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Tuesday, May 17, 2022

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

Hmmm...




STAND ALONE NARRATIVE

6 MONTH OLD MARRIAGE LACED WITH DAILY TEARS



A few days to our introduction, I found out he was cheating. 


The many times he went MIA, he was indeed with other women. I saw messages in-fact one of them asked if the last visit was all about fornication. He was also active on dating apps.


 This broke me but I still went ahead with the introduction, dowry and even court wedding. 


I also noticed he has a temper. He can switch up and gets angry easily. I remember the drive home after introduction and he mentioned he was going to give me “strong hand” in the marriage.


 I travelled for a while and came home to find out my shampoo and conditioner were missing. I didn’t think much about it until one might he had a call from a lady at almost 1:00am. I felt broken that he was still keeping these women. I also noticed he had spent the night in the hotel with a lady a week after our dowry. 


He lied he was sleeping over at work, I packed his bag and food thinking it was work. I also found out recently that I had a miscarriage. I had no idea I was pregnant in the first place.


 My barely six months marriage is laced with daily tears. Lies, cheating and disrespect. Oh my husband barely communicates.

 I’m exhausted and just need a breather. 


I decided to try separation for my sanity, I thought I married my friend but this is just a horrible situation. I’m so afraid of divorce and I’m just praying for strength.



*You could have avoided all these by walking away, you knew but still went ahead with the Marriage, did you think you could change him?

If you try the time apart and you feel peace and are happy without him, then please consider the divorce option... If it is not working out like this, there is nothing you can do.... If you bring a baby into this messed up situation the tears will increase oh....

65 comments:

  1. You knew he was cheating but still decided to marry him? What did u think was going to happen?

    Best u start believing in divorce now and divorce his cheating ass and hopefully someone deserving of u will come ur way

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The earlier you get back in the dating game, the better for you. You can't start legal proceedings till after 2 years of marriage and at least 1 year of seperation. I am sure you pressured yourself into this but don't flog yourself. It's natural for a woman at a certain age to want to settle down. Now that your eyes have cleared, calm down and find your husband.

      Delete
    2. Desperation!

      Product of a useless society that shames unmarried ladies

      Delete
    3. If you want to continue with the TEARS stay, and if you don't want the TEARS, my dear in your father's house there are many mansions. Choose one.

      Delete
  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  3. It is well with you. Follow your heart. All the best.
    Bbjac

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I really don't know why ashies like stealing shampoos and body wash. Weirdos

      Delete
    2. Take it from someone who has been in your shoes, this's just the beginning and it will get worse than this.

      Babe, for your sanity and peace of mind, you know the right thing to do.

      Wishing you all the best

      Delete
  4. This is me in reverse
    I avoided his type last year but every once in a while the devil or mind will play tricks on me like at least you could have married now. He might have changed. Did you catch up on top of anyone. Sometimes you know what you know but deciding can be tough
    End this facade my love. There’s nothing there

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't leave so soon. Plan very well ooo before leaving.
      Na so the BVs adviced me to leave my marriage ASAP. And I did immediately without planning. I'm now back to square one.
      Regretting my actions. I didn't even see counsellor to know whether it could be saved. Now I know better, little patience,l didn't have just because I'm following BVs nonsense advise.
      Shine your eyes ooo. Husband scared. Appreciate the man that wife you.

      Shebi you saw the video that is trending, ladies in the church praying for husband.
      Look well, most BVs here suffer more than you. But all will come out dey shout leave!!!, Their own they didn't.

      Delete
    2. The Original ShugarGirl17 May 2022 at 16:29

      No they don't change.
      Self love will help you put people like this outside of your zone.
      You made the better the decision. You will find someone deserving of your love just hang in there. Your are in a better place.

      Delete
    3. Anonymous 16:08, this is such an evil take and honestly is what keeps people in captivity.
      BV’s advised you and you ran out without thinking. Wait wait did we advise you to marry him without thinking too?
      You swallowed it hook line and sinker and you’re back to blame everyone.
      Please go and sit down.

      Husband no scarce. God is able to provide good husbands, he gave me one after I left my long term relationship and was in my late twenties.

      Poster Please this marriage is dead on arrival.
      Go and pray and ask God what to do and how to do it.
      You’ve been married for just 6 months, and you’re already dealing with a chronic cheater. Please separate for your peace of mind and DECIDE whether to continue or end the marriage.
      Good luck 🀞


      Mma Nwachukwu.

