Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative

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Monday, 13 February 2017

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative

WOW...How on earth does it ever get this bad?





STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
RANT LETTER TO AN EX HUSBAND

Give me a little space on your good blog to shed my tears and wail. Let me rant my heart out because i can't talk to anyone. They will just think I'm crazy. 


I feel like a little child her sweets she treasures were snatched away from her by some bullies.

I feel used.

When you knew i wasn't your type, why did you marry me? Why did you make me your wife just for "having a wife" sake?


Why did you deceive me into marrying you when you knew you didn't love me and would never ever love me?


For 6 good years of my life, you denied me love, you denied me affection, you denied me all my rights as a wife, you never ever saw me as a part of you.


I have lost count of how many times i have cried, i have lost count of how many times i shed tears of regret. You treated me with certain kind of disgust, as if i irritated you.

I complained but everyone thought i was insane. I asked you many times why don't you love me, you responded "i love you like God said we should love our neighbours".

I was blinded by the love and feelings i had for you, that i didn't observe your feelings for me deeply. I was carried away.


I didn't trap you with pregnancy, you were earning less than me when we got married, i wasn't a desperado, i accepted to be your wife because i loved you and thought you were for real. I never knew you were marrying me for jokes, i never knew you were making a fool of me and my family. I never knew marriage was all fun and games to you.


You told your lovers that i'm not presentable, you told them I'm a terrible person.
No matter how ugly you saw me and how evil you think i am, God would have provided for me my own true husband who would have loved me even with my ugliness. But you denied me the opportunity of ever being with a man worthy of me.


So many times you told me " if i hadn't married you, no man would have married you". You expressed these lines so many times i ended up believing i'm really that ugly.


I feel used.


You never showed me affection, we were never friends. All my efforts to bring us closer and build a tight marriage bond was rubbished by you. You just refused to give our marriage a decent chance.


When you knew you naturally loved girls who are short and light skinned, why did you deceive me, an exact opposite into marrying you?


I love marriage and the idea of building a home but you denied me the opportunity of building a home with my true husband who you made it impossible for me to meet. It is not fair!


To you i'm nothing more than an incubator and a baby making machine. You never made real love me, you reserved your body for your lovers. I have never had a smelling mouth but you never ever ever kissed me. If i don't approach you for a kiss, you never ever did and most of the times, you turned me down.


You loved keeping malice with me because you saw it as a way to avoid me. You kept malice with me like it was air to Abuja


You refused us doing our court wedding because you knew you have plans of marrying someone in court and one day i will be kicked out.


Now the marriage is finally over and you are patiently waiting for me to move out with our 3children so you can bring in your lover.


I want to go too because i have had enough.


December last year, you told me you are a free man and that i should leave you alone to enjoy yourlife how you wanted. I asked you; what about me? Who will be my husband and companion to me and you responded i should face the kids and that the only business i have right now is to look after our kids. When you said this, i knew you were long gone out of the marriage so i prayed, wept to God to take control and put love for me in your heart but things only got worse.


I saw how you treated your lovers and friends, i saw the affection and love you showed them. I saw how you took care of them. But i, your wife who should have the chief share of your love and attention got only 0.001% of your love.

Now the union is finally over, i am now a single mum of 3kids. How easy will it be for me?

You practically snatched my marital destiny and destroyed it. Now, you are enjoying your life as s bachelor while I'm busy looking for money to rent a decent apartment for myself and the kids.




For all the tears i have shed, God will settle me!
For all the emotional abuse, emotional torture, rejection, etc you put me through, God will compensate me and make things right for me in his own way.


For making me choose single motherhood instead of remaining in this loveless union with you, the almighty God will surely send helpers my way because being a single mother in this Abuja ain't a joke.


He said he will be sending #15,000 for feeding for our 3kids and pay their school fees.


My own job is a bit manageable so we can survive.
As soon as i can get a place to stay with the kids, we will quietly leave.


I'm going crazy with the emotional tortures.


He is patiently waiting for me to leave and yes I'm leaving! Enough is enough.


Some may say i don't have enough reason to leave, please i do and i want to take my little dignity left and continue my life alone. I'm trapped in a place I'm not wanted nor appreciated. Do i wait till i return home one day to meet my stuffs outside?


Even if there"may" (i doubt it though)be reconciliation in the future,i have to leave now so that things can be set straight. I deserve better. If he says he wants to come back, HE MUST ATTEND MARRIAGE COUNSELLING classes so he can get knowledge of what marriage is. I'm being real.


At least let me treat myself right and live like a normal woman. His treatment of me and how he constantly ridicules me have ruined my self esteem.


I tell you all, currently he lacks zero knowledge of what marriage is all about, he has no idea how a wife should be treated. He thinks a wife is no better than a maid. Just deliver his babies and care for them. We don't go out, we don't go to church together because he stopped going to church 4years ago,he hates everything marriage and family related.


There so many things that writing will take a whole week.
I just want to go and No I didn't tell anyone in my family because i don't want any interference. I know what i want and i must leave now otherwise more ill treatments are coming my way.


If i will remain a Mrs, then i have to fight for my right. I believe marriage is sweet if both couples truly love each other.


If i leave and he marries another lady in court, i will gladly return the brideprice (we did only trad) he paid and continue living my life. I won't miss anything. I only feel for my kids.

I have lived a normal, stable and very decent live up until i got married.

I will answer any question anyone may have in the comment section.

To the single ladies, be very watchful. If he isn't into you during dating, he won't be in marriage!

184 comments:

Rocky said...

This is heartbreaking

Anonymous said...

Not to sound insensitive here but are you sure you did not pressure him into marriage? Are you sure what you referred to as the emotions that blinded you before marriage was not desperation?

Tilly said...

Please do what makes you happy. You deserve to be happy. He doesn't deserve you at all if he truly behaved in the way you explained. He will regret his actions one day. But its usually too late. Your own husband will find you and you will experience a peaceful and loving marriage

xxxTrinityxxx said...

this really touched me. 15k a month for feeding for 3 kids???? thats nothing. the man is wicked. maybe his family were on his neck to get married so he just found you and married you to get them off his back. you should not have had 3 kids too when you knew the marriage was loveless. does he even love his kids? if he did why would you be the one looking for where to take them (accomadation)?? na wa

orela said...

May God Grant you leave and that which you seek poster..

DoppelgΓ€nger said...

Adim very confused.
One minute you use when and the next you use if.
Do you expect us to come and forcefully drag you before you'd know you have to leave or you want us to beg you to stay.
Madam, you don't want to leave and it's obvious.
Make up your mind and get it moving please, marriage is not by force and you don't need to be in one to feel human.
You are enough! Love yourself because no one else will love you more than you can move yourself except God.
Pack your things and leave. Stop waiting for a man's validation, it will only leave you weak and tired.

ZIONA said...

this is deep,im glad u let it out,mark my words he will surely regret it,did he hide his disgust for u before marriage,because this guy abused u emotionally and that pain is worse than anything i can imagine,madam leave that good for nothing,thank God u are working,please face ur life,i can bet u ,u will still meet someone that would love u,dont ever tell urself u are ugly,u are wonderfully and fearfully made.

I am the queen and the boss of this blog(CHIEF) said...

