It is what it is..!
NARRATIVE ONE
THE 'PUTTING A RING ON IT' SITUATION
-Good day madam Stella...I am addicted to your blog buh kinda like my ghost mood..I need some advice on what seem to be bothering the hell outta me...
I am in my mid twenties and have been dating this guy in his early 30s for almost 3 yrs now...the last time we visited his parents, he introduced me as just "a friend" and doesnt seem to talk about the family buh would discuss mine,tho his siblings are aware of our relationship but still should it be friendship at this stage?
I Am not forcing him to marry me or something just dont want to waste my time and every time I try to talk to him about it he tells me that "its small small" and it ends in a quarrel...
I am jus confused as to why he doesnt want to tell his parents about us officially.I Am really thinking of backing out cos it really hurts when I think about it. Keep up the good work...Bvs I hail oo
Telling his parents about you changes nothing,if he introduces you to the whole world and is not ready to marry,nothing will change that.
Our forefathers say that ''you fit drag horse go stream but you no fit force am drink water''.
Is he financially stable? whats his frame of mind concerning marriage?
And you,whats the hurry?
Dont force him to put a ring on it cos that would be worse.
If you suspect he is not ready,please borrow my running shoes!
..............................................................................................................
NARRATIVE TWO
CONFUSED AT A CROSS ROAD.
Hi dearest Stella, may God bless you for the platform you have created for people like me to pour out our heart, I Am a single mother of 25yrs, I lost my hubby at 22yrs and since then life have not Been fair to me. When I lost my husband, the family accused me of killing the man, whereas he was assassinated on the 10th day I had my baby and they said that the bad spirit in me shot him(funny).
My late love was well to do, I have travelled, enjoyed life and back to square 1, thank God for the help of a friend that has guided me through since then till now.
I have this other male friend that gave me huge capital to start of something , thanks to God for his help, and now the guy wants me to remain single because he is married already and he is ready to give me a life like he says often, that I should just say YES, that he is ready to buy me a duplex, car, and more money for my biz for a start and I believe that he will do those tins because he is super rich.
I actually agreed and told him to start with buying the apartment first and he refused , that I must be confirmed pregnant and I will come to the country where he is for the pregnancy test before he does any of that and really I don't think am ready to hv a child outside wedlock and am also afraid of getting married again because I don't know what the future holds , I won't want to end up in a wrong hand, though at some point of my life I became desperate to be wifed But still can't settle for the suitors at my doorsteps - I have two suitors, they are both OK , in fact just there .
The 1st guy is just average when it comes to the Size of his pocket and can simply put food on my table But mad about me and not interested in my past and very ready to marry me but I don't like his stature , I want someone presentable , someone I can boldly present as my husband .
The 2nd one an average guy too , he is presentable But I don't know the size of his pocket.
The truth is this I have suffered so much in life and have a lot of responsibility that i am not ready to marry a guy that I will start feeding, let me not prolong this.
At this point of my life, I am faced with the challenge of remaining single and getting the life in quote as my rich friend said or getting married to any of the guys. Sincerely i am tired of Being alone .
I only need your advice, please don't abuse me, I have a lot on my head already, i am not thinking straight. Abeg
Anybody who has tasted the good life CANNOT settle for less and you sound like one.If you are not ready to compromise and settle for less,then dont.
Most marriages are crashing these days because some people do not look well before they cross the road,some cross the road well but Miss the Bus stop!
Dont be ''pressured'' into settling for less!
Selah
Just negodu!!!
ReplyDeleteBrb.
********LONG LIVE SDK & SDKERS*******
Chimooooo.......Em jay is dis you ??
DeleteEkwensu eh-romancia mammy water.....ashim Ekwensu eeeeh-romancichala mammywater tinye ya finger....
Hahaha.....make una leave mi ooo. Missed evryone like hell. Em jay...how u doin ? *shines teeth*#subtle#
Oya...make I run.
Li-yon Vls.
This is for poster 1.
Delete'Buh' instead of 'but'? 'Cos' instead of 'because'?? That there is the reason why he's telling you it's 'small small'. You're obviously still a juvenile. Maybe when you start behaving like a woman of her early 20s and not a teenager, only then will he probably deem it fit to consider you as wife material. Till then, dream on!
Lol!@ just negodu...
DeleteStella, sometimes you speak offline. Poster 1 isn't asking for a ring, she's just worried that after dating someone for 3 years he introduced her as just a friend. What kind of friend is that? I also would raise an eyebrow. Should she date another 3 years and be introduced as an acquaintance?
DeletePoster 2: all I read here is the size of the MANS pocket, what about your own pocket or trying to make ur own money, b4 u know every gal would be like i'm a feminist and i'm independent!! Marry whoever u love irrespective of the pocket, he. Can change into the richest man with ur help!! Change is constant
DeleteThis Emjay's new dp shaaaa!
DeletePoster1: U sound desperate darling, calm down. Most of us guys show our plans for babes, not say. So 'listen' to what he's showing, decide with that.
Poster2: I think ur very pretty, but obviously not very smart, with respect! Calm down, grow ur business, hopefully far from ur inlaws. Be d best mum u can be to ur child, draw close to God. While doing all these, God will send the best man for u. Oh, stop seeing d rich bros. Ur annoying God!
@Li-yon-vlsl,olzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz,my bugulugu,i haf missed ur comments,welcome bck,@Calabar chick,shine teeth.
DeletePoster 1, you love him but does he? Leave him if he's not interested... You're still young and can find someone. He's not interested cos even if he isn't financially OK, he would have been talking marriage. Leave him cos he isn't ready to marry you.
