Sunday In House Gists...

Read Saturday's In house gists Here.....

Only one winner will emerge from combining yesterday posts and todays together....so please read both again and decide on who gets the prize....

A BV already contacted me that she will pay the winner of the in house gists from the combined posts.

Remember that there can only be one winner.

GIST NUMBER 6

CAUGHT PANTS DOWN

Good day SDK fans....this one happened on Sunday oh in my street...This boy Ikenna whose father is a pastor keeps on sneaking girls into their house...every night he would bring in a new girl...so his younger sister has been complaining to him and begging him to stop because of the constant moans she hears from the girls every night,but Ikenna wouldn't listen....

So it happened on Sunday when the family had finished their night prayer,Ikenna as usual sneaked in another girl( this girl was a chorister in his father's church). They started doing itbnd the girl was moaning as usual...so ikenna's sister went and alerted her parents....omo na so pastor and wife enter the boy room catch them stark naked...

Pastor pulled his belt and started whipping his son,the girl wanted to run but pastor's wife caught her and started beating her...omo see gobe...

After the beating they were both pushed out of the house that night around 1 am.....the news has spread all over the street right now....

Moral lesson...never bring your sex mate to your family house...hotels and motels are cheap these days lol

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GIST NUMBER 7.

DEVIL PLANT

On that faithful day.. Na jejeli the plant sit down ooo.. Me still dey small then.. I think say na groundnut dey inside na em a go plung am...

The thing just spread for my body.. Na em i start to dey scratch body like mad man.. I think say na joke.. Next wey i see i don pick race reach house.. And dem dey do one burial for front of our house then.. 

Ooo boy i carry water and sponge dey bath for outside think say the pain go stop.. Dont know say i dey worsing case.. Na em one guy just tell me.. Noooo.. Na red palm oil sure pass.. Na em i rob am all over my body... Doing this outside ooo unclad ooo and With my joystick showing.. Come see laugh dat day..

My mum say atenuje oo ni paa eee (food no go kill you)

EVIL PLANT

That is the story and bad experience about the devil plant..

My dear BV's can you kindly share yours if you have experienced such before..

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GIST NUMBER 8

Jide’s Encounter with the Masquerade

Hello Mrs Stella. I believe you are doing fine. It is me once again. This hustle for 5K real sote I had to rack my brain to remember this funny incident that happened while I was in primary school.

The school ended on that fateful Friday afternoon like every other ‘normal’ day. It was Egungun (Masquerade) Festive period in Ibadan. I’m sure my Ibadan peeps would know how violent this festivals could be. Jide and I left the school to trek home. (Let me say at this point that Jide was a very tough boy. You beat him and he couldn’t beat you? He would resolve into either biting you like Mike Tyson biting Hollifield or ‘stoning’ you like Apostle Stephen in the bible).

 Na pako school we attend so no school bus. As we walk down the road, we came across a large crowd with all kinds of cane flogging one another. They did it with great joy. Every other pupil fled the scene but Jide and I been the inquisitive amebo boys stood there and watched. We were lost in the euphoria of watching ‘sane’ people whipping one another like they were serving one another with Stella’s jollof rice until a short masquerade (the thing be like dwarf) approached us.

 I was the first to see the ‘short thing’ running towards us with a thin but long whip. I still remember vividly the way I shouted ‘Yeh! Mo gbe! Jide run for your life! I fled immediately and Jide followed suit. But quite unfortunately, the masquerade had gotten so close to Jide that he made away with several strokes of the whip. I ran to a corner and watched as Jide struggled with the pains. Sincerely, it was funny. Why? Every BV will agree with me that it is always funny when you see a lad been whipped on that part of his back where his hand cannot reach. You know the way he will twist with a long inhaled breath before he burst out crying? Exactly! 

That was the way, Jide was crying. I laughed at him from where I hid myself. The short masquerade turned around and was leaving with glee of victory when Jide rose up from his bended knees, threw his bag away and began to search for stone on the ground. Unfortunately for the ‘ara orun’ (‘heaven citizen’ abi na wetin them dey call them in Yoruba land), Jide found a sharp stone and ran after the masquerade. He threw it with all his strength and like David struck Goliath in the bible, the stone hit the masquerade right at his forehead. The next thing I heard as Jide ran back towards me was ‘Yeh! Jide! O ti ku leni. Ti mo b agba e mu!’ (Jide! You are dead today! If I catch you!). What? A masquerade knew my friends name?

By miracle, we escaped with our bags and went home. Jide was my neighbour. We did not report the incidence to anyone at home until later that evening when Jide began to run fever. His mum took him to Nurse Titi who owns a ‘chemist’ shop in the area and what happened at the Nurse Titi’s Chemist was Epic. Jide and his mother met Dauda and his (Dauda’s) mother. 

They had come to buy Chinese balm (‘onise meje’ rob) for Dauda’s badly swollen forehead. Dauda could not talk but as Jide saw him he knew immediately that it was Dauda in the masquerade gown. He rushed for another stone and was about to stone him when the two confused mothers intervened. It led into another round of fight between the two women. Jide confessed to his mother immediately that it was Dauda who flogged him inside the masquerade gown. Dauda denied and I was summoned as the witness. I was lost for words. Why? To me, back then, my late Grandma always told me that Egunguns (Masquerades) were from heaven.

 When asked how Jide knew it was Dauda. Jide began to explain. First, Dauda was not present in school today (Dauda was our rough class mate. Jide and Dauda were sworn enemies). Second, the masquerade shouted his (Jide’s) name. Third, he had evidence. When he was asked what his evidence was. He shouted, E wo koko lori e! Emi ni mo fo lori! (Look at his swollen forehead. I broke his head).

The rest is history. If una want find out how dem settle the case, contact my ‘Ayepe Community primary School’ in Ibadan. Ehehehehehe. My friend, Jide is currently running a course at the Police College, Lagos. If you ask me, I would say he was born to be a detective. Lol.

Stay blessed everyone.

BV who mailed me promising to pay whoever wins,please contact me...