Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative - UPDATE

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Tuesday, April 20, 2021

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative - UPDATE

Hmmmmm.......








She is Responding to this Chronicle

 Good day Everyone,

 I noticed a lot of people were saying 'when you render a favour do not expect thanks'. I was confused if they read what I wrote. I never said 'I got her a job yet she did not come over to my house to clean up neither did she lick my shoes'. I said I had a celebration and she did not give anything which is the norm. 


If she did not have I would have understood but she had more than enough to get me a mug. Mind you, I don't have a 'mug problem'. Even if I did not help her in any way, I believe, if I have you as a friend and I get you gifts on your birthday I expect the same gestures. Reciprocity is the keyword here and not gratitude because reciprocity shows you are valued. 


I guess some were fixated on what I did for her that they failed to ask themselves. 'If I had a friend who gave me nothing on my birthday would I continue to do the same for her overlooking the fact she was not reciprocal?' Healthy relationships are meant to be symbiotic. Anything else is parasitic and nobody wants that. That aside, there is something I have noticed concerning how most people perceive those who render assistance.



 It's like people are always trying to silence you up or try to make you feel guilty like you have no right to feel bad or complain about the least sign of displeasure after all you have it all, forgetting that you are human too. No matter your financial status everyone wants to feel loved and appreciated even parents want to feel valued when they do things for their kids despite it being their responsibility. It is human nature. I have written here before on a different post about different scenarios with different people who act like loafers and the responses I had always gotten by the few people who responded are ones encouraging me to overlook and continue to help. 
This is why I was happy seeing that Stella eventually brought it here where a lot can see it and give me diverse responses.



 Last week was the first time I got responses from people who understood me and where I was coming from and I grateful. Anyways, though I did let her know the date she picked for her wedding was marked for one of my official trips when she informed me about it before sending in the Chronicle considering I had already hinted I might cancel, I had to let her know it was impossible to do so after digesting all the advice I got here.



 Additionally, I let them know she would not be getting any cars without mincing words. I told her I do not give people my 'things'. That is the plain truth. If I had told her the cars she asked for needed some repair she would have asked for the others so I had to be blunt. I told her to ask others in the church to help with the cars because she was whining when I suggested she rented. She asked if I would support her in any way to assuage her wedding cost.


 I let her know I recently spent a lot on my wedding which took place just months ago. I haven't even gotten half of the money I spent back. (Which is true). Though it did not affect my finances in any way and I could have helped if I wanted to but I guess just like everyone else I also have my breaking point.



 This is why I always try to overlook many wrongdoings because when I am tipped over, I go overboard in my actions towards people and that becomes my default setting. I did not sit her down to talk to her about her actions because she isn't a child to be so obtuse. Just like me, she is in her thirties too and I am just 2 years older than her. So I doubt she was oblivious to her actions. Her parent is older and could birth someone of my age.


 So if they could act the way they did over the 50 naira issue and saw nothing wrong with it then talking would seem to them like nagging and being overbearing. Besides, I couldn't be bothered at this point. Thanks, Stella. Thanks all.




*Na wah!!!

75 comments:

  1. Your chronicle, your right to follow which ever point you like.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You did well πŸ‘. Let her carry from where you stopped.

      Delete
    2. Everyone has spoken well. Poster, you have also tried for her. But as a Christian, what would Jesus do? Ask yourself and answer honestly so that you free yourself from the grudge and hurt okay?
      Kisses

      Delete
    3. Poster you did no wrong,cos would also do same in such circumstances. And you write so well,your school fees was not wasted at all.

      Delete
    4. Poster, you do you and the world will learn adjust. Every one has a breaking point and it hurts when friends do not reciprocate good gestures and keep taking one for granted. At times, one has to change for them to appreciate you.

