Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Traditional Versus Court Wedding

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Monday, 23 January 2017

Traditional Versus Court Wedding

This is a very very interesting Read!!





This is a BV contribution.....


''I read the Chronicle of a bv's sister ttc/marriage You see, this life is so unfair.


Now, to address the issue of dissolution of traditional marriage, as a lawyer that I am. I chose to send here as I don't want it lost in the comments so we can all learn.

NOTE: This will be long!


Traditional marriage is different from marriage under the Act.
Marriage under the Act is one done at the Registry. Now, the church marriage at times


can be one under the Act as some churches take the marriage registry from the marriage registry after the priests have been conferred with the authority of an authorized person at the registry(hope that isn't too confusing). Therefore some churches like the Anglican churches and the Catholics, Baptist churches and those old churches most times have this authority. 


This is the reason you are asked to go fill a form at your local government /registry and it's pasted for a duration of time. That's the requirement of the law.


Now, to the Traditional marriage, the law put into consideration our culture. Before the marriage Act came into force, traditional marriage was the only form of marriage. Of course, the drafters of the matrimonial Act 1970(regulating marriage under the Act or Statutory marriage) will never shut their eyes to the existence of traditional marriage‎. That's why some sections of the Act specify that no marriage contracted before this Act shall be invalid because of this new Act.


 It is as valid as the marriage Act but on different levels. NOTE that Customary court is the only court that has jurisdiction to sit on issues arising from Traditional marriage e.g dissolution of marriage. In lagos state now, customary courts do not have power over custody of children. Custody matters will be referred to family Court. On the other hand, High Court is the only court that has jurisdiction over marriage under the Act.


Then the Act says: if there is a marriage i.e a traditional marriage or marriage under the Act that is first in time, no other marriage contracted i.e court /church marriage‎ (statutory marriage) or traditional marriage shall be valid and vice versa. That is what happened in the case of the BV who commented that a certain man married his first wife traditionally and married the second under the Act. Upon his death, the traditional marriage was recognised over the other marriage. Yes that is the law.


I hope you get the gist now. I always say the Act envisaged that some greedy men would want to go marry some educated women who would drag them to court to marry them thinking she will be the 'legal' wife without properly divorcing the one you married traditionally. OYO is your case oh.


Now to the main poster, your sister married traditionally. It is recognised but there are some benefits she will not enjoy. (I term them benefits from what I have seen from law practice)
You didn't specify which tribe you are from as practice are different. The Eastern part of Nigeria requires that you return the bride price while in the west‎ :Yoruba it is not required.


The properties in question, does she have her name jointly on them?
The receipt you mentioned, do they point to a particular item or items bought for the house? E.g receipt for a remote control paid by Mrs xyz. Is there an account pointing to how she paid for the car or any item in the house? Not just money paid to her husband without description oh. If NO! It is a bit tough. I will explain‎. You see, even in the high Court, if you are claiming joint ownership, you are expected to prove by evidence of receipts SHOWING you bought blocks, chairs, roof etc.



 This is the common law situation where a man is regarded as the head and the owner. Some of us lawyers have tried to make the courts see that this is no longer tenable. The time spent with the man, the support a woman gave to her husband to acquire those properties assuming the wife isn't even working and perhaps doesn't bring a dime to the table, what about her time spent in catering for the children, supporting the man, cooking etc (wife not cook, yes oh. Loll)‎, making sure the house is fixed and time spent in tending to the man, his family and friends! 


Is this law or practice encouraging partnership in marriage? Are we not breeding a situation where the moment two people marry, they start keeping tab on what they bought, keeping receipt etc (someone commented that she was already planning to leave her marriage because she kept receipts. That's not fair to say!


 Am sure she never planned for her marriage to end abruptly) but unfortunately, we don't have radical jugdes anymore that will deliver a judgement partitioning the properties without evidence of contributions. The clients too are not ready to go all the way maybe to appeal court so that one can have the stupid judgements upturned! 


Back to the matter, customary court has jurisdiction to dissolve the marriage. They will ask that the man gives her a certain sum to resettle but if she has receipts and people she can call as witnesses to say when she bought block, cement etc she should get something. Most times, the customary court panel will say they don't have jurisdiction over the property but the customary court law says 'all matters arising from customary law marriage' this includes properties from the marriage. 


