Stella Dimoko Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...


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Saturday, March 06, 2021

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...



Hi Stella.

Thank you for the good work you're doing on your blog. I've learnt a lot here.

Please I'm so upset right now. My younger sister(5 years) has been living with me for like 4 out of my 6 years of marriage. She had issues in school way back and has somehow refused to sort it out so she has no certificate. She always claims to be doing stuff, software developer ,etc and if you try to question her she flairs up. My mum always has her back though(long story) and she's the last born.

Sometime last year, I lent her my laptop to use for a while cos she got a job with a small company. I tried using it one day and snooped on her emails. I noticed she applied to my current work place and the previous place I worked which I left last year. She never told me. I confronted her and she got angry and we had a serious fallout. From the mail, I also noticed she sent out a lot of applications immediately I changed job and that was the time she applied to these companies. I also recall that after I told her about my new job, she also said she got one too and was due for training which never happened. 

So after the whole snooping, I started feeling she was envious but another part of me believed it was admiration since I'm her elder sis. I told my hubby and he said hes not comfortable with that behaviour, that she could have at least told me. That her going behind my back was suspicious. I moved on but became more cautious of information I divulge.

Before xmas break, I saw a mail from her company requesting for her credentials. Then a list of people yet to submit credentials and her name was there. From that time, I had a feeling she wouldn't last on that job.

Then for some weeks, since last month, I noticed she doesn't go to work anymore. But i didn't ask cos I knew it would lead to quarrels(any inquiry in her work or academics always ends in quarrels) and I've decided since the last time to stop asking. She just stays home, talks to white people on phone(her bf does yahoo) and catches up on Instagram and Netflix. I work from home some times so that's how I know. Also this my present job is much better than the previous and we live better too. We got a lot of gadgets last year.

Few days ago, she told me someone from my company called her and said someone recommended her to him from LinkedIn. I asked her what about her job or has she stopped cos I don't see her laptop anymore. She said she's still there but plans to leave cos staff turnover is high.
I confirmed to her that the guy is from my company. She said they scheduled her for interview and she asked me if they allow siblings to work together. I told her I wouldn't know since I don't go by my maiden name.

She did the interview and asked them the sibling question and from there mentioned I'm her sister. She told me all of this and I was cool. Then I later thought of it and got worried. My thoughts were what if she gets the job and they request for credentials and she starts acting funny, it would affect my integrity at work cos they might assume I was the one that asked her to apply. And I'm really doing well on this job with great potentials for growth. 

I went to her room and asked her how she intends to do the certificate thing and she said she never hides the fact that it's not available.

 Then I told her if she doesn't hide it, how come her workplace was making demands. I also told her I'm certain she's not there anymore cos of same reason. She flared up and I told her I wouldn't want such embarrassment and besides if she doesn't want to be asked questions(which I stopped doing for a long while) she shouldn't have bothered telling me. 

I need urgent advice so I don't worsen the situation. I wanted to involve my elder sisters but I know it could escalate. I'm really upset and worried.

Please advice me .

*I dont get it, Why does she have to apply in the companies you work in?
where is her Certificate? Are you sure she graduated?

You need to report her to the others she fears and respects so they can find out what is actually wrong with her and what she is hiding.
Good luck.


  1. Hi Stella.
    Tnx for posting.
    I'm the poster. She did not graduate,was supposed to graduate in 2015. For clarity,he's 28 and I'm 33.

    1. Don't wake up! Be doing admire me sister till she throws you out of that office.

      Now listen up, there are ALWAYS people who want what u have! Such people are very dangerous!

      They can be anyone ( friend, sibling, colleague, class mate, worker, even parent).

      Once you discover someone is always obsessing over what you have, please be careful of that person. If it becomes uncomfortable, CONFRONT with your FULL chest and trash it out! They will call you names, but who cares?

      Even such people can't help themselves! It's your job to PROTECT yourself!

      Good evening!

    2. You are babying this your sibling too much. It's time for her to go. She will cause more serious problems for you soon, mark my word.

    3. Poster, 4 out of your 6 years of marriage ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿคท
      A 28 years old lady is marrying your husband with you.
      Where is the privacy, couples time, peace that passes all understanding as married couple.
      If it were your hubby's sister now, I'm sure this conversation wouldn't have been going on, bcus you would have done the needful and ask her to grow up while showing her the door/exit.
      Women, women...
      How sad and pathetic. Wait till she robes you into her yahoo online business for your home is her online address incase you don't know.

