Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

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Tuesday, April 13, 2021

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

Hmmmm......









STAND ALONE NARRATIVE

IF I KNEW BACK THEN WHAT I KNOW NOW...


Hello Stella of life,

Your Boredom eliminating post on advising a younger sister if one had to pushed me to send in my life's story. I once sent a testimony to you, but here is my life at a glance.


I come from a family of 7:2 boys and 3 girls. I happen to be the last girl and the boys came after me. My father is a well known public figure who prefers to be good to outsiders, more than he is to his wife and children.

My secondary school days were hell, as I had to work in people's farms to be able to transport myself to school, even when I was taking my SSCE. To my father, the moment you managed to finish SSCE, you were on your own, whether you made it or not, he did not care.


In my own case, my result was ceased and I had no option other than to start the business of selling OK(fairly used clothes) with my meagre savings. No need asking about my mum, her case is a story for another day. From my business I was able to buy a GCE form, without my dad's support, and I made my papers, excluding English where I had only a pass.


 I asked my dad to sponsor my university education but he refused and was adamant about it. He was a manager in a federal establishment and a graduate, but he allowed another married woman and her husband to use their jazz on him to forsake his family, while he was training theirs. I resigned myself to fate and started part-time studies in a polytechnic. My siblings all stopped at SS3 after WAEC and he did not care.


When it was time for my IT,I stayed with my elder sister, who was married by then. Here, I encountered another challenge; her husband raped me. I could not tell my sister for fear of breaking her home, knowing where we were coming from. I left her place and went back home without completing my IT or giving her a reason for leaving.

I enrolled for my HND and was still struggling with my business to make ends meet.I graduated with a lower credit.


My elder sister now called that since I had managed to finish school, that I should come and stay with her so that they could help me secure a job. Meanwhile, my father was offering jobs to people on a platter of gold, but cared less about his children. I obliged and moved to her base, believing it had been years and that that animal of a husband of hers had repented. 


Yes, he secured a job for me but barely 6 months of living with them, he came again and I asked him a question: "If your brother was doing this with your wife, would you be happy?". He told me it is a normal thing and that many have been doing it. At this point, I knew I had to move again, I confided in my sister's best friend who told me to move without telling my sister, so as to leave the marriage intact. I did not inform my sister of my moving out till I was able to find my own house and furnish it. 


The day I wanted to pack out, I told my mum and dad and they were surprised. I bought a carton of wine on the eve of my moving out and presented it to my sister and her hubby, to appreciate them for helping me secure a job. He rejected the drinks and my sister was crying, that seeing her present condition(as she was heavily pregnant),why have I decided to move at that time. I offered to come and take her children every weekend, as I was comfortable by then, but her hubby refused. I moved without looking back and switched jobs, before he comes to frustrate me, so he became powerless over me.


Please bear with me for my long story. It is for you to understand where I am coming from.

On my marriage, which has brought about the story of my life, which I have to cut short because it is not worth remembering. I am actually married to a pastor, who was not a pastor prior to our marriage. I first met him,7years before our marriage, when he told me that God told him that I was his wife. I laughed it off and went my way. When the disturbances became too much, I took my then man-friend and introduced to him and his word to us that day were:" Be careful of God's anger, the woman you are dating is my wife".
I had forgotten all about him till fate brought us together again, after 7 years.


I had become so comfortable that I owned a car, had traveled to a few African countries, sent our last baby abroad and was caring for my aged foolish dad(which his puppet-my mum forced me to do) and even built him a house, just for the sake of my mum and two brothers. My immediate elder sister's life is a mess till today, all thanks to our dad.




The journey of my life makes me a loner, as I have never opened up to anyone to this extent. The few friends I managed to have, especially ladies, became my worst enemies. I never knew they were friends from hell. I bottle up a lot, till date.


