Stella Dimoko Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...


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Monday, June 27, 2022

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...



Hello Stella, Trust you are doing Great.
Kindly Hide My I.D.
Something happened Weeks Back and I want to know what you think you would have done if you were to be me OR if you think I did Something Bad.

So, my Very Very Good Friend came to Spend some days with my Family.
Please note she's married with kids.
Although she came along with her kids. It was a mini holiday kinda and Coupled with the fact that we were having a major event so I invited her over being that it's been over 6Years I had seen Her.

So, During the Cause of her Stay, We were all having a discussion, Suddenly, My husband switched to their language (My Friend and my Husband Speak Same Language) I Speak a Different Language as we are not from same tribe.
So they kept Speaking their Language On and On and On, I Felt Isolated and I had to excuse them, I went into the Bedroom to SDK. After about 10mins,I came out to the Sitting room and they were still neck Deep in their Discussion, I tried Chipping in some words, But was totally ignored.

I sat there looking at both of them and trying to understand what they were talking About.
After about 30mins I went back to the Bed room, Then Came Out Again they were still Talking.

Sat down and Again tried to talk, Asking for some Audience, But My Darling Husband and My Dearest Friend Played Dumb.
I Stood Up Again and Went into the Room.
I was Wondering What was Going On?

Like When did My Friend and my Husband Develop this Kind of Friendship??
After like an Hour, Husband man came in to the Bedroom and Slept off. I went to the Sitting room to Check on my Friend, But she was Already in the Guest Room Sleeping As Well.

Much Later in the Evening, My Friend and I were just Gisting and All. Then she was like Ahh, My Husband is such a Good Gister, ahhh, They talked and Talked.
And I was like I didn't know you both were close o..

Abi where have I been.
My Girl was Like, Really???

That she and Husband man do Gist on a regular. He's Always Talking to her, Advising her, Laughing and Commenting on her status. Mind You, A whole lot of times he's always asking me, How's your Friend Zozo, hope she's fine? Blah blah blah.

I honestly didn't know they were that Familiar with each other as both of them never let me know. My friend never told me that she Chats or has ever chatted with my Husband and my Husband has never made mention of talking or chatting with her.

Then she Proceeded to show me all their chats , Stella these chats dates back 8 Years and Above. Hehehe I just laughed and Tried to move past it, Then she mentioned how she posted her workout videos and pics on her status and how my husband Loved it and Seriously Complimented her and even Compared me to her. Kai, Kai Kai(My Head Scatter)

I Love my Friend Stella, so I let it Slide.

I Cooked up a Storm For Her, We ate and Gisted.

The Following Day, During Breakfast, We were all eating and Gisting Again.
Then My Husband Switched into Their Language and then Faced my Friend and they Started Their Discussion Again.
Hmmmmm, I was so Angry I had make some calls to just talk and not let what's going on Around me Upset me further.
I Finished the Calls and they were still on it.

That was when I called my Husband Attention, That this Thing he's doing is Wrong.
Isolating me in a Topic I brought Up is Wrong.

Then he said it's because he shares an intimate relationship with my Friend that's why he's Speaking their Language with her so she will understand him better.
I then told him, My friend who you are doing this with, If the Tables were turned she won't take it.

This my friend you are Comparing me with, Sounding like an Ambulance on her Status for Years,If tables were turned She won't Take it(My Friend is Super Jealous and Over Protective of her Husband)

Stella I was livid.

A whole lot went down Stella, A whole lot.

I had to State My Grievances there Cause if I had to discuss it in Private, I trust him to Gaslight me and turn the Tables Around.

He Later went out came back at Night and Spoke English with my Friend.
They were not neck Deep in Conversation that Night. But I was too angry to notice as I was making Dinner..

It was even my friend Zozo who pointed it out, That didn't I notice he's been Speaking English to her. Lol.

Now, Husband is saying I shouldn't be friends with Zozo and that he never Compared My body to hers
And he's even feigning Anger that I believe my Friend over him.

Things I feel or felt my Friend did Wrong was Enabling him: Her Defense was it's because he's my Husband that's why she was replying him, That it would be disrespectful not replying. Saying people from their side value respect blah blah blah.
You are an Enabler
So You Enabled Him
You Enjoyed his Attention On You
You Enjoyed his Compliments
You have Never Ever Mentioned My Husband Has Being Chatting with You for Years
You Enjoyed him Comparing You to Me
If You did not Reply his Chats
Or You read and Ignore he wouldn't have been Messaging or sending you DMs.
We all know these things.

Like I said Stella We are Great Friends, Infact more Like Sisters. Our Sisterhood Spans Over 2 Decades.

I just feel Bitter, Hurt and Angry(At Both of Them) when ever I remember that Episode.
I Pray I don't do something Stupid.


Dear Lord I Humbly ask for Peace to Move Past this Hurt I Feel.

Hmmmmm, 8 years chatting without any of them saying anything?

do something stupid like what?
The thing now is that if you cut off from her as friends, their friendship wont end and might become closer....

You may have known her for long and you may love her like a sister but i dont think she returned the gesture, please keep her at an arms length and stop confiding anything to her if you were doing so before...
Both of them disrespected you with their actions but its not enough to do anything stupid over, let it be an eye opener....

Innocent move your friend may claim but she enabled an environment that may lead to a romantic relationship if care is not taken.


  1. Babe, trust our instinct. Keep your eyes skinned. Don't cut off from her, be Luke warm. Snoop, and be at peace. Trust no one.

