Friday In House News

 Weekend hailings....

FRIDAY MEMO

Happy Friday ya'all........ How is everyone doing? I pray your day ends with a miracle....

The Santa giveaway list will continue on Monday.....Those on the list should make sure their accounts are sent in by Sunday else on Monday i will replace their names with new name........

What is the meaning of Oluwatosin?

Those of you asking of BV Jeweluchi Chocolate noir, should know that she always vanishes and will reappear when it suits her..she is an adult and loves to travel around the World with her family.....Sometimes enjoyment doesnt allow her check Blog.......I have tried to check up on her but her number is not going through but i am sure that she is fine where ever she is........

This weekend i am gonna bake Christmas biscuits and see how it turns out....I will make vanilla and nutmeg flavours.....And it will be oatmeal biscuits.....Yummy!

Enjoy the rest of the day....

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INSIDE THE MIND OF A WOMAN GOING THROUGH MOTHERHOOD

My kids like to snuggle a lot, especially my first and my princess. I don’t mind at all, but these days my princess is going through a super possessive phase and doesn’t like anyone touching me, she keeps shouting mine!!, mine!!!

Anytime her siblings try to come near for a cuddle.

She watches me like a hawk even when she is busy playing she keeps watch and would run to hug me and prevent me from hugging her siblings at the smallest hint of them getting close.
I have been indulging her while explaining to her siblings that it's a phase and she will get over it.
She did the same thing again two weeks back, and as my first was letting go of me, while she pushed him away, he said with a sad face “but she is my mom too”.

Since then I decided to stop indulging my princess and let her know that it’s okay for me to cuddle her siblings. Especially at bedtime when they want to snuggle.
So I came up with an idea, I asked them to choose what sides they wanted, one person on the right, another on the left while the third would curl up on my tummy. Everyone is satisfied this way, and they all get their much needed cuddle.

Your kids na Ajebota......

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NOTORIOUS FOR JESUS

I am a spiritual person and I take my dreams seriously. 

At first, the dream wasn't clear because I was in a dream with someone I hadn't seen in ages, asking me to cross over to her side. The drainage between me and her was flooded with water and the minute I stepped in, the water took away one of my shoes. I tried to find it but to no avail till I woke up.

I couldn't unravell the dream but I remembered I yearned for an encounter prior bed time.
In the morning, I forgot to share the dream, however, in the afternoon, the dream started to manifest.
Somebody who gave me a contract suddenly withdrew it with the excuse that he was getting vibes that I wasn't serious because I am hesitant to communicate full commitment nor did I anticipate the modalities that was suppose to gear me towards executing the job. 

He however offered a little compensation for the time I had spent training and I was just about to reason his proposition when my hubby interfered and said he would handle the individual, make him pay through his nose for the emotional and financial investment I had made but his thoughtlessness didn't figure.

My husband thought he was trying to play smart. He concluded that we would sue him to court and I had concurred, when suddenly, I recalled the dream.
The individual from the dream was my husband and if we tried to escalate the issue, it would work against us. I narrated the nightmare and we retracted our decision.
Our dreams can be powerful and save us from imminent mistakes or destruction.

But how are you sure?So your hubby was the one on the other side asking you to cross over?

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WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU’RE MARRIED TO A CHRONIC NARCISSIST

There are marriages that bless your life, and there are marriages that drain the very oxygen out of your lungs. Living with a chronic narcissist often feels like you’re slowly disappearing inside your own home.

You smile outside, but inside you’re constantly afraid: afraid of saying the wrong thing, afraid of being misunderstood, afraid of being attacked for simply having needs.
Narcissistic marriage is not just tough—it is emotionally exhausting, mentally demanding, and spiritually draining.
This essay is not theory. It is not motivational fluff. It is the honest reality of what many go through behind closed doors—and a guide to finding clarity, strength, and direction.

1. ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE NOT IMAGINING IT
The first step to surviving marriage with a narcissist is naming the reality. Narcissists are not just difficult people—they are emotionally manipulative individuals who believe the world must revolve around their desires.

A chronic narcissist:
- Never apologizes genuinely
- Twists every disagreement to make you the villain
- Lives on constant admiration
-Crumbles inside but attacks outside
- Uses shame, guilt, intimidation, or cold silence as weapons
- Makes you doubt yourself through subtle emotional manipulation
You did not cause this behavior. You cannot pray it away by pretending it doesn’t exist. You cannot love it into healing by shrinking yourself. Call it what it is. You cannot fight an enemy you refuse to recognize.