Back to my marriage story, I survived an accident and went to church for thanksgiving. I never invited this my husband, as I neither had his contact nor even knew his name, but someone I invited sent him as his representative.
On that day,a prophecy came about him, he was the first to be ministered to and that was how I knew he came. I was surprised to see him but cared less as he was not on my guests' list. After service, I entertained my guests and church members and left for the day. I was in my office when the pastor called to see me, I told him I will come when I was less busy. On getting to the pastor's office, I was told a message came for me that 'God said I rejected his Son 7yrs ago that it is now my turn to look for him'. I was surprised and was asked to go pray that God should speak to me .......Stella, the story plenty.


Here we are, I am married to a brother turned pastor with a genuine call, but poor. I practically run the family alone, I bought him the car he drives, I fund the ministry that gives people their testimonies and they disappear. When I complain about this, he tells me that the people he will use to bless the ministry have not come.


I was running my home and that of my immediate younger brother plus my mum all alone without any help. I lost my son and lost my mum exactly one year after my son's demise, before my rainbow baby came in 2019 at age 43 and I am currently 24weeks gone at 45.I have never taken any fertility drugs all my life, that is why I know God is faithful. Yes, I married a poor man who is too good and faithful to his God and me. I contemplated divorce on many occasions because of the load on me, but the word of God I know held me back. My finances are grounded because I was unable to save due to family burden before the travel industry was hit by coronavirus from 2020 till date.


If I knew a way now that one could ask for a second chance, I doubt if I would marry him.


To that advice on the BEP, if I had a younger sister, I would advice her to:
1. NEVER marry below her status.
2. Marry a Godly man but try to know what chased/pursued him to God.
3. Look for a man that can hold his circle tight and, above all, a man that fears God and not the one that loves God.




Hmmmmm Marry a man that fears God and not one that loves God? WOW!

One can ask God for a second chance from his will? Thank you for this interesting Narrative...

113 comments:

  1. Thanks for this ma.

    God be with you and your family.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe it's your cross
      Maybe you are blessed to take care of your hubby while he does the work of God.
      But the bible makes me believe if God truly called you, he sends help and makes you rich...so this your hubbys own i don't understand, dint he go to school?

      I don't like when church's tell people things like, this is your hubby or God is angry with this or that.
      Please don't marry below your educational, class and financial standard o that thing can be frustrating.

      Delete
    2. Don't marry below your status!!!

      Word!

      Delete
  2. This is exactly the story of someone I know a relative, pastor pastor up and down, the wife has been carrying the load of the house more than 10years now with kids... Very lazy and full of pride..

    There's a difference between a man that lost his job in-between the marriage and one who is into the ministry full time allowing the wife carrying all the load alone.. it's well.. indi God says you're my wife, pastor Siri this and that, Una no go see me!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. That ur last line no be am at all...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. At all at all

      Very contradictory statetement

      To love God is to fear God now...

      Delete
    2. I guess she meant to say marry a man that loves and fears God as well.
      Most people claim to love God, but still outrightly go the wrong way. One who fears God will not disregard Him and sin outrightly.
      But the truth is, they both go hand in hand. If you love God, you will respect and revere Him and you will find it difficult to offend Him.

      Delete
  4. Yes,i believe you can ask God for a second chance from his will.

    ReplyDelete
  5. If we understand that there is a spiritual body and there is a natural
    body (1 Cor. 15:44), we will understand this thing that happens to (mostly) men. Same way the natural boy can be kidnapped, is same way the spiritual body can be kidnapped.
    You cannot begin to blame a kidnapped man for not remembering his family; can you?
    The kidnappers of the natural bodies are natural human beings payed by humans. The kidnappers of the spiritual body are spirits, which humans go to mediums to pay to do the job.
    Yes, I had an attempted kidnap when I was engaged to a very fine and faithful girl. Because I knew
    my Lord, Jesus, I knew it was coming and I knew the antidote; the ransom.
    I began to fast and pray the moment I noticed that I was getting uncontrollably fixated about the strange girl that showed up from the blues. My fiancee also joined me to fast. After a week of fasting, the strange girl vanished!
    So, I tell this poster and anyone that is experiencing this. If your spouse or spouse to be is suddenly interested in another person, lady or man. You got to pay the ransom or
    fight for his/her release! That is the way to go. You've got to fast and call upon Jesus. Sulking and hating won't help it.