Na wah oh!...
Poster,didn't you notice he was not into you when you guys wanted to get married?...
It's better you leave him afterall,he is a church rat!...
I would have advised you to go spiritual on him if he is rich but dude is not worth it!...

You will see how he will end up with that woman that is currently shacking him!...
Just sit down dey look!...

Anonymous said...

Take heart poster.. E hugs

Please does anyone knws d reason for few lumps under the armpit.. this is the first time id be experiencing that kind of tn, although iv been to the hosp bt it doesnt seem to go away, im thinking of going bk tomorrow but Id jst like 2 knw if anyone has an idea and wat cld be d cause and how to go about it. It has just worsened my anxiety issue, pls help if u have an idea, thank you all!

popeyes said...

'You never showed me affection, we were never friends'

Madam, how did you end up marrying a man you knew was like this yet, you claim you were not desperate? Sorry you had to go through this, but please move on and forget that creature you wasted your life with. Best wishes!

Yori Yori Princess Loveme Jeje said...

The Bible says thou shalt not love any man with all your heart, all your soul and all that you have. See as the idiots do you bad thing.

Dont worry, God will help you recover all the devil your horseband stole from you. He will receive his own punishment.

Go 3 days dry fasting on him, pray midnight and do it when you are naked and see what will happen to him. I hate men who put so much stress on woemn.

Anonymous said...

How do you date a man that shows no atom of affection for you? Talk less of marrying him? Why do you allow a man marry you halfway? This man never loved you and you knew it very well! You settled, and got far less than what you settled for. You were desperate. Please accept it.

Anonymous said...

Madam...nice try but what was your own contribution to the collapse of this marriage?

Anonymous said...

Another reason for me to say marriage is overrated. #cantdealabeg
Poster, God will do what is best for you and help you to make the right decision. But karma they say is a bitch. He will definitely get served. The Lord is your strength.

Isaacson said...

Am so sorry poster for everything he made you go through,he had no right saying those things to you or deceiving you,am so angry and furious at that man,which I could see him and beat some senses into him...i won't curse him or abuse him but I pray that God should remove whatever scale or interference from his eyes and if not God should provide a good decent man who will take good care of you and those wonderful kids of yours well amen

zion baby said...

Wow...this is very deep mehn.
I believed he showed this trait of negligence wen you guys wia dating ryt?
The truth is you can't change a man.
You shldnt have married him when you knew he doesn't love you.

Its well with you my sister.

Opeyemi said...

You married a boy that has no idea of what marriage entails.

Marriage is for matured men only. There will be reconciliation in future but for now go and get some air and breathe.

LOLO IDEATO said...

Madam, did you pray about this dude before marriage? Did God speak to you about him? I doubt!

From your write up, you honestly do not want to leave, you wish he can have a honest rethink of his martial life, and come home soon on his knees begging. Because you know you'll she's tears and accept him back.

May God help "us" make the right choice. The mistake of marriage is the worst mistake in Life. Singles please always take your time and Pray. No one should pressure is into getting married.

I don't blame single ladies, most guys are wolves in sheep's clothing. When you get closer to them you'll see the demon they possess

Fuck you said...

Definitely poster...nobody is allowed to bf treated this way..it hurts yes but u knew he wasn't into u...u can't force a man's heart to where it's not

Beloved said...

Heartbreaking

Anonymous said...

Maybe he is an opportunist, i know someone that marriedhis wife because her uncle was a governor then. He had little or no love for her, saw her as dumb, but he hid his true feelings well.

KIDJO said...

Oh dear, It's well with you.Mum always warned her girls..."Never you marry a man whose love is less than yours,Marry a man who loves you more than you love him."...Now I see the reason of her saying such words to us.Some men re terrific! But there's always karma.Poster pls take heart.I feel so sorry for you, you married a man whose love was so small compared to yours.You loved him more than he did love you.SMH. 😩😩😩😩

Anonymous said...

Am living the same lie but unlike you ,I have a better plan . A plan that will shake the whole world .

Madam Small Chops said...

Dear Poster, your marriage ended a long time ago."Two can't work together except the agree".

I pray God sorts you out cos it won't be easy taking care of three kids alone but pls be strong for them.

Cry all you can now but the day you wipe those tears, don't you shed a tear for him again because he doesn't deserve you.

RiRi said...

Oh my days
I practically wept after reading this.
How can I reach u poster?
The Lord is your strength n trust me one day u will look back and thank God because God is preparing u for a better.who says even after 3 children u cant get a man that would still love u?
My dear,U see this God he works in mysterious ways...just sit back and watch him fight ur battles and hey this the time to be more prayerful.

Anonymous said...

wooow..so touching and deep.
I wish you happiness and may the Lord be with you and the kids in these trying times. Marriage just scares me more every passing day.
Lord help me!!!!!

DonMayor �� said...

Madam you were not blind before you both married. If your marriage is not working please call it off, no be by force.
Leave the man if you think you are not appreciated enough. Imagine the rant like say them born two of you together.
Una be Siamese twin ?

EJIASINWEZEGINI said...

Am speechless, so painful.

Anonymous said...

You are an idiot may all ythe females in your generation experience this and I am NOT the poster.


This made me cry

Quality Madam said...

Since you said you pity ur kids on the effect the separation might have on them Why don't you go to synagogue church for prayers and deliverance or better still mountain of fire praying camp or since you are in Abj Champions Royal assembly at kubuwa bc as for me since he doesn't give you physical abuse or a threat to your life, i don't see a reason why you should ever give up your home for a strange woman. May be he is under some form of spiritual manipulations but if you insist that both of you are not compatible again you can call it a quit.

Zinny Chocolate said...

Why marry someone if you don't love them? Why is marriage originally designed by God to be cherished suddenly turns to a hell hole for some? God will see you through the period. Just hold on to Him. Don't relent in your prayers. I wish you all the best

Jay said...

Poster its a good thing that you are leaving, please take good care of yourself and your kids. God will surely bless and provide for you. That ex-horseband of yours will surely regret this someday

iyke david said...

The Lord is your strength!

BLOGLORD said...

Wow!
Am just totally speechless that a man can be this wicked.
Apparently he didn't marry you for love, he married you probably for your money or....
honestly I just don't know.
I love the fact that you are strong.
You will heal darling.
Do not break down. Remain strong for yourself and your children.

Take good care of yourself,
Look good, dress well, be cheerful
Be the best mom to your kids and be prayerful
You can still find true love.
All the best

Monkeynofine said...

Reading through this chronic-coal it seems he wasn't treating u right from day 1 ! My question is how do women end up with men like dis? How how how? I feel really sorry for u , and from ur writeup if this same man comes back begging for reconciliation u will gladly accept him back. Issorite .....wipe ya 😹

Wendixx said...

Hmmm... It is Well.

Dear Poster, keep praying and believing God, I'm very sure that there were signs and signals during courtship, but you ignored them maybe due to ignorance etc.

However, don't despair. God is ever faithful, He never fails.

Cheers..

Anonymous said...

Dear poster so sorry about your story but please how do you recognise that someone is not into you while you guys are dating?

STARRY LARRY said...

All I have to say is 'all is well with your soul'. Bet this with me, your hubby will come crying on his kneels but it will be too late





*Larry was here*

Anonymous said...

Pls take heart and look after your children at least he is still paying school fee and sending money for the kids. If your hands are clean, get naked at past midnight and cry to the Lord often. Watch as the Lord will fight for you.

