Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Husband In The Diaspora?FORGET IT!...Blog Visitor Narrative.

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Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Husband In The Diaspora?FORGET IT!...Blog Visitor Narrative.

 She was caught up in the fever to travel abroad...perhaps it was indeed love but she saw a new meaning to what love can be when she relocated to Germany to join her Diaspora husband.....The reason she is sending this mail to you Nigerian women DESPERATE to marry men abroad and relocate is to warn you to make do with the ones back home in Nigeria...she says it is a different ball game and her story is pathetic...She is currently living in one of the asylum homes and decided to tell her story........






I used to be a flight attendant,i was doing great and just started my career.then I fell in love with my ex.i was crazy about him,he called me more than 20 times a day,adores me.he was based here in Germany.he proposed to me and i accepted.he came back to Nigeria for our traditional weeding.this was 2011.he told me how things were hard for him and he had no money that i should pay for the wedding and he will refund me back.


I guess u know he never did,well i blindly paid for everything and we got married traditionally.thank God it was only traditionally.
He told me to come join him in Germany,i came same 2011 November and then my eyes opened.he showed me his true self.

After spending all my money and he knew i had nothing left,he started beating me and one day after beating me i ran out of the house only to come back and see another woman.

When i confronted him,he said he does not love me and only married me because of pressure from his family to marry.
Then the real nightmare began,i was already pregnant and knew no one.my visa had expired already but the abuse and beating was too much so i had to leave him to take asylum because of my baby and for me not to loose my mind.

I was directed to Karlsruhe and there i took asylum and was posted to Stuttgart.
it was there i found out that he had problems and will be told to leave Germany which was what happened.

I had my son and our relationship became worse.my son could not get his stay because of his fathers pending cases and he was later told to leave Germany.


You know how asylum cases are.God has been good to me.we are still waiting to know my faith and sons faith for our status.but for now we live in one of the homes in Stuttgart and was told 2 weeks ago to look for 2 room apartment which the city will pay but without heating.

It has not been easy for me But i still pray and believe things will be okay.with the social money i get i still send some to my parents because my dad is retired and my mum is sick. 

When people see my pictures on Facebook they know nothing about what i am going through,thank God for sales where you can see clothes for 3-5 euros.


Nigerian women,please appreciate the man you see in Nigeria.all these obodo-oyibo guys are worse than the devil himself.may my enemy not go through what i went through and still going through......''.



*Wow you married yourself by paying for your traditional wedding honey!
So sorry about your case,I will invite you soon to a nice Restaurant for Lunch and we can gist.
Please dont be sad,just take the pain in your stride...next time you know better to hide your purse!

184 comments:

  1. SAD.....so his so broke dt u hv to use ur money to do ur own trad wedding,tufikwa ARU

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    Replies
    1. Na wa oh!! Story that touches... My dear , it is well with u!!! I don't trust some of these obodo oyibo guys either... They r smth else !! They too lie, they too pose, they too broke too, Kpele!!

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    2. oriegwu na so we see am for here,Europe guys broke ass nigas.

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    3. If you must eat frog, eat the one with eggs. If you must marry outside naija, make sure it's an "Oyibo man" aka 'whitie".
      Thank you!!!

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    4. Sorry case of "I must marry by fire by force" young girls, MARRIAGE IS NOT THE ONLY GOAL IN LIFE. Why don't you pack your load back to Nigeria? Must you seek asylum? Anyway na you sabi...

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    5. Looool, not all of them. Some abroad guys I know married babes from naija and they are doing very well and living happily. It could have happened to u even in naija if u were living in different towns. Ur greed and excitement no gree u do ur investigation well. U never see abroad before so u dived in and foolishly paid for ur wedding, telling the man "I be 1st class mugu, come chop" na u do urself biko

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    6. She should shut her dirty mouth and deal with her greed. Idiot, I know many people who married from Nigeria and they are living very comfortable and happy

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    7. Dear poster, it's a pity that you had to go thru all that. Fortunately the grace of God is still available and will give you a better testimony even if for your son's sake. As for the advice you gave, I disagree. It can happen to anyone. Irresponsible guys in Nigeria will travel and still be irresponsible and so will responsible ones too. In your case, you shortchanged yourself. There are certain things you don't do, example lending your fiancé money to come and marry you? I believe you have learnt your lesson. It is well. ( feeling sleepy, pls pardon any typo)

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    8. Sue u are absolutely correct. Geographical location has nothing to do with an individual's state of mind..or shall I say, their social orientation. Your mind set remains the same no matter where u go. If u are a lazy ass in Nigeria, when u go abroad u are still the same lazy ass. The only difference will be that ur laziness has entered cold weather.

      Madame poster I am sorry for ur situation and I do not wish to apportion any blame at this juncture. Paying for ur trad wedding was the first and greatest undoing yet. Badluck is what u started with. However, can u not get a job or return to Nigeria? Nothing says u have to remain in Germany where u are a 3rd class citizen without papers. I think it is even more honorable to let the govt know that u would be happy to return home. Who knows, perhaps they will see the genuine part of u and will prolly offer you something quicker. Don't be too comfortable receiving tax payers money love.

      As for your ex, the thing wey dey chase am go soon make am realise that he goofed. If u ever make it in Germany or anywhere else, make sure that you show him pepper. But do not deprive him of his son should he come asking to see him though. All the best.

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  2. Hmm. ....I'm sorry to hear about your situation but sometimes women don't exercise patience. There's always two sizes to everystory. My husband used to beat me before but now he stopped with my patience .

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    Replies
    1. Thank you for your honesty. Must women never see there fault. I beat my ex wife once cos she went to spend the night with a guy she met on Facebook. The way she narrated that story ehn, I couldn't get a naija girl to date me in the whole of Atlanta for 3long years, so a started dating African Americans been hooked since

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    2. Your case is a case of greed, how can u relocate to Germany to stay with a guy that made u pay for your wedding? Many Nigerians her in yankee married girls from back home n most of them r happy.

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    3. Huh Madame, happy for you that he stopped o. But what if u died in your state of being 'patient'? Don't try that next time biko.

