THE FOURTH PREGNANCY AFTER THREE CS'
So the story goes like this.
My friend is married with three girls, no boy yet. She and her husband planned to do the timed s#x thing that people do, to increase her chances of conceiving a male child as the fourth child is her last hope, reason being that of her three children, she delivered two through Cs.
She did family planning but unfortunately when the one she did expired, she conceived before she could go back to do a new one.
Now she's worried it may be another female child and is considering terminating the fetus. Her husband is not worried and has tried to talk her out of it but the problem is in igboland a male child is very important and with recent happenings in a lot of marriages today, we all know that if the pressure becomes so much, he may cave in to the demands of his family.
These days what men say and what they do are worlds apart. If Yul with the male and female children his beautiful wife gave him could do what he did. What's to say he wouldn't do same to my friend in the future?
I already told her whatever she decides to do, I would support her as it is her life. But seeing as abortion is illegal in Nigeria, I advised her to just close eyes and keep it because I wouldn't want her to go to those black market doctors that do abortion as their own is risky.
She's still considering it, so I told her I would bring it to the blog and get people's view, let it not be just mine and that of her husband.
She's in a serious dilemma now; should the baby turn out to be another girl.
What if he gets another woman pregnant or gets another wife in future for this purpose?
She has lost a lot of weight because of this? She's been having sleepless nights.
My major concern is her Bp.
Stella and Bvs, what's your take? Should she go ahead and terminate the fetus or not?
If your answer is yes. How should she go about it?
If your answer is no. What other alternative should she consider?
Stella please treat as urgent.
Thank you and remain blessed.
Is her last child three years old before she got pregnant with another child? She cannot be allowed a normal birth cos she has had three CS ...She is also supposed to undergo some kind of treatment before getting pregnant with a fourth...
There are so many concerns with a fourth pregnancy after 3 CS.
Please let your friend go and see a Doctor cos even an abortion is high risk.
Why do an abortion when her husband says no. But why is she even worried about her husband going out to get second wife or a male child? She should focus on her health and children and let her husband do what makes him happy. If having a son is very important for him, her fear can not do anything to stop him from achieving that.
ReplyDeleteAwon Mrs I die there at the expense of her life.
DeleteI do not support abortion
DeleteKnowing she needed to plan it, why dint she use the morning after pill or use ivf to select the gender.
She should just have the child, she’s in her husbands house, a useless man is a useless man if you like give him 4 boys.
She cannot be risking her life in the name of trying to keep a man, raise quality children that’s all that matters in the end.
Push up (original)
Poster,that your friend is ment. She is pregnant and wants to abort it cos it MAY be another girl? Does she know what some couples are going through just to have one child ? She wouldn't let God get angry at her oh. If something goes wrong and she loses her life,won't the husband marry someone else? All these ESN members killing people up and down in the east,are they not males that their mother rejoiced when they were born? She had better leave that pregnancy alone and if its another girl,she should be grateful she can even have a child at all.
Delete@olomo you have spoken precisely with wisdom. Her health is the priority, a man who wants to take another woman will do so with or without consent from the wife. Take care of the kids, find out the chances of your survival if you decide to keep the little one, and your chances if you don't want to. Be careful not to resent that child when born, there is enough hate in the world already, to smear another innocent soul. In the end, you will be fine, just have a conversation with God.shalom.
DeleteTell her to hand everything to God. When we can't control something, remember that God is Able. Don't fear poster
Deletewhich one be timed sex thing again, do you mean they embryo selection, because if it through normal sex, you cannot guarantee the gender of the child, it is by chance, then your friend is a big mumu, you want to do abortion and you dont even know the gender, then if it is a girl, do you know if she is the one that will change things for you and your family, then if you have done 3C-Sections, the 4th must be via CS, it is to trust God and register in a teaching hospital, or private hospital with specialists
DeletePoster, your friend isn't married to Yul pls. I wonder when Yul became a bench mark for Igbomen.
ReplyDeleteThe death that will kill a puppy, usually will first make her deaf.
DeleteThere is something calling her seriously.
DO NOT ABORT THAT CHILD A USELESS MAN IS A USELESS. MAN.
