Anyone has anything Different to offer apart from copied Jokes?LOL
Now let me try something....lol
I am something and my initials are exactly same with the business name of a Music promoter who is currently experiencing hiccups in his private life.I disappeared before Christmas but I will promised to be back in 15 days...
can you nicely guess my name?lol
The winner of the in house gists gets 1500 recharge cards,it is already here with me.The collators of the result will also get recharge cards....LETS GO
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Sunday, January 01, 2017
84 comments:
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Bill Clinton and his driver were cruising along a country road one night when all of a sudden they hit a pig, killing it instantly.
ReplyDeleteBill told his driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened. About one hour later Bill sees his driver staggering back to the car with a bottle of wine in one hand, a cigar in the other and his clothes all ripped and torn.
"What happened to you?" asked Bill.
"Well, the Farmer gave me the wine, his wife gave me the cigar and his 19-year-old daughter made mad passionate love to me."
"My God, what did you tell them?" asks Clinton.
The driver replies, "I'm Bill Clinton's driver, and I just killed the pig."
#DontQuoteMe
Hahahaha
DeleteTunde and his wife were the latest couple in town. One day, while strolling down the street, they came to a boutique and his wife saw a beautiful dress.
DeleteWife; Tunde, can you please give me about #10k to buy this dress I left my purse at home.
Tunde brings out his wallet and gave her money. "Take #140 naira for transport. Go back to the house and bring your purse, i'll wait for you. #copied
Elastic, so funny
DeleteThe Clinton joke is quite funny.
DeleteLmao@copied gist
ReplyDeleteWho else apart from MMM
Yesterday's rules still applies for today's own too
DeletePlease vote ( lol,lyao ) with an id
Cos I don't trust anonymous lol
Huh!?
DeleteMMMG
ReplyDeleteYou are M M M
ReplyDeleteStella pls when are you doing the job post.
ReplyDeleteI want to beg that you indicate before hand so that p we like us can prepare and well and minimize our battery usage.
Thanks
Yours sdkly dazzlinglizzy
People like you shouldn't be on this blog
DeleteTeebills
ReplyDeleteMMM. Send my card oh.
ReplyDeleteMMM
ReplyDeleteMMM, lol
ReplyDeleteMMM(Made Men Music)lol
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteBabe you missed road
DeleteHaha mistyped oo, my sis caused it don't mind me lol
DeleteMade Men Music, MMM ponzi scheme. Ubi franlklin dats d answer MRS stella
ReplyDeleteMrs laila ni mrs Stella ko
DeleteNa my sister cause am oo so I mistakenly mistyped stella it was a mistake o
DeleteNa MMM nah
ReplyDeleteMade Men Music, MMM scheme, ubi Franklin
ReplyDeleteThe winner will be chosen today after collating both yesterday and today's results. Stick to the rules as stated yesterday. Indicate if it is copied or not plus other rules.
ReplyDeleteBest of luck!!!!
Biko come again, I dont understand,wasnt it always each winner for each day, that is saturday has its winner nd sunday has its own too,pls u nd bv bbeloved should stop contradicting urselfs
DeleteI have been crying since morning when this fine babe
ReplyDeletestopped me at SLOT Aba and told me that she
is looking for
GOOGLE PLAYSTORE.
I asked her Google Playstore how?..............
She said her WhatsApp stopped working and her
neighbour told her to go to Playstore and get a
new one.
Anyway as a good Samaritan I told her Playstore is no
longer in SLOT
but they have relocated to A-line
then i put her
in a bus going to A-line ariaria.at least i did my part as a good Samaritan that is i.
#adapted from fb#
Ubi Franklin (MMM)
ReplyDelete2017, My year of almsgiving
ReplyDelete#If you want to feel rich, just count all the gifts you have that money can't buy*
ReplyDeleteTake away my first letter, and I still sound the
ReplyDeletesame. Take away my last letter, I still sound the
same. Even take away my letter in the middle, I will
still sound the same. I am a five letter word. What
am I ?EMPTY
So a guy was very hungry and decided to crash any event to get something to eat,as he was walking he saw an occasion where people were having fun and drinking ND eating,he quickly entered and sat down
ReplyDeleteSoon the MC said;if you are from the grooms family please go the right,the guy quickly moved to the right and no one else followed, then the MC said if you are from the bride side pls go to the left,no one moved but were all laughing at the guy
Immediately the MC said ' BROS ABEG THIS NA BIRTHDAY PARTY NOR BE WEDDING OOO,NA ONLY YOU WAKA COME ABI' lol
#original...i created this joke from an experience my frnd told me about lol
Hahahahahaha
DeleteMade Men Music, ubi Franklin, MMM scheme thanks.
