Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narratives...

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Thursday, 1 September 2016

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narratives...

Tough one!





STAND ALONE NARRATIVE...

DISCLOSING YOUR FINANCIAL WORTH BEFORE THE MARRIAGE

Good day Stellahipsy, please can you kindly help me post this? I believe it would enable me have a wealth of comments/advice with regards to this. Thank you so much.

My church wedding is in 2 months and i'm currently attending the compulsory marriage course. During one of our lectures, we were told that intending couples‎ must disclose their earnings and financial worth 100% to their would be spouse.  This has made me really uncomfortable, reason being that When my husband and I met, we promised never to tell lies to each other and so far, it's been a truthful and transparent relationship‎.

My husband‎ is a very caring and nice person. He tries his best to put smiles on my face and I love him very much. He's the type that believes a man must take care of his family. He's not even interested in whether I have shishi. Lol. 

We just had our traditional marriage ceremony and I didn't contribute a dime to the ceremony as he practically took care of everything even in this hard economy. And we are both from the south east.

Now my fellow bvs, I have my whole life savings of about N1.6M stashed in one of my accounts which I made him believe belongs to someone. But i've been thinking if it would be wise of me to disclose this to him considering the rate at which men change after marriage.  Although I pray there won't be any negative change.. I am afraid because I wouldn't want my husband to discover by himself that I  have an account or money he isn't aware of‎. You know how the devil works. Lol.


This may come as a surprise to him tho if I tell him because he has never imagined me to have such. In his mind, I have less than N200k in my account.
I am jobless for now but my husband is a salary earner. Although I know his monthly earnings and he tells me about his  quarterly bonuses  but he hasn't‎ really told me how much he is worth (not like i'm interested tho). I also know of some other businesses he does and the incomes.

So I've been thinking about this since that day oh.I'm kind of confused, afraid and worried because I don't want to severe the love and trust we've built so far, but at the same time, I don't want to also experience/hear any stories that tickles the anus..  Lol. 

Please Stellahipsy, what do you and my fellow bvs advice? Please help a sister because my head don dey filled with confusion.


Thanx soooo much. May the good lord bless you.



Hmmmm...

186 comments:

stunning slim shady said...

Kronicles ti de. *thinking aloud* u hope Stella doesn't get to faint today.

Anonymous said...

Abeg no o

Ideato/ilaje blood said...

Keep the money. To not disclose. If he ask you can tell him you have little savings, never tell him the amount.

Blackberry said...

Since u have dat amount in ur account, u can come clean, but if it's in millions, lie.

Doppelgänger said...

Better keep it to yourself and take it to your grave.
Whatever you earn after you are properly wedded, you can disclose. It's a man's place to take care of his woman.
Don't take every thing you hear literally In counselling.

calabar Chick said...

Hmmmm...
Just open up to him...
You guys are getting married, you shouldn't hide anything from him except you don't trust him.

Decepticon said...

My dear don't tell him about that money. He would want you to use it so you can be dependant on him. No try am. He is your husband he should task care of you. Only when problem he can't handle comes should you be in out money. When you do claim you borrowed it

Mama Afrika said...

Make me sef follow Stella hmmmmmmm

I am the queen and the boss of this blog said...

Poster,
Hold your ears and listen to me...
Don't ever tell your husband you have such money saved up somewhere!,..
I repeat don't!...
Leave the money where it is and dispose anything that would complicate you!...
That money would be useful one day and you will remember this my comment and smile...
You are new in marriage so you don't know what's up!,..
Don't let love close your eyes!...

stunning slim shady said...

Dear poster since u have told him d money is for someone pls leave it @ that. He might lose trust for u if u confess to him now. Henceforth be truthful n open in d same measure in wich ur hubby is. All d best!

PETER DUMORE said...

I pity you, you are already going into marriage with a wrong impression, that is not the right thing to do!

KEEPING UP WITH SDKB said...

Ok you don't want him to know you're into runs abi? Because he will definitely ask where you get such huge amount of money from? Abeg keep it to yourself jare, na who sincerity help sef?

Highest height said...

Keep the money, but don't give him the impression that you are poor

STARRY LARRY said...

Must you tell him? Please keep it to yourself and if he finally finds out, tell him one of your family kept it with you




*Larry was here*

stunning slim shady said...

*I

Ghana Babe Yayra said...

Hahahaha. I follow beg you, no tell am

Adibuah Felix said...

He hasn't asked you. If and when he does, tell him the truth.

Becky Divine said...

You guys are just starting the journey and you're already writing chronicles? Na wah

I suggest you should stylishly bring up the topic with him(when he is in a good mood). If he doesn't get offended by you asking, then you should ask him how much he is worth. If he tells you, then you should tell him yours as well. So peace will reign

But if he gets offended when you ask him, drop the topic sharpaly and shut your trap!!!
#my opinion

CHI EXOTIC CHI EXOTIC said...

Yimu
What wrong impression?
The money is hers

Poster, better don't tell your hubby about the money
Be wise.

IVORY said...

Why tell him about the account's existence in the first place? The minute you blow that cash,dependence starts. You know your relationship better and only you can decide if you should or not.

Abaraonye Nonye said...

1.6Million?? you are jobless??? I Concur with Stella Hmmm!!! you better tell him except you got the money from runs??

FullGist said...

This is a simple question of "To Tell OR Not To Tell".
What COULD happen if you tell him?: He'll probably see you as d saving type, a home maker, someone who can handle huge sums of money, etc.

What COULD happen if u don't tell him and he FINDS out by himself?: It's very SIMPLE. First he'll be VERY HURT dt u lied to him that d money belongs to someone else,then he'll probably STOP TRUSTING you.

My Conclusion: Tell him,and let him know you are keeping it for d RAINY days, coz IF he finds out by himself, he might start seeing you as a Gold-Digger.

The best amongst the cuties said...

Poster don't tell him anything. What for??? He doesn't need to know abeg. If u like go and talk on ur WN when he starts 'licking ur plate', hehehehe, na u sabi.

Queen Delilah said...

If it's me, i won't tell
So my dear, don't tell him! Just go with your instinct

Anonymous said...

Sorry o poster... U are not working and u have 1.6m in an acc u are not even touching..hoppe its not from a funny way of life. Give us full gist biko.

Queen Delilah said...