DeleteYul edoche have female child and male children and he still marry another woman, that is to show you that he is a useless man.
Having a male and a female children cannot keep a useless man.
We have a neighbor that lose her husband while pregnant and people were advising her to remove the pregnancy but she refused, now that child is a doctor and she win the best graudating student with other two award.
If your husband want to go and marry another woman ( God forbid, it is not your portion ), please let him go. Treat your daughters very well and tomorrow you will enjoy them and pray let the baby in your womb be a boy or don't you believe in miracles ?
DeletePRAY YOUR WAY OUT.
PRAY
UNTILL
SOMETHING
HAPPEN.
"train"
DeleteThe lady is a doctor now in JUTH, Jos university teaching hospital despite that she is Igbo. They gave her automatic employment immediately in JUTH for been the best graudating student in medical field and other two award with scholarship to do her master's, it was at her graudation that her mother told us the story of her birth.. There is another Enugu man here that has only three girls and his wife wanted to try for another baby and he refused , this man does house chores like a woman despite the fact that his wife is a full time house wife. A USELESS MAN IS A USELESS MAN.
DeleteHelp me advise her, I dont know why most Nigerians reason like people who did not go to school or are not enlightened, "nonsense, nonsense idealogies, nai who na dey swallow, hook, line and sinker"
DeleteGod is the giver of children. He is the owner of life. If God has given her 3 girls then that is his will for her. If the 4th one comes out a girl she should thank Him. Abortion is out of it.. The child had no say. How is she sure she will survive the abortion?? You know, what God cannot do does not exist. She can ask the Lord to show her mercy for this one on the way. And ask the Lord also for a safe delivery.
ReplyDeleteI feel like let God's will be done. Another girl is not a disappointment but another precious child. If a man will leave you, he will irrespective. Children can't keep him, having boys can't keep him, beauty can't keep him, the best behavior can't keep him, food can't keep him, having the most organized home can't keep him (but not saying all these things are bad). He will stay only if he has made up his mind to do so and enjoy his family. And from the poster I learned the husband is not worried but the wife. Madam should try to put God first and embrace His peace. Man can disappoint you at anytime only God is forever faithful.
DeleteI would also like to know the possibility of having a fourth child through CS. First child is 16 years, second child is 4 years, 5 months and the 3rd child is just 3 months old.
ReplyDeleteIf I wait for like 3 years, can I have a 4th CS
Take it easy and heal well first. If you heal well in mind, body and spirit, there is no telling what God can do. It is also possible for you to change your mind with the passage of time. All the best.
DeleteIt is possible
DeletePlease tell your friend to relax and trust God who gave her the baby. DONT ABORT THAT BABY PLEASE. Even if the baby is a girl, let her love the Child. I know we all desire that balance in child bearing both we DONT CREATE BABIES. They are given to us as GIFTS.
ReplyDeleteWhy borrow an evil day????
If the man wants to go and get a son outside that's his business. Her plan should be to train and her daughtes and help them to be successful in life.
The world is moving away from caring about the sex of a child. She can start now to start securing the future of the girls. That should be her headache.
Please poster tell your friend not to abort. Today is children's day. Let's cherish the ones God has given us. God bless all parents but my special prayers go out to all single parents of both genders (from whatever circumstances) doing their best and to all orphans out there. May God in His infinite mercy open doors for you all.
DeleteOnly two are through c-section. Either way, I'd keep my baby. Nothing would deter me unless my life was in danger. Her husband is supportive, so that should give her some peace of mind. Even if he changes his mind later, it won't be the death of your friend. Children are blessings. A man who will leave because doesn't have a son can never fully love his daughters. Is that someone you wanna kill for?
ReplyDeleteWho gave you people a limit to the number you can have through cs?. You can have 4/5 em so far the pregnancy is well monitored
DeletePls leave the Igbo man and male child thing be. A lot of Igbo men have girls only and are contended with them. Men from other tribes also hunt male kids too. And leave Yul alone. Man wey wen go outside go go. No matter how everything set reach. Why would she want to abort in a married setting even when her hubby is saying leave? We get wahala o. Until something stupid will happen then her eyes will clear
ReplyDeleteShe has children and she is complaining, What will she do if she has none? Let her not kill herself because of her ungratefulness.