DeletePoster 2, Please don't settle for second wife if you have a suitor that loves you regardless. Presentable????? Cmon open your eyes and be wise o. Hmmmmmm
@poster2 : you are greedy n selfish!
DeleteMoney! Money! What of other good qualities?
Long throat is what will eventually kill you.
Keep analysing their pockets!
Mtcheew.
Poster 1, no need waiting for him to define the relationship, buy the ring urself, since he's not putting a ring on it, give him urs.
DeletePoster 2, u want to marry money. Good luck.
P2, what is the pocket size of your Dad and Brothers?
DeleteEm jay wtf is wrong with ur face and mouth in all your pictures.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteSmurf, she has her own money. She just doesn't want to have to be feeding the man too because she alreafy had one extra mouth to feed. That is completely understandable. She's not just thinking of herself here, she has a child to think of too abeg. Poster 2, please be very careful because these guys are usually very romantic and loving while they're broke or not too well-to-do. Plus, a lot of single Nigerian guys wouldn't like to settle for someone who already has a child (I know it's an unfair/judgemental outlook) but that's how majority of them reason. If he's single and broke and wants to get with you at all cost, then it might be for ulterior motives. If he were rich or at least quite comfortable and single, then at least you could be rest assured that it isn't for material things he can get from you in the meantime. Some will even pretend to be richer than they really are at first, just to get you. Not all men are like that though, there are still good ones out there but you need to open your eyes wide and think deep about what things before falling for them. Don't fall for someone who'll add to your responsibilities, that's not what you need right now. And pleeeeease, don't get with that married guy, don't allow anyone to turn you into that kind of woman for any reason or condition. Continue to be hardworking and pray to God for your own man.
Delete@anon tnx a lot for that question, if her father and brothers pocket Was sizeable would she had been in this dilemma ? Bastard poverty idiot at poster 2
DeleteNo comment today.
ReplyDeleteNarrative 1 you are dating yourself!
DeleteNarrative 2 don't rush, focus on your business let I boom well , but as you said u are lonely maybe u should go for who is willing to wait or isn't ready for the big commitment.
Stella, you didn't address the issue where she mentioned her married man friend wants to give her the world but she has to be single while he married and also wants her pregnant..
DeleteIt seems this is your first time on chronicles of a blog visitor. Go back and read stella's comment then you will understand that the young widow in question already has her mind made up and she's just looking for who to blame if all goes wrong!
Delete@ Fab Mum, abi? Another woman's husband oh!
DeleteWhy was her hubby killed? (sorry I brought it up but an curious). Poster 2 seems to too money conscious. Am very sure she would marry a single and handsome drug baron if possible!
Fat pocket or not. What does a man do for a living? Is he a responsible man? Is he a husband and father material? Is he God fearing? Will u have peace of mind? What are his values?
These are questions u should ponder on not the size of his pocket! Hian!
I have friends who have it all but aren't happy in their marriages.
Poster one if a guy can't define your relationship ask him to define it and if you are not satisfied leave. Don't waste 4 years in a relationship where you could have spent 4 months and counted your losses and moved on
ReplyDeleteWomen should not be afraid to talk to men they date jare. A man leaving you is not the worst that can happen if you want something ask
Exactly!
DeleteHave sense @ poster 1.
DeleteSo u don't wake up 14mths from now and realise u've been dating urself
He may like u but u may not just be what he is looking for in a wife.
Happened to me!
I almost died....
Be wise!!!!
Jesus fix all the problems.
ReplyDeleteChange is here........
THE ARRIVAL OF 1ST AND 2ND CHRONICLES..EZRA AWAITIN...
ReplyDeleteNarrAtive 2; how many of ur mates are married? Instead of u to collect more money from dat rich man nd get established for ursef nd child u re here talking of settling for less .......Nonsense.
DeleteHmmmm.... let's imagine this rich man is ur husband...
DeletePoster 1
ReplyDeleteWhat is all this marriage talk all the time from all corners of nigeria. e be like say na the most important degree for women. Cant you all just have a good dick and enjoy the moment? habaaaaaa
I still call some ex and we enjoy the pleasure of gisting of some memorable sexual moments that marriage cannot replace sef. Anyways, na una know
Poster 2
So you wanna have two children from different men? na wa.
Anyways, enjoy your life. But know say if your former hubby family see you dey enjoy, them go say na you true true kill their pikin oh
Let me ask well sha..... Are you the one? tell me, i wont tell anyone *sideeyes*
@1, wats d desperation for, y are you forcing d guy to marry u, i ve always told girls to keep at least 2-3 guys cos ur trap must catch one, plz free d guy if u are in hurry to marry.
ReplyDelete@2, i hate poverty so plz don't settle for anything less, stay with d guy dat wants to buy u a house abeg, poverty Na bastard.
She should stay with the Married man abi, causing another woman heart ache
DeleteShe should stay with a married man?? How long again will he fund her life style? ??
DeletePoster 2, work hard, plenty money will come. You would be able to travel round the world and afford the life style you crave.. While working hard, a good man will find you, someone who is more like what you want.. Hang out with people of life minds and you will attract the kind of person you desire... .
P2: So your married boyfriend gave you capital to start a new biz...you carefully avoided telling us if he did that 'free of charge'. You want to be happy at the expense of a fellow woman abi?
ReplyDeleteNma's Blog
NA wah oh. Dis she tell u d oda woman knows about her or she want to destroy her home!!! D guy has money to dish oh so keep ur advice to urself. Babe abeg what ever makes u happy!! And must u get pregant for d guy to help u. Tell him u re trying then b saving d small small cash he gives to u.
Delete@nma ojike: leave her,she is loose.
