Nollywood filmmaker Chinney Love who recently lost her mother has expressed frustration, anger and exhaustion in organising burials in Igboland …..
She posted
''I am sick, frustrated, angry, tired and just generally fed up!
Why do people just try to make things hard for you during burial a very vulnerable time of your life when you are still grieving?
It’s like they wait for burial to wanna flex muscle and power… it’s exhausting and draining..
Very soon people would stop taking their parents body to the village because what is all this stress…
I honestly can’t wait for all this phase to be over!''
Absolutely true in Igbo land. Dunno if to call it wickedness. When someone is grieving thats when they choose to flex all their power. Pay this, pay that bring this n that. Na we dey kuku kill ourselves.
ReplyDeleteHahaha, it's the culture na, umunna and umuada must collect their rites, even the youths are not excluded, to dig ground nko, you must pay, even to shoot the gun when the body is being brought for burial, ego must drop.
DeletePele dear, take heart it's the culture.
Bv God's Favor
Culture shouldnt be torture, My dear. I pray all those nonsense die with time.
Delete@ God's favor, you know a lot.
Delete@NN sis, my estranged husband is an Igbo man, 15years is enough for me to know about the culture.
DeleteWhat I don't understand is that if someone is not a family member of the deceased and I mean spouse and children before the deceased parents and siblings. What is the business of strangers in the matters of someone else's burial they are not related to. I just don't understand how strangers will be calling the shots over someone else's burial. My siblings and I buried both my parents the way we wanted and where I come from we are the only ones that matter and call the shots- no one else.
ReplyDeleteIn Igbo land we are all connected to kins and lineage so it's not just about the immediate family.
DeleteWhen my friend's mother died, her 4 sons, brother and her husband were the ones who removed their jackets and dug their mothers grave. A couple of her sons were crying as they dug their grandmother's grave, everyone at the grave side were very emotional to see her grandsons and son digging her grave. That's how they wanted it and that's what they did. You don't need outsiders to dig your family members grave, the men in the family can dig the grave. The satisfaction they get from sending off their family member that way is priceless.
DeleteShe didn’t lie at all! Almost all our traditions were made to suffocate us!
ReplyDeleteWedding, problem! Burial problem!
This is the type of tradition they expect us to love above the western ones we’ve adopted oh!
Believe me, burial is the absolute worst!!!
DeleteNah Burial Worst Pass
DeleteNah That Time Dey Go Count How Many Times You Done Come Villa ..
Pele Chinney This Sha Pass 🙏
They do this mostly to people that don't always return home, they will bill you eh and hardly show up for the burial, them no send!!!
ReplyDeleteNa tradition o, burial is a expensive unless you want to bury your folks like chicken.
You will pay and pay, during my grandmother's burial, I didn't go cuz I was indisposed but I and my children were billed, I payed and faced front.
Gifty I don't agree with your first line. It's not about who frequently comes home to them, it's all about their pockets and stomachs. They use burial to enrich themselves forgetting that onwu aso ngaoye.
DeleteI perfectly understood what she wrote and honestly this has to stop!!
ReplyDeleteLike, these people don't care about the grieving family all they want is food, meat and drinks. I still haven't recovered from my late brother's burial.
Pele dear..e dey pain..
ReplyDeleteWhat is their business with people that don't always return home?. Why are they poking nose and bothered about people that don't always return home. Don't they have their own families that they will be making list of people that don't always return home. How does that concern them.
ReplyDeleteIf you like travel there every week, they will still stress you with list during burial. They show all manners of wickedness during that moment not minding if you have or not. They don’t care about the family grieving, all they need is what they will take home and eat that day. Our people also enables it trying to outdo themselves to receive praises. Everything about burial is very expensive, placing more burden on the family grieving.
Delete@Gifty, I disagree. This isn’t limited to people who rarely come home; it often falls on families assumed to be financially stable, without any regard for the fact that they simply live within their means.
ReplyDeleteMy cousin and I each buried a parent recently. The costs were heavy. What made it harder was the attitude from people who had no sense of the sacrifices immediate family members made to keep things going before the loss.
At times, even the church - depending on the priest - adds to it. I’ve yet to see a case where the deceased wasn’t said to owe something, even when they had met their religious obligations. It raises questions about the sincerity of the church in such situations.
I haven’t fully recovered, and my cousin is still dealing with his own strain - as a man, society has no patience waiting for things to turn around.
It’s serious. You start to wonder why that same energy wasn’t directed at fully supporting the person while they were alive - rather than showing up only with demands at their demise.
She is very correct.
ReplyDeleteIn Igboland, burial is a big ceremony.
You have to spend heavily.
She have said it all, when we lost our father and went for his burial, that was how village people used us to shine. I know they have pooed everything they demanded, ate or said we will not reduce fee on by now. They need to review those our cultures.
ReplyDeleteNigerians pride in valueless things
ReplyDeleteSo they are made to pay for them.
A woman prides that her bridal list and bride price is longer and bigger than the last in the village
Meanwhile, her husband is near broke from the expenses
When the effect sets into the marriage, she complains about being deceived into marriage.
Nigerian conducts burial ceremonies, go broke, and complain about ancestral poverty stronghold
Or bill friends and keep lifelong enmity with wiser friends who see the folly of their actions and refuse to be a part of it.
There are always alternatives.
But Nigerians are who they are.
Very good showy over vain things people.
Only their leaders are bad.
As if the leaders are not from amongst them.