One woman sold fried fish beside our house that time and my mom's shop was also in front of our house. That night my mom was cooking inside, I was asked to watch over the shop that night then the neighbor's daughter came and told me she wanted to go and fetch water before her mom arrived that I should also watch over her shop which I did...
Only for to come back and she said I stole her mom's fish and she went ahead to report to my mom and my mom immediately believed her and beat the hell out of me...... it was my dad that came to rescue me.
The next day my mom went to my school and embarrassed me ( it caused an argument between my parents) only for me to arrive from school in the afternoon and my mom was treating me nice.......
It was later she found out from one woman that it was her brother that sold the fish when he came to take his food cause he was doing night with his boss.....
I cried ....
The girl and my mom never apologized to date and I've always hated my mom for this even though it's been years, mind you she never corrected what she said in my primary school after finding out the truth...
I was always asked about things that got lost in school till I left that school. i dont hate the girl rather I hate my mom for believing someone else over her own child..it's been over 4 years and I still don't know how to move on.
WOW!!!...This is sad...
Can you not tell your mum how her actions has made you hate her?Were you always stealing at home that made your mum believe it when you were accused outside? Your mum went too far but then her mindset may have informed her actions.....You are wiser, smarter and educated and you know right from wrong..........Let out your anger, let her know, keeping quiet is causing more damage...Please talk about it now with her .....
I feel for you, Poster. Going to your school, to embarass you was so wrong. She found out you were innocent, instead of an apology, she acted nice (typical African mother). I feel you should have a talk with her.
ReplyDeleteI think the error is mine during editing.....
DeleteYour mother’s style of parenting is extreme but fear based. Some parents do not feel that there is ever any need to apologize to a child because they are the parent, but everyone should be humble enough to say they are sorry when they are wrong, even an adult to a child. The humility God asks of us should be lived out and no pride go before us.
ReplyDeleteYou must find a way to let the hatred go, it will destroy your soul. Hatred is not a healthy emotion and you cannot carry that around for decades inside of you. Please muster up the courage and speak to your mother about this. You need to get it off your chest so it doesn’t eat you alive. There is no parent that has parented perfectly, none. Find forgiveness where you can because she is just human and has her flaws. Also, talk to your father about it too, after all, he has always been in your corner, you could even speak to him first about it, because he seems wise and perhaps can provide some words of wisdom to you.
I wish parents could cue in to the simple things that can damage their child and the relationship between them.
It's been over 4 years? And thus thing happened in your primary school? Try and forgive your mother anywayz
ReplyDeleteTry and tell your parents, call them that you want to talk to them, tell them what you passes through and how it affected you, cry loudly
Deleteyou should have a discussion with your mom about what she said to you and how you felt since that incident. Let it go after the discussion so that you can find healing and move on. It will be a tough one but i believe you need healing, forgive her.
ReplyDeleteThis is really hurtful.
ReplyDeleteIt is completely valid to feel that you cannot forgive your mother. Your feelings of anger, betrayal, and pain are a direct result of a serious violation of trust. When a parent believes and spreads a lie, and then refuses to apologize or correct the impression even after knowing the truth, it is a form of emotional damage. e no easy to forgive that kain thing but you see, she is still your mum.
You may want to consider having an open conversation with your mother about the lingering resentment caused by the past incident, with the hope that she will acknowledge her role and apologize, So you can put all of these behind you.
It takes a great man and a great woman to forgive. Pour it out to her and set yourself free. I know it ain't easy but you can try.
This is sad and painful reading your story. Please let her know how you're feeling so you can heal as well.
ReplyDeletePoster e-hug to you.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry that you experienced such.
Please talk to your mum calmly about it and tell her how she made other people see you, and how deeply hurt you are. Don't turn it to a quarrel, just talk to her calmly.
If you feel that you can't talk to her or express yourself clearly to her face to face; then write her a letter explaining everything you want to tell her. Hand her the letter and leave her to read it. Let her read it alone and assimilate it. She will call you later for discussion and probably apologize.
However, whatever the outcome is; you need to forgive her so that you can be free and move forward. Best wishes.
Try to talk it out with your mom, so that you can be healed, something similar or even worst happened to me, and it's not as if I used to steal, that would make my mom believed the accusers, infact all of my mom's children don't steal, I still have the scars to show for it, it's a very long story that I can't break down, at least for now.
ReplyDeleteIt was later discovered that the woman's two daughters were responsible for the stealing, when I confronted my mom for allowing them to tortured me like that, she apologized to me and said she didn't know, that it felt like a spell was cast on her, anyways, I forgive her because she has always been there for me through thin and thick.
So you're in secondary school? Ahh
ReplyDeleteVery painful experience. Girl be intentional about completely forgiving both of them. For your growth and mental wellbeing.
ReplyDeleteSo you say it happened 4 years ago in Primary school? Are you still in primary school or in secondary school?
ReplyDeleteTalk with her and free your heart. I know it hurts because she betrayed you
ReplyDeleteIt doesn’t matter where she is right now—words travel, and experiences like this can leave deep scars. If an issue isn’t properly addressed, it’s completely valid for her to still feel hurt years later. Iyan ogun odun a maa j'oni lowo.
ReplyDelete@poster, I encourage you to speak with your mum and calmly explain how her actions made you feel, and the consequences they had—such as being questioned whenever items went missing at school. That kind of experience can seriously damage a person’s self-esteem. It’s important for her mother to acknowledge that this was deeply hurtful. At the very least, a situation like that should have been thoroughly investigated before assuming such behavior from her own child.
Which kin mother be this?
ReplyDeleteWhy did she believe the story?
Have you been stealing from her?
To the point of going to your school?
Not nice at all
Some parents can traumatize their kids ehn. I'd never believe anyone until I confirm from my child
ReplyDeleteYour mother's way of punishment is terrible 😩 After joining the accusers to say you did what you didn't do, she also took the case to school. Why?
ReplyDeleteI have always apologized to my children whenever I am wrong. I see no shame in that and that is how it should be done ✅
Pls find time to sit down with your mum & bare your mind. You're too young to carry burdens ok. So sorry about what you went through. Big hugs to you dear 🤗
You wrote this as though when it happened you were in primary 3. Four years later is how many years now?
ReplyDeleteFor your sake, progress in life, you have to forgive her and move on.
ReplyDeleteIt's too much a wait to bear
Daily ask God to help you heal. A s proclaim daily to yourself aloud that :mummy I have forgiven you. I love you. '.
It will shock you how dis ordinary statement will change everything
Am not a kid yet I remember the relationship with my mom flipped when a file (I had taken and returned) containing important company details got missing. I was questioned over and over, my wife got involved in the inquest.... She (my mom) kept acting like I was holding onto the file and lying about it. Unfortunately I couldn't remember to whom I had handed it over to. It was eventually found with the cashier who claimed she didn't know it was the exact document that was being looked for.
ReplyDeleteThe accusations didn't hurt as much as my own mom leading the inquisition.
Such things hurt deeply and can irreparably damage relationships if not dealt with in a timely manner.
Learn from others experience and seek for Your peace and release the hurt.
Child get off the internet and go study.
ReplyDeleteGoogle precedent and you will understand why your mother acted this way.
Be a better child,you must have been stealing before and lying. Thats why she didnt ask questions.
Stop it.