    4. At 28, I had had my 2 children and closed that chapter and I had traveled to at least 5 countries. I married. I had about 6/7 years of work experience (even as I did a 5 year course and one year in a professional school). My point is that I had my life together at least to an extent.

      Be very careful of this babe. Her boyfriend is yahoo. They can scan your company with information they receive or take from you.

      Must she live with you? Let her go to other siblings. You’ve tried. Let her go to her parents and sort her life out. Yes, she could be jealous of you too. It my have started with admiration and escalated to comparison and jealousy.

      I have a problematic sister like this but thank God she likes to stay on her own and cut off from us till she needs us. We have stayed in the same town in this Lagos for well over a year and not seen each other. You invite her for family functions or outings and she doesn’t show up.

      Escalate to your reasonable siblings and calmly push for her to leave your house . And YES, if she misbehaves at your office, it will affect your reputation. She didn’t even have to tell them she was your sister. She could have left it out. My cv doesn’t show that I’m married, on purpose.

      Be careful. I know siblings like this because I have one. She’s a ticking time bomb.

  2. Replies
    1. "Follow Stella's advice" kor. So you didn't read the chronicle to at least notice Stella missed the part poster said her sister didn't finish school and didn't go back to rectify it? You just rushed to be first to comment.

      Poster, these present generation of early/mid 20s and teens are crazy. You can't reason with them no matter how well you mean for them. I actually fear for the future on their behalf because they don't understand the difference between arrogance and confidence, humility and low self-esteem, smart and insincerity. Many of them are like that and I also have one in my house as I type and yes, her mum also supports her.

      My advice is you face front. No, it will not affect you if she misbehaves unless you try to deceive the company and cover up for her. Don't tarnish her chances. Allow HR do their due diligence, it's their duty.

      You drink water face front.

    2. I hope you get to read this poster but I think you need to mention something at your workplace about how you are not sure she has a certificate because when they do find out it will affect your reputation. It is hard to do but it is the only thing to save your name. Also, why is she staying with you for 4 out of 6 years in marriage? Why can't she stay with your other siblings too or your mom? That her behavior is shady, I'm sorry.

  3. It's quite obvious she didn't graduate hence she has no certificate.
    However, there are lots of firms out there these days that are interested in what you can do and not just certificates.
    Let her develop herself in those areas and improve on her skills too.
    Don't worry your head over your sister. She's an adult. Just play an advisory role.

    1. Advisory role? Did we read the same chronicle?

    2. Send her out of your house since she can't respect her elder sister whom she is living with and feeding from.

    3. Some younger ones hate correction and do not want to take advice from anyone

      They resent you for doing better than them and use anger to block being exposed

      Toxic siblings with envious "want what you have but not willing to put in the effort spirit"


  4. That's how they misbehave and turn to a pain in the arse later in life, running helter skelter looking for relatives to pick their Bills.

    1. You need to be careful with her in terms of telling her stuffs, since she has a yahoo as bf and working for him. You need to report her to your elder sister Or parents sef

    2. BB ure right o and you can't just do but help

  5. She has no certificate to show. That's so so obvious. She needs to come clean with what happened. She cannot keep avoiding the subject. Your company is eventually going to ask for those credentials. I suggest you call for a meeting with your mum and herself in attendance. This looks like a rift impending if not handled well. Goodluck.

  6. You can even inform your company HR that her certificate isn't yet available, and ask if she can still start without it. Act Like a concerned sister, just to protect own integrity and reputation later.

    Your sis is weird though.
    Besides I won't accommodate someone I know is involved in fraud.
    The day EFfc will trace her, you think you and your hubby will be spared?
    Also Imagine the news getting to your workplace? Even if you are eventually vindicated, the stigma might still be there.
    She should go and rent her own place and live as she pleases since she can't be advised or questioned.

    1. My thoughts exactly... her bf does Yahoo.. by the time efcc traces her to your home... hmmm. Be careful. Advice her to go back to school to finish up. Instead of putting up false information on her resume or lying by omission to get a job...

