Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative

Advertisement

Advertisement - Mobile In-Article

Saturday, 21 October 2017

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative

Na wah!!!









STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
WHEN A MOTHERS LACK OF LOVE MESSES UP A CHILDS LIFE:

Good day to you Madam Korkus.



This is my story. I am the first child of my dad but not one from my mum. She has 3 boys before me for a different person. She only declared the last one so my dad is not aware of the two previous ones.



My dad is a very nice and caring man but he only does things with my mums permission. For example can we do this thing. He will say ask your mum. Whatever she says. He is educated while she is not. I have four younger ones. My dad attends one of the orthodox churches. My mum attends none. We the children do anyone. 


I for instance grew up with my grandmother who is a Muslim so I practiced Islam. My dad agrees to everything so far its OK with mum.
All of us children are aware of our step brothers. How we got to know I can't really say. Though we cannot identify them facially nor in contact with them. But we know their names. We have never seen them. She is scared of contacting them so that my dad will not be in the know.


While in secondary school during holidays, I caught her three times putting something into my dads food after the visit of one Alhaji from Tapa.


The Alhaji is the one one she calls of we have baf dreams etc etc. Some people can relate.She can be very selfish and wicked especially if she has blacklisted you or needs you to do some things for her. For example when I was processing my admission into higher institution, she had just put to bed and she needed my assistance for chores and all. I was immediately asked to leave my grandma who took care of me from 3 months. She rarely visits. I dreaded her coming to see me. I can't write it all. She is full of drama like that.


We started living together meanwhile grandma was alone. After sometime her other children hired a maid for her.
When I gained admission in 2008. Mum said no hostel. I spent 1200 for transport then everyday without feeding. I live in the outskirts of Ogun state. My school was situated in the Outskirt of Lagos state. Mind you we live in a new site. Bushes everywhere. I leave the house 4am come back like 10pm and start doing house chore, cook etc.


I am the mumu of the house. I can be gentle and persevere like that. The other children will never take shit from her. I am soft hearted. My father was not aware. He works outside the state.


Why she does this to me. I have no answer. But history has it that after my birth I gave her a tough time. I fainted every morning. In other to save me I was given a big tribal mark with an axe by an herbalist. So yes I am the most ugly and because of the mark I look like plain Jane.

But yes I am the most brilliant and intelligent.

Along the line she started going to a white garment church not the popular ones o. A ministry. I also switched religion to a pentecostal church due to influence from the person I was dating at the time whom I am presently married to.
A lot of wahala during wedding because she insisted it had to be done in her Church. As a bride I won't wear shoe so also the groom and other guests. 


The reception will also gold there as well. The gifts that the couple will receive will be in the church alter for 6months. We will observe dry fast for 7 days after the next day after the wedding. That means honey moon will be postponed. I married a virgin, etc. So many rules. That was when my mother in law asked that if the couple were given car. They will drive it on top of the alter. She also asked them that where will they be preaching from. 


Before my wedding I attended there once in a while. She will threaten to curse me if I don't. Mind you I am above 18 then.
My self esteem is Zero in the presence of my mum. In anger she has said things like" I wish I have used you to to menses instead of giving birth to a dunce like you. I regret am your mum. You are the ugliest out of all my children ".Most tomes after breaking plates cause I am always clumsy when she is around. 

Mistakes I will not ordinarily make.

Even as a mother of one I am still like that. 

I remember a particular scene in primary days when I was on holiday. She had warned me that I must not go to toilet after eating. That I must always go before eating. So after eating on that particular day. I had the urge to poo. I didn't go to the toilet even in her absence. She went out.my younger sister kept urging me to go. I didn't o. She went to call some neighbours what was happening. (Then we were staying in face me I slap you house, toilet is outside.). I didn't go o. I kept insisting on mummy says I can't till I pooed on myself. Come see beating of my life that day. That's the extent of my Mum. More reason why I got married shaperly.


I did the wedding in her church.