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    4. @anon 1:44, see as you dey tlk dat u beat up your ex-wife like it's so cool... r you her father or is she a child that you can just whoop when she misbehave. Smh!!! Well try that nonsense with akata n u will really understand the true definition of getting hooked

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  3. Ok *patt ogar style*

    Haney

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    Replies
    1. I am sorry but you relocated on a visiting visa? Nigerians being an illegal immigrant outside Nigeria means you have no right to remain.

      You took so many wrong steps, it's easy for me to pass judgement however after now for the sake of your son take the right steps henceforth. I truly wish you well

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    2. Hmmm. Ifeneme!

      Spending money on men, let me rephrase that, spending money to do that which the man in your life should do is not a good sign. Let men be men. Me, I use to be miss independence...I still am independent... but, I have learnt to let men do their manly duties of providing, if you know do am...na waka dey go levels I dey.
      Bottom line, pray to God to give you the right man...the right man knows his responsibilities.

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    3. Abi o. I found out a long time ago that majority of those who live in Nigeria live better than those abroad. Now let me rephrase for clarity, I mean that, those in Nigeria who hold good employments vs those who live abroad who also hold good jobs.
      Whilst I was still living abroad I noticed that when people come for holidays they spend money well and luxuriate, unlike their counterparts abroad who perhaps have payed their bills with all they earned for the month and have little of nothing to go by till the next pay check. Hardly do people abroad keep savings.

      For those abroad have to save for a bit to afford a luxurious holiday, if at all. That is why most of us behave like the white man who can save money for 2 years to afford a holiday on any island. White folks are prudent with monies. While on the other hand d average Nigerian can decide to travel just a day or two before departure without any prior plan to do so. Nigerians travel on impulse. Which is why statistics show that we are the most travelled bunch in the world. Ask Richard Branson and the rest. They can't do without us because the bulk of their money is made from us.

      My point here is, men who live abroad are not as flamboyant with their finances as those who live in Nigeria. Their every penny is always accounted for, save for the yahoo boys o. So any hard working upright man who is responsible with his finances can Never appeal to a Nigerian babe who perhaps is carried away with him ONLY because he lives abroad. That's when you'll hear babes saying ' he's too stingy' etc.

      Money and love are two different things so don't get it twisted. If u must join your spouse abroad be ready to work ur butt off. It's not easy at all o. OK bye

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    4. @sisi eko. Gbam! You captured it well.
      BTW I have this feeling you once had a blog called bottompot or nice anon.

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    5. My oh my oh my....@Sisi Eko u too much. I keep telling pple this issh. Mehn u are so on point o.

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  4. When I say that no man wil see my dime till we are fully married, it seems lik am selfish. How on earth can u pay for ur own traditional marriage? Love? Hmmm...sounds more lik desperation. Btw, its common knowledge dt abroad husbands are not the best, except if u re absolutely sure of his status over there. U can do a check on him thru friends and relatives dt live in same city/country as him. But for me, I prefer livin in naija. There's no place like home

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    Replies
    1. My dear it's men who wants to be irresponsible generally. My sis us also in d same ish....her hubby wants to travel out by all means and gas been haranguing her for money through mental violence...women should be careful and not desperate to settle down

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  5. I feel sorry for u but i must blame you, make some contributions for your wedding but never pay for the whole thing. Its a shame. But dont get it twisted it is obodo oyinbo NIGERIAN guys. He is a bad man, there are few good Nigerian men. Ols ladies better single than married to a foolish man. God is your strength.

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  6. Replies
    1. @poster please deactivate your Facebook account and stop deceiving our single girls back home that all is rosy in Europe. Also why not sort yourself out first before sending money to your folks back home or won't you need money to get a good immigrant lawyer when the time comes.Titimadame

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    2. Wow!!! EVE E UME

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    3. Definition of wow
      wow[ wow ]
      expressing surprise: used to express surprise, admiration, wonder, or pleasure
      impress somebody greatly: to impress or delight somebody greatly
      great success: a great success or an object of great admiration.

      I am tired of the wrong use of wow!
      It's for positive things and not negative, please be guided.
      Thank u

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    4. Ur first definition says it all....WOW IS USED TO EXPRESS SURPRISE!!!!.....I can be SURPRISED about something NEGATIVE....u don't express surprise only in POSITIVE situations...eg I am surprised that he is an imbecile......so YOU Should please BE GUIDED!!!!

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    5. Wow two olofofo fighting. Wòw

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  7. Go home! That's all I have to say. Even if you get the papers, can you get a good job in Germany? Will you be leaving a good life . In Nigeria, you can start any business and start to grow.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Mena Peters.
      she appears like the desperate "I must live abroad" type. .. why not go home and start all over again?
      Smh

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  8. Desperate runs girls shey una dey hear...so sad some will still not learn.

    Best Oracle

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    Replies
    1. You don taya to dey hype yourself? Broke ass binsh!

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    2. Must you comment on all posts?

      #GetALife

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  9. Eyaa so pathetic...u will scale tru d hurdles. But not all diaspora guys r lyk dat

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  10. You lost me at 'Nigerian women,please appreciate the man you see in Nigeria.all these obodo-oyibo guys are worse than the devil himself.'...........you are wrong...If a man is good, then he is good....it doesn't matter where on earth he is....you were unlucky and unfortunate.....and may I add...very naive...

    #1 - You paid for wedding all by yourself..
    #2 - You CHOSE to marry a man who couldn't guarantee your security as a woman..
    #3 - You left for a country WITHOUT securing yourself financially knowing FULLY WELL that he couldn't guarantee your security.
    #4 - You CHOSE to seek asylum INSTEAD of going back to your country to stabilize yourself and take care of your baby.
    #5 - You still post photos on facebook to project a type of life that you DO NOT have.


    Now...do you think you are in a position to advise anyone on this planet?? Have you taken a look at your choices??......Yeah....not until you do that...you are not in a position to give any kinda advice.....Men in Nigeria or Men in Bermuda ----if a man is good, then he is good --- if a man is bad then he is bad and in your case...you got you the latter... NEXT

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    1. Eniesha double like, in short tripple like sef, u took d words out of my "belly" she is not in any way to advise plus good is good, bad is bad, it does not matter from where. Ow can u pay for d goddamn wedding all by urself. Hian!

