Sadly, when the baby was born, the child tested positive as well. Heartbroken and frustrated, the husband decided to end the marriage.
As I read the comments, many people were quick to judge the woman, but I could not help wondering if there was more to her story than what was written.
Sometimes, when people receive a life changing diagnosis like HIV, they do not only struggle with the virus. They struggle with anger, grief, betrayal, denial, fear, and shame. I found myself asking what if she believed her husband was the one who infected her.
If both partners test positive around the same time, it is easy for each person to assume the other brought the virus into the relationship. Without knowing exactly when either person acquired HIV, the truth may not be as obvious as it seems. Yet in moments of pain, assumptions often feel like facts.
Perhaps she was carrying resentment she never expressed. Perhaps every pill reminded her of the life she thought she had lost. Perhaps taking treatment felt, in her mind, like accepting something she was not ready to accept.
None of that excuses refusing treatment during pregnancy, especially when a baby’s health is at stake. ARVs can greatly reduce the risk of mother to child transmission when taken correctly. An innocent child ended up carrying a burden that might have been prevented.
What makes the story so tragic is that HIV was not the only problem in that marriage. There was likely a breakdown of trust, communication, and healing. Anger became stronger than reason. Hurt became stronger than hope.
One of the hardest lessons in life is that when we allow anger to guide our decisions, we often end up hurting ourselves and the people we love most. Whether she was infected by her husband, whether he was infected by her, or whether neither of them truly knew where the virus came from, the person who paid the highest price was the child.
Sometimes healing begins when we stop asking who to blame and start asking what we can do from this moment forward to protect ourselves and the people who depend on us.
A painful diagnosis can change a life, but the choices we make afterward can change many lives.
Sometimes, when people receive a life changing diagnosis like HIV, they do not only struggle with the virus. They struggle with anger, grief, betrayal, denial, fear, and shame. I found myself asking what if she believed her husband was the one who infected her.
If both partners test positive around the same time, it is easy for each person to assume the other brought the virus into the relationship. Without knowing exactly when either person acquired HIV, the truth may not be as obvious as it seems. Yet in moments of pain, assumptions often feel like facts.
Perhaps she was carrying resentment she never expressed. Perhaps every pill reminded her of the life she thought she had lost. Perhaps taking treatment felt, in her mind, like accepting something she was not ready to accept.
None of that excuses refusing treatment during pregnancy, especially when a baby’s health is at stake. ARVs can greatly reduce the risk of mother to child transmission when taken correctly. An innocent child ended up carrying a burden that might have been prevented.
What makes the story so tragic is that HIV was not the only problem in that marriage. There was likely a breakdown of trust, communication, and healing. Anger became stronger than reason. Hurt became stronger than hope.
One of the hardest lessons in life is that when we allow anger to guide our decisions, we often end up hurting ourselves and the people we love most. Whether she was infected by her husband, whether he was infected by her, or whether neither of them truly knew where the virus came from, the person who paid the highest price was the child.
Sometimes healing begins when we stop asking who to blame and start asking what we can do from this moment forward to protect ourselves and the people who depend on us.
A painful diagnosis can change a life, but the choices we make afterward can change many lives.
I read last week that a once in a month ARV pill is in the final stages of trials in the US. The results are indeed very promising. Humanity is getting very close to turning the corner on this virus.
ReplyDeleteAnger doesn't solve any problem. Wether she likes it or not she now has two burdens. Herself and her baby. Husband has left and we all know that the responsibility of taking care of that child will automatically fall on her.
ReplyDeleteSome of the stories we read on FB sha. When a mother positive doesn't receive intervention during pregnancy, ie didn't take her drugs, the child is give a double booster drugs Nevirapine zenovudine with 72 hours of birth to prevent transmission. Again, even if the mother received intervention during pregnancy, the child is given nevirapine at birth. And DBS sample is collected. Achild carries it mothers anti bodies at birth and will definitely test positive when normal HIV test is done . So you can only ascertain via the DBS result.
ReplyDeleteSo if health personnel were involved, the child should have been given double booster drugs to prevent the transmission.
Truly. You’re very correct. So even if the baby tested positive, if there is adherence to the 6 weeks dosage, the baby will be okay. I don’t trust any story from FB. Majority of the stories are fake
DeleteYou don't take poison expecting your enemy to die from it. Anger is expensive.
ReplyDeleteIgnorance..
ReplyDelete