      Delete
  5. With all the chronicles posted here everyday, some of you don’t learn.
    You have this belief that when you eventually marry, they’ll change.
    In the first place, you had your suspicions which turned out to be true, why then did you go ahead to marry him? You sold yourself short sis marrying that man.
    If one door closes, another opens. Never look down on yourself.
    Imagine telling you he’ll give you “strong hand” in marriage. That don’t sound right at all.
    Barely 6 months you are already stressed and I’m sure you are worn out too.
    I’m sorry about the miscarriage.
    For now, do not get pregnant. Put it on hold and watch him for a few more months.
    If things don’t get better before the year runs out, please take a walk.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear poster,let me perch here. years ago I was travelling for my wedding,I had this strong check in my spirit,I ignored it. The morning of my tm my uncle came and said that I should cancel this wedding. It wasn't late,I should cancel,I ignored....I was 23,I didn't think I can change him,I was so naive I just believed we love each other and we will make a way. I even laughed out after my uncle had gone...lol,I was heavy with child.
      Apparently I loved him,he didn't love me,I saw signs but I didn't interpret it well. It's over10years, looking back at the marriage,I didn't feel any bond with him,he provided everything but himself. I didn't have him,I'm real sense it was more like I didn't marry. It's sad,I could have avoided all that,I cried daily,one day a man saw me on the road and told me that God said he should tell me not to cry anymore.
      Please consider walking away,God is so kind you don't have a child with him. No one knows the circumstances like you do. It's better early than late. I wish I left earlier. It wouldn't have been this bad

      Delete
    2. That your first line wasn't necessary

      Delete
    3. If you listen to this people here you will regret your life. I know two babes here that are bvs not married late 20's and early 30's babe that probably dish out advice to people like you encouraging them to leave their marriage or not get married, oboi this babes are frustrated, they can't even get a man to marry them, I mean they are gone. Use your head poster, I believe you know what's best for you.

      Delete
  6. Keep scrolling, the comment you’re looking for is not here

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 🀣🀣🀣bhet, why are you laidis na

      Delete
  7. You thought you could change him. I mean the signs were there. He said he'll show you "strong hand" when you marry, cheated on you few days to your introduction, you saw plenty proof sef, but you still went ahead. Why are you afraid of divorce sef? Would you rather dwell there, and bitterness sets in, or be seperated, and have your peace of mind, and sanity???

    ReplyDelete
  8. I’m sorry to say this. You are in for a long ride. This particular man will not change and will only bring you stds, tears, heartaches and shame.
    Mistake has been made already by marrying him. For your sanity and wellness please take a walk.
    Only six months?! For how long will you keep crying? When he starts hitting you will you sing the same song? If you think you can’t leave, close your eyes to it. Have children and manage!
    That’s all I can say to you.
    Be Lucent πŸ’‹πŸ’‹

    ReplyDelete
  9. Someone told you that he will bring out strong hand for you in marriage,you still went ahead to marry him. Ndo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Original ShugarGirl17 May 2022 at 16:58

      The day one unfortunate retard told me that he would bring out all the things inside me, that same instant I killed whatever hopes I had nurtured for us. In my mind, I was asking what else is this one looking for other than who i truly am?

      People will tell you who they are in the process of dialogue. Just make sure you accept them for who they are and do not make silly excuses for them. Don't go ahead of yourself.
      And NO! you are not the Holy spirit who changes a man's heart.

      Delete
  10. You walked in just because of the money or what you saw and not because of Love.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She walked because world people wouldn’t let her drink water drop cup over the marriage issue

      Delete
    2. World people aka gossips. Real people have no time. If you mind your business, nobody will say anything to you because no one has it all in life. I remember one of my neighbours, mature unmarried lady. One married woman decided to insult her one day but she got it hotter than fire. She never expected all the lashing she got from the unmarried lady and she shamefully walked inside her house.

      Delete
  11. You see this SDK platform hennn, God has used it to save so many, including me from a disaster that was waiting to happen. All one needed was to read with an open mind, use your head and allow God to do the rest.

    Back to you, poster You saw all these and still went ahead to marry him. What were thinking will happen afterward? Sorry for all you're going through but please don't bring a child into this kind of situation, it won't make any sense. A separation won't be a bad idea to consider. I wish you well.

    ReplyDelete
  12. So someone who cheats and lies to you is considered a friend these days? I am not sure what you expected by following through with the marriage after the hand of God was kind enough to warn you as clear as day. I also am not sure what you expect to hear from us. You actually have God working for you and you are as stubborn as a mule, what then do you expect internet ppl to do? You know how many wished they had received clear warning, you know how many wished they had a miscarriage so they could have walked away easy.