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    2. And u dis girl dt use to abuse SDK on Niyi's blog, saying all sort of shit abt her wen he steals her pics,, u r no living here bah.where is dt Ur Godforsaken Niyi sef,e don tire to tiff?back to d matter. Who died n resurrected and made u judge? If u don't hav anytin nice to say y not shut it?

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    3. Am in agreement wit all ur points except no3.
      The ans to no2 is she married the guy too quickly.
      A rltionshp based on fone calls is not enuf to know a man.

      For no3 its not possible to financially secure onesef in a place u are about to start ur life. So u aint being reasonable here.

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    4. Dang Erneisha, You got it spot on!. Life most times deals us based in the choices we make, in this case it was clear from the get go that you were on a one chance ride, and you claim you fell in love, he called your 100 times a day. Abeg abeg abeg Lovu gbakwa oku!

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    5. What I deduced from her write up is that she is broke and needs SDK to come to her aid. Your Ex didn't put a gun to your head. You paid for your wedding and it baffles me that YOU also paid YOUR BRIDE PRICE.

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    6. Shut up your dirty mouth. Asylum seekers do get some weekly allowance In Europe.

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    7. Excellent! Infact u dontalk finish...

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    8. A bad man is a bad man, be it in Russia, Canada or Ethiopia. I moved abroad for masters and got married in 6 months to a very good man. Meanwhile I had lived in Nigeria for over 20 years and hadn't met any man I could consider dating and I simply refused to date. When I was leaving, my friends were worried cos they said people leave abroad to come back to Nigeria to get married, I told them that God is the owner of this world and as His child, I didn't believe in lack but in abundance. I was open to dating as race and all that didn't matter to me, the only thing I wasn't going to compromise was my faith. He had to be a christian! The best decision I made in my life was going abroad bcos I married the man of my dreams who adores me. We should just try to shine our eyes and carry God along in all our decisions. Paying for ur wedding was a red flag, it sounds desperate to me.

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    9. This time around, I agree with you Tibs.
      Why leave such a good job?
      Paid for EVERYTHING in your trad? Adonbilivit! He is so wicked! This was obviously a RED FLAG! You ignored for reasons best known to you!
      Instead of you to live a low profile, you are on FB, giving a false impression to people!
      I don't want to sound insensitive to your philght but don't you have other siblings to help out? You are giving away the social welfare instead of saving more for raining days, you think Germany is not monitoring your activities? German govt is carrying you on their shoulder, and you are carrying your people on your own shoulder, who is bearing the weight?
      Best of luck.

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    10. You made sense today. Keep it up otherwise...

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  11. Abegi. It's not the same for everyone. If you meet a good guy and he has a good job, why not marry him. How can a flight attendant give up her career for a man? Abegi! You self talk truth! You painted the story to your favour! A man who tells you to fund your wedding is a no-no. Don't tell me you didn't see the red light. He told you he was broke but you still married him, it's not anyone's fault but yours. There are good obodo husbands-to-be out there, that you got a bad one isn't a criteria to measure all.

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    Replies
    1. JayEm,I agree wit u buh u know a criminal is a criminal...d way dey wil go about it eh,u won't even know u are being scammed...dey wil xome up with authentic stories about how deir money can't cross naija or how deir money have double clauses and use big big words wey u sef no go understand.
      Dem fit even dey make "business" cAlls to unknown " bank branch managers" because of deir "tied money"
      And in d end,u sef wil wanna bail him out
      Hahahha
      And don't forget d woman was in love too
      Ana emenu...

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    2. GW, their money can't cross where??? Then my legs can't cross there either! Oh no honey, we will keep dating until his uncrossable funds finally cross over! Plus our so called dating would be subject to the fact that you don't ask me for a dime, same way I wouldn't ask you either. The truth is the guy saw through her eagerness to get married and took advantage of her. So sorry my love, you can always start again. Wiser and better the 2nd time around. #e-bearhugs.

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  12. Obodo oyibo husband is not easy o, my own is not even bad at all yet it is not beans . How much more u marry the wahala ones. I had to sacrifice my good job and life in nigeria. But thank God im gradually getting my feet. It is definitely not a bed of roses as most girls think. Only those here wld understand

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  13. To y'all saying I must marry americana sey una don hear now, u beta still dey manage that low life guy 4 now

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  14. Pay for my own wedding?!!!
    Like Tonto wld say "m mad outta ma head"!!! Impossible + cannot!
    That was the one and only sign to borrow Bolt's legs and run!

    Thank God for your life.

    I trust Stella and her "nice" lunch.
    She will nicely bless you.

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    Replies
    1. LMAO! M mad outta my head indeed. Dude could even throw it at you later on that "he didn't marry you"! I weak

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  15. Yes o next u will better to hide ur puree. Pls women allow the men to be while u d woman. When u taken over his responsibility how do u want him to see u as a lady? Poster Na u marry urself biko. Take care poster. May God visit ur case soon.

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  16. Pepper is that you? Sorry oooo

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    Replies
    1. hian, pepper ke?
      my own pepper?
      it can't be, ntoii

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    2. Anonymous pepper kwa? Kwakwakwakawa! I laugh in guinea fowl voice! Na only pepper dey diaspora? You never hear say ose oku na ononaenyi! She seats on elephants! Go and ask Dr Agwoturumbe the meaning of Ononaenyi! And you Dr Van bay why are commenting under anonymous?

      My own Swerve nne ke iji?

      Pepper ose oku!

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    3. No way! Pepper's Egyptian neck carries a Nigerian head loaded with wisdom besides, with all her chieftancy titles affixed to her name, no broke dude would dare cross her path. LMAO!

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    4. Anon 1:24pm. Your head dey there... yes it's pepper. don't mind d idiot! She will just come here and be making yeye mouth,whereas she's so poor and starving... even her smelly pussy can't help d matter. omo gutter. That's why are neck is so loong due to her condition

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    5. Rotten pussy! You are a foooooool! Who is the poor one here me or you? you dry ass! Common ashawo with no boundary you and your ghost mentor are the idiots we are talking about here! Keep Pussy like pacific ocean! Omo sewage! Awon ole omojatijati! Oloriburuku! Infact, you are an impecunious! impoverished! Penniless! Straitened! Indigent! destitute! Poverty-stricken somborri! Anumanu! Genau!