Are you a detective? How you take know say she be runs geh? World people sef

sylvia said...

Madam please sow £1000 of your #1.6M into my life and then hide the rest away. God bless you as you do

ChyAdaJesus said...

Poster pls listen carefully ooo. Dont you ever tell him anything ooo.

Pls take the secret to your grave oo. One day this money come in handy then you will be glad you did.

God bless your union dear.

The best amongst the cuties said...

Peter, what impression are u trying to create by commenting up and down? Do u think we are stupid? Abeg abeg, FADE!!!

St.FranKooL.... said...

#Be thankful for the bad things in life. They open your eyes to see the good things you weren't paying attention to before*

Chidinma Grace said...

Don't tell him pls. Just keep it to urself or better still allow him to tell u his own first afterall u both attended same counseling. Support him is he is financially down but don't give all bc rainy days might come someday.

James said...

Madam. First of all. It is tickle the clit not the whatever.

Sewa Joseph said...

from everything you have said, he seems like a genuinely nice guy, I would tell him, he paid for your whole engagement though- he will probably be offended, you too self, you have 1.6mill and you didn't contribute to your engagement thats just terrible of you, i pray God directs you in which way to go about this his grace is abundant.

Anonymous said...

Since he is not asking you, keep it to yourself ni,untill when he eventually does and if you trust him very well you can tell him but if you don't, just tell him half of that amount or something higher but not everything
I wish you all the best

CHILD OF GOD said...

Don't tell him about the money. Was he there when you were saving it? There will be rainy days.
Don't let love fool you

Baby's mummy said...

My dear. Keep the info to yourself. I am married and know what I'm talking about

Beauty Charles said...

Pls do not tell him just save or invest in property.

golden mummy said...

Don't tell him pls. Do a fixed deposit or treasury bills with long tenor.
I don't wish you bad, but if something goes wrong financially with him in future his first point of call will be the millions in your account.
Trust me,the money will be much useful in future and be careful in your utterances.

James said...

Madam. So you are a green snake in green grass . U have been deceiving your horseband. And you expect to be loyal to you in the future.

Anonymous said...

Henhen,so you don reach here?

James said...

*expect him

Anonymous said...

The word is implicate....thank me now

Anonymous said...

So i resumed at my new place of work and the person i am replacing is a BV. Found out while trying to log in to comment. Such a nice lady.

Poster dont say since u have kept it a secret till now. God forbid the going gets one kind, step up with the money.

Mrs. Romas said...

Poster, your mindset about marriage is wrong! That not withstanding, since you told him before that the money belong to someone, i'll advice you tell your husband you have some money in your account, i believe he will not go as far as asking you how much is in your account.
Should in case he asked though, tell him the real amount. A man that single-handedly sponsored your traditional marriage will not be interested in such amount of money.

Don't destroy your home because of money, or because of what you read online. You are a christian, lay the foundation of your home in Christ Jesus which is in love, truth and honesty.

Happy married life.

Omoge Manchester said...

Runs or no runs, don't tell him about the money oooo. He won't change in Jesus name but don't tell him.

bitchplis (BentOuttaShape) said...

U have no business marrying someone u don't trust especially with money.I wonder d kinda families people are from that they have this impression that ur spouse will betray u soon.wat works for me might not work for u but my wife to be has d atm to the account where I keep my money.10% tithe,10% for bills,serenren,and 10% for any unforeseen expenses(I keep that in d oda account n hold d atm),the rest goes to the account n she doesn't release the atm to me for any reason.if I like make I knack head for floor she no go budge...it has saved me a lot though cos I don go out with friends on some occasions that I felt tempted to order for one more round of drinks or carry olosho n get room but d money dey her hand n what will I tell her I wanto use the money for?i trust her that much that's why I can leave my entire worth in her possession n she has never for once messed up.Well,wen u grow up in poverty,thats when u think of money always and take it anytime u have the opportunity to see someone else's money.The only time she withdrew money from that account was when we wanted to sew a seed.Who send me this long life history sef?all this people that are getting married for the wrong reasons sef dey vex me.

Loveme Jeje said...

hmmmmm. you lied to him. When una do white wedding finish, you fit lie and tell him that you save small money.

Dont tell him now if not he will provoke.

Scarlett said...

Hi. never inform him about your cash. just continue saving, because there will come a time when you will need funds. after marriage, kids will follow. Then you will understand what we are talking about. always have your own savings, no matter what.

rob said...

Women always looking for trouble when there is none.... Another idle feminine .

IneedyouJC said...

Madam, do NOT tell him jack. Please, please and please, DO NOT TELL HIM!

crystal said...

Don't ever tell hubby about that account, no matter what. Just allow him be loving you the way he has been. If i had given myself this kind of brain since......

Paul Okah said...

Iyanga de sleep and trouble go jus com wake am! What happened tp trust in a relationship?

Anonymous said...

Don't tell him..

Lemme perch here please..I want to start a biz to support my monthly income.. Abeg I do see girls on instagram selling statement necklaces..pearls.. Sunglasses.. Brooches.. Earrings etc..unique stuff that I know I can sell well at my workplace. Where do they buy?.. Online from abroad??? Eko market (I don waka eko market tire).. Help with info pls.. Thanks Stella. God bless you

PORTABLE VIV the beautiful n sexy queen of sdk blog said...

Why did you tell him in the first place?
No be everything u tell a man.....u lied to him
U can support him in ur own little way but don't let him know dat is from the 1.6

nzube izuu said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
nzube izuu said...

Abeg, transfer the money to my account instead. Let me help you to conceal it. Nne,on a serious note, you should use your discretion. To me, I don't see any big deal in letting your hubby know how much you are worth. It's not as if you guys are still dating. If he can be honest to tell you how much he is worth, what stops you from doing same? The only snag is that you have earlier lied to him that the money belongs to someone. That's why I think it will do you good to transfer the money to me fast fast. Lol.

Decepticon said...

Because you get your own money through runs dsnt mean the poster is a runs girl ok? You know what a job is right? Yea??? Some people actually have that

Queen Bee said...

Don't tell for now,enter the marriage first and see how things will be.if over time sh#t begins to go down,u use the money as ur exit security.am not hoping for things to change or go bad in ur marriage,but one has to be careful these days while hoping for the best cos men lately are too slippery',u will just fall one time'!
Btw invest that money in something or better still fix it rather than leaving it in the account.
Yes!dont tell.

