ADVICE NEEDED
My mother-in-law is by far the most kindest person I have ever met. She's so kind that I begin to ask myself if I am kind enough. Because I actually consider myself a very kind person. In fact she was already in love with me before she actually met me.....
We both have a lot in common. She's a gym freak just like me. At 62 years old you will think she's in her 40s.
She's generous to a fault, fun loving but above all she's very prayerful. What more can a girl ask for in a mother-in-law? I had the perfect life. My husband used to tease us about our relationship. He told me I have snatched his mother, then told his mum she has snatched his wife. Lol.
I have been married for 6 months now, me and my husband dated for one full year before we got engaged and we got married 2 months after our engagement. It was a perfect relationship. Because my husband is the best. Sweet, kind and very handsome.
I am pregnant and very sick but I thank God for my mother-in-law who has been around taking care of me making sure I'm okay. She's indeed a blessing.
We recently went to the hospital and on the drive back home, my mother-in-law was very quiet, then she suddenly packed the car and just stared into space.
I was worried. I asked her if everything is okay? She said there's something she needs to tell me. Something that has been keeping her awake at night.
I was worried. I asked her if everything is okay? She said there's something she needs to tell me. Something that has been keeping her awake at night.
She said I should please forgive her for not telling me sooner. I was really worried at this point. She said since at the age of 10 my husband has been having seasonal madness, it comes once in every 2 years it will last for 7 days, then it will go away and come back again in another 2 years. He's not violent, he just behaves abnormally.
She said they have done everything both medically and spiritually nothing has worked. So she has learnt to manage it whenever it comes. She said it will soon come, because it usually happens towards the end of the year. The worst part is my husband is not even aware that he has a mental issue. He remembers nothing after each episode.
And his family has refused to tell him after all this years.
No wonder he didn't tell me, the man that I'm married to would have told me during the early stages of our relationship. He is a very honest person.
My mother-in-law is begging me not to tell my husband, she said it will cause more harm than good. I don't agree with her.
I am devastated. Is this a generational curse? Will my first child inherit this seasonal madness? I have so many questions yet no answer.
What did I marry into?
What did I marry into?
They have advised you not to tell him and you are saying you dont think so?I too know!!!
The minute he knows with the next one will become full blown madness..... You will make things worse..... Ask her questions to find the answers that you seek
That your mother in law, is not a honest person at all..So she waited for him to marry you and get you pregnant before she told you this?
Find out if its a family and study how they handle him when it starts so that you can also know what to do....... If you tell him and it becomes worse, your MIL will not be nice to you again...
That your mother in law, is not a honest person at all..So she waited for him to marry you and get you pregnant before she told you this?
Find out if its a family and study how they handle him when it starts so that you can also know what to do....... If you tell him and it becomes worse, your MIL will not be nice to you again...
His family is so wrong, why keep such away from him. Go ahead, and tell him, so you both will know if it is a generational curse. Patapata, your mum in law won't like you again, but your hubby will have a vital info about his health..
ReplyDeleteLET ME SAY IT HERE
DeleteIf you are from the EAST, this is one of the things we send people to investigate before marriage.
Poster if your family fail to do that and allowed you to marry, don't blame the woman or be angry but blame your FAMILY.
My advise for you is to join NSPPD and you will see the Wonders of ELROI. That madness from the pit of hell will return back. Trust God and join the prayer.
Ana aju ajuju before marriage.
I agree with your mother-in-law not to tell your husband, at least not now, so that the situation will not get worse, just be prayerful and be very careful anytime the episode comes, but your mother-in-law is a very cunning woman, maybe she's even nice to you because of the situation.
ReplyDeleteHope you know you're about to born future werey?
ReplyDeleteNo it necessarily! Easy..
DeleteShe is the nicest person in the world, as you have narrated. Don’t ruin that relationship by getting upset over why she didn’t tell you all this while. I am sure she has also been feeling guilty for not sharing it sooner, considering the kind of person you are.
ReplyDeleteFor now, let it remain a secret between you both. Also, ask questions to know if the seasonal madness is hereditary.
Most importantly, be prayerful; there is nothing impossible with God.
She’s only nice to her because of her mad son cos she knows no woman will intentionally walk into such situation
DeletePoster dont allow that madness from the pit of hell to define your husband, you are to complete him as his wife. Thank God the mum prays, both of you are a divine force to fight that.
DeleteYour husband's case is akamu, join Paster Jerry Eze's NSPPD now. If you delay and doubt, your husband will manifest it but if you love him and believe Jehovah Yahweh, madness will go forever.