Mind you she doesn't like hubby. No reason that I can point to
She said they told her in church that anybody who marries hubby has to marry his mum. I had no issue with that. She is a mum to me. In her I can truly define mother. Things my mum can NEVER do for me, she will do it effortlessly.
Now the reason I am writing this chronicle is that I just want to vent. I just came back from visiting her.


I gave her two crates of eggs . 

I buy only what I can afford. She finished me with insult. She said is this what my mates give their parents.
Mind you I am not workings. Hubby provides everything. Our baby is our priority We have no savings but by His Grace, we are able to eat and pay rent.By the Grace of God we are able to give her the best.


I have been able to hide things from my mother in law and hubby. They think we have good relationship. Hubby is suspecting though.
My marriage is also like one chance o but at least no physical beating. I can mΓ nage it. What i go through from my mum is worse.


My hubby is very conservative. He is nive of he lets himself.If you report him. It will get worse. The first and last time I reported him to his mum. He became worse. His mum really tried but it a time bomb. I will never try it again.
This blog keeps me sane. I am able to laugh because of my daughter and Mrs Stella.

My prayer is I get a good job or capital for business.
However I am lonely I need friends. A whole lot. Good people though. No pity party. I just want to be sane for my baby. 

These days I forget things easily. I cry and think a lot.
I want to be there for my daughter. By the way next week is my birthday. I want to be happy so I needed to vent.

*I dont understand why some women birth kids and disconnect from them emotionally..I dont get it..Is it post natal trauma or what?Well you are an adult now and responsible for how you turn out...try to forget the past...try!!!


44 comments:

Doronize said...

Take heart my dear

SENORITA BONITA said...

I will come back to read.

Stella how far. I get gist for you but I still dey think am.

ANGELRAY4SDK said...

Poster kpele; ur mother is a she devil, u better stay away from her, am still trying to understand how a woman can be wicked to her own child tufiakwa.

Chike TEFLON said...

Mother's love is the best, but some times I wonder where some mothers keep their love.

Poster it is well with you.

Tessbaby said...

It is well.

Beloved said...

I am just speechless...I can't even imagine this scenarios playing out. Poster it's well with you.
Sending you plenty hugs πŸ€— πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—

LUCILE COCONUT OIL, CARROT OIL AND BLACK SOAP ABUJA 07059605320 Pin- 2BC6235E said...

So sad,i couldn't finish reading it

Sista Jane said...

Some mothers tho.
It is well poster

Anonymous said...

Chai I feel for this poster, not because of your mum, but ur marriage. U had it hard early in life, ur future is in your hand please look for job or start a business, though I know how tough it is to do something, but the Lord will help you

Jeni_zee said...

All u need is a job nd a life, forget ur mum

Anonymous said...

I feel like crying for this poster, Chai I was hoping ur marriage will be a relief, but was shocked to see that it's not

JOYOUS said...

your story is touching and a very sad one! let your daughter and God be your source of JOY....it's well with your soul.

Cisca Chesca said...

Hmmmm
It is well with you dear.

slimqueen said...

To be honest, I didn't understand this chronicle!

Shirley said...

It is obvious she hates but i thought as times passes she would have a change of mind but that might only happen when you become rich.
I think you are the baby she never wanted whose up bringing gave her too much pain but that is not an excuse,please don't let your relationship with her be known to your husband else you will be treated worst from because he would know that you don't have a strong backbone for a mum.
Please continue praying about everything and sincerely you need a job to keep you sane and I hope you get one soon.you will be fine

Miss Ess said...

Oh Lord! That woman is not a mother mbok. This is just too much a trouble for you. Where you thought you would find sucour too, no way. The lord will hold you and make you happy.

Chikito The Professional Fire for Fire a.k.a Ugegbe Chike Teflon said...

Kai! Hazards of growing up in a toxic environment. So sad

Ezenwanyi said...

Honestly dear your happiness is in nobody's hand but yours stop depending on others for your happiness. It also seems you are not an independent person age isn't necesary maturity or independence. Cut the umbilical cord from your mother please. As for your husband he is your husband get use to it just pray and try and work on your marriage. Toddles

THELMA'S CAKE WORLD said...