Empress CHO said...

Dear Poster, you do know that even the counsellors do not follow half of what they vomit. In a very ideal situation and relationship, it would be great to be all open.
But then, So many Nigerian relationships are insane, and the widespread patriachy and, weak laws protecting women dictates you be a step ahead and always have back-ups.

Your man who single-handedly sponsored your wedding points to something like you have already noticed.....He gets his ego boost being the main provider, being in charge, playing boss.
Indulge him!!!

Spill about that money, he will forget that being the provider is actually his nature and may start feeling used.
In his eyes, you are the "smart" and possibly manipulative wife.
The next thing is to start half-committing financially, hoarding his money. Then watch you exhaust your stash.
When you become thoroughly drained out, then he rises up with a now messed up mindset to assert his headship.

The after effect will be an unconscious power tussle and continuous monitoring of your finances, before you build such savings again and gain the confidence solid finance gives women.

Assist financially in the little expenses at home....you are just new in marriage.
Soon you will realise that those little expenses and all that allowance supplementation are actually huge and, taking care of them without always bugging your hubby is a relief and a plus at home, while being helpless to attend to them will kill your mystery and breed disdain in no time.
I bet the counsellors did not tell you that.

1.6million is not much oh and you even have no job. If you have a recession-viable business idea, start up something for yourself.
Don't follow love and unrealistic counselling and shoot yourself on the foot...sounds selfish true, but you will be grateful later.
Life has just begun for you.
Decide on time not to end up like many Nigerian wives who only have Mrs title and a lifeless existence.
Establish yourself first before forming financial equal....or you gon choke.
Goodluck!

Maama J said...

sweetheart, please open your ears wide and listen to me. keep that money and do not disclose it. it will be very useful in the near future. my husband is a very wonderful man and provides well for the family but when i disclosed to him what i had saved so far, the need for it appeared.And thats how we started taking from it till everything finished. i was even made to take a loan from work and he promised to be paying me monthly for the deductions from my salary. when i told him the first month that he had not made payment as promised, he said dont worry, i will pay the total amount in bulk. i went cold immediately and never brought it up again to avoid quarrels but i have learnt a great lesson. let me tell you this, if your man knows that you do not have, he will look for a way. only if he is a lazy man.

Chiamaka L said...

Have your husband expressly asked how much your life savings is? If not, then you are in the clear.
If he had asked you and you lied, then you will need to tell him that you have always believed in having something saved up for rainy days... That you actually do have some money you saved up (Hope you can explain how you obtained these monies sha).
If he asks how much, again please do not lie, you can swerve your way out of the question or just say over a million.
I wish you a blissful married life

Okafor Martins said...

Hi, I will tell you this as a guy who has your best interest at hand. Do unto others what you will have them do unto you. Hold your eyes, I repeat "Do unto others what you will have them do to you."

The fact that this guy knows you are not working, and he proposed, then you did traditional marriage and he did not ask you for anything. Babe! This is rare. Don't take advice from people who don't have what you have.

Speak life into your man and he will always have enough not to need yours. If you are of the opinion that someday he will ask you for your money, then you are already being negative my dear.

Tell him the truth before it gets too late. If a bond of trust is broken, it drives people to begin to question every other thing you have told them. Don't let it get to that.

If it ever happens that in the future, he needs your help. Fine! After-all he is your husband, one with you in the sacrament of marriage. Who else would you rather help?

PayUrsula said...

Seconded! Kini ka ana akodi? Don't tell him anything whether love abi na trust Keep that part to urself. U will be happier that way, their is a saying that says A WOMAN's SAVING is a her security.

HRRT said...

I support those that are saying DONT tell him. not because of u exiting incase things goes wrong, but to keep the money for future use. you may need to assist him do some things or help yourself if need be..

Anonymous said...

When one say "my husband's money" or "my money" is it not an anomaly? when one shares everything intimate (including sex); if they can't have funds together; where is the oneness? Hasn't the aim of marriage been defeated? The issue of oneness is in sharing everything. The excuses many give is "I don't trust her to know how much I earn or am worth". If one is a follower of Christ; who did Jesus give "his wallet"; was it not Judas? How much trust did Jesus have for Judas? These are some of the issues that intending spouses should define in courtship.
On a personal note; my husband and I had a common "account" from the moment I accepted to marry him. He decided to put me in charge of every financial spending. He makes contributions and there is no issues about that. There is no account that we have had since marriage that bears one person's name and the mandate is "either to sign". WHEN YOU TALK ABOUT "HIS MONEY" "MY MONEY" hasn't the purpose of marriage been defeated?
Finances usually breeds quarrel among couples and the taste of the pudding is in the eating. Married for more than a decade an NEVER ARGUED is our testimony by the grace of God. When there is concealment of finances, the lady makes demands, suspect the husband of keeping a concubine etc. But when the two are open to each other in the way described above; thee will be no room for mutual suspicion!

A couple we know lived financially apart. The man is reasonably well to do but the wife dared not ask or "take his money". He gave her "handout" of money from time to time; monthly allowances etc. All his businesses were solely in his name. He took ill and his doctor gave him a damning health verdict and he had a surgery fixed. He knew that he may not come out of the theater alive. He quickly summoned his wife and took her to all his accounts and made it Joint and she could sign. Made his kids 'next of kin" in all the accounts and re-registered all his businesses with the wife's name inclusive. Even the financial aspect of the surgery and bills, the wife was in charge. He told her, "If I do not come out of the theater alive, sell all the exotic cars and keep just two" etc. IT WAS NO LONGER AN ISSUE OF THE WIFE TAKING "HIS MONEY"; THE WOMAN WAS IN CHARGE. He confessed certain misdeeds to the lady and they prayed together and he got into the theater. AFTER 9 HOURS OF SURGERY, the news came . . . he survived it! It was this singular experience that changed his attitude towards family finances as concerns his wife. She knew about every penny that dropped or left the "family business" as it became.

Then he said to them, "Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions." (Luke twelve vs. fifteen)

ada abraham said...

You could help him with it when he really needs it, that way he won't be bothered about you keeping it a secret!!!

Anonymous said...

So on point.

chixzy said...

