I hope you have learnt a thing or two since the narratives birthed?...I have and i encourage you to share your stories to help others......share with us.
NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE
TIES THAT BIND LOVE ALL THE WAY TO CANADA.
Stella dear, I am confused and getting depressed. I'll like to get advice from you and my fellow bv's. I am 23 years old, I have been in this relationship with a delta guy for 3 years now. we met when I was quite young. I have been faithful to him, yes, he isn't my husband yet but we are so good together I have no cause to misbehave. The problem is he wants to travel to Canada for masters, we really love each other and letting go is hard for us, especially me. Since he graduated there have been no forthcoming jobs, hence the masters abroad as he has someone willing to sponsor him. Please any advice on how to work it out? I don't mind waiting 2years for him,I am not so old yet and also want to face my job search (I am done with school and NYSC) and masters here in Nigeria, building my life too. But I don't know what to do, I have considered us doing an intro or something to bind us before he leaves but I don't want to feel like am clinging too tight on him. I introduced him to this blog Stella
(miss Mae gate please stay away lol).
I'll like to show him the answers on this post so we can make our decisions. Please bv's don't cuss me out. You know that feeling when you meet a guy and you seem so perfect even after years? We love each other deeply, It's just money and no source of income that stopped us from getting married. I don't know why love gets so complicated.
Ps: he is about 4years older than me. Thanks Mrs Korks.
Whether you do introduction to bind yourselves together or you use rope,what will be will be....I would advise you not to do any introduction,please let him go without ties,if he comes back without a wife/babymama then pop champagne.
............................................................................................................
NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
WHEN GBEGE COMES CALLING.....
Good day, Nwunye Korkus, sending This narrative on behalf of a friend that confided in me....
She got married last year and has a 2month old baby.. Her husband travelled and she bought a new sim card and decided to inform her husband using the line...she called and the husband asked who she was, she mentioned her name and the husband immediately thought it was one of his concubines and started asking if she's still available for him and that he would still love to be servicing her vjayjay, she now asked if he hasn't gotten married all these while and his reply was that he impregnated a useless girl and his family members are forcing her on him
Fast forward to last night, she sent an Sms to him with her regular line saying she loves him though he was in the house, he didn't reply she now asked him why he didnt reply, he said it was because they are both in the same house, She now went to the kitchen to send an sms with the new line, immediately, the husband replied.
This morning, he told her he was travelling and immediately he got outside, he called the other line telling her that he was coming to spend the weekend with her, she asked of his wife, he said he has told the ugly idiot that he is travelling to see his people. He can't even recognize his wifes voice!!!
She has removed the sim from the phone and is clueless about where her husband is.
Sorry for the structure and lenght of the story...not good at story telling. Please what advise would you give my friend??? I really don't know what to tell her.
Your friend isnt telling you the truth,she bought that sim card to test something and i bet you that she changed her voice so that hubby wouldnt recognise her voice.
Now that she has unearthed a can of worms,i hope she will handle it well.
Its even possible that he knows its her sef cos if she didnt say a name then where does he know that he is going to?
Tell your friend i said she should stop playing with fire.
If it is you,please stop right now and confront your hubby in a subtle way
..............................................................................................................
NARRATIVE NUMBER THREE
....WHEN MAMA IS A DRAMA QUEEN
Good day Stella,
My heart is really troubled and it's about my mother. I know most people especially in Nigeria refuse to discuss issues about their mother but I just have
to say it. My mother is a drama queen, there's nothing we do that satisfies her. I can't even give people things cos if she finds out am in trouble, she'll go on and on about how I neglect her, the most painful part is that I can't discuss personal things with her because any day I offend her, she'll use it to insult me. How can a mother use her daughter's ex to insult her. Stella I am tired, even my sister has stopped telling her anything. The day you offend her, she will use everything you told her to abuse you. There are many things that she does Stella that I can't go into right now. It hurts me that I can't tell my mother things for the fear that she'll use it against me. Any time we have issues she starts singing funny songs
(yoruba people will understand what I mean). Stella I am tired,I am just praying to God to give me a good man to marry so I can leave this house. Some times I just wonder if am the only one on earth going through the same thing.
Your mum sounds like she is emotionally sick....when last did you show her love or tell her you love her?Love is the only weapon to disarm parents who go to war with their kids.Please ignore her drama.When you become a mother,you will understand.
Poster 1,
ReplyDeleteAt 23 you want to desperately hook a man...
Please allow the young man to go for his masters and don't put all your eggs in one basket...
Poster 2,
Tell your friend to get her own boyfriend...what is good for the goose is equally good for the gander...
The man is a shameless he goat with no respect for his wife...
Poster3,
Na wah ohh..
Please stop telling her things or better still,leave the house for her...
Some mothers are like that...this your story reminds me of one woman I know way back...