    Same way that

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 15:18, did you read the story or are you just on auto comment?
      She didn’t say her hubby has eyes for a strange woman, infact she actually said he’s faithful to God and to her.
      She only complained that he’s not pulling his weight financially and the burden is too much for her especially since some of her siblings still depend on her.

      Delete
    2. @17:29
      If you read the story, you will discover that I was talking about her father, not the husband.
      Her father she said, "allowed herself to be taken by a strange woman"
      So who did not read the story?

      Delete
    3. 18.10.

      “ So, I tell this poster and anyone that is experiencing this. If your spouse or spouse to be is suddenly interested in another person, lady or man. You got to pay the ransom or
      fight for his/her release! That is the way to go. You've got to fast and call upon Jesus”

      This was your comment. Poster is complaining about her husband and you’re advising her about her father? You said up there that if anyone’s spouse is looking at strange people outside, then they should be prayed for, is the poster’s father her spouse?

      Instead of you to be truthful that you didn’t read properly, you’re trying to defend yourself with a watery argument and yet you’re quoting bible and calling Jesus...SMH

      Delete
    4. @20:53
      She complained that her "growing up was hell," her dad did not take care of her and siblings. If you read from the beginning and if you studied psychology like I did, you will know that this is where this lady's problems began.
      Try not to be too shallow in your reasoning.

      Delete
    5. 22.36 don't mind these oversabi. Thanks for sharing your experience jare.

      Delete
    6. What is this one saying?

      Delete
  6. You are a strong woman! I pray God comes through for you in many ways.

    All ye who continue to rape young girls and vulnerable people under your care, your end is coming.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hian! We have schizophrenic BVs in today's comment section o.

      Delete
  7. What does loving God mean in this aspect. Stop with this ignorance
    To love God is to fear him, he has been making a way for your family through you. It is not by might or by power, go and beg God for this horrible mindset.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I also married a man, who is from a wealthy family but chose to have nothing to do with his family's wealth.
    He wanted not to be controlled by them so that he will be able to fulfill
    his calling from God. That is a man I desired, a man that has his own mind.
    You can describe him as "poor" but he is very rich in Christ. For a man's wealth does not depend on the abundance of his possessions. Wealth can be deceitful. "I" footed more than 80% of the wedding cost. I put "I" in quote because, we had a common finance as well as everything else.
    I am the only one earning presently and I don't complain. I love doing it. I love my husband and kids and will do everything to keep supporting them from the means God has given us.
    If we understand that every good and perfect gift comes from God, we won't be chanting all these "my money, his money." Our attitude to life will be, "thank you Lord for the money you gave to this blessed family through me". When I saw beautiful projects he did while at home, I urged him to have us sponsor it, not necessarily to earn but to give him a sense of fulfilment in his labor.
    You can choose in life to be happy or to be sad. I am more than happy I married him, I have joy in my marriage, he gives me peace.
    πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mummy G.O. Any man of God that lets you pay for 80 percent of a wedding and also makes you the bread winner of HIS home is a very lazy man. Let him put ministry aside and go and hustle. Lazy men hiding under the canopy of religion. Did your Bible not tell you the man is the head of the Home? Continue deceiving yourselves.

      Chai. Some women mumu no dey do. You better wake up and smell the coffee. Buy properties in your name and your children's name before it's too late.

      Delete
    2. I like anon up there she said he’s a good man and gives her peace what more can a woman ask for. Some of you sponsor homes that gives you shit. God bless you madam and one day God will open doors of success to you husband amen

      Delete
    3. @16:40
      By the Grace of God, years down the line in our marriage, we can buy up a whole street in
      Lagos. I said "we" not "I" because everything God has given me is his and vice versa.
      The carnal mind cannot understand the things of God . . . Give your life to Jesus and you will
      understand it. Shalom.😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁

      Delete
    4. Please scroll down and read anonymous 17.23's story. I hope yours don't turn out like that. I know your type. I once worked with someone like you. You will work and work, while your husband pastor will eat your work tire. May God give you wisdom.