      Delete
  2. I would have done same if I were you... πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ€—πŸ€—

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Amarachi With C20 April 2021 at 18:26

      She did well. I am about to do the same to my ungrateful younger sister, who gave birth to a baby girl at 15years. My Mum took care of the child from 1day with milk till now she is 16, and have finished her waec, without my sister contributing a dime. Only for her to hang up with her to leave my Dad when he is vulnerable. My Mum is on Omugo visit in my house and this girl left my dad to her mom's house yesterday. No info, no call. The mother has a 10years old in our house, dad is going extra miles in training them. We will bundle this one inside bus to meet her in Lagos too. Imagine my dad weaking up by 5am to prepare him for school. A 68years old man! People take things for granted. She is currently pregnant in her husband's house, and l wonder how the man will feel, with her two kids feeding on him now.

      What you did is so so right dear!
      I can imagine her face, when you told her about the cars and your travelling.

      Delete
  3. You write so well and I support your actions. God bless you. If reverse where the case, I mean I go all out for people but I don't get appreciated. God knows best sha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. People are wicked abeg. Na so i help my friend oo. Plan her wedding. Supported her. Bridal shower oo i dey. Imagine leaving here on mainland to island to organise surprised bridal shower. I spent moni. Gave her 30k as wedding gift. Stella e reach my own. Oya come buy aso ebi oo. Not expensive o. Babe say she get like my material before! I said wow. But urs i hv alot if dat color in my box! But i did buy because i wanted to support you.

      Poster they obviously believed you have enough! So u are the one that should keep giving them.
      The day u stop expecting so much from people! Thats the day they will stop hurting you. Goodluck.

      Delete
  4. You did no wrong expecting her to gift u something. You did no wrong at all.

    ReplyDelete
  5. You have every right to be pissed. Her loss.

    ReplyDelete
  6. My kind of girl πŸ‘‹πŸΏ
    Nothing wrong in expecting a little something from a friend most especially when it’s your wedding. And yes, you have every right to be mad jor.
    It’s good you told her she won’t be getting the cars. She should look elsewhere.
    Do not support her in anyway. Do me I do you 🚢🏿‍♀️

    ReplyDelete
  7. Poster pls send me your email so I can send you a gift. I like your stand. I can imagine the surprise that will hit her. Make sure she does not come close to you no more. Not even as tiny as visit. Just block her entire linage from you. Leaches everywhere.

    ReplyDelete
  8. You guys are just two years apart??? I thought you were like 15 years apart or something. Lol

    She really did you in with the 'big sister' stuff earlier.

    I remember when someone started hailing me unnecessarily with 'mama' some years back. I blocked him. The fact that I've helped you once or twice, doesn't mean I'm now an iya-loja, that you can tie with flattery and ass-lickery. More so, as age-mates. No, can't and won't be anyone's tool.

    Everyone will be fine.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 🀣🀣🀣

      Delete
    2. Gbam. To your tent o Israel!

      Delete
    3. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

      Delete
  9. I so much love your stance, weldone, God bless you. mwaaaaah

    ReplyDelete
  10. Some people are just parasitic in nature. All they want is take, take take & never give. Madam you did well. Your money, your decisions. ✌️

    ReplyDelete
  11. You write well @PosterπŸ€πŸ€

    You have reached your tipping point, do what gives you peace of mind .

    ReplyDelete
  12. You're well in your right Poster,everyone loves to be acknowledged in one way or the other,I'm happy you told her bluntly about the cars and the wedding.
    Nobody loves to he used.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Gbam!!!!!! correct. i love you already.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Poster I totally understand you. There is nothing wrong in expecting a gift from someone you would go all out for.
    It is a good thing you told her your mind concerning the car, wedding cost & all.
    I so much dislike this your friend already,she is so entitled and thinks you're a maga.
    Call her bluff & keep her at arms length. No time for rubbish. Let her & her entitled family remain in their lane.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Weldone I like what you did but You shouldn't have liar because of her by telling her you don't give people your things.
    I love one of my bros for what thing, he will tell you plainly that he is not giving you reasons best known to him.
    If you talk and talk till heaven falls his no is no reasons for his no you will not get.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Your feelings were valid. You were right to feel the way you felt. The mothers attitude shocked me more! Someone did your daughter a huge favour. Got her a job. Do you know how many people are looking for jobs in this country? This same person bought candy from you just to patronise you and because of 50naira! You ask her to return the candy because this lady didn't have the change. Haba! If your daughter is an ingrate, you as a mother act better! Like I said in the chronicle, cut them off!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Can you imagine the mother. Well it’s a learned behavior from her mama. Yea they add no value to her life at all. Time to cut them off completely. Not even once in a while hi hi. As in CUT ties with them. That boat has sailed.