DeleteKeep fucking married men until your cup gets full..the married man u have been fucking has been blocking your senses with money that's y you want to marry a man that will buy the earth 4 you!
What goes around always comes back around!
DeleteAs for those dishing bad advice, una go marry one day. Hope una nor go write chronicle of how una hubby dey fund one single mother's expensive lifestyle.
THE CHRONICLES
ReplyDeleteposter 1, please do not force him, i will advice you place him on 60/40 chance, 60% he might not end up with you and 40% he might end up with you.
ReplyDeleteposter 2, just be very careful about your decision, the guy asking you to get pregnant for him according to you is married so why will he want you to be the second wife, except you want to sha. anyway i wish you all the best and pray about it all.
I just think you should use your head and save money from the guy to set yourself up but don't get pregnant for him or actually marry him- he's a selfish bastard.
DeleteIt's not enough that he wants a mistress whilst married, he now wants to saddle you up with an unnecessary burden- so if you had to meet someone else tomorrow, they'd see you in a different light for having two kids from two men- useless man.
Wow!
ReplyDeletePoster two please leave that married man, don't even think of getting pregnant for him. You will regret everything later. If you are not ok with the average guys just remain single and focus on your biz and child
DeleteNarrative Two: don't be in a hurry miss, get the good life first I mean have a business, own an apartment take care of your child and darling every other thing will fall into pleasant places.
ReplyDeleteNarrative One: I have seen a case where an introduction was held and engagement still called off so introducing you to his parent does not change his plan but you still need to talk to him and if you realise he just wants to keep you there my dear RUN.
Not all relationship ends in marriage, if d guy ain't talking about marrying you, look outside abeg.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 I don't understand ur gist...is one of d suitors married? You shud say YES to what while remaining single? Je ne comprendre o!
I tire for ladies that have d mindset that all relationships must end up in marriage...esp d ones dat expect a guy to propose after 6 months,dats why we will alwayz have ur chronicles to read
Delete#2...marry d rich,married dictator n be miserable...don't know about d oda suitors
There's nothing wrong with a man proposing after 6months. The heart knows where it belongs. It doesn't need to take donkey years before a man proposes to the one he loves n wants to be with
DeletePoster1:don't mind Stella ooo d guy is not ready to marry u and to Mai own understanding I tink he has Simone else he his dating apart from uuu.
ReplyDeletePoster2:if u kip on being selective u no go see our choice too cos nobody is perfect in anyway.
Poster 1, I understand you want him to define your relationship and nothing wrong with that. Check how he treats you and other things. If you think you deserve more than he is giving you then bounce.
ReplyDeletePoster 2, please don't become a kept woman. You are still young and beautiful and smart to make better choices. Do not settle for nothing unless something worth it. Leave the married rich guy alone. If you are not feeling the other guys ket them go too. Focus on yourself and child.
How does 1 cope with a man who can not provide because he does not have a job
ReplyDeleteTHELMA ENEMUWE said...
ReplyDeletePoster1---slow and steady wins the race,the fact that he took you to his parents's and introduced you as a friend sudnt bother ur little head,the truth is the parent are already aware that you're his babe,he musnt necessarily spell it out in bold letters,,wisely pick your fight with him and before you know it..viola!!!,he wud put a ring on it..
Poster2---you sound so confused...let the wisdom of God direct and order your steps into making the right decisions
What else again?....
*faithful BV enemuwe thelma*
Poster 1: I suppose you know your man better than any of us here, so you probably know how he thinks.
ReplyDeleteEven if he introduces you as his fiance to his family, it doesn't necessarily mean that he will marry you.
Just be as wise as an owl o, to avoid becoming an aunty gwegwelina or lady of the rings (in the case of ladies who keep wearing engagement rings for years, it tufia to key holder ring).
Poster 2: Your narrative dey one kind.
You said that this rich guy is married, right?
And you think being his mistress is the right thing, abi?
Have you thought about how his wife and kids (if any) , would feel?
Have you thought of what your own children will think in future?
It's not all about marrying a rich guy, without consideration.
Posterity never forgets.
You have two other single suitors abi?
Choose one of them,or focus on bringing up your children to become responsible adults.
If a good man comes along, then fine.
Oh well, your choice.
#WhiteDiamondOut
THELMA ENEMUWE said...
ReplyDeletePoster1---slow and steady wins the race,the fact that he took you to his parents's and introduced you as a friend sudnt bother ur little head,the truth is the parent are already aware that you're his babe,he musnt necessarily spell it out in bold letters,,wisely pick your fight with him and before you know it..viola!!!,he wud put a ring on it..
Poster2---you sound so confused...let the wisdom of God direct and order your steps into making the right decisions
What else again?....
*faithful BV enemuwe thelma*
P1 as a woman you should know your worth and what you want from a relationship be it money, sex, lifetime commitment etc and if you aren't getting it in the relationship please dump it. 3years is long enough to know where you stand except he's not financially stable. If you want marriage and he's not defining it despite been financially OK then what are you still doing there. It is before before girls use to hold mouth and not ask their bf about marriage so as not to sound desperate. These days any intelligent woman should ask and ask. You go dey river make soap enter your eyes? My dear sit him down and have a heart to heart with him, let his response at that moment decide for you. My hubby wanted to try that film with me but I just gave him an ultimatum to either ring it or scram. He first formed anger and left, I kukuma ignored him and started forming independent woman all over town. Na him use him two legs come back. This worked for me and doesn't mean it MUST work for you, know your man and you will know what to do. But most esp don't waste your youth on a bf.
DeleteP2 you have tasted money hence you may not enjoy any suitor that is broke. You are still young, focus on your daughter, build your business, go back to school and get more qualifications, during those period you definitely would meet someone that will meet your specs then marry him.