      Delete
    5. Mummy G.O wey Mumu. Mtscheww

      Delete
    6. Anon 15.17, your eye go soon clear

      Delete
    7. @19:25
      Why are you riled up over what is not your concern? She says he gives her peace. Build or scatter your own house and leave another woman who is enjoying her marriage alone. Fake prophet of doom. Na wa for some women o. Busy bodies.

      Delete
    8. Anony16:40 and 19:25, why is it paining you people. Everyone has what is working for them. Anony 16:40 is quoting one scripture in the Bible to diprove Anony 15:27 bliss. Continue to quote there. Anony 15:27 has held onto the part of the scripture that give her and her family bliss. Why e dey pepper una when a woman dey enjoy her marriage?

      Delete
    9. I am the one who wrote at 15:27
      I never wrote there that my husband is "a pastor"; or did I? Why do you all see God's calling as
      being a 'pastor?" My husband is a consummate professional and that is the profession that God called him to.
      I even mentioned "a project he did that we sponsored to make some income." I love him, he loves me, do you ladies
      have any problem with that? Our kids that are studying in the US are even the ones talking about investing for dad
      and mom. You do not know me and you judge me based on whatever is on your mind? Wow!πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•

      Delete
    10. Are you same anon on a boredom eliminating post that claims to be a working class wife,while her hubby is a house husband and you both lov it that way?

      Wonderful!

      Delete
  9. Why do people look for prophesies up and down? Religion has messed up so many people's lives. Once someone comes close to me and says, God said I should tell you that, I usually pick race before that sentence is completed. I don't believe in such. I live my life with no stress. I believe the human brain is effective enough to know a good decision and a bad one. The mistakes we make is we tend to ignore the signs we see.

    ReplyDelete
  10. You cannot Love God without fearing him. The fear of God means that you obey his commands, you tremble at his Word. You cannot Love someone whom you do not obey.
    I find it absurd that this very man you described as "good," is denigrated in this manner because he does not have money. Not as if you are in lack. So what is it? πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. some women dont pray to be blessed financially, they are only happy if it is a man that is giving them the money but some also dont mind being the rich partner but they expect the man to so his part as the head which is okay, a man should go out and work and earn a living to support his family else he will be called an infidel.

      Delete
    2. I think the issue is that the poster's love language is that she should be taken care of. That need is not being met or fulfilled in her life, which leaves her aching for more. Maybe she has to learn to accept the man as is and maybe try to dwell on his good sides.

      Delete
    3. The poster deserves to be taken care of
      She has been a provider all her life, when would she rest biko?
      It's not fair now, after taking care of everyone who now takes care of her?
      It can be very draining

      Delete
    4. @Push
      Did the poster tell us that she is not being taken care of?
      When you tell me that your husband is "a good man," I don't know what else you desire.
      Why not buy whatever you need with the resources God has given you? She is just seeing the cup
      half empty instead of half full.

      Delete
  11. Very interesting narrative
    Have a safe delivery!

    ReplyDelete
  12. It is well with you and your family.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Please poster come and explain this your submission, "marry a man that fears God, not a man that loves God". Cos, me, I am not understanding.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am guessing she means that it is okay for a man to be godly but not to the point that he forsakes or upholds his faith above his family and home. This is arguable because I think total devotion to God is what the ideal is. However I know many pastor's wives who are very unhappy and unsatisfied in their marriages, for some dissatisfaction even extends to their kids. I think with wisdom and God's help a balance can be found.

      Delete
  14. Poster na wa for this your advice.

    ReplyDelete
  15. All you do is complain and complain. For once, thank God for his mercies. I am older than you, single and childless and yet i am still here. Abeg, you complain too much.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You feels she complain too much cos you are not in her shoes, get married and have kids then you will understand better.