This is so sad. I really feel so sad for your husband. I advice you stay in the gap of prayers for him and your unborn child and also start seeking doctors advice for your child and always go for check up when the baby is born in order not to inherit that trait. There is nothing God cannot do poster. With all the qualities you have listed about him, please don't give up on him
ReplyDeleteI don’t even know what to tell you. Continue to love your husband and prepare for your child. Maybe his illness stems from the same thing that causes sleepwalking.
ReplyDeleteTalk more with your mil and his siblings to see what works best. Please ensure his mil or another family member is in the home with you when he transforms, this is especially important if the baby is home. Find out his sleeping patterns during this period, you may have to sleep elsewhere.
It is not a time to be quick to speak but quick to get knowledge and understanding. If the family has been able to protect him for so long then they know better than you, learn from them. I also think there is more your mil knows and isn’t saying, for now just ask about steps they take and how they deal with it. In time ask her what she hasn’t told you.
All the best
you need to speak to your MIL to find out the answers to all your confusions. Let her understand the reason why your husband need to know, they should stop hiding it from him cos one day he will get to know from someone who is not supposed to inform him. Now that you know, is the right time for his family to inform him before the punishment meant for his family you will partake in it during his anger days.
ReplyDeleteYour husband may not forgive you if you join them to cover this evil, tell him so that he can also find solution with you too in the best way he can to help himself. It could be a family thing or your MIL is using that medium to stay alive (no trust anyone). Your MIL have been all nice to you to a fault because she knows that you are in a hot stew. Her niceness was just to win you over before she share the family secret which you too is a part of the secret. When the time comes if you need to have a record of what has happened just as a way to be able to get solution or share with your husband please do but do not allow anyone have access to it.
You need to fear that your MIL, you also need to be very careful with that family. She only told you because the truth was about to come to light, same thing will happen on day when someone will tell your husband and mention your name as someone who knows but hides it from him. I will love to say this, how will you feel if such information is hidden from you by your husband? what will be your reaction if your family and husband hide such problem from you and you get to find out in the future, will you happy with them or him your husband? Be wise. She said no solution? there is more to that cos i don't believe no solution.
Dear Poster,
ReplyDeleteThis is indeed a quagmire...Didn't your family do any iju ese (family background check)....the kindness I know is saying the truth in the face of adversity especially to someone you love ❤️... Thank her for the info...
Is it possible to not know when he is having those episodes like blackouts or out of body experience....Anyway to be forewarned is to be forearmed...You have the information 🤔 you can start with prayers and then schedule a medical check for both of you...Both of you should do headscan (CT Scan) to find out more....it will be unwise to confront him...
At the end of the day, if the kitchen is too hot, you know what to do...
All the best
Iju whatever would only unravel what everyone knows. A lot of families have secrets and since it happens every 2 years and about a specific time, it's very spiritual. Not necessarily hereditary but definitely a source for concern.
DeleteSo many selfish people in this world, try and stay calm to hear the genesis of this issue and every thing you need to know for yourself and unborn child.
ReplyDeleteIt is well.
Maybe dat's the reason she is so nice to you.. ask her how it started first, find out if it is a curse your husband inherited,... one of my cousin inherited a curse of madness caused by his mother's and her brothers... the madness comes every middle of the year, after a short while it goes. And come back the next year, if not fully manage it becomes full Madness.
ReplyDeleteExactly!! So nice toor. She kept her secret,packaged her son,made sure you are pregnant b4 saying this. She is not an honest person at all. There are more she's hiding. You see this problem,even if she doesn't know the soliy,she definitely knows the cause. Brace up bcos more secrets will be unravelled
DeleteWhy not respect their wish and see if it is something you can cope with.
ReplyDeleteAlso be very prayerful because that madness is not ordinary.
Poster, you're pregnant already. You can't do anything. Listen to your mother in-law. All I know is that you will be needing a lot of prayers. Nko nbe.
ReplyDeleteWhy won't they tell him? He is an adult and should be fully aware of what he's facing and why. How are we not sure that telling him will not help him? He has to become an active part to the solution of his problem. Abi one Baba somewhere talk sey make dem no tell am? Like many have already pointed out, you are not in the know of the full story and if they can't open up and tell you the full truth, you are in soup. My advice is, try to find out the full truth so that you can be well informed to take the best decision. Also, leaving is an option if it pass ya power dear. Also you need to know if this condition can be inherited by your child. You weren't also told about it because they knew that you could restrict yourself from pregnancy and leave the marriage. Your marriage is built on a foundation of lies. Though not your husband's fault directly. Seek medical help and information for your unborn baby and your husband. If it is spiritual, then you will need strong spiritual backing. If you are not spiritually strong, you cannot face this.