Please come out clean n d tell him everything. Dat is TRUST

Uyi DaWORDSlayer said...

Its a young/fresh marriage why start with lies? women are the most partial set there is. Always rushing to cover up their secrets but ifs a man you peeps cry blue murder.

omonye enas said...

Please poster tell your husband...

Anonymous said...

Poster please take this advice

j baby said...

If you think coming out clean will make you have a rest of mind then give that money to your mum to present it as a wedding gift to you, your mum would say she was saving if for a day like this, giving this to her daughter to assist start something for herself in her husband house, that won't mk your husband question the money, you can decide to put it in a fixed deposit depending on when you decide on what to do with it or start a business with it.

Chiamaka L said...

`

Anonymous said...

Maybe complicate her life...hahahhahahh

PayUrsula said...

Keep the money and shut up, the money will be used to save a situation in ur marriage and then he will appreciate and love u the more, so is not as if u want to be unfaithfull just save it as a security marriage money. Thank me later.

Chikito The Professional Runs Girl said...

The fact that you told him it was someone already means your lieing. That's such a bad example. People here saying you should not tell him don't mean you well. Yes ALL OF THEM. You have described an honest man to me and you pay him back with dishonesty? Who enters into marriage with negativity? 'You know how men change' Says who?? Is it all men that change? If you think hes gonna change then kukuma back out. Let me tell you that N1.6 is chicken change. When you have children you will know that that's coins. Better tell your husband and make sure both of you invest that money in something that will benefit everyone later. Like land or business in both names. Money in the bank is no money. Especially as the naira is crashing. Better be a pillar wife and don't be forming like your smart and then you realise your folly when it's too late. I've said my own.

Anonymous said...

How can you claim to love someone yet lie and deceive the same person? Is it this same love we read in the scriptures or another type?

1 Corinthians 13:4

4 LOVE IS patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with THE TRUTH. 7 It always protects, always TRUSTS, always hopes, always perseveres.

SteffySoFynSoFly said...

if keeping the money in bulk is giving you issues invest with it, buy a piece of land or something, if he ever finds out tell him you inherited it. be smart it will help in a rainy day.

Anonymous said...

I wish I can like your comment. Here's my little story. I got married few months ago. Few wks before, I and hubby (to be then) discussed extensively about finances. He kept pushing for me to tell what I have saved up. I earn 200k monthly but I've been able to save up 20 million over 4 years (because I took advantage of the forex boom a while ago). As soon as I told him this, there was silence and then he called me a big girl. Note that hubby earns almost 4 times my salary but hasnt saved this much.A week b4 wedding, he made me liquidate 10m out of it in exchange for forex which he added to his own forex and fixed it in his name alone. Right now, he has been subtly asking for the remaining one to be exchanged as well and fixed in his name. As I speak, he doesn't care for me financially cos I am a "big girl". At least not until I give him the remaining 10m. I wish I could turn the hands of d the time back. Dear poster, Please keep quiet!

Anonymous said...

I wish I can like your comment. Here's my little story. I got married few months ago. Few wks before, I and hubby (to be then) discussed extensively about finances. He kept pushing for me to tell what I have saved up. I earn 200k monthly but I've been able to save up 20 million over 4 years (because I took advantage of the forex boom a while ago). As soon as I told him this, there was silence and then he called me a big girl. Note that hubby earns almost 4 times my salary but hasnt saved this much.A week b4 wedding, he made me liquidate 10m out of it in exchange for forex which he added to his own forex and fixed it in his name alone. Right now, he has been subtly asking for the remaining one to be exchanged as well and fixed in his name. As I speak, he doesn't care for me financially cos I am a "big girl". At least not until I give him the remaining 10m. I wish I could turn the hands of d the time back. Dear poster, Please keep quiet!

bakejimmy said...

starting your family with lie is very wrong. well i will suggest you be transparent to each other if you really need trust in this marriage. if you start with a lie, lies will multiply. be open as much as possible.

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Anonymous said...

Wow! Just wow! You throughly analyzed the situation and gave a detailed and realistic answer! I wish you were my friend. Poster you hear? I couldn't have said it better myself.

Lala Anthony said...

Do not disclose that money o
See, marriage is a wonderful institution. At first, it's smooth sailing so much u ll want to do anything for your spouse. But there comes a time when it won't be all rosy, when your sanity might be threatened, mind u, dats not my prayer for you. But if and when dos turbulent times does come, the thought of that your money which to a large extent is your security, will be comforting.
It is said that the truth will set you free but sometimes, dat truth can be ur undoing while a little lie can actually be ur saving grace. Sometimes, selfishness is just self-preservation. Think about it.

Anonymous said...

Supu!

Complicate ko, configure ni!

That would Complicate you - Bad English
That would implicate you - Good English

Oyibo bu Agbara!

Anonymous said...

Yes. You have spoken like what you are..., a man! No one here has said she shouldn't help her man should the need ever arise. It will never arise ijn. Should the need arise you bring and help your man. If he asks where from, you tell him you had a little something stashed all this while, like every prudent woman should. Just that it's not necessary now to tell him about that money. Please listen to women who have gone into this marriage business before you and learn from them.

Anonymous said...

Wow! Just wow! You throughly analyzed the situation and gave a detailed and realistic answer! I wish you were my friend. Poster you hear? I couldn't have said it better myself.

Briish Queen said...

If he didn't ask you. Do Not tell him. And if he ask you, deduct 1million from it and tell him the balance is what you have... kpele. Let God lead you

Anonymous said...

I am thinking that you should be open to your husband, trust him enough to tell him everything about you. It really depends on the kind of person he is. I would tell. And then watch what happens - still in the process of learning who he really is. Is he genuinely generous??? This kind of test on a man should have been performed way before serious commitments like trad, to give you enough time to think and rethink should he react negatively. My two cents.

Anonymous said...

Sweetie there is no such thing as full disclosure in marriage! Your husband doesn't need to know EVERYTHING about you. Like telling him details about past relationships or past indiscretions. Likewise this. I don't blame you for lying to him about the money before, you guys were just dating, you didn't know how it would end. No point exposing yourself to someone who may have scammed you outta your life savings. But going forward, Full disclosure. When you get a job and start earning. A real man won't even have time to be close marking your finances sef, he would be too busy trying to cater for his family.

PLATINUM said...