      Pepper ose ukpo!

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  17. Hmmmm... this is indeed a lesson oo.. I have never been freaked by these obodo-oyibo marriages sef. Although some still turn out to be good anyway. We ladies need to shine our eyes well ooo... OKPORLOR NO BE OPEN EYE OOO my people... Talking about the aspect of paying for one's marriage;; na wa ooo...#lipssealed. Make desperation no push person enter the one wey e no fit come out oo..thank God you are still alive to tell the story & the govt has taken responsibility for you n son . As it is with men, so it is with women abroad too.. Wolves in sheep clothing everywhere oo.. God have mercy.

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  18. Eyaaa..
    There are still some good guys in obodo oyibo..
    How can you even pay for your traditional marriage?girls will never learn...
    Girls shine your eyes ohh,there are thousands of men out there looking for a fine,well to do girls they will deceive...

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  19. Shior. Na today? This advice you are now giving, I'm sure you heard it before but you still went ahead with your nonsense arrangement. I'm sure some others will still follow your footsteps even after reading this. I wish you well especially your poor boy. Take care of him well.

    But you were desperate sha! Paying for your traditional wedding. Can't deal.

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  20. Wow. Hope shez learnt her lesson

    pls visit my shoe blog

    www.glowysofiscated.blogspot.com

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  21. Na today nyash dey dey for back?
    My dear the Lord is your strength & I pray that His will be done in your case.
    Who doesn't know how dicey & dangerous diaspora marriages are? You marry the man here in Nigeria, leave your cushy job + the perks, leave your comfort zone + people you can run to if wahala starts & you relocate to jand. Then you find out that the man you married is squatting with 7 other guys in a small stuffy 2 bedroom apartment (yup this happened to my neighbor. she came back 3 years later after she couldn't take the abuse & stress again. You find out his violent side (most broke guys are abusive in nature).
    Its risky oh! but the good guys are still out there. My advice is not to burn all your bridges in Nigeria before you travel. Use your honeymoon leave & go check things out for yourself.

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    Replies
    1. like serzly, broke ass niggas are so abusive.

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    2. Swerve just like he abused u and broke ur ribs

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  22. Sorry dear. .it is well. ..na wa o..mk I shine my eyes wella..boo provider, give me a responsible sweet boo to cmplmnt me now..

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  23. STELLA I GOT A MAIL FROM SEAMAN CALYPSO TELLING ME THAT I WON BUT I SHULD LIKE THEIR FACEBOOK PAGE Y DIDNT THEY MAIL THE VOUCHER ?

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    Replies
    1. As in am weak!
      Dats y free tins dey always tire me.
      The rules are not always as simple as it appears.

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    2. As in am weak!
      Dats y free tins dey always tire me.
      The rules are not always as simple as it appears.

      Delete
  24. Nawa! All these obodo oyibo men are jst not it! Gd advice @learn how to hide ur purse. Men of these days hv absolutely no shame! Imagine asking a woman to pay for her wedding. God I bind such men in my life. Whethr I hv mistakenly jammed them in rshps or not, I shall never hv such as a husband, Amen! I patiently await my own God given man cos I cannot shout for matters like this.

    Dear poster, d Lord is ur strength. But if I hear dt u didn't purposely take IN (evn when d abuse startd, u'll knw u re a big liar)! Anywy, it's still gd u gained pikin outta d whole bruhahaa...

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  25. Aaaww na wa oo! The Lord is ur strength! There are loads of evil people on this earth o! Chai! Evil in different forms.. it is well

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  26. STELLA I GOT A MAIL FROM SEAMAN CALYPSO TELLING ME THAT I WON BUT I SHULD LIKE THEIR FACEBOOK PAGE Y DIDNT THEY MAIL THE VOUCHER ?

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    Replies
    1. Stella has heard. Forward this message to the right people

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    2. E don do naaaa, abi make Stella help u to like the page?

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  27. Abi na stella dey d story ni? u stay at germany na lol na joke o biko come easy on me. i dey beg hahaha

    @post sorry for all the stress u went thru. there are still good and responsible men in obodo land like me. Just as there are gud and bad men in naija too.



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  28. So sorry dear, i don't know why some guys behave the way they do. i usually feel for women that marry themselves through sweet mouth, it can happen to anyone, and after everything the guy usually turns into a monster! the only thing i can say is, women "shine ya eyes!" #One Love#

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    1. Madam kool blend how r u?Oga Mike nko n d kids,tried 2 access ur blog bt it seems I need permission to

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    2. Kool.blend, u don.shine ur eye fnsh??, u r advising som1 to shine eye, shine ur own eye 1st hmmmm

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  29. You really were desperate to travel abroad which was why "you married yourself" #in stella's voice# I've met many fraudulent guys claiming to live abroad but I still thank God for my kind of person!! Eveb one of them ending up defrauding my friend.. Anyways, just take care of yourself and your cute son... #Pele..Ndoo..#

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  30. Nawa oooo all this kindahh stories that touch tho,may the good Lord have mercy.but how can some men be this wicked? With no single milk of kidness in them? Eh? Abi no be woman born dem?

    *Sweetness*

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  31. Ha!
    Where do some monsters crawl out from?
    Dese men didn't dey at least attend Cathechism wen dey were small?
    Cos m sure dey don't go to church
    If dey attended Catechism small
    Dey wil have small fear of GoD
    Poster ,sorry dear.
    It's well!
    Thank GoD u pulled through
    Lol
    And u won baby!

    Yeah u won!

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    Replies
    1. But on the real tho, she saw this coming.
      A guy asked u to pay for ur own marriage and u said yes, wtf kinda marriage is dt?

      Delete
    2. Lmao@ catechism !!!! Re u sure ,it will change them?! Wen catechism tells them ,theres is big and small sin and purgatory join!! Maybe, those ones they r doing r small sins in their eyes o!! GW, I hail oh!!!