You cannot force love.

Monkeynofine said...

Some people find it really hard to move on. For me oooo its better u move out and move on if he ain't treating u right!

Kay said...

Hmmmmm, deep breath. My heart kept racing as I read this post. My eyes wet as I hold back the tears.

Why will he treat her so badly? God.... it's painful.

I have a friend who never says what he wants from me but plays the bf role. I've waited for him to tell me what he wants to clarify things but he won't. Now I have asked him via message and he refused to respond to my question. It is obvious he just wanted friends with benefit. I'm happy I didn't give him the punani.

I have decided to give him a very long space to avoid stories that touch. I know he just wants to get married and maybe I fit the role but I'm guessing he has no real feelings for me. I'll take a walk.

Poster, God will heal you. You will be amaized at how beautiful your life will be without him. Cry as much as you can, but I know that healing comes with time.

Thank God you are financially independent.

Monkeynofine said...

πŸ‘ŒπŸ‘ŒπŸ‘ŒπŸ‘Even if she leave today from her write up she will still go back to him!

Corper W said...

I keep wondering how it gets this bad.
Marriage is already a jail term so if you must go there, then get imprisoned with Your FRIEND.
Although a coin has two sides but Your chronicles got me crying.
Put yourself together and move on.
You will definitely smile
How do one reach you?

Bohemian Girl said...

Sometimes breast tissue grows into the axilla. In this case, you have nothing to worry about, but it also can be a symptom of invasive breast cancer. Go to your oncologist, get an X-ray done, a mammogram and maybe a biopsy. Good luck. All will be well.

Anonymous said...

In tears now...for the umpteenth time today, dear poster, this is also my story with slight variations.May God heal your heart. Dear husband of mine, for every pain you have caused me in this young marriage, 3 years of undiluted sorrow...you will reap bountifully all you have sown. My heart is broken and this time I don't know if if can ever be repaired..I've shown you nothing but love since we met. The almighty judge, who is never partial..will judge you! I rest my case at His feet

Monkeynofine said...

Spiritual on top someone that she's far better than(salary wise) πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ make she jejely move out jor she was blindly in love and she didn't notice that the guy wasn't into her like that. ....... I don't see the reasons why she send in this chronicle abi na letter to the man wey no dey read sdkblog😊😊😊😊😊

Iman Bella said...

Your chronicle shattered my heart
Was he forced or manipulated
Please just move on with your life

Monkeynofine said...

She understand SDK readers so she just stylishly manage her words for the fear of SDkers is d beginning of wisdom😊😊😊😊

SWAG LAFRESH said...

Heartbreaking chronicles.

I just feel you still want to remain with him.

DonMayor �� said...

Usually I dont do this..

Annonymous 15:25 you will never cease to cry this new year 2017.

So shall it be for you and everyone you love dearly.
Countine your cry

Mama Afrika said...

I feel really sad reading this but yet I wonder; didn't you see any signs before getting into this marriage? Did he just wake up one day and become a different person? #strange

Mama Afrika said...

Maybe she thought having kids would make things better

Anonymous said...

Whoever he is dating will be cursed if she knows he is a married man!

It will never be well with him. He will suffer, reap what he has sown and shed painful tears and live with regrets.

This is just the beginning....

You can't hurt an innocent woman and go scott free

Awon husband snatchers

Chikito The Professional Fire for Fire said...

Ahn ahn! So there are people who can actually admit they like short girls? I see.... πŸ˜†

I'm usually not insensitive but poster I didn't feel so bad after reading your chronicle. As a matter of fact, I stopped where you wrote that many people won't think you have enough reason to leave etc. I am certain you're one of the 'grab the man' 'he will change' 'no man is perfect' 'a bird in hand' team. And I actually feel sorry for you because it seems like you've already condemned yourself to a life of 'singlehood' because you have 3 kids. You indirectly refer to yourself as second-hand. Claiming he ruined your chance of ever having a happy home. Says who??!! Who says you can't marry again? Who says a man can't love you again? Who says you have to keep flogging a dead horse if the marriage is done and dusted? You even said he has made you a single mother of three kids rather than let you stay in the loveless marriage. So if he didn't force you out you would have preferred to stay? To cover shame I guess??

Annoyingly this is the mentality of the average nigerian woman. Before now I will wrote long advice for you but tommorow you come and call me budding gwegs. The only advice I have for you today is that you should learn to love yourself. My thoughts are your confidence was destroyed waaaay before your marriage started. And I still see traces of it in your write up. And stop sounding like a pitiful single mum. Youre a strong woman who's been set free from bondage.

Anonymous said...

Stop using roll on
That's the solution
Talking from experience
You'll see changes in days or rather weeks

Mama Afrika said...

It's very easy to say "pack it up and leave". Will you give her a room in your house?

Quality Madam said...

I may disagree with you bc change is the only thing constant in life. People can pretend to be nice and end up changing or showing their true selves

Lilly simple said...

U mean u got married to a guy that can't kiss u?
Were u guyz on blind dating?
With all the rant u have 3kids?
Gush!!!!
May God strengthen u
As for me after transitional marriage court is d next or else i'll return the bride price,
This is so deep

Anonymous said...

Oh girl, na format be this o o
Madam u are a scammer, you're simply looking for Money here

Baroness X said...

Dear poster, I'm sorry for all you've had to go through. God will see you through. Just breathe a sigh of relief and move on. Thank God for your children, at least you now have a lot of wisdom to keep them away from such loveless marriages in the future.

Anonymous said...

Wow.... I just saw glimpses of my own relationship in this write-up. Almost as if I'm forcing my bf to love me. He can keep malice for days and weeks on end as a way to stay away from me.

He's so impatient with me. Hangs up the phone when we argue and ignores my messages. We have been fighting since Thursday and until today, I've not heard from him.

I definitely nag and frustrate him but I don't deserve this treatment. Tomorrow is valentine's day and if he doesn't reach out I am going to have to walk away. Such pain, 3 years down the drain. But a broken relationship is far better than a broken Marriage - Help me Jesus!

JOYOUS said...

i just hope this is not real coz i dnt get why a man could be this mean to the mother of his kids ....just saying.

i hope you find the happiness you deserve

Lillian French said...

You had low self esteem before meeting this man, otherwise you wouldn't go ahead and have 3 kids with someone who only sleeps with you for procreation, your kiss irritate him and you still bore him 3 kids.You women should stop with the blame game, it's not only irritating but exhausting.When will women start taking responsibilities of their failure and stand up, and tell themselves, you know what? i deserve better? when? Did he put a gun on your head? did he beg you? what is wrong with y'all? Leave madam, leave and take care of yourself and kids you brought in a loveless marriage,it is pathetic that you are ven blaming eveeryhting on him.You asked for it, you allowed him yo treat you like this, you even know how he treat his lovers and the type of women he likes,kai! women love to suffer and then blame it on other people but themselves.

Anonymous said...

Read again... I repeat read again. Pls read it again and again. Thank you

Beloved said...

Az in eh

LAS GidDY said...

And you went ahead and birth 3 children even in the midst of "lovelessness" from your husband??? Hmmmm I can only shake my head at this time.

The Lifted said...