They also leave room for the parties to see if they can resolve issues. I don't know what the fact of this case is, I mean what receipts she has for what and what so I am not able to comment on her case particularly but from my plenty story and analysis, you should be able to do assessment of the case or get a lawyer now!


This my epistle‎ does not mean I am forcing her to go to court or something, she can choose to walk .
Away, she can choose to fight. (court case is a serious battle, judgement will not come in a day, it takes your money, time and energy)The choice is hers.


I will react to your questions in the comment section. Bvs can also add and subtract. Eseun!''


Thanks Stella!
Love you all BVS, even though una wahala too much. *kizzzezzz* in fals's voice

BV Ral


66 comments:

Rhoda Rex said...

Nice

SWAG LAFRESH said...

Interesting. Thanks

Intelligentsia princess said...

Marriage na marriage whether traditional,court or church.
If you can afford to have the three done fine,if you can't do traditional and rest. In fact,traditional marriage is the only marriage recognized by God.

LOLO IDEATO said...

Got tired of reading. I hope she finds help.

Traditional marriage is very important to me. Thereafter Court or any other

Anonymous said...

"The time spent with the man, the support a woman gave to her husband to acquire those properties assuming the wife isn't even working and perhaps doesn't bring a dime to the table, what about her time spent in catering for the children, supporting the man, cooking etc (wife not cook, yes oh. Loll)‎, making sure the house is fixed and time spent in tending to the man, his family and friends"

HOW ABOUT THE MAN'S EFFORT IN;
PURCHASING THE FEMALE IN WEDDING
HOUSING THE FEMALE
FEEDING THE FEMALE
CLOTHING THE FEMALE
GIVING HER PARENTS MONEY
TENDING TO HER FAMILY AND FRIENDS
PAYING FOR THE KIDS
BEING A FATHER TO THE KIDS
BUYING THE FOOD SHE COOKS (HUSBAND NOT SPONSOR)
Etc

If a man puts a roof over an adult woman's head, the least she could do is clean the damn house.

If he gives her money to buy food stuff, the least she could do is cook the damn food and do the dishes. That's if she has any common sense.

IM SICK OF FEMALES FEELING THEIR PRESENCE IS CURRENCY. GROW UP, GET A JOB AND CONTRIBUTE FINANCIALLY, SIGNIFICANTLY AND CONSTANTLY OR STAND ASIDE AND PLAY SECOND FIDDLE TO THE MAN AS THE SUB-ADULT THAT YOU IS!

LUCILE COCONUT OIL ABUJA 07059605320 Pin- 2BC6235E said...

Ok ooooo

Ehi hairs and wigs UK said...

Well written BV Ral.

Yori Yori Princess Loveme Jeje said...

Very well

peace maker said...

Why did d hubby divorce her in d first place? Hope she is not a stubborn woman

Dimplez said...

Nice one BV Ral

Manna Bee said...

Court (coded) marriage for me abeg.

Who tradition epp?

Since my dad died 19 years ago, none of his family cared about us. They even denied us his properties. Only God, my mum and her family sustains us.

Na those demons i go invite for my traditional marriage? Baba God sef go vex.

😩😩😩😩

Starjoy said...

It is good to be married by both, but traditional is more recognize

TheBrownDahlia said...

Why so angry? Relax na. BV Ral is just explaining from the point of view of the female commenter the talked about walking away from her marriage with receipts.

Rogers said...

What evidence is required to prove that traditional marriage actually happened being that in most places their is no document given to the man or woman to cover for that. like in Church/court weddings, the church/registry issues a certificate.

Cherry Topaz said...

My dear we are in the same boat o. Who them epp. Good riddance.

Anonymous said...

Wait oh..... Ayam not understanding. So if both get jobs, who now takes care of the kids, home, the man and cooking? So the woman should handle the man's duties and hers while the man only handles his duties?
Pls stop being stupid

Aya Williams said...

Manna bee u still need to do the traditional wedding and u don't need to invite those demons.

Anonymous said...

Madam i read your comments alot. You talk like you know too much. You need to calm down. Aii just my 2 cents

Anonymous said...

THANKS FOR THE DETAIL INFORMATION,YOU HAVE SAVED SOMEONE!!! STELLA YOU ARE THE SPECIAL ONE.

Kim Kardashian Aka portable queen of sdk blog said...

I did all.
Trad
Church
Registry

Kim Kardashian Aka portable queen of sdk blog said...