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  32. And what dafuq are you still doing there? Is Nigeria that bad that you would prefer to depend on people in a strange land? You better beg them to send you back to naija.
    Tufia! What women do to get silly complements. And you will be posting pictures on Facebook to deceive people

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    Replies
    1. She enjoys the state money...trust me..she does

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  33. Hmmm..sorry abt ds dear poster.am not married yt but i gt put off by all this 'am based abroad...' blah blah.MY TAKE IS;ALWAYS PRAY BEFORE YOU MAKE UR CHOICES;ESP:MARRIAGE:HOLD ON DEAR!!!

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  34. Stella dis ur schnapp pple re wahala pple, I swear! Y can't they jst send d card to inbox? Redirectn us to fb to like n send mail thr. Wt'f those dt dnt use fb? If they dnt wnt to give us card, they suld say. I don go open new fb acct, yet nthng.

    Not like I dnt appreciate o. Y make d whole thing unnecessarily stressful?

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  35. #Sighz# All hope iz not lost, God iz ya strength Sweedy!

    *Ify'm*

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  36. Hmmm..sorry abt ds dear poster.am not married yt but i gt put off by all this 'am based abroad...' blah blah.MY TAKE IS;ALWAYS PRAY BEFORE YOU MAKE UR CHOICES;ESP:MARRIAGE:HOLD ON DEAR!!!

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  37. Pls there is nothing to learn from this story..... A lot of women have equally joined husbands abroad and are doing well..... A lot of men in naija do the same thing...... If any man tells u he has no money for wedding 4 get him, the poster was the one who was desperate here.... No matter how small a man must contribute to his wedding

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    1. Thank you anon 1:44pm.i know at least 3 of my gfs that joined their husbands in the US, they are all doing fine.I joined my husband too here in the states and sincerely he's the best hubby any lady can hope and pray 4.the problem is that the poster paid for everything and was desperate. The poster did u pray, seek God's face?did u investigate him in Germany and his family back home?I know it's not easy to be in another man's country but with God everything will be okay.just take care of yourself and son.next time be extremely careful.
      Adaora

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    2. U are one of those that made great sense here. Ppl never marry to impress anyone, my boo lives in germany bla bla bla all na wash, crying and suffering. If their is any good man in Nigeria, their is still nice ones abroad even plenty sef. N I add again if u wan marry any man or woman, consult God to know if he or she is trully urs. Finally, no sane lady born of a woman should pay for her bride price or wotever, its total abomination.

      Delete
  38. Igba nri na ofe! *inchinwetaluagusvoice

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  39. Women go through a lot but I know we are strong enough for every stage we get to and at the end, we always come out victorious.
    This story of obodoyibo marriage gone wrong is so sad.
    I have a friend with a slimier experience. She met a Germany based guy here in Africa and fell in love with him and after 4years of his going and coming, they got married and had a daughter in their 1st year of marriage. 4 years later he accused the young girl of cheating and used force to take his daughter to Germany to live with him and her cousins(his elder brothers sons).
    Fast forward to another 4 years, he said he had forgiven his "wife" and asked her to come over to Germany which she did. Na when the wife reach Germany wey she know the satan wey she marry.
    Many things came to the fore. She discovered that he was married and that the so called nephews are his own sons. He lives in the same building with his wife who according to him, is no longer interested in the marriage(big lie). He went ahead to rent an apartment for my friend where she stays alone and he comes to visit her when ever he pleases just to make love to her. At times he could be gone for over 2 weeks and resurface without any explanation. He got her a job and after 6months, she started paying her rent herself. He has all her passwords and sometimes resets them without telling her. He hacked her phone too. She doesn't know where he lives and he only brings their daughter(whom he has brainwahsed) to visit once in a while. He spends from her credit card and beats the girl mercilessly if she tries to refuse anything he says. She got pregnant and lost the baby after a medical visit to the hospital.
    Now the man has sued the hospital with her name thereby traping her so that she can't run away.
    She doesn't have a say in any area of her life. He also took away her certificates and when she tried to fight back, he locked her out of the house with few of her things.
    She left and for sometime, was incommunicado.
    Now she's depressed. I feel so sad for her because she's lost almost everything in life.
    We have told her to forget the man and move on but she's yet to get her self back and try to make up her mind.
    Cases like these just make you wonder if such men were raised by beasts.
    May God help us all, amen.

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    Replies
    1. I'm truly sorry about your friend's predicament but do you realise most "beastly" men get away with treating some women that way because the women let them? I had to do a double take at the part where he surfaced out of the blues 4years after accusing her of cheating and taking their daughter away from her. So what was she doing with her life during those 4years that she could readily take him back just like that? And her family sat back to watch? 1st thing 1st, he should have cleared the wrong name he gave her and be put on probation for at least a year or two. Personally I wouldn't take such an ass back. Like Maya Angelou(God rest her soul) said "when a person shows you who they are the 1st time, believe them" people RARELY change.

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    2. Hmmm....
      She is yet to make up her mind to leave d man?
      Gorgeous Miss,abeg lets know where dem bury her wen she dies...Germany or Naija

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    3. Abia! The woman na orphan? Abi she no get family?Na so!Which kin swear be dat?

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    4. Some men are also suffering...and this is coming from a woman. I know one nigerian woman whose husband is in nigeria..Woman got pregnant by another manin Germany...She went to nigeria as soon as she found out, and gave the pregnancy to the man in niaja lol...She came back after, gave birth, and living with her bf in germany....For he husband mind..da baby na he own oooo...My point is, bad people are bad people. Man or woman

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  40. There are loads of women that do this, they call stand by your man. Some men pay back, some don't. It's not always monetary as well, it could be they help them secure a job that later made the man a big man in society or even help secure contract. Like I said some will appreciate some won't. Marring abroad has pros and cons, same as home. The difference abroad is you WILL get help from government while at home you will die from beating and if you live you will be tagged "Divorcee".

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    Replies
    1. Jesus is lord
      The man is a demon from the pit of hell. Were do dis type of men crawl out from.
      I hve to strt doing midnight for my remaining 2small sisters,so dat God will bless dem wit a good and caring man.
      Some stories I read on this blog makes me scared. Some men wicked o. #true#

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  41. Dear poster, am sorry about what u r going through. U shld have seen the red flag when he told u to pay for ur traditional marriage rites. That should have told u that the man can not take care of a family. I pray that God alleviates ur suffering.