Shalom.
Mrs A. A
THELMA ENEMUWE said...
ReplyDeletePoster1---slow and steady wins the race,the fact that he took you to his parents's and introduced you as a friend sudnt bother ur little head,the truth is the parent are already aware that you're his babe,he musnt necessarily spell it out in bold letters,,wisely pick your fight with him and before you know it..viola!!!,he wud put a ring on it..
Poster2---you sound so confused...let the wisdom of God direct and order your steps into making the right decisions
What else again?....
*faithful BV enemuwe thelma*
Narrator 1: why is it that ladies always put their minds on marriage whenever a guy asked for friendship? why dont you free yourself and be yourself until he proposes. If you are tired of waiting... please move out of that relationship. I dont think you are too old. stop being desperate then next you will send another chronicle that you are emotionally abused. CARRY YOURSELF WELL.
ReplyDeleteNarrator 2... Go for the guy that said no marriage but will give you heaven on earth. you can get plan B too. Dont settle for less except you want to manage marriage.
thank u ooo ur words to narrative 1 is d.sure tthing.....
DeleteBut ur advice to narrative 2 no enter lol, cos d guy u want her to go for is married, she should look for a divorcee or a widower to settle down with.
DeleteLmao @ "many people don't look well before crossing the road,some cross the road and miss their bus stop" u sure have a way with word.
ReplyDeletePoster 1: Do not force or worry anybody into marrying you, if u notice he doesn't want what u want then go get what u want.
Poster 2: if I where you I'll stay single, you have tasted life and trust me you can't manage life anymore, u''ll only nag a man to pains if you settle for an average guy so please look well before u reap.
God help you both
THELMA ENEMUWE said...
ReplyDeleteHahahahahahaha
Heheheheheheh
Kikikikikik
*faithful BV enemuwe thelma*
Poster1 is your boyfriend financially stable,dose he have things of his own?
ReplyDeletePoster2 I don't know what to tell you oh
Poster No 1, You better don't put all your eggs in one basket? You don't have to sleep with the other guy, And you need to start referring your so call boyfriend as your friend and see his reaction.
ReplyDeletePoster No 2, The man is married, so leave him alone. I understand your situation, but if you want to add more to your problem, you'll marry your rich man. He'll never buy those properties in your name, so if anything happen, you'll be back to sqaure zero.
Goodluck.
Poster 1 if i were you, I will just look for a backup plan to avoid wasting time with this your boyfriend. Some men can be time waster.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 are you sleeping with the married guy that helped you? If yes leave someones husband alone. I will advice you to leave the two suitors alone because based on what you said, they can't make you happy.
Hmmm!! Poster 1, you sound so desperate and I think the age thing is really affecting you but please don't be desperate and if you don't see any seriousness in him why not moveeeeeeeee
ReplyDeletePoster 2 good life is sweet. From your story you know you want to stick with your rich friend but you can't eat your cake and have it.
POSTER ONE DNT ASK FOR RING DAT U WIL WEAR TILL THY KINGDOM COME..OFFICIALY INTRODUCTION OR NOT DOESNT MEK HIM DO WAT HES NOT RDY FOR NO MATA DE PRESSURE..CALM DWN MNY MARRY EARLY SOME NT EARLY,U CN DO OTHER THNGS FOR URSLF WHILE WAITIN TO BE PROPOSD, IF U R IN SUCH A HURRY, DEN U TEK A WALK..BUT BIA AUNTY STELLA, MOST OF THE PUBLISHERS ARE ALWYS MID 20s, U HARDLY READ POST OF MATURED MYNS,IS IT DT 33 AND ABOVE DNT SND ARTICLE OR OUR BABES AND WOMEN REFUSE TO GROW PAS MID 20S AND 32..LYK ALL DE ACTRESSES XCPT FOR FEW ONES. POSTER 2..DONT BE DECIEVED BY UR HUSBY'S FRND..DOES HE WANA KIP U AS HIS SYD CHICK??WAT IF HE CHNGES HIS MYN ABT U???THNK WEL ABT UR LYF....DNT KNW WATS PURSUIN U..U R STIL YOUNG.#MY OPINION#..TOMJERRYSWIT
ReplyDeletePoster sorry about all that you ve gone thru, but your rich friend is a *married man* so you considering becoming a second wife kwa... thank God you have a business better concentrate on it, go on your kneels because God is not asleep* Your future is bright, someone worthy will come your way but you must let go nd let God takeover.
ReplyDeletePoster2: Don't pressure him,have a honest conversation with him of his long and short term goals.. then you will know what you are up to.
Changed my mind, poster 2 go and look for a job and stop looking for a man to feed you haba! You probably ran into marriage cos of money and now you're at it again. Learn to feed yourself. Women are too lazy, only to fuck and wait for a man to feed you. You can do better.
ReplyDeleteSome women.
DeleteYes some women. I am at work and shouldn't be using my phone, so I have to quickly type.
DeleteDoppelganger, what do u do again? Hustler oshi. Ur name should be olosho one of sdk. Kettle calling pot black.
DeletePoster 2 stop sleeping with someone's husband. Idiot
ReplyDeleteDid she sleep with ur own? Ur not even close to marriage.
DeleteNwa amaka and marriage is the beginning and the end for you????
DeleteIssorai
Hmmmm. May God give you wisdom to handle this.
ReplyDeletePamscrib.blogspot.com
Poster 2. Just be careful and patient.
ReplyDeletePoster 1. Sit your guy down and discuss with him. We know how a man behaves when he is ready and interested in the lady he is dating.
Poster 2..... so you wanna remain a side chick / Baby Mama to your Rich friend just because of Money???? Or did I not get the full story?