If ur pride price is not paid, my dear u are very much single

fulness christ said...

Well said bv Ral. Bt honestly Traditional marriage is the only one recognised by God others are optional.

charitybino said...

I will advice that you do the traditional marriage and then court marriage for documentation.

SpellCheck said...

What is this one saying? I think those bricks that fell on you might have shifted your brain a bit. Did you even read the writeup?

Anonymous said...

@ Anonymous 14:37 in such scenario there is always a house maid and the man pays. It's rare to see a working class woman doing the full work of a full time house wife. Read what is written up there again and reanalysis don't be in a hurry to defend or criticize.

Anonymous said...

No responsibile man or family will marry you without seeing the eldest person in your family, your mother or brothers can't give you out in marriage alone exception you are marrying from an irresponsible family or a tribe that has no respect for culture..

Anonymous said...

How does a woman seek for divorce in Islamic marriage

Anonymous said...

Poster pls I want u to enlighten me more on this "can be one under the Act as some churches take the marriage registry from the marriage registry after the priests have been conferred with the authority of an authorized person at the registry(hope that isn't too confusing). Therefore some churches like the Anglican churches and the Catholics, Baptist churches and those old churches most times have this authority" assuming u are did just the traditional and church (Catholic) what happens in d case of divorce?

Anonymous said...

@Kim so sense u no get....? Which kain useless statement is that?

Anonymous said...

What's confusing you?

Maids can cook and clean. There are crèches. You can't work for 24hrs. The both of you will close and come home after work. Besides the kids won't be toddlers forever. Woman, get a job!
Your getting a job is not indicative of you being a man. It is indicative of you being an adult.

missylynn said...

Traditional is the first one recognized in our tribe then other follow suit

Anonymous said...

@brown. I'm responding from the point of view of a man.

Mao Akuh said...

Traditional Marriage is duly recognised and there are so many witnesses to it. Whenever it's done the whole village will know that you are married, so to me any other is secondary. Even in church, the pastor will ask the parents, "hope the groom had settled the family?"

I think Stella posted something like this few years back but all the same -

Nice one Rai.

Anonymous said...

We need summary. Too long

Anonymous said...

I hear! Please, if you are married, I advice you to send you wife out of the country for 6 months then you will see what she does for you. The list you put up there is very short. I do not Blame you. It is the "see finish" syndrome that makes a man talk like this and if you think your side okuko will not demand more from you, then you are in lala land.

sylvia said...

Orthodox churches like catholic, methodist, baptist have authority and you can use that certificate to file for a divorce. However sadly churches like winners, Christ embassy, deeper life, MFM, RCCG etc don't and that's why these churches often refer couples to the registry prior to the wedding xeremony

Anonymous said...

@Rogers the evidence to prove that a traditional marriage occurred is a "Customary court marriage certificate". Check if your town has a customary court, then go there to obtain this certificate. And like the lawyer said up there, this still holds some grounds. So to those men frowning at court marriage there are ways out. As if my father knew that my husband would not agree to a court marriage, when we had our traditional marriage, a customary court certificate was issued to us and that is what i have been using for the past 5 years we married now. For Embassies and banks and HMO in his own office. and No there was also not a white wedding so that is the certificate I use now. But then again, I dont know why men think that women are after their properties and the things they will stand to benefit when the man dies or divorces them. For me, it is because of my children because we have heard of cases where men end up abandoning their children. I want a situation whereby if the man decides to leave me tomorrow. I still want him to take responsibility for the children-good health care, education, feeding, clothing and general upkeep. He cannot run away from his responsibilities cos na two of us get the children. It is not me he will be taking care of. For me I work so hard to be able to take care of my future after all women who are hustling dont have two heads so i will continue to hustle to take care of myself mbok. Men feels that without them women are a nobody. Rubbish

Anonymous said...

@Anon 15:27 & 16:28 you are wrong. There isn't always a maid and a woman/wife should be the one to solely cook and care for her family (except she is incapable, handicapped or dead) not a maid. She can go back to work when her baby is at least a year old or better still start a biz that allows her time for her family.
You kids of today think marriage is beans. You don't just employ a maid and leave your home and expect your home to be in order. they are only temporary assistance.
Be wise

Anonymous said...

@anon 15:27 days why most young working class women easily lose control of their homes or get divorced over trivial things cos they neglect their role over career.

Yemi7up said...