ReplyDeleteMMM made men music
ReplyDeleteMMM
ReplyDeleteYou're MMM
ReplyDeleteMade Men Music, ubi Franklin, MMM ponzi scheme
ReplyDeleteIt hafffff do na
DeleteLol abeg leave me ooo
DeleteWhen your girlfriend is so good in bed but very lazy to do house chores & your relatives start complaining about her. You will be like
ReplyDelete*you guys don't know what this girl can do*
Made Men Music, ubi Franklin, MMM scheme
ReplyDeleteMMM?😞
ReplyDeletehahaha triple MG/MMM........ *coughs*
ReplyDeleteM M M
ReplyDeleteEnter your comment...MMM
ReplyDeleteThat moment you are gisting with your crush and you sneeze, then a "HEAVY CATARRH" jumps out of your nose. You'll be like......
ReplyDelete"FADALORD TAKE MY SOUL"
*copied*
Hahaha
Delete😃😆😅
DeleteHmm mm! This kin joke lol. It's more like a riddle
ReplyDeleteGood to know
ReplyDeleteWHO MUMU PASS?
ReplyDelete1. Hausa man who removed his shoes to enter a taxi
2. Igbo man who went to the bank with a spanner to open a
bank account
3. Yoruba man who went to bed with a ruler just to know
how
long he slept.
4. Tiv man who watched the news and waved at the
newscaster.
5. An Efik nurse who woke up a sleeping patient simply
because
she forgot to give him sleeping pills.
6. An Igala man who lowered his TV volume because he
wanted
to read a text message.
7. An Ikwere man who polished his shoes to take a passport
photo
8.An Isoko man who climbed a mango tree to check if the
mango was ripe enough then came down and started
throwing
stones at it
9. A fulani man who choose to drink fanta because he
thought
sprite was unripe.
10. A Gbagyi man who saw something like shit, touched and
tasted then said "hmmmm"na shit oo!!! thank God oh say I
no
march am.
11. An Idoma man who put his radio inside the refrigerator
because he wanted to listen to cool fm.....copied
To me is no 10 oo! Hehehe
Deleteplease which Rice is the best in the market, I can't deal with the one i bought...... am confused i don't know which one to buy again
ReplyDeleteI eat president basmati rice or aeroplane basmati rice, president is better thou, thnk me later
DeleteMade Men Music, ubi Franklin and MMM ponzi scheme thanks I got it first.
ReplyDeleteMade Men Music, ubi Franklin, MMM scheme got it first o.
ReplyDeleteHere goes my gist and this is an original gist. I hope I win the airtime. Leggo.
ReplyDeleteThis happened in secondary school, a mixed school both of both male and female, Christian and Muslim. So now, different characters are bound to manifest. Hiaa Okay to the main gist, so a week to closure of schools, in one of the female hostels, haa one night o, some people were awake while some were asleep. What next shout in a near bye hostel, na so everyone jump up except the sleeping mofos, those sleeping mofos that even if you pour water, yimu they can't wake up. They were the only ones that were asleep, we had vigilantes so they were trying to pursue us for where we were clustered like sardines. We value our lives na. So people now asked what happened, said it was one girl that saw someone, a man and he was dragging her, we were like how wouldn't your hostel mates see him, at least one hostel mate. She said she don't know. One wicked senior like that started telling stories that she saw the man oh that she was scared, that he is tall, skinny, has long nails, has long hair, haa see fear, trust boarding school, some started crying, some started praying, me sef I was just shivering and shouting Jesus, was holding my close friend, we were like God for all the pranks we played, we are sorry that if we survive this few weeks, we will be serious with church, some girls were even urinating on their nightmare omo fear even catch the vigilantees sef. Na so dem call the girl, she was still shouting leave me, I don't want to marry you, omo fear enter gear 2, marriage kwa, an unknown human that looks like what I don't know is looking for who to marry, haa hay God not me o. See prayer come intensify, both Muslims and Christians, see cry, staffs and matron couldn't understand what was happening, console more than 200 girls haa. They now had to start their own prayers on the girl o, pour her anointing oil she come intensify the cry, like I don't love you, leave me, oya now shout Jesus she no gree, haa we were now like they should give us phones to call our loved ones and tell them bye bye in case, shuu them no gree, haa na so we dey drag till day reach. before seven, haa our matron took the girl hope, sanity was partially restored sha, later we heard that the girl just formed it that she was homesick, that after being denied the opportunity to go home after many trials, she decided to try that and it worked and she paid the senior money to move her ministry lol. Na so the term end o. She went home a week before closing before others making her holidays longer.