      Delete
    2. 'That boat has sailed!

      Delete
  17. I support your actions. no parasitic relationships

    ReplyDelete
  18. Can you imagine asking if the poster can support her financially when she couldn't gift her a pen. That lady is a big time user and entitled...

    Girl, I like your stance. Keep it moving. If she's wise, let her reason it and make amends....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yea and after making amends, poster should still cut her off oo. She don try enough

      Delete
  19. My dear nothing is wrong with you for expecting gift from her,she was supposed to be your friend and you've done alot for her. We are all human beings with feelings and emotions, I have this big mummy who I always call and check up on her from time to time.I cherish the relationship and for every visit, I try to take something along no matter how small.They always appreciate it and I see this big smiles on their faces each time.

    They lack nothing and they are comfortable and I don't even expect anything from her. I just love her family and I love the fact that I'm welcome in their house cos my parents and in laws are far away from where I stay.
    She feels so entitled and I love the way you responded to her,cut her off.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Sis you did well, standing up for yourself is the best gift you can offer your self.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Poster don't bother explaining yourself to them,it's not like they don't get it,I'm telling you they know wrong from right but you see,most of them commenting and blaming you for feeling the way you do are same people like your friend,they are alike,they'll do the same to their helper as well,set awΓ²n ungrateful geng

    ReplyDelete
  22. In my opinion, I feel God was testing you and you failed your test. If Joseph had become embittered because of what his brothers did, he wouldn't have reached the place destined for him. Same with David. All you have was GIVEN to you by God, so they not appreciating your help is not appreciating God's help and not for you to take it so personally.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. please Anon 17:12 Poster's story is very different from Joseph's or David's story. Remember Jesus Christ our Lord healed ten (10) lepers, and He asked where's the rest when only one came to show appreciation

      Delete
    2. Odiegwu!!! She can as well help other people who will value the help they get and not feel it is their right like these entitled family members.
      There are a million and one people who can still be helped apart from the bride-to-be complained about.
      God will still bless her for others.
      Let's stop subtly encouraging ingratitude and entitlement.

      Delete
    3. The poster did not fail any test. Hain! Dem don come oo
      Na Dem dem

      How is her story same with Joseph story for goodness sakes?
      The poster already said in her first story that she helps a lot of people anonymously who do not know her to even thank her or appreciate her so because of this ungrateful person she did bad ba? Make una dey fear God abeg nah Those people treated her badly.
      No be this world where people do not help for free or did we not read yesterday's chronicle?you now see someone helping you with no strings attach oooo but you took your 50 naira back from your helper. Poster ignore this advice biko

      Delete
    4. I am not faulting the action she took, it's the bitterness that I am addressing. Not only did she write an initial chronicle but also a follow up! She needs to search her heart and be honest about how she feels and hand it over to God.

      Delete
    5. Anon 17:12, how dare you!!!!
      You’re not even worth to be tagged an addled egg.
      You’re the type to not as much as piss on your siblings if they were on fire! The audacity!!!
      Poster, ignore this ibex.
      Don’t let anyone’s warped view/interpretation of the scriptures deter you. I’m glad you got rid of the parasite.

      Delete
    6. Exactly my thought..it the bitterness for her to come and give an update,she was just trying to console herself...if people didn't advise she knew what she was going to do justed needed support...God gives she should have just done her own bit that she could without going extra mile ..to me she is still hurting

      Delete
    7. 18.32 why are you vibrating?! Better don't develop HBP on top of chronicle.