      Delete
    2. Ahhh @Anon15:37, everyone's issue is relative to them...just because the poster's issue seems small to you, doesnt mean it aint a challenge to her...Your attitude sucks!

      Delete
    3. Please park well

      Delete
    4. 15.37 they will come and attack you for speaking the truth. Ignore them.

      We should learn to be THANKFUL in all circumstances.

      Delete
    5. Anon 15:37 That is life, people dont look at what they have most times, it is what they dont have that bothers them.

      Delete
  16. It's really sn interesting read. May we not make a mistake now that will affect our tomorrow. God bless you ma

    ReplyDelete
  17. I feel your pains,my sister. God will never forsake you for the many good things you've done for people.Believe that you wmare alive for a purpose. I'm thirty and still single.no savings because of helping immediate family members..This your advice will go a long way to teach us to marry wisely.. I know it isn't a bad idea to marry a poor person but is he/she hardworking?..

    ReplyDelete
  18. Dear poster sorry oh but I seem not to comprehend maybe because of the heat eh...did you eventually marry the pastor that said you were his wife or another man? please kindly clear this confusion. Dalu

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aunty iz not heat that is doing you o. Where people have reached the garden of gethsemane in terms of comprehension you still dey Ikeja along,

      Your own na follow come.

      Delete
  19. Word! Safe delivery. It is well

    ReplyDelete
  20. What happens to a man that loves God?...loving God does not mean poverty nah

    Things will definitely get better Madam, the only problem with your finances was doing things you were not meant to do instead of investing for yourself.

    Note: when things eventually turns around for your good learn to do you, think you, act you, family wahala no dey finish, all the same thank you for this.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Jesus fix it.πŸ™πŸ»

    ReplyDelete
  22. God bless you Poster! for me, the advise came late too but please single girls, grab this advise with 2 hands. If I had the same advise when I was single, I wouldn't be here today.
    I still THANK God for my life

    ReplyDelete
  23. My own is,why is it that you hardly find a nigerian man that takes care of his family? Bringing kids into the world and live them on their own.if most people can be honest they lacked so much even in the midst of plenty.tufiakwa

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I was also in similar shoes and he moved out by himself because I was receiving calls from male friends. He doesn't assist with anytime in the house. Sending all his money to naija..Even on my birthday he send no message.

      Delete
    2. My father took very care of his family, I am taking very good care of my family and I am absolutely sure that sons will take care of their families and be there for at all times. There are good men out there who are taking care of their families within limits of their capacities. It is only difficult to find men who care for their families in your village

      Delete
    3. Jewulechi..
      Where the comment weh I drop for this idiot? πŸ˜’πŸ˜’

      Delete
    4. @16.16 that is fallacy of hasty generalization. My father took good care of us and we are taking good care of him. My husband takes good careful me; I can't complain. I pray my son does the same for his family when he is older.
      Our environment shapes us. You can't give what you don't have. Not all men are useless. God help us all

      Delete
    5. Anon 16:16 Nigerian men take care of their wives, at least Easterners and even Some Northereners do take care of their wives but things are very hard now and it has changed a lot of things, I know in the past, house wives were a common thing until recent times.

      Delete
    6. Hardly care??? Change ur cycle. My father took care of his family. My husband is taking care of his. Yes there are men that are like that but a good number of Nigerian men take care of their families.

      Delete
    7. *circle (if it was cycle I typed previously)

      Delete
    8. 18.32 πŸ‘ŒπŸ‘Œ
      My dad provided for us growing up even on his teaching salary. I echo it - not all men are useless.

      Delete
    9. I wonder the Nigerian men you hang with. Dad took care of us, husband is taking care of his, his brothers are catering to their respective families and my brothers are not left out

      Delete
    10. Wrong narrative abeg.

      My father took care of us to the best of his abilities then.
      My husband is doing a good job right now.

      They are both Nigerian men......

