Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Service Year Boulevard 104

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Monday, 19 June 2017

Service Year Boulevard 104

Corpers we!! Wa!!!
Corpers we oooooo!! Wa ooooo!!
How is your moral? High!!!
Are you motivated? Motivated, motivated, motivated sir!!
Are you good to go? Good to go, good to go sir!!!




I impatiently waited for 18th of May, a day I call NYSC judgement day (release of call up letter), mum had actually done night vigil, praying i am posted to one of the best states because she was scared I would be posted to kano, don't mind me I always made it my nawtiness to scare her with it, she was just too overprotective of me her only daughter and this could be annoying sometimes...

12:00 am Thursday morning I kept on refreshing and that Nysc dashboard wouldn't change its date, these Nysc ppl is like they are doing them hahahaha, everyone on my Nysc group chat was very anxious to know what they got, finally I gave up and checked later during the day and yes I got mumsy's place of choice, some others who worked theirs got kwara, bauchi et al *tongues out, hahahahaha its the devils doing.


 I reached camp around 2pm on the 23rd of may, that was how anxious I was, just wanted to leave home and experience another part of life, wish I knew better, would had just sat my buttocks down and enjoyed the days prior to camp.




CAMP LIFE
We finally got our bed space around 5pm, The room was overcrowded, 28 in a room more like cubicle with just 4small windows and two fans of which one has given up the ghost and the other just kept making scary noise, I was kind of frustrated considering the fact that the highest number of roommates I have had in a room is 12, now 28, I just felt my world crumbling, we complained and we were told that in camp we had only privileges but not rights and we should try to make the best of it. I slept with all my valuables safely locked in my box, including my phone and money and my key, mmmmm was secretly hidden, I can't come and be a cheerful giver to thieves oo.


The sound of the beagle, Its that annoying sound u hear which tells you to wake up around 4:45am or when you are to go for lectures around 9, I just hated that sound with passion, Once u hear it, u can no longer sleep, cause the soldiers start shouting and whistle blowing follows, some times I try to evade it by claiming sick and heading to the camp clinic to sit and sleep more. 

Morning drills were interesting only during exercise periods with songs like "corpers marry corpers dem go born mumu" this was actually my best song, I usually eye those corpers who are in a relationship in camp when I sing this song, lol like as if i didnt have a camp sweetheart, it was my warning note to them, " shoes get size, officer get quality" and the best for the guys was "hold something" which involved searching for the girl with the biggest behind and grabbing it *shines teeth.... 

Before I forget Nigeria wakes up 6am and sleeps around 6pm, how lazy can she get?

Lecture starts 9am and ends 2pm, Just know the devil is against you if you don't have a seat, cause you will just be regretting, you should see girls sleeping on folded canopies and guys looking confused and asking themselves why me ?. I hid in the room lockers most time, I almost washed the toilet when I was caught. Boiled corn was our life saver. Practically 95% of corp members ate boiled corn and coconut in camp during lectures.

Kitchen food was on the average, the queue on the day jollof rice is served was longer than that of the immigration saga with different colours and size of foodflasks flashing around, while fasting was observed during the days beans is served. The toilets were neat due to constant flow of water and daily cleaning by the cleaners.

After registration we were grouped into platoons using the last number on our state code, after much deliberation, I was made the vice platoon leader and I practically did everything needed of a leader including shouting, cajoling and keeping mum when necessary #lifeofavoluntaryjob... Platoon work basically made me busy so I practically had little or no time for mammy evening galore cause I had to wash my whites every night including my rubber shoes so they don't pile up.


My platoon won a good number of competitions and lost some, all the same we were the best platoon, if you are jealous eeehn go and hug transformer, we are just the best with a lot of dying minute preparations we still out did the other platoons. I made lots of friends and my my platoon inspector was my camp mother, I was always at her beck and call, I mustn't dissapear for a minute and my phone starts ringing.

On our duty days I worked in the kitchen and seriously that's the worst place to do your duty ooo, I thought I would eat a large portion of the food but in the end those 11 pots, 8 coolers and other sedememde we washed still runs through my mind, chai I over worked my little body, well thank God for mammy which got my back. The best duty was sanitation, all you had to do was just pick around the camp, simple!!!