      Delete
    8. See all the entitled users coming to quote what will Jesus do?
      Poster wrote a follow up on what she did after reading what people commented after the first. Aren't you all the ones that need update of chronicles? Abi it is only when it is a cheating partner you need update?
      The poster is saying she is cutting this user of, a user that is not beneficial.

      What will Jesus do, biko ask yourself what Jesus did to the fig tree that refused to bear fruits?
      Ask your self the consequences of not reciprocating God's love by obeying God's commandment yet you want blessings.

      Lol..only a chronic user will quite what will Jesus do in such circumstances...

      Poster cut this leech off, even bible that they are quoting said if your right hand will lead you to sin, cut it off...better poster ain't relating with this family, than pretend and hiding behind what will Jesus do and her pretense is even a sin cause the giving to this particular person is tiring.


      What will Jesus do ke...all that Jesus healed went about proclaiming the word and showed gratitude , this reciever has done none

      Delete
    9. Anon 19.26, what did Jesus do to Peter who betrayed him, not once but thrice?!

      By the way, it's not ALL who Jesus healed that showed gratitude, the 9 lepers didn't. No one is saying she shouldn't stop allowing herself to be used but that she needs to get rid of the bitter feeling.

      Delete
    10. Anon 17:12 and 18:45 I fear who no fear una.
      The poster do not have any bitterness, in my eye she seem relieved sef that she is free it is both of you that are bitter because she took the right decision.or are you the bride nii. because me I don't understand the bitterness that do not exist you are forcing us to see.haba she has given you a job and am sure done other things for your family she forgot to say. Please free her Nah na beg we take beg una biko

      So you expect the poster to read all of our comments and not give us feedback and just go like that. Nawaoo you must be a shameless user yourself to feel ignoring us and not updating us after taking our time to advice her is the right way to behave. This is how most of you will disturb us with your life wahala like we don't have our own issue we are dealing with. We will use our data to advice you. to now tell us what happens later we will not see your breaklight again. Users everywhere.
      Afi she is hurting mtshew. If she is rich like she claim she might be sipping martini with vodka as we speak set
      Poster You did the right thing. Thanks for listening to our advice.

      Delete
    11. All these Anons 17:12 18:45 and 20:27, you should go and continue helping that ingrate from where Poster stopped, inugo!

      You CANNOT GUILT-TRIP Poster for cutting off the ungrateful lady and her family - Pharisees!

      Jesus was constantly upset with the Pharisees because they were MANIPULATIVE, USERS AND HYPOCRITES.

      There is NO WAY the poster is bitter or harbouring a grudge. She simply "SHOOK OFF THE DUST FROM HER FEET and TOOK HER PEACE BACK!

      God's expects our gratitude and GIVING OUR LIVES BACK TO HIM for GIVING US HIS ONLY BEGOTTEN SON.

      God told the Israelites NOT TO COME EMPTY-HANDED before Him. The same God that owns the cattle upon a thousand hills.

      Delete
  23. Only parasitic people will see wrong in your chronicle. Fire down, u did well.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Pouring your heart out means a lot but she may not understand.

    ReplyDelete
  25. That's why some successful people appear to cut off some friends and relatives.. they are just being careful and keeping a small circle. Success attracts resentment, attacks, envy, jealousy, entitlement from people around you, and of course users. It gets really lonely up there. Some never even pray for their benefactors or helpers; they deeply resent you, while still asking you for money. They gain from you, but rejoice at any bad news about you. So weird.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Hmmm my dear I loved the fact that you were blunt!!!
    You don't need that parasite in your life!!! Gradually peel her off your skin so that you can get enough fresh air. Imagine asking you to support her wedding financially??? Maybe you did too much for her in the past and her greedy and selfish code got activated but it's good you locked up!!! Please travel, don't bother going for the wedding, when you come back, give her a peace offering call and ask her how the wedding went and wish her a blissful married life filled with love and kids and FACE FRONT!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  27. You did very well poster

    ReplyDelete
  28. You did just well.
    There should be no room for entitled people.