Dear poster, please get a job, no matter how little the salary is, it'd go a long way to make you sane..

As for your mum, keep praying for her and stop visiting her, she's a toxin to you and you need to get away from her......

Stop letting your mum ruin your happiness, take charge of your life....

Anonymous said...

Your birthday is next week which means you're a Scorpio? Scorpios no dey mumu like dis na. They are stubborn and vengeful.
I'll advise you cut off from that woman completely cos you don't have a mother

Chikito The Professional Fire for Fire a.k.a Ugegbe Chike Teflon said...

Forget your mum. Forget her for a while as in disconnect. Face your hubby and child and yourself. If he asks you tell him she is upset that you guys haven't 'hammered' and didnt like your gift. So you want to give her space. Don't repeat all the other things she's done but tell him that part so he won't be bugging you about seeing her anytime soon.

I don't even like the fact that you married in a questionable church. Do you know the person that joins you as a couple is very important in a marriage? Even in a Pentecostal church, we are adviced to check the life of the person that joins us. Me I've lived beside white garment church before (said the story here once) and I'm sorry oh but those their bathing in the night beside water body and animal blood bath don't sit well with me. The things I saw them do at night, I just can't.

You need alot of prayers and an independent spiritual mentor who would pray with you and talk you through all these emotional challenges you're facing. Stop crying alone and holding back please find someone to talk to....i mean, you can't even share this with your husband??! I don't wish to be married to someone can't share core things with, cos for me I understand the ability to open up as an act of love. Who knows knowing your struggle might help him understand the things you do alot better. I won't judge you cos I don't know the kind of marriage you have, but BVs are not the ones who will talk you through your emotional struggles online. Find an 'actual' person to talk to and hold hands with and pray with. Not just a friend, but a confidant and it could be an older person too.

Okay??! Before job, business etc you need to heal. If you carry this emotional hurt to your work environment you will lack balance. Please ask God to help you heal, and ask Him to send you a confidant. It's well.

DON™ said...

Your mum go still confess but not now.

Anonymous said...

Aww.the Lord is your strength dear..God has kept you all this while.he will continue okay? He would give you rest in your marriage.just hope and pray for the best.stop expecting the worse...try get something doing okay,discover yourself..you have something in you the world needs,its well . P.s mothers pls try and love your kids.this early stage lack of love is what has damaged alot of people today .and they take it to their marriages,work,etc.

Andromeda O said...

When I read about programming and conditioning, though I understand it, it still baffles me.
Mehn, shit is real!
Your mum was your handler, chai.
The part 'if you're given a car, will it be kept on the altar' made me πŸ˜‚

It is well, Poster.
Trauma isn't something to take lightly and you've been seriously emotionally abused. You need to heal to move forward.
I'm glad this blog makes you sane, but you've got to take your issues to God first.
He's the One who can take the pain away and make you whole.
After that, He'll show you the way to happiness.
Don't fret, ok?
Stay safe.

Anonymous said...

However I am lonely I need friends. A whole lot. Good people though. No pity party. I just want to be sane for my baby.



How do we reach you. Your bbm pin or Whatsapp number. Drop your contact in the comments

Anonymous said...

Motherhood is not for everyone. Some people are too selfish to be a mother. Everything is about them. A woman that has children that she does not want to identify with because of her own personal gain is not a mother!

Monkey Face said...

See the rubbish this one wrote

Anonymous said...

is your dad late? why not ask for some money from him to start a business? if you can't, whenever hubby gives you the monthly feeding allowance try to save a little from it, with 2k you can open an account with a bank. deposit your little savings into the account and don't sign up for alerts so that hubby doesn't know where the money came from.
Your mother is an emotional blackmail artist, stay away from her. she's abusive too

Anonymous said...

Go back and read again.

Anonymous said...

