Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: My Divorce Story -8

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Monday, 6 February 2017

My Divorce Story -8

Na wah...poverty induced divorce....






Dear Stella,here is my story. I hope others learn from it. 



 I got married some years ago. His family have always been against our marriage. I remember sending you my story when the wedding was almost called off because his parent and elder sister insisted on him building a house and training his younger siblings before getting married. 


We practically begged them to allow us marry. on the wedding day,you could tell they were not in support as they sat like every other guest. His mother did not even attend the church wedding,saying she was too tired from activities of the previous day which was the traditional. fast forward to present day. we have 2 kids and he lost his job,I also lost mine. 


The kids also have a medical condition and it has been really tough. his family was still very demanding despite knowing we were both jobless. they started accusing me of being the one controlling him,that he is spending his money on me alone.they accuse me openly and even stopped talking to me. my name and picture was even taken to prayer houses and shrines. 

I know because one of them told me.I tried my best to help either of us get a job again.Stella,i even disturbed you with mails several times.although i am a university graduate,but I did all sorts of side jobs to help support and sustain the family. my family was very supportive. my mum would always send us food stuff and money. but he became verbally abusive yet I endured until this last straw. he slapped me from my sleep and started hitting me every where. it was midnight.

He then said he was going to kill me and kill himself so we can all have peace. he was also drunk . I managed to run out almost naked. then I was a able to get my kids the next day. no remorse or apology from him. I went back to my village. since I got here,I have been having pains in the ear he slapped me.then I noticed I can't control that part of my face. it has affected my speech.


when am drinking any liquid,it pours on me. I have checked Google and am scared from what am seeing. I have an appointment with the doctor this morning and I really pray I can get drugs that will help. I am not even up to 30 and marriage has messed up my life. I was never beaten by my own father when he was alive. but a man I love and married has hit me almost to a state of deformity.lets all say no to domestic violence.


LESSONS:
if your spouse family is not in support of your union,especially his mother,please don't go ahead.you need their support all the way.

I am back to point zero but am glad I came out with my life. plz say a word of prayer for me,I need to be in sound health to be able to work and take care of my children.


Pele....Whats the link to your chronicle or story?..You are not Divorced,you are ESTRANGED FROM YOUR SPOUSE.....Divorce is when all legal document is signed,sealed and delivered and pronounced that both parties can go their separate ways.




82 comments:

Miss Ess said...

Hian! This one is frustrated and aggrevated beating, i feel so sorry for you. May God heal you

STARRY LARRY said...

Any marriage that either of the 2 families is against mostly ends in separation. May God restore your health dear





*Larry was here*

Yori Yori Princess Loveme Jeje said...

hmmmmmmmm what a world we live in. Madam may God Almighty heal you so that you can enjoy your children. May you never be in any difficult situation again Amen.

Na wa ooo family foundation faulty right from the beginning.

Yvonne said...

So sorry Poster! Good you learnt your lessons. Thank God you came out alive with your children. May God restore all you have lost.

BEDS AND ROSES said...

Not up to 30 and uv been through all this, lord is your strength.
Pls why were you so desperate so young.
The truth is we are in Africa, if one or both parents are not party to ur marriage, pls back off. Peace of mind in marriage is very crucial, and if you don't have peace with ur in-laws it causes so much in a marriage.
I hope you heal from all this. And pls get your ears checked at a hospital, you probably have an ear infection, you need prescribed anti-biotics and ear drop.
Ear infections can turn deadly, I know someone that almost died from untreated ear infection.

Joblesshousewife said...

Na Wah... Na Real Wah...

Timaro said...

Pray
Don't just pray,pray in faith.
The loss of your jobs,your husband turning away from you are all manipulations from his family. I've said a prayer for you.

Anonymous said...

Oga oo. Women please let's take learning. Marriages against the family wish is a no no.

chikky said...

