Are these group of men those with cupboard mentality or are they right?
''Stella, kindly post this in your couch session so different views can be aired.
Growing up in a family which comprised of both guys and ladies, we were trained to work hard in school and hustle. I schooled in a federal university in the west which has accommodation for students but because of the neat freak that I am, I opted to rent a self contained apartment outside school and this became a part of me.
From that time onward till now, I have always stayed alone. From University to NYSC and when I started working , I enjoy living alone, I have friends. a fiancΓ© and family but after work or spending time with my loved ones, I prefer to come back to the privacy of my own house. its like my sanctity from the craziness of the world. My two elder sisters stayed alone before they got married, its like the norm in my family, nobody sees any big deal to it.
my parents do not believe it is over protectiveness that keeps a lady decent. Their motto is do your best to instil the right values in a child and submit them to God when they are adults and trust that they will not depart from it.
So imagine my surprise when I met a guy during the first S and M and after we went on a date in a restaurant in VI, he asked who I stay with and I said alone and his countenance changed. I asked why and he said he doesn't think a lady that stays alone can be decent and ladies always need someone around to guide and monitor them.
I was like 'huh?', I couldn't relate to it.
I do not mean to brag but my husband will be the first man I sleep with and I have stayed alone for years, so his opinion doesn't hold any water, at least in my case. His pre-colonial mindset put me off and needless to say, that was the last time I saw him. I got even more pissed when he asked if I will consider moving back to my parents house so we can have a future together .
I am due to marry in a couple of weeks but I am asking this now for my friend/colleague, I would refer her here to read comments. She is going through a similar issue, her boyfriend insists she moves to her aunt's house and he doesn't like the idea of her living on her own. She asked for my opinion and I have decided to throw the question open.
Is something wrong with a single lady living alone?
does staying under your parents till you move into your husband's guarantee that you will remain decent? don't girl's do runs right under their parents' nose? Maybe other single ladies can learn from the diverse mindsets that will be expressed here.
Thank you Stella for posting
Anon 14:51 and Chijioke, she clearly stated the guy she met was from the first s n m. The first s n m was like 2 years ago na. There has been enough time for her to meet her fiance after that.
ReplyDeleteposter, please, if your friend feels comfortable staying alone. ... There's nothing bad. Pesin wet wan do wetin E want go still do am... If you like, put am for prison sef. It's all about self discipline.
....... that doesn't " makes" me unintelligent.
ReplyDeleteMrs Romas, who do you this kind thing?
ππππππππ
@ Doppel ππππ
ReplyDeleteYou are less than 25 and you insult people that are way older than you with no respect always talking like someone suffering from Verbal diarrhoea
Take that seriously, and you believe anything
DeleteThere's nothing wrong in living alone as a single lady,its just myopic to feel since she stays alone then she's sleeping with all the guys,although i must say that you are more exposed to make certain choices like bringing ur bf around,clubbing,night crawling,abeggi,life can't be that serious na,its good to do those things once in a while(my opinion o!).Even if u stay with parents u would still find a way to sleep with bf if u want to. I stay with my parents and it can be so annoying when they want to know every little detail abt ur life,the privacy is a good thing,plus other benefit
ReplyDeleteAll I could see was my fiancΓ©, my husband is the only one I've slept with, I'm getting married in a few. Biko which is it? And what are you doing inside S and M?
ReplyDeleteFirst S&M was like a year ago, no? Couldn't she have met someone and gotten engaged within this period???
ReplyDeleteFirst S&M was like a year ago, no? Couldn't she have met someone and gotten engaged within this period???
ReplyDeleteFirst S&M was like a year ago, no? Couldn't she have met someone and gotten engaged within this period???
ReplyDeleteThere are exceptions to every rule. But the fact remains that most ladies that live alone in Nigeria do it in order to carry different men. And if you are lumped with the majority so be it. Life ain't fair. Some landlords will not even rent to single ladies bc of all the wahala and strange male visitors that will be visiting the house at odd hours.
ReplyDeleteWickedness with different excuses goin round useless same old cycles
ReplyDeleteAny parent who keeps 30yrs and above both male & female still living under their parents' roof are Completely Irresponsible
Imagine houses with over 30yrs adults not even just one sef that's bad enough but countless, jam-packed like...
