Hmmmmm...
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
COMPETITIVE WIFE
My wife is in a competition with my mum I don't understand why? My mum is a widow, who single-handedly raised three children by herself without the support of relatives from both sides.
She is a retired school teacher who made sure all her children went to the university from her small salary.
She sacrificed so much for our well-being, my siblings and I decided that the moment we start making money we will make her so comfortable that she will forget about all her past struggles.
God has been so faithful. We are all doing well now and our mum lacks nothing.
The problem I'm facing in my marriage now is if I send my mom 100k for an example, my wife will insist I send her parents the same amount of money. I told her that cannot happen.
I am not responsible for the upkeep of her parents. She earns a good salary, she has siblings that are doing well, they should contribute and take care of her parents just like me and my siblings are doing.
I do give them money from time to time, but I will not be forced into giving them money.
If my mom comes around to visit us and she wears one of those beautiful gowns my wife will ask me to buy her the same gown.
My elder brother and his wife live in Belgium, recently his wife sent my mum some things. Which were delivered to my office, I left them at the booth of my car because of my wife's behavior.
My mum is already aware that my elder brother's wife sent her something's, so she sent my elder sister to come and pick them up.
My elder sister called that she will be coming over by the weekend to pick up the things to take to my mum. I said okay. This morning as I opened my booth everything was gone.
When I asked my wife about the things in my boots she looked at me and said, if I want the things back I should give her 3 million naira.
I just walked away without saying a word. Is this not the kind of situation that can make a husband punch his wife?
I will just wait for my sister to come and handle this herself, whatever decision she makes I will support her 100%
What nonsense is this?Your wife dragging with your mum? Please this is not a marriage, if she wants to leave the marriage, let her go ASAP!!!
When I asked my wife about the things in my boots she looked at me and said, if I want the things back I should give her 3 million naira.
I just walked away without saying a word. Is this not the kind of situation that can make a husband punch his wife?
I will just wait for my sister to come and handle this herself, whatever decision she makes I will support her 100%
What nonsense is this?Your wife dragging with your mum? Please this is not a marriage, if she wants to leave the marriage, let her go ASAP!!!
Your wife has NO business taking what belongs to your Mum, and then demanding N3million before she releases it. Haba. Abeeeeg, do not punch her o.
ReplyDeletePlease update us. Because we will love to hear how she was embarrassed. What nonsense! Childish behaviour!
DeleteLook at this dodoyo writing long chronicle here, men like you just make me sick. Waiting for your sister to come and do what? You mean you can not handle your wife yourself. Please pay her the 3 million. This is what we are talking about when you see men raised by single mothers. They are always a problem to both the mother that raised them and themselves. Can you imagine the audacity... Stella please post...
Delete@Anon 18:46 what audacity pray tell? the items belong to his mum and was bought by his brother's wife.Poster contact your brother and tell his wife about the situation...Na she buy am let her handle it woman to woman...Kai i hate women like this , i swear if you do this to my mum you go collect o
DeleteToo bad of her.
ReplyDeletePut a stop to this nonsense and take charge of your home! This is not a having a conversation with her kind of lesson as shes been showing you this part of her before now. Send her home for 2 weeks so it sinks in. I hate nonsense.
Deletewhat nonsense! Call thief on her head so that they lock her up. if the gift was coming from you, i will say let her be. but it's from your brothers wife and she is acting this way
ReplyDeletethis is rubbish in the highest order
Oga you need to take charge of your household, your wife is doing too much and need to be put in her place asap.
ReplyDeleteOga this type of wife does not deserve openness in this marriage, stop telling her about money sent to your mum by you no matter how little or how big it is and for your mummy's gift man up and collect even before your sister gets to your house. She is not well trained with love. Ole
DeleteI will suggest you sit her down and tell her all that you have written down here. Your mum struggles before you met her, your sister in law was the one that sent those things and everything you wrote. If she still give you trouble after having this conversation, then know that she is from the pit of hell and have no conscience.
ReplyDeleteThen handle her based on that. Do not mistreat your mum for any reason. Nneka!
Dear Poster,
ReplyDeleteFrom everything you have written, it’s clear your wife is acting in a covetous way; always wanting whatever your mum gets and even demanding equal treatment where it doesn’t apply....That’s not healthy, and it shows signs of envy and insecurity.....Marriage really does bring out hidden character in people, and this one is a red flag....
That said, I will also advise that you to handle this matter wisely....Yes, your mum sacrificed a lot and deserves all the comfort you and your siblings can give her.....But be careful not to make your wife feel like she’s competing with your mother for your attention and loyalty.....Many Nigerian men unconsciously fall into this trap, and it breeds resentment at home.....
Stand your ground against unfair or covetous demands, but at the same time, reassure your wife of her place in your life.....Set boundaries firmly - she doesn’t have to get everything your mum receives but at the same time, avoid doing things in ways that make it look like you prefer your mum over her......
Honor your mother as you should, but also protect your marriage by showing balance and wisdom... That is the only way to reduce the tension and keep the peace.....