    ReplyDelete
  29. ...The 2 most worthless emotions in this world if you ask me :

    1. Entitlement mentality
    2. Self pity

    ...you will usually find both walking side by side in a person.
    Your 'friend' has both.

    If you are looking for a sign to relieve your conscience of guilt, this is me telling you along with others (before this comment), that you didn't do anything out of order.

    Drop that family like its hot!

    The same Holy book talks about seed time and harvest time, they are simply reaping what they planted.

    Even the miracle of the 10 lepers, it is the one who showed gratitude that was actually made whole.

    However, don't let these people stop you from being kind to others, if you are led to.

    ReplyDelete
  30. The girl is too entitled...someone helped pay house rent, helped get you a job...you didn't buy even a plastic bowl for wedding gift...and you all live in Lagos.

    Now time for your own done reach, you want car and help...not one car o. 2 cars...she should spend from her 6 digit salary abeg.. imagine still being stingy to one's self...

    On the wedding day, if poster show, they won't even acknowledge her presence nor give her food...then big sister title will be thrown in the bin

    ReplyDelete
  31. Dear poster, I must commend your writing style. Well articulated.
    My take on this: Don't let her get you offended to the extent of shutting your heart against helping others in the future.

    In my line of duty, I have cone to a very pertinent conclusion, which is : DON'T ASSUME!

    You might think she knows, but many suitations have proven that most times, AGE DOESN'T TEACH WISDOM.

    Talk ABOUT it with her. You may be surprised at her defenses or excuses. This will help you to really know who she is.

    ReplyDelete
  32. I understand what you are feeling. I'm the giver in my relationships and it hurts when people feel you have so much so no need to give you stuff. It not the gift but the thought that counts. I've understood that some people will give and some will only receive. I thank God for making me a giver, so I don't dwell too much on not receiving. Besides, my dad used to say our problem as humans is we expect people that we give to to give back to us but God makes it so that when we need help, strangers from all over the world will come to our rescue.

    What caught my attention in the write up is where you said you've not made back half of the money you spent on your wedding. It made me laugh, my dear where exactly are you expecting to make the money back from? Money spent on occasion is not an investment. I really hope you are not one of those people that will overspend for wedding expecting gifts to make up the money? Abeg naija hard, people are looking for where to get free food, wedding or burial is an ideal place. You will be fine but stop being emotional over these things..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What are you saying biko???

      πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„

      Delete
    2. Well said.

      Delete
    3. 19:15 you started well and veered TOTALLY OUT OF POINT.

      Poster did not write that she did not make what she spent on her wedding back from wedding gifts.
      She makes her money from her real estate business. πŸ˜„

      Delete
    4. What is this one saying?

      So you think made back is same as gift money given during the occasion? You all mist be clueless.

      Made back is simply replacing the pool you took a dip from so it is available for another use...made back is same as saving for those who understand...

      See dem still looking for what to blame the poster for...pssst..entitled lots

      Delete
  33. Welldone, make she fund another person to suck from

    ReplyDelete
  34. It's your choice what you want to do, you don't need to seek validation for it.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Poster, you did the right thing. Keep your distance, keep your peace.

    You already gave her fish, took her fishing and taught her how to fish.
    KEEP ON MOVING, DON'T STOP, NO....

    ReplyDelete
  36. best decision..
    good job..

    ReplyDelete
  37. One, you are a bit bitter about her action that's one truth you should accept.(if she had bought you a mug I bet you still did be angry).We sometimes feel that way when disappointed by those we care about. I am in no way in support of her action but she may have thought you are well of and don't need any gifts some people are just like that. You maybe angry with someone who don't even know what they have done wrong. You see society is becoming more dangerous with harboring silent resentments against people. If I were you I will call her and tell her why I am angry or pissed then watch her reaction only then if I am the one I will truly know her intentions. My word of advice resist bearing silent resentments in your mind against people because it will eventually turn into hatred which is not healthy for anyone. If I can't tell you when you have wronged me then it is on me not the other person.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree that such extreme emotions aren't good for us, and I'm talking to myself as well. Poster may just say it as a passing comment without anger and hope they get the message. People would be people. Found this Mother Theresa prayer that sums it up.