      Delete
  24. Ladies, beware of men who call themselves pastors and claim you're their wife. I notice they target women who are doing well for themselves and end up putting their financial burden on their wives. Please single women, open your eyes

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Leave them..
      Na so person weh claim to be pastor go dey fuck them and they don't seem shock by it.. na their way sha.. both them and the pastors na the same thing.. hypocrites

      Delete
    2. DANTE you comments are extremely toxic.

      How could you call her names?!

      This poster avoided a rapist with all the difficulties she was going through.

      She was led to marry this pastor after many years of ignoring him because she was not spiritual mature enough to DISCERN the spirits.

      Please, be more balanced in your views. 🀦‍♀️

      Delete
    3. Dante there is truthful and there is insensitive

      This comment was insensitive

      Delete
  25. Please is this a testimony,an advice or a chronicle? Poster, looks like you have your life figured out already, congratulations the Lord is your strength,you know what you want as for me and myself,no pastor should come and tell me God sent him, Jehovah himself will have to appear in the flesh to convince me that he sent any pastor to tell me any prophecy or marriage talk.

    ReplyDelete
  26. All i see is a woman that suffered during her youth,God favored her and prospered her life only for her to allow herself be lured by a so called pastor.Madam,carry your suffer we wish you safe delivery..must you marry a poor man because you think he's a man of God?

    ReplyDelete
  27. Dear poster,suffer no dey tire you? Abeg just and me first,after all you went through,God finally blessed you with a comfortable life and all you could do was rush back into self imposed poverty.Abeg continue paying the bills quietly while oga keeps answering God's call.

    ReplyDelete
  28. your story is all over the place. except if you can explain more I dont understand what you mean by marry a man who fears God but not love God. the love you have for God makes you fear and reverence him, so you cannot fear God without loving him. very wrong teaching in my opinion.. a genuine man of God will provide for his family. so if you claim he is a genuine man of God then something must be wrong somewhere. it is either he is not truly born again or he is born again but under the bondage of the spirit of poverty. he needs deliverance. as for you poster you need to genuinely go back to God in prayer to open your spiritual eyes. if God put you in his life as a support for a season then you best need to keep filling that role till God makes a way of escape. ask God why he is still not a provider for the home because that is an anomaly, more so for a believer who is the head of the home. can you be the head of the home and your wife be breadwinner for how many years? may God give you wisdom

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Do you know you can love someone and not like the person? Ofcourse you don't.
      It would require wisdom.
      Therefore go and ask God you fulfill your last sentence on your life very quickly.
      I am not the poster .

      Delete
  29. No God sent that man to you,that's how i was a maid of honor in a childhood friend's wedding,i went from school looking so flashy and sophisticated,one dry pastor came to greet us after the wedding,the next thing he started calling that he wants to marry me,i have zero chills i told him straight to carry himself somewhere else that I don't do pastors.If you watch most of them nawadays,they'll marry very beautiful classy babes and pretend that it's God's message.Liars everywhere.Ladies better open your eyes and look well.Please don't marry a poor lazy man except you're really capable to submit without complains.

    ReplyDelete
  30. the pastor just saw a comfortable woman and perched there. you poster was not a serious Christian so could not decipher he just came to chop. so he is waiting for the people God will use to bless the ministry okwaya? God does not work that way. you find your hands something to do and God will bless it. you do not know how or who or what he will use, so he is just being lazy. being the head of the home means you provide for the family, if your wife earns more then as a good wife she will support you and take care of majority of the bills. but for her to be the sole provider is an anomaly. except if she is not telling us the whole truth sha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. When he told her God told him she is his wife, she should have prayed and asked God to reveal it to her too. Anyone can come up to you and say God said.

      Delete
    2. @Baby Oku, you said and I quote " so he is waiting for the people God will use to bless the ministry, okwaya? God does not work that way." My question for you is how many Nigerian pastors do you know who have day jobs? Don't tell me they have businesses. How many of them had businesses before they became pastors?