All the best...
Oh this chronicle infuriated me so much!
ReplyDeletePoster your wife comes off as a troublesome person. Why will a woman be in competition with her mother-in-law? Sounds off
I hope she realizes she'll be a mother-in-law someday in the near future? If she's treated same way will she like it?
Hopefully, this very episode of her shenanigans gets sorted by your family since they are involved, 'cause it feels like you've been condoning her excesses.
She needs to stop!
Talking about sending same returns as you do your mum to her parents, these are simple things to sort out. She can tactically take care of it without all these drama that she's on and about. A virtuous woman knows how to.
As I said, she comes off as a troublesome person and I hope your family wades in with this very episode.
If he hits her now, she will make a video and posts it online.
ReplyDeleteyou need to place your wife where she belong and set boundaries before she over do it. I am not happy with what you said that her mother is not your responsibility, if her mother did not take care of her as yours did, will you see her and get married to her? treat her mother as yours because they are all mothers and yours too. Send her mother money on monthly basis not a must that it must be same amount with your mother but is your responsibility to also take care of both mothers as both will pray for you.
ReplyDeleteFor your wife's attitude towards your mum, you need to sit her down and let her understand that your mum and her are not mate or into some competition. Your siblings cannot buy something for their mother and she your wife will take them without asking or want to wear same things your mum is wearing. She is working and doing well for herself, she should use her money or the upkeep money she has to purchase whatever she sees with your mum and want to have same. She should be a shame of trying to have competition with an old woman.
Make sure you place her where she belongs, she should go and have some sense from her mother before she come home to speak to you anyhow. Next time she ask you for money to get the same thing your mum is wear, please ignore her. People like her can kill just to have what someone is having. She must be a jealous and terrible friend before now or even currently doing same with her friends.
Your mum is not your spouse's responsibility please! Your spouse can only be a responsible in-law by doing what he's capable of. They are your parents and your responsibility! Let's be fair in our reasoning please.
DeleteThis is wrong,why would she even see her mother in law as competition instead of her mother, please this has to stop Asap.
ReplyDeleteWhat arrant nonsense. I think you are not taking charge here.
ReplyDeleteWomen!!! A woman like you suffered to raise her kids and you don't want her to reap the fruits of her labour?
ReplyDeleteDon't punch her. Don't give her shishi. She must release those things because she's not a thief. She doesn't value her marriage at all and it's even a woman like her that sent those things o.
I dey vex. Let your sister come Infact. Woman to woman, she must get sense. Mcheew...
You're not responsible for her parents, you can only do your quota. She is responsible for her parents. Your wife is not a good person, what sort of rubbish is this.. she seem not to be ready for marriage, if I be man aswear I go punch her, nonsense.
ReplyDeleteI hate rubbish, how can you cease my mum's cloth and tell me to bail it with 3million, or to bail it at all, is she okay?naaaa she is not okay. This woman is not ready for peace, if she give you gbas, oga give her gbos.
What kind of woman did you marry? Probably one of those hare-braines slay queen cow wtf! You better put a stop to this nonsense before it gets out of hand. Let your 'wife' not go and kill your mother for you out of her useless jealousy.
ReplyDeleteWhat do you mean you are waiting for your sister to come handle it?
ReplyDeleteWetin concern am for there? If its somebody like me , I ll cut the both of you off. Make i come de shout for outside or even inside? Never!
Handle your home Mr Man. Are you IceCream? Mtchew
Very Wicked wife
ReplyDeleteTalk to your wife.Or else she will have problems with your other family members.
ReplyDeleteThis is what we called Oturu Gbeke!
ReplyDeleteWhere you pick this one from?High class babe abi club girl.
ReplyDeleteGod forbid our enemies
Lol
DeleteSome daughters in-law and their wahala. Please don't let this slide.
ReplyDeleteOmoooo.
ReplyDeleteYour wife is a disaster waiting to happen. She is a bad person.
How dare she want to decide how you take care of your mum?
Please,put her in her place .
I bet you not every man your wife can try such nonsense on you enabled a lot, be in charge and be the man here what’s this rubbish, me as a girl I’m already boiling na you Dey keep her quiet try this with my brother your load go Dey outside
ReplyDeleteIt's like something is wrong with her head.
ReplyDeleteSee the kind greedy wife you married,I pray your sister teaches her serious lesson,meanwhile take charge of your home.
ReplyDeleteIf possible let her go because in future she might kill you ; something is wrong with her .By the time you show her she will adjust but please no beating or any violence whatsoever.
ReplyDeleteAre u sure she is really ok? Abi, what do u call this unhealthy attitude?
ReplyDeleteHehehehehe.. Just talk to her
ReplyDeleteSome ladies are special wahalaaa
Poster I guess you're too lenient and soft at home, she's taking your calmness for granted.
ReplyDeletePlease take charge and be a man of the home.
Let her return those items or ready to leave your house.
