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Sunday, December 05, 2021

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

 Hmmm...





STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
OUT OF LOVE WITH SPOUSE



I’m married and my husband has just recently joined me over here in the US.

 I filed for his papers. I spent so much on his exams and everything but that’s not really my worry now. The thing is that I don’t really love my husband.

 He’s such a nice guy although but that love isn’t there. He loves me and I don’t love him. I thought the love was going to grow but it’s not happening and we have been married for 3 years.

 I have never cheated on him. Well let’s say I have just started cheating emotionally.

 I married when I was ready to settle down and he came along. He’s a good guy. Our s#x life is non existent because I always say no. The feeling isn’t just there.


 I’m writing this because I’m in love with another guy. In fact I’m madly in love with this guy. We don’t live in the same state. He doesn’t know that I’m married and he wants to marry me. He’s been asking me to allow him go meet my people.


 We haven’t had s#x but we are seriously in love. Honestly, this gives me sleepless nights. Like I know I will not leave my husband because not sure he will accept it. Even my family will kill me. So leaving him is not an option.

 However, I’m seriously heartbroken that I can’t be with the person I love. This life is once , are we supposed to live it in denial or with someone we don’t love just because of what people will say? 

Am I just gonna live the rest of my life like this? I’m tired. I love love and this is upsetting me big time.



 

That man will fall out of love with you the minute you tell him that you are married.... You said that you Married a good man? Why dont you give the Marriage a chance to work? Dont pass contentment looking for Roses that will vanish

72 comments:

  1. Toh! lemme read comments. I am learning

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What does human being really want in this life??

      Delete
    2. Abi Mz B make me self read comments as usual..


      Lovelace

      Delete
    3. If you are not happy just leave...how long will you deny your husband sex?
      Both of you will not enjoy true joy or happiness, he will keep irritating you and you will keep denying him true happiness.

      However, never leave any relationship because of another person, the grass isn't always greener. First of all, tell your bf you are married and see his response.

      Why marry in the first place? You just roped an innocent guy into your mess
      If you had married when you were young il say you dint know any better, but you were ready so why not pick right?

      Men and women, please date and fall inlove, stop getting married to people just because. When a woman loves you, you will know, she can give her all...you won't even need to ask.

      Delete
    4. Yes o, Lovelace. Good evening

      Delete
    5. Village people de beat drum for her head but she doesnt know it .

      Delete
  2. Na real wa o! Contentment is key,ma'am..

    Free your mind/heart and let the love be mutual mbok

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. God saved me from this experience.

      Well...

      Poster, if you force the contentment doctrine, it will not do it for you. You will get frustrated and it will affect everything till you won't have the energy to wake up and face another day. You will eventually cheat sexually even if it's not with this recent guy you met.

      Hmmm...

      You made a mistake. Tormenting this good man is wicked too because you have denied him intimacy, denied him love and accessibility by other opportunities. You need to separate from him for sometime and see how things go if you are sure you have done all in your disposal, babe, youth is transient and life itself too short. Give him a divorce.

      Good luck.

      Delete
  3. I hope you know the grass is not greener anywhere but you can water yours to be as green as you like.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Na the raps dey scatter her brain. Continue to neglect the one who genuinely loves you until you lose both sides.

      Delete
    2. It's not this simple.
      When you are in a loveless marriage, you'd understand.

      We all can't understand because our feelings are mutual in our various relationships.

      Delete
  4. Don't force love guys, d moment you have an inkling that a chick don't dig you, back off.

    Tell that guy you are married and he will leave you alone. Well, maybe your husband used u to come along to US😁 you will be shocked to know he agree to divorce you since he has already arrived... wanna bet? Tell him about your affair n you want out, u go shock.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, my sister. Try this and get the shock of your life. He will get someone who is even better than who you think you are. It is a man’s world o. Sister be serious with your marriage and future. Take note, the way you treat this man now that he is not working will determine how he will treat you when he is stabilized . Don’t damage him please.

      Delete
  5. What is this cock and bull story? Were you forced to marry him?

    ReplyDelete
  6. I don't understand how people marry who they're not in love with, for whatever reason..
    My space is big deal to me and I can't see myself sharing it with someone I'm not in love with.. age, money, etc can't make me change my stance, rather I'll just go the Baba mama route and continue my life in peace and happiness.. doing otherwise would be me just frustrating someone's daughter in a loveless marriage, I'm someone who enjoys being alone and there's this invisible wall around me, only love breaks such boundaries cos I'll long for your presence and always want you around me.. if you come commot I go dey miss you like say I won die Lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dsnte Dante