By 12am June 12th, all boxes were packed and every one was eager to leave the 3 weeks orientation camp aka known as prison, NB: three weeks felt like 2months, I pity those in prison seriously.

Well I hope I didn't bore you guys and I do hope my service year would be great...

By the way, I am still searching for that person that told us to do 15 photocopies of our documents each and 20 passport, hmmm I just want to tell u something, it is not funny, no ooo, its not funny at all kwa(in Jennifer's voice), I only used 2 documents out of each and 4 passports, what am I to do with the others eeehn??

Sorry for the typos and the long epistle, thanks


*Where exactly is your place of primary assignment?I couldnt connect with your story cos you left that out.


59 comments:

  1. They better scrap @Nysc when I am about to graduate


    I hate @Nysc



    @Galore

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It can't be scraped crush cos it's someone's means of livelihood.

      #galore'scrush

      Delete
    2. Lol.. .you are right though. .@Crush



      @Galore

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    3. Galore you still dey school?? Wondafu!

      Delete
    4. Hahahahaha sorry guys, I was posted to Lagos... Sorry for the epistle also and to those that were bored, please pardon me, I am a very terrible story writer, smiles

      Delete
    5. Baby gal u ddnt bore me..I enjoyed reading it!

      Chai! So na only two copies u used,out of 20? 🙆

      Delete
    6. I can relate...what platoon were u babe

      Delete
    7. @Stella,it's corper we! One!! (And not wa)... the slang in used to connote unity. Be guided!

      Delete
    8. @op,was your orientation at Mangum camp,Jos? Your experience is sort of similar to mine(SUB loading after 1 year)

      Delete
    9. @op,was your orientation at Mangu camp,Jos? Your experience is sort of similar to mine(SYB loading after 1 year)

      Delete
  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Wow,long long read!
    Ohhh I hated dem lectures,lagos soldiers then would force you to attend,they dragged one fine girl through stairs of 2floors cos she sprained her ankle and they dint believe her!!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. oooops, just saw "...her only daughter".

    ReplyDelete
  5. Of course u bored us! Worst service year boulevard..mtcheew

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You try sef to read am... I no read anything... Just the headline, finish



      @Galore

      Delete
  6. Hmmmmmm... WehdonMa!!

    Lagos Camp was so full, some people were allowed to be coming from home, now sweet can that be??😁😁Abeg Na Lagos get me if I'll be mobilized for the next batch....

    ReplyDelete
  7. Interesting but you should have tell us everything not only camp experience

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The word is TOLD

      #galore'sscrush

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    2. Hahahaha sorry darl, I busted started my service year oo, still battling with ppa stuffs sef

      Delete
    3. Just started*

      Delete
  8. Lol...my stay at camp was two weeks. No endurance trek, we just trekked to orji uzor kalu's house for 1k, a plate of rice and drink. My friends, all guys, advised that I not put the 1k in my pouch. We all held the 1k separately and spent it that night in Maami. These friends made me skip parade by hiding out in maami, till I was caught during the morning drill and made to join the parade. From the parade, I was dragged to quarter guard. Tsiga, during pop, gave quarter guard 20k for being the best he had seen 😀 and of course as a member of the quarter guard, I got to choose where I wanted to be deployed to...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You served batch C. I've forgotten the year. My sis served same year

      Delete
    2. No oh, batch B stream two. 2009

      Delete
  9. My God see all these small pikins wey still dey school, chai and I will be reading comments by them I will be thinking na correct human being write am , yeye dey smell ooo, wetin una know wey u go dey open mouth insult your elders here? I dey para no be small.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Seriously!
      To think I have been taking this Galore for a mature adult...

      Delete
    2. What are all these 'anonymouses' even blabbing about

      #galore'scrush

      Delete
    3. Hahahahaha 15:01....it is not by age now


      What I do you na?

      I am an adult na

      @Anonymous "Orubebes "




      @Galore

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    4. Lolllllllllllll so you no know??