Doppel on point like always...Im a big fanπ
ReplyDeleteIdeato claims in "My" house when it's forever your parents house whether they rented it or not. Go get yours at your age as if you are even a virgin in your parents' house on top of wierd claims
ReplyDeleteNzuube I am replying the writer o... Pls shift,,,,uncouth ke!
ReplyDeleteIdioto, what u lov endlessly is killin u cos someone "troll" u back just once; see ya life?
ReplyDeleteOmd!!!! Faith martins, aka blogbrity aka IDEATO bride/foool, doppelgΓ€nger FINISHED you! Like chi said, take your L in good faith. Faith, you are a fool! And I'm glad people see the 2 faced you. 697 use ideato to spill bile and then blogbrity to act all innocent. Some of us knew when you started out on this blog dear. You can deceive some, but not all.. and too bad for you, your info is out for the world to see.
ReplyDeleteFor those wanting to treat this chimpanzees f'uk, her name is FAITH MARTIN(s).. very stupid fool.
Yes Ideato. You need my help pondering about yours?
ReplyDeleteKadybia, you are intelligent. She said first Single and Mingle
ReplyDeleteThere is nothing wrong in a woman living alone. What if she was transferred from work to a location where she has no family? Even when she marries, what if her husband is transferred to another location, won't she leave alone?
ReplyDeleteLmao @ WATER DISPENSER
ReplyDeleteHahaha
ReplyDeleteHahahaha
ReplyDeleteLmao, Ideato the Idiota !!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteDumbEr DumbEr DumbeSt
Lol @take your L
ReplyDeleteChi exotic you're a hood girl kai.
I cant read biko hunger wants to finish my life here.i go to work hungry come back and sleep hungry.i can't wait for my paycheck to come so that I can buy milk and tea for my children.first month in a job is not easy.God please see me through because of my children.
ReplyDeleteOk, i'm an orphan and i hv been staying alone since 2007 when i lost my mum, my dad died earlier. Which relative will i stay with? Ppl that fought me over my parents properties? Yes after mum's death, both dad's ppl and mum's wanted to be in control buh i no gree so they left me n my sisters to our fate and we hv been staying on our own. Now, i know they re waiting for us to waste but God pass them, the last thg i will do is invite a guy to my place, its no big deal yeah buh i hate it, i prefer to visit the guy in his, i don't stay out once its 8pm unless am not coming back that day. I'm just that way and to think i owe no one anything i decide to do with my life.
ReplyDeleteBarbie you just made my evening, Lmao @ I'd rather be a water dispenser...
ReplyDeleteYeah, privacy is the ish.
ReplyDeleteKwakwakwakwa
ReplyDelete@ Ideato
Busted
Anons 16:37 pls chop kiss my Der u are a darling I love u pass Stella .Lolzz.
ReplyDeleteKwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwa
ReplyDeleteLizzy u don kill Don for this comment
No b only Oil guy, na militant guy
Kwakwakwakwa
I dey shame to be African sometimes.... we are so backward in our thinking. Is it not a shame to still be staying in your parents house at most, at age 25? Kai! it pains me to say this, but we really still have a long way to go in Africa, especially, Nigeria. Most single ladies that stay alone are even more decent than those that surround themselves with 'daddy and mummy' (mind you, i speak from happenings around me). Nonsense... as for me, i stay alone o and am not married... let me see the clown that will come and force me to go and stay in my parents house at this age. Yeye African mentality.
ReplyDeleteYes u are so right work,market,church,gym & home that's my way ooo
ReplyDeleteDrama is smelling one kain here... emjay, ngwa show
ReplyDeleteOh my God u are so funny no be small water dispenser.lolzzz
ReplyDeleteMy queen queen ur comments made me receive sense ho ha.
ReplyDeleteThe best comment ever am reporting from my leave alone" house in lasgidi ooo
ReplyDeleteMost girls that have children outside wedlock live with there parents ladies that stay alone are very busy either with work,or bizness no time for ashawo cos if 1 man visit u another will like to come ,so what will u do wen 2 or more men visit u in ur house once ? So most ladies living alone don't entertain male visitors that are fuck mates in their house.I AM AN EXAMPLE MY FUCK MATES DON'T VISIT MY HOUSE BIKO, to avoid drama.