Some men are plain deceitful, their plan is always to use & dump,selfish bunches! Ladies have to be smart & never force any man to be with u,with/without knowing u might have persuaded him into being with you, some even when you are on ur own jejely they will still come & put their evil plans on ur life. may God deliver us singles from deceitful men.Madam you are a victim,but for the love of God pick up ur shattered self, tidy up,face ur children,teach them well,live for them & God will definitely bring you a deserving man

Anonymous said...

πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘

JAMES ADE said...

@ poster, you deserve to leave and just forget him. The road is too tough to journey my dear, some men desire to have a wife like you. I feel your pains and my wish for you is to get happy again. You truely want your marriage intact but this man seems to be carried away by fun. If only you can have a man who truely loves U, if only your heart can be felt, if only you can be pampered with love but it's a pity this man doesn't belong to U. Now you deserve to be happy but take your time, pray for what belongs to U, he might or might not belong to U but say a prayer today and ask God to bring what belongs to U. Take heart my dear, you are passionately felt. Life will treat you different if you wholeheartedly commit your heart to the wrong person. Marital problems everywhere, it is well o

Anonymous said...

This woman sounds like a good Christian woman, wife and mother with a beautiful heart and soul. Ha! Dear Lord, how did the devil bring her into a wrong marriage? Wrong choice of a spouse. Please Lord God, help this good daughter of yours. I don't have a job or source of income, if not, I would have sent you some help. I pray God sends you help.

PL THE GREAT said...

I'm sorry about your marriage. At this point you are the only one who can give yourself the opportunity of being with a man worthy of you darling. It's time to bring down the curtain honey. Take a bow and leave. It's going to be very hard adjusting to your new life without him in the picture but I can assure you that you'll be fine. I'm glad he isn't fighting to keep custody of the kids. Chin up and take the bull by the horn. Your kids need you now more than ever. Pray to God, look pretty and let your hope be brighter than the rising sun.

Lastly, if you're open to another marriage, insist on registry marriage or simply get married in an orthodox church. It's like 2 in 1; both church and court. Pay no attention to ill-informed women yapping about how unnecessary registry marriage is. You can see for yourself how important it is. Without it, a man can boot you out at any moment. Ladies be wise!

Lilly simple said...

If u'r d one that calls him more
If he never get u gift
If he never initiate an outing but only love making *lol*
If u remind him to visit u n he doesn't even bother about your needs
Etc

Anonymous said...

He never loved u yet u waited n had three kids. I'm sorry but I don't pity u o. After all ds, u still hope for a reconciliation? Even saying he will go for marriage counseling? What happened to being on ur own n grooming ur self esteem? Is ur destiny tied to him? Pls stop being foolish n feet on ur feet! U want pity? No girl. Don't force pole to like/love/accept u.

Anonymous said...

One sided is what I'd call this and here are my questions:
1. Your last line; "if he is not into you during courtship, he won't be in marriage . .." doesn't this contradict your earlier assertion that he "deceived you into marrying him . . ."
2. Doesn't the above sound like you were desperate during courtship to marry him?
3. Was there any desperate acts like "tying him in a medium or 'knacking pigeon on his head' " like some brag on this blog?
I ask these because when such desperate measures "expires", the man will behave exactly like you narrated.

Quite empathize with you and ladies need to know who they marry and that can only be during a programmed and planned courtship devoid of sexual distractions.

Anonymous said...

Yori, if anybody steal devil from my life I will be eternally grateful to that person o. English and writing di wicked.πŸ˜…πŸ˜…πŸ˜…πŸ˜…πŸ˜…πŸ˜…πŸ˜…πŸ˜…πŸ˜…πŸ˜…πŸ˜…

missylynn said...

Poster,biko leave him and let God console you for everything you passed through in his hands,don't give up cos I know times are hard esp.with 3kids.stay blessed

Anonymous said...

Can't you bleach. Lighten up your skin a little and take care of yourself. Ladies are no longer ugly.
I don't think you need help. I think you forced yourself to the guy. With all this signs you gave birth to three. Na real WA for you. I dunno if this is a poem or songs.

Peppi said...

But she earns more than the man.

Anonymous said...

Yu r the idiot here,foolish desperate goat like the poster,,she knew he never loved her ,she even have three CHILDREN for him ,,,em sorry to say ,,but she got wat she wanted

Anonymous said...

Time heals all wounds. It may take some time but u will surely smile and even laugh again. Hold on to God. Only HE understands the situation and will see u thru it all. Only HE can console u. U will come out of this better in Jesus name.

Anonymous said...

A school mate of mine got married back in the days. From what we heard, the husband told her she has his name and the house and a car to drive but she should stay away from his life outside the house because he was not going to leave his girlfriend for her.
Madam you said we could ask questions, I know you said you were earning more than him but are you sure you did not in anyway pressurise him into marrying you? I find this behaviour of his very confusing. Despite the lack of love you have children for him, how did you do it? I'm sorry if I sound cynical. I don't want to start blaming any of you but we are only reading your own side.

Anonymous said...

Time heals all wounds. It may take some time but u will surely smile and even laugh again. Hold on to God. Only HE understands the situation and will see u thru it all. Only HE can console u. U will come out of this better in Jesus name.

popeyes said...

Anonymous..... why curse his folks over a blog post? He was only contributing to the conversation and as far as I know, we all dont have to agree on any issue.

Anonymous said...

He's not under any spiritual attack anything ,,,he never loved her ,,she thought he cud have a rethink ,,but it got worse ,,infact if she doesnt leave soon he wud add domestic violence join ,,,

Anonymous said...

Either you have ingrown hairs from shaving or your lymph nodes are swollen.

Adanne said...

Nawa o, I don't even know what to say.

Anonymous said...

She's not leaving. She's looking for a helper via accdtn abi na money.
Madam be looking for help. Don't help yourself!

Anonymous said...

Are you God? heard the mans part of the story? fool.

crystal said...

Very heartbreaking. There are so many men such as this. They deceive you into getting married, then abandon you. It is well with you my dear. I pray angels locate you from this blog.

crystal said...

I say this all the time. Marriage is for men, not boys

Anonymous said...

I just want to hug you. May God comfort you and give you the peace and joy you deserve. Men are horrible, cant u poison him?

Anonymous said...

Change your deodorant

Anonymous said...

Abeg don't shake the world o, is the world involve in your marital issues, abi the world contribute to your problem with Ur spouse abeg face whoever put in U a mess o, no come bomb us join o. Oya Wo Togo πŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒ

cathy wesh said...

Dear Poster
I certainly feel your pain. This beast you just described here is my boyfriend right now personified. But i have had enough of the emotional abuse. In fact you just spoke to me bcos if we had continued to marriage, this would be my marriage,nothing missing.
Thank you and may God grant you all the strength you will need at this time.

Anonymous said...

I am sorry to say this what are u still doing there since u said u were never friends?its reality here dear I have seen cases where the man doesn't come back.if u are leaving pray God gives u a better man and make a better you.u had no business with the man u are writing all of this to.in life most people will love u no matter what and others will despise u no matter how good u think u are.move on already!

Anonymous said...

My story exactly. I am passing through same thing. I don't know where to start. I don't talk to people about my problems so I am kind of dying slowly of emotional torture. I wish to write my story one day.

crystal said...

Story!!!. Poster pls leave so that u can have a breathe of fresh air, build your self esteem. Let him go

Anonymous said...

