, your business will thrive.......... Never your overdo to impress anybody.
ReplyDeleteGood decision you made, when I was dating my husband, I didn't know he usually borrows money. While preparing for the wedding, I made it clear we won't beg anyone for money or borrow, so we started saving and he was in charge. Few days to the wedding, I found out about one money he didn't tell me about and aIso realized he chatted his Ex for financial support. I went through his chat and was angry, why would he even chat or beg anyone for money, after we had an agreement not to now talk of his ex who left him, I called off the wedding and he pleaded that he would be open financially. I forgave him and after the wedding I found out that he is not financially transparent, he borrows from his bank and loan apps without informing me, as I speak he owes millions but he doesn't know I know. I snooped and found out via his bank app and the other app he borrowed from.
ReplyDeleteIf your fiancee is not financially transparent with you, the chances of her changing after marriage is slim. From my experience, you made a good decision to call off the wedding.
Financial transparency or openness is Key in any union. You both are able to plan with one mind.
Clear which debts? The one he is not aware of or was never involved in the spending? Abeg free the man.
ReplyDeletePoster run for your life.
Consistent borrowing is a very terrible behavior and it will land your family in trouble in the long run. Love is not enough to marry someone with this bad habit. Take a walk
ReplyDelete