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  42. So sad poster,thank you Stella becos l know you will find a way to ease her pain after the lunch. To all those advertising their nakedness on social media to attract"obodo oyibo men" #look before you leap..

    Healing-rain

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  43. God punish that man who would ask me to pay for my marriage and later he would refund the money. Come on gurl, you should have known better. Even if i have to support my wedding, no way i would spend more than the guy marrying me...haba! if a man isn't ready to pay, then don't propose.... VERY SIMPLE

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  44. Ehayaaaaaaa sorry dear, take heart it will be well

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  45. Hahahabbababa madam stellina dat was epic reply I swear, u are too funny chai @u married ur self! well that's d bitter truth. ....madam thank God say na Germany if to say na spain u dey ur pain for don pass dis one lolz ........naija babes wey dey run follow akata hope una don hear....

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  46. Using ur fund for a man and later beating u. He is cursed man and he will reap what he sow. Life is a lesson itself. i learnt mine too.

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  47. And based on your experience with one good for nothing guy, u generalize about all guys living abroad?

    It shows how u reason. I don't mean to be insulting but you married urself.

    Abeg enough of all these sob stories. You made a mistake, dust up and move on.

    If u r in my business, u will know EVERYONE has problems

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  48. Wow! Not all that glitters is gold. Anyway this advice is for girls that are saddled with anya ukwu cz I know first hand what most peeps go through over there. Peeps be thinking their streets are paved with gold. They will go to primark and shop and come back to nig, you with your anya ukwu will be looking for the next man that will tell you he stays abroad to go and gum his body, thinking that's how life is. Lol!! My people shine una eyes oh! Dearest poster, sorry about all your going through

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    Replies
    1. What's wrong in shopping at primark? Typical timid mind set! Everyone here in the UK, rich and poor shop there, their clothing materials not that great but some products are better than top high street shops, towels for example. You are no where better than people that shop @ primark!!

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    2. What's wrong wrong with Primark stuff?don't get me started please

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  49. Paying for your own traditional wedding was a bad sign. Thank God you are safe now. This is One of the disadvantages of distance relationship. ..I don't believe that all obodo oyinbo husband are like that. Most guys here and scared of bringing their wives over because they believe ones they get here dem go open eye and start controlling them.which isn't always true.

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  50. Hmmm,na wa o.May God direct our path.

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  51. Oh dear, I can feel your pain - I know exactly what you are going through. Let this serve as a warning to those girls looking for a man in obodo oyibo. In my opinion, they should make do with the ones in Nigeria. The ones in Nigeria are actually better than the obodo oyibo ones - not to say, that there are not good men in obodo oyibo. Just use wisdom as it applies!

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    Replies
    1. Yours truly what do u know?that the ones in Naija are better?u better go and educate yourself and then come back to comment.

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  52. The truth is most ladies in that country called Nigeria are bloody opportunist! All that glitters is not gold. Una long throat three much!

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  53. Na real she married herself o. How do u want a man who never stressed his head to pay for his marriage to behave. Ure free food n Dats all ull be. Infact ure lucky he didn't turn u to bread winner. He would have made u slave for him, his family n loved ones till ur eyes clear.
    All this kind story sef. U make it sound as if as air hostess u earn 1m naira. Mtcheew.

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  54. Pathetic, what a sad story.
    ..but the red light you should have seen was when he asked u to pay for the marriage expenses, that was the number 1 sign, that was when you shud have dead the issue.
    Pls men, don't hide ur financial status from ur woman. If e no too dey, let her know say na management tinz o. don't claim what u are not cos she fit still leave u finally.
    Anyway, not all husbands in the diaspora are as evil as this one. Some are responsible and doing well but majority are full of igbe.....

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    Replies
    1. Ugliest on sdk blog. Even a barrow pusher will reject u. Tufiyakwa!

      Delete
    2. Who is dx mgbeke feeling funky?

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    3. Its pathetic how classless ladies define beauty as nakedness. Idiot

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    4. And this one's prayer point will be lord bless me with a good man right? Pig

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    5. Anonymous with a minute apart timelines, are all these vile words necessary? Why call Swerve a pig? You allowed anger control you that couldn't dedicate one out of the four "colourful" remarks to the main issue. When you've calmed down, please read all you've written, hopefully you'll realise how unnecessary your comments were/are.

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  55. Okay, memo to women looking for Nigerian men in diaspora..una don hear am so.
    Stella...abeg we looking for foreign men still dey wait u for the hooking up.

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  56. This story is just funny, anyway u didnt tell us how long u guys dated or hw much u spend time togeda, u were just toooo desperate to marry someone in obodo oyinbo..
    Naija gals like abroad people, like say all of them wey dey there get money, they dont see it as distance relationship...
    Anyway, May God help you, you have learnt your lessons.
    You even have to pay for the wedding, i mean foot the bill not even split here, u should know that he's not even ready for the commitment or value it, if not he would have even squeezed to pay at least 30-40% of it, if men say ladies have fish brain, dem go dey vex, some ladies go come make mouth for here and dem don fall maga pass this one.
    In your next world, you will love to be patient and look with binocular before u leap.This story is just funny, anyway u didnt tell us how long u guys dated or hw much u spend time togeda, u were just toooo desperate to marry someone in obodo oyinbo..
    Naija gals like abroad people, like say all of them wey dey there get money, they dont see it as distance relationship...
    Anyway, May God help you, you have learnt your lessons.
    You even have to pay for the wedding, i mean foot the bill not even split here, u should know that he's not even ready for the commitment or value it, if not he would have even squeezed to pay at least 30-40% of it, if men say ladies have fish brain, dem go dey vex, some ladies go come make mouth for here and dem don fall maga pass this one.
    In your next world, you will love to be patient and look with binocular before u leap.

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  57. Na wah,those looking for abroad husband,better shine your eyes,many are fake as hell

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  58. Thank God am nt crazy abt Obodo oyibo hubby!!!

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  59. God-bless you Erniesha Tibs...very intelligent comment, said it all!

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  60. Unless you are married to the guy, don't pay for flight ticket, don't lend him money and don't pay for bride price.
    Any man that ask for money during courtship, that's a red flag (show him to the door-to the left bro).

