Hmmmmm........
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
TIRED OF MARRIAGE
I have been married for 9 months and have been abroad for about 6 months.....I am not into Marriage and only just found out my mindset towards it.....
How do i end this without any problems? The man i married is besotted but i dont feel anything anymore...I cant be caged down and that really pisses me off.....
He tries to control and monitor me from where he is based and i cant do this anymore....I want to be free to date whoever i want, go where and want and just breath...I can be a baby mama later and must not marry......
How do i tell him nicely that i want out? My friend advised me to do something really terrible that will make him end it but i dont want the narrative to be against me or him, i just want to walk....
He is disturbing me to visit him around my ovulation so that we can start making babies and that freaked me out and i have not been picking his calls...
Please advice....
Hmmm your reasons for wanting out is really selfish and you sound like who asawo still dey her eyes...If you dont mind oh, just tell him that Doctors told you that you cant have babies...He will drop you like hot coal..LOL
Send him the link to this post.
ReplyDeleteAnother angle
DeleteMiss Aboki it's as good telling him to his face. Stella suggestions will not hurt him
DeleteWhy did u marry him in the first place?
DeleteWhere was yu wen commitment was made? Yu too wicked.
DeleteJah no like selfish people. Jah no like treacherous people. Jah hate when we toil with people emotions.
Jah will hold we all accountable!
I feel so so sad for that man who walked into this hot mess, I wish him well going forward.
DeletePoster please let this man know you want out and why you want to, don't leave him feeling like he's the problem,. That could be really damaging to his morale.
I wish you both well.
Just file for divorce how is that hard?
ReplyDeletePoster you live alone in your location so not like you’re caged. Just so you know, nothing dey outside o before you come back wailing.
ReplyDeleteIf you are fully convinced you want to end the marriage, tell him. It’s better you leave with your dignity intact than to do something stupid. Btw, whichever way you choose to leave he’s definitely gonna get hurt so better leave with your dignity
And that her friend that was quick to advice. Hmmmmn
DeleteIts better sooner than later. Poster set him free as your mind is no longer there
DeletePoster that your friend advising you is the same person that will marry your husband once you walk. Kulum bet👍🏻. Na here we dey
DeleteSo, why did you now get married? 🤦♀️. How do you tell him nicely? 🙄. There is no nice way to tell him. The earlier you tell him, the better it is for him. He needs to move on, and find one that wants marriage. I just hope when that happens, you won't look for a way to get back with him.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteDear Poster,
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like your feelings about marriage have been uncertain for a while, even if you claim you are recognizing them fully now......You were probably hoping that the man would give you emotional security and freedom at the same time, but marriage demands clarity and intentionality from both of you....
Trying to manipulate the situation (like your friend advised) is not only wrong but damaging for everyone involved, especially you..... If you are sure you're not ready for marriage, the mature and honest thing to do is to tell him directly.....
There is no need to ruin someone’s life just because your views have changed..... Return the bride price, any form of investment he made on you & explain respectfully that your heart and mindset aren’t in it, and step away cleanly......
If you are serious about leaving, do it with dignity and compassion not deceit..... That way, you’re being fair to him, yourself, and your future.... Change your circle of friends who believe chaos is the tool and weapon to get things your way...
All the best....
I agree with everything you said, you ate!!
DeleteAre you absolutely sure that you cannot resolve this with a conversation and conscious work? You made vows and it still a very young marriage that has the hurdle of distance to deal with. Your emotions may be amplified because of the distance and how it creates excess pressure on communication and also misunderstandings, because being face to face with him would allow for more love to radiate and easier forgiveness for missteps as you learn to live with each other as a couple, which comes with it own challenges even with the best of couples.
ReplyDeleteI just think that there is too much going on with this young marriage and you may be jumping to pull the trigger on something that hasn’t gotten the chance to fully begin. Try to build your patience and reestablish trust, remember why you got married in the first place and pray for quick reunification so the distance doesn’t pull you apart further. New marriages require a lot of patience, pray for patience and wisdom. You are also not being intimate with each other on a regular basis and that can be healing and bring closeness. Talk to your spouse and work together to find a way to face the challenges because there are a few external things that are affecting your marriage and you both need to be strong and focused to deal with them. Divorce is not your answer, reconnection and togetherness is.
