I think it all depends on the situation. You may be dating someone that is actually serious about you but needs a while to get his finances ready for a wife and a family.

One just has to be alert to know what’s in play. Am I with a time waster or someone that actually wants to marry me

I think dating should be short and 100% celibate. The whole point of dating is to determine if the person is worth moving forward with in courtship. Once the dating couple starts courting that should be relatively short too and remain celibate. However, since courtship is leading to marriage it should be a very spiritual period where divine guidance is sought for wisdom, discernment, and protection. If the parties are nonreligious then they should be observing and determining if they can deal with the flaws in the party other day to day, and also determine if they want to join and be a member of the new family. It should be a time of work not just leisure and enjoyment. A lifetime is a long time to waste in a bad union.

I don't think anyone gets to know everything about the other person completely when dating. It doesn't matter how long you dated, you can only know what the person wants you to know.

However, I'll say there's no perfect time duration for courtship, but then, long-term courtship isn't ideal. Going into a relationship, one must have figured out a time frame they are looking at for settling down. You just don't start a relationship when you are not yet ready for marriage. A relationship should be a phase when you know the resources are already there and you need a woman to do life with you. At such time, once compatibility has been established, you should proceed immediately to the marital rites.

But when you are not financially prepared and you go into one, when compatibility is there and finance is absent, it becomes a burden and prolongs everything. In essence, I'm saying before going into a relationship, especially for the man, he should have figured out a time frame which shouldn't be more than a year. Again, you should be financially ready too. What's the essence of going into a relationship without being financially ready? What happens next if you both tick the boxes on each other?


©️ TEEJAY

For me there's no manual to all these
There are people who court for a short period and get married,doing well,while same mayn't be applicable to same individual who dated for a short time,and it doesn't last..
You can still date for years and not get married,and also lucky you could date that long and gets married..so for me, I would prefer short time so that if it ends, everyone moves on and keep trying
Let everyone do what works for them

There are no set rules to these things but I prefer long term bcos marriage is serious business. That time you are scared of wasting will eventually come and go.

None is necessarily safer because, whether you date someone for a long or short period, you may only scratch the surface and get to know the aspects of themselves they choose to reveal. People are complex and can pretend for as long as it takes to get the person they desire.


If you are a Christian and someone asks you out, just go to God in prayer and ask for divine guidance. God will reveal things about that person and the future of the relationship to you, if you decide to pursue it. It's that simple! However, make sure you have a close relationship with God and are accustomed to hearing from Him concerning other areas of your life before you get to that point.

Honestly, neither dating for too long nor dating for too short is ideal.

The preferable option is dating long enough to truly know each other, but not so long that the relationship becomes stagnant.

The right duration depends on your maturity, intentions, values, and readiness for commitment.

Everyone is not going to use same method. We dated for four years,before getting married. Still knowing each other daily.

There is no perfect answer to this question, and it is one of those thoughts that keeps many of us up at night. Because both options carry massive risks, but if I had to choose, I would say it is safer to date longer and risk the relationship collapsing. YES.

Time does not guarantee a perfect marriage, but it absolutely exposes consistency. You need to see someone stressed, angry, bored, and tired before you sign a legal document with them. People can easily hide their red flags or fake a persona for six months to a year. It takes time and different seasons of life to know who someone truly is. You need to see how they handle financial stress, how they treat people when they are upset, and how they navigate disagreements.

If you date someone for years and the relationship eventually falls apart, it hurts terribly. You feel like you wasted time, and your heart is broken. But you walk away with your freedom and your lessons,. You learned what you want and what you cannot stand. The relationship ended because you finally saw the full picture, allowing you to dodge a painful bullet.

On the flip side, dating briefly and marrying quickly risks trapping you in a legal commitment with a stranger. The reality is that people can easily mask their true colors, toxic habits, or financial red flags during the honeymoon phase. When real life hits, you might find yourself legally bound to someone you do not actually align with.

However, time alone is not the only factor. A couple that dates for six months but has intense, raw, uncomfortable conversations about money, trauma, kids, and values might know each other better than a couple that dates for five years just coasting on good vibes and weekend dates.

Neither option gives you a 100% guarantee. At the end of the day, relationships are always a leap of faith. Some people just find their person and it works out perfectly, no matter which timeline they followed..