Poster2 : my dear u are looking for fire o....if am your husband, if u confront me I will simply say I knew it was her and was only playin along
DeletePoster 1
DeleteI totally understand your fears. Just calm down, take a deep breath and lay ur fears before God!!! Even if he does intro, whatever will happen will still happen. Even if u follow him there, if he wants to hurt u, he will still do that.
It's only 2yrs!!! Stay connected when he goes. Take everyday as it comes and free urself. Relate with other people (not sex). So that if he messes up, u won't go into semi heart attack.
U sound really excited about ur relationship. I do pray God makes things workout well for u guys cos it is not everyday u come by someone u have such connections with.
All d best*
Poster 2
DeleteUr story sounds fake*
Forgive me if i'm wrong
Poster 3
DeleteBaby girl get a job and move out ...don't wait for a man to come and save you
You might just let that cloud your judgement
Poster 3
DeleteBaby girl get a job and move out ...don't wait for a man to come and save you
You might just let that cloud your judgement
Poster 3
DeleteThere are mothers like ur mum. Truth is, there ain't much u can do.
Keep what's personal; personal! Ignore her behaviour and LIVE...
Also, pointing out her errors to her politely sometimes isn't bad. U don't just swallow all dishes out just because she's ur mama aii?
@poster 1,asking him to do any form of intro isnt that good ooo as per my own opinion after i read your narrative..reason is cos he might go there and find love and you will be here dying of heart-break..
DeleteJust like someone said,you can never test the loyalty of A man when he is "Broke"...Soo just allow him travel and if he comes back clean with no drama going on in his life;only then will you know he trully wants to spend his entire life with you...
Also since you said he isnt working yet,how then do you expect him to gather money to do any form of intro on your behalf before travelling out?? Pls dont push that young man into thinking you are that desperate to get married to him cos most men would hold this as your specific weakness hence they might start misbehaving with other women because they believe all your hopes of getting married are on them soo u just cant do anything....
#all the best to you...
@poster two;i dont get this narrative at some point cos i dont think any man can be that stupid not to know his very wife's name;hence not recognizing her voice whilst they have been talking...
Think about it nau??
Options here are:
1)your friend is either lying or looking for trouble where there is non or
2)her husband is making jest of her with this opportunity his wife just granted him(maybe he is tired of the marriage and looking for A way to tell her since but just did now cos he knows his wife wouldnt taking this easy after he said all this about her)....
May both husband and wife talk this out within themselves and i pray they both find peace...
@narrative 3;most women are like that(ie having loose mouth)...and you dont have to keep telling her everything simply because she is your mother...mind you,there is A limit where every individual needs privacy about whats going on within their life..soo since you now know your mums weakness;why not keep some certain things about you to yourself soo she cant use any of them against you just when she gets angry and looking for stuffs to say....
#Also Talk to her when she is in A very joyous mood and see what she has got to say but i would simply advice you to take what i just wrote above cos people with that attitude are sometimes too hard to change..
#all the best to you...
XTREME MIXTAPE VOL.2;CLICK TO LISTEN/DOWNLOAD
@MARTINS ABOY
Hmmmm good boy. I'm impressed
DeleteI love you Stella D.K. more grease to ur elbow. keep the good work rolling... Ragnar Lodbrok
ReplyDeletePoster 1 No need for the Intro, Remain cool and focus more on your job search.
DeleteWhen Bf returns back with no drama you guys can proceed.
Poster 2 Like stella said the story isn't complete.
Is her Hubby Mad? Going to meet who?
or he is enjoying the game with his wife. Am sure he is aware its his wife doing it, He will put her under serious tension without returning home for some days.
Tell her to stop the joke is expensive thou!!
Poster 3. When you get married you will understand. Continue to pray you marry and leave her.
I have officially declared war with Stella! She has ignored my mails repeatedly. The battle line has been drawn.....just kidding. Stella, pls do the needful.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: hmmm , ur friend must have changed her voice to try and be naughty . Just a shame it backfired lol . I don't know why her hubby would result to calling her names ...
DeleteCould it be he knows it's her ...but even at that he's so uncouth . And I don't even know what to advise . Well why don't you come clean? Talk about it ,And finally tell him you wouldn't tolerate his cheating ways ...
Poster 3: we all have stories about our mothers and the way they act when they are angry .stop telling her deep stuff . Am a private person and keep mine to myself . My mom has never known any of my boyfriends lol talk less of sitting to gist her about them, when it's time for introduction she will though and that's it .
Also try to get closer to her, and then talk to her about her ways when everything is calm . When you both come together for prayers, pray about her attitude . In her presence ask God to heal her and let his holyspirit dwell in her.
Finally tolerate ,don't rush into a marriage,what if ur Future MIL(mother in law) is like that ?
Good luck !
Poster 2 that your story is not true, it sounds so cook-up. Are you sure you didn't fornulate the story and send to Stella out of boredom???