Don't mind her. Man no gud yet u born reach 3 for am. Madam abeg no dey put fear for single ladies body.

Happyheart said...

Swollen lymph nodes...pls Google it. I have heard that it's sometimes cancerous

Anonymous said...

Yeah
I bet people would have warned you about him before you got married
We aren't not perfect sha.God heals the broken hearted
Take care of your self.loose weight. Do badass hairstyles.look beautiful always .love your children
All is well
Praying for you

Anonymous said...

Abeg gan rest love doctor, what are you saying? Read something well before you dare to comment. Mtchheeeeew.

HummingBird said...

I feel so sad right now..marriage is not by force o...if you ain't man enough please don't venture into it. Poster your decision to leave isn't bad. Go and God will surely take of you and the kids. By the he'll realise himself it will be too late. Sorry about the situation of things

Broomstick said...

LMAO. As Bihari or Trump or even Merkel that you is. Hahahahahahahaha

Broomstick said...

Why refer her deliverance or prayers? Must everything be spiritual? She said the man "NEVER SHOWED HER AFFECTION" yet she married him. Where does the spirituality come in? SMH

#Myself# said...

Did i write this?

Anon u spoke my mind.


Could this be the people i knw or another?
Their story is exactly same, just that d woman has a kid not three.
As the story goes, she bought the guy man with money when d guy has nothing....... No true love and the lady knows that even before they got married.
but she was hoping that he could change.
No knowing that money can't buy love..... As the guy claimed oo.

#Insider

So sorry dear, take care of ur wonderful kids.
May the almighty strengthen u and see u through.
E-hug dear!

Anonymous said...

Omg! Dear poster, it is better to stay alone than to allow someone ridicule you like this. No woman, however she looks, deserves this sort of treatment. Am a man and I must say that, this man you mentioned here should not be in any marriage. So, you are not the problem and there is nothing wrong with you. Stay away from him! You can find peace and joy without him.
From your write up, you cherish and appeal to a lovely, decent and joyful home. That is the mindset of an emotionally healthy person. The man you talked about here doesn't strike me as an emotionally available person, he can hop around but will find it challenging to meet up to a woman's normal emotional needs. Even if he's not into you, that is no excuse. You don't need to be into people to treat them right. Love is principally a choice not necessarily the way you feel about someone. Many times, feelings follow our decision to love and they are usually deeper than feelings that precede love. If you cannot love in spite of, stay away from marriage, please. The kind of love recommended in the bible for a husband toward the wife, is agape (love based on decision or choice, not based on feelings). If you want to relate with your wife only on the basis of feelings, that marriage will sure head for the rocks. Having said that, let me say this, feelings are important because they help us enjoy our relationships. But, they should never dictate who you love or don't love, better still, they should accompany love.
Lesson to ladies: never force yourself on any man. If you are not sure of him to meet your emotional needs especially, don't rest content the fact that he spoils you with money. It takes an emotionally available man, irrespective of how rich he is, to meet the emotional needs of a woman.

Relationship/Marriage Counsellor.

Broomstick said...

Poster, as much as I empathize with you, some things need a bit of clarification. The guy didn't show affection while you were dating, what and how did your feelings develop? Pre-marriage, was there pressure on your part to get married? Pressure from family and friends(probably not wanting to be the only single friend)? The emotional abuse was there throughout and you still bore 3 kids for him? How? Why? I can't imagine not being kissed by my man. For me, kissing is the lifewire of my getting it on. If you're bent on leaving the marriage, please let your husband leave your current place of abode for you and the kids. Stop seeking vilification from him, concentrate on your kids and treat him like a known stranger. Greetings(only if he usually responds) and "mermaid" life should be your creed now. When he's tired, he will move out. As long as he's in that house though, don't renew the rent alone. If he wants you to move out, let him rent a place for you. I pray God grants you peace cos you seem to need it

miss Fee said...

God bless you dear. She doesn't want to leave and even if she does, he'd have to force her out and she would continue to hope he'd come back some day. I'm handling a case like that presently.

Brain wave said...

doppel ganger or what ever you call yourself. Who do you think you are to be as insensitive as you are. All you know is to tear people apart. I bet your a bitter unmarried hag. go and marry and let us know how perfectly yours turns out. If you have no words of consolation to add to such a pitiable narrative please zip your smelly mouth.

Anonymous said...

Omg! I think its the deodorant, I totally missed that.. I changed to another one not too long b4 I noticed the lumps.. May the grace of God save us all 4rm 'cancer' ehhh! Anywy God bless u all for being so kind, all the same, id go to d hosp again tomorrow.. stay blessed y'all, I feel a little bit relieved

mama wonder said...

U must have seen the signs when u two were dating,but u wanted to bear Mrs by force.... U waited till u had 3kids,how were u coping ?? Its a pity,for me,any man that makes me feel less,it cnt work,I have met 3 proud guys like that,I walked,instead of me to bear Mrs n inside I'm dying ,I will rather stay single,see what societal pressure has gotten u,just take ur treasures n leave that hell....

Amacastel said...

Poster God will send a good man to u

Monkeynofine said...

All these curse on top blog post? O so easy oooo

Monkeynofine said...

Hope u guys no longer live together otherwise na Una two to share this curse 😐 #justsaying

Monkeynofine said...

And if he reaches out to u tomorrow u will still accept him back abi? And after 2years of marriage with plenty kids u will now send in your chronicle for we to blame or cursed the man in question? Why not use this opportunity to move on now before it's too late?

Monkeynofine said...

The signs Re always there...... Some women are just to blind ...

Anonymous said...

Don idiot back to you till you and your generation quench

Anonymous said...

Poster there's still hope for ur marriage. Take him up in prayer . Turn a deaf blind person and watch the turnaround. Most importantly fast sincerely and pray without ceasing. If you are fat ,lose weight, if you smell in ur vjay go and buy balance active. If ur rude to him tie ur tongue. Pretend u have a boyfriend. Soak him like cloth in prayer. The devil is on a rampage with marriage. If u think ull be happier when you leave ,big lie . Chances are you may remain single and bitter for life . It's best ur in and repair it than out . Let go of past hurt in ur heart towards him grudges kill marriage like mad . U also hurt him too .its not just him . Tell urself the truth. Two is better than one . A stitch in time saves nine. God can make ur marriage whole again. Trust God.

Anonymous said...

It's not even a matter of leaving. Mine was worse until I left,now every body is begging me to come back. Including my people,this guy has virtually gone to every body that knows me,and kept begging them. I'm totally confused because I've met a new person that is 10times better than my husband.

I don't even know how to go about it cos my people are still holding my dowry. He's begging,his family are begging but am tired of his shits. #Confused much#

AppleofGodseyeoriginal said...

At first I thought I wrote this until I got to the part of the children,and not being married in court,we married in trade Court n Church respectively, poster I can boldly say I know how u feel cos I have been there!as a matter of fact I just remember his last birthday before things fell totally apart,he had already moved d master bedroom's TV to d strange woman's house&some of his clothes,then he came home a day to his birthday, I was happy,but d happiness was cut short d next day which was his birthday, I crawed on my knees from d bedroom where he was dressing up,down to the back door of the kitchen with tears begging him to pls let me share in his joy,to celebrate his birthday with him as his wife I held his trousers crying, he just looked at me threw my hand off n picked his car key n left,that was the day I made up my mind to cry no more,God will come through for u poster.its not easy at all.