Marriage is not a do or die affair, have a distant cousin, his family never supported his union with his wife, especially his mom, they frustrated the girl. Years later,He became sick, don't know the cause of the sickness, he went to a herbalist and was given a charm, his parents asked the wife to carry the charm round the village alone in the middle of the night, she wanted to keep her home so she did, days later she became sick and died but not without telling her sister what happened, the husband is well now and going about his business, he exchanged her life for his, she was just 25yrs with two kids.

Maame Esi said...

Hmmmm, this is sad, it is well.

Honeybunny said...

Hmmm
This is sad.
May the Lord take control
As Sdk said, ur estranged from ur hubby
God knows u can go back to him if he has changed & tins are better.

Eminado Onimisi said...

So sorry poster. Like I once said here, a woman needs to be spiritually endowed to enjoy her home. Your in laws must have turned your husband's heart against you. Besides, why should all this misfortune befall you after marriage? My dear get down on your knees and fight your battles. If you have to chain your wicked in laws, do that. Deal with them mercilessly that their spiritualists would be too scared to involve themselves.

Cathryn Praise said...

Oh my God!

sylvia said...

so you were both jobless yet you carry belle number 2? Couldnt you figure that contraceptive is cheaper than a pack of pampers? On top of that you were doing side jobs to give your hubby money for drink?
It is a waawuu....thank God you are out of that situation ----- though i think you are still holding out for a reconciliation if your hubby comes begging

Anonymous said...

na wa o. at less than 30, i was not even thinking about marriage but how to make my money and get a good job. ladies, ladies, ladies .how many times i call out? pls dont marry a man whose family does not approve of you.

Sexy Candy YumYum (MIND SO MILITARY) said...

maybe he even used juju to slap her, very bad. i learnt that long ago never to marry a man when his family aren't in support of d union. when a woman vow u will not marry her son to your face, verbally or by action she meant it. i know some o e her MIL told her that if she like she should birth six kids for her son, she will not accept her, Lo and behold she left aftet the birth of her sixth kid.

Kim Kardashian Aka portable queen of sdk blog said...

My dear u saw the signs but wanted to get married against all odds.

How can u agree to marry a man when u know his family doesn't want u?

Love isn't enough when it comes to some things in marriage.


I wish u all the best

missylynn said...

Nawaooooo
God will heal you and provide for you and your kids

BLUNT CHIC said...

So you are Mrs what now?.

Sorry o

Sexy Candy YumYum (MIND SO MILITARY) said...

i and my ex Doc. bf ended our relationship when we started planning to get married and my dad kicked against our union, a guy that loved me to death, he's got it all; Money, Spoils me silly with gifts, Sugar dick, head master, sex guru, he know where to touch and fiam! i don turn mumu. i nearly disobeyed my dad coz of him but d last day i talked, begged and cried to my dad on the issue again, he felt sorry but his words shocked me, he said "i understand how you feel my daughter but at this point you have to choose between me and him" i was like 😯? i received sense straight! me that I'm a daddy's girl and that will b d first time in my entire life that my dad will refuse my request. so i had to let go thoh not easy on us both then but thank God today we are both happily married, we married d same year, a month apart. he chose my birthday as his wedding date. bless u tripple A

Anonymous said...

honestly i think people should stop getting married against either family's wish.. it's very risky. I personally called off an engagement because the guy's wouldn't accept me, this was a guy a gave so many years of my life(not my totoh, yes because it was a no sex relationship) it was painful to let go, after we had prayed and done all we could to convince the father & he still said no, I just freed the guy, now he is married and I'm still single

by the way, this is turning into a sob story,I think people are using the segment to indirectly beg..some of these stories might be true, but believe u me, some are fabricated (poster I'm not saying that this your own is fabricated o)

my dear, I can only ask that God should intervene in your home. God's strength

Anonymous said...

Is this story for real? Things are really happening in this Nigeria.

LUCILE COCONUT OIL ABUJA 07059605320 Pin- 2BC6235E said...

Yes you need their blessings

Cherry Topaz said...

Wow!! Are you for real or is this from a movie script? If it's real, them may the man and his parents die a very painful and shameful death. Tueh!

Cherry Topaz said...

Wow!! Are you for real or is this from a movie script? If it's real, them may the man and his parents die a very painful and shameful death. Tueh!