Poster please dont allow love to make u tell him how much u hv, it doesnt matter for now still pretend u dnt hv bt after about 10yrs in marriage n he still doesnt change u cn then come clean biko

jay urchy said...

I don't think he is the kind of guy that will be interested in ur money. It is very wrong to start a new home wit lies. You may not mention the amount, but insisted u want to contribute for the wedding. Playfully tell him you have more money than he thinks. Tho not much but a reasonable amt in that account u said wasn't yours. And that you like to save for rainy days. And you have actually been saving it to assist in the wedding.

for discount shipping fee on jumia contact me. said...

99% of bvs majorly would tell you not to tell him.but in all honesty it obvious you suspect something will go wrong in your marriage. When you can't trust your man with your money then its a bad omen.that money you are hiding will be a catalyst in destroying your marriage because 'after I have some money I can run away with and save myself' will come ringing at the slightest problem you may have in your marriage, ever marriage will have issues but how you handle it differentiates successful from unsuccessful marriages. Like some will say 'no let (devil) money use you o'.love without reservation no matter what the outcome will be.be proud to say I give it my all even though many bvs will call it stupidity but in actuality true love is actually stupid but again who love EPP.the choice is yours

Mizz Majesty said...

Aunty poster let sleeping dogs lie...You already lied about it before...you lost your chance to say the truth without complications...
mizz majesty is now a valid ID on sdk...watch out for me
*evil laughter* *runs away*

Yummy chick cum mummy said...

Pls say nothing. He will make sure u finish spending... Kip it as a vex money... Use ur brain nor heart

jay urchy said...

God bless you Okafor Martins for your comment. Honesty pays. My husband does not send my money. During trad and wedding he didn't let me spend my money,even tho I was working.

Yummy chick cum mummy said...

Yay!!!!! Bitchpls is back... Where v u bin??

Anonymous said...

How can you expect love and honesty when you can't even give same to the person you claim you love? What is wrong with this generation?

Atheist. said...

I see.
Which means if the reverse is the case, its ok for a man to lie about his true finance to his woman in the start of a new relationship.
He could make he has more when he actually has way less, or vice versa. Lol.

Anonymous said...

Bitchplis, the serial SnM playboy. When will you finally marry,UNCLE?

Anonymous said...

He would find out one day and your world may come crumbling down.. Do you know what resentment does to a marriage? Go ask your mother..

I am the queen and the boss of this blog said...

You sound like a broke ass,a gold digger and a leech!...
What do you mean by it's rare to see a woman not contributing in their marriage plans?...
All the men I know don't take any dime from their women during their marriage preparations...
I doubt if you are an Igbo person!...
Go and make money biko!...

Anonymous said...

Children who are still been handed stipends by their guardians advising you to hide and break the trust you both have promised to share.... Madam you better do the right thing. Don start thinking like a failure and pessimist before the marriage even starts...

Musingsofjudgejudyjudy..... said...

Very well said. See it this way, the money is the little on the side you are keeping in case things get tough at any point and he is flat broke, you can then present it to him.
Please do not disclose that the money is yours!

vincent cent said...

Now I can see why we have so many single ladies, why the man that is about to get married on November 5th met some ladies here earlier and it didn't go far...so a man with such attributes don't deserve to know the truth...it's ok....

I am the queen and the boss of this blog said...

Why would she contribute to her marriage?...
Is she getting married to her self?...
This is a taboo where I come from!....

Mao Akuh said...

Why are you on her case? Easy woman.

nneka cinderella said...

You see y I always have issues with all this church people, they tell you to do, when they won't do. My dear don't even try it, don't tell him shikum.... If he gives you money, tell him thank sir and close your mouth. Before you tell him now, and tomorrow he will want to borrow, and of course u know he won't return but if na bank give am him go return with interest. Abeg better stay your lane, and look bush. >It will only end in praise<

Anonymous said...

It's only the men that are saying poster should tell her hubby. Why should men be interested in their wives account. When it's time to be the head of the family,you want to know the amount of money your wife has so she can support. When it's time to listen to your wife and ask for her opinion, you want to be the head. Poster keep your money safe. 1.6m naira isn't a lot. Just look for ways to invest and have more.

Musingsofjudgejudyjudy..... said...

I love how your mind works, Empress!!! I'm sure I've said this before!

Anonymous said...

God bless you plenty.

Anonymous said...

1000 likes to Becky

Mao Akuh said...

Its good to disclose according to God's Word. The 2 shall become 1, but with what's happenning in our society, the men can't or won't tell their partners how much they are worth. To me o, you can tell him you have some savings because he can't expect a lady like you not to have savings. Use wisdom,girl you know him better than we not necessarily the actual amount.

Anonymous said...

Bitchplis just shut up!! 4 your mind now. Pedophile giving advice too? Oh my days

Anonymous said...

Empress Cho coming under anon to praise herself!! Kwakwakwa oriewgu

Cissy said...

hmmm...CHILD OF GOD??

La'creamie said...

What is this one saying??? If it runs nko,,,abeg swerve

I'veBeenTouchedByAnAngelWithLove said...

I think you should just let him know you're worth more than he thinks, you don't necessarily have to tell him the exact figure in your bank account but please create the impression that you are worth more than 200k.
*God bless my Angel in human form*

Anonymous said...

Since you already lied to him and I guess you feel guilty,you know what he's like so try to release info to him gradually. His reaction to the info will advise you on whether to proceed with telling him the truth or to keep it to your self. My advice tho.

Anonymous said...

Poverty mentality. How much is 1.6 that you can't disclose. What if you disclose and he helps you invest it wisely. Money wey no get value. Or he gives you advice on what to trade in. Nigerians always thinking back ward.

Precix confectionery. Abeokuta.... 08037758532 said...

Well said

Anonymous said...

Women are full of shit and unnecessary drama.

Madam imagine you having negative thoughts already before marrying smh. What do you mean by "After marriage men change"? So you join those lame people out there to think the same way what a pity! Can't you think towards positive things and hope for a better life/marriage.

Na you sabi sha. You are what you say you are.


Please the decision for you to disclose your account bal. to your hubby, should be entirely your decision and not church's. It is good you keep it a secret for raining days my dear. You can't be sure always.




Mother Nature

Anonymous said...

Life saving ,life savings !!! You can save that much if you want to

LAS GidDY said...