ReplyDeleteYou are a widow, a young one at that and you need all the help you can get..... we all understand that
BUT
What I do not understand is you wanting to bring pain and grief to another woman who has done you no harm.
Life is not all about "good things"... how about dusting ur C.V and going out in search of a job?
How about learning a trade or getting skilled in one area or the other? How about working your ass out to ensure your child gets the "good things" of life?
Is it all about a Duplex and comfort provided by the rich man? Dont you have a conscience? You think being a mistress is all God created you to be?
Dearie, think again and realize your purpose in life. When you find that, you will find peace and fulfillment.
I love your comment. Poster Two, if I were you I would listen
DeleteSpot on was beginning to wonder if ppl didn't read the part the the 1st guy is married. Blog visitors and two sided mouth, tomorrow they would curse those after married men, today they re advising a single mum to stick to the married one. Haba
DeleteI fear for Una today
Oh Gifted hand, she said she has a business, help me ask her wat kinda life she wanna live? Poster don't listen to that ur jegede Frnd ooo, just think abt it like this, if u are the wife to the super rich dude how will u feel if u knew that ur husband is having an affair outside? Pls sometimes it's better we help the Men some men don't think wat they worry abt it sex sex sex, why dont u advice him u won't be a party to adultry. NNE I Don talk my own finish oo its left for u to do what's right in the sight of God and man.
DeleteStill Remain ur girl Mz sparkle..
Poster 1:don't rush anybody into marrying you.You will live to regret it.
ReplyDeletePoster 2;don't marry a poor man.
They are only interested in gbenshing their wife everyday and having countless children they can't take care of.
Poster 1:don't rush anybody into marrying you.You will live to regret it.
ReplyDeletePoster 2;don't marry a poor man.
They are only interested in gbenshing their wife everyday and having countless children they can't take care of.
1. Don't put your mind in the relationship anymore. Reduce the time you spend with him or stop spending time with him. Reduce ur calls and chats with him. Pretend like there is nothing like marriage in your dictionary so he won't term you as being desperate. Sebi he said you are just friends, then treat him as an ordinary friend and don't close your door when other reasonable men who are ready to settle down comes knocking so you won't end up wasting your time. All these will stare up curiosity and jealousy in him when he notice you don't care anymore, he'll sit up and if he doesn't, friendzone him abeg. Who get time to waste?
ReplyDelete2. It is well. Please be careful with that your olowo friend since you said he's married so you don't end up breaking another woman's home.
Why not wait to see if the second single guy whose pocket you're not sure of is right for you! Be patient so you don't enter a one chance vehicle.
Narrative 1) please is it by force to get d ring? Y do we ladies always expect more in a relationship? not all relationship leads to marriage, if u're not enjoying d relationship den call it quit...... Shuooo u expect him to introduce u to his parents as wifey ehehehehheheh when guy man is not even sure if he will marry u or u think men don't have the right to select? Biko park well...
ReplyDeleteAll these pieces of advice we give here, do you posters even follow them? Most of you end up going back to those men that treat you wrongly because you're already desperate. Make I still type sha... nah u sabi
ReplyDeleteP1, it doesn't take men long to decide if you're the woman of their dreams or not. And nothing pisses men off more than a desperate woman pressurizing them to wife her. They become apprehensive and begin to wonder if truly you are being real or just being nice because of the prize you've set your eyes on. I don't know about other women but I'll never initiate marriage talks with a man. If the relationship is long overdue and he's not talking the expected, call it off and move on. Some ladies may find it difficult because of all the time and resources they've put into the relationship, but in life, you win some and you loose some. Poster, since you've tried to bring him around the issue and he keeps brushing you off, do yourself a favour and move on. Severe every ties with him and let him need you. He will come back if he misses you. If he doesn't miss you, then you're not right for each other. And Oh, pls close your legs in your next relationship if you've not been doing so. You'll have men flooding around you if you're good enough and only then can God show you the right person when you seek for his direction
P2, pray and desist from sin. You don't wanna make another mistake in your second marriage.
Poster one: get a side boo Abeg. These niggas ain't loyal.
ReplyDeletePoster two: your story is too long I will continue tomoro.
Dumbo
DeleteNarrative 2) who get e head no get d tail. Keep searching.
ReplyDeleteposter 1
ReplyDeleteDont be desperate biko. if u are not comfy wit d relationship, move on.
poster 2
u want to be a permanent side chick cos of money. hmnn u are a very wicked woman. why do u want to destroy anoda woman's home cos of "good life" ? . kontinu inugo. home breaker,karma is doing press up for u. gerrahia
Poster1, just like what Stella said, if his not ready then don't waste ur time with him, me no fit wait for one guy that might not end up marrying me.
ReplyDeletePoster 2, NNE, biko must you live a life of a princess and queen? You mentioned you av a business, why don't u put more efforts in managing ur business and taking care of a child, getting pregnant for a married man whereas been his side chick/ babymama is a no no for me. I advice u manage ur business take care of ur child, you will definitely remarry when the right man comes. I just hope u do the right thing! Cheers.
Poster 2
DeleteNo respect for baby mamas (let's not deceive ourselves)
Let your child grow up and be proud of the discipline his/her displayed in making decisions
*his/her mother
DeleteP1, he might want to wife you buts he's not just ready yet, financial aspect et all. P2, sorry forctge less of your husband, the Lord will console you, guard and guide your child and make a better way for you. You have three options but it seems you are impatient. Remember, you can be waiting and waiting and choosy till thy kingdom come and if you are not patient you now fall into the hands of a wrong man and live in regret. You've tasted the good life yes, maybe God just wants to humble you. Pray for the best man that will give you love, care and peace of mind then every other thing will fall in place.