BLUNT CHIC said...

Chikito darling is that you?

Uriel (Freshdew) said...

😱 What a sad story, it is well with you.

Choi!x2 = Choi!Choi! said...

This one is 'no money no love' kinda separation. I pray you or your hubby get something doing so that your home can be restored.

Anonymous said...

Madam sorry for your experience but I have a question, let's say this guy is Fulani, everything you want in a man & from a stupendously wealthy family & money isn't anything to them & your mother says over her dead body will you marry a Fulani man. Will you go ahead with it and will you be giving advice from hell that when either parents are against it, don't go on with the marriage?

Jasmine said...

Hmmmm, sorry o. You'll get better

Anonymous said...

What sort of medical conditions do your kids have???


My dear,your No1 lesson learnt is for Real.

Anonymous said...

Bell Palsy is the medical condition. Your mouth becomes slack, the part of d face affected cannot move. Pronouncing the letter P will be impossible. Usually brought on by stress. Google is your friend. Google d drugs to use or see a doctor but be sure to guide them right before they start diagnosing rubbish like they did to me. It can be reversed. Mine was totally reversed.

Anonymous said...

Lord God.


Mrs korks I ask " do I really need to get married? "

The drama is unending.

Tayan Taylor said...

Eya,when the man family are against you,there will always be issues

LOLLAH said...

I don't think she should go back even if they are financially stable? The guy can't handle pressure and can't control his anger. How can he hit her so hard out of frustration? If you go back and things get worse trust me nah your dead body dem go carry out

Anonymous said...

My brother married without parental support! I remember my mom telling him if there's any problem in the marriage not involved her cos she never support his wife and her selfish self might cause the marriage to break up. 12 years down, one wouldn't hear of them having issues unless you visit them. They never share problems with any of my family members. Even when the wife wants show herself, he will gently caution her. Now she is best daughter in law in my family because she minds her business. And she does response when one brings troubles to her doorsteps. She has 6daughters and no one is complaining.

Anonymous said...

Na wetin good for una be dat...!if una see a nice caring guy una go dey misbehave e beta make dem slap all una wella.no pity for any woman .

Anonymous said...

na wa o.so olori footwear as u hear say Stella wan dash u 100k na him u come out of annoy more abi.OK o

Anonymous said...

Some families are pure evil! They want him to train all his siblings to school and build a house for their mother, what happened to their father or them hustling for themselves? Is he their atm?

When he has spent all his life and money to take care of them, he will marry at old age, start having children at old age, probably retire before his children will enter university,and no money to pay school fees,and his siblings will face their own family or expecting more from him.

Abeg,is it a curse to be a first born in a family? I married to a first born, and it is the same problem. I endured for 11 years, he trained them and built a house for them. You will think they will let him be? MBANU! Still asking, asking and asking. Won't he train our own children? He too is tired!

Anonymous said...

Oh My God!!!
Y are humans so evil?
This hurts even more than what I am experiencing.
Let's say NO to manipulation of whatever sort.
Marjorie

Smiles said...

I guess different strokes for different folks

Anonymous said...

Is she a Christian why did a he agree to mess with charms

preciousp gal said...

Poster join mountain of fire and miracles church. You need to be strong in prayer.pray mostly at midnight and watch God fight and restore everything that you have lost.

preciousp gal said...

take it easy. Hope you're married before you come here to type trash.odiegwu.

Sexy Candy YumYum (MIND SO MILITARY) said...

is it your "fabrication" ?

LIGHT said...

It is well with you poster. I have always told myself marriage isn't a do or die affair,if you rush in,you will definitely rush out. If you are to spend 90years on earth and you get married @ 30 or 35, you have 60/55 years to spend with that person, why not take your time and take it slow. Don't be pressured into getting married,African parents especially the yorubas will pressure and pressure you as if marriage is the gate way to heaven but be stubborn and not give in because @ the end,its your cross to bear. Enough said.

Dope PH BaBe said...

Chai!

Anonymous said...

