A mother in law is the mother of the person we decide to marry, or the person we are dating with the intention to marry.
Some of them come into our lives as blessings and become like real mothers, just like my own mother in law. And some come with so much trouble that we even regret marrying their child.
Is there anything your mother in law could do that would make you hit her or abuse her physically or verbally? Would you slap her back if she slapped you?
If you are married, or you are dating someone and have met your partner’s mother, have you ever had an altercation with your mother in law or your lover’s mother that almost pushed you to react badly, but you held yourself? Or did you actually hit her?
Let us talk about this. I read a viral, unconfirmed story about a bride who reportedly slapped her mother in law in church because of rice. The mother in law allegedly slapped her first, and she slapped back.
Two days after the wedding, the man filed for divorce.
They say the Bride went too far but what is too far? You dont hit someone and control their reaction.
Even if she dd not slap her back, that marriage ended the minute the mother in law threw the first slap...
I also think that Nigerian mother in laws are a big problem.....
Lets gist!!!
My mother in-law took me as one of her daughters and same with my mother. Very cordial and respected boundaries. It was my late sister in-law,settled the pace and pact,she loved me passionately and really took me as her baby sister. Continue to rest in peace beautiful,sweet big sis. 😭😭😭
ReplyDeleteLast week, there was a story of a mother who went abroad on a visit to her son. It's not the first time as she goes twice a year or there about and whenever she does, the wife leaves the kids with her instead of taking them to the daycare to save funds while they also bond with her. Only for grandma to come this time and told the wife that if she's going to take care of the kids, the wife has to pay same amount paid to the nanny cos her friend has promised her a nanny job and if she's not willing to pay, she will take the job (she obviously found that out through her son and the wife also handles nanny payments.). She told her husband what his mother said and he said she should pay since she also pays same at the nanny's. The wife said if she has to take the kids to the nanny's, she doesn't have to feed her or buy her anything but grandma lives in their house, eats well and whenever she's leaving, she makes it a priority to buy her gifts and even buys gifts for her meeting friends back home so if she's going to pay grandma she should not expect anything when she's leaving for Nigeria or get anything special.
DeleteLast week, My mother in law called that she was sending us food items. Haaa!
ReplyDelete1 cartoon of noodles, 25 kg Garri, rice, beans, Maggi, red oil and pure bliss biscuits for the children..
Hmmm..
Once I see her, we are cool, but once I leave there like this, Otilo until another time.
But we are cool. She's kind and reserved.
I want to have a mil who I will adopt as my mum's bestie, and send them on trips together.
ReplyDeleteMIL is late, I really wish I met her, everyone says she was an angel.
ReplyDeleteHubby has a step mom and she's super nice. My in-laws no get wahala at all.
Is it right for a mother inlaw to impose church on her daughter inlaw? I am an anglican but my husband is a catholic but he doesn’t go to church. My mother inlaw is in another state but would call to remind me to go to church and it must be catholic. She has this domineering attitude that everyone must attend a catholic church
ReplyDeleteMy dear, don't start what you can't finish.
DeleteIt’s not right for her to impose anything on you!
DeleteBlock that foolishness, your husband needs to enforce bounderies
DeleteIf you had asked this question two years ago, I would have said positive things about my husband’s mum. Bottom line, we live abroad. I invited her for 3-6 months while I have never brought my parents. The second time she came to spend 6 months with us, my marriage practically ended. Well, hubby and I were able to resolve things after her departure but it has never been the same. I am unable to love again because he allowed his mum get in the way of our marriage.
ReplyDeleteWe are practically there for the children at this point.
All the daughters in law never said anything good about her but I never entertained negativity as I saw her as my second mum. Well, I learnt I was indeed an inlaw and not a daughter to her. So we relate as in-laws going forward by creating boundaries.
No matter how nice your in laws are, they remain in laws. They will always choose their biological children over you. Please know this and have peace. This doesn't make them bad people but humans.
DeleteThis is why I can never let family stay with me for long periods of time! Come and visit and go, maximum, 1 month, please be on ur way!
DeleteBoth my husband’s side of the family and mine!
I love the peace I enjoy in my home too much to use my hand to ruin it!
I have no issues with my mother in-law. Same with my husband
ReplyDeleteI never met my mother in-law. People say very nice things about her even in the village. I'm cool with everyone, we're just minding our various businesses.
ReplyDeleteMy issue is my sister in-law. This particular sis in-law is so full of herself because she is the one that is doing well among the others.
ReplyDeleteThings are cheaper in the city I and hubby stay. So she always sends money to her brother to buy things like shoes jewelries bags for her. She's so full of herself that she can't even call me that is female to buy those female stuff for her but she will tell her brother my husband who will now tell me and ask me to go buy the things for her.
I feel that's disrespectful so last week I told him she needed handbag and told me and I told him to go to the market himself and buy for her because I don't know her choice. I just want to stop that their nonsense.
If she can't call me to help buy stuff and call her brother, I'm not going to buy anything for them.
Have you made any attempt to bond with her? Some of you forget that the fact that you are married to a man, doesn’t mean all his childhood bonds are deleted and you suddenly better than their siblings and friends.
DeleteHave you thought about that she might also think sending you might offend you, you never know.
Are you jealous that she is successful? Think about what you just wrote as if someone else wrote it down and judge yourself accordingly.
Its best you dont start any trouble where there is none. You seem like a big trouble maker with a restless spirit. If she had been sending you message you will still hate her. Deal withbyour inferiority complex, envy and jealousy. You have a lot of issues in yourself that you are projecting on her.
DeleteMost Nigerians reason with emotions! If she cannot call you for this, dont do it!
DeleteMy mom in law is late now but when she was alive, she made me know I am a daughter inlaw I married an only son among 5 girls and all I can say is, it is a TERRIBLE experience. If I’ll do it over again, I’ll leave their son for them to each cut a piece of and marry him. Nothing beats peace of mind in marriage and where you have interfering in-laws, with a man who is weak, you can’t enjoy that marriage.
ReplyDeleteLet her continue her madness wherever she is.
DeleteMy MIL was really nice and sweet. She's late now though.
ReplyDeleteThe journey with mother in law did not start smoothly: their tribe despised women who have children out of wedlock unknown to me; her eldest son had married a woman from a tribe that was hostile to outsiders. So there was me inheriting hostilities and reservations that had nothing to do with me. I remained me as my mother trained me and finally, few years later, her prized daughter in law (wife of her 2nd son) turned against her and showed her shege Promax. I served her as I would have done for my own mother. Gave up my room for her whenever she came visiting. Cooked to her taste and all. We parted in peace early 2018 when we had to relocate and she passed away two years ago. The last days were not good memories to think about considering the way her children who stayed around her treated her but I thank God that when my husband and I had the opportunity to care for her we did our best within our means.
ReplyDeleteMassa, I could actually write a long story from my 17 years of cross-cultural marriage.