Hmmmm.....
This is about my son and his wife who are having their first grandchild on both sides of the family and is due in two months. While speaking with my son recently, he informed me they want to bond privately for about two months before allowing any visitors after the birth of their child.
I asked if I could make the two-hour drive just to meet the baby after birth even offering to stay for just a day but they refused.
I explained that experienced mothers traditionally support new parents with meals, laundry and other chores, but they are insisting on total privacy.
They clarified this is not related to concerns about germs but for personal reasons. Now on the wife side, we're both family friends, both mothers are worried for them because his wife told her mum same thing three months ago.
We're both praying for them because no one really understands what's going on with them and to the best of my knowledge they're both doing well financially. I'm putting this out there to know if anyone has navigated this difficult path or it's part of the Gen z way of life?
Na the wife no want anybody to come...Na always the wife....I sure say you sef understand how e be when woman just born...you no fit force your way enter when dem no ready..let them settle down first...when baby no let dem sleep and all the stress of motherhood, dem go call una to come help...no worry!
Na the wife no want anybody to come...Na always the wife....I sure say you sef understand how e be when woman just born...you no fit force your way enter when dem no ready..let them settle down first...when baby no let dem sleep and all the stress of motherhood, dem go call una to come help...no worry!
Abi na coded surrogate dem wan do?
If they don't want anyone around them for 2 months, biko don't go. You can call/text to check up on them and their baby.
ReplyDeleteWife most likely didn't birth the child.
DeleteGrandma, just told your hands and watch. Like Stella said, when the baby duties makes them sleepless and depress they will.call for help.
ReplyDeleteExactly Stella
ReplyDeleteYour last line is my suspicion allegedly o
Honestly
DeleteMyself thinking like that ooo
DeleteI don't understand why this generation is like this? First Mum needs help, counsel and many other things. What if she develops complications?
ReplyDeleteAnyway, like ask said they will call for you in no distant time. Bonding can be done at any time.
They certainly will need help.
Many of this women say they are coming to help but ends up stressing the new mum, to be honest. Let the couples be, it seems they have figured out how to handle their new born. My cousin's wife wasn't happy when her husband mum came for omugwo because according to her, mum in-law was always carrying her baby and she didn't get to bone with her baby
DeleteIt seems like I'm having comprehension issue.
ReplyDeleteYour children are blocking you from seeing your great grandchildren.
Call your grandchildren direct and tell them you want to see your great grandchildren.
Gaskiya truly comprehension is ur problem, but it’s not too late you can do something about it.
DeleteYour worries are valid but let them be and forget about it. Children must not follow old traditions, they should be able to create their own. Assure them you respect their decision and you are a call away if they change their minds.
ReplyDeleteBy telling them that, you build trust with them.
Some people do this
ReplyDeleteI don’t see the point but it’s common now
I'm surprised too.
DeleteI will speak from experience , when I had my last baby my husband and I really wanted to enjoy all the moments with our newborn . When we had our first son , we didn't have that much luxury. Baby was most time with my mum .
ReplyDeleteWe had the first 6 months with my newborn and we totally loved it. We bonded well , did baby duties together , sleepless nights together . By the time parents started coming both mothers were proud of us .
THEY ARE HIDING SOMETHING!
ReplyDeleteDey are hiding nothing!
DeleteMy sister did this for her first child but only for one week. After that first child she never did it again. Everything is new and awe inspiring to the one who has never experienced it before.
ReplyDeleteTwo months is quite long. Knowing my personality. I would probably not show up until the baby is 6 months old, I waited so you can too. Just respect their wishes and do not ask again about it, when they lift the ban you can decide if you want to go immediately or wait for sometime.
Is there something they're hiding.
ReplyDeleteFirst mum with little or no experience don't need help.
Just give them the privacy the need
Grandma don't worry yourself. They will surely call you when they "wear the shoe and see how it is".
ReplyDeleteSo foolish of them they don’t want their family members close to the new born but they will invite strangers to work for them as nanny and babysitter am sure the woman carried fake pregnancy all along and her husband is aware that’s why she know that they will know and now she’s not wanting real grandparents close
ReplyDeletethere is more to what they told you, they cannot shut the door on both mothers not visiting them till after two months. Your son and his wife know something that they are trying to keep secretly. Allow them do as they wish for now, whenever they tell you is okay to come around. You can visit but for now calls and text message is all good to go.
ReplyDeleteGod abeg oo 👏.
ReplyDeleteMake my daughter no think like this.
Grandma, God bless you for showing concern but you clearly understand that they have told you their choice.
Using bonding to keep everyone out of their home, just dey your house.
BV Official prestige
God abeg oo 👏.
ReplyDeleteMake my daughter no think like this.
Grandma, God bless you for showing concern but you clearly understand that they have told you their choice.
Using bonding to keep everyone out of their home, just dey your house.
BV Official prestige
Dem no dey advise new parents for this one,the sleepless nights and stress will reset their brains,trying to navigate mine currently and the sleepless nights are deali
ReplyDeleteIf they don't want you, don't go there, they know what they're doing and maybe there's more to wanting to bond with their new baby, they're definitely hiding something.
ReplyDeleteGrandma just respect their wishes. I yearned and prayed for this kind of care. Both the grandmas no send me.🙄🙄🙄
ReplyDeleteThey're hiding nothing. Grandma please just understand them, thanks God is not a one way things. Two months no way na you go carry baby taya hmmm
ReplyDeleteSomebody is saving you stress and you are here writing chronicles. Hian leave them alone and enjoy your life
ReplyDeleteI'm seeing spiritual things here ( Maybe their spiritual father in the Lord has instructed them to do so) because a lot is going on in spiritual realm.
ReplyDeleteBut if there's nothing like that, it's mean they are hiding something.
So keep away from them and show up when they need you but when you like.
I will suggest that you remain on your lane until they are ready to bring the child to you.
Na oyibo way be dis and I think it’s a whole load of crap. And it seems like Nigerians are now copying without understanding the factors that make things like this happen. Then I see the same Oyibo people who implement these nonsense rules lamenting about how they have no village to help with the kids… what were they expecting before?
ReplyDeleteAnyway, you have no choice. Do not mention it again, you can’t be begging for stuff like this. Send them a small gift on delivery. Let them experience that newborn stress alone for eight weeks… they think it is a romantic something? I can almost guarantee that by the second child, they won’t have this nonsense rule. Bond ko, James ni!
I guess they dont want any issue probably, they dont know which mother to come first.
ReplyDeleteThey might have had issues concerning which mother should come first and resulted in not allowing anyone comes at all.
They will be fine, mama don't take it to heart.
Gbam
DeleteLet them bond. If it were me, I won't fret. Pack my bags and go to Jamaica. When they call me to finally come, I'd tell them let me bond with nature first.
ReplyDeleteNa my style dis. Do you and I’ll do me.
DeleteLmao. Don't worry ma. Give them 2 days after they return from the hospital. They will beg you guys to come
ReplyDeleteWhen my friend birthed her second baby she didn't allow neither her mum or mum in-law come because they really stressed her during her first when they came. She said she would rather do it herself than to be stressing over adults
ReplyDeleteAbeg leave them be. In this our obodo oyinbo it is common. As a MIL myself I simply had their favourite foods delivered regularly and sent cleaning vouchers they are free to redeem. I also paid for a night nurse too. Me I just took my hubby on a nice cruise for a month as a second honeymoon. GenZ couples and Gen X parents. equation balance.
ReplyDeleteGrandma don't bother yourself,they will call when the need arises
ReplyDelete