ReplyDeletePoster one
ReplyDeleteI hate relationships that drag on for years,MOST TIMES women always lose out.
When a man is courting you,he already knows what he wants,this is the time to have that "talk"
Some ladies have had proposals thrown on them without much talk within 6months or even less,others stayed waiting for it and never got it... some asked to know where the relationship was headed and either got a proposal or the bitter truth.
Some people will say,must all relationships lead to marriage? But for you in particular,you want the fairy tale right?Go for it! Ask him straight questions,no dilly dallying.. 3years is good enough for him to know if you are the one,heck! 3months is enough. Goodluck!
Poster two
The child you have,is he or she in the scheme of things? Are you considering the child in your decision making? I keep seeing,i will travel for the Pregnancy test,i will be a kept woman....etc
Well,whatever you do,empower yourself financially this time!
Ps: remember you have a child,consider that before you bring a man into your home for whatever reason... Child Abuse is something no parent should overlook for both our male and female children.
Stella be calling Anita @Majes baby mama locust... but goes so soft on this Mistress, who is sleeping with a married man cos he is boxed.
ReplyDeleteYet pple that have real problems, u wont hesitate to tag them Nymphos n all sort...
P1, young and desperate. Surulere
ReplyDeleteP2, indecision. You want to compare sidechic/temporal Ebongi to permanent Ebongi?Pls leave that married man that will offer you temporal satisfaction and pick from the ones that want you for keep.
Pt 1. Pls don't force a guy to marry u. If u feel dat ur rlship state doesn't favour u, borrow dose stella's running shoes. Pt 2. U already know wat u want. I can't advice u blc if I do u will call me an old school. I don't support fornication in anyway no matter d baptimal name given to it. If u r tired of being alone, pls get married.
ReplyDeletePt 1. Pls don't force a guy to marry u. If u feel dat ur rlship state doesn't favour u, borrow dose stella's running shoes. Pt 2. U already know wat u want. I can't advice u blc if I do u will call me an old school. I don't support fornication in anyway no matter d baptimal name given to it. If u r tired of being alone, pls get married.
ReplyDelete100000 likes
ReplyDeletePoster 1 my dear, introduction to parents and siblings nowadays means nothing. Maybe in the old days it use to mean smthn to guys. It doesn't necessarily guarantee he wld marry you. I am talking from experience. My ex introduced me to his family,aunts,uncles friends everything. I even sometimes slept over in his family house. But we don't live in same state, so I didn't visit all the time, but when I did, we would always stay in his family house. They would even refer to me as his wife, and call him my husband.
ReplyDeleteLow and behold the guy had smone else I knew absolutely nothing about. I found out through someone 3mths before his marriage, and offcourse he kept denying it, till I did madness for him and he confessed.
All that introduction means nada nowadays, there are some families women come and go, it makes no difference to them, especially if the family is polygamous. They have loyalty to dere son/brother and not to you a stranger. They will smile at you, offer you food, even buy stuff for you. In dere mind, it is whoever dere son / brother or son chooses at the end. He can introduce to them as his wife today, and next month he will bring another girl. It's his final choice that matters abeg.
My advice to you poster 1, which I also wish I took back then. Please do not put all ur eggs in one basket, if you see other guys asking you out, get to know them, go on dates with them. I am not saying sleep with them o, but make ureself available to other suitors. And pls don't be careless, keep it away from him.
I wasted 3yrs in a relationship that went nowhere, and im now 30, wondering where to start from. This happened last year and the pain is still very raw, because I made the mistake of putting all my hopes on this one guy for 3yrs and he's now married to someone else. I am still searching.
My dear, the Lord will intervene in your matter. Just let go and let God.
DeleteWhat is all this fuss about marriage? Everywhere and anywhere you see girls gathered, they are either talking about guys, or marriage. Wetin sef....haba!!! adongerit. Why won't these men keep using marriage to deceive women? Poster 1, my friend can you give that guy a break? what is wrong with you? If you feel you don't know where you stand with him,abeg leave....it's not by force na.
ReplyDeletePoster 2, I can't tell you to settle for les,cuz I wouldn't want to, but Nne,if you keep checking the size of pocket,you might as well just settle with your married lover,and yes I said lover cuz I know you've already gone to second base with him,even though yu left that part out.We no be pikin for here. But first of all,put yourself in his wife's shoes,if someone had done that to you when you were still married to your late husband,how would you have felt?
Gbam!!! Someone please tell her, was so surprised Stella didn't say anything about that. You lost your husband doesn't mean you should subject another woman to heartache and problems, you have accepted money to start a business,move on and try for yourself.
DeleteAll these people shouting not all relationships would be to marriage... Una dey crase ooo. Until she becomes an aunty gwegs na una go still insult her. Any lady above 25 should ask pertinent questions before going into a relationship. Get a definition of the relationship even before you start sef. You have no biz being in a relationship with someone you cannot marry.
ReplyDeleteThat said, poster 1 ask your 'friend' to define your relationship. A man that wants to marry you knows after a month. If after 3 years he doesn't know if he wants to marry you, then he would never marry you.
Poster 2, you want us to give you a go ahead to destroy another woman's home simply because you gave a sob story about being a widow and single mother at 25? Gerrarahia mehn
Eastwestern
N1, if u are not sure he loves u, leave. N2, u re on ur own o. Someone's husband. Na only u Waka come o.
ReplyDeletePoster 1: move on already, instead of acting desperate.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: get a job, work hard and learn valuable skills at work that will now aid you when you start your own business. Leave the married man alone and don't settle for less either. Enjoy being single and take care of your child. When you are mentally and financially stable,the best man for you will come. Good luck.