DeleteJoin nsppd
ReplyDeleteEvery seasonal madness is more spiritual. Your mother in-law is aware of the cause but she is yet to get the solution.
ReplyDeleteGet involve with Dunamis daily midnight prayer . Commanding the day program might save your husband. Encourage him to pray together with you and your mother in-law. The curse will be broken.
Stay strong and don't inform him.
you said she is prayerful and her son is going through this kind of challenge. This might be a convenant she entered for her son. you can pray about it or endure it since it's just 7 days in 2 years
ReplyDeleteis your husband wealthy? it might be the source of his wealth
Hmmmm. Is the family wealthy? Is this a family issue or peculiar to this particular man? If the mother knows the genesis, she has to inform the wife, or was she told not to spill the secret? Secrecy is usually an indication of a lot of problems.
DeleteDon't tell him and since you said she is prayerful ,both of you can be praying for him when he is not around and the lord will not allow it to happen.You see nothing is forever as there are beginning and end to everything under heaven according to Ecclesiastes so don't fear God that knows everything will see your innocence and the good works of your mother in law and hear your prayer .Silently you will just see that the time came and nothing happens.As per your baby nothing won't happen as far as I know madness is not hereditary especially the like of the one you said ,moreover since your lineage is free ,nothing will happen
ReplyDeleteDon't tell him and since you said she is prayerful ,both of you can be praying for him when he is not around and the lord will not allow it to happen.You see nothing is forever as there are beginning and end to everything under heaven according to Ecclesiastes so don't fear God that knows everything will see your innocence and the good works of your mother in law and hear your prayer .Silently you will just see that the time came and nothing happens.As per your baby nothing won't happen as far as I know madness is not hereditary especially the like of the one you said ,moreover since your lineage is free ,nothing will happen
ReplyDeleteNow you see where the over kindness came from. She is very kind to you because she knows that there is a big unpleasant secret that you will have to deal with soon. That niceness will make you accept it.
ReplyDeleteAccept it and ask them how they manage it when it starts.
I just hope it is not a family curse and the woman is not hiding the full story from you.
Very deceitful of the Mil to be kind for selfish purposes
DeleteI watched love rats omo ladies watch am o .Nigerians dey learn work where oyibo dey
ReplyDeleteMy sister there is nothing God can not do, pray for him 🙏🙏🙏🙏.
ReplyDeleteWow. This is serious. To start with, i dont believe that your MIL is a genuinely nice person. Seems to me that it's because of this issue she has been nice all along. And it has to be when you're already pregnant, completely hooked already.
ReplyDeleteThe deed has been done anyway. You need to ask a lot of questions. The answers gotten will help in knowing what to do. I feel there's more to it though. Because what kind of sickness comes exactly every 2 years, lasting for a specific number of days and no cure both medically and spiritually? And he's not aware all these years? I don't think telling him will be a good idea, especially since the mum has begged you not to. She knows a lot you are yet to. My sister you need to open your eyes and ears wide going forward. Be very observant and be prayerful too. I pray God gives you the wisdom to deal with this.
My dear, the only thing that came to my mind after reading is ‘what God cannot do, does not exist’. Sis, prayer changes everything. Join NSPPD and see the wonders of El-Roi in your husband’s life. There is no perfect marriage out there but with God, all things are made whole.
ReplyDeleteHmmm this is Dicy oh, my advice is firstly look for a church that TEACHES THE WORD OF GOD, so that you can build yourself very well, y have to go all out in serving God. Then let your husband do same, When you know God personally, he will deliver him and your first child is at risk. Hiding it from your husband won help. But first let him be built in the word then you let him know. Then you fight it out in s. Any man without Christ built in him will never have permanent victory. Infact go to Jesus disciples fellowship. You will thank God you did
ReplyDeletePeople have seasonal affective disorders and inherent mental health conditions that have the seasonal components. the fact that a first degree relative has the diagnosis doesn't mean that all offspring would ultimately come down with it. Are they at risk genetically yes
ReplyDeletePoster, you are standing in the middle of a serious medical and ethical worry. The kindest act is not blind compliance but clear-eyed wise steps. Yes, telling him now could destabilise him - but ignorance can be a ticking bomb. When the truth eventually surfaces without your hand in it, you risk being cast as part of the deceit.
ReplyDeleteWhat we are looking at is not just about your husband’s condition; it’s about decades of secrecy that denied him the right to understand his own health. Whether the cause is psychiatric, neurological, or spiritual, it needs professional diagnosis - not only prayers and continued concealment.
Your mother-in-law’s generosity does not erase the calculated withholding of life-altering facts from you both. That silence has cost him a chance at treatment and robbed you of informed choices for your marriage, future, and child.