ReplyDelete'Formulate, cooked up'
DeleteTypo error I guess
Thank u jare. Faker than fake sef. She said she put in a new aim card and when the man asked who she was, she gave him her name, yet he didn't know it was his wife? Which name? Abeg u no try with this gist o.
DeletePoster1 No intro for now,allow him to wander and explore the world,if he comes back for you,then u guys are good to go,with no babymama issh ofcourse,but for the mean time focus on getting a job ist.#luck
ReplyDeletePoster2 your story get as e be ooo
Poster3.Ndo,some Mothers are like that but your own mum is definitely overdoing it. Overlook her,get busy or sometin,if possible leave the house and go stay with a relative or friend.Pop in once in a while to come see her and go back..Its well!!!
Stella, u re gifted wit WISDOM. Shld I envy U? I admire u a lot n I wish I'm like u most times. Back to posters, plz adhere to Stella's advice. #1 no commtment 4 now, let time decide what happen next#3 I understand ur plight, leave ur mum n concentrate on settln down, by d time u invisit her 4 omugwu @ baby's arrival, evrytin wil turn arnd in btw pray 4 her n be a good girl,# I dnt believe ur story at all!
ReplyDeletePoster 1. Don't commit yourself to problems,allow that young man to decide his future. At your age you're so desperate for marriage smh.... keep calm and let God do his work.
ReplyDeletePoster 2. The devil practically used you to play a hopeless scene in your marriage,i hope you have learned a lesson.
Poster 3. I pray for divine intervention in the life of your mother.
Poster 2. how can a husband not know his wife's voice? Am sure he knows she is playing a game and he decided to play along.
ReplyDeleteShe better tell him everything. And listen to what he has to say.
Poster 1. You are so young and ur life is just starting . let him go and he will be back if he is God's plan for you.
Poster 3. Pray for your mum and reciprocate every hurtful words with love. No matter what she will always be mum
Stella for the first time I agree with u in all the narratives.
ReplyDeleteWalahi! Esp the 3rd one. That's stellar advice Stella!
DeletePoster 3, let me ask u 1st, is she a widow? If yes don't mind her drama just show her love and come close to her, this is just her protecting her loved once and trying not to loss any one again and then put her in prayers.
ReplyDeletePoster 1, pls pls and pls don't tie any nod with him oh!!! If he is yours you guys will be in touch till the end and also God must always make a way for the both of u.
Poster1.don't loose hope he might come back for u.how is he coming to Canada student visa?or what so ever!!just be prayerfull.you are still young so don't put your egg on one basket only. Poster 2.So her hubby could not recognize his wife's voice.the story sound some how though. Poster3.mother treating her own child this way!!she most be a bully
ReplyDeleteI pity u @poster 1.....so if dat guy no marry u na die???
ReplyDeleteSmtcheeeeerwwww!!!
U better let him go freely...if he's yours, he will come back ND wife u...
ND please stop putting all ur eggs in one basket cos women are always at d receiving end....
Use ur head oooon not ur heart!!!!
LADY IGO TO POSTER 2: WOMAN WITH THE CHEATING HUSBAND
ReplyDeleteLOVE CONQUERS ALL
Usually, the family at the verge of disintegration gets my attention most. The Lord will put in everything to preserve a family. Take this steps lady:
1. Fast and pray (even a fruit fast will suffice) for as long as you God grants you grace. Stop the phone conversation; in doing so, you'd know the truth about his actions.
2. Look inwards and make your own life right with God (no one without sins). Begin to love this man the way you've never done before . . . let him wonder "what has come over you". You can win him over (from the so called mistresses without words)
3. Open up to him humbly (if at this stage he has not "reported himself") about "what you found out" . . . and make up your mind to bear with any explanations he comes up with . . .
I know a lady who was abused by her husband. She fell into depression and finally they were living like two strangers in the house. In her heart (after taking the above steps) she had forgiven him. She came back from work unexpectedly before time one day and found her husband on top of another lady in their shared bedroom (at that point the man had driven her to be sleeping in the guest room). She greeted them and left . . . called back at work and excused herself. She went to the kitchen brought out food and served them lunch in the dinning table and told the husband with a smile that "lunch was ready for him and his guest" (the man hadn't eaten her meal for months). The nude lady (now dressed) bust out in tears. She asked the man; it this your wife you told me was a she devil? Oh God please forgive me and help me to be like this lady . . . the man's wife wiped her tears and embraced her and she left. The husband was so ashamed and remorseful and pleaded with her not to leave. She looked at him and said "J. . .(his name), if I were to leave, I would have left you since but I love you . . ."
Beloved, these couple are missionaries today as I write. What can't God do . . .the obstacle is usually YOU!
LADY IGO WITH REGARDS.
Chineke umu nwanyi... Pls I don't like ur advice lady igo .. serve them food for what ? Abi decorate them with my can of acid.. Mbanu..
DeleteLady Igo u neva tire for dis ur story u post on almost every blog.
