Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative..

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Tuesday, 9 January 2018

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative..

This is rare but this story broke me...Oh dear!!!





STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
LAZY DEPENDENT MOTHER WITH FULL BLOWN AIDS


Thank you very much ma for this opportunity. I have been going through some challenges but God has been helping me. My mum called towards the end of November that she was sick. 

So I asked someone to bring her , we are like 8 hours apart. She was brought with very high blood pressure and coughing . I took her to the hospital the very next day. Where they wrote drugs for the bloop pressure and wrote some investigations.About two weeks later no much improvement. 

Based on what she told us about her brother accusing her that she is hiv positive and how she went to a hospital and she was told she had Aids after which she never went back there. We decided to do the test. This is after so many other test and it came out positive. Full-blown AIDS. The hurt ,disappointment, anger and to some extent hatred I felt was out of this world.


This is the reason

When I was about 5 my dad divorced her and married another wife while my mum went back to the village, and eversince then I did not see her till I was 23 (final year in school). Because my dad (he is late) had stroke and needed her to take me to our local government to get some documents (that was my first time in the village). Prior to ths time I can walk pass her and not know she is my mum. After that during my wedding at 26, so we have no relationship whatsoever, I send money to her occasionally when she is in need.


 I have been disappointed in her ever since I met her because she did not achieve anything with her life after the divorce. She did not remarry, did not give birth to any other child, and cannot feed or take care of herself. All the emotional trauma I went through as a child under my step mum came flooding back ever since she came to my place, and I despised her. 


Why will she be a burden to me when she had nothing to do with my growing up, I asked

She has been in my house since, she vomits, I wash her cloths, take her for her clinic, all she does is eat and sleep( she is 55). And I am afraid for my girls 3 and 5 years old. We stay in a two bedroom apartment, so my kids now sleep in the sitting room. I just wish and pray she gets better and go back to her life and then I ask my self which life ( before she came she was staying with a man in a room who she depends on and calls me for money ). 


This is a different person from the one she was going out with 5 years ago. When this news breaks out the man will send her packing something I have told her to do everything since she told me she was staying with a man. Her younger sister she told on the phone that she has AIDs have not called her ever since then.


After observing her this is our conclusion, my mum is lazy and dependent,
These are the questions I am currently asking myself, who do I tell, my pastor who is always asking about her, or my friends who come to visi ?. How do I show my face at the hospital where I do take her to when I want to sell my products won't they discriminate.

I have been praying for God to help me forgive her, he has been helping but I still need advice on what to do.


*I cried reading this you know.....
This woman needs you as a human being becos she has no one right now...If she already has full blown,then it is just a matter of time...
Find time to forgive her and draw her closer to God,,,show her the love she never showed you...what she is going through so much...DO NOT JUDGE HER for the mistakes she made....

Please show this woman some love......This story broke me

56 comments:

Blackberry said...

Forgive her my dear!
I'm even concerned about the men, they will cohabit with another, and keep spreading. My God.

Paul Okah said...

Stigmatization kills faster than the disease itself. If you can afford it,be with her till her end because it is very near. I am sorry...

Dada Toyosi said...

Hmmm... It is well with you,that's exactly what i use to think of dt at old age,my mum will definitely need me but she must have forgotten how she treated me and still doing,God will strengthen u to take care of her,just forgive pls

Yori Yori Princess Loveme Jeje said...

hmmmm really painful. Wished it was just HIV so that she can be taking her drugs but what i read here now is she is full blown AIDS.

What she needs is love before she pass away. But also try and make her take the HIV drugs so that her immune can come up.

Also make sure your children did not use any sharp objects like blade or anything that will bring blood out from her.

May God cover you and your children Amen.


Take her to LUTH so that she can be taken care of that is if we still have good nurses there?

May God comfort you and console you Amen.

beeolah said...

It is well just take very good care of her and watch your kids very well

Anonymous said...

Hi dear I understand how you feel but please do not neglect her.Draw her closer to God. If you stay in Lagos there is an APIN clinic in LUTH Idiaraba.Drugs for HiV here are absolutely free and she can get the right counseling she needs. Ensure she takes her drugs regularly and you will just be fine.

Fifiliprincess said...