Poster if your husband does this same thing to you, would you be happy? 🥹
ReplyDeleteAdunni
Truth be told, young couples shouldnt be encouraged to live apart , this could trigger frustration. A time you guys are meant to be bonding, it is well o. Poster, you better cut off that friend of yours advising you. Do you think marriage should be entered into like a playing ground? dont be selfish, you can always talk this over and tell him you dont like the way he monitors you( it seems trust is lacking in the marriage) and work it out how you two can live togeher, this could just be the solution. There is nothing out there and do you think baby mamas are finding it funny? You better be careful what you wish yourself!
ReplyDeleteThe guy is probably not monitoring her like the way she spelt it out sef, I feel like she is just on edge and taking it too far because her heart is not in the marriage to start with, I mean she would not see anything wrong with the attention if she was totally smitten with the man.
DeleteWhy did you marry him when you know you didn't love him, that's selfish of you.
ReplyDeletebesotted marriages are always like that. spouses falling out of love. I understand your situation. you were never in love with him. maybe he knows that's why his monitoring. you can have a talk with him. he too might want out of the marriage
ReplyDeleteSomething tells me you are thinking Bethrothed.
DeleteIt's not what she meant.
9 months and want a divorce. You have clearly committed an evil act. You never wanted marriage now because you want freedom.
ReplyDeleteYou deceived him into marriage now you want to ruin him psychological and emotional to live your truth.
Ask for his forgiveness too.
How did you initially tell him YES, you would marry him? Use same method and energy to tell him the truth, dont be a coward, tell him you have fallen out of love and you want to amicably part ways. Pls don’t be a baby mama or whatever, u are too selfish to bring kids into this world. With kids, that freedom to move around and do whatever u want, will not be there for the next 18yrs. In fact, a mom is a mother, all the days of her life.
ReplyDeleteDanteeeeeee come and see ooooooo( in bv child voice)
ReplyDeleteWhy are you so childish? What is his own here now, ode.
DeleteStella some of want to send in chronicle to you anonymously without writing you on your mail for some private reasons so how can we do that?
ReplyDeleteUse fake name email
DeleteYou can drop the chronicle as a comment on a post, Stella will pick it up and post it to chronicle.
DeleteDrop it as comments and tell her that you want her to post it as chronicle.
DeleteOkk done
DeleteTell him straight up. He's not the problem. You simply don't want to be married to anyone. 🙄🙄🙄
ReplyDeleteReally?? Just like that???
DeleteYou are a very wicked human being. You are not into marriage, yet you accepted his proposal and went through all the processes.
ReplyDeleteYou've traveled now, you want freedom and possibly met someone else, and you want to "discard" your husband cos "you are not feeling the marriage"
Madam, it is people like you that give men the power to treat good women shabily. When you walk out on the marriage, what do you think will happen? He will definitely transfer that pain and hurt to an innocent woman.
You want freedom, go get it but know that it will never ever be well with you. Toying with people's feelings anyhow.
God are you not so merciful
ReplyDeleteKai……. Your patience is limitless
May Your name be praised🙌🙌
If I was God ehn…wetin I for do you ehn
Without due respect, Nwam rie nsi
Riejuo nsi afo
Rie nsi nwa a
Kedu nnoo
Chai chineke, hmmm
Yadiba
Release him please
So that he can be a blessing to a lady that has been depending on God for a husband
9 months is not enough time to give this marriage, you both have been apart need to be together for few more months and you see if you are still not interested with the marriage then you can end it up. No nice way to hurt anyone in this world, go ahead and speak to him by expressing how you feel about it since you prefer to stay alone without a man.
ReplyDeleteThat outside you are wishing for, some day you will find out that nothing is there and wish you did not end this marriage. Your friends that asked you to leave how is their marriage life, are they married or having same life style. Some persons will be suffering and want another to join them by doing the same things they did. You need to look before you leap.
My darling I guess you weren't properly schooled or attended a marriage class, before you got married.
ReplyDeleteOnce you are married, off course, your freedom is gone. (Even in serious relationship)
You can't do how you like, when you like.
You become ACCOUNTABLE AND RESPONSIBLE, and COMMITMENT
Obviously, you ain't willing to give that.
Please send him this link or a voice note/text message of the TRUTH.
I feel really bad for him, but ots better now than stringing him along.
File a divorce case and have it delivered to him wherever he is so simple .All these explanation is nothing ,you are an adult and if prostitution is still in your blood fine .It is a free world
ReplyDeleteDecisions like this may lead to regret later in life, especially when the friend who advised you ends up getting married and now doing lovi lovi to your face. Keep gbenshing around ashawo.