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  61. My dear sister I can't see what u are complaining about. You married ur man . A man is based abroad u are the one paying for the wedding ceremony. You no get tradition. What were u expecting to see einer sehr schone Wohnung mit Gold. Pls that is ur personally experience. You were careless. My husband brought me here too we are happy. So dont tag aboardmen. How long did u court? Where u carried away by aboard?. With ur so called career life. Abeg take a chill pill. And face the problem in ur marriage.

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  62. I have never posted a comment but this generalisation got me mad.
    This lady paid for her own wedding, travelled to an unknown territory without verifying what was waiting for her, continues to post Facebook pictures to deceive others and she has the guts to 'advice' others?

    Please dont taint all men living abroad because of your ignorance.

    I came over to meet my husband over 20 years ago and I have no complaints. I work because I want to not because I have to.

    Girls, be wise.

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  63. Why would a woman single handedly pay for her wedding? Your story is another good reason why people must look before they leap. It does not matter if you are marrying someone in Nigeria or abroad. It is not as if we do not hear stories of abusive spouses in Nigeria where there is also no recourse to social justice.

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  64. Poster is just a foolish woman
    How can you marry yourself???
    You sound dumb and you are just an opportunist.
    Keep your lame advice to yourself cos you got served.

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  65. so because you landed with a sorry ass man because of your greed and desperation, you are giving ill advice. ok let me tell you, my sister got married to a man out of desperation in Nigeria and her story is the same with yours. you are the cause of your misfortune girlfriend. pray hard...shine your eyes harder ! how can you pay for your traditional marriage #yuck#damn# even if you marry from your village, family or whatever....you can still land with a selfish,broke,angry and frustrated man.#NotMyBusinessTho#

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  66. ahhhh! you were too in a hurry oooo!

    1st sign...he asked you to pay for the wedding and you did????. truly u married yourself.

    Thank God for the strength HE bestowed in you.
    you will get back on your feet.keep staying strong for your son

    Wey that girl wey de find oyibo husband? shebi you de hear?

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  67. Be strong darling and hold on to God. He will never leave you nor forsake you. You've made your mistakes now is the time for you to rise above your mistakes. Start a new life, Bury the past and move forward, dont look back.... Keep moving ok? You are going somewnere...
    One love.

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  68. Dear Poster, from all indictIons, you are so wrong, you dint find out what exactly your spouse was doing in Germany or how he pays his bills, you dint ask what kinda documents he has before inviting you over, so pls, don't conclude by saying all men in diaspora are bad, Yours is bad, mine was so plain to me from the on set so I knew what I was getting myself into, I won't be stupid enough to pay for my wedding, jeezzzz, how desperate can one be? If he wants to marry you, he should have enough cash to do so, if he doesn't, then sorry, no wedding. My relationship with hubby was plain and simple, we did the court, traditional & white b4 I relocated to join him in Italy, & with the court cert. I applied for a family reunion visa so it was so easy to get my documents when I arrived here, and no issues, so we ladies, we have to be wise when getting into such relationships, be informed, know the kinda visa you need to travel with so you don't get stranded when it expires, my documents & that of my hubby doesn't need renewal, find out these things b4 u claim Obodo oyibo hubby abeg. So dear poster, I blame this on you 100%, you weren't smart at all.

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    Replies
    1. Look at you, she's in Germany and you are comparing Italy that is tagged as Ashewo country to Germany . I beg go and sit down with your Italian paper's .

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    2. @Kelly, pls what do one need to know abt a visa? I am jst scared wit dis story. Hv a guy dat stays in Sweden, though I hv nt met him in person bt we agreed that everything will be wen he cums dwn to Nija... I also wants to knw why this abroad guys talks abt sex al d tym? am afraid for myself,dis guy talks abt sex as if it is food...wat if I dnt giv him d sex wen he cums bac Afta giving him hope, hp it will nt backfire??

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    3. E go backfire o....I dey tell you honestly....my own experience....I did not give my hubby anything o.... He saw I was decent, came back and married me....today, I am a full britico citizen.....DONT GIVE IN....he is testing you, be strong.....if he is urs, he will stay....if he does not stay, then he is not urs.

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    4. @Anons 9.18 pm thank you. I will zip up!!!

      Delete
  69. Poster I honestly feel for u,God will see u tru.
    Wait o,y wld u pay for ur traditional wedding,were u dat desperate or do u trust easily? I detest beggi beggi men. Even in marriage,hubby doesn't ask,I just do sometins on my own willingly,sometimes he gets angry nd tells me not to bother. My trad nd white wedding he no see my one kobo,shi shi nini Chigo no drop.
    Thank God u hve learnt ur lesson,I honestly don't fancy guys who live abroad,there re ways are "the more u look d less u see".

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  70. Lol @Erniesha Tibs nice one. Don't mind the lady she saw the hand writing on the wall but choose to look other way. I am sure she was desperate to travel to Germany thinking all will be well until it failed on her. What ever happens to you with your ex man in Germany can as well happen to you with any man in Nigeria so please save us talk. How can a grown ass woman pay for a man's wedding thats failed marriage before start very bad. Madam go back to Nigeria if Germany is not good for you, you most not take up asylum,your son will not get his paper because his father do not have any that your journey of staying back is probability.

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    Replies
    1. With God all things are possible. Why being negative that her son won't be legalize in Germany.

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    2. No ,she should stay and endure for the sake of her son,eventually,her papers will be okay.,its tough but going back to Nigeria shouldn't be an option

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  71. Sorry poster d lord is ur strenght.

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  72. Yeah. They are plenty of them oooo.

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  73. Poster I honestly feel for u,God will see u tru.
    Wait o,y wld u pay for ur traditional wedding,were u dat desperate or do u trust easily? I detest beggi beggi men. Even in marriage,hubby doesn't ask,I just do sometins on my own willingly,sometimes he gets angry nd tells me not to bother. My trad nd white wedding he no see my one kobo,shi shi nini Chigo no drop.
    Thank God u hve learnt ur lesson,I honestly don't fancy guys who live abroad,there re ways are "the more u look d less u see".

