*Silence and side eyes*
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
FINANCIALLY SUPPORTING WIFE.
The chronicle I read some Fridays ago on this blog really got to me and I just knew I had to write mine.
The lady that sent in that chronicle better read mine and learn from it, but truth be said 'its tough but I will still marry same man if given another chance' (the lady in the chronicle explained how she's pregnant for her jobless guy. At the end of her chronicle, Stella gave her a hot SLAP)
I started dating my husband when we were in school, as students we supported each other through thick and thin. Upon graduation we proceeded for NYSC in different state. I was lucky to get a job afterwards but he on his part wasn't that fortunate. Truth be told, he is not a lazy man and will happily take up any job if he sees an opportunity. Let me mention that before he got admission into school he was working and with his savings he was able to sponsor himself in the first year of his admission.
He even bought a land while working and had started construction on it before his admission clicked. He had to resign from the job because his admission was in another state. (Sometimes I wonder why he picked education over that job because it looks like education no longer pays).
He submitted my CV and helped me get my last job, he would have also applied for same job but it wasn't his field, besides they needed someone with at least 2years experience which I had during and post-nysc.
We dated for over 8years before marriage. He engaged me with a 1000 naira ring (lol, I don't mind. Its the gesture that matters) and we got married 2years ago, I practically financed the wedding, paid for our apartment and other bills plus feeding. Luckily for us, he got a job in February 2015, as soon as that happened he took over his responsibility, paid the rent, foot all
bills and attended to my needs. God is ever kind to us, I got pregnant and delivered my baby last year.
I paid the hospital bill because he could not afford it then as he had just paid the rent from his small salary. Everything was going smoothly until January 2016 when he lost his job (its a contract job and they let go of all their staff).
The whole responsibility came back to me, I do it happily because I know he is a hustler who is hustling hard to get another job (I pray fortune smiles on him).
To cut a long story short, I also lost my job in the month of June as my employer said the company is struggling to stay afloat and they had to let go of some staff, it is disheartening.
Many questions come to mind, how do we feed? How do we cater for this baby? How do we pay our next rent? Plenty how's without an answer. We sat down as a family and reached a conclusion, we decided to start a business with the small money in my account, we lack the whole capital needed for the business. Hubby has submitted many CV's online, he recently got an SMS from one of the company to come for an interview, he went and after many explanations the applicants were asked to pay 13k before they can get the job, out of frustration he paid 5k hoping to balance them off as soon as he gets the job, he got there the next day and they demanded full payment before anything, that was how he didn't get inducted with those that paid the full amount.
I would have given him the balance from the little I have but one mind tell me say na scam, thank God we didn't pay because hubby kept in touch with one of the applicants that paid the full amount, the guy said they were asked to pay another 45k for laptop and at the end of the day they have to be marketers for one living product *smh*.
So we had to go back to our initial plan which is to start a business, since we still need additional start up capital we are left with
no option than to sell some of our belongings. Still thinking of what to sell, maybe my babys cot inclusive since baby doesn't like sleeping in it. in the main time hubby will keep submitting CV and hoping for the best.
And please no one should say anything about my hubby having bad luck because I know say some of una get bad mouth and sabi cuss person. (On another thought, abuse him if you want but while at it go back to the chronicle of Friday, August 5th and see how Victor's story changed for the best )
All in all, I love my husband and will never trade him for another.
I know from experience what the lady that sent in that Fridays chronicle is going through, my sister just follow your heart regardless of Stella's slap and what some fellow bvs said (but truth be said, there are days I feel like slapping my husband, sometimes I nag when I remember I am the one footing the bills....lol, we are all human)
God!!!! I have never typed a message this long in my whole life, kudos to Stella for this platform. I read your blog 24/7 but I never get to comment because I was always busy at work..... Lol, I am now jobless so I got time not only to comment but to also write in.
And please Stella, save the ink from your red pen.
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ReplyDeleteAJ AJ! We know your type. The ones who are rich but women still run from cos plenty things dey chase them away. Don't worry. Your mumu is coming.
Finally. ...
ReplyDeleteAnon 17:43 no be you give am?
ReplyDeleteWhen u were chasing a bleached human hair wearing, claws fixing babe what do you expect? You see the humble ones you say they're not classy enough. Ehnn... go and carry your cross biko.
ReplyDeleteIf the landed property is in your name then no need to vex.
ReplyDeleteSo between November and August you went from 300 a year, you dead broke to 200k giver?
ReplyDeleteYou guys should have a savings plan biko. 300 a month salary should not leave you so broke within few months. Even if you planned a wedding. As a habit, always leave at least 1m in a separate account. Untouchable. And divide your income into spending, saving and investment parts. That way, you won't be too broke to feed for at least 6 months.
Most of my friends think I actually earn more than I earn. Cos of how I partition my money. When you know how to do so, you won't know very high highs so close to very low lows any time soon.
2. NEVER depend on 9-5. My bf makes over 1m a month but im on his head to invest in back up income sources. Employers can mess u up at any time. You've seen it na?
Good luck.
A chronicle is just that, a chronicle. It mustn't be that someone is asking for advise. A person could simply tell his or her story.
ReplyDeleteAnon 17:12 as a man thinks in his heart, so is he. If you are expecting your hubby to change when he gets money, you will get just that. Why not pray for something positive as this your mindset can delay his breakthrough.
ReplyDeleteGod bless the gifter. Grateful on behalf of the poster.