Not to forget, she is a fine girl o, so we all believed, I think she is married now with kids and I am sure, she still remembers what she did. Lol secondary school was fun, at least prayer life of most people intensified.
That's my gist and it's original. I hope I made some BV's laugh and I hope to win. Thanks and happy 2017
yes you made my sister and I laugh." ....marriage kwa"
DeleteMade Men Music, ubi Franklin, MMM scheme.
ReplyDeleteMMM
ReplyDeleteTriple 'M'
ReplyDeleteMade Men Music, ubi Franklin, MMM sscheme.
ReplyDeleteMMM
ReplyDeleteThis happened when I was in school ..so I came back from school to where my parents stay.. Every morning standing in d varendah, I see this cute guy, dressed to kill.. On shirts and better plain trouser with portfolio going to work.. I now turned a secret admirer. Everyday I will Stand in d varendah just to see him.. One day I was buying fries in d evening when someone tapped me and said hi nne... We talked and from there we became friends.. I asked him what he does for a living and he told me he was a "TILER".. me I no even understand which one be Dat.. And I kukuma no ask.. One day during discussion, d brother told me he will be going to work early cos he wl be going to his new site,where he is building a house.. In my mind I was so happy and shocked.. So dis man get house?? Was so fucking happy that I have hit the right person oo.
ReplyDeleteThen one day I volunteered to come visit him in the site and he accepted and said if I dnt mind.. In my mind I was like nawa oo.. Why won't I go to see his house.. My future house.. (I don dey plan in my mind as our marriage wan go ooo... No blame me).. Dat was how I got to the site and called him that I'm there.. I was across d main road waiting for my supposed boo to come out nah.. Omo see my packaging(white leggings nice tee shirt and sneakers) that was how I saw someone wt cement bag designed as cap on his head coming to pick me.. I was like shuoo?? Abi my baby dey follow em workers work?? I didn't talk oo, I just followed him into the building... Only den did I realize Dat TILER na person wey dey put tiles for floor.. I nearly peed my pants.. Naso I help am fetch water to mix cement ooo until I tire.. Me sef come dey look like Mason myself. Nne after Dat day ooo... Our relationship come get k-leg oo.. I no fit jump from suffer to suffer head ooo
Hahahaha funny
DeleteWow!!! Girl you are good..this is my winner
DeleteLol. This was funny.
DeleteMy vote goes to you! This was the only one that made me laugh.
DeleteLmaooo.
DeleteLol, for your mind u hit jackpot. U get luck sef say ne be iron bender, kikikikikikiki.
DeleteOmg!!! Biko, give this person. See me laughing like a fool 😂 😂 😂
DeleteLolzzz nice one...i VOTE for this
Delete😂😂
DeleteHahahahahaha.....
DeleteYou nailed it dear!
I laughed so hard.
You Don win. I vote for you.
DeleteTnx for making my morning...I laughed so hard
Deletegreed and envy no let bvs laugh for people joke, because everybody wan try fastest finger...
ReplyDeleteHappy New Year 2 everyone.
ReplyDeleteLet me drop ds 1 here too
AKPOS: How far na for our discussion, you no go follow me go?
SEYI LAW: I Don't think so. I'm just to occupied these days.
AKPOS: Na wa for you o. You dey fall my hand too much. No yawa na.
SEYI LAW: Whatever. Go look for someone else please, but Akpos, why don't you speak English? You always interact with pidgin English.
AKPOS: Meaning?
SEYI LAW: I'm using English and you are replying with pidgin English.
AKPOS: I see.... You must be an idiot and if you aren't, you've made a world class effort at simulating one. I feel debased just knowing you exist. You are a bloody nardless newbie twit protohominid chromosomally aberrant caricature of a coprohagic cloacal parasitic pond scum. Goddamn living emptiness like you! Belligerent barratrous bigoted niccompu
SEYI LAW: Wetin be all this one na?!!!
AKPOS: So you can speak pidgin English too?
#Copied!
Hahaaaaaaaaaaa,omg! U deserve the card goretti bae. Are u for real? Lmaooooo. Pls I vote u abeg.
ReplyDeleteMMM-
ReplyDeleteIf you think you're frustrated because MMM did willy-willy with your money, then you don't know the meaning of frustration!!!!! My friends you don't have an idea what frustration is !!!!
ReplyDeleteYou would know the meaning of frustration if you are an ANAMBRA man, you go for an oral English exams and the ask you to pronounce parallelogram! Or make a sentence with Parallelogram.. I mean PA-RAL-LO-GRAM!!! Not PALLALLELOGLAM!!! I'm out !
LMAO
Delete