      Delete
    3. Anon, a bunch of pastors have jobs. It's probably the lazy ones or the ones that their churches have grown relatively big that don't. My pastor in Nigeria was a Lagos state model college principal before he retired. My pastor here has a good job at the Embassy

      Delete
  31. Why is that when we read or hear stories about God directing people to their spouses, it is almost always one-sided?! Why didn't God tell both parties, involved?

    Whilst reading your post, I noticed he was the only one to receive such a "message", but it didn't seem like you got your own message! That tells me that it was not ordained from the Lord, but rather from human beings!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Miss E you are absolutely right. Anyone can walk up to anyone they like and say God said. Ask God to confirm it to you too. God always does

      Delete
  32. "Marry a man that fears God and not the one that loves God" word

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This here is no word for me. How can you fear someone you don't love, In general we fear God because we love Him.

      Here we go, there are a few things we can do to disobey our parents and disrespect them, but to some extent we try not to do that, not because we can't but for the we love them and not want to get them offended. That is not only love but fear hidden in it as well.

      Delete
    2. I sont understand her ending message, perhaps it was a typo or it needs more explanation.

      Delete
  33. Your chronicle took me down memory lane. Like you I was married to a 'pastor' for more than 10 years and handled all the financial obligations of the home( including his allowance etc). I gradually turned into a living caricature of what a woman should be. Putting up a front that all is well but dying slowly inside. I took a walk when I realised I had become bitter and resentful, and lost my smile and joy in the process. It took a while but I have regained my smile and cheerful nature. It is a learning curve and my takeaway from the experience is that 'takers' have no limits, and will not stop until they suck the life out of 'givers'.

    This type of marriage changes a woman and you start behaving like superwoman until you have a breakdown. It is a process but I am learning to be soft again and to open up to love. I am learning that it is okay to be pampered and treated like a queen.That real men protect , provide and do everything to put a smile on the face of the ones they love.I had to learn to receive from the man I am dating now because I was so used to being a beast of burden.

    Some men use Christianity as a cloak for laziness and prey on hardworking, naive Christian girls. To the men in the house: if you find a woman who fears God, respects you, is financially secure , gives unreservedly (love and resources),don't take her for granted. That she is easygoing is no excuse to exploit her. When she reaches her breaking point, no amount of begging or cajoling will make her stay. What you handle so carelessly, others are waiting to treasure. Selah

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmmmm, " takers have no limit and would not stop until they suck the life out of givers"

      Delete
    2. Thank you o. Please tell that mummy G.O anonymous that claims she can buy a street up there. Some men are users. Some women are actually slow and stupid all in the name of being Christian. I hate lazy people. If I as a woman can hustle as much as I do everyday, no husband of mine will sit his butt at home claiming pastor. Make everybody enter street go look for money.

      Delete
    3. You ended up not telling us how you were "exploited," or did you?
      Jesus himself taught that it is more blessed to give than to receive Acts 20:35
      If you were always trying to receive, then you were going contrary to his teachings
      and being selfish. Whatever you had was given to you by God and not of your own making.
      You ended up scattering your marriage. Hope the one you embark upon brings you the riches
      you seek.

      Delete
    4. Read carefully what Anony 17:23 said. I will quote it here "To the men in the house: if you find a woman who fears God, respects you, is financially secure , gives unreservedly (love and resources),don't take her for granted." The defining word in this quote is "DON'T TAKE HER FOR GRANTED." Both commenters below Anon 17:23, probably skipped this line or willfully ignored it.

      Delete
    5. @21:04
      Both the poster and this anon did not tell us that their husbands 'takes them for granted"
      The poster actually said that her husband is "a good man." She is actually more interested in riches
      than a happy marriage. A woman married to a good man, had a child in advanced age and is "24 weeks gone
      with another?" Isn't she the one taking the blessings of God for granted?