Ask for the full history - when it began, what has been tried, how it’s managed. Compare their accounts, and involve your own family in the discussion. Seek a discreet psychiatric evaluation before the next episode, and consult a genetic counsellor on hereditary risks. Document every detail you’re given and observe.
If you choose to tell your husband, do so in a safe, supported setting with both families present (especially his) - not in the heat of your emotion. Because marriage is not just a union of virtues; it is an embrace of each other’s realities (truths).
Love has never been blind obedience, but informed loyalty. Protect yourself first, then your child, then him.
Poster please take your mother in-law advice, keep praying for his deliverance,focus on God for his freedom,join commanding the day midnight prayers by pastor Paul Enenche, every 11mp all social media handles, your unborn baby is saved by the Precious Blood of JESUS CHRIST 🙏
ReplyDeleteThis is so sad. Your husband does not need such information cos it's of no benefits to him. He doesn't remembers what happened. Continue to pray for him.🙏🏿
ReplyDeleteThe way stella said ' if you tell him may result in full blown madness" made me crack my ribs in mad laughter. May God help us ooo..
ReplyDeleteAbeg abeg! they all purposely planned to keep this away from you, this is wickedness especially from the mother-in-law, no wonder she has been extremely nice to you for her to bond very well with you so you wouldnt find it easy to be mad at them when you know the truth and they waited for you to be pregnant knowing it will be very hard for you to end the marriage. Don't be surprised your husband is aware of his own madness. Why didn't they tell you this before you got pregnant so you can decide wether to stay in the marriage or walk away. I am sorry but your husband and his family are not nice people at all, they really did you dirty.
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts exactly. This serves as a lesson to not be too trusting of people who appear to be “too nice” cos you never know the heart of men
DeleteGod bless you @Neat Cut.
DeletePeople who suffer insanity always know whenever they snap out it
My sister, what if you MIL was only trying you. To test your level of love for your husband her son. Prayer to God b4 any action.
ReplyDeleteThis is a very dumb take tbh. Did you really type this with your brain intact ???? Who tests people with such revelations abeg
DeleteTests of love are mostly carried out before marriage
DeleteJesus, fix this.....
ReplyDeleteI don't want to talk much but note this; if it's a generational curse, the only thing that can make your kids to be free from it is prayer. Keep making declarations with the word of God. Positive confessions in this period of pregnancy is very powerful. Say, 'my kids are of the bloodline of Jesus Christ....' Just confess possitively everyday.
ReplyDeletePorphyria or some other metabolic disorder. Nnenne this is genetic. You have to decide whether you want this for your children. It should have been disclosed prior to marriage and will be valid grounds for divorce
ReplyDeleteWow! U have super powers oo, i want to be like you, just by reading few lines of a story you gave a full diagnosis without seeing nor examining the patient or even hearing the full details. Wonderful!
DeleteSad that you were deceived into marrying a mentally unstable man. You can choose to stay and manage the madness along with your future kids or leave. This is so hard mehn
ReplyDeleteAlso get your camera ready to record every details when it happen again so that you will have evidence to show him if you decide to tell him in future.
ReplyDeleteHmmm...my elder brother, the first son also suffered from this seasonal madness years ago...especially during rainy season. It hasn't happened in over 15yrs. I was in my teens then so I don't no what was done to heal him. My mum insisted it was spiritual attack from my father's side and took steps...
ReplyDeleteDear poster, keep watching since your MIL is aware and close to you guys means she will be of help when the time comes but if you look well if it's not what you can handle.... try to be prayerful too
ReplyDeleteI had this experience too,but mine was the guy told me himself(merciful God)he narrated everything for me and his mum pampered me too,Omo I reason am well say if I get pregnant this guy fit kpai me oo when the madness comes beacause I maybe too tired then,I now carry my shoe for head oso
🏃🏃🏃
If it was me, I would abort the six month pregnancy and walk out of the marriage.
ReplyDeleteI will not start my married life with struggles. Pray for him, ask how they take care of him when he starts, pray for your unborn child, bla bla bla.
So when The kids come and even if they don't have it, I will be explaining to them what their dad changed or we will hide him somewhere?
What if my first son also has it?
What if the madness is full blown one and not the one that MIL explained?
Omo, I can't deal abeg
From everything you wrote here...I can tell you that your mother in-law is not a nice person at all.
ReplyDeleteShe was only nice because she wanted you to marry her son and she is still nice because she wants you to stay married to him.
Nice kooor, yimu!
Concerning whether you should tell your husband or not, I honestly do not know. And if you tell him, she won't be nice to you again.