Poster I'm sorry to say this but you deserve all you got. When you saw the hand writing on the wall but you decided to go ahead as if being single is an abomination. I know you will go back to your hubby tomorrow if he comes calling. You guys should learn to handle your private ish. Imagine writing in twice to this blog and yet sense you no wan borrow yourself.

Stella, almost all the divorce stories are not divorce na. They just pack their things and disappear from the man's house and call it divorce lol.

becky naka said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

PG18
You dint do him anything? U wer just sleeping and e come slap ur head turn?madam abeg tell the true story or go and sleep.
ASHAWO WAS 1's A VIRGIN

Anonymous said...

She even said her kids have health challenges..What kind of health challenge will affect both kids If not sickle cell anaemia...I am sure one of d reasons d guy's family refused to give their support is bcos of their genotype which is AS.. u both stubbornly got married out of stupid love..U couldnt wait to stand on ur feet well before having kids..Now see where it has gotten u...I have no pity for u..I only Pity ur innocent kids..now u are suffering them..May God help u...

Tomorrow another idiot will come here and start telling us how she want to get married to her guy and she loves him so much Dat she cant leave him and his family Is not in support...All these nonsense Mumu love..Make una continue.

Anonymous said...

Is dis u Chi Exotic?? U are d only bv that uses dis lame line often "Believe u me" or "Believe me u"

Is Dat how u were rejected by ur guy's dad? Is d father Pa Nduka? Why d so much hate from him? Kikikikiki.

Anonymous said...

Why should u marry a Fulani man if u are not a Fulani? Why do u girls fall stupidly in love? D only thing u are after is his family 's wealth and nothing more... I pity u already.

Anonymous said...

But Stella why are you not vetting them & their stories. Obviously the comprehension of the English language is a weakness for many here like this writer who sent in "divorce " story without even knowing or understanding the meaning of the word divorce!!!
How can you claim divorce when there was no legal binding (documented written certificate) marriage involved ? Or when someone like a woman is just cohabiting or shagging up with a man and after so many years fooling themselves assuming to be "married couple" ?
Nigerians / black people are very sick in the mind with all sorts of presumptions as their reality inside their head.

Anonymous said...

U never hear say many people don divorce and their spouse nor even know. Dem just dey go hire women to appear in court to state mutual agreement to dissolve the marriage. Lobatan! Many yeye men out there. Women sorry. What else can I say. Sorry. Keep enduring.

Poster, the good Lord will strengthen you and be your provider. You shall live to reap the fruits of your labour. Amen!!!

SHAKITI BABY said...

You will be healed IJN.

Chidinma Gift said...

Very true

Chidinma Gift said...

Here no be big brother house o

code009 said...

I feel for you, just go get a job.

Asa nwa said...

Hmmm but what kind of slap ll disfigure somebody bikonu?
Sorry poster

GlamNotchApparels said...

Imagine such rubbish.

Quality Madam said...

You need to be very prayerful bc your husband may have been manipulated spiritually. If you force urself into marrying at all odds then you should have prepared urself physically and spiritually to fight what ever comes to u both.

GlamNotchApparels said...

Why should she go back? Do u think he will not hit her again?

Anonymous said...

I wish someone gave me such advice while I was settling down, I rushed in and now I'm rushing out. I'm just 26

Chikito The Professional Fire for Fire said...

Ehn ehn.... Blunt chicK et al stop calling my name under very comment. For God's sake!! Last week it was Mrs. Okeke now this one you say it's me. Is that some of you don't have anyone else to chant about on this blog? Please this is a forum and various personalities exist. I'd NEVER go anonymous to post anything because im not a pretentious coward. When I don't want to comment under a post I very simply ignore it. Biko mind your business as I'm minding my madness.

Chikito The Professional Fire for Fire said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

You should go for deliverance prayers, that slap isn't ordinary.

Chikito The Professional Fire for Fire said...

Lol. Someone close to me stubbornly did same.....11 years later the family is sucking up to her now. Trying to make peace. Sometimes we just need to hear directly from God.

Chikito The Professional Fire for Fire said...