Women sha! You guys promise to tell the truth always. He has been faithful to this by declaring his monthly income among others but you with-held yours and also lied that it belongs to someone else...because its "your life saving". Too bad I must say.

By your action, security and trust is already lacking in this marriage and its gonna come around with a mighty thud...on you of course because your husband came clean.

It beats me flat that every woman wants a perfect man yet they are not ready nor willing to come clean.

Starjoy said...

You can tell him but not the exact figure.

pinky peters said...

Nice one.

Anonymous said...

I am Igbo for sure, but our girls no be am at all. Everything is 'money money money'!! Tufiaaa

theresa urateh said...

Babe..since u didn't tell him b4, I tink u shld still hold it still! But make sure jus u knos abt d money..meaning no frnds or family dat kno cos 2mao, dey might bust u open! Den,on d other hand there's nothing wrong in telling him now...just say the preaching touched u n u decided to open up! Just DAT wot I'm scared abt is some men wen u tell dem dat, 2mao dey will come n say pls borrow me this ..till d money finishes, dey will never refund!....well, if u decide to tell him,tell him half, like u got like 600 not 1.6m! N if ur not telling den b VERY careful cos d devil also works in misterious ways!
Gudluck!

theresa urateh said...

Babe..since u didn't tell him b4, I tink u shld still hold it still! But make sure jus u knos abt d money..meaning no frnds or family dat kno cos 2mao, dey might bust u open! Den,on d other hand there's nothing wrong in telling him now...just say the preaching touched u n u decided to open up! Just DAT wot I'm scared abt is some men wen u tell dem dat, 2mao dey will come n say pls borrow me this ..till d money finishes, dey will never refund!....well, if u decide to tell him,tell him half, like u got like 600 not 1.6m! N if ur not telling den b VERY careful cos d devil also works in misterious ways!
Gudluck!

Cissy said...

@ Emp...kisses darl & a Happy New Month.
@ poster, what he doesn't know won't kill him. You've kept mum since day one about the fund, so continue. What if you tell him and it 'backfires' , making him feel bad that yu had such money and dint even contribute during your Trads. He is playing his manly role to the fullest let him continue. Your Instinct is telling you not to tell him hence the Chronicle...follow your Instinct
Invest the money somewhere secure and forget about it.

BLUNT said...

Atheist, are you minding the retarded nitwit? I wish you knew the type of girls dishing out all these ghetto-inspired comments. You need to meet one of them in person. You'd then understand why they give out such disgusting pieces of advice. A very good number of them are divorces. Women that were kicked out of marriage for various transgressions ranging from adultery to cheating. The others are over-aged aunties with worn out bodies, rueing the avalange of missed opportunities in their filthy lives. They want to poison the minds of these young girls coming here to seek for advice so that they'd end up like them. Why else would any sane person advice her to hide anything from such a very rare gentleman? How many Naija men still believe a man should cater for the home 100%? This guy should be appreciated.

2B8DC62D said...

1million likes. Your profile name confused my impression of you. Lol @chikito.
And as for you poster. Another simple way, put yourself in his shoes, that what if he hide such from you. How would you feel? All the best!

Ada bekee said...

Please change your name to the good advisor. Runs girl no fit you. Dear poster what you sow is what you reap. And right now you are starting on a wrong foundation. Listen to Chikito's advise.

Ada bekee said...

Please change your name to the good advisor. Runs girl no fit you. Dear poster what you sow is what you reap. And right now you are starting on a wrong foundation. Listen to Chikito's advise.

Anonymous said...

Chikito The Professional Runs Girl, na devil go spoil ur own! Poster, if you like tell him ehn! Do NOT tell that man!

Joke said...

God bless you. What's the point of getting married then if you plan to treat him that way? He tells you everything but you can't? Wow! Do not take all that's said during counselling buy be wise. The Bible says that two becomes one. Do you know what that means? How will you feel when you know that your husband earns more than he told you or has such account somewhere? Start your marriage right girl. But then, you know him better but don't get married to a man you don't trust. Please be careful and pray. I share all with my husband and I have no regrets.

victor vicuz said...

Chikito, sometimes you give good advice and you blog ID doesn't do you justice. Change it as someone new will be put off by that name if he or she is looking for people to get advice from.

Anonymous said...

Chikito,u HV sense abeg. U really nailed it on the head

Joke said...

Why do women find it difficult to understand the importance of supporting their husband financially? Well, maybe the man. Poster do to get married with this mindset. It's Obvious the guy is good. Spending for once wedding gives you some satisfaction tho. But then we are all from different school of thought. Can you borrow him your money sef?
I also think the money ain't clean......you are jobless with 1.6m

Mary said...

😘

victor vicuz said...

I like the way you advised her. It is like sitting on the fence. You know your husband to be, better than anyone here and you only will enjoy or suffer in the marriage. No matter how tall a building is built, if the foundation is poor, it is only a matter of time before the building collapse. The choice is yours alone to make

MUMMY SINACH said...

Please keep it to yourself.

Mary said...

One of the reasons the institution is falling. Divorce everywhere.

victor vicuz said...

It is funny how people assume the tragedy that happen in their life will automatically apply to everybody. There are bad and dishonest men around so also women (maybe greater). There are lot of good men and women also. The issue is that when one in a happy marriage (they are many) comes to brag about her happiness, everyone is quick to condemn her for showing off but will readily acknowledge any story of a bad union. That's why people who are enjoying what relationship is supposed to be hardly talk and it will look like only bad relationships are thriving.

I will advice this lady again to stop making decisions from blogs as you won't get what you want or might be deceived. No 2 marriage is the same. You know your guy, don't let fear of the unknown spoil whatever relationship you intent starting.

Anonymous said...

Chikito- very classically sensible advice. But my darling- na so me sef carry believing go dey teh my husband anything because he dey selfless. Well, na me dey feed the family carry plenty burden now o. Dear Poster, you dont have to join our league. Do your mouth- "FEM"! I don talk my own.

Anonymous said...

If you tell most men you have money, they won't rest till that money finishes. They keep asking, taking and saying they will pay back but money you no go ever see. A female minister of God once said in a church meeting I attended that it is not compulsory to have a joint account or for your husband too know what you have. All in all, it depends on the couple

bukola fagbemiro said...

