Does it matter that someone you know is about to marry someone they love but you are shocked because their choice does not conform to society?..they picked someone you think is not physically complete,so you are standing in the way of their happiness?
Are you the one i am referring to?or are you in this kind of situation where someone thinks you are not good enough for someone they know?
''I am a lady in my early forties. I have 2 younger brothers ages 29 and 30. We lost our parents at a very early age,and i am like their mother because we grew up with nobody but ourselves. They hold me in high esteem and regard because i am more or less their mother as i did a lot of things to make them successful today. I saw them through the university..... They both work in shell.
Anyway, the youngest wants to get married now but the girl he wants to marry is disabled. A beautiful girl, well educated and well mannered. Pls, dont get me wrong, am a God fearing person and i don't discriminate. But each time i see the girl, i just feel funny. She limps, i think it was caused by polio. They seem to love each other but knowing my brother, if i don't approve of the girl, he will not marry her.
Please, my fellow blog visitors, does the disability really matter? I mean the social aspect of it for my brother. How will his friends see and accept his limping wife.
Has anybody seen a disabled young woman who later became a good wife/mother irrespective of her disability? AM SO CONFUSED.''
*Maam,please leave them alone..if he chooses her and his friends do not accpet her,he will find a way around it because when a man loves a woman he'd turn his back on his best friends if they dont approve...i have seen it happen.
when a man loves a woman,he can also disown his family if they disapprove...i have seen it happen..
Dont let God humble you with that girl's disability.....leave them alone and renew your mindset.
Ha! Leave them to make their choice, what matters here is love.
ReplyDeleteMy dad best friend dauther got married to a blind man but Bfor d wedding hummm u need to see war but today she happily married for over 15 years and still counting please let dem be so peace can reign.
DeleteAbi o. Me i do not see limping as a disability. Come n meet me with ur limp n say 'aunty, pls help me bla bla bla'... i fit wooze u slap. is ur hand broken? Ur brain dead? R u not moving from one point to another and seeing well? Abeg park well o!
DeleteAbeg dear poster, how for both get into shell? Help a brother... Pls
DeleteAyefele is a star and he's happily married. He's disabled. The sugar band man is a super star with disability and he's also happily married.
DeleteWould u refuse ur brother be married to her if it were him who's disabled? Or even you who is asking? There are so many unseen disabilities in a person that can hinder such to be happy in marriage. Like not being able to conceive, it's a temporary but frustrating disability.
So bother less on the physical disability becos it is nothing when compared with the unseen disability that can hinder a marriage.
Just imagine u get married,and something happens to use and u lose ur sight or somfin,and u husband leaves u bcos of dat? Tink about how u will feel,u shud accept dat girl,don't give karma reasons to visit u pls.tnx
ReplyDeleteDear poster let me tell you a personal story. I am one of those healthy young women who only think I could only produce healthy children and in my heart sort of looked down on those people with disabled children till God sent me one in a worse situation and it humbled me. I know look at all humans as equal. Let them be, that limping girl is someone's child
DeleteWhat if he marries an able body person and the person becomes disable or of your brother is the one disabled. Won't you be over the moon if he gets able bodied person to marry? Let them be please, we have to look further than our nose in some situations , it is hard but let's trust God,
ReplyDeletePlease leve them alone oh. My elder sister also has a limp, and she is happily married with a child. It dose not stop them from normal activity.
DeleteNa wa for you poster! Has her disability made her less of a human or a woman? Please don't spoil your brothers happines I beg you.
ReplyDeleteYou are not the one marrying the lady so allow him make his choice. Did your brother tell you he didn't see other girls but rather chose this one. This should show you that there is something special about that lady. Physical disability can't make one not to be a good wife and mother please.
Don't forget that you that is whole and healthy today can become disabled tomorrow. Don't bring a curse to yourself inugo. Cheers.
Wats up with all these threats of her becoming disabled if she doesnt accept the girl. Hian. Nigerians tho.
DeleteMay b God is using ur brother to help d gal so pls don't stop him n just imagine if she was ur own sister
ReplyDeleteOh no! Buh shez also human....
ReplyDelete*African Barbie..
Stella,the love might be there now but how about the long run?
ReplyDeleteLove fades....yes it does.