Anonymous said...

Fantastic!

Creamie said...

Can you drop your contact @ Anon 17: 01 marriage counsellor, thanks

Anonymous said...

Did you forget? It's Valentine tomirrow. Don't worry he will call and make up day after Val. Find yourself a man worthy of submission not this over sensitive leg kicking toddler brain adult.

TOUCH CEE said...

"You dnt need to be into people to treat them right"...#wordfortheweek. This applies to Every kind of relationship. Lets learn to stop emotionally bullying others...nd treat them right. Thank you sir/ma...

Anonymous said...

God alone will stand by you. he is an abuser and not worth you. though the story is one sided, notin shud make a man marry a woman he does not love as much. and 15k is not even enuf for 1 kid not to talk of 3 kids. chai, the devil is just hovering around marriages. i am single and have prayed to God to give me a gud man.

Anonymous said...

Women, are you really that foolish? How can you allow another human imperfect human being diminish the quality of your life so? Do you really need somebody else to tell you what you need to do? If you think you haven't had enough of the BS, stay on and if you think you have, move on. One advice, the quicker you take charge of your life, the sooner you start to reap the benefit. And women, please stop having so many kids with worthless human beings. They just end up making you suffer bringing them up and when the time comes, they waltz back in and claim parental rights. And you cannot blame kids, many of them still love their horrible parents regardless how they were treated.

Women just need to start using their brain. It's 2017.

Anonymous said...

SINGLE guys or ladies, pls when anyone tells you not to marry a person, listen ,pray and watch out for the signs. soooooooooo many marriages will not last no be curse. i know a guy who married a lady, as the guy just broke she pack run,that is not a gud wife material.babe wey no dey work and the husband dey try for her. very insatiable marriage is not based on material things only.

Anonymous said...

Nobody can kill your esteem unless you allowed them. You owe yourself an apology for doing this to yourself. You want him to go for counseling... you still hope to reconcile with a person like this? Sorry to be harsh but are you dim? Well I don't blame you at all. I blame this wicked culture of ours and how these preachers read the holy books from only one part of their brains. Good luck to you.

Single Mom said...

Women go through a lot in this life, Lord fix it.


Long live SDK

Nki said...

This is the most heart-wrenching chronicle I have ever read!😞😞😞
May God see you through this trying time. There's always light at the end of the tunnels of life. Take care dear.

Dre said...

Thank you Relationship/marriage counsellor for your objective point of view.
I fail to understand why some will choose to put the blame on the victim by insinuating she was desperate or forced herself on him. Even if she did.. Is the man a child that should be told what to do?? I tire for some people. No sympathy.

Nobody deserves to be treated this way. She won't be completely faultless but we give first line advice based on what we read here.
Poster please take heart. It is not the end of life. As long as there is life, there is hope.

Your journey to healing will be long and will involve forgiving him, forgiving and loving yourself. You made a wrong choice but that should not be the end of you. Please consider the option of separation first before divorce and continue to pray for God's will to be done in your marriage.

Your kids are the most important people right now and you need to stay strong for them plus instill a positive self-image in them.
Remember that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

Lily Rose said...

God will bless you ma! You spoke my mind concerning nigerian women who are always playing the victim role & never taking responsibility for their choices, mistakes and life. God bless you again. It's so weird because you are my namesake.lol

Lily Rose said...

Ask her o. Her last line of advice gave her away. So he wasn't into you and you married him? Now you are cursing up & down, blaming him for your problems rather than taking responsibility, blaming your mistakes and learning from them. If you don't do these, you will only end up in the same situation over & over again.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous 16:05, bleachin won't help OK , he doesn't love u means he doesn't love u, Dat was Wat happened to toke

CrazyHornyWife said...

I have a friend going tru same issue the only difference is she has 5kids.
The only question I asked her was,why didn't you stop having babies after you birth the first one to enable you both work on your marriage? So poster am asking you same question,bcoz I dont get it.

Anonymous said...

Hello Poster, from my little experience, while emotions plays in, do not let it ruin your home. Are you physically abused? If no, deposit that emotions in the trash for the time being. Your husband wants you out of the way so he can exhibit his youthful exoberant to the fullest, but that you will have to prayerfully, forcefully take away from him in a subtle way;
1. Before you got married, what made you happy...if it will not affect your home, resume it!
2. Join your favourite unit in church, and get committed to it.
3. Keep treating your husband like the King, say nice things about him to your kids, you should all keep seeing him as the hero...while you watch his conscience speak to him on your behalf.
4. Love yourself (until you love yourself, it is selfish of you to expect another to love you), enjoy your company, try to treat yourself right by paying more attention to your body: stay fit, eat right(fruits and vegetables makes you smell good down there, while fries has a way of messing it up), smell good at all times, you do not necessarily need to always dress sexy...just dress well.
5. Try to find out from another if you have mouth odour, if yes, take your time to treat it...if no, just be comfortable in your skin(very important)
6. Get a goal, if you do not have one already...visualize it, start planning it no matter how slow you have to start, the thought of that in particular should keep you going, while your kids should always be your joy.
7. Learn the power of silence and smiles(forcefully fake it until it becomes real)...talk less to your friends especially about your home, instead learn to listen to messages and more of gospel musics, they have a way of making the heart merry and leaving you at peace (that should be your greatest priority).
*i have some cool gospel messages that might help, you can reply beneath my post if interested.

Stay in your home and make it a green pasture for all, except it is a matter of life and death. Your husband and kids will be grateful to you someday...and you will have every cause to testify of the Lord's goodness soon.

Arise and shine, for your light is come and the Glory of the Lord is risen upon you! Do not give ma'am!

Omotola Brianna said...

Thank u monkeynofine. I don't even know what is going on in some pple's head. Woman there is something they call self esteem, work on it.

Anonymous said...

We need to be very careful here in heaping curses on the husband. We should hear from him and balance the story before making conclusions. Most women always portray themselves as victims, without providing full and true details - any marriage breakdown is a shared responsibility between the husband and wife - each has a huge blame.

By the way, I am a man and in my second marriage. My first marriage was very, very turbulent and didn't last up to a year - I have a beautiful daughter from the relationship. My second marriage is blissful (18years now) and I thank God for it. I wish I have the time and energy to share my divorce story on this blog. I am not a saint but I cherish marital life and would make any sacrifice to make my marriage work 'cos of my kids sake and the peaceful/happy home I grew up - my late parents are still my heroes in death and were a model to other families, with regards to marriage.

Please, poster or your husband, give us the WHOLE story! Women, your tongues are more deadly than a two-edged sword! The way you said you earned more than him, was the same way my ex-wife used to tell me my "life history of abject poverty", cos things were tough with me - I was just starting my banking career after qualifying as a Chartered Accountant; I refused to do deals in the bank then, like my other colleagues, to satisfy her high tastes and demands. I had to take a quick decision and save my life and career. Where are we now, 23years down the line - I thank God for His immeasurable provisions and blessings; while the Ex is still stagnant.

Omotola Brianna said...

U said it all. Pple need to start believing in themselves. U don't need anyone to make u happy but urself. Stop tying ur life around pple's. I can never trade my peace of mind or happiness for anything or anybody in this life.