Pls take her back to the village and get her room equipped! Get someone to be cooking and washing for her keep it a paid work (5000) monthly. Send money for food and send her drugs regularly. Its risky keeping her with your kids pls.
She didn't care for you from age 5! She didn't ask, she didn't fight for you!

Zinny Chocolate said...

I think you're praying for her to die soon. End time daughter

Emeka Chukwurah said...

This is quite sad. I pray you find strength at this point more than ever.
Gosh!

SHAKITI BABY said...

Poster,I feel your pains but there is nothing you can do for now.
shower her with lots of love and care.

Mama Alexander Wealth said...

Just show her love, Most hospitals won't give ARV until she becomes stabilize, since she isn't in admission it's either she isn't full blown or her CD4 isn't below 200, what's your location? There are good ART centers I can refer where she can get adequate care, no one will discriminate you, HIV/AIDs counsellors are specifically trained to love, let her eat good food, adhere to time for drugs, must take drugs with only water, enough rest and always honour her hospital appointments. You will be alright.

Anonymous said...

Easier said than done. You didn't ask the poster how much she is making in a month. Think before you type.

Anonymous said...

You are not in her shoes....

Adadioramma said...

Poster please forgive and show her some love. Is your husband aware of her condition? Two bedroom apartment wouldn't be conducive for your family and her owing to her condition. You may take her to her base and get a help for her. Always send her drugs, food stuffs or whatever that gives her life.
It is well.

Anonymous said...

Romans 12:19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,”[d] says the Lord. 20 On the contrary:

“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”[e]

21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Anonymous said...

Which one is end time daughter? If you don't know what to say, keep quiet. With the narrative above, it is a very difficult situation. She even tried to accomodate her in her home. With kids, you can't say you've covered all grounds. The best thing would be to accomodate her somewhere and get someone to attend to her, if is financially capable. That way she can face her husband, children and business. Just imagine the strain of the burden on the young family.

Anonymous said...

I am sorry ooo and maybe wrong but pls go rent a room for her somewhere and employ someone to take care of her in the village or close to you so you can have a normal life. It is not fair on your kids to be sleeping in the living room, they did not ask for this. I pray you can afford to rent her a room somewhere with a cheap care taker. I feel so sorry for you! You have and are trying! Forgive but don’t break your back even from a human point of view. It is well

Tade Adeola said...

I can't imagine life without a mother in it.. My mother has been my pillar! If not for her struggles maybe I will be somewhere with two to three kids now with one yeye man.. Hmm, life!

Poster, I've learnt dat.. Our parent is our pathway to heaven, no matter Wat dey av done to us to deserve out hatred! Do ur part to free ur soul coz if she shud die with u still hating on her.. D guilt/regret dat will follow not stop! Don't let that happen to you.. treat her real good, forgive and support her. All the best!

ZARAM said...

It is well. May God grant you excellent wisdom

BIPOLAR ME said...

This is a chance to show your kids how you want them to care for you when you are old. And it is a chance for you to honor her so your days may be long..

Do not in anyway show hatred to her in the presence of your kids.

My maternal Grandma had dementia and had to stay with us for 8 years, she was TOTALLY dependent those times, but my mom will always say "My mom (my grandma) took care of her mother(my great grandma) with all she had, I will not get tired."
And now i know how much I care for my mom.

You are angry she didn't fight for you or at least come take you away from your step-mom, that's understandable but its the past, you have to let it go.

Ask her questions now, hear her own side of the story, let her tell you why, her clock is ticking, make good use of it.

Don't throw her out please, but if you will relocate her, care for her immensely.

Anonymous said...

Hey, i feel your pain. My candid advise is try as much as you can to take very good care of her regardless of what happened she is still your mom. My mom passed away from HIV/AIDS years back. The day i told her about the test result (Still regret it till date, wished i was a bit wiser) i believe was the day her spirit died because of so much rage and disappointment she saw in my eyes and the way i sounded. Try to keep your kids safe too

@Zinny Chocolate your comment is so annoying ehn.