However,i feel it'd be a bad idea him marryin her if he feels both love n pity 4her. As the man will later start feeling disgusted at the sight of her. He would threat her like thrash that she would even contemplate suicide. So it is better she gets heartbroken now, than be in a terrible and loveless marriage.
Just hear urself out,am wondering the nuisance dat gave birth to u,
DeleteAs always, u have dropped a senseless comment!
DeleteGet ur mind right sister...you are too bitter
M-Amie. There u go again. Now i kw y Stella barely post ur comment. U need 2 change. And fast!!!!!!!!!
DeleteSo ma mie if the disable girl was your sister or daughter would you wish her heart to be broken because she is disable .pls change your statement before nemesis caught up with you .disable or not disable if she is good bros marry her .
DeleteSweethearts are you disabled?
DeleteHave I pinched a nerve?
Sorry but while bashing me u shld hav dropped ur own advice instead of wasting space.
Mine is candid,I hope d poster finds it helpful.
You are Just a bitter witch! We don't have to see you flying like a bird in the night, even the devil quote scriptures... How come all you ever think for or of people is negative thought?
DeleteOnyaaraa
Not bitter, just brainless. Always spewing trash. I cringe in embarrassment anytime you open your mouth. You just talk any nonsense that enters that your empty head. Mschewww!
DeleteM-amie! Onugbu tinz! Bitter kola flavor! Obiakpor movement. Tufia! I fear u
DeleteM-amie.....do u think before u drop comments??? most times,,u comment like an heartless and insensitive person.....is she the only lady the guy saw and still made her his choice???and because the lady limps,,,does that make her less of a woman??? should that also stop her from getting married?? are u saying anyone dat marries a disabled married out of pity???see,,there's more to love and marriage than looks,,,i guess ur hubby married u cos of looks alone but i hope u'll tame ur mouth and sense of reasoning cos u come across as someone that talks loosely/shabbily ...if not u'll land urself in trouble.....
DeleteI have what is called four "o'clock eye", I wasn't born that way. I was climbing a tree at the back of my house in the village when a dry branch poked my right eye. As a result of it, I began to face stigmatization. More often than not people refered to me as "miss four o'clock eye". It is so painful I remember, wen I broke up with my ex-boy friend he told me to my face that his people asked him what he was doing with a blind girl. I wasn't blind I could see bt no they felt I was disabled nd not a wife material coz of my eye. I lost my self esteem, I felt like I was the most ugly girl in the World.I began to stay away from people. The most recent one is wen my younger sister,our last born who is in secondary school told me point blank last year that she is just realizing I have "four o'clock eye".I was so bitter in my heart bt I felt happy wen I thought of the good things in my life. Very soon I will be getting married to one of the most handsome men on earth. He is so handsome that when he toasted me at first I felt he was a joker. Each time he told me how beautiful I was I will be like "pls stop decieving me". Till the day he proposed I was still doubting his love.girls envy me each time they see us together. I was at the beach with him wen a lady walked up to me nd told me point blank "ur man is so handsome abeg borrow me nah"this is to show u the extent of his handsomeness. Yes, I doubted his love nd his trueness becoz I had lost my self esteem due to what my ex-boyfriend said. When the time came for me to meet his people I was so worried of what they would say.thought like this ran through my mind, Maybe they will say"who is this four o'clock eyed girl". It wasn't easy for me coz I kept thinking about what they would say for a very long time. However, they accepted me whole heartedly, I don't know if they voiced out their thoughts behind me bt in front of me they were very happy. Today, I am almost tru with my masters degree. The crowning glory was when I won an award as the most beautiful girl during nysc in my Zone nd it was done through voting.Today, I am so grateful to God for the gift of life nd I don't care what people say about my eye.I can tell u, it was God that gave me that confidence. My dearest mamie, I urge u to take out time to always think bfore u write. There is nothing wrong with him marrrying her what matters is the heart. I can tell u, these people ie"physically challenged people" are the most humble people that you can find on earth. They are very caring nd down to earth. Aunty writer, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. Blog analyser
DeleteOhhhhhh u just made my day! What a lovely heart u hav. May d universe always work things out in your favour. Good luck in your marriage. Bless u & mr handsome.