ReplyDeleteDafties....can't you people read.....she said during the first S and M....go to Stella's blog and check the date we had the first one....she said she will marry in a couple of weeks not next week....
ReplyDeleteI used to live live with my parents in Abuja. Got posted to Lagos for work. Got a self contained in surgery where I stayed alone till I got married. At first I tot yes freedom at last . I will club tire etc but alas it was the opposite. My life was basically work then home. Hanging out was once in a while. Yes guys will try to come spend the night when you live alone.but being disciplined is key. When my mum comes to lag for wedding she stays with me. So staying alone doesn't make you a pro
ReplyDeleteIdeato head of the clan.... I know you're trying to kiss and makeup, so here π I know you will go under anonymous to cuss me out later, then i will nickname you Lazarus.π
ReplyDeleteBy the way, not everyday write long comments on blog. Some days, face my career and my side business so I can have money to buy my fashionable shoes. Not 'jelly boots' oh! π Christmas is coming mehn. Time to buy ticket. I can't miss 26th December. A girl needs to shop. What a year of exch. rate π©
On the subject, i live in a small flat in Lekki and my suitors who don't seem to mind. Maybe cos my parents live down the road, and I go home most weekends to wash and change clothes, carry soup, attend church service with fam, Bla bla. and if they have to see me on such days, I invite them home. So they probably don't feel like I'm living so alone. that's that.... who knows? Maybe when I actually get engaged this argument might come up. But for now, nothing. π and I honestly can't be bothered. Nigerian men have too much wahala abeg. If you want to marry, marry at once Biko. π
Lest I forget, Am I boasting? ππππππ
πππ when ideato was replied and it hit home. OMG! π© To think this was the day I didn't really blog ππππ Doppel, get ready. She will start coming for you under anonymous for like 1 week.
ReplyDeleteEven me that my parents don't stay in Ayobo, the traffic from chevron to VI can be nauseating. Be driving like π the day you're unlucky (say accident dey front) you still get to work late cos everyone would be bottlenecking on that road. Abeg, it was tiring. My parents didn't agree initially, Then I started leaving home 5am to return 11pm. Cos I hate traffic like mad. What I do is go to gym in the morning. Still get to work for 8. And then I hang out after work or chill at my friends in Lekki or leave the office late when I have stuff to do. Eventually, they got tired of not seeing me Monday - Friday and admitted there was really no use for added stress. But I also balance it by going home weekends so they don't feel I have 'wings' now. Lagos is too stressful abeg. If you can reduce stress by living close to work just do it. #Nike π
ReplyDeleteSo true on the triangular life work- home -church. I can testify
ReplyDeleteStaying with your parents doesn't make you a better person those that get pregnant understand their parent's nose nko.
Ideato you have been killed and buried...kikikikikiki!
ReplyDeleteI love you already Doppel! Nice reply to that idiot.
Licking Ass is my hobby idiota, want me to lick yours? Naah...can't possibly lick such a stinky ass.
Anonymous 14:51 and Chijioke Okafor, please read well and assimilate before commenting. The poster said that she participanted in the first SnM which means it has been over 1yr and she didn't date the guy. She obviously met the fiance after that.
ReplyDeleteFact @Domina. I doubt if I would be going to church this much if I was staying with my parents. There are tooooo many positives to staying alone, I can't begin to mention them.
ReplyDeleteAnd to Chijioke up there that mentioned 'wandering loose dicks', I am shocked at what goes through your mind...
Men should be thrilled to date single ladies that stay alone because most are well-adjusted in catering to certain important responsibilities.
And please to those that always throw the marriage 'jab', that thinking is not only archaic but degrading as well. You might or might not marry, but woe unto you if you leave this earth without a mark.
my 35th birthday to myself is to move out of my parent house this December. I can afford it and anybody can say whatever they lik
ReplyDeleteRubbish post. I stayed alone for over 3 years when I worked in another state. It was a self con and I have a problem with strangers in my personal space like my bedroom, my siblings couldn't even sit on my bed without making it up afterwards growing up so you can imagine bringing in outsiders. I hang out with them but my house was my private retreat for rest. If you want to be wayward, you can still live with your parents and sleep around during the day. Sex is sex regardless of the time of day the act was performed.
ReplyDelete