    2. #StopKidnappingOurSchoolChildren Phoenix6 March 2021 at 17:09

      Poster pls consider this advice

    3. Best response Yvonne, trouble de load,

  7. Why will u keep someone that you can't advise nor respect you at home? Your matrimonial home for that matter

    1. You should be more worried about the Yahoo nonsense. She is in your house helping her boyfriend with calls. The day EFFC go come, you and your husband will be arrested. That reputation you are singing about will be in the mud. If she is not ready to calm down and be rational, you only option would be to kick her out or tell your elder sisters.

    2. Send her out at once. What is she doing there? Single respect for you she doesn't have. Certificate she doesn't have. And you are walking on eggshells in your own house?
      God forbid bad thing.

  8. Is it safe for this your sister to be living with you? Seems like envy might make her go after the things you have worked for one day: your career or even your marriage.

    Also, I don't think it's wise for her to work in the same place as you, especially because of this certificate thing. If things go wrong, you'll be held liable and your career may be over.

    Also, I don't know how you can sleep knowing your sister living under your roof is dating a yahoo guy.

  9. This is total bull crappie. Your mother is the reason for all this nonsense, yes . Your mother over indulged her , live her , she'll change and all that bullshit , Bawo ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก

    She doesn't have any rights whatsoever to look for work at your workplace , wetin dey bring that one ๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿ‘Ž I can't deal, abeg .

    You need to be very careful of her , very corky and slimy ,WTF ๐Ÿ˜ˆ๐Ÿ˜ˆ๐Ÿ˜ˆ You just have to address it with your mum and your elder siblings or better still,tell her to go stay with your mom.

    ALWAYS FEELING LIKE EZE ONYE AGWALA M ( King nobody should talk to me ) , in my own house , MBANU ,KOLE WORK ๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜Ž

    1. She try oh,last born my foot, and na me de feed you and yet I can't talk to you,abeg two captain can run a ship oh

  10. This one she's always wanting what you have...hmmmmm! I hope your husband is a responsible and disciplined man sha ooo. Her behaviour is not healthy at all.

  11. First thing first,kick he out of your house with alacrity. She can't live under your roof and treat you with utter disrespect. Why can't she get her own place?

    Why did she mention that she is related to you? You sister is a witch. Not the type in Edo. The type that is full of envy and bitterness. My younger brother is like that and I gave him an arm's length. I noticed he is so jealous of me and he found it difficult to hide it. I had to cut him off. I realized that blood isn't always thicker than water. Cut your sister off. Kick her out. Do whatever it is you have to do, but get her out of your space.

    The fact that she is working with her boyfriend to scam white people should be a source of concern to you. When EFCC comes to pick her up, you and your husband won't be spared. She doesn't admire you, she is green with envy. Kick her out before it's too late.

    You can't stop her from getting envious of you, but you can save yourself a lot of trouble by staying away from her.

    1. Send her back to the mother who is her legal counsel

      Let them continue to deceive themselves, since deceit is the lifestyle they have chosen

      Also start ajo or contribution towards bail money for when the wahala comes

  12. Jeez. This story is so familiar, only this time, it’s my Mum’s youngest sister that’s in place of your sister. My Grandma is her enabler, and is forever in support of her BS. She used to live with my parents before I was born, and according to what I heard from my Mum and other Aunty, anytime she wanted something, she’ll threaten that if she her request is not granted, she’ll die, she was and is still such a drama queen. Refused to further her education, refused to learn a skill, she just goes about chasing married men with and lying about being pregnant. I can’t count how many times she has lied that she had babies and they died. Nobody ever knows when she gives birth to these so called babies. There are times she’ll go more than a year, and nobody will hear from her or know where she is. The last straw was when she started working for a socialite as her PA, she brought her boyfriend in to work as a driver, and both of them started stealing from this woman. They were caught and then started a very long police case. See the matter is long.

    I’ll advise you talk to your other siblings about it, and make a decision to have her out of your house. There’s no telling what she can do to y’all. You shouldn’t even let such a toxic person be around your kids. Guard yourself ma’am. My mum didn’t guard herself enough, she was always looking for ways to make her sister change and make better decisions, she paid with her life. GUARD YOURSELF SIS!!!