DeleteThis bitter soul again? Don't worry, ur own dey front if u don't change ur ways.. God doesn't sleep neither does he slumber... someone who is normal today can be deformed tomorrow, so don't think u r better than her. Mami water u don hear??
DeleteMrs J
But why do folks attack M-amie all the time? If she drops a comment you don't like, why don't you keep moving? Someone actually called her parents nuisance? By calling her parents nuisance, have you done any better or worse? Honestly, I pity a lot of people out there.
DeleteM-amie wrote,
Stella,the love might be there now but how about the long run?
Love fades....yes it does.- Yes, it sure does. Feelings change, even in marriage. There are no guarantees in life.
However,i feel it'd be a bad idea him marrying her if he feels both love n pity 4her. He says he loves her, I want to believe he does.
As the man will later start feeling disgusted at the sight of her. He would threat her like thrash that she would even contemplate suicide. So it is better she gets heartbroken now, than be in a terrible and loveless marriage.
Dear woman, let your brother be. If he says this is the woman he loves, so be it. Like I said, there are no guarantees in life. Let him paddle his own canoe.
M'amie is just a retard. That's all.
DeleteMamie if your husband (that's if no be lie u dey blow) can marry a retarded girl like you then that girl has hope.....the brother brought the girl himself so what's the pity there? Aunty oluyomi we will not move on cos she needs to know the truth about herself......thinking no be rocket science Abeg
DeleteIs it my poor English or your poor reasoning or just the hate that has clouded ur hearts?
DeleteHow cld humans be so hostile?
I only meant d guy shld b adviced nt to go on if he feels more of pity than love coz it's the girl who wld suffer wen d love isn't there again.
I'm not an ass licker neither am I a wicked soul.
I'm just a logical reasoner n I don't expect everyone to agree with me that's y it's a blog but these ones insulting my parents,I pray u never taste parenthood cos uve don this severally without me replying it's now bcom a norm 4u.
M-amie, I haven't met you but I already have an impression about you. The world is a small place. BTW, your picture is up there....
DeleteDear poster, it is NOT IN YOUR PLACE TO decide!
Dis M'amie! You're asking if sum1 is disabled?? 4 real?? You think you're able?? My dear you're "mannerly disabled" nd whoever married you will be emotionally disabled! Who married you sef? Did he marry your picture or wah?
DeleteIs dis how you rly are or you're doing dis for attention? Are you nt even ashamed of yasef wif ur face up dere?
On one post you were calling sum1 ur cleaner, on anoda you mentioned God.
How do you sleep @ nyt?
I think your husband needs to send his story to dis blog so we can advise him. Men dey suffer too o!! Sum1 actually put you in his house?! You're terrible I must tell you. Nd you need to change!
Na wa o. So u people really think that those who post their pics here are all real? Common guys, even when u see photos that u imagine suits the writer's comments, don't be overly gullible to assume that it is the real them abeg.
DeleteJane you have said it all mammy you are mannerly disable ,mammy water take several seat jior ,
DeleteWhat mamie said is right ,if he must marry her it should be out of love and not pity, in that way the relatinship would last
Delete@blog Analyser, your eyes is correctable if you wish to do so.
DeleteHmmm…Make i think about this first…Hmm…No i no go talk wetin dey my mind.
ReplyDeletehmmm,click my name pls
ReplyDeleteAll we need is love.
ReplyDeleteLeave them alone! Love is found strange places.
ReplyDelete~HOLLYROBB~
aproko senior sister. which one come concern u inside the matter? shuoooo. see wahala o. lmao. i never see this kind thing before i swear. i know someone who limps, na polio cause her own and she's a doctor. very beautiful and intelligent + she dey select sef. madam, if you are married, i suggest you face your meat.
ReplyDeletePerhaps you are idle! i can like to give you 10 bags of local rice to pick.
Kai julit, u gather mouth o! Anyone who doesn't steer clear of it is OYO! Lol! I like u sha. U're funny.
Delete@poster methinks ur concern is majorly for urself, not ur brother. I'm guessing u're a person of means/high social standing, and u're worried about ur reputation among ur peers i'e how u'll be regarded when they find out u've got a disabled sis-in-law.
