God bless u Stellz

This is a dicey one here, if I get you correctly. You want to marry a Nigerian woman and have your kids raised in Nigeria. Are you going to be abroad while your wife and kids are in Nigeria? Or are you going to be visiting at intervals?

Honestly, I would advise against it. I wouldn't support you staying apart from your wife and kids. You need that bonding to be in your children's lives and most importantly your spouse needs your presence as well. Staying apart will eventually give way to infidelity, there's no two ways about that. How faithful will you be over there or your wife back home? You see why I said it's a dicey situation here. At the end, you have to accept the reality and choose your 'poison' very well. Either you leave her in Nigeria at the mercy of men who will fancy her, or you take her along with you and raise your kids abroad which you don't want to do. You see why I called it a 'poison' you have to choose from.

All the best, I wish you.


©️ TEEJAY

There is more to being a parent than simply just being a father or a mother. Being present in the life of that child, in form and function is very significant to the wholesome development of that child. To each his own but it never sits well with me when families are apart for extended periods of time.

OP, how long do you intend to stay? Even with extended dating periods, couples still run into marital crisis. I don't imagine people who rarely date before getting married, just like you intend to do, fare any better.

If you are settling down here like you said, then that'll be good. Take your time, set your expectations and clearly define what it is you are looking for in a spouse. Know everything it is you have to know while keeping your options open. Trust God's guidance and the deep voice in your spirit. Happy searching. Good luck.

I think you are romanticizing a Nigeria that may not longer exists exactly as you imagined it in time past.The Nigeria your uncles and senior friends left 20 or 30 years ago is not totally similar to the Nigeria you are moving back to. I think what tour relatives are grieving is the loss of a close-knit, culturally rich society that existed before inflation, insecurity, and the current Japa wave took over.

It's a good thing you miss or should I say, love home, but you shouldn't build your futurefamily's plan based on your uncles' and auntie's nostalgic feelings. Don't get me wrong, we still have the beautiful culture, the resilient people and are hopeful for a better Nigeria,but till that happens the daily ifrastructure are punishing.
You can miss your heritage no one is going to hold you, but please try to marry that feeling with being prepared for the current economic reality.

I even see your dating pool as a minefield, because of the japa syndrome and this may even be the most dangerous part of your plan. You say you are actively looking for a wife but in a country where a massive percentage of the youth are desperately praying for a visa to get out. Come on! It's like saying, I have the resources to take us abroad, but I want us to stay here for the culture" see the bitter truth is, the lady will look at you like you have lost your mind.
Some may agree to marry you , but secretly hoping they can change your mind and convince you to relocate later and you cannot marry a woman who wants the abroad life and make her stay back. Your plan cannot exist in a vacuum so you must find a woman who is fiercely passionate about building a life on African soil, or your home will become a battleground or marry a Nigerian lady over there who has same core values and raise your kids over there with agreed traditional mode of rasing kids.

But if you insist of staying back , do not burn your bridges abroad. If you have the ability to secure a second passport or permanent residency abroad for yourself and your future wife, do it first rhen move back to Nigeria to raise your kids. Let them grow up steeped in the culture, the food, the respect, and the extended family, but when they turn 18, hand them a passport and let them choose their own destiny.

Abi you already have a family abroad and you just want to open a branch back home. Please tell us your real plan with your real chest biko

He said he’s thinking of settling down in Nigeria

It’s always easier to complain about the step one took
There’s trouble everywhere
What about cultism in Nigerian uni. Some young men might be alive today if the parents sent them abroad. What about bad healthcare killing our young. What about what about

I hope when you marry that Nigerian woman you will be in Nigeria with her and not leave her with your parents while you go playing life over there. I will encourage both parents to raise children than leaving the whole work for your wife.

I still feel that if you train your children well, location will not matter for thrm to do the right thing.

Lol..
Someone was trying to matchmake me with his friend who shares similar view as the writer snd and I vehemently rejected it. Gave him reasons that he couldn't refute.
I mean, there are several Nigeria ladies and even non-Nigerians abroad who also have connections back home including those who were born and brought up abroad.
Oga, don't try to be smart.

Raising your children in Nigeria can help them stay connected to their roots, culture and extended family.
But remember that good parenting matters more than location.
I will advice you choose a wife who shares your vision and consider your family's security, education, and future opportunities. Don't make your decision based on other people's regrets; make it based on careful planning and what is best for your family.
The greatest gift you can give your children is a loving, peaceful home where they feel they belong, wherever life takes them.
GOOD LUCK.

Training children anywhere is between parents and God.Nigeria doesn't guarantee having children with better behavior.

Those your friends and relatives were absent fathers . Yes I said it. Fathers who will rather watch tv or pick shifts than being involved in their kids lives. They don’t participate in their kids upbringing and yet act surprised when their kids turn out that way. This age and clime you can’t get away with passive parenting cos ai and vices hit your kids the moment they step out the door.
PS: you raise your kids in Nigeria, they school abroad then raise their kids abroad . lol. You’re just delaying the inevitable

Tomorrow now some ITk/woke people will say Nigerian parents are too harsh on their kids? You all have seen it now that many of the kids raised over there don't know how to behave well right?

Na Oyimbo spoil this world. Homo, lez, , they even tampered the scriptures, arms robbery, drug abuse etc all came from there

Poster,

I fear you're living in the past. The Nigeria of today is also steeped in badly behaved boys and girls, dysfunctional families, social media addicts, and loveless men and women. The world is more integrated than ever.

Ask around, Nigeria is rife with yahoo boys, hook up girls, and men and women who worship money and have no care about morals.

Who are the yahoo boys and girls? Nigerian brought ups. Who are the kidnappers and cultists? Nigerian brought ups. The situation in the country needs no sugarcoating. You simply do not understand what is happening around here.

No where is immune to poorly raised kids. Not even Nigeria. Don't live in a fools paradise. Raising children is getting more and more difficult and risky, whether in Nigeria or overseas. What you must do is invest not just your money, but your time, love and emotions in raising your children.

The average Nigerian woman is no longer naive and subservient. Social media is worldwide. You will be met with a rude awakening.!

Make your decision and don't forget to update us on the progress.

Best wishes.

Goodluck to you. There are also badly raised kids here in Nigeria as well.