    1. Ooooh๐Ÿ˜ญmay God Almighty rest her soul,Poster abeg receive sense oh before it's too late

    2. This story here is so pathetic. God , rest your mum's soul . Evil siblings everywhere . Mtchweee ๐Ÿ˜Ž ๐Ÿ˜Ž ๐Ÿ˜Ž

    3. Amen. Thank you.

  13. Send her out of your house. Let her take her nonsense somewhere else. She sounds so entitled. This is how she will go get pregnant and start things she can’t finish then expect you to foot her bills

  14. The boy recently employed in my place of work as an IT personnel has only his references and WAEC result no higher education and he is payed higher than an MSc graduate becos he is IT. It is well oo....

    1. Atleast the boy acquired IT training. This one is an empty shell.

    2. @Blackberry, ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
      Empty shell indeed, chai

  15. You have being married for 6 years and you have a younger sister who is 5 years your essence, when u we're her age you were married. So what stops her from getting married, having her own home and behaving the way she likes there?

    See eeh, the issue dey your hand. First, inform your sisters of this development not until when everything scatters they will now blame u for not informing them on time, also tell your mum( though she will support her) but let there be proof that u did all these so when utake your decision nobody will say you didn't tell them ab initio.

    Lastly, your sis should go stay with your mum or any of of your other sisters, you have tried. Having her that long in your matrimonial home isn't such a good idea especially as she isn't a cool headed type. She should leave now before she causes you more harm than just your work place, your marriage might not survive it.

  16. Your Sister is a Spoilt brat and has no iota of respect for you and if you keep indulging her and don’t send her out of your House she will put you and your Husband inside big trouble some day! Can you imagine the embarrassment she can put you to if you work in the same office. Be very careful with your passwords and laptop because I suspect she must used your Linked in Account to send the recommendation to your Company. She has a very bad attitude and shows signs of jealousy by always applying to where you work behind your back for that matter! Send her out of your House! A word is enough for the wise!

  17. I don't think that's jealousy, I think it's admiration and the fact she wants to be like you, she looks up to u, and for her flaring up when asked for her results it's shame, she is embarrassed that she is a drop out or the circumstances behind it, and the judgements that would come, give her peace and leave talking about her academics, as for ur workplace u can talk to the management about the fact she doesn't have results but that might further strain ur relationship, and as for the Yahoo boy relationship she needs to do better Biko ...

  18. See how easy for your husband to accept your sister to live with you for four years, if the reverse was the case, you will start quoting "a man shall leave his family to cleave with his wife".

    1. 18:14 you echoed my thoughts.
      Poster, why is your sister living with you and your husband❓

      I'm a lady and the last child. When I left home, I went to live with my schoolmate. We've been friends from secondary school but did not attend the same University.
      I got a job within that year though the pay was small, rented a two-bedroom apartment with a colleague.
      Two years later, through another secondary friend (my bestie), I got a far better paying job in the same organization.

  19. I never knew sibling rivalry and jealousy was a thing until I got served.
    My husbands younger brother wants me and did everything to put me down whilst pretending to care for his brother.
    Thankfully their common friends could tell as I couldn’t defend myself when he hit hard.
    Poster, what I see is jealousy not admiration, delete yourself safely from that equation cos you have everything to loose here.

  20. Send that disrespectful spoilt brat out of your house..why did she inform them she is your sister..Let your HR know you were not aware she applied for the job..o and inform them about the certificate a family meeting on her head.

  21. 1st things 1st. Your sister has no reason to be living with you. If it was your husband’s sister now, you will not have this much patience. You all should learn to treat people the same. Tell your sister to move out of your house. You are the cause of her problem. You know are bf is into yahoo and you are aiding and abetting the crime. You are part of the problem o. When she goes stay in a place that does not have much comfort, her brain will reset. Last born my foot. Be there opening your eyes let soap enter. Your husband is being calm about it and that has not given u sense. Ok no p.

    1. You know *are* bf is into yahoo"..... ๐Ÿคจ
      I guess you meant 'her'.

      You write well but the 'h' slip up is messing it up.

      Please, consciously work on it.

  22. I am more concerned about the fact that she doesn’t tell u about these applications and u have to discover these yourself ! Why is she not telling you? Pls ask her

  23. I am more concerned about the fact that she doesn’t tell u about these applications and u have to discover these yourself ! Why is she not telling you? Pls ask her

  24. I am more concerned about the fact that she doesn’t tell u about these applications and u have to discover these yourself ! Why is she not telling you? Pls ask her

  25. Poster, you need to watch the movie 'blood Sisters'. Pay attention to how the good sister ended up. Good luck

  26. Nobody sets out to get a job and jeopardize themself. If the company don’t accept sibling, it will work against her cos you’re in already. I see her trying to destroy what’s going on for you and it’s bad. Act fast before it’s too late

  27. Since i know the person who called her.I would talk to the person and bring it up in a conversation face to face before it blows up and they think you're shady too..

