One of the funniest things to me is a married man who can’t stay faithful to his wife but at the same time lacks the composure and tact to handle issues when his action bears fruit....
I call him Kayslim.
Young man of 36, a rich farmer and successful by every parameter of the word. He’s built his house, has a car worth 25 million, currently building a 20 room hotel, had a business turnover of over 200 million last year and is really doing well for himself.
He is married and his wife just gave birth a few weeks ago. Kayslim carries himself with such an aura and assurance that his presence is unmistakable. Since we met, we’ve spent most of our evenings together. I’ve taken a keen interest in cassava business and he is showing me the ropes. He says I’m a great conversationalist and actively seeks me out so we can exchange ideas.
Kayslim is a sharp goal getter, goal driven and committed to whatever he sets his mind on achieving. Naturally, he has ladies flocking around him. And there lies the problem. He likes women a lot.
Faithfulness isn’t something that has crossed his mind. If it ever did, probably as more of an irritating thought.
So there I was earlier last month trying to wrap up work on the laptop for the day. I was at our local watering hole alone as is my custom. His call came in and I sensed the panic in his voice. He asked to meet and I obliged.
So there I was earlier last month trying to wrap up work on the laptop for the day. I was at our local watering hole alone as is my custom. His call came in and I sensed the panic in his voice. He asked to meet and I obliged.
He met me sometime north of 20 minutes. One look at him, I knew all wasn’t well. I allowed him sit and the waiter came to take his order while I proceeded with my work.
I noticed he was sweating profusely even though the weather was breezy. He later let it out that 2 ladies are currently pregnant for him. His family knows the first lady and are aware of his relationship with her. I know her too and have a bit of a soft spot for her. He is Muslim so this isn't too out of place.
I took issues with the second lady.
“Two women say dem get belle for you and na malt and water you dey drink?” I asked before calling the waiter and to bring the strongest drink they had available for him.
See, I’ve really been around the block so I have a fair bit of experience in such matters. Not something I’m necessarily proud of to be honest. But he needed my advice and I was going to oblige him.
“Two women say dem get belle for you and na malt and water you dey drink?” I asked before calling the waiter and to bring the strongest drink they had available for him.
See, I’ve really been around the block so I have a fair bit of experience in such matters. Not something I’m necessarily proud of to be honest. But he needed my advice and I was going to oblige him.
I simply told him to ignore the second lady for now and allow me time to carry out some background checks which I did.
It turns out that the second lady had multiple other guys she was sleeping with. I gathered proof and sent to him. He was shocked.
You are cheating and are shocked you got cheated on?
Naturally, he has denied responsibility for the pregnancy.
The lady is insisting she'll keep it. I have told him to ignore her for now but I made clear my absolute displeasure at his carelessness.
But it is rather sad isn’t it? A man sleeps around without protection and acts surprised and panics when he gets a pregnancy scare? Like what was he expecting?
But it is rather sad isn’t it? A man sleeps around without protection and acts surprised and panics when he gets a pregnancy scare? Like what was he expecting?
As a married man, you can only face some kind of problems when you give them room to arise. Your gbola can’t remain in your pants? Protection is a not your thing? Be ready to bear that cross. Life is complicated enough already. Wives are even more complicated as well.
Why you go wan add side chic wahala for your head? It doesn’t make sense! Sleeping around isn’t the flex most of us think it is. But being who we are as men, it happens and I am not proud to say this. But if it must happen and I maintain there is no justifiable reason for it, using protection is just common sense. Again, I am not an advocate for cheating. But this white wey we dey stain around, when we go tire?
Why you go wan add side chic wahala for your head? It doesn’t make sense! Sleeping around isn’t the flex most of us think it is. But being who we are as men, it happens and I am not proud to say this. But if it must happen and I maintain there is no justifiable reason for it, using protection is just common sense. Again, I am not an advocate for cheating. But this white wey we dey stain around, when we go tire?
This is so hilarious and I don laugh tire........
They aren't even scared of diseases. Pregnancy is the list scary of them all o.
ReplyDeleteCheating is not a flex at all!!!
ReplyDeleteRay j says he has slept with over 2500 abi na 25000 thousand women, I was like this is something to brag about, like this is something to talk about in a public space??
God have mercy
He built a hotel but couldn’t build self control. From cassava business he dey learn, na cassava result he dey harvest overnight. He dey plant everywhere, now rain don fall make he harvest am. From rich farmer to fertile 🍆 farmer. Ohseyyyy 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻
ReplyDeleteYou’re right, how hard is it to wear protection. So many innocent wives have had to face the embarrassment of going to their doctors to treat infections and diseases. Then having to go to the pharmacist to fill the prescriptions. While the doctor and pharmacist are mandated by the ethics that govern their discipline to maintain confidentiality, the receptionist at the doctor’s office and pharmacy assistant is under no such mandate. These innocent women in some cases have had nasty neighbourhood rumours spread about them. Those are not even the worst outcomes. Thousands have died over the years simply because a philandering husband refused to wear condoms at all times. Not even for the health of the wife they claim to love will they do the right thing.
ReplyDeleteHello Doggedity,
ReplyDeleteYour narration today was funny, no doubt. But beneath the humour, something else came through. You didn't just watch your friend - you recognised a pattern you’ve seen before, maybe even in yourself. That’s what makes your writing interesting for me. From experience, you don’t hide where you stand.
Still, there’s a pattern here that’s hard to ignore. Like a lot of men, there’s this habit of treating impulse as if it can’t be helped, then rushing to contain the fallout when things get messy. Should we say they are confused? Because from all indications, it's a choice - one made with a level of carelessness that’s hard to defend eventually.
There's no panic here with Kayslim. He's not afraid of public exposure. He likely believed he could move without consequence. Now the weight of that assumption is shifting onto other people - his wife, who’s just had a child, and these women who now have to fight to be believed.
That’s where it starts to grate. When men land in this position and default to avoidance instead of accountability, it only deepens the damage. Telling him to “ignore” one of the women doesn’t resolve anything, DOGgedity. It only sidesteps responsibility. With the second woman, there’s no certainty about who’s telling the truth, and brushing it off only leaves more harm in its wake.
If someone wants multiple partners, that needs to be a clear, upfront agreement from the start. Not hinted at, not assumed - agreed. And even then, it comes with real costs - social, financial, emotional. On the other hand, if what you want is a stable home, then fidelity isn’t optional. It’s the baseline.
At some point, there has to be a shift. We should stop cushioning people from the outcomes of their own choices. Self-restraint should be the order where it’s still possible.
And where things have already gone wrong, the next steps should be straightforward: confirm paternity, face the party involved directly, be honest with your partner, and take responsibility for whatever follows.
Kudos.
The reason why I told him to ignore her was that I found out that the manager of the spot we meet up in passes the girl around to clients who find her attractive. She looks like a very decent girl so hearing that came as a bit of a shock. That's the kind of girl he slept with without protection. That level of carelessness is horrifying.
DeleteYou mean people are making headway in this Tinubu economy? I thought those complaining are hungry like Amaechi. Say it ain't so.
ReplyDelete