Anonymous said...

it's easy to ask you to stand by your mum but it's a difficult task. I think taking out a little time to get more educated about HIV/AIDS is not hard. As long as your kids are not sharing needles with her you have nothing to worry. eating or drinking with her won't make you contract HIV either. My father is HIV positive, he got it when he strayed out of marriage about 8 years ago. My mother is negative. I am a medical laboratory scientist and most of my colleagues knew about my dad's condition but no one looked down on me. I follow him for his clinic days and sometimes go to collect his drugs when he can't make the trip. he is 70. The doctors and other patients are encouraged when they see how supportive we are of him. My mother is negative and still married to him. Please stay strong, it's not easy but you can do it.

Anonymous said...

As much as I feel for her as your mother. Pls i don't advise she continues staying in your house indefinetly because of your kids and your marriage. When she is strong enough pls make proper arrangement for her accomodation. Get someone that can be caring for her. Register her in a hospital, pay her medical bills and make sure she always has her drugs always. Send her money monthly and go visit her from time to time.
It's now she is down and old she remembers she has a daughter. Where are all those men she was carrying when you were growing up.
Poster pls safeguard your home. Very soon your husband will start complaining in the marriage.
Please carry out your duty as a daughter but not at the detriment of your home and happiness.

Anonymous said...

Hey poster daughters like you are rare to find. You are doing a great job. She needs your help more than ever. If she becomes a burden in your home find her a place and make her comfortable.. don’t let go. I admire your strength. Keeping you in my prayers dear.

Anonymous said...

I have a mother that was living such bad lifestyle while growing up. She changes men monthly without even considering she has a child. I saw all sorts while growing up.
Now she is old and broke, and all those men that used her have all disappeared.
Now she depends on us kids she never had the time for.
I do my best, but my family comes first. If I think of all I used my eyes to see while growing up I won't do nothing for her.
We had women calling her ashawo in the area. We had wives of her manfriends come insult her then.
Where are all those men now. They are all gone.
Once you become a mother you need to live a responsible lifestyle.
I can't imagine making my own kids watch me changing men like wrapper and being ridiculed for it.
Let your mother lay her bed as she saw fit living that lifestyle.
Perhaps the HIV is her karma.

Anonymous said...

Did it ever occur to you that your dad might not have allowed her access to you?

jelly said...

I feel so bad reading this. My dear you just have to forgive her, please don't push her away, just be watchful for your children . May God almighty reward you .

Madam B said...

Forgive! Forgive! Forgive and again forgive her. Show her love.it is well with you.

Chyluv! said...

Sad situation. Forgive her and move on. Who knows she probably had Aids all those years reason for the divorce. Anyways, I'm concerned about your kids health cos of the association with tuberculosis and AIDS. I would say you send her back to the village and care for her there, as someone said u can pay someone to do that. While you visit often, maybe monthly. If you wish to keep her at home, that's fine but you need to protect your kids and practice additional precautions! Forgive her. She's a broken woman.

Intelligentsia princess said...

Poster,pls forgive your mum and make sure you take good care of her
Always protect yourself while attending to her and concerning the drugs you can try and get it from one of these NGO's where your identity will be kept safe. Don't patronise your family hospital this time around. Show her love ,just like Stella said she needs it more now than never bcos her days are numbered already.

Chyluv! said...

Her medications are very important encourage her to adhere to them strictly, lack of adherence led to this. It's well. With care, and treatment she will improve. She need a lot of support.

Push up said...

Forgive her o, but please let her stay in a bq around you, I know I can't do such to my own mum but... I don't even know what to say, please what is your hubby saying? Please be careful with your kids being around her. Gist with her, tell her stories that would make her happy, so that at least she will die happy.
How long does she have? Abi can it still be managed, walahi I don't even know what to say

Omeh (for quality and affordable computers and accessories 08153383386) said...

I feel this same way. I am also not comfortable with your children sleeping in the sitting room. Let them sleep in your room please. If you guys want to make love then you move to the sitting room. Please dont put them at risk abeg

Unknown said...

You are quite silly. Have you walked in her shoes? Does she sound like she's praying evil? Clearly she is just askingbdor encouragement to continue on the already good path ahe has begun by taking care of her mother regardless of circumstances.

Chikito The Professional Fire for Fire a.k.a Ugegbe Chike Teflon said...