ReplyDeleteYour friend will soon kill her self over nothing now. Why is she worried now when she doesn't even know the sex of this one. Please tell her to consider her health first which is most important. Let her leave thinking about the husband reaction for now.
ReplyDeleteDear Poster, Even if this Pregnancy turns out a Male Child and her husband wants more than one Son??
ReplyDeleteWill She Birth Again??
If You had said She wants a Male Child for herself, O kwe nu ndidi.
But Stressing her Self because of her Husband going outside for a Male Child is Laughable. Let her wish him Luck. Lots of Women have Gone past this Mentality.
We Bless God for his Gifts Of Children and Amazing Health.🚶🚶🚶
So yoir friend wants to kill herself because pf an unforseen future? She should clap for herself.
ReplyDeleteSo what if her husband decides to be a coconut head amd marry another woman, will heaven fall?
What is wrong with women and giving tjemselves unnecessary stress?
This chronicle dey vex me, she should do what she likes, her life, her choice.
If they have money they can go for gender selection and get a surrogate to carry it for them. Many people around me this is the route they took
ReplyDeleteDear poster, I was in your position last year. I have two girls and my next pregnancy was supposed to be planned but I was surprised when I found out I was pregnant. I was so worried and I had decided to abort. Before you abort your child in the states, you will have to go through an ultrasound. When I was done with the ultrasound, the lady asked if I wanted to see my child. I had the option of saying no but I said yes. When I looked at the screen, I noticed my baby was so scared and I could feel him begging me not to take it out. I came down from the table, carrying my pant😂 and left the clinic. I started praying to God for forgiveness and still panicking too. To cut the long story short, when it was time for my gender reveal, i was having a boy but by that time it was too late for me. I had severe high blood pressure, gestational diabetes and severe preeclampsia. I almost died during his delivery and he was born 7weeks before his due date. All I can say is to put your trust in God and all will be well with you. You can never satisfy an Igbo man and his family. If anything should happen to you, he will mourn you for 3 months and still marry another woman who might be wicked to your daughters.
ReplyDelete🤗🤗
DeleteMadam, your deductive reasoning is zero:0
ReplyDeleteYul's wife gave birth to many males and he still took a concubine
So why do you think that getting a male child by killing the present one will secure you marriage?
Must an innocent baby die to secure your marriage?
Or you derive pleasure in committing murder?🤔🤔
If you kill that baby, that is the end of your marriage as you know it. Just try it. And you will pitch God against you for he said that he hates hands that shed innocent blood: Proverbs 6:16-17
ReplyDeleteThe blood of this unborn child will be on your head for your husband has washed his hands off this murder plot.
Yul's example isn't relevant here because he did what he did despite having 3 boys. You can only be pressured to what you allow. Igbo this and that, still it is the man that determines the sex of a child. This is 2022, an undisciplined person will do what he will do regardless stop hiding under Igbo and male children.
ReplyDeletePlease tell your friend not to abort that child you don't know what that child will be in the future
ReplyDeleteTake better care of yourself o. See your daughters o.
ReplyDeletePoster tell your friend to give birth to the child, this one is a male child
ReplyDeleteMadam you are very ungrateful don't allow God to be angry with you, that is how one of my former neighbor got pregnant after having the number of children she wanted according to her family planning failed her and she can't keep the baby, the day this woman went to abort the baby she died along the line. please be very careful madam keep that pregnancy, if it turns out to be a girl thank God if is a boy still thank God. A man that wants to go out will still go out whether you birth male and female he will still have have children with other women, what is all this worry about that you want to kill yourself self for really what is main purpose for glamoring for a male child is it to secure properties or what ? na wa o you have no idea what God have done for you please take care those girls very well and calm down. Note: If anything happens to you he will bring in another woman and your daughters will really suffer so please calm down and have your baby who knows maybe this one will be a boy
ReplyDelete@16:30
DeleteThank you for all grounds covered.