      Delete
    2. Mr D and Dante, then you are yet to understand parental or family pressure topped with emotional blackmail. I can relate with her story. Mine is long...I have 3 kids, he knows, I'm married, he knows but he was bent on still meeting my folks.
      It's pure torture and severe pain that can't be explained when you can't be with the one your heart yearns for. Talk about cheating emotionally, been there, done that. Long story... but as a Christian I had to pray about it. After the prayers I'd still go back because I don't get the love from my partner. Then I had to beg God again, ask for strength yet again to remain true to Him. The stronghold was strong gaan. Slowly, somehow, I noticed I began to let go of him. Of course I still think of him with some fondness but I have decided to let go. Not like my partner has done a 360, no; and not like I want to act sanctimonious and die in an unhappy marriage, no. Matter of fact, I'm on another prayer point cos I have noticed that I am beginning to resent my partner. I am still young and attractive, well save for my little mummy pouch that a bbl can solve, but just because...

      So, dear poster, search deep within you and do right by you but just like Stella pointed, the grass ain't always green on the other side but then again, how would we know if we don't at least climb over our fence and go see? I pray for clarity for you and may God help you navigate through this.

      Stella me sef I need your red biroπŸ₯΄ The thing tire me

      Delete
    3. Pressure. Age. Cliche advice such as 'love will come'. The person is good and has no red flags so better than someone you actually love who has red flags. Also it's more common with women for obvious reasons. Men can naturally pursue their love interests, the only down side is having to deal with rejection. Women can't naturally chase their own love interests, so they have to choose a spouse among those who pursue them... leading to mismatches.

      Delete
  7. Like Stella said, don't pass contentment looking for Roses that will vanish, some of us don't realize what we have until we lose it.
    Not saying you shouldn't have 'stars' in your eyes, but take time to think this through and maybe you should start by coming clean to the one you're madly in love with.

    My two cents....

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hmmm. My dear, the grass may not be greener on the other side o. Your feelings for this other guy may even fizzle away when you marry him and start living with him.
    If there are things your husband do now, or do not do; I think you should calmly tell him so that he can change and make it easier for you to fall in love with him.
    Also, you guys should consider having children. Raising children together has a way of uniting couples.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Please poster whatever you do, don't have children if your heart is cold.
      You will trap yourself and become bitter, the resentment will increase.

      Discuss with your husband, tell him how you feel

      Delete
    2. 15:15 huh??? Who says it’ll unite couple? That’s when you fight the most when the stress of child care takes a toll on both of you. So no poster, don’t bring an innocent child into a loveless marriage! Communicate with your husband. I mean don’t you guys talk? Watch, he’ll start cheating on you soon. You think he doesn’t notice the distance? For how long will you deny him sex? Wait till he settles well, starts working, earning money, looking fresh(give him 6months to 1 year). that’s when you’ll know you made a mistake of getting entangled with another man. Be very careful woman. Don’t push your husband away. If you don’t want the marriage again just let him know. You’re a very Selfish woman!

      Delete
  9. Madam, you should quit chasing shadows. What you are feeling for that man is infatuation. There was a void and he filled it because you are not relating to your husband emotionally..
    Go for therapy, counseling and good relationship with God will fix your mind in the important thing of your life..

    Love your husband, nothing dey outside.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love her sincerity though but she's playing with fire.
      1. She's not even sincere
      2. She's been flirting with someone else
      3. The flirting stage is usually the sweetest because both sides put up their best
      4. I really wonder what women want sometimes. You say you have a good man?

      If you well not heed good advice, if you eventually lose your husband who you say is a good man, yup just discover that you've played into the hands of a smooth talker who is up to no good. Then, your eyes will open and you'll realize that you've lost a treasure when it's too late.

      Delete
    2. You love her sincerity , yet you said she is not even sincere. Are you not confused like this.

      Delete
    3. 22:51, you don’t get it do you? Richie meant he loves her sincerity, meaning he loves how she’s expressing her mind and how she feels about her marriage (in a sincere way) However, she’s not being sincere because first and foremost, she’s not telling the new guy the whole truth about her current situation. She’s apparently playing both men. Because the other guy is ready to meet her parent. Get it now? 🀷🏽‍♀️ Hope so @22:51,

      Delete
  10. Hmm poster me I don't understand o, haven't been there.
    But what I will advice is that you let the other guy know you are married, if he still says he wants you and mean it in every way possible then you can leave your marriage and marry the new guy.
    It's true we have one lifetime, but be careful make this thing no over you. Be smart. I believe you should give your husband attention and what you used to feel for him will return and become better.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That man who will ask a woman to leave her husband to marry him, is no good. If he can hurt him, he can hurt her.

      Delete
  11. Replies
    1. Aunty poster, I'm guessing your husband is in a professional field like medicine because of the exams you paid for him?
      After all your investments you want to throw it in the bin because of lust, infatuation,fling or whatever nonsense you have going on with the other guy.
      Better have a rethink and sit down there.