2. STOP TRYING TO FIX WHAT YOU DID NOT BREAK

One of the most painful things in marriage with a narcissist is the constant self-blame.
“Maybe if I talk softly…”
“Maybe if I pray more…”
“Maybe if I just try to make them happy…”
But here is the truth: You did not create their insecurity, their ego, their selfishness, or their emotional blindness. You don’t have the power to heal what they don’t admit is broken. A narcissist doesn’t change because you sacrifice yourself—they change only when they choose to confront their own darkness.
Your job is not to fix them. Your job is to protect your mind, your peace, and your dignity.

3. LEARN THE POWER OF EMOTIONAL BOUNDARIES
You cannot survive a narcissistic marriage without boundaries. Not walls—boundaries. Walls shut people out. Boundaries protect your sanity.
A boundary is a clear line that says:
“This is how I deserve to be treated.”
“This is what I will accept.”
“This is what I will not tolerate.”
Examples include:
- “I will not engage in conversations where you insult or belittle me.”
-“I will not respond to shouting.”
- “I will not accept blame for things I did not do.”

Boundaries are not threats. They are limits. And you enforce them with calm firmness not anger, not tears, not desperation.

4. DO NOT EXPLAIN YOURSELF ENDLESSly—THEY DON’T LISTEN

A narcissist hears only what supports their ego. They turn your explanations into accusations. They flip your pain into a reason to attack. They manipulate your clarity into confusion.
Stop over-explaining.
Stop begging them to understand.
Stop hoping that if you say it better, they will hear you.
Say your truth once. Say it calmly. Say it without fear. Then maintain your emotional boundary. You are not responsible for how they react to your truth.

5. BUILD A SUPPORT SYSTEM OUTSIDE THE MARRIAGE
A narcissist will isolate you emotionally. They want you to believe:
- No one understands you
- No one supports you
- You have nowhere to run
- You need them more than they need you
Break that illusion.
You need people you can talk to—friends, mentors, pastors, counselors. Not to gossip, but to stay emotionally alive. Silence kills slowly. Isolation destroys confidence. Having people who remind you of your worth is not betrayal—it is survival.

6. DOCUMENT REALITY FOR YOUR SANITY
You are not keeping records to fight. You are keeping records to remain sane.
Write down:
- What was said
- What happened
-How it made you feel
This helps you see patterns clearly instead of doubting yourself. Narcissists are experts at rewriting history. Documentation protects your mind.

7. STOP WALKING ON EGGSHELLS
You are not responsible for their temper.
You are not responsible for their insecurity.
You are not responsible for their reactions.

Stop trying to predict their moods like a weather forecast. Stop shrinking to keep peace. Peace bought by losing yourself is not peace—it is bondage.
You deserve to breathe freely in your own home.

8. PRIORITIZE YOUR MENTAL HEALTH
Narcissistic marriage can affect your:
-Confidence
- Sleep
- Self-esteem
- Emotional stability
- Spiritual strength

Therapy, counseling, and trusted pastoral care are not signs of weakness—they are signs of wisdom. A wounded soul cannot heal itself. Seeing a professional is not lack of faith—it is good stewardship of your mind.
God cares about your emotional health. You are not dishonoring marriage by protecting your mental well-being.

9. DECIDE WHAT YOU CAN CONTROL AND RELEASE WHAT YOU CAN’T
You cannot control:
- Their character
- Their emotions
- Their reactions
-Their past trauma
- Their willingness to change
But you can control:
- Your mindset
- Your boundaries
- Your emotional energy
- Your responses
- Your healing journey
Your life does not end because your spouse refuses to grow. You are still responsible for your destiny.

10. KNOW WHEN TO SEEK SAFER DISTANCE
Not every narcissistic marriage ends in divorce. Some spouses change with therapy, maturity, or spiritual awakening. But some remain chronic and destructive.

There comes a time when the question is no longer:
“How do I make this marriage work?”
The real question becomes:
“How do I stay safe—emotionally, psychologically, spiritually?”
You are allowed to create distance if the relationship becomes toxic to your well-being. Seeking safety is not rebellion; it is wisdom.

11. REMEMBER THAT YOUR WORTH IS NOT DEFINED BY THEIR TREATMENT
You are not invisible.
You are not unlovable.
You are not the problem.
You are not weak.
Their inability to love you well does not mean you are unworthy of love.
Your soul matters. Your peace matters. Your joy matters.
FINAL WORD:

You may not be able to change a chronic narcissist, but you can change the way you respond. You can take back your power, your clarity, your peace, and your dignity. You can choose healing. You can choose strength. You can choose life.
And you are never alone.
Your healing journey matters. Your future is worth fighting for.
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Some of you need to save this cos you are married to aserial cheat.....

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