Poster one be patient. If nothing comes out then take A̶̲̥̅̊ walk.
ReplyDeleteFirst I want to know - if you have a bf for the next five yrs and five yrs on you aren't married and you have no bf for the next five yrs and you aren't still married, which one amounts to waste of your time? Men are always in the driving seat becos they more often than not have an idea where they are going as they set forth, but women don't in spite of their braggadocio. They young man is doing friendship which you both agreed at the time of kick starting your relationship. But you unilaterally believe that it has turned to a highway to marriage and so want to force him to change his plan into yours. Okay, since you want him to marry him when his plan isn't marriage at this time, propose to him and if he refuses go and find another. The saying is he who finds.... Yes you have found a husband but trust me guy has not found a wife yet otherwise he would have proposed to even take you on credit officially in order not to muss out because of money.
ReplyDeleteP2
You must be stupid to bring your personal greed greed to the public dormain seeking opinions and still warn ppl to tell you only the things you want to hear, he who bring an ant infested fagot home should expect a dance with lizards.so if you are averse to criticism, dont go public. So nobody should be detered by her warning. That said, losing a husband is an experience no one should have no matter how bad the man is perceived to be but losing a husband at the prime is some terrible thing one should not wish his worst enemy. But young lady you are a typical woman and like a typical woman you don't reflect and learn. Every woman dreams of a blissful heavenly marriage but not every woman ends up having one.And most times it's not anyone's making. That's the different between fantasy and reality. Women are so obsessed about riches and claims of suffering that they suffer too much in a bit to land a rich man and run away from suffering. Who said that all the rich ppl have a sweeter more fulfilling lives than the not rich ppl?. If you sit and reflect on your life, you will know that a life today can be lost tomorrow, money today can be lost tomorrow and lack today can be lost tomorrow. No body will do it for you. Take your decision and live with it.
Poster 2:it is important to know your stand in a relationship the first 6months,I have a friend who dated a guy for 2yrs while they were dating he engaged and married another girl without her consent ,it was his friend that felt pity for her and broke the news to her,she lost weight in two days and was devastated...and the girl he married they dated for just 3months..so u see the importance of knowing your stand early
ReplyDeletePoster 2 #No to poverty
Narrative 1; please take a walk. if a man can't make up his about the name to attach to the relationship he shares behind closed and when its open with you, its shame on his part. After all, he tells you love stories when its you two together. If he's not proud to let whoever asks to know where you stand then you aren't STANDING at all.
ReplyDeleteNarrative 2: Being someones mistresses is as good as selling your body unless I'm getting it twisted. Do not despise the days of little beginnings. You may have been exposed to the good life but whatever you've been through should make you a better person if you do it right looking up to God/setting Godly standard. He is the perfecter of every good thing.
Ladies except your heart is the national cake and you don't mind sharing it to every Chinedu, Bayo and Bello then you need to kindly click
Ladies: Enough with the "he broke my heart," let's get the twist straightened out.
Poster 1:it is important to know your stand the first 6month in a relationship, I have a friend who dated a guy for 2yrs,while they where dating her supposed bf engaged and married another girl without her consent it was his friend that felt pity for her and broke the news to her,and the girl he married they only dated for 3months....so you see why it's important to know your stand early
ReplyDeletePoster 2:#team no to poverty
P1: Be patient If you think it'll be worth it or leave. I don't know about his financial situation or the cause of delay but I draw a line at 2 years. You can either spread your wings and fly or stay and cast your fishing net . Men don't usually have just one gf.
ReplyDeleteP2: Geerrraaarrrraahhheeerree!!!!!! !
You were lucky enough to get money for your business but you want to ruin someone else's home because of your greed ? I understand you want to lead a good life but is it worth the pain you'll cause another ? Or the drama you'll be inviting into your life? Have you considered that your child may be abused in this situationship ?
If you don't like your suitors, keep searching until you find someone who's comfortable and in a similar situation.
Finally Chronicles. Lemme go back and read now.
ReplyDeletePoster1, woman, you had better end that relationship.
ReplyDeletePlease get urslf some self esteem. Before I got married to my hubby, I dated this guy that was something else. He alwz introduce me as his friend to his friends even wen dey ask na the madam? he will say just friends. I started introducing him as a frend too. This guy dealt me with me emotionally to the extent that I can't slp at nite. The worst embarrassment was wen I held him outside and asked someone to snap us, you needed to see how he quickly separated himself from me. I felt so embarrassed that day. The worst part is dat, he is very secretive to the extent that, we will be together and his frends that I know will come and he will tell me that his coming. He will walk away and go meet dem. I became curious and was wondering why he did all that.
But when the day of last mercy came, I didn't look back dumping his sorry ass. I broke up with him on vals day after giving him a nice fuck that up till now he hasn't forgotten.
Before I wedded, he asked me to break up my engagement to marry him that he was ready to marry. I told him is too late. I've moved on a long tym ago. I saw my hubby a month after I broke up with him and my hubby came to see my parents 3months into our courtship. he started accusing me of double dating, I answered I gree!!.
He was so restless, he wanted me back. so much drama, that he told his mom abt me, he was ill advised by frends, he wanted to propose after his frends wedding, this and that. My dear, I was long gone and other things were STORY!!
Now am happily married very Happy. That's wat u benefit wen u grow some sense and self esteem. My dear pls dump his weak prick pls.
Poster2: Do unto others as you want them to do unto you. Maybe you have an evil spirit that is killing the men in your life. You want another woman to be a widow abi? Pls leave pple's hubby alone longer throat. Go and work!! there's nothing there in supporting your partner with love. I support my hubby financially in the house. we share bills and that alone gives me High respect in the family. And I gladly and happily do it bec of love. You can't sit there and wait for already made this all the tym. How den can you value them wen u don't sweat to have them.