ReplyDeleteYours*
ReplyDeleteAnon 18:45 i won't divorce him.
If truly her husband is not cheating, and is as good and hard-working as she says, God will surely bless their home in the nearest future.
ReplyDeleteThis is make or break time. Hang in there and all will be well.
ReplyDeleteMy hubby and I dated for 9years before we got married. And we were not collecting and my hubby is not broke. God is faithful like that. Poster, don't mind them, your testimony will locate you soon. Don't stop PRAYING. God bless you.
ReplyDeleteThe problem with your type is that you always go for the wrong kind of women. You like flashy, the ones that are not shallow and will not cheat on you may be too homely and unattractive for you. You can't eat your cake and have it. There are many good ladies out there, but they usually get ignored for fluff.
ReplyDeleteI see your point. In fact I have experienced it. Knew a guy when he had nothing, no swag, no money. Stayed with him for years, even lived with him. As soon as he started making money, things started changing gradually. He started having girlfriends upandan. Until he got rid of me after putting up a lot of excuses as to why he couldn't marry me and treating me like shit. I was evicted eventually ofcourse. He on the hand continued to make money and do better and within few months got married to someone else. So you can imagine how I will feel about giving myself completely to a man again. However, I am aware that there are a few good men. I have seen some women blessed such. Such men have hearts made of gold, hard to find they are, but blessed is the woman who has him.
ReplyDeleteI feel you jare. The best part of being a woman is when a man is a man!
ReplyDeleteThank you Jesus! WAY MAKER!!! May the giver never ever lack and may the receiver receive inspiration to MULTIPLY this SEED. STELLA, God bless YOU and your MINISTRY live!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteNice one anon 19:19.
ReplyDeleteOya write your chronicle.
ReplyDeleteLmfaooooo
ReplyDeleteAmen to those prayers.
ReplyDeleteFor the corner of your now u be bible scholar. U have only read but haven't studied hence have not understood the bible text. Paul was referring to the church not just the men. Once again even when God had created Adam and Eve, He yet referred to both them as Man/he in some verses of the Bible. Pray that you truly get the Spirit in the letters you read/study. The Bible is not a novel. Deliverance comes from God alone and Jesus already paved the way for ALL to directly access the Throne of grace in times of trouble. You can't give what you don't have. And when u have as a church share and each one who has should be responsible for your family else Na there wahala dey for am. Even the Bible tells that WHEN(certainty) trouble comes and not IF(probability)...Isaiah 43:2. Note now that even God's own go through trying moments in life just to get them mature in their walk with God and not bcz they need deliverance from one prophet, okay?
ReplyDeleteAnon18:12 Reread the post again..she would again and again and again and again and again and again and again (don't stop saying it) choose her hubby. So kindly ask Stella to help you delete that post up there Cuz ur comment is off point!!!
ReplyDeleteWisdom has spoken. The beginning is the actual foundation be it God or the devil, it is ultimately each ones decision to make. God bless ur union.
ReplyDelete*winks, present ma'am
ReplyDeleteMadam pls drop ur contact or ur husband contact with Stella,i want to pay my Tithe
ReplyDeleteMiracle worker
ReplyDeleteMiracle worker
The Lord who answers when i call
You're a miracle worker
I believe in giving your all in marriage. Yes, am a woman. No, am not stupid.
When you live right with God and give your all to support your family and your husband take you for granted. There is a BIG MAN in that union, He's Almighty, you can mock him. I speak for myself because i am a living testimony.
God's hand is already in your family poster and may God bless the giver.
Meanwhile, today is my birthday.
Team August, team leo.
Words cannot express how i feel.
To you Lord be all the praise, honor and adoration. Thankful and Blessed.
Ify.
Just reading this comment, I can almost tell you attend dominion city. In fact NCF UNN. Am I correct?
ReplyDeleteJust reading this comment, I can almost tell you attend dominion city. In fact NCF UNN. Am I correct?
ReplyDelete@ anon 19:19, nice one. You have a good heart. It's only when the chips are down you know who will stick around.
ReplyDeleteGodspeed dear...
Congratulations madam, I'm so happy for you. Oh God please remember me too in Jesus name amen.
ReplyDeleteGod is good.
ReplyDeleteAnon18:05: You read the scripture upside down that's y you didn't understand it and here you are wrongfully applying it.
ReplyDeletePoster if in your heart of hearts you don't think your husband is bad luck,why do you think anyone would think so?
ReplyDeleteYou nailed it.
ReplyDeleteSo ur husband ain't ure relative??? Smh tins I read tho
ReplyDeleteWhen women talk like this, they must ve been through a lot hence they are apeaking from experienc. I will not advise d poster to leave his hubby but be very wise as a serpent. Its too early and unwise for u to start prasing ur hubby when he hasnt seen money. My pastor's wife said "Men change when they make money but that she thank God for giving her d grave to still manage her hubby till now" this is a pastor's wife speaking not to talk of ordinary person. Be wise, dont put all ur love and hope on a man but God, it will definitely takes grace of God for ur hubby to still remain loyal to u when he's made it
ReplyDeleteCongrats poster
ReplyDeleteGood thing you can read the handwriting on the wall! Some ladies Sha... This actually made me sad.
ReplyDeleteGod bless you ma'am! I love your write up especially the "father in law" bit! So true that man may change and disappoint but God the almighty, is an unchangeable changer!
ReplyDeleteNawaooo how can this queen lady say write such ,I hope you are okay . It's really unfair if you to write such please .
ReplyDelete