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  74. Sweet heart my heart goes out to u n ur boy right now....sheit happens u know?
    The money u paid on his head, I'm talking bout d GROOM PRICE.
    Wat's ur plan towards dat? Abi u no wan collect n move on

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  75. My dear,

    Sorry o. Here are some points:
    - Why did you not do a court wedding? If this man was in Germany legally, you would have been entitled to a spouse visa, and you would not have ended up in an asylum. So I believe he was in Germany illegally and all you had was one of those 6 month or 2 year Schengen visas - please correct me if I am wrong.

    - You paid for the wedding out of your own pocket after the man told you he had problems. Hmmm....while in an ideal world, we would all applaud you for you altruism, but based on the fact that we do not live in an ideal world, I have to tell you that you used your own hand to 'do yourself' Besides,any man who ALLOWS a woman to pay for the wedding is not only unserious, but is not ready for marriage (notice I said not ready for marriage instead of not ready to marry - anyone of age can go ahead and marry, but not everyone is ready for marriage)
    - You got pregnant, even after you found out the guy's character. What happened to birth control. Why have a baby for such a person?
    - What are you doing in Germany? Are you learning the language? What is your plan B in case they decline to grant you asylum?
    - Lastly, I hope lessons were learnt from all that happened, because I know from experience and from observing others that history has a funny way of repeating itself.

    - Lasgidi girl

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  76. Let's not get it twisted, there are loads of proper men abroad too. You just got a bad one BV. Perhaps u were desperate. Hopefully you get ur papers.

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  77. okay then, Noted!!!! No more interaction from abroad based guys for me#StrictlyNaijaBasedGuyz...err In btw *did you really pay for your own wedding* Chai??

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  78. Paid for your own traditional wedding,, and you tot you were going to paradise

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  79. You should have told your husband to go to any IOM office in Germany and explain his story, instead of facing deportation ,he will be sent back to Nigeria with some money to start up a business.



    Could this be pepper ose oku cos i kn you live in germany?

    Sorry darling for all you went through.


    xoxo mystery

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  80. Stella you swallow my comment on that useless girl called Yetunde Omolara Ogunleye. That wants to die on her grandfathers age mate. Going through a divorce becuase of what has has caused.

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    Replies
    1. Darling please calm down, whatever it is or whoever is responsible, don't let it overwhelm you. Who is yours can never be taken away permanently. Please don't allow any human being get you to the point of throwing caution into the wind. I don't know your story but if the lady you mentioned is responsible for whatever pain you're feeling, calling her out on social media isn't going to help, it may even backfire. Instead, my love, take it to the Lord in prayer. #e-bearhugs.

      Delete
  81. Quite funny reading some comments here, so all the people that send heart breaking stories to Stella are Obodo oyinbo husband? The one that was almost stabbed, the one her hubby brought in a second wife cuz she was yet to conceive and many more.Or you think your husband would have treated you differently if you were living in Naija? A bad person is a bad person,period!

    If I were you I will come back to Naija and start afresh, it is not a must you must live in Germany. Btw, abroad husbands in my opinion are even better than Naija husbands especially if you guys are legally eligible to live in the country.They can't beat you or harass you the way Naija men do.The reasonable ones cook, clean, take care of the kids etc.I think you were just caught up in a bad marriage.

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  82. Look woman you stupidly put yourself in trouble. Ladies be warned Do not pity any man and allow them lure you to pay for anything not even ur wedding gown. Rubbish. Don't be stupidly in love and marry yourself to a man. Men are dick heads. It's only an ODE that get carried away with their sorry faces. So many occasions women have helped men what do they get in return- heartbreak, beating,slaps,kicks,betrayal. I can't spend my shi shi on any Buzuru monkey before marriage. Use your money to marry me and we talk about the rest later. Nonsense, see ladies look well before you jump into flashy relationships, I can tell you ladies that though I am not perfect but I use my head in relationship. Use Your head then your heart.BE wise and stop being foolish.

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  83. Such a sad sad story.... I hope this will sound as a huge warning to girls that want to marry a man abroad. Not all that glitters is gold can be shine shine (sequin).

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  84. Oburu juju Oman re. Ogini di ifa. My own money. May d lord help u to recover all.

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  85. There is nothing person no go read in stellablog oo,, you were desperately married a man by Paying for your traditional wedding and the man being truthful with you by telling u early he had no money nd was having a problems which you have comfirmed here urself,you still went ahead to marry him nd joined him to add more problems for an innocent man,nd you foolishly come here online again to rants against him why?this is stella reason for saying men dont come online to rants cos they are bussy cheating,,cos if men open there mouth to talk,they will say de man dont have a respect for a womanhood,we go niaja to spend money not to collect from desperados,,,sorry for ur mistakes,,better go back home now since u got no resident permit,,

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  86. 3-4EUR clothes for Facebook pictures? I stopped feeling sorry for you on reading that! Hunger never wire you reach.

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  87. so nosey, she is to go naked qua.na wa for u.so she should go naked before u know she is struggling.u have a very ugly mind

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  88. ,
    I just finished reading sdks comments.i deserved the backlashing.also thanks for the prayers, love and advices.
    just to let some people know I was not desperate. I was stupidly inlove.and I gave him money because he gave me when he had.things
    we do for love.
    and for those saying I will be deported with my son, I pray u see no evil.God that has seen be thru all these while will continue to fight for me and see me through.i love u all

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    Replies
    1. You will not be deported in Jesus name, thy lord will see you and your son through.Amen

      Delete
  89. ,
    I just finished reading sdks comments.i deserved the backlashing.also thanks for the prayers, love and advices.
    just to let some people know I was not desperate. I was stupidly inlove.and I gave him money because he gave me when he had.things
    we do for love.
    and for those saying I will be deported with my son, I pray u see no evil.God that has seen be thru all these while will continue to fight for me and see me through.i love u all

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  90. Stella's Newest Fan21 August 2014 at 13:54

    Stories that touch! Why don't u come back to 9ja instead of subjecting urself to this asylum shit?

    ReplyDelete
  91. Ah marry urself? How can he value what he did not struggle for

    LOVE ehnnnn na wa for it oh.

    ReplyDelete

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