God bless you for this am many will learn from this write up. God bless our home.

Yemi7up said...

*homes

Madam Thomas the talk talk Aka the big mouth said...

Whether you two marry or not is non of my business. Who you help if I may ask. All of you should leave me alone am angry

Yemi7up said...

Mr or Mrs haa haa small you sound angry, you can write in your own chronicles too so that can get help anoy 13:48. Oga o.

Yemi7up said...

Manna bee, please your dowry is very important God recognize that. You don't need to involve the so called demons, your mummy will know those that deserve to collect.

Yemi7up said...

May be pictures and video coverage and definitely eye witnesses.

Yemi7up said...

Wao I never new customary court issue certificate for traditional wedding, then we should encourage people to get during traditional marriages.

Ralia the sugar girl said...

Amen.
Thanks everyone!

SWAG LAFRESH said...

You wed for church and you still did court? Maybe na charge and bail church you wed

Ralia the sugar girl said...

My point is marriage is like a partnership between 2 adults.(either the wife works or not) If the partners can no longer work together, then, they should share the assets and proceeds. Everyone brings something to the table either time or money. The epistle over there doesn't say women's presence equals money. It is just fair that a woman be given a percentage of the assets acquired during the marriage.
Some women work and earn more than men these days but some of them, maybe out of respect for the man, will allow the man put his name only on the documents, then shits start happening, you are asking her to bring evidence of her contributions!!!!

Ralia the sugar girl said...

Do both please. Traditional to pay/receive dowry so as to have parent's blessings.

Ralia the sugar girl said...

Talka, Talka, Talka or something like that meaning 'I divorce you, I divorce you, I divorce you. (the party seeking dissolution mentions this 3times). Dissolution of Muslim marriage isn't that stressful. Some go to customary court too.

SWAG LAFRESH said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ralia the sugar girl said...

Most catholic churches have the authority so the certificate is valid. I believe you filed some forms at the marriage registry or your church registry, these forms are taken to the local government /marriage registry.

SWAG LAFRESH said...

Manna bee, your bro can collect your bride price. Your mum too can collect.

Ralia the sugar girl said...

Thankfully, Lagos state has some fantastic laws that will not allow men run away from their responsibilities. Even though, enforcement of these laws is another thing but we will get there.

ukwu dimond said...

Is alright

Anonymous said...

You can get a customary marriage certificate . I got mine from AMAC here in abuja..thou my trad marriage was done in the villa.

Anonymous said...

I forgot to add that u need affidavit from a court first bf u proceed to Amac. Don't forget to take a witness along .

Manna Bee said...

Thanks you all.😄😄😄. I am just heartbroken about how they treated us.

@Anonymous 15:17, you havent the slightest idea of what I am talking about. And some inlaws to be understands what I am talking about but we can go the way @Yemi7Up rightly suggested.

Anonymous said...

Stop passing wrong info,which one is recognized by Christ?traditional that allows multiple partners?

Anonymous said...

Your husband doesn't love you.

Anonymous said...

Your husband feel women are not to be loved and trusted,in fact my husband wants us to get married every year and he buys everything in my name,please not all men are bad,many of you women has this staunch belief that men are evil and they end up with such men,for me I was convinced I will marry the best man and I finally did and I thank God I never gave my body to any silly man before him,my hubby's love overwhelms me and I am so grateful to God.

Uberhaute| +234 8151914305| Makeover| Training| Product Sales said...

@swag it's very possible. Church will only give you testimonial if you have wedded at the registry before church wedding but if you haven't, you'll present a license from the court to we'd in the church and you'll be given certificate.

Uberhaute| +234 8151914305| Makeover| Training| Product Sales said...

Anon, are you married? Please if you aren't, kindly get married first, have your first child with another on the way then come back and advise women.

Inimitable said...

If no be one tin, I for thuner fire your nyash dia. So, you don't know that housewife is supposed to be a full time job? Who pays her everytime you have sex with her even when she's not into you anymore and she "just has to"? What do you pay her for the 9months of pregnancy? Don't get me started on all she has to endure to be with you all her life, abi you think it's a fun ride being with one man with just one dick and the same attitude all her life? My friend just shut up that silo bin yu call mouth. Onu mpama.

Ïşăåçßįļľ Ĝāţёš ǍйЇ said...

@Ralia I've heard this before but I honestly thought it was a joke.

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