Read what you wrote again. Some of you dont think before you type. *hiss*

Chikito The Professional Fire for Fire a.k.a Ugegbe Chike Teflon said...

You dey mind that one? Very yeye comment! I just wonder what stock some people are made of

Anonymous said...

Pls poster don't rent any room for her anywhere. Don't take her anywhere. No maid can take care of her like you. Her drugs needs to be taken at the right time and right dosage. The caregiver may overlook this thereby worsening her case. She also needs to eat the right food. How are you sure another person will do all this well.
Pls forgive her, she has no one now, you already said her sister stopped calling her. May God be with you.

Anonymous said...

May God help u n bless u greatly. Inspite of your challenges, one can tell u av a heart of gold. Why not first seek comprehenseive medical counsel. In as much as people advise u to care for her, you have to ensure that u adequately minimise the risk to you n your little girls as your daughters are too little to even understand the risk. Please find out the level of your and daughters exposure. If it is manageable, let her stay and care for her as much as you can. If the risk is too much, remember your daughters r innocent. You cannot care for you mother to their detriment. Love is also about wise decisions. If the risk to your daughters is too much, arrange for her to return to the village and send her monthly upkeep and visit when you can. But whatever decision you take, ask for grace to forgive. This is absolutely necessary. I have a friend whose mom no longer lives with her. I suspect this may be the reason as her dad is speculated to have died of aids.

Beloved SDK BLOG PA said...

Oh dear...It's not easy taking care of aged and sick parents. God will continue to be your strength.

Anonymous said...

May God bless you

Frau Juliet said...

Send her back to the village, go to the Catholic church in your village and check if they have st Vincent de Paul group. Beg them to help take care of your mum. They will visit her once a week, cook for her and wash her clothes and also take her to hospital as the case may be. They know how to get the best and cheap medical care available. Then the upkeep money will be sent to the group st Vincent de paul.

If the group is not in your village, look for a cheap city that has st Vincent de Paul in any of its Catholic church talk to them, they will help you with the necessary arrangement.

Note: it doesn't matter if your mother or you are Catholics they always help every one. You can also check your present city as well.



Anonymous said...

Dear poster please dont put ur mom away for any reason surely you know no one would care for her like you would, keep her in ur house and show her all the love she never gave you, she needs you now more than ever and you are all she has, you can buy a mattress so ur kids can put in the living room at night to sleep am sure they would not mind, Aids is not contagious you can even educate ur children on grandmas condition, embrace her and her condition and dont be ashamed of it, those who allienate you because of ur mom were never meant to be in your life, hell you will even get to know the real and fake people,so please be open about her condition cos God uses people to help people, you will never know who out there can help in one way or another. And i know God will look at ur kindness to your mom to bless you and open doors for you and your family.

Anonymous said...

Poster see this!☝☝☝

clement mojisola said...

I am not against you caring for her
Please do. But ibam against her living with you. Your children are still small and yiunknow children can be careless. Itnis to prevent the virus from spreading. Get her a house close to where you stay please. And the children should only see her when you or your hubbynis around.

new wine said...

Hmm, its a whole lot to take in. Please give yourself some credit so far. It's not an easy task but you are on the right path already, weldone. Please lead her to Christ. Ask God to help you go through this. It is well with you, this situation will not cause you any sorrow or regrets now or in the future in Jesus name, Amen. God bless you.

new wine said...

Whatever you do, please ignore that inhumane comment somewhere up there.

Anonymous said...

Dear poster,
I've seen a worse case she needs accelerated treatment. I'm sure she's now on ARV's. She needs a lot of immune boosters and the will power to live. Remember the Lord's prayer forgive us our sins as we forgive others, it's had but CA be done.

Anonymous said...

Dear poster,
I've seen a worse case she needs accelerated treatment. I'm sure she's now on ARV's. She needs a lot of immune boosters and the will power to live. Remember the Lord's prayer forgive us our sins as we forgive others, it's had but CA be done.

Anonymous said...