Chikito The Professional Fire for Fire said...

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ you're such a joker!!

Anonymous said...

Women, phewww! So until now, you didn't know you deserved better. You will now go and bringing up those kids with bitterness as if they forced you. When you want to make a man your God.Kontinu

Andromeda O said...

This made me very sad.
Poster, stop giving yourself hope;
Saying if he comes back and all...
You don't deserve this emotional torture.
You don't deserve this kind of nonsense.
Move on!
It goes to show how important self-love is.
As tolerant and patient as I am, I can't take bullshit from any man.
Especially the deliberate ones they throw at you.
And the funny thing is men can't take what they dish out.
No man is worth the trouble.

Also, the signs are always there.
I once dated a time-waster. Very arrogant too(he told me this himself).
Why blow hot and cold, really?
C'mon, be straight with me, I said.
It's either you want in or you want out.
No one's got time for games.
You call yourself a responsible man? act like it!
Dumped his rich, arrogant arse and moved on.
He came back months later with some bullshit story, blaming me for not being patient (can you imagine?) but dude still had the same stinking attitude.
Didn't even give him the time of day.
Love myself too much to go and enter one chance for life.

Ladies, please use your head.
God didn't just give you a heart.
If what you typed is true, Poster, my God will comfort you.
Do not tear yourself down or believe the idiot's words.
Someone will come along who will love you the way a man should love a woman.
Do not despair, ok?

Andromeda O said...

Why do you people talk like this?
Pray and fast sincerely, lose weight, etc?
It won't work!
Why? Cos the man never loved her.
It's different if he once did then he changed.
But she stated it clearly that he never did. Period.
What kinda miracle are you expecting to happen?
She entered the wrong marriage and has been given the opportunity to leave and start afresh, no matter how harsh it sounds.
That man was never hers.
I strongly believe in fasting and prayer but let's quit trying to be spiritual in matters that are obviously logical.

Monkeynofine said...

All ths because I want a man to love u? Issorite

Ralu M said...

I feel for you poster, I really do. The worst thing that can happen to any woman or man in marriage is to love who doesn't love you back. Loneliness is a silent killer and destroyer but in marriage, it is more deadly. Leave my dear and regain your sanity. I wish you stay in Lagos cos I'll love to make you my friend. The road will be tough but I pray you find happiness again.
It's not you, it's him and emotionally incapable of handling marriage and what it entails.
I'll say a prayer for you 😚

Akorli Joel Ifelani said...

I don't like to judge but if this is, it's not fair.

AGELESS T said...

Anon 16:23, you are cray! You really cracked me up. "Oya wo Togo"? Make she go bomb them there abi? As if Togo is not part of the world. Ahahaha...

@anon15:17, may God heal you. Please let go and let GOD. *hugs

Sheyi Kolawole said...

Have u thought of war room? Have u thought of serious prayers? Pls reconsider for d sake of ur kids, they will suffer the more.

Anonymous said...

Don't ever go back to ur vomit

QUEEN AMY Loves ACCESS BANK said...

Kudos Lilly you answered correctly

Anonymous said...

Exactly my thought.

MrsBee

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry to say, but I don't pity you at all,this story reminds me of that bv who sent chronicles about her friend who left abroad to owerri for a man she claims she loves But knows that does not love her back too,please ladies love yourself, never force a man to marry you and do not be desperate, u will end up at the losing end,my advice to you, stop collecting his money and hustle, look good and learn to love yourself, at the end of the day u can see no woman can ever tie a man down and be happy, forgive him and develop self esteem, it is only one life you have, May God see you through...
Anonypreneur

Left handed queen said...

This is heart breaking, may God console her

DonMayor �� said...

You dey mind her ? The guy no good, you were banging away..

Anonymous said...

Firstly, that you wedded traditionally is not an excuse for you not to go to court.

Poster, please clean your eyes , go and find a good lawyer. Cry all you want because it is truly worth crying for but you will still have to clean your tears and be strong for your kids. This is the time for you to consult a good lawyer and start discussing spousal support and child support. If you keep on crying and begging, he will still leave and you will even get nothing. Very soon, he will lay a false accusation on you and you will be too ashamed to defend yourself.

Love yourself, put your kids first and think about their future. Whether you did a customary wedding, it does not exclude you from benefiting from child support or spousal.

Woman, be strong
Making you a single mother... Really. You said that in the most disgusting way. Is it the shame? You prefer to stay put and suffer. You prefer your children to grow up knowing their Daddy never loved their mommy. You want to start overcompensating for the love you never got from your husband by seeking it from your son thereby turning to a mean mother-in-law.

You need to take a moment and say thank you to that man for leaving. You may not see that he did you a favor but you will see it someday and would wish he left sooner.

Now is the time
Talk to God
Receive counselling
Go to court and seek for child support
Hit the gym
Get a help for your kids and put them in school
Look good

You will find someone that would love you. Change your belief. Maybe you believe once you are a single mother that is equal to death, change it. God is the God of restoration. He will restore unto you what you have lost. Trust God.

KING XOXO MYSTERY

Anonymous said...

Don't even try it
Innugo
Don't think of it

Anonymous said...

Anon 17:47 DONT YOU EVER GO BACK

Anonymous said...

But dating isn't overrated?

Chikito The Professional Fire for Fire said...

Please share your divorce story. I'm tired of reading from only women.

Anonymous said...

So you are still monitoring your ex

TOUCH CEE said...

Counsellor"...i want to meet you. Pls contact me @lemzychic4real@yahoo.com

DonMayor �� said...

Yinmu. You hi still open totoh tonight.

Anonymous said...

Anon 15:05, you are an idiot. Ewu Gambia. God punish you for asking those foolish questions.

Anonymous said...

THIS IS MY STORY. NOTHING DIFFERENT,HOWEVER AFTER 5 MISERABLE YEARS IVE TAKEN MY 3 ANGELS AND MOVED TO JAND AND GOTTEN MY PEACE BACK. STILL STRUGGLING WITH SELF ESTEEM BUT MY THERAPIST IS DOING A LOT TO HELP. MY KIDS ARE SO HAPPY AND HAVE NO CONTACT WHATSOEVER WITH THAT DEMON CALLED HUSBAND. I WISH HIM LUCK WITH HIS CONCUBINES AND DONT CARE WHAT HE DOES WITH HIS LIFE.! MSHEWW

Anonymous said...

So if he's tired, why is it you moving out? I'm confused.... My dear, don't go anywhere jorrrr... he can't have it that easy! If he has a new lover, they should both go and rent a place... nonsense.

Peaches and Cream said...

Dear Poster, indeed you have a beautiful spirit. I read your chronicle over and over again. In all,i observed, you never cursed your husband. Despite the hurt and betrayal. You are a rare breed. The Lord will surely fight for you

Miss Ess said...

He will not come back ans don't wbwm think of him to be back. Let him go God almighty will take care of you and your children, that one is certain. God is still faithful

Mrs anonymous said...

All this sad tales about marriage!I am sure he didn't start all this after your bride price was paid,you believed he will change.Those kids need a good and healthy environment to grow up so they won't loose their self esteem & think it's a good habit to treat people like thrash.I can't believe you are thinking of taking him back,he has never loved you & will never will.If he can't love you after three kids,when will he love you?Deep down,you know why he married you.On judgement day,we won't be judged by our marital status so give yourself brain oh.Single mother is not a disease

Lacey Love said...