      Delete
  12. O Chi m. Some people are looking for good husbands and someone here has one and is still not satisfied.
    Madam end that new relationship first, that's why you can't see well. It's hard to love your husband when u already have another person in the position. Please, end that adulterous relationship or 'man up' and file for divorce from your husband and go be with your fuck boy. While at it, remember to release his( husband) number on here so that good and interested women can find him...mtchewww.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Love doesn't give "sleepless nights"
    Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, does not seek his own,
    does not delight in evil but in what is good. (1 Cor. 13:4-8)
    Nne, your delight is in what is evil; adultery...there is a way that seems right to a person but the end of it
    is death and destruction.
    Once, you submit to this adultery, it is finished, the lust would have dissipated and there begins the hurt, the guilt. Your eyes will open to this
    "Nice guy" you married but are lusting after another.
    Desist, nne desist. Look at the Savior; Jesus and ask him to help you
    to love, to persevere and fix your marriage. Give heed to his Word and discipline yourself by fasting.
    You will overcome. πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—

    ReplyDelete
  14. I think you need to end communication with the other guy and give love a chance (with your husband) since he's a nice man.

    Concentrate your emotions on your husband alone and see how it goes. Sometimes you may not value what you have until you loose it.

    All the best

    ReplyDelete
  15. Please do not lead that man into adultery. God will judge you for it.
    You will not wish anyone to do it on your brother. Pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase!

    ReplyDelete
  16. it hurts not to be with the one you love, it's well with you

    ReplyDelete
  17. I totally agree with Stella, that supposed love will fade off the moment he realizes you're married. My dear, love your husband and build your home.

    ReplyDelete
  18. You love love abi?
    See,sometimes love is not enough in marriage, you have to look for what your husband does that makes you happy and start from there.
    Finding a good man these days is very scarce.
    Start from liking him and telling him what you want.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Poster, take this advice...Good Men are very scarce.

      Delete
  19. Don’t even know what to say to this.. please allow someone who will genuinely love the good man find him.. wish you luck with your new guy....leaving in denial ko

    ReplyDelete
  20. You should never marry who u are not in love with because someone else may come into ur life that u will fall in love with and then problem starts.

    Poster, I cannot advise anyone to stay in a loveless marriage because I know how beautiful being in love and being loved in return is.

    If u are absolutely sure u can never fall in love with ur husband, it’s best u call it quits now so he can find someone that actually loves him.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Eka, thanks for this submission. It isn't about greener grasses. May one never get married first and meet ur heart desire later. Those who live it live in a virtual prison

      Delete
    2. So why the hell did she rush into a loveless marriage then? And NO, pressure from family is not an excuse because she’s a grown ass woman who should make better decisions about her life! I’m mad at this poster for real.

      Delete
  21. Posted, let me give you an assignment to do. Every day write one good attribute/character/thing that you love about your husband in your diary; and reflect/think about what you wrote all through that day, thanking the Lord for giving you a man with that good attribute which you love. The next day write about another good thing in him that you love. Keep doing this for 30 days, please make sure you don't skip any day. You can do this before daybreak, since you are having sleepless nights.
    At the end of the 30 days, your feeling towards your husband will improve drastically. During those 30 days, please focus on ONLY his good side.
    I am talking from experience, try it and see.
    I wish you the best. πŸ™‚

    ReplyDelete
  22. Poster, you are just infatuated and longing for sexual fufilment, this aint love. That feeling nudging you on will wane soon. Stay married.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Please channel all your love
    Attention to your husband. He doesn't deserve this. Ask yourself if your husband is the one saying all these. Please people should learn how to treat people as you would want them to treat you. Poster remove eye outside and face your family and husband. The one you're claiming you love will one day get tired of you n serve you hot tea

    ReplyDelete
  24. Some people don't know what they have until they loose it! Smh. Madam love hold the good guy you get and learn to love him or better still divorce him if your mind is made up so you don't punish somebody's son cos of one green light you're seeing wey you no no if the battery is original or fairly used. Use your tongue to count your teeth before making any irrational decisions you'll regret years to come. Love and light to you ✌ ✌

    ReplyDelete
  25. Seems like you don't even want to try to love your husband. There's nothing much anyone can tell you really. You need life to happen to you

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. By then it would have been too late. Poster doesn’t know that some life decisions that may look simple might mess up one’s life for a long long time, if not forever self. And tell this new man you’re married and come back and tell us his response. You’re leading a man who genuinely wants to settle down on. Wicked woman!

      Delete
  26. What a pity,who get leg,no get shoe,who get shoe,no get leg wear am.

    ReplyDelete
  27. You are madly in-fatuated not in-love.

    Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered,it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres

    Did you see where it’s said that love is a feeling? Or butterflies in your stomach? NO. LOVE is COMMITTED. LOVE IS A SERIES OF ACTIONS.