DeleteHian,madam I won't judge but som of these ur stories na wa!!!!
DeleteMadam Igo. Igo. You have a back up story for every narrative. Bwhahahahaha. Stellistica, your BVs never disappoint loving it here.
DeleteI have nothing to say. Make I rea other comments, maybe den I will have something to say.
ReplyDeletePoster 1 pls let him go. You have your whole life ahead of you. Don't complicate it! Keep in touch with him and see how the flow goes....
ReplyDeleteI get headache will read comments later
ReplyDeleteN2 hope u/ur friend didn't trap d man with pregnancy n took him away from "the concubine"?
ReplyDeleteIf that's d case, enjoy d ride.
N1 let d bird fly,
If it comes back home to roost,
Bingo!
N3 sweet mother,i no go forget u,
For d suffer wey u suffer for me eeh!
Now u r an adult, show her love.
Shikina!
Poster 1- you said you both are good together. Why look for a bind before he travels?
ReplyDeleteLet your relationship be based on trust while you both are as free as aleke the bird.
Never cage yourself! You never can tell.
Poster 2- what your friend did is called James bond snooping.
She had better deal wwith the outcome as a toughie o! No sobbing aftermath else...I will be mad
Snoopers are meant to be tough not a cry baby .
Poster 3- say less to your mum. Avoid issues with her and work ttowards being your own woman.
Poster 1; let him go without any commitment. If he comes back to u without any baggage, the he is meant for u.
ReplyDeletePoster2: how is it possible that a husband can't recognise her wife's voice on the fone. Sorry I don't believe ur story. So no suggestion from me.
Poster 3: am sorry about ur mum's behaviour. Something seems to be eating her up. Wat about ur dad? Can u have a chat with her and let her know that her behaviour is affecting u.
It is possible. I & my cousin sound similar on the phone.
DeletePoster 3!your mama na mama ijebu___cant stop laughing oo,your mama go sabi find trouble well well,abi she be edede ikian!
ReplyDeleteposter 1 you are too young for the drama you want to put yourself inside. Are you the one to decide that you guys will get married? continue your life, if you guys are ment to be, it will be. poster 2, your story don't add up, she called the husband and called which name? and the husband answered the second line and said he is going to meet her, no meeting place????? Try to coordinate your story next time.
ReplyDeletePoster 1, having an introduction before your boyfriend travels is not the key to him staying faithful and coming back to you.don't married men cheat,knowing well that they have a wife and kids @ home?
ReplyDeleteI'm afraid the only thing you can get by with is a promise from him to come back to you,heck,guys even promise what they don't intend fufilling..
Follow your heart,if u feel you can wait 2 yrs and it would be worth it,then by all means,pls do..
But I'd advise you to leave your options open..
You never know..
Poster 2, your best bet would be to confront your husband,whatever happened to communication bikonu?
Poster 3, yours is a very sensitive issue..only a mother and child can fix their problems by themselves..
Have a heart to heart talk with your ma..
Nne nne,nne amaka,nne na to ka ofe onugbu,ofe ogbono,oyoyo!!
Daughter of drama queen.
ReplyDeleteNo matter the amount of love you show your mom, she probably is stuck in her ways.
Best way out: never confide in her again and don't feel guilty that you can't
Spot on! No changing tbem no matter how u make the plea
DeleteP1...Your man is not worried so I think you should pump your brakes and pump it quickly. Just keep it in mind that he could go away and be done. Even marriage does not bind people these days let alone simple Intro. Please face your life and know that if he is yours he will come back to you.
ReplyDelete@ Poster 1: never u wait for a man & never think you can tie him down with introduction.
ReplyDelete@ Poster 2: I believe her hubby her playing her too, he knows she's the one so he is playing along.
@ Poster 3: Show your mum some love, she may be going through emotional illness.
I will only read comments. All this matter pass me
ReplyDelete#1...u think dat 'miss mae gate stay away' is funny abi?..I hope d guy leaves u wen he travels den u'l realise u shldnt be kicking anoda lady wen she's down
ReplyDelete#2..
#2...am sure her hubby is deliberately troubling her mind cos he knows she's playing games with him..now her game her backfired..stop testing men
3...Iya o se paro...wether good or bad,a mother can't be exchanged
Bitchplis a.k.a Lamidey, why does this miss Mae issue pain u every time?we know u are d one nd for ur info the poster only joked about it nd u took it personal because u are jobless as they come
DeleteLol@ anonymous....Hahahhaa
DeleteMay God give ur family members d fortitude to bear ur loss...deyv lost u to insanity.. Lamidey ko,lamidi ni
DeleteJust so u know,wen I was still playing girls I was much much much smoother dan d lamide guy...I wasn't dat sloppy with my moves..I was well trained.