ReplyDeleteDivorce him and watch your adviser of a friend take over. She is only encouraging you to do something really bad to affirm all she has been telling your husband.
ReplyDeleteSo I should go and start looking for the meaning of besotted. Why not put the meaning in bracket to make this reading easy for us?
ReplyDeleteThere are a lot of people who feel like this lady but are oblivious to this truth due to society, parents expectation or peer pressure. For some, marriage feels stifling and that's why a lot chose to stay unmarried or you see some be engage for years and be very happy but only to divorce after two years of marriage when they're tired of pretending. If you feel the way you do, I would advise you let him know. It's better than stringing him alone. You both will be fine in the end. You may end up meeting a man who also want the same thing. I believe there are others like you who don't like marriage not want to be married.
ReplyDeleteFeelings are like fluid and the human heart is changeable and that is why we can not guarantee anything in this life. People change and so have you and it's no fault of yours So long as you are not hurting anyone.
ReplyDeleteSuch is life and I won't fault you because I understand you perfectly well and the angle you are coming from.
If you are sure you want to end the marriage, consider seeking professional help from a couples therapist or counselor. They can provide guidance and tools to help you navigate your feelings and explore whether the marriage can be saved or if a separation is the best path forward.
I will not advise you to continue to live in misery to the detriment of your own happiness.
We only live once!
You want to date whomever you want? Are you seeing someone over there? Is your eyes entering another person? Is this your First time abroad and you are seeing specs specs all over the place and suddenly there are different fine men all over the place so your options of men to date are now too many so your husband is now bo longer desirable?
ReplyDeleteHow old is he and how old are you?
Are you really young and he is at that age when having kids and being a husband is his prioritieswhile you are at the age where exploring seems attractive to you?
Hope you are not cheating on him already. Emotional cheating is cheating too. If you don't want again, just tell him. But know that your reason isn't making sense enough. Or is it the long distance that is clouding your senses?
I hope you are not the lady that sent in a chronicle about going to meet her ex-boyfreind abroad who has already collected passport for her. The lady who was planning to leave her marriage after relocating abroad to break the sad news of her disinterest to her husband only after she has left the country? I hope you are not the same person.
The loveless tone in the chronicle is not good. She speaks of her husband as though he was just anybody and not her family. It is never good to other a spouse or think of them like they are a stranger.
DeleteUnless this was an arranged marriage where she met and married on the same day there is no excuse. Was the marriage a bride price scam or a means to an end? She feels so certain and so sure of herself. The foolishness and arrogance of youth is one of the greatest undoing of those with short life experiences.
She setup her marriage like the probationary period on a new work hire, 90 days, cause that’s all they have lived together. Dude hasn’t even gotten a warning letter or the opportunity to right his wrongs. She ready to erase it all, simply because he expects to know what she is doing and where she is going, something every married person must do, you gotta check in, girl. You can’t just up and go like you used to when you were single, your spouse needs to know your whereabouts. What if you end up the wrong person’s car trunk? Your spouse won’t even be able to give an account of your day’s plans. Checking in is protective, somebody knows where you are, in these times it is good to have ppl looking out for you.
I think you should relax a little
ReplyDeleteOne year after moving is not the time to make big decisions
You want to encourage her? The man's money and time emotions gone? Just like that
DeleteI hope you won't later regret this your decision, you have a husband that's ready to have child/ren with you and you want to be a baby mama, do you think it's easy to be a baby mama?
ReplyDeleteYour friend that's even advising you on how to leave your husband when he has done nothing wrong to you is an enemy in disguise.
Think well before you leave your marriage, there's nothing outside, your friend might even take over your husband.
But if after everything, you still decide to leave the marriage, good luck to you.
Uwa nkea sef.
ReplyDeleteSome ladies somewhere are burning midnight candles for their life partners to locate them, while this one wants out for no reason.
Obviously this man pressured you into marrying him in hopes of coming abroad.
ReplyDeleteI get it. You ve come abroad and seen how delicious life is here.
You need to tell him then file divorce papers. So that he can find his way. Welcome
What if he is the one that sent her there to further her studies? If he wanted to go abroad he would have followed her and they would have gone together as a a couple from the start since she recently went after her marriage.
DeleteYou want to break someone's heart for nothing. Let me tell you sis, nothing dey outside o. If you want to come out, it's ok, but I can assure you, you'll grow tired of that life you seek
ReplyDeletePoster is afraid of losing her freedom and adventurous lifestyle
ReplyDelete