Na you first talk the real truth of the matter. The WHOLE worry is about inheritance of property by her through a son as if there is a word of God that married men must die before their wives to guarantee inheritance by wives.
That was how the wife of a man was always about inheritance. In the end, she caused financial loss to the man and still died before him.
Poster please give me your child after delivery. I cant disclose my ID. If you respond, ill contact Stella..Thank you
ReplyDeleteOh Anon 16.32, this touched me. It is well, for what God cannot do does not exist.
Delete@16:32
DeleteGod will answer your prayers. Some people just dont know what has done for them.
Chai
DeleteMay GOD hear your secret prayers
Please come and testify when it is ripe
Looking for male child?
ReplyDeleteWhere she keep am.wey she dey look for am
May Allah forgive her in advance
She wan do abortion?
Go do am now make WETIN HAPPEN in 1900 happen
U beta stay one place
Which one no b pikin?
We b all girls in my famly, today people dey pray make dem b like my mama, mama teacher
My grand uncle had girls n one boy, as last born fa. The day of his funeral d boy was on his way to prison while the female children were d ones dat buried him
No b small parry for our town dat year
Some dey loom for
Girl child rocks👌
It is not your friend poster, it is you.
ReplyDeleteActor Tchidi Chikere's first wife had only girls before be married a second wife abi?
ReplyDeleteYour concern is valid in most homes but my dear your life and health should be paramount to you.
An aunt had four children through CS, 3boys and a girl. She wanted another girl desperately because according to her the boys will leave her and face their wives while the girls will always have her back. Beautiful woman with a loving husband. Their marriage was admired by many no wonder she and husband became parent to many couples in the church.
She took in for the fifth child despite doctors warning. She died in the theater after delivery. Her mother came to help nurse the new baby. Three months later the mother told her son in-law that she is ready to allow him marry her last daughter to help him reduce the pains of loosing his loving wife. The man refused. The next year, he got married to another woman with the promise that she will not birth another child. The woman took in few months interval and showed the first wife's children pepper. Those children were turned to maid by the first wife. The worst is that she refused any relative of the first wife to visit.
Be careful what you wish for yourself.
Lef am. She wan inherit propartis. Na her right sha o.
DeleteYour friend is not sure what her problem is yet. Her husband is not even bothered yet she’s getting high bp.
ReplyDeleteSo She wants to kill an innocent child because of a future she has no idea what it ll turn out to be. If her husband’s opinion doesn’t count is it BVs’ that will count?
Your frd is foolish, female children take good care of their parents more than male children
ReplyDeleteI dont get all this male child palava. So are female children not precious. If God has said she would not have a boy child then it wouldn't happen. Why do women like risking thier lives for a man. Men do not do the same. when she dies now husband man will start searching for another woman to satisfy him. It is well o my people. Let your friend focus on herself and children a wandering man will always look outside no matter what you do to keep him in.
ReplyDeleteMadam. Have your baby oo, this was my case but i never comtemplated having an abortion. I had the baby and it was a girl. I currently have four girls and i don't intend having more. Hubby is very OK with it and if in future he misbehaves it has nothing to do with me having only female kids. It's his choice to misbehave. I can't live my life on anyone's terms and give myself HBP. madam have your baby, you don't know the blessings this baby will bring into your lives.
ReplyDeleteMake your friend no go kill herself.......o. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
ReplyDeleteShe may sooner die from the stress than even getting pregnant. Sleepless night, weightloss? Look at stress. Wow! Does your friend knows that it is the man's sperm that determines the gender of a child? Women out here stressing themselves out over something biological that they have absolutely no power over. Her husband getting his good sleep and eating well when it is his body doing it and she that has no power over it pushing herself close to death's door. Why would she even consider aborting her child that she made because of its gender? Is there anything guaranteed through having a male child? Will she live longer, have no problems, will life be blissfully perfect because they had a male child?