1. Not all men are the same, the same way not all women are the same.
2. Do you truly love your husband?
3. Are you sincere and straightforward with me?
4. Do you want to start your marriage based on secrets and lies?
5. You may say that you don't want to tell him how much is in your account but if he knows later, what would you say? So you would start Begging him and come back here to say he has lost trust in you.
6. Some men don't care about what their woman have or how much they worth. So think wisely.

bitchplis (BentOuttaShape) said...

anon 15/29 I'm still better than ur father,i mean the stupid one that refused to use a condom n increased the number of idiots on earth.oo ni make e

Anonymous said...

Jide nti gi aka and hear me. Don't you ever disclose that money to your husband. I guess you want to cry when you see that gown you love but no money to pay. Am sorry for you oo

QUEEN AMY Loves ACCESS BANK said...

Chikoto's advice is good but can go with only few percentage of men in this country. So Doppel advice is better, please blunt dnt call her any retard.

QUEEN AMY Loves ACCESS BANK said...

Please poster listen to Empress, wish I can narrate why am hammering on this.

Robyna Fenty said...

Exactly! She shldnt have lied in the first place. How on earth are you gonna go meet him and tell him the money is yours? Besides when he was spending during your trad marriage wasn't your conscience pricking you? I believe it's always safe to have something set aside for a rainy day. It will be wiser to have your own money but not because all men are bad like most of the posters are claiming but because of an emergency. I won't be surprised if your husband has something likr that too. Since your conscience is now bugging you, tell him you've been getting donations from your side of your family. Present him with 600k plus your other 200k and tell him you want to start a joint account or a business. It sounds like you are marrying a good man. He deserves better. He will respect you knowing you are bringing something to the table aside your body. Also if you guys ever hit a rough patch in the future and you present him wthe rest of the money, he'll love you even more. In a nutshell, tell him, but not the whole amount of money.

I am the queen and the boss of this blog said...

Gbam!...

I am the queen and the boss of this blog said...

Kwakwakwakwa at pedophile...

Anonymous said...

You earn 200k per month and you have 20million in 4 years.just doesn't add up unless I'm missing something.

Anonymous said...

Oloriburuku omo ajaarabuka. Do you know how much 10Pounds is now? With the dollar/Naira rating and other forex rates, ordinary £10, is N5,000, then £100 is N50something thousand, not to now talk of £1000 which is N500,000 plus. Out of N1.6 million that is her total life savings.

May Ahmadioha strike your entire generation dead. Yahoo girl, lazy buffoon, dirty slut, road side beggar.

Better change your hustle or channel that begging to hanging your legs on the window too as most of you here already suggested the money was gotten from her runz.

Bastard! Make she go dey open her own toto to come carry the money dash you. May you weep endlessly.

Jennah said...

My husband knows the amount I have in bank account and He never ask me about it. He always advise me to look for a way to invest with it. So I see no reason why the poster should not tell her husband about it.

Anonymous said...

My sister, listen to my advice carefully, don't make the mistake of telling a man about how much you have. Don't dare it. If a man is willing to take care of you the WY your hubby is doing, just be appreciative and be a good wife to him. Don't go and spoil him oooooh, the reality in marriage is much more than meets the eye, keeping your money from your hubby does not mean you don't love him, love and finances are not the same. I am happily married for 8years now to a good man, but disclosing my financial worth is my biggest mistake, to get money from hubby is very difficult and he makes me contribute to almost every project he has, while I practically take care of myself. All these bcos he knows I have money. And am a very stubborn woman oooo who can stand her ground. My dear you don't want to fight this battle. Learning from the experience of others is the best way to learn. Keep your mouth shut.

Anonymous said...

Blunt, you disappoint me yet again. Your abuse of Doppel is uncalled for and not necessary to prove your point. You are not as classy as I thought. Anyway, that's her opinion and since you don't know the place she's coming from that makes her think that way, let her be!

Anonymous said...

Poster your instincts are telling you something. It is important you pray about this and think very well about your doubts. Also seek the advice of mature and wise counsellors, other married people. Don't sweep this under the carpet, you need to deal with this issue now before you get married, so it doesn't become a big issue when you are married.

Anonymous said...

A man should not be interested in his wife money in the first place. Only a broke as nigga does that. Take up your responsibility as a man abeg. If the husband is interested in what she has or don't have, then he is an irresponsible man. Abeg Park well, instead of thinking of the next big money spinning idea, u are talking about trust.all these small boys dat have not experienced life will start talking rubbish. Wait and see life first, all these romantic ideas will vamoose from your head.

Chikito The Professional Runs Girl said...

Okay! Okay!! Will change name 🙄🙄
Poster don't listen oh! N1.6 is too small to loose the trust of your loving husband. If the reverse was the case how would you feel? Is 1.6 m money? Heheh. Na wa ooohhh. Poster don't build your home on a shaky foundation. Test him with this one truth and see how he behaves and so you know how to handle him for the rest of your marriage. And Heaven will vindicate you because you did right. A marriage is between you, him and God. Please, don't do because of x and x then you go and offend God in your marriage. N1.6 Na chicken change ooohhh. I don tell you oh. Make una invest that money. Let him bring like 1.4 and you invest in a money making venture in this buharinomics. As a single girl, The only money I keep in bank as cash is rounded to the next 1m. Once e reach 500k extra I don invest the other 500 in one of my easy access businesses. That one doubles the money in 6 months. So both capital and profit go into my account. That means in 8 months I have two million. And the cycle continues.
I have left suitable bachelors because I dislike their money spending habits and couldn't agree any less with their ways. My current bf accounts for his money very well on a personal spreadsheet he has for years. I've opened up to him about my finances becaus he opened up to me about his first. All his pay checks and all. He never asks for money but he gives me his and I show him how to invest better cos he has confidence in my decisions. Even if we don't get married, we will make good business as partners and I know it. Please don't repay good for evil. That money isn't worth it. I think I've said enough.

Anon 19:28- sorry my sister but no two marriages are the same. This poster has a good man. I think they deserve to be honest with each other.

Mrs anonymous said...

You have a good man and u lied to him till traditional wedding and couldn't make corrections?You are scared of him changing?You already have negative thoughts over your marriage.May God help you and save good men from deceitful wives.Between,how much is 1.6 in this economy.Purge ur self of poverty mentality and start thinking & planing BIG with ur spouse so doors will open for you.