Anybody call me lamidey again ko sofo emi
Bitchplis, you keep giving everyone the idea that you are lamidey.. Hian
DeleteMr bitchpls, don't you think the poster sent this narrative when 'miss mae' issue was still going on? Though it was posted several days later? The guy won't leave her, and that she asked for advice doesn't give you the right to talk in such a way. Bridle your tongue, that you aren't talking directly to her face doesn't mean you should spew rubbish. Mmo kop do?
DeletePoster 1: set him freeeeeeeee...
ReplyDeleteIf he loves you, he'd come back to you, if not, you may just have too move on.
You both might get to meet different people in the interim, and you'd be glad there was no introduction.
Poster2:
So the husband couldn't recognize his wife's voice?
What made your friend buy a new sim in the 1st place?
Your narrative is incomplete.
Drill your friend to spill the truth, or stay away completely.
Leave Husband and wife to sort themselves out.
Poster3:
Stella, please leave emotional illness out of this.
Some mothers could be dramatic, very selfish and so wicked you would begin to think you were adopted. Always nagging, finding faults, comparing the children to others, bringing them down in public.
I understand where the poster is coming from.
My dear, please find a way to leave the house, or bury yourself in your job if you've got any.
Again, don't think of a boyfriend or husband as the solution to your problem. Even when you eventually do, don't discuss your family with him, as he may find a way to ridicule you in the future.
Ignore your mother's tantrums, or speak out, as the case may be. You aren't meant to live your life for her.
All the best.
P1 my dear don't do any introduction,let him go 2 canada if u both are meant to be he wld come back & get married to you,P2 u use ur hand dey find wahala,P3 show ur mum love,1ce in a while buy her gifts
ReplyDeleteMiss Mae gate has stayed away oooo.. Goodluck. . Lol
DeleteMiss Mae can u pls remove d 'gate' from ur name? Don't let what bv's call u stick to u, I kn u r a good person inside, ur name isn't 'miss Mae gate' it's just an unfortunate incident dat u were involved in. Takkia
Delete@Adetutu lolllllllllll @ ur comment
Delete1st poster, allow him go, wht wol be wll be, i have a friend tha was in your shoes, but it turned out well ok? 2nd poster, Your friend should confront her husband shikina, but obviously she married a hot pant. 3rd poster, maybe you should talk to her, if she doesn't change, talk yo someone she respects... Maybe her poster or someone then also pray.
ReplyDelete@poster1 : let that bobo go,if he is truly yours, then it will happen.
ReplyDeleteDon't tie yourself down.
You might even meet someone much better when he leaves who knows.
@poster2 : speechless
@poster3 : just be patient with her
You don't know what she goes through.
Just assume is a cross which you must carry
Poster 1, if u still wana be married to that wandering pee pee man, u need to brace ursef for a life time of other women in the pics. Abeg transfer that love to ur newborn biko. No need confronting him cause he would surely find a way and wriggle himself out of that nonsense. Take heart inugo? Na wetin we women dey see o, take every thing to God in prayers too. Jisieike. And Stella dis ur advice no jell biko
ReplyDeletePoster 1, take Stella's advice, p2, dis your story get K-leg jare, p3, continue praying to get a good husband cos I know those type of mothers, @all, it is well
ReplyDeletePoster 1 if he is truly urs, no matter where he goes he wud come bk to u, doing introduction won't stop him from leaving u if he wants, just let God guide u both
ReplyDeletePoster 2 yanga they sleep, trouble go find am, what if ur husband knows its u and its playing ur game too. Easy pls and discuss with him
Poster 3 pls ur mum can't be that bad pls, don't play the good girl part here, after going through pains to birth u, she wud now turn bad, no na, pls check ur attitude, hope ur not among those that insult their parents and expect respect. Its only a witch that wud hate her children.
Waiting to read comments
ReplyDeleteMake i sidon read comments
ReplyDeleteMy own chronicles....
ReplyDeleteA very close friend is seekin my advice.he said he's goin to do exactly wat I say cos he knows d oda guys will definitely tell him to cheat but cos d wife is my very close friend i'v been encouragin him wen dey taunt him for been faithful.he's been married for like 2 n a half years n he's NEVER cheated on his wife not even during dia 4year rel b4 marriage.he said dey have sex once in like 2/3 weeks (one round) n dats after much begging. Dey stopped havin sex immediately she got preggie till 4 months after birth...d guy didn't cheat even wen she travelled out to give birth abroad.now d guy is frustrated n a lady @ work is already tellin him how she'l fuck his brain out.dey r very close so deyv talked about it several times...n rule out d possibility of d wife cheating,she's definitely not....I think she's just complacent cos she knows d guy is faithful...
Pls what shld I advise him to do?...he'l see dat oda lady tomorrow n he needs me to either encourage him or talk him out of it.d only tin av told him yet is not to lose dat blind trust his wife has for him
Stupid man! Must he cheat?
DeleteWhy can't he communicate with his wife?
He might even be the reason for his wife's change in attitude.