      Delete
    6. I am the anon at 17:23. Pray you never walk in the shoes of a woman who bears the sole responsibility of catering for the family. When a man decides not to work and leaves you to bear the family responsibilities (including his personal expenses)for more than a decade, then the man is taking your good heart for granted. When he is not incapacitated in any way, do you call that love? Have you ever been afflicted by stress-induced ailments? I would rather leave such a marriage and regain my health and peace, than cling tenaciously to the title "Mrs". A marriage where you wither away from overworking while the man goes about doing nothing and getting fresher by the day is not worth it.I choose life. Marriage is not a ticket to heaven. Na husband I marry, no be babysitter job I apply for! Everything cannot be said in a single write-up. Before a woman quits a marriage of over 10 years,you should know there are cogent reasons for doing so.

      If you read my write-up carefully, you will deduce that by the grace of God I am financially okay and do not need to date a man for money. But it sure feels good to be with a man who knows that a man has responsibilities in a committed relationship.To each his own.

      Delete
    7. Wow..Well said at 17.23😍😍😍

      Delete
  34. @poster you are a strong woman. I am currently in your situation anf yes I know how lonely it can get at times. It seems you are always strong for everyone but yet when you need a shoulder you can't vouch for anyone around you.
    All i can tell you is that God's grace is sufficient for you.
    Trust me I know it's not easy but your greatest strength is your personla relationship with God. He would comfort you in rare ways.zero your expectations from those around you and be strong for you and those who really matter.

    ReplyDelete
  35. I have been married to a Pastor for 7years. At the time of the marriage it was a huge miracle. Age difference over 5years (i am older) now I'm just tired of carrying the huge burden of the house. I'm actually thankful there are no children. All these Pastors eh! Hmmm abeg dear sisters check well before you jump into marriage with any so called Pastor. My story is too long.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Please send your chronicle

      Delete
    2. So will you leave?

      Delete
    3. Anony 18:57, that's a very good question. She said it was a huge miracle at that time, that's because she was older than her husband and probably thought he was doing her a favour. Also, she is thankful that there are no children. If she doesn't plan to leave the marriage anytime soon, why is she happy there are no children. Who's time is been wasted? It's obviously her. Then if she has plans to leave the marriage, why is still holding on to it if it isn't in any way beneficial to her?

      Delete
  36. You made great decisions with your life until you took a "pastors" advice. Sad!

    ReplyDelete
  37. Paster! in Ghanaian accent🀣
    That's how the charismatic one I married with my money was telling me he can be holy but hateful. My jaw dropped.
    The day he shared this his whacko theory with his neighbours, they ripped him to shreds.
    I have left him and moved on with my life, the divorce process is in the works and I am thriving again, to the glory of God.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Any woman that marries with her money is married to herself

      Delete
    2. @18:24, I am happy for you.

      Delete
  38. You can't love God and not fear Him. They are inseparable.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Many female BVs are on this table.
    Suffering and smiling with pastor Husbands that are using the church as a cover to exercise power and authority over wife and congregation.

    ReplyDelete
  40. Wow....the Lord is your strength

    ReplyDelete
  41. Hello Poster, I think that we all need to know God for ourselves. what this means is that God will confirm the message He has given you and not just give someone a message for you. This is not how it works and the message should give you peace.

    That said, the most important thing about a person is his character be it a pastor, chior director a bsuinessman or whomever and be true to yourself concerning what you can live with.

    The Bible has guidelines for marriage as well. Love God,love your wife as Christ loved the Church and gave His life for it. This involes taking care of your family and your home. Of course a wife should do her share of respect and contribution to the home front as well.

    It is well with you. I Pray it all turns out well and your husband gets how you feel and understands his place in the homefront. God loves you.

    ReplyDelete
  42. That was how one fake one nearly off my paent with da holyspirit said....said what kwaaa? Cos e see say baby geh don tush up and buy car. My eyes open pass all dat

    ReplyDelete
  43. A lot of dem are leeches

    ReplyDelete
  44. Sorry poster something tells me that this was planned.
    Your hubby and your pastor and the 7 year message when he came for thanksgiving.

    I wish you a safe delivery.

    ReplyDelete

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