ReplyDeleteIsn't it right here that we read of couples who were ttcing for 20 years and the husband never cheated, they never went to any diviners or bush doctors and put their faith fully on God. There are those who never welcomed a child at all and remained faithful and loving to each other. Even with three glorious children you friend's heart is still not satisfied because she believes giving him a male child will somehow secure her and ensures his faithfulness. A man who is going to be faithful will be faithful. A man who respects and honors his wife will never bring contention or dishonor to his home. Why don't the women work to change the cultural views and norms that are against them instead of being complicit in these norms that are not one bit in their favor. It is sad to see women upholding so many systems that are 100% against them instead of speaking up against them.
I don’t like people having e kids they don’t want. She should go and legally take it out some other country
ReplyDelete"All fingers are not equal"
ReplyDelete"Run your own race... don't look at someone else's life to measure your own"
"Everyone is different, we all have our journeys and paths in this life"
We constantly see these phrases, or their variants, written in the comment section of this blog...yet, when it comes to applying it to your own lives, you refuse.
Why are you using Yul as a yardstick to measure your life??! Even identical twins that shared the same womb and placenta do not always follow the same path, so why is the Edochie family's issues frightening you??! Why lose weight and get high BP, because of what is going on in the life of someone you don't even know personally??!
As to your question, I know a woman can have up to 4 c-sections, but 3 is preferred. Since your friend has had 2 surgeries, she can still have 1 or 2 more...but it's advisable she spaces the births. A VBAC is also possible if her last pregnancy was at least 3/4+ years ago...but she would need to see a specialist that caters to VBAC deliveries, to see if she meets the criteria!
There has never been a marriage or a man that has been worth dying for or ending another life. EVER!
ReplyDeletePlease poster birth gour baby in peace. Your husband will leave if he wants to. Besides God is the giver of children and your husband is the determinant of the sex of children. So relax and watch over your home
ReplyDeletePlease tell your friend that even if all her children were boys, it doesn't stop her husband from doing what ever he wants to do. Tchidi Chikere the popular movie producer left his wife who gave him four sons for nuella njubigbo or whatever her name is. She should be more concerned for safe delivery of her child and her health is Paramount.
ReplyDeleteIt is 2022 and yet some Nigerian women are yet to have sense. Continue living for a man because that’s all your life is worth. Later they wonder why women are not valued. It’s this type of archaic reasoning! We are trying to educate the future generation on gender equality and abolish archaic traditions so that everyone will have a fair chance at life, and this one is here trying to kill her unborn child because of a man . The worst part is the man is even flexible enough, but no, her worth is so tied to him that she’s worried about someone “chancing” her in the marriage. I hate stories like this
ReplyDeleteHonestly the man has not fault here
DeleteHe said he will accept any gender
But you know she wants to solidify her place in that house. Sigh
Please don't abort the pregnancy , please
ReplyDeleteReading through the well crafted post, the poster just dragged in the Yul and Igbo men need for male children in to get sympathy votes for what she has decided to do, but knows is wrong to do.
ReplyDeletePoster is a regular Bv and knows SOME Bvs who regularly comment, knock men. She expect those bvs to cheer her along the path to her decision.
IVF is N1 - 2million. Some TTC families cannot afford it. Some who can afford, cannot do it. Some who can afford, have repeated it unsuccessfully times over.
Here is a person saying she wants to do away with a baby conceived because family planning method failed! So she can wait to conceive a male child to secure her right to inherit her husband's property through that male child. Ha!
Blessed be Almighty Jehovah for his mercies. May Jehovah answer all TTC or waiting to conceive families so that posts like this dont make them wet their hankerchiefs/sleeves at noon or their pillows at night.
AMEEN, Lord please answer us soonest. PEACE.
DeletePoster, let her keep the pregnancy, God is the giver of children and what she will born this time, let her appreciate God for it. Let her stop worrying herself for nothing and take care of herself and those precious children God has given her. Note: even if you have mix children, that can't stop a man from cheating or going for another woman. Also, if he determine to go for another woman to enable him have a male child, what makes you think you can stop him, nothing. So, why worrying herself for nothing instead of taking care of herself and those children.
ReplyDeleteNa wa o! This world no balance at all. Here I am, praying to have one irrespective of the sex. Pls Lord visit me soonest. PEACE.
ReplyDelete