Chikito The Professional Runs Girl said...

Thank you Joke. A poster posted here about having 30 something million in her bank she she was scared to tell future hubby. That one sef I go understand if you don't tell him about all. Cos man fit fear. But N1.6m?? Too small an amount to be hiding. Tell him andinvest the money make e dey bring returns. Shikena

Chikito The Professional Runs Girl said...

1.6?? Runs?? Chicken feed money. Abeg park well!! It's people like you that see girls with iPhone 6 as runs girls. So and wash your brain with coconut oil

Chikito The Professional Runs Girl said...

Thank you

Chikito The Professional Runs Girl said...

Abeg swerve!! @anon 15:12

Chikito The Professional Runs Girl said...

Anonymous what's all this abuse for?? Nonsense!!!

Anonymous said...

A billion likes Empress.

Anonymous said...

That is your husband. There is a reason why poster is having reservations. Ok your husband doesn't send your money, did you disclose fully to him how much exactly you are worth?

Poster said...

Lol. Thnx Chikito

Anonymous said...

Anon 21:59 didn't u see the part she Said she took advantage of forex biz.

Poster said...

Lol. I'm nt a green snake oh James!

Poster said...

Wow!! @ annon 16:20.
The lord is ur strength.

Poster said...

Tnx martins

Anonymous said...

Seriously, men coming for single mingle should be wary of the type of women they meet here.

Most women are advising that she should not disclose to her man.

Look, what is marriage if not oneness and togetherness? If you are lieng to a man whom you have described as responsible is a very bad thing to start your marriage with.
Please forget about this failed women here, you know your man better than we do and everyone's relationship is different, you should know his strength and weakness.
You can try and find a way of telling him if you know the money is clean because if he gets to know you better about it, he will definitely change towards you.

I have been dating my girlfriend for like 6yrs now, and we have a successful business together, which we have our daily jobs.
I know how much she has but I don't spend her money with her
She is in charge of all my finances, because she is very good with money management coz I spend extravagantly.
She gives me breakdown of all credits and debits without any issues.
I trust my baby so much and I know she can never disappoint me... But I will never be happy if I find out she has money somewhere not known to me....
I can't wait to pop the question when I come back from this trip.

Anytime I Need money, she will first of all question me and seriously I really enjoy it.
It might not work for everyone, coz we are all different after all.

Poster there are millions of working relationship and marriages out there, forget all what this failed bad belles are saying, don't start your marriage on doubt, insecurity and lies, you gave a good man, please hold him tight, nobody is perfect, how will you feel if your man is lieing to u too?

Anyafulugo1 said...

Why worrying ur head for an amount so small, am tempted to think that your type won't make a good wife. A typical well raised Igbo son don't live off women, only lazy ass guys do. Better come clean with that change in ur account so your DH can advise u better on how to put it to good use.

earthquake said...

So why ask a girl to pay for her own wedding in igbo land? Biko where I come from its only ladies over the age of 45 will that!It's tagged as desperation from the girls part

dazzlinstar said...

Questions like these makes you wonder what's has become of our society as regards marriage.if you can't disclosè all you have to your spouse, then why marry him? It simply means you don't love him enough.There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives away fear (1John4:18) You can't say you 'love someone so much' and you don't trust them 100%. Like someone suggested above, depending on who you know your fiancé to be, he can help you invest the funds but because of the myopic societal view on marriage these days, most people would advise you not to disclose. My suggestion: if you don't know your fiancé that much, it isn't too late to know him by asking questions and letting him see your concerns about every of your fears. If you're marrying with fear of a potential divorce, then you're already conceiving failure in your mind. Don't forget where your treasure is, there your heart will be. Speak to God about your issues and trust him to guide you. Cheers.

Greenland said...

Poster, follow Chikito's advice. You are praying that your husband won't change but you are believing he will, to me, that sounds contradictory. How much is 1.6m that you can't disclose to someone you are gonna be married to? If you can't trust him with your money, then don't go ahead with the marriage. On the other hand, you can try him with a little amount, maybe life 500k and see how he reacts, then you will know what to do.

Anonymous said...

Dear chilkito pls advise me on how to invest my money in my Nigerian account as I don't live in Nigeria and don't have any trusted person to manage it in business. I really would love to get returns from that money instead of leaving it lye in the Bank. Thanks

Anonymous said...

She sounds like the type to have a hidden stash of money somewhere, lmao.

Anonymous said...

Poster, you know your man more than anyone here. What will happen if you tell him? If you were my sister, I will advice you don't tell him unless you are sure he will not start asking you to use your money to do stuff around the house if you do. I have heard a lot of stories about how some guys tell their wife to handle feeding and some expenses in the house these days.

He may be willing to take on all expenses now because you are not working but please talk to him and find out if he expects you to start paying some of the bills once you have a job. That will give you an idea whether to tell or not. Every woman needs to be financially independent/have something tucked away for the rainy day.

As long as you know you will be willing to spend the money on the family if there is great need that cannot be avoided, you can keep it to yourself and he will appreciate the help if ever it becomes necessary render it.

Just list him as your next of kin until you have kids, then you can change it to the eldest kid if you want. Also get him to list you as his next of kin. Wish you all the best in your marriage.

Ajebo Confidential said...

Call the diaspora office in your bank and ask for treasury bills. Inflation is over 16% . Your money's worth now will not be the same next year. Do this to buy time before you find something with higher returns.

Anonymous said...

How are you SURE he has told you EVERYTHING he owns financially?
WOMEN! They can be so gullible! Blinded with love! Iyawo, as your instinct told you to keep quiet about your life savings, you better follow it before you send another chronicles here! And who is that person talking about poverty mentality? Is it easy to save #1.6m? With the way people beg here for 5k and #200 RC, you dare say poverty mentality? Be forming big man behind your computer then you will go and beg sdk for giveaway!

Anonymous said...

its not about lying. its about been smart. Poster be smart. some men once you tell them you have money. OYO is your new name. they collect until its all gone. the others will stylishly pretend to encourage you but will reduce your allowances so you can top up. the koko is to be smart. a smart woman will keep her home. be wise. u don't need to tell your hubby everything, neither will he do same. Marriage is a school of sense. LG

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