    You are too stubborn for my taste, I have nothing to say. May wisdom and discernment find you

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As in strong as a mule. Gbamsolutely! Yeye poster

      Delete
    2. Stubborn*

      Delete
  13. Hmmm... Married life hasn't even begun, tears has started flowing. Too early Sha. Chose one, a lifetime combating and enduring a cheat or your peace of mind? Neega ain't changing anytime soon, so buckle up and drink water so you have enough tears, or kill the emotions, have your kids or diseases and separate. I wonder how you love someone that's hurting you, Abi the hurt dey sweet?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahaha 🀣 blackberry I always look forward to your comment o. I think you’ll be fun in real life with no nonsense mind πŸ˜‚ wish we can be friends o. I love to laugh and also love to make people laugh!

      Delete
  14. Marrying because of money and to avoid "what people will say"
    In the end, you are the one wearing the shoe and shedding the tears.
    Take all these to the Lord Jesus in prayers.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I don't just get it when women rush into marriage despite glaring danger signals. You knew he was cheating and yet went on with the marriage plans. This is exactly the case with many women that get married these days. They practically plead to be married. And he didn't even give you a good wedding. I wonder what the fuss with marriage is all about. I was asking someone who was advising me to manage a guy exactly what married people do and she couldn't give me any reasonable response. Asides from birthing kids, cooking, cleaning, going to market, waking up early to prepare school lunch, going for school runs, helping the kids to write assignments, bathing them, washing clothes, etc, what do you really do as a married woman? What are the benefits from the whole labour? You might even have a day job added to these tedious home chores. Marriage comes with a whole lot of troubles and stress on its own. And yet women don't even have enough self esteem to at least wait for the right man before undertaking such ardous tasks. I always thank God I declined some marriage proposals I had in the past because I had bigger dreams I intended to pursue first. I've actually analysed the whole marriage charade and keep wondering if it's all worth the stress and turmoil, especially if your husband ups and leaves you with kids. You've made your bed. Lie on it. But I'd advise you to leave because he won't change. If he's cheating when your body has not undergone pregnancy changes, what will happen when you finally have babies?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 15:34 I have racked my head looking for the benefits6, I honestly cant see.
      Then imagine on top of all that stress, to be married to a completely useless man.
      Aunty that does not believe in divorce, stay na. Abi?
      Wetin you wan make pesin talk again?

      Delete
    2. Don't get it twisted. There is a lot of benefit in marriage with the right person. Marriage can also be beneficial in companionship and self-development. There is a reason why the concept of Marriage was created by God so don't say it has no benefits. God does not make mistake. The institution of marriage experiences failure because of human nature and nothing else. If human nature of the two people in the marriage is right, the marriage will be right.

      Delete
    3. When you have a good partner, heck you’ll be willing to do the chores self because husband go help you out. My husband are partners and he’s fully involved in home chores and child care and we enjoy each other’s company. Of course we have our not so good days but good days outweighs the not so good days! Marry the right person! Especially A God fearing person

      Delete
  16. False prophet ♡17 May 2022 at 15:36

    I see you jumped into a bus filled with armed robbers, and you believed you could preach the word of God to them so they trade their ammunition for bibles. Wrong move sister, very wrong move!
    You might sustain bruises & injuries if you jump out of that moving vehicle, but it's better than facing the terrain & tragedies ahead. It's not too late.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I like your analogies man!

      Delete
  17. Trust me, the dude has money. If he wasn’t rich, this woman for dun leave this lying cheat of a husband. Women of these days, all they care about is money, plenty of money

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No it’s not about money
      You don’t understand how hard it is to turn down a proposal when you are ready to be married

      Delete
  18. Sounds like you married my ex ooo, I'm still proud of myself for taking a walk.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Me I have given up on all these cheating tales. From now on, if your spouse cheat on you, cheat on him or her back biko. Enough already, whether you know of his or her bad traits before venturing into a forever with him or her, just cheat your own back. If he has 3 side chicks, you find you a small boy that you'll become a sugar mommy to, then find your mate and Las Las find a sugar daddy. It's balanced like that. I just tire for everytime he cheated or she cheated on me. Go and cheat your own and if you can't cheat your own back because of some high moral values you have, abeg commot from the matter. Haba!
    And you see all those fake pastors now preaching about separation, I don't want to talk about how thunder will carress them because...15 years ago when one of my ashawoistic aunty wanted out of her marriage to practise her ashawoism to the glory of God, a pastor from the same church preaching separation today told her to go home and work things out with her hubby. They stood firmly against divorce. It's not in their church constitution for a couple to be divorced and other blah blah blah. Today o, they have carried "separation" on their head. What has changed? Why is it suddenly OK for couples to be separated now but not divorced? Same fake pastors will not speak on the happenings at the north or condemn gays..probably because they have churches in gay friendly countries and do not want their churches closed down.
    Everywhere I turn, 'Jesus is the same yesterday and today', yet his messages keep changing.
    Cheat your own back biko or ..do whatever abeg.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My Yeye person , longest time
      How are you doing mami?
      My comments also give me joy

      Delete
    2. Cheat on him too abi? So una go dry trade communicable and untreatable sexual diseases. Is ok. Na una get una 'probates'. Use am do anything.