Darling today abuse me under anon tommorow. I hear....

Chikito The Professional Fire for Fire said...

Poster start by attending to your health first. I won't call any disease because it's non-existent in Jesus name. May we not enter horrible families. And please stay strong for your kids.

sexy momma said...

My husband family was against our union,right now we r 7yrs in marriage 3kids n falling in love everyday,we dey pray well abeg u don't need family support to suceed in marriage

Yemi7up said...

This is pathetic. I pray you are heal in Jesus and may help come your way to get a good job, you need it now more than before.

Priceless Jewel said...

You are right.
Poster is suffering from Bell's palsy secondary to ear infection(otitis media) following the slap(trauma).
See the Doctor for correct medication and a Physiotherapist for follow-up.

Anonymous said...

Sexy Momma Na prayers faith

Anonymous said...

Yes oh

Anonymous said...

True

Amunidara said...

Dey there dey deceive urself Sexy momma

Anonymous said...

Saw this on another post and decided to repost here.

Madam what you have is called Bell's palsy, it is a paralysis or weakness of the muscles on one side of your face. Damage to the facial nerve that controls muscles on one side of the face causes that side of your face to droop . The nerve damage may also affect your sense of taste and how you make tears and saliva.

The cure /treatment is as simple as 200 naira, go to a drug store and ask for predocelin tablet, take 2 three times daily you will be fine.

Mech

Anonymous said...

I was supposed to marry a guy from the diaspora ten years ago,I even reach him village,all the signs were there only two distant relations liked me,they say I'm not from thier place and I was a gold digger,meanwhile I'm doing well for my self.that marriage would have ended up in divorce days after,I thank God I was rejected because today in the queen of my hubby kingdom!

Anonymous said...

Aren't you monumentally stupid? So marriage is now limited to tribe? Fulani must marry Fulani & Yoruba must marry Yoruba? The point is that the poster is "warning" folks not to engage is marriage where both parents haven't fully consented but forgetting she's doing it out of spite & because the issue was from the husband's family. As if Indimi son come now, she'll listen to her own mother.

Pharaoh D 7th said...

When I read about marriages where family members say they are not in support especially the mom, I try to imagine how? And most times I come up blank.

I am married and I have married siblings. The onus to stand with whom you want to send the rest of your life with rest 100% on the man. As a guy If your family is not in support of your choice their reason must be convincing and compelling. If the resistance is from the father figure, listen and review your choice. But I have come to find out that in most cases if the resistance is from the mother figure it's usually trivial; like,

- She is not from our place
- She is from a tribe that use to eat humans
- They don't have a male child in their family
- Her mum is not living with her father
- She wears trousers and have too much makeup (yes I heard something that stupid)

But I see through the facade of the emotional blackmail. They are just pained they are not the one making the choice for you, so your choice cannot be good enough.

Now why do I come up blank? Because it is beyond disbelief for me to see a grown man dancing to the whim and caprice of a mom that has lived and still living her life on her terms.

When I was ready to walk down the aisle the record they played for me is that my spouse is not from my state, infact that she from the tribe where human flesh is a delicacy, as if she is the one that created herself, I laughed in Latin.

I simply read the riot act, you are welcome not to attend the weddingYou are welcome not to visit thereafter. And everyone aligned. 9 years and still counting my spouse and mom are besties. Infact, my mom laughs at every of my spouse jokes, funny or not.

I term it as total disrespect if my choice is questioned. What my brain hears in that instant, is that I lack adequate mental capacity to make a life long decision. Wow, wonderful!

Please note that the scenario I have described here is for a healthy normal relationship.

A situation where it is obvious the man is under a spell; the whole family is against the lady and you are the only one seeing the angel in her, please and please activate deliverance mode fast.

Poster, your case took a bad turn because you both lost your job. Most men can't easily had job lose, especially when they are major the breadwinner, that feeling of incapacitation can bring a grown man to his knees. He shall rise again and you will find peace.

Anonymous said...

If all men were like you, we wouldn't be having all these issues! Nice way of thinking!!

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