I wish I could hug u now. With all my mum did to me I was very bitter, it made me not show enough love and care when she became ill although I changed for the better when I realised it was just me she had. I began to care more for her, she died happy but I live everyday in guilt because I feel I did not do enough. I should have done more, pls forgive her first and take care of her to the best of your ability. No matter your resentment towards her now, when she passes on u will feel a certain way if u did not care enough trust me. Am living with that guilt till today. Pls I beg u help her even if not in ur house, ure all she's got. May God bless and strengthen u.

Anonymous said...

I know it's not easy but pls forgive her, call your pastor to pray for her and lead her to Christ, this is most important. Most parents don't realise how much they hurt their kids until it's too late. May God see u through

Anonymous said...

Poster, do not let the devil use you by sending your mum back.
I am truly touched and feel for your mum. We are all women and know not all are able to move on after breakup.
Poster, your mum’s situation I.e. inability to move on was probably from her divorce from your dad. It’s prbably the reason why she’s never remarried and why she has or had multiple partners.
Please take care of her. Never be ashamed of your mother no matter the circumstance she’s in. I applaud you for what you’ve done so far. Try not to judge her and accord her all the respect she deserves.
There’s NOTHING I wouldn’t do for my mum no matter what the world will say to me. PRESERVERE! She’s got little time to experience love and care from her only child. Mend her broken heart with your love and affection. God will bless you till etnernity. I am so proud of you for what you’ve done so far.
No one is perfect so forget what anyone will say.
A mother remains a mother no matter the situation.

Bibire said...

My friends mum had HIV and wasn't responsible (drinking to stupor,won't take her drugs or eat)My friend was so angry with her mum & her husband kept instigating her to forget about the woman.My friend is the first born with two sisters from different men so responsibilities were much on her.I kept advising her to do her best especially when the woman became very sick.And she did her very best till she lost her a day to Christmas so please do your best.If you can afford to rent a house for her ,do so and get her a live in help.Why i suggested renting house is because of your in laws.Babe,do your best for the sake of your children and God.

Anonymous said...

stella her days are not numbered cos it's full blown Aids.Please let us all be informed about Hiv/Aids properly biko. I have seen people that were admitted into the hospital and you would think they would die the next hour cos of how bad their case were but, guess what, they were managed and started gaining weight back and also living their normal lives. If at 2018, some educated nigerians aren't properly informed about this virus, I wonder what's on the mind of they uneducated ones in the village. And you @intelligentsia princess, her days are already numbered just as stella said okwaya? as for the poster, it's not easy caring for sick people, let alone a case like this. Please forget all she did and take care of her, trust me, I know it's not easy but, it's just you she has. I lost my mother to hiv years ago, my mother was a widow at 25, she was living a dirty life, yes I remember in my secondary sch days, i asked her one day if it's every man that ask her out she will date, I got the beating of my life that day. yeah she was young and pretty but... obviously I wasn't her favorite, when she fell sick it was still me that took care of her, her siblings took off and my younger sister, her favorite was so busy with school to care for her mother. Mind you I was in year one then. In everything, I satisfied my conscience and I pray my own children will take care of me in old age.

Anonymous said...

Poster welldone so far, immediate concern is for your kids please have them screen your mum for TB that’s the only thing that can be spread easily that’s if she has active TB. Let her register at aN ART centre no one would discriminate she would improve once she starts getting treatment . All the best

Anonymous said...

Dear Stella
Why don't you do your research instead of assuming just because she has full blown aids, she is about to die. There are many people with full blown aids that recovered and their CD count became high? Poster, forgive your mother and take care of her. Trust God to heal her. Give her medication to take.

She must have had a broken life after the divorce. Divorce breaks most meb and women even when they are too busy, too manly and too religious to admit it. That's why I believe Nigeria need lots of therapist, there are broken men and women walking around with no idea on how to love and be loved. Something in them broke, they became sex addicts, alcohol addicts, relationship addict and didn't know how else to function. Just because a woman gave birth to you, it doesn't mean she has the manual to be a mother, motherhood is learnt. Some women had dysfunctional parents and transferred the dysfunctional cycle to their children. Some women had undiagnosed and untreated postnatal depression and couldn't care for their child. Don't assume the worst of your mother just because she sought love in the wrong places and made terrible choices. Do not measure your strength with hers. Rather have mercy on her, take care of her.

KING XOXO MYSTERY

Amacastel said...

May the Lord be your strength

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