Instead of him to put his family in order, he's busy seeking encouragement on what he's already made up his mind to do.
Arrant nonsense!!
Smtcheeeeerwwww!!!
DeleteStupid guy he is ....
Make he sha no carry Ebola give him wife....
Let him find other means instead of him wanting to carry a other babe..
He go just use him dick spoil him life!!!
Communication is the key, he should talk to his wife nd let her know wats up, if she refuse to change nd he ends up cheating and she finds out, she will blame herself
Deleteplease talk him out of it, cos it's not worth it
DeleteSince he listens to u, pls kindly talk him out of it before he does something that he will regret. Why seek for intimacy outside when he can sit his wife down and talk to her?
DeleteBitchplis.. with the kind of Chronicles I have read... your friend is actually as good as they come... it has come to the point where we silently applaud a man or woman for staying faithful/celibate for some years.
DeleteIn this generation where married women say things like "I could not hold myself" i am sorry I have to appreciate this young man!
Tell him that most of his friends that laugh at him wish they can be like him.. whatever sexual issues he has should be sorted out with his wife.
If he allows the devil to make him go astray... he will definitely regret it .Having an affair with that lady will just open the floodgates of perpetual cheating... not worth it,in my opinion....Few minutes of "bang bang" is not worth betraying his marriage for biko.
Intelligent inputs/advice not curses pls...quicksilver n okija wife,take note.
DeleteThanks
Thanx iphie(not Alfred) dearie,adetutu,Jenny Zee n anon 18:16...u r not left out as well okija wife n quickie(u don get bbm requests from S&m?)
DeleteCommunication is the key!
DeleteHe should talk to his wife and make her understand he has needs.
He needs to satisfy his sexual urge and by God he doesn't want it with another woman.
He has to make her understand that she is pushing him. (just like the role monalisa and Mr Nigeria hubby played as a couple in the movie Keeping my man)
Women somtimes push their men outside and at the end paint the man black and label him a cheat forgetting the orinating reason why he went out.
Truly he is a good man and I applaud him . He is just like my DH. That's why even when am tired, the worst i do, is off light and squeeze face while he's at it. But deny him? Hell no!
I bet she doesn't know the consequences of her actions. Someone has to talk sense in to her! the best person is her husband.
Marriage is all about considering the next person . It's not about you anymore but about you and your spouse.
#sacrifice #compromise #love #understanding.
Lol@ BBM Request.
DeleteI didn't participate jare.
I'm looking for a job, or money.
Relationships can wait for now.
Bbm request kor!!!
DeletePhew!!!
Poster 1: let me share a story with you. One of my sisters inlaw told me about one of our respective DH's relative. she was the only one among her siblings who went to school, she served in lagos and was staying with my mom inlaw. my mom inlaw and sis inlaw(pushy lots if I may add) convinced her to marry one of their friend's son who was planning to travel. According to my sis inlaw who attended d wedding, the babe was reluctant about the whole thing that even on the wedding day my sis inlaw was telling her that if she did not want to marry d guy that she should forget it(meanwhile my DH was FIERCELY against d marriage cos he felt that since d groom was about to travel then there was no need to tie d poor girl down since there was no plan for her to go with him). The last I heard of her, d groom is not yet back and its almost three years.
ReplyDeleteMoral: free d guy and free yourself. Both of you are young. Don't tie him down and don't tie yourself down. I repeat, set yourselves free. if he is yours, he will come back to you.
Poster 2:blank!
Poster 3: your mom is exactly like my mother inlaw. She is never satisfied. I realised who she was when she came for omugwo. When her son offends her, she will start digging his past even up to d things he did as a CHILD to his brothers; I was shocked. It was like d woman wanted to tarnish her son's image before my eyes. It was a very strange experience for me i tell you. And i am not surprised that he doesn't tell her anything important to us as a family.
Two Suggestions
1) talk to her in her selah moments about the way she speaks when she is angry. Tell her how her attitude hurts both you and your sister to the extent that your sis never tells her anything anymore and if after telling her she still goes ahead to do it when you both have a misunderstanding, immediately after she stops yelling, tell her QUIETLY that you realise your mistake in sharing issues with your own mother, and she will never know anything important about your life again.
2)never shirk in your duty towards her. Do it as unto the Lord.
P.S: don't let her attitude make you desperate for marriage. You have been with her your whole life, you should have your coping mechanism by now.
Peace!
Poster 1,let ur heart off the relationship so that when he goes and never comes back d same',u will not feel hurt!iit mite not be easy here for him,but d pressure and temptation out there will be double!if only u can convince him to stay lil longer seeking for the job afterall he's only going for d masters cos of lack of job!
ReplyDeletePoster2,ur story sounds stupid,silly and incomplete.this is not d kind of foolish snooping we team snoop members are teaching here abeg,so count us out.this is what dey call trouble dey sleep yanga go wake am!#mtceeew.