      All these small pickin wey snot still full dia nose boku for here and you go know them easily because na dem dey behave as if pesin for their village dey do boju boju with their brain.

      Na so old mama go dey drag with them.

      Dem too dey go open mouth like onion rings, balance leg for knee, begin advise woman wey don marry 10 years on how to save her marriage.

      Una don suffer sha.

      Delete
    5. Galore is matured. No let she "still in school" gist make you think otherwise.

      Person wey dey study medicine when when Galore gain admission don graduate

      Delete
    6. Hahaha.. @Swag.. ..see as you enter me

      No worry.,I go invite you for my graduation 🎓



      @Galore

      Delete
  10. Well.. Its an interesting tin to say cuz I enjoyed my stay in katsina.. Personally I made unfavourable condition favourable for myself.



    God will see u 2ru has he has done to me




    Mc pinky

    ReplyDelete
  11. Nice story,I often wonder how I'll cope living with so many people with no privacy. I never stayed in the hostel, always had my personal room. Secondly, is it compulsory you wash your clothes yourself? Aren't there people that wash clothes for money around there? I'm for second batch, God help me... Nysc scares me

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There are laundry services @maami market.

      Delete
    2. Babe no fear. Camp is actually fun. As for d cloth washing, there are dry cleaners who can wash even your 'paents'. Kwakwakwa. Seriously, everything can be bought on camp as long as u have d money; washing, ironing, hanging of mosquito net, carrying your bags, etc. If u going to a riverine state, get your rubber boots ready.

      Delete
    3. There are people in every MAMI market, they wash and iron for a lil fee like 100 per a shirt/trousers...

      Delete
    4. I know that feeling…Then get a medical report and you'll be given an exeat from camp, where you'll leave after registration (if you're lucky and you finish your registration in one day, you'll be able to leave that same day) That's what I did. You'll be asked to return on the last day of the camp. Though you can check subsequently to know what's going on there. I'll suggest you get the phone number of any one in your platoon. It'll really help. Good luck.

      Delete
    5. U ar part of nigeria's problem. Kwaruption efiwer... and u go join abuse dansuki ko?

      Delete
    6. Don't allow them wash for you. They will turn your white to brown.

      Buy enough that you can use for 3weeks.

      Delete
  12. Mummy's Girl...
    Where dem post you?

    ReplyDelete
  13. Disjointed story.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I couldn't relate either. The abbreviations put me off.

      Delete
  14. Which kain dry chronicle be dis?

    ReplyDelete
  15. Worst Ever! Very dry disjointed story.

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  16. Nigeria is truly lazy. Used to wonder why it slept so early and woke up so late. Reflects on the Nigerian situation. Nothing works!

    ReplyDelete
  17. And she mysteriously left out her place of deployment

    #galore'scrush

    ReplyDelete
  18. No head no tail for this chronicle.

    Nwababy dem force you make you write am or your mama say make you write am?

    Your state no get name?

    Your camp no get name?

    Your PPA nko? Were you sent to teach abi was it farm? Where were you travelling from???? Wetin sef? You dey fear another Evans?????

    I hope it wasn't teaching sha, because if you teach the way you write, make your students jeje siddon for house.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Sorry Stella, I was posted to lagos, smiles

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  20. Sorry Stella was posted to Lagos...

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  21. When she said the food was average, I knew the part of country she was. E no dey pass rice, beans and stew for every swallow.

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  22. @ Galore comments got me ROTFL......but Galore they can't scrap NYSC because of you. Better start praying that you're posted to a good state when you eventually graduate....lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Like where?

      I wish to go to @Jos..,so I go befriend that oyibo girl wen I don dey eye Tay Tay



      @Galore

      Delete
  23. This sounds like an abuja corper. In platoon 1 cus am also among. Stella love will send in my camp experience soon.

    ReplyDelete
  24. 'Shoe get size, cloth get size, okrika get quality' not 'officer'

    ReplyDelete
  25. 'Shoe get size, cloth get size, okrika get quality' not 'officer'

    ReplyDelete

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