I could be wrong though, just trying to psychanalyse you,lol! My advice: do some self-examination!
EXACTLY!!!!!!!!! Aki ya rite!!!
DeletePoster,allow them to marry joor....will you be happy if it were to be your daughter that someone rejected like that.....allow them biko since they love themselves
ReplyDeleteHi madam poster, this memo is for you.
ReplyDeleteThis is coming for a person who is also wearing the shoes your brother's girlfriend is wearing. if they both love themselves please and please again DO NOT stand in their way. take a look around you, you will see a lot of people living with physical disabilities those on wheel chair, clutches etc. happily married with kids. i was born without any but polio struck when i was only 9 months now walk unaided but i leap . I am in love with the man of my dreams and will be working down the isle soon. now you know where am coming from. my would be in-laws adore me they respect the choice their son, brother has made. please BACK OFF. what is wrong with Nigerians and their mentality when it comes to disabled people. MADAM YOUR INABILITY TO SEE THAT GIRLS ABILITIES HAS MADE YOU DISABLED. YES AM NIGERIAN IN LOVE WITH A NIGERIAN. Sharon.
Aww Sharon... hugs. happy married life in advance. I know a lady. She's been on a wheel chair for ever but she's beautiful n happily married with 2 kids. @ Poster,This your own is only limping n u r shouting.pls let dem be.
DeleteGod bless u Sharon......HML in advance..
DeleteGod bless u Sharon.Please invite us for ur wedding.. I wish u d very best dear.
DeleteWhat if she were deaf? Or blind? Or on a wheel chair? Madam "mummy", u shld be more enlightened than you're currently displaying. A disability doesn't make a person any less human. It doesn't define a person. Get to know her more, and you'll not even notice the limping after a while (I'm sure ur brother doesn't notice it anymore either)
ReplyDelete#DahzAll
Madam fear God o and mind ur business if ur brother find joy there let him be,what if he marry a queen today and she break legs tomoRrow let's stop playing God... How we are is Gods making cos if its by choice we will all choose to be what we are not already but do we really sabi pass God???
ReplyDeleteShame on those that cuss people out due to looks and appearance instead of character shame on you..can u create a piece of hair???
Btw let it be out of love and not pity...
My sister has polio and she is the best wife/mother any man can ask for. I call her my (s)hero!
ReplyDeleteDear poster, you are already discriminating. Leave the poor girl alone. She didn't cause her disability. You think she is happy she is disabled in some way? Godbless your brother for loving her regardless. You better not be a wicked SIL. So angry at you.
ReplyDeleteNamsense!
Perfect response from Stella.
ReplyDeleteBiko leave them alone.. And give your approval.. Its obvious you brother really loves her (i believe so,i just hope its nt jazz tho)..
This is sorry case.. can't judge oo but put your hand off their love affair..
ReplyDeleteAh madam, please mind your business. You are not the one that will live with the lady. Do not go and spoil something good because of the 'social' aspect. Please leave them alone to enjoy their life. GOD BLESS YOU AS YOU DO SO!
ReplyDeleteImagine her being your younger sister, won't you sincerely wish her the best?
ReplyDeleteOya blog visitors help your members.
ReplyDeleteLet's face turn d table round. If your brother was d limping one, how would u feel?
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you stella you are so much on point what of if. She got disabled after the marriage what would she have done call for divorce or what? Anyways Love is the Greatest I understand you love your brother but please don't put seperate. Him and his heart desire
ReplyDelete@poster it shows u r a wicked person for u to have dis kinda tot in mind,is it d gurl fault dat she didn't get immunized on time n got the polio,na wa if me na ur bro if u disagree dats ur own piece of cake,love doesn't have a profile,U r a wicked person,so self centered,stella post my comment if u don't want me to bomb dis blog
ReplyDeleteWhere is prince jobless? I miss him so much
ReplyDeleteHe's in love with an older woman
DeleteDear poster love is wat matters. Accidents also happen n people her disabled too r u saying dey cnt get married ?
ReplyDeleteStella said it all! Love matters! I'm sure u'll nt b dere if he marries a promiscuous, bad-mannered n physically good looking lady! Leave him 2 decide his future! Thanks 4 nt being a stumbling block to true luv!