Make ur friend clean up her mess abeg.
Poster3,....some mothers are like that as they age.just try to ignore her and stop telling her personal things.must u even tell her?look for an elderly friend u can be confiding in.
Stories that touch the liver..................
ReplyDeletePster 2 I totally agree with aunty stella even if he puts a ring n God says his not yours u cant do anything just allow life play out what it has in stock 4 bth of u
ReplyDeletePster 2 ur friend started dis fire n she must put an end to it..men will always b men serial cheat its bter she saves herself the heart aches n high blood pressure ill advice she kips bin his wife n jst let it go
Pster 3 ill say thank God 4 my mother I ve done so many wrongs yet she has never used it against mii wen we Ve issues ill say show her love no matter how little get things 4 her
I love anty stella......you are too real
ReplyDeleteNarrative number 1, please don't involve yourself in married people ' s problems.they' ll use you to settle in bed. Let them handle themselves. Narrative number two welcome to the club.many mothers are like that but people just keep quiet, let it go and move on.i' ll tell you what I did cos am in the same boat.know people in the same boat.just stop telling her things, be formal.if she needs something from you,give her.dnt expect love at all.just ignore whatever she does.dont argue with her if she tries to.livw your life she has lived hers.its a pity.i wish things were different for people like us.but it isn't so get used to it.work on your life so you can get something doing and eventually get married.when you do,show love to your kids and your hubby.life isn't fair.jist don't get angry so you won't inherit her own so sins.you can't change her but you can change yourself and show her the love she has failed as a non to show you.it works so well. Let your body turn to bullet proof,u won't feel hurt again if she does anything.follow her the way she is.she wnt change,not at this old age.
ReplyDeleteI was once in your friend's position and I went crazy. With two children, this man was treating me like I was a smelly animal, even in public. He couldn't believe it when my behaviour changed. I would ask him to give me money for food and he would give half of what I would normally need. Thinking he was going through a lot, I would borrow the remaining money from my relatives to complement and pay back when I could, not knowing that he was spending his money on another woman, buying designer bags, going out to eat etc. I saw red. The day I told him that if he does not drop the complete money for food, both of us will tear ourselves in pieces and I will make sure the whole world hears, he couldn't believe it. I was ready for war. A man I suffered with, was there when he had nothing, then he pays me back by making me and my children starve whilst he was playing nookie with his side attraction. I was ready to get him out of our lives till friends intervened and by God's grace he has changed. Some might even say he has stepped up his game, but the point is if I had not dealt with it when it started, we might not be together today. So, my advice is that your friend should address her husband's infidelity issues ASAP. She should talk to her pastor, parents (from both sides) or good friends and she should please have proof of his infidelity because men can lie for Africa.
ReplyDeleteLike my mum please they all the same it's just that we don't talk about it the only person I can talk about this is my sis,just show her love I'm sure she is divorced n lonely ,we show her love but I have married so mine has reduced my sis in still in the house with her,I had to kindly tell her there is a way u talk to me plz, I'm not a child,but I also think it age what else can we do remember they cared for us so use to have compassion n care for her
ReplyDeleteHmmmmmn @ poster 1 dnt be too foward if. He luvs u he shud be d 1 doing all thse not to loose u not d oda waay around dnt get tied up @ d end f d dai he fucks up nd u strt regretting y u did in d first place wen u cud av used d tym of waiting to get sm1 new,d thng is loove is a risk my dear u go in without know d end result so my dear juz let him go if he comes back den u'll kn it's meant to be.@ POSTER 2 since she knwz she knwz what to do tell her the truth u husband no luv uuu,he only used her to fufill his prnts wish,or juz to get d claim of being married,so abeg if she can bear mke she stay dere buh if she cnt b4 he gives her Hiv make she comot ooooo coz dat kind marriage beta kpata coz I mean he cud get any disease any tym nd pass it on to her without remorse mke she thnk of how to beta her liife ooo instead of bearing bullshit buh mke she confrnt am first to see if he'll change.@POster 3 dat kind mama na wa ooooo,my dear bear am oooo till u get bobo,or better still go get a job so u can pay ur own rent.
ReplyDeleteit is well
ReplyDeletePoster 1,no need to tie yourselves with intro, i had a long distance relationship it takes a lot of work, there are no guarantees( just like any other relationship) but give it your best shot, give him benefit of doubt and see how it goes wish you all the best. I am now married to my long distance boo so it worked for us
ReplyDeletePoster 1: Just know what will be will, you don't need to tie each other down with introduction. Trust is all you need now and hope things work the way you guys planned when he gets there.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: Your friend should just take things easy so that she can have peace of mind. Just know what you want for your life and home and be focus on it.
Poster 3
God is what you need , No amount of love can
Lol @ if is you, GOD bless you stalls, I really don't no why people lie
ReplyDeletehahahahaha @ miss mae gate stay away lol
ReplyDeletePoster 1: let him go. If he is urs, u guys will still be together.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: ur husband is a randy man. Haba
Poster 3: ur mama ehn!!! Dunno wat to say
Una dooh!