  28. Dear poster, I am really worried about you, see the Bible preaches wisdom! Be wise. You need to first send that girl outta your house ASAP! This maybe hard but you really need to do it. Sibling rivalry is real! Your mum knows but supports her because truth is she cannot handle staying with her and taking all her BS. They chose you because they feel you are weak (I'm talking from experience) . That your husband is not complaining may just be out of love and respect for you not that he is comfortable with her presence or issues. Please do something fast. Let her go live with other siblings or live alone.

    2. I suggest you go to HR and just like she slyly dropped your name as her sis, you too quickly go and do damage control by explaining that you did not ask her to apply and some other things you know will save your job and name when they finally discover who she really is because I wonder if this same sister will care about your reputation by the time this s**t hits the roof. Not if but when, cos surely it will.

    God saved me! The reverse was the case for me cos she was my older sister. The things that happened I can't even type all but I bore it all even when she left her marriage and said she wanted to come me live with me fully. Our mum even called and said it was a good decision on her part. I thought about it and I say that God intervened because for the first time something just told me to tell her no she can't live with me. A can of worms was opened from that refusal. OMo, the things she said ehn, ah! By the time she was done insulting me that day, I learnt two things, jealousy from close family members is real! Sibling rivalry/envy is real even when one party had no idea they are hated! Mind you she is way older than me,a graduate, working, got married a good 11 years before I did, so I felt what can I possibly have or achieve that she could want but I was dead wrong! I got to know she did not feed my in-laws at our wedding reception(she put herself in charge of food, I didn't even read any meaning to it on that day). Her thought was that they'll hate me and I'll start having issues in my home, but that didn't work at least in her opinion.

    She said she wished I won't have children.

    She called me a witch because I kept escaping all the things she thought would ruin me. She said my hubby is the kind of man she dreamed to marry, egbami ke! So many things she said! I was dumbfounded!

    She said I have it good compared to her, me o, who looked up to her.

    You see the love I have for God who who saved me when I didn't even know I had enemies, I keep telling everyone who has ears that there is God!

    Dear poster, you may be related to people and mean well for them BUT the question is do they mean well for you too? Would they cry if you were hurt Or would they move on like nothing happened?

    Now I show them love from afar, our house is a no go area. My hubby said he knew I had a good heart so he prayed I would learn before I get hurt really bad. Story of my life.

    God will give you wisdom to handle this well๐Ÿ™

  29. Poster you need to love this your sister from far cos she doesn't mean well for you. If she has issues in school she should go sort it out or start from afresh, what is wrong with your family members finding out about your issues in school.

    If you can afford an accommodation for her please do, if you can get her a laptop please do. Do not spoil your integrity because you want to help your sister because when the chips are down she will not assist you.

  30. All of you cannot read. The sister is a tech guru, abi what does the company want to employ her as? A cleaner?. It's good she came out straight about having a sister in the company so as not to cause trouble for her in the future, in case they discover on their own.

    Poster, your sister must not go to school, as long as she gets certification in some ITs, it can even be an online training.
    You can tell her to leave your house in a cool manner, or better still give her money to rent an apartment.
    Tell her to choose between you and her fraud boyfriend, that's the number one thing you should have been worried about but apparently, you are so self absorbed to believe that everything is about you.
    Lastly, she is not jealous of you, she is proud of the woman you have become and want to end up exactly like you. That's not jealousy, that's admiration. Know the difference.

    Don't listen to the people from polygamous homes telling you about sibling rivalry, that's not your case from your write up.

    Please talk to her like an adult and with love. I'm sure if you speak her like you would your child, she will definitely listen and understand.

    1. 08:02 you are very naive!๐Ÿคฆ‍♀️
      Sibling rivalry happens even between twins.

      Were Cain and Abel from a polygamous family?

      What of Esau and Jacob who were twins?

      Let me bring it home, what about the fight between popular Nigerian musical duo that are twins?


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