Hmmmmm....
SERIOUS ADVICE NEEDED
Please I need serious advice.
I have been married for over nine years now, but we only did the introduction and engagement party. Now he wants us to do the white wedding and the registry, but the problem is that he wants me to support him because he knows I have some money now.
Should I go ahead and put my money into the wedding, or should I tell him not to worry about the wedding at all? I cannot imagine using almost five hundred thousand naira for support and then, after the wedding, I will not have money to restock my market.
Should I go ahead and put my money into the wedding, or should I tell him not to worry about the wedding at all? I cannot imagine using almost five hundred thousand naira for support and then, after the wedding, I will not have money to restock my market.
So you cannot add money to your wedding but someones son should pay for all of it?You cnnot buy your wedding dress?
You dont need to have a big party to go to the registry (Registry wedding is the most important of all weddings),just get a date and go with one witness each to sign the dotted lines.......You can go to Church to bless your wedding and do thanksgiving...Nigerians spend too much on weddings and burials and it really always shocks me now after seeing how it can be done without stress here.
You both should stick to a budget you can afford and you sef try to be financiallly involved in it.
Please read SDK's red pen advice and adhere to it
ReplyDeleteHe’s not asking you to pay for the wedding.. he’s asking for support. Normally na only man suppose pay for wedding? Nigerian woman mostly see relationship/marriage as escape from poverty sha
ReplyDeleteHaba madam, pls support your husband financially. Do a low key wedding as Stella has advised, there's no need inviting the whole world.
ReplyDeleteSupport with how much you can.And stock up your shop before then so that it will not affect your business.
ReplyDeleteFollow Stella's advice.
ReplyDeleteAnd what’s your own advice?
DeleteMoomoo
@anon 17:25 Isn't it obvious she shares the same view with Stella on the subject?
DeleteBe realistic, you have been living with this man and probably have children over the 9 years. He wants to legalise the marriage to protect you against future unforseen circumstances. If you have support, even if it's not all the amount he's asking for. Your stance would have worked if he were to wed you from the onset.
ReplyDeleteRestock your market.
ReplyDeleteThis isnt the time to be broke.
LOL
DeleteIt's a normal thing to support your own wedding if your partner can't afford everything, just make sure you don't pay your own Bride Price or be the one to sponsor everything.
ReplyDeleteIn what world does introduction and engagement party translate into a wedding? Or those things have different meanings these days?
ReplyDeleteIf he has paid your bride price then you are already married. The church wedding and the registry thingy is a waste of time as far as I'm concerned.
I find it funny sha that you are getting squeamish about contributing to your own wedding. An idea you most likely brought up.
I will advise you to protect your business first. A wedding is a one day event, but your market restock is what puts food on the table daily. If using N500,000 means you will be unable to restock your market, you risk losing your livelihood. Protect your livelihood, Keep your business running to ensures you and your household can survive daily.
ReplyDeleteA lavish white wedding is optional, but obtaining a legal marriage certificate offers legal protection. You don't need hundreds of thousands of Naira for a registry wedding. Formal legal registration at the Federal Marriage Registry is very affordable. It won't cost you much. You both can find a compromise by scaling down the price. You can simply go to the registry to sign the legal papers and have a small, intimate gathering with close family and your pastor to bless the union, which saves you from incurring substantial party expenses..
Just calm down and have a honest conversation with your husband. Explain exactly how much money you have and why it is tied to restocking your market. Agree to the white wedding, but explain that you need your capital to keep your business running. If he pushes for it, let him know that you can revisit the idea in the future when your business has grown to the point where the cost will not affect it. Or when he is in a better financial position to cover most of the expenses. And yes! You can certainly support him when that moment arrives. but only with a specific fraction of your profit, not your core capital.
No matter the direction this conversation takes, do not compromise your business. Pocket dey cough o. No go enter emergency economizing mode o.
*to ensure
DeleteOne of the problem with marriages these days is that everyone has their own personal agenda. Most people are already thinking about the end from the beginning and trying to protect themselves instead of just living the moment and making sure they have a great relationship. People are too selfish for marriage.. keep your money o.. I can’t get married sha if I come to this world again..
DeletePoster,it's not an abomination to support him if the money is there.but don't empty your account.
ReplyDeleteRestock your shop! Be business savvy! Don’t use all your capital for a one day event and suffer later . Be wise
ReplyDeleteGBAM!
DeleteWhy do you want to leave all the stress on the man/ you too should contribute no matter how little. Since you have 500k you can use 100 to 200k for it while you keep the rest money. Since you people don't have money why not do something little where you will not spend so much. You guys have been married for 9 years so nothing new to go and spend so much.
ReplyDeletePlease no matter what, assist your husband with the whole planning. Do not sit down and allow him spend all the money, do the one you can and face front.
After nine years together, I don't think it's wise to use the money meant for your business just to fund a wedding. A wedding is a one-day event, but your market is what keeps money coming in.
ReplyDeleteIf I were you, I'd tell him, "I'm not against the white wedding or registry, but I can't sacrifice my business capital for it. Let's do something we can both afford without putting ourselves under financial pressure." Choose the registry, invite your inner circle for lunch at your place. Registry is the most legally binding form of marriage. Go for marriage blessing at church, only your pastor and im wife don do to anchor that one and no reception is required.
Celebrate within your means and protect the source of your income.
E be like say you no wan marry him legally
ReplyDeleteIf this man is trying to legalize your marriage is for your own good. I don't see anything bad in supporting him . I will also suggest you do it small.
ReplyDeleteRestock your market
ReplyDeleteWho wedding epp
Stella says do church blessing
Church blessing sef will finish 500k
It’s now that you have 500k that he wants to do wedding. No gree. 500k is just the beginning
Go to court and be done. Don’t even do reception
Surprised he's the one advocating for this.
ReplyDeleteQuick question. If all the money comes from him, would you be willing to go ahead with it?
Also, the money he intend using for it now, is it funds he has no need of?
If he's spending his money, after nine years being married, why wouldn't you want to support an occasion that adds spark and love to YOUR MARRIAGE?
If you have fallen out of love with him and / or not interested in this, please tell son of man so he can use his money for more useful things.
We all know your biz ain't gonna be affected. (You mentioned he knows you have some money.)
Moreover, if you are very satisfied with your status quo. I'm wondering why he's bothering...
You haven't been married o. You better run to the registry with small money and get your certificate. Only a marriage under the act gives you good rights in the event of a divorce.
ReplyDeleteThe traditional marriage doesn't do that
She gats nothing on divorce oh.
DeleteWhat she put in during the marriage is exactly what she gets on divorce oh.
Nothing wrong with contributing. All the best dear
ReplyDeleteIs your husband financially okay?
ReplyDeleteDoes he have properties that would be beneficial to you and the children in the future?
Do you have properties that would benefit him should something goes wrong with you?
I feel something is off here unless of course he is doing better than you financially and otherwise
He brought up the idea of the registry and white wedding(not the other way around) and insists you support him because he knows you have some money.
Is he involving his own money too or all expenses are on you?