If I write what's on my mind, it might not be published. Be a man and not brother to the husband. I'm fuming.
ReplyDelete"Kekere lati peka iroko, ko ma dagba tan wa di oun to on gba odidi agbo lowo Eni"(You curbs the branch of an iroko tree in it's juvenile, for it will require a ram sacrifice when it's full grown). This act was left to grow till now that it's getting out of hand. Your sister is not the right person to confront her, be a man and stand your ground. Let her realized she's gone too far.
ReplyDeleteShe is a bad wife. Your mother is more family than your wife. Thank God for the kind of man that you are, don't let her ever bend you, continue to care for momma, she deserves all you have to offer her.
ReplyDeleteDon't give in to this rubbish behaviour please. You need to firmly resist and stand your ground. She has no right being competitive or interfering in how you guys choose to spoil your mum, neither are you obligated to take up her parent's bills. Please don't hit her though.
ReplyDeleteOga, let her firmly know that your mum is a line she must not cross! Don't go violent but apply your masculinity in this case. What nonsense! If your mom didn't raise you well, she would never have accepted to marry you. Call her bluff!!!
ReplyDeleteThis is so wrong of your wife. No Na...is there someone she respects??? And elderly person, do you both have mentors?
ReplyDeleteThis is why a couple needs mentors that will guide. In a situation like this, you need someone with wisdom to talk to both of you. Your wife needs to calm down.
As a lady, I’m beyond disgusted! Haba! Haba!! Haba!!! She’s terrible. Sorry to say
ReplyDeleteYour wife has serious self-esteem issues and she needs to go to a professional to get it resolved. She is probably one of those person who if she isn't speaking to someone she wants everyone to also not speak to them. This flaw is not good, because she will end up resenting your mother for absolutely nothing than the fact that you love and care of her. The ironic thing is, it is the good raising and character building that your mother did which caused her to get the husband she desired and saw you fit to marry. She should be kissing your mother's feet for raising a good son that she can now enjoy instead of being a nuisance.
ReplyDeleteSit her down and tell her plainly that she has an unsavoury character and you do not know what happened to her along the course of life to make her that way but she needs to resolve it. You knew your mother first, you came out of her body and she raised you and there will be no competition from her or anyone else regarding the love you give to your mother. She needs to see a psychologist and get some therapy because you do not want that nature to be transferred into the children.
And she and her siblings are responsible for the upkeep of their mother, this is the responsibility of every child. You may love her mother and do things, but her mother is NOT your mother. She is a damn miser, that's what she is, on top of her sour spirit. Mtssccchhwwww
She will release them, she is playing. Just tell her where they came from and when your sister is coming for them.
ReplyDeleteShe is working and can take care of her parents and even if she wants you to, she can't force it.
Take care of your home before she acts like that towards your mum directly
ReplyDeleteEven as a woman sef...dis chronicle dey vex me
ReplyDeleteWhich kind wife u marry so?
What a nonsense, will she take that from her brother's wife against her own mother
ReplyDeleteOga listen
My own is
Make arrangements to take your children to your sister as if they are going weekend but for your sister to take care of them for a someone time.
Then take your wife to her parents as if you went to visit them together. Then tell her you want to get something and disappear from there. When you get home change the house keys, call her parents that she is not yet ready for marriage that when she is ready she should tell you and you will come back for her.
Make sure you tell her and her parents her attitude when you have gone.
You can't try it with me as husband too
God Forbid Wicked Witch Jezebel As A wife ..
ReplyDeleteHello iya Boys
Where did you pick that Jezebel from?
ReplyDeleteYour wife is Evil. Some people are so terrible. And to think that she's a mum herself. This is sad
ReplyDeleteThis one no be wife na sharamuta. Na pumpum she take get her job .if you don't have kids yet let her go so she won't transfer this evil trait to innocent children. Let her go she belong to the streets
ReplyDeleteIyawo isonu 🙄🙄🙄
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteYou’re weak
ReplyDeleteHello Sir, your passivity is fuelling chaos. Waiting for your sister to intervene only makes you appear weak. A man can honour his mother and protect his wife, but never at the expense of truth and order - sadly, your account shows neither.
ReplyDeleteYour wife’s behaviour is not only childish, it is destructive. Her envy and entitlement suggest deeper emotional issues, yet you seem incapable of addressing them. Over time, by condoning her ultimatums, you have enabled resentment to fester. Please do not resort to violence, but silence and avoidance are equally as dangerous.
Truth is this is not your sister’s battle; it is your duty to restore order in your home. Honour your mother as you should, but make it clear to your wife that your mother is not in competition with her. Reassure her of her place, while insisting that her parents are her and her siblings' primary responsibility, not yours - you are first someone's son and one of their laws.
If your wife feels neglected, explore it calmly again, but set firm boundaries - I believe you must have had many such. No insults, no violence - just respect with love. Seek help elsewhere if the marriage still matters, but stop being passive. Weak leadership in marriage breeds chaos, and your children must not learn that pattern.