Exactly my thought. Poster if you have not left the marriage yet, I think it's unwise to place any curse on the man.

Anonymous said...

True! Madam get a lawyer asap. Wish you had done a court wedding too because you might be able to get more from him

Anonymous said...

You too give the whole story because your own story is not complete chacha!

Anonymous said...

Absolutely no apologies, yaaawwwwnnnn! Next chronicle please!

Ronalda. said...

My darling, It's actually cathartic to vent in writing or orally. You'll still be hurting but you'll feel a tad lighter. However, the 1st step on the road to recovery is honesty and taking responsibility for your actions. "When you knew I wasn't your type, why did you marry me?" you asked, but the real question should be, why did you marry him, knowing fully well he wasn't in love with you and refused to seal the marriage at the Registry? Why allow yourself to be shortchanged?

Honey, I know your heart is breaking and I don't want to sound insensitive but you have to stop this blame game and take full responsibility for your actions. He didn't deny you the opportunity of meeting a man who will love you, warts and all, you denied yourself by saying "yes" to the wrong guy. It wasn't an arranged marriage, you enter of your own volition. A Queen can never allow herself be relegated to the position of the handmaid.‎ You already had issues with your self-esteem, he only cracked what was already broken.

You said he never showed you affection nor were you guys ever friends. Did you really think you alone could carry the burden of trying to make him fall in love with you? Sweetie, a man who doesn't love you and wants you out of his life, would not give the marriage the opportunity to work. In fact, the harder you try to make it work, the more irritating you'll be to him.‎‎

Ronalda. said...

You keep saying he deceived you to marry him, how exactly did he do that? Because it seems the reverse is the case. You've said he never loved you, so it's not like he played you by being all lovey dovey ‎initially, only to become a monster after you married him. It's like Toke's account of what happened between Maje and herself. That marriage, much like yours, was D.O.A.

Personally, I feel you waited too long to get help. You should have separated long ago but you remained and even had 3 children for a man who refuses to kiss you even when you beg for it. Lord have mercy! You reduced your value to him by condoning all the trash he hauled at you. I'm sorry my love but I doubt this man will ever respect you. At the point he refused marriage at the registry, that would have been the best time to reject his proposal. You already knew your marriage will be a loveless one but you were blinded by your feelings. This guy was already planning an exit strategy even before he married you. The "mene mene tekel upharsin" was boldly exhibited but you refused to see it. ‎

What surprises me is, it appears the reason for this rant is because he asked you to move out. We probably wouldn't have read your story if he didn't. More negatively amazing is the fact that you're still hoping for a reconciliation! Really?After all the emotional and psychological abuse? Wow! As upset as you are now, you're still clinging to him, dishing out the conditions for reconciliation. A man who never loved you, going for marriage counselling? You said he has no idea how to treat a wife but you also stated earlier that he treats his lovers right. Can't you see? you're the one he doesn't want to treat right. This same monster will be an amazing husband to the woman for whom his heart beats.

You are still very much into this husband and marriage of yours. You claim you've had enough and you want to leave with the little dignity you have left, but you are still waiting for him to marry someone else before you return the bride price. There are too many contradictory statements in your writeup because your head is telling you what your heart is refusing to heed. There's an internal conflict. If you really want to leave with what is left of your dignity, why not return the bride price instead of waiting to see how far he will go with a new wife? Just so you know, as long as you haven't refunded the bride price, your marriage still subsists and in that case, all he can do is another traditional marriage. He can't get married at the Registry to another woman without first ‎divorcing you. 

Sweetheart, I'm not sure you can pray for God to put love in the heart of a man who never loved you. God respects free will. I believe it's when a man who loved you initially, stops loving you and starts acting strange, a prayer for restoration will work.‎ I'm sorry that you have to go through all these, I pray you find rest and peace in whatever decision you choose.
#e-bearhugs.‎

sisi eko said...

Waoo this is sad. @Apple of God's eye.. OMG I don't know which of the stories hit me more. What women endure in their marriage. Gosh. I wish you well dear, it's only a matter of time before true love finds you.

Poster I feel your pains deeply. This is quite emotional. My question is, did he actually propose marriage to u? Or u were forced to marry cos u were pregnant? Cos that seem to be the case here and it's always a bad move.

No woman should force any man to marry her, not even bcos of pregnancy. It's better to be a single mom than go through this crap. If the feeling aint mutual, sisters forget it. I wish u well.

sisi eko said...

Anonymous 17:47, it's good you are firm with your decision, but please do not date the ne man yet. I repeat, do not date the new man yet. Let this whole process sink in first. Hurt if u must but do not use the new man as a rebound to heal cos it'll sometimes backfire. Ask the new guy to give u a breather whilst u sort your husband out.

Take time out to yourself and do not get carried away with comparing the new man to ur ex. As it always seems rosy and sweet with every new guy, so it's too early to determine which of them is better. Bet you'd agree that ur estranged husband was also loving when u started. So please take your time. You may even repair the marriage if things are still repairable. Godspeed.

sisi eko said...

Perfect

Green Field said...

Poster, a lot of good advice has been giving, heed them. Especially chikito, xoxo and Romalda. Just leave , u will survive, thank God u have something doing.

It will be difficult at first but eventually I will pick the scattered pieces of ur life, in time u might wonder what u saw in him that made u waste years with him. May God bless you

Anonymous said...

My heart really aches for you. I have ended relationship because the lady in question wasn't my type. (fair and chubby). And for very long I have felt I was wicked, but your story has thought me a lot. Leading people on is dangerous and only leads to sad situations. I am not yet married but may God give me the wisdom and maturity for the institution of marriage

Anonymous said...

This reminds me of Toke Makinwa. He won't change when you get married, it even worsens.

Anonymous said...

He probably married you for your money.

Welcome to my World said...

The good lord will settle you

Anonymous said...

See people agreeing to rubbish comment. We women's are our worst critic. Were you there with her to be certain about anything. I have seen people in love when they wedded but today the marriage is broken. Pray that neither of you succomb to the pressures in marriage. Marriage is not easy. It's Far different from dating game where the woman has her way 99.9% of the time. Whenever my hubby and I are quarreling I end up begging him. It never happened once when we were dating. Now I have to beg him to eat. Or talk to me. Even when I say this is the last time I will beg him . i don't understand the issue with Nigerian men but I think once they get married they become something else . They turn their wife to robot and maid at the same time. Not wanting to do anything but eat and go to work. Forgetting that we also have work. I think we women grew and evolved from housewives to working class mum but men remained where they are. My hubby wants me to earn a masters work and take care of our son and him when I'm not a robot. I expect him to help out with our son when he's around but the reverse is the case .

Anonymous said...

Hi Babe yes I called u a babe please wake up and shake off this negativity around you. Make a deliberate effort to stay happy and give him space . I feel your pain. But there is a way around issues like this.Divorve is not only the solution When last did you give your self a treat. You making him feel too important and that's why he is making all this shakara. please get some new clothes, make up and make urself beautiful and if possible start behaving as is u careless about what he thinks of you. be the person u should be and be happy with yourself. With your lovely kids u have a lot to be grateful to the Most High. The less your feel bordered about his attitude u would be surprise how he will start sniffing around you to know what u up to.

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