ReplyDeleteLeave her alone. So many disabled people live good lives. The only thing you should consider is this 9 letter word; C-H-A-R-A-C-T-E-R.
ReplyDeleteHmmm,I av k-leg and just out of curiousity I googled dating people with k-leg and the things I saw weren't funny at all..Just as stella said..I thinks its up to the husband..cus there's gon be lots of side talks,if he can cope with that then its fine.
ReplyDeleteTanza!
I feel you should allow him marry her since thats what he wants. She did not choose to be disabled. Fuck society and friends. His happiness should be your topmost priorty
ReplyDeleteSpot on. His happiness or his friends happiness..... U b d judge.
DeleteGbam!! Stella has answered u, there is no correlation between physical disability and being a good wife, wat u shuld be looking out for is her attitude. If we cant create then we shouldnt condemn God's creation, it is not her making that she limbs, are u trying to suggest dat disabled pple av no right to be happy......Let them be!
ReplyDeleteMa'am wif due respect to ur person ur inability 2luk beyond d lady's physical lukz makes u a disabled person already. Hv u stopped 4 a moment 2fink if d situation were 2b reversed? Ladies r alwayz d cause of oda ladies problems. If u r a xtian 4real den steer clear his choice of a life partner irrespective of wat fiq u represent in his life.
ReplyDeleteWell educated, well mannered, beautiful
ReplyDeletewhat else do you want?
oh, she's disabled?
your brother saw other able bodied ladies before picking the disabled lady
i'll advise you allow them
disability is not inability
Madam I beg leave them alone he's a grown man let him follow his heart .that disable girl gives him joy .I have a friend who's is married to a girl that limps .handsome bobi like that I asked him bros I beg no vex wetin you see for this babe body his answer best sex ever ; you see tht leg they limps can turn 360 on the bed .when you hear that from a man knows he's ready to disown anything disown able ..so mind your business ma
ReplyDeleteGuess u dnt knw d meanin of Godfearing. Eve E Ume
ReplyDeleteIf he can cope with taking care of her and all,then let him be!afterall God made someone for everyone,so ur bros is one of the pple made for her category'.
ReplyDeletePls let him be,hes fulfilling God's agenda!
Let them marry abeg....Afterall the girl is beautiful,intelligent,educated as u said....Her disability doesn't make her less a human...dear poster,try to put urself in the girl's shoes...what if u were In love wf a man anddur inlaws rejected u cos u were disabled?...Ur brother has made his choice and I fink u should respect that
ReplyDeleteIts so easy for people for people to come here and cuss someone having a problem out in the name of giving opinions because its not happening to you. how would you feel if your handsome, intelligent, successful,favourite brother comes home one day with a blind girl and says that the girl he wants to marry and you ll just open your arms with a huge grin and accept her? lets tell ourselves the truth we are humans it doesnt work that way, its not a very tasty pill to swallow it takes time to get over that initial shock and disappointment and then you begin to look at the person inwardly.@poster if your brother is comfortable with her and doesnt mind, just let them be .He s not a mad man he saw the other legions of girls and still chose her so let them go ahead .But to be on safe side playfully ask him what he thinks and listen to his response if he s very okay and comfortable with it let them be.
ReplyDeleteDisappointment because she limps! She's not bedridden. I should send you a basket of egusi to break
DeleteThis anon is one of d few truthful Nigerians existing, lots of hypocrites on here.
DeleteIt's not her fault she's like that......if she was your child or sister, am sure you will be glad shes getting married....pls , just wish them well and let them be...
ReplyDeleteDear poster,
ReplyDeletelet them be.. i have a friend who limps due to polio well she is married now with a kid.she is even a doctor.
Please see beyond the disability and see the good side of her. As regards to the social aspect of this, his friends will accept her gladly and of course he will trash anyone who wants to point out her disability. Men tend to be very over protective of those they love.
lastly, put yourself in your brother shoes i am very sure you will do everything to prove that his disability doesn't mater.
Pls allow them so long as they are happy together. My cousin married a girl that doesn't have one leg sef but I am hapi for him cos it's obvious that she is one of the best things that happened to him. She is really awesome, so since the girl in question is as good as u said she is, pls give them ur blessing.