Poster, stop wallowing in self pity. What u are after will never happen. She was disconnected from u long time ago. Its the hard truth i learnt in my case. She doesnt see anything good about what you do. She extends it to my children but I have grown above that. My siblings children are her favorite and she makes it so obvious that my father tries to compensate mine for her actions. It ispainful though but what is the essence of letting that get to me. This is smone that used to acuse me of trying to kill her, sleeping around when i was still a virgin. She is a pro at making up stories. I grew up with so much anger and pain. But thats over nw. So, poster, dust urself up, get busy and stop anticipating for her love which may never come. Pray and let GOD!

charitybino said...

So sorry poster. May the peace of the Lord reign supreme in your life and marriage. Amen

Anonymous said...

Chikito baby I di kpo kpo. So on point

St.FranKooL.... said...

#One of the most courageous decisions you'll ever make, is to finally let go of whatever is hurting your heart and soul*

Anonymous said...

Dear Poster, I say stand up to your mother! The day you let her know you won't take trash again she will stop. your other siblings don't take this nonsense from her.
She is a bully and a bully will not stop bullying unless the victim stands up for himself or herself. I say this because a time may come when you have to stand up to your husband too. You need the balls to do that. Grow some balls Lady, throw in some self esteem while you are at it. Stand up for yourself and your daughter spiritually and physically.

Chikito The Professional Fire for Fire a.k.a Ugegbe Chike Teflon said...

*lived beside white garment church members, I meant. I can't even live beside ANY church Biko πŸ˜‚ Migraine ti take over

Bold Marehi said...

Awww May God strengthen you and see you through. It will end in praises.

sholetoga said...

Poster.....I'm speechless.....I can't believe a mother is this terrible towards her child...try to start saving so you can start a small business and continue to put your CV out there. God will come through for you dear

Rappakatakata said...

Hmmmmm...I can relate ooo. Even though I take lots of serious infringements against my person for granted, I don't think I'll forget the latest from my mum in a hurry. But...it's life. It's full of shit. Perhaps I'll send in a chronicle someday.

Mamachimaobi said...

First thing disconnect from your mom permanently she is toxic.take back power from her.sometimes anger and rage make us strong

Anonymous said...

Parents don't know how their actions can have lasting impact on their kids. I have a friend, a really cool dude. He's a natural leader. He gives, he helps people. All round responsible guy. We used to say any girl that marries him will be lucky. My friend got married abt 7 yrs ago and there has been no peace in his home. When you even hear the silly excuses that cause their fights you will just hiss. I thought DV was the worst form of abuse but in my friend I see abuse redefined. He has never hit his wife and he never will but how he tortures that poor woman. He won't eat her food, sleep with her or talk to her. Fine young babe developed HBP and because she's from a prominent family divorce seems out of the question. He has suppressed this woman in every way possible. I wonder how long she will be able to cope, 7 miserable years and God knows how many to go. To cut the long story short, we his friends called him that we don't like how he's treating his wife and to our shock he said that his how he can enforce control in his home and on his wife. That his father was very lenient with his mum and his mum did all manner of things. Had affairs did many terrible things and he has vowed no woman will treat him like that hence his appalling treatment of his wife. Whenever I see the wife I just think this poor woman is suffering from the sins of her MIL. The sins she knows nothing about, interestingly my friend has a great relationship with his mum. He changes her car every two years, takes good care of her meanwhile he's venting his anger on his wife.

nkiruka ikwueme said...

Your mum is evil😈, Pls don't wallow in self pity, your destiny is in your hands, take charge

Anonymous said...

Story of my life, this reminds me of my mum. πŸ˜” sad, but true. I have moved on from all my mum's BS, I don't care anymore, I need to be happy and live my life, evil mothers every where, SMFH.

Anonymous said...

It’s true. It’s very true.sometimes abroad we see people who say they never wanted to have kids. We judge them and say they are weird but perhaps they know. Nigerian society will not allow a woman make that kind of choice and be happy. So some people abuse their children so sad

madhukar said...

giving birth gift of god so try to generate the genareation
digital marketing

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Advertisement