      1. People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
      Love them anyway.
      2. If you are kind, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
      Be kind anyway.
      3. If you are successful, you win false friends and true enemies.
      Succeed anyway.
      4. The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
      Do good anyway.
      5.If you are honest and sincere, people may decieve you.
      Be honest and sincere anyway.
      6. What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight.
      Create anyway.
      7. If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous.
      Be happy anyway.
      8. What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
      Build anyway.
      9. People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
      Help people anyway.
      10. Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough.
      Give the world the best you have anyway.

      In the final analysis, it is between you and God.
      It was never between you and them anyway.








      Delete
    2. This poster has moved on with her life. You can tell she is not bitter abeg. All these manipulative people sef. She should tell them what they did wrong abi,Dem be small pikin

      Delete
    3. Society has always been like that. Our culture is always making this statement of press ignore button and drink water which I find it ridiculous! Speaking ones mind really goes a long way rather turning things to malice.
      I disagree in what you said in regards to her not needing any gift 🎁 that’s just bullshit! You’re a leech just like poster’s friend (now ex friend hopefully). I had to cut off my cousin because all he wants from me is money money money. Why???? Why can’t you leeches reciprocate once in a while?!?? Ehn?? Mtscheww

      Delete
  38. Poster also work on your self worth and stop over helping people to the detriment of your well-being. This was me until I snapped out of it and really focused on myself and put me first. You’ve got to be selfish when it comes to your well-being. Some naija folks will take advantage. Help out but don’t go over board. Love your neighbor as your self. Bible did not say love your neighbor before yourself. I’m glad you listened to us. *hugs and thanks for helping others. God will reward you. πŸ’•πŸ€—

    ReplyDelete
  39. I personally feel it is always best to help people who do not know you or aren't that close to you or your surrounding than those ones who know your worth and your expensive lifestyle is always in their faces because they kind of expect the help you render to be proportionate to the money you have. Sometimes no matter what you do for them they would weigh it against what you have and might not appreciate the help and see it as you giving something little out of your abundance and they may feel it doesn't remove anything from you. Then the more you give them the more they want. Their want at that point may not even be based on the weight of their needs again but on the capacity of what they believe you can afford. People who reason like that would never think to gift you and if you call them to sit down and tell they would see you as being the wicked one.

    Judging from what the mother did. Me I think they don't love you as a person but see you as a means to an end. Because if they love you the mother would have been the one begging to take whatever you want from her shop. She may even tell you not to pay the actual price or dash you an extra candy after paying for everything. This is not even about gifting you anything but how they treat you when they are not getting anything from you. When I read the first chronicle I thought you are a soft hearted person and I felt sorry for you because people hardly appreciate your kind. But with this second update showed me I can see you have a high self worth even though you are kind and you know where to draw the line.

    You noticed they do not love you but what they were getting from you so your decision is right. If you stop doing anything for them the friendship will stop because the foundation of your friendship is them always receiving benefits from you. What is their own impact in your life? No matter how poor everyone has usefulness to people around them maybe not money wise but everyone is useful one way or the other. What are they adding to your life in their own little way? Let's forget about the gift for a second. In other areas of life, what usefulness is their presence in your life because I did not see where you mentioned it.
    This should serve as a lesson to us when we see strangers who do not owe us anything being good to us we should not act like it is our birthright or feel they are stupid.

    ReplyDelete
  40. Poster, you acted just the way I would do if it were me. Kudos

    ReplyDelete
  41. All is see in the writeup is "I, I, I"! Poster, are you self centered?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Another entitled leech sighted...she is self centered and she paid a non relatives rent for 2 years , helped get a job too...lol...have you paid the rent for your parents for 2 years straight without any assistance talk less of someone you took pity on...entitled leeches

      Delete

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