      Delete
  20. I am so sorry for you dear, the signs were there but you ignored because of the following

    *What will people say
    *What will be my parents reaction
    *With time,he will change may be after marriage

    To mention but few.

    Do yourself the following favour:. Call him and have an heart to heart talk with him, it's not necessary you fight him or say ur words in a very hard manner. Talk this out with him and give him several instances and if after that, he is not ready to change then follow ur heart.

    Whatever makes you happy is the best

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Preacher...u try.... Heart to heart ke. Prayer, serve him food on the bed, fast o, to mention but a few. Even war room.

      Delete
  21. Chai!

    Sorry dear
    For God fix it for you

    ReplyDelete
  22. You saw all the signs, but marriage was more important. This shouldn't be so, no matter your age or situation. I guess you thought he would change after marriage... NO, men like that hardly change. For your sanity, do whats best for you. And you know what to do.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Sorry dear for what you going through...I still believe in seeking God before marriage,He only can give you that perfect marriage,yes,I know there are hitches in marriages even pastors but when you marry that right person for you,there is no battle you won't overcome together...
    Dear poster please be strong and find solace in the arms of God..

    ReplyDelete
  24. Marriage is to be enjoyed not endure, if it cost you tears daily pour your heart to God. In all, chose your happiness.

    ReplyDelete
  25. I'm really sorry about what you're going through.

    As someone who this exact thing happened to, let me tell you that the earlier you seperate, the better for you. There is nothing to fear about divorce, you need it in this case. Even if you adapt to his cheating ways, you will always look back with regret. Now that you don't have anything tying you to this person, find your way and go restart your life.

    I was 22 years old, I was not even married for 2 months when I saw he had a whole other phone for his shady activities. My life turned upside down that moment. But I packed my load, called a taxi and left that afternoon. I was crying and even lamenting to the taxi driver lol. I left whatever money he had without looking back.
    I didn't waste time getting a lawyer. Divorce came through probably 2 years later. In Nigerian law you can't institute divorce until two years after marriage.
    Seven years later, I'm married to an all round better man, a man with integrity. My heart does not skip when I touch his phone. I can talk to him when I don't like something he did without fear of unending argument. I have peace!!!

    I wish peace for you my dear poster.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Let me complete your story....i later found spare phones in his office drawer . I had to go to his office cos he collapsed at work and was on admission in the hospital.

      Delete
    2. 17:48 uh oh

      Delete
  26. Clear example of as you make your bed, so you must lie on it!!!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Women!!! Marriage is not a do or die affair. If you notice any red flag, the highest shame will last 1 month. Heartbreak 1yr but you'll be happy

    ReplyDelete
  28. You thought you could change him🀣 oshey buruDe change!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahahaha 🀣🀣🀣🀣 stay there till he gives you HIV, gonoccocus, Sphylis, useless men everywhere!

      Delete
    2. Is this meant to bureau de change anon πŸ˜…πŸ˜…πŸ˜…πŸ˜… the way you spelt it is so funny

      Delete
  29. I have too many woes already, Lord pity me abeg, dont let marriage be another woe I'll cry over... abeg o abeg...

    ReplyDelete
  30. I hope you have a job and can cater for yourself. Just leave him its not worth it. He will start beating you soon. Is he from warri/ benin area?

    ReplyDelete
  31. Sometimes, the love of the man's money can cover a multitude of his flaws if greed is left to dictate.

    And 'Love is blind' is not a wise person's anthem.

    When it concerns choosing a life partner, hold tightly onto God and open your eyes for His direction.

    Until you see a person's worst attitude, never assume you know them well enough. That's what courtship was supposed to be about, but...well.

    Don't be fooled by romantic dating. It gives room for putting the best foot forward while hiding the claws from the sweetheart until when the familiarity of marriage takes hold of the relationship. Courting should be carried out with the dexterity if a 'spiritual FBI agent'.

    Premarital sex is the beast of it all. It can cloud the senses and cause unhealthy attachment for some people. A person who did not fear God enough to respect His rules about fornication may not have any qualms about entertaining infidelity. Marriage does not automatically change a philanderer or whorish person into a saint.

    The fear of God is the beginning of wisdom.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pure wisdom. Bless you πŸ™πŸΎ

      Delete

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