ReplyDelete#1-Allow him to go without any ties...just as Stella said.... my ow bobo is in Canada too (has being dere for years) na so I find out months ago that he has a child with his baby mama in Nigeria n is married to a white woman der for d blue papers....
ReplyDelete2-your friend no do Am wella.she would have told. Him to meet ha somewhere.....wetin I dey talk sef.......follow Stella advice
3-Show ur mama some love..go buy ur mama a house,give ha a kiss for me ha 10th daughter
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Liking dis my anonymous mood today
Poster 1: Just know what will be will, you don't need to tie each other down with introduction. Trust is all you need now and hope things work the way you guys planned when he gets there.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: Your friend should just take things easy so that she can have peace of mind. Just know what you want for your life and home and be focus on it.
Poster 3
God is what you need , No amount of love can change her except you have enough money to pamper her. She is Olowo late mi..
Poster one..... Oyo is ur case........ Ohhhhh
ReplyDeleteBut don't tie ursef with any introduction ohhhhh... Allow him to go and see how he behaves ohhh.. Well I hope tinz work out for u both
Poster two...... U dey play with fire ohhh... Now she has started dis how will she go about it now ... Dat her hubby is a big dog.. If I was her I will play along and tell him where we will meet wen I meet him dere I bet he wud b ashamed of himself and change his ways.
Poster three... Stella I disagree with u for dat ur advice.... Dat woman is just a wicked woman... She wants all d moni to herself.... If na my mama I go dey eat with her with long soup.....
poster 3;you are passing through the same thing like me,my mum is extremely strict,I cnt talk to her about my private life and whenever I do something wrong,its war..seriously envy people who are so in good terms with their mother,I feel like leaving the house just like you,lately I have decided to stay calm and quiet to better the situation
ReplyDeleteExactly like my mother! @ poster 3 I understand your pain, am going through the same thing myself. All the personal stuff I told her in confidence, our neighbours knw them all, because when we have a little misunderstanding, she begins to cuss me out with them. She has cussed me out with my EX, cussed me out with my issues in school, told me that she started suffering when she had me, meaning I am d source of her problem. At a certain point I wanted to take my life because I was tired of the nagging, the bulying the insults, the comparism etc, just keep to yourself, no matter how tempted you are to talk to her don't do it. Mine even cusses me out nw that am too secretive. Just keep praying to God, keep yourself busy. When she cusses u out get an earpiece and listen to anything, because her curses can get to you. It's not easy. Good luck
DeletePoster 1 av been there done that, now we are married! No need to fear, let him go, if you people are meant to be, you people will be.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 Buhahaha you got more than you bargained for. Men are crazy. It's well with you, I pray you can stomach all you started, better still just open up to him now that it's still fresh!
Poster 3, no comment, some mothers are naturally dramatic in nature
Haha @2 he is playing the wife. @3 yes Stella advice is right. Please pray for restoration ps 23 and emotional healx@ its very root.
ReplyDeletePoster 1: am in a long distance relationship, mine is easier cos he's in the UK and we in the same time zone . We chat all the time -as in that Mae and lamide kinda chat...(yes he works and I do too) then we skype and Plan our leave off work, so we vacation in a new country very time. The communication is so much that I don't feel his absence as much as I should .
ReplyDeleteSo poster don't worry ..just keep the communication line going , if he loves u and willing to make it work.. 2years is not so long .
about putting ur eggs in one basket . In the past have had different baskets ...putting my eggs here and there and they never worked out ,so am putting all of my eggs in his basket and trusting God that it works out fine in the end.
Lol @ mae and Lamidey kinda chat
DeletePoster 1,
ReplyDeleteLet him fly like a bird if he is for you he will return to you but if not.... A better guy might just be around the corner waiting for you.
P3 your mum sounds like mine growing up. Just stop telling her anything. Soon her abuses will be stale and she will mellow down but don't let that fool you.
ReplyDeletePoster 1: Stella has taken the words out of my mouth. Goodluck with your own outcome.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: are you sure you are not the one that bought a sim to trick the hubby? It's not good ooo!!!!! Men don't like to be tested. Be careful.
Poster 3: she's your mum and you must love her no matter what. Good luck to you too
Post1 if he's yours he will surely come back for you and all you have to do is pray.
ReplyDeletePoster2... hmm u are playing with fire and stop that game you are playing cause u won't like yourself at the end.
Poster3 we are in same shoe,pray and don't answer her no matter what she says or do to you.
1- If he really loves you and have conscience, he will come back for you unless otherwise but don't put all your hope on him.
ReplyDelete2-Your friend should deal with the issue once and for all, unless she used pregnancy to trap the man.
3-Just be prayerful and learn not to insult her back.
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ReplyDelete