Please give yourself some respect by hitting the street to make your own money to sustain ur child. My hubby keeps telling me every day that am the best woman in the whole world bec am hard working and supportive. I care so much abt him and his confident that, even if his no more, I can take gud care of his kids and family.
Please there's no excuse for being wickedly lazy.
Shikena!!1 if you like vex, I don talk my own finish. The truth is always better. Hit the street to make genuine money. Goodluck.
Poster1, woman, you had better end that relationship.
ReplyDeletePlease get urslf some self esteem. Before I got married to my hubby, I dated this guy that was something else. He alwz introduce me as his friend to his friends even wen dey ask na the madam? he will say just friends. I started introducing him as a frend too. This guy dealt me with me emotionally to the extent that I can't slp at nite. The worst embarrassment was wen I held him outside and asked someone to snap us, you needed to see how he quickly separated himself from me. I felt so embarrassed that day. The worst part is dat, he is very secretive to the extent that, we will be together and his frends that I know will come and he will tell me that his coming. He will walk away and go meet dem. I became curious and was wondering why he did all that.
But when the day of last mercy came, I didn't look back dumping his sorry ass. I broke up with him on vals day after giving him a nice fuck that up till now he hasn't forgotten.
Before I wedded, he asked me to break up my engagement to marry him that he was ready to marry. I told him is too late. I've moved on a long tym ago. I saw my hubby a month after I broke up with him and my hubby came to see my parents 3months into our courtship. he started accusing me of double dating, I answered I gree!!.
He was so restless, he wanted me back. so much drama, that he told his mom abt me, he was ill advised by frends, he wanted to propose after his frends wedding, this and that. My dear, I was long gone and other things were STORY!!
Now am happily married very Happy. That's wat u benefit wen u grow some sense and self esteem. My dear pls dump his weak prick pls.
Poster2: Do unto others as you want them to do unto you. Maybe you have an evil spirit that is killing the men in your life. You want another woman to be a widow abi? Pls leave pple's hubby alone longer throat. Go and work!! there's nothing there in supporting your partner with love. I support my hubby financially in the house. we share bills and that alone gives me High respect in the family. And I gladly and happily do it bec of love. You can't sit there and wait for already made this all the tym. How den can you value them wen u don't sweat to have them.
Please give yourself some respect by hitting the street to make your own money to sustain ur child. My hubby keeps telling me every day that am the best woman in the whole world bec am hard working and supportive. I care so much abt him and his confident that, even if his no more, I can take gud care of his kids and family.
Please there's no excuse for being wickedly lazy.
Shikena!!1 if you like vex, I don talk my own finish. The truth is always better. Hit the street to make genuine money. Goodluck.
Why commenting boldly as an innocent fool , pple say a lot of things dey can't settle for, d lady in question might be better than u, idiot. U dt judge so fast in certain issues because u might do worst things wen u re in the person shoes without knowing it. "Maybe u have an evil spirit killing dem" na God go punish u and d stupid husband u charmed into marrying u. I undastd d lady confused state of mind. And ur bad mouth won't change anything. Happily married my ass. EWU
DeleteU tried making a point and finally disgraced urself by telling her dat she have an evil spirit dat kills husbands, as per judge or as per a better person. U be mugu, for ur mind , u be better person. Tnk ur stars dat ur juju worked on d man and he finally married u, if not ....,,,., hmmmmmmmmmn. Just wondering d animal u would turned to. Stupid old fool
DeleteWho knows d atrocities u committed when single, now u re forming righteous . Cow
DeletePoster 1 no rush am ooooo cos to give ring tk engage or introduce u to him people no be yardstick say him go marry oooo some guys fit give like 4 chicks ring oo but na d one wey dem like dem go marry last last.
ReplyDeletePoster 1 I know you have invested ur all in the relationship but pls I'll advice u to trade carefully,introducing u to his parents or family members will amount to nothing if he is not ready to settle down, my ex introduced me to everybody around him I know his village,d boys serving him calls me madam and when he is not around I make decisions am living with him but his house is a bit close to mine,I speak for the sisters pertaining any matters as soon as the seek for my assistance,there is a ring on my finger etc at the time he said my mama say I should not marry from imo state after 3yrs but thank God am married with 4kids. So a word is enough for the wise.
ReplyDeleteposter 2 I detest any woman dat is dating a married man in fact I do pray for calamity upon her. Dis innocent woman u want to ruin her home wat was her offense to u or do you want to experience more sorrows. Money can never give you or make u happy. Haven't you see tormented gladness or do you want to experience it. Consider the one of the single guys or focus on ur child and re -discover urself.
Sharp woman. Ezigbo nwanyi Imo ibem. I've never for once considered ndi "mma anyi si" state before even when they cry blood that they have a say in their Family. I can't make that mistake mbok! Time wasters ka ha wu. Thank God u bounced back immediately.
DeleteOk am moved by the spirit of God to make this comment.poster 2, I just want you to do one thing and that will help you decipher on what exactly you will do.put yourself in the married woman's shoes.if. it okay for you which by the way is okay for some people, then go ahead and either take more money, sleep or get pregnant for him.you might be very pretty but the moment you get pregnant for him, he will get a prettier girl chic.check out his wife and you will know that she will also be pretty. Also put yourself in those guys shoes and if its ok then walk on it.my i only advice is first of all take care of your child and spoil him/her with love, get closer to God and he will give you a great guy that will live and appreciate you and then grow your business .goodluck and Godbless. Chichi
ReplyDelete