    Love is not self seeking either. Love is a commitment to place the feelings and wellbeing of your partner as priority. You have been unkind to your husband by denying him his conjugal rights based on your so called feelings and you said it yourself that he’s a good man and has been good to you.

    Repent of your treacherous ways and look kindly upon the man God has blessed you with. The best gift God gives to a woman after salvation is a man that truly madly loves her and you have that but you want to throw it away because of butterflies in your stomach that will wither and fly away by the time you spend more real time with this side dude.
    Be careful if you hurt this your husband that has not wronged you in anyway, karma will not spare you in that your lovey lovina relationship you want to run to.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gbam Gbam Gbam. I love you Yvonne πŸ’• thank you for this πŸ™πŸ½. Poster read this comment, print it out and memorize it!!!! You are not a serious person!!!

      Delete
    2. Awww. Thank you anon 5.30. Love you too

      Delete
  28. The grass always seems greener on the other side.

    A word is enough for a while ....

    ReplyDelete
  29. Dear poster, i totally understand your feelings. My prayer is not to be married when i meet the love of my life. Its difficult forcing love but you might not have any option in this case. Guess you should try and conciously fall in love with your husband. Always look at him as half full and forget the empty half. Wish you all the best

    ReplyDelete
  30. I am tired of my gender 🚢‍♀️🚢‍♀️🚢‍♀️

    ReplyDelete
  31. Don't leave your husband Madam, Love grows. Its a cycle in marriage.. one minute ou are over each other, can't get your hands off each other etc, then the next you are overwhelmed with other negative emotions.
    Love is not enough, start courting or being friends with your husband again. You will fall in love with him again.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Its better that Man loves you than you love him that way he will treat you like a queen and worship the ground you walk on

    Be patient love will grow, stop communication with the other guy and your LUST will vanish

    ReplyDelete
  33. My problem with the poster is that he chose and innocent guy for marriage because of pressure, and now the man is suffering ,you even deny him intimacy like I always say ,tell your husband how you feel first and free your mind, then the second guy tell him you re married .
    Honestly what you re doing is beesn on both sides of the bridge comot you no gree, leave the bridge you no gree, nne m don't be a witch . Say it the way it is and choose either a divorce or a new life with the other guy e no hard o just open your mind and free your conscience

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My dear she’s a witch for real. Imagine stringing the other man along. Poor him, he thinks he don jam a better person.

      Delete
  34. You can still make the marriage work,what was the point of attraction when you met your husband,open up and give your husband the chance to love you.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Dear Poster.

    Take a deep breath. Your husband is a good man. Another thing, the grass always greener on the other side.
    Give your marriage a chance.

    You will not be able to do that until you let go of the other guy. As long as he is still in your life, there will be this discontent etc towards your husband and marriage. Love grows in relationship I can assure you.

    Put yourself in the shoes of your husband for a second, how would you feel if you were rejected all the time? 🀷🏽🀷🏽

    Pray. Ask God to help you heal and make your marriage sweet. God loves marriages, He will help you.

    As for the other man, let him know you are already married, apologise to him, breakup and block him on all platforms. Then FACE YOUR MARRIAGE. You will be fine dear. Cheers...

    ReplyDelete
  36. Tell your side boo you are married

    ReplyDelete
  37. Poster you are madly in love with that guy cos you both are living apart wait the moment you both get serious you will prefer your husband

    You better stay where you are and make your marriage work cos your husband is a good man. You are taking out of love cos that guy is pouring spit inside your ear with fake words.

    ReplyDelete
  38. You sound like you married your husband and not the other way round, even if thats the case you also claim he is a good man, if he is a good man that means your home is peacefull.. I thought what we all want as women is peace of mind?
    Poster, what do you really want?
    Have you ever thought of the saying "love is not enough"?
    You want to leave certainty for uncertainty?
    Please think twice and pray hard before you make the greatest mistake of your life.. Its well with you..

    ReplyDelete
  39. Madam, please just wait a little while. Let your husband find a job equal to his exams qualification or a job good enough to pay his reasonable bills. After that, call him for a meeting. Explain how you feel as you have done here.

    So long as you said your husband is a good man, and he is not the person who pushed you into the whole matter from the beginning, he is likely to show great understanding beyond your worries .

    Again, just wait for him to stabilise to fend for himself and pay all reasonable bills. Beg that your man friend to wait awhile also.

    Nothing do you. Thank you for not saying your husband is a user.

    If your family does not support you, your husband's family will adopt you.

    Best wishes.

    ReplyDelete
  40. Poster pls channel your love to your husband.

    ReplyDelete
  41. It could be the initial distance that has affected your marriage.May God fix it

    ReplyDelete

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