ReplyDeleteMadam poster. What if he plans to marry a lady thats not limping and God forbid, she had an accident on the wedding day and breaks her legs thereby confined to a wheelchair. Would u prefer that? Or would you tell him to cancel the wedding?
ReplyDeleteAbeg. Let him live his life.
She will cancel d weddinq or disown her bro if he disobey. N u say u r a born aqain xtian. Mtchew wonder y some ppl r so selfish n self centered. If u never hear dis sayin hear am 2day. Its only d death dats complete. So back off n carry ur sentiments wif u as u r backin off.
DeleteWen I was born d nurse pulled my hand and in d process I lost use of my ryt hand,ppl laffd at me,I becm so timid,I met my hubby durn nysc n he made me feel beautiful n I smtyms frgt I had a disability,bf we gt married hs mum was like I won't b abl to tk cr of my kids and pound fr him,inshrt wat didn she say,buh to d glory of God my hubby stuck thru wiv me n today we v 2 kids(I bath them infact frm wen thy were born)I am a gd wife n wonderful mother n best of all I v a thriving business!so pls poster leav yur bro alone n dnt b an obstacle!
ReplyDeleteYou can't be a christian nd talk dis way dear, Do u knw wat it means to serve nd love God? If u do then u wil love all he created , have u ever been pregnant? Do u ever think of wat u have inside of u? Have u ever imagined wat u wil see on d day of delivery? My sister, fear God!
ReplyDeleteDis shouldn't be an issue!!already she knows she's meant to back out!!!!hello its cald LOVE...it takes a guy a lot to decided whom to marry and nau he has chosen and u wanna put katakata...habah Na biko NNE am sending 10local bags of rice ur way help me pick dem!!
ReplyDeleteThe only set of disabled people are those who are Disabled in thinking.......by saying disabled in thinking I mean...those who do not accept others d way they are....dear sister,look past the physical features...its not all about beauty or percieved wholeness...there is more to life than that....she can walk,she can see,she can hear,she's mentally sound.......there's no difference between u and her.....she's human too..capable of loving and deserves to be loved too....if she finds happpiness with ur brother....let them be....I know u want d best for him.......she may be the best for him......just look past d physical features......imagine if ur brother were to be in her shoes..u would also want d best for him......just let things unfold....she would either be a blessing or a lesson.....since u have a heart dat loves ur brothers that much...open up ur heart more and accept her with open arm.......the only true kind of disability is disability of d mind....
ReplyDeleteLimping is not bad though! Leave him b4 he goes to marry one karishika that will mk u loose him eventually. I know of a lady on wheelchair dat has bn married with 2kids. She sings in portharcourt. D hubby even bought her a customised car so she could drive. People taught he was mad bt its over 15yrs thy got married and are very happy. Leave him to mk his choice. He's an adult or else he'll blame u for life if he eventually leaves her and hooks up with a bad person.
ReplyDeleteMy dad had polio @ infancy, people looked down on him and never took him serious, my mum married him and gave birth to 4 of us, we are nt just healthy but good looking. When I was little I admit I felt really bad, but as I grew up, I realised that my dad wasn't just like evry other dads, he is dad and mum combined, thought me how to cook, took me to the best of schools, made sure I never lacked did things that when my friends see me, they say wow ur dad really rocks. I am sooooo proud of my dad that I always flaunt him around, if you like say haaa your dad nt only limps but uses a walking stick! For your pocket, I love U dad and I will always do!!! You re my hero!! Ndibe susan.
ReplyDeleteMy dad had polio @ infancy, people looked down on him and never took him serious, my mum married him and gave birth to 4 of us, we are nt just healthy but good looking. When I was little I admit I felt really bad, but as I grew up, I realised that my dad wasn't just like evry other dads, he is dad and mum combined, thought me how to cook, took me to the best of schools, made sure I never lacked did things that when my friends see me, they say wow ur dad really rocks. I am sooooo proud of my dad that I always flaunt him around, if you like say haaa your dad nt only limps but uses a walking stick! For your pocket, I love U dad and I will always do!!! You re my hero!! Ndibe susan.
ReplyDeleteMy friend had polio but she is married now with two kids and living happily leave them alone plz....
ReplyDelete