    1. Same thing happened to me and they have left me behind..... she is an enabler please block her and never invite her to your house again, she crossed the line ..... she had mind telling you he was comparing the both of you? No say I no tell you ooo . Delete her number from your husband’ Phone and block her

    2. poster he told you to stay away from your friend probably so that he cant continue being close to her and talking to her and if you are not close to her again, she wont let you know they still talk or show you chats while he will continue talking to her behind and forming not talking to her in your front and you will have no way of finding out since he wont tell you and you have cut your friend off so she wont tell you. keep your friend close, your husband is up to something!

    3. I don’t think your friend has anything to do with your husband
      Someone like me I feel it’s rude when people chat me up and I don’t reply, I just can’t leave a chat unread 🤣
      So I can understand her.

      Your husband is at fault, why was he forming anger for your friend for showing you the chats if he wasn’t guilty

      Just keep watching your husband
      Thank God your friend is also married, moreover she hasn’t seen your husband in a while.

      Push up (original)

    4. This is why it pays to snoop. You are lucky you found out, and you found out for a reason. Just try to be super cool and observant from now on. Since you haven't caught them doing something bad you have to maintain your cool. You do not need a prophet to tell you that she can no longer be your close friend, but still keep an eye on her. As for your husband, his behavior is suspect. But since he wasn't caught doing something bad, be observant. Snoop wella. Last but definitely not least be prayerful. It looks like the devil is trying to rare his head in your home. There seems to be a gap somewhere..............

    5. 22:40 she didn’t find out
      They told her

    6. They told her, and that was how she found out. Abi what are you trying to point out 03:11?

  2. I think your friend is innocent if not she wouldn’t have showed you their conversations. You should be angry with your horseband not your friend.
    Forgive her and unleash your anger on your dogband

    1. My thought exactly

    2. Poster's friend was disrespectful of their friendship. Poster's friend and her husband were disrespectful have been marriage based on what she narrated. Poster's friend's closeted chats and native language discussion in poster's home, no matter how innocent of any immorality, was wrong, very wrong.

      Mr. Mann

    3. Poster , your husband is the main culprit here although your friend is not totally exempted. I believe she's innocent because if she's hiding anything from you , you wouldn't have shown you the chats.
      Face your husband. He's the gaslighter here.

    4. Poster your husband is the one that did wrong,your friend is innocent,I suppose she was just playing nice replying to your husband chats and comments,your husband disrespected you changing to his native language during your conversation knowing fully well that you do not understand the said language,blame your man I think he's the one fishing for something, maybe he secretly likes your friend,only a foolish man would be making comments comparing his wife's friend body to her,that is so bad,really awful thing to do,I'll advice you not to cut off from your friend, your husband is trying to sideline you,that way you won't hear of any further attempts he makes with your friend,be wise,be watchful,be careful,and control your emotions

    5. I don't see the friend as innocent. She knows her friend well and was trying to show her that she was innocent. The question is innocent of what? Why did she make it seem that the husband was the one coming on to her? They are obviously close and poster had no inkling about it after so many years? Hehehehehehe. It is my opinion and if I had the energy I would have typed about my own personal experience. But I am tired. Poster no sleep for bicycle ooo. I don tok my own.

  3. lol your husband and your friend are friends. That’s all
    If they wanted more, it would have been done already

    1. I think I am wired cos I would never see anything off in all of these. God help me. Maybe because I have had friends I was that close to their husbands even as a single and they never for a day accused or disrespected me with such suspicions. To me I don't think there is any cause for alarm whatsoever. I also think that comment on her workout session got you real bad than any other thing that happened.

  4. I suggest you put a close eyes on both your friend and husband

  5. Reason why I don't have plenty female friends and the few I have, are arms length from my hubby.
    Dear bvs, please help a sister.
    Someone should recommend a book on anger management for me to learn not to speak when angry.
    Secondly, someone should recommend a book on divorce for me incase the worst happens in this marriage cos husband Man and my in-laws are behaving weird, I need to watch out for myself. Inter tribal marriage isn't easy, may God strengthen me

    1. Whenever you feel angry and want to say something hurtful, please remember prison, remember your family, kids( if you have any). You might say something hurtful/provocative and he will react out of anger and story go change.

      A lot of people in prison acted out of anger and provocation and are paying with their lives, please be careful. Try not to take things personal. Walk away whenever he or anyone provokes you.

    2. Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. I will advise you work on the quality of the content of your heart first. You need to fill yourself with lots and lots of positivity, seeing the best in people and situations and loving them. If you love and your heart content is a joyful, it doesn't matter how much you talk, all that will come out of your mouth will be delightful, soothing, peaceful and loving. You can't give what you don't have so when you are filled with expecting the worst from people, stress, consciousness of your life inadequacies, you are bound to only say things that will worsen situations. Now you want to read books in preparation for divorce...hmmm. Faith Oyedepo has a wide range of books that will benefit you and bring you inner calm such that your words will be laced with honey. If you are Catholic,I will recommend the rosary. It is highly therapeutic and will take it's toll on you mind

    3. Ms, Saphire you are write on this, Poster 15:19 please 🙏 read her comment and remain a good woman.

    4. Have you read the secret?
      Read the secret.
      It will help you manage your anger.

  6. Hian Stella noooooooooo

    People of God please everything is not 007
    Have a clean mind sometimes. If she has something to hide, she won't show you their conversation abeg

    1. Thank you 15:19. Women too get wahala. Yes I'm a woman. Hian

    2. Have a clean mind indeed! Did the friend have mind Chating almost a decade with her husband without telling the poster?

      Did the friend have a clean mind speaking a native language with her husband the poster did not understand?

      Did the poster have a clean mind while enjoying the husband's compliments and being compared with the wife?

      Did the friend have a clean mind feeling comfortable discussing with her husband for more than an hour while her friend was ignored?

      Did the friend have a clean mind went to sleep immediately after talking with her friend?

      Don't say what you can not receive. Will you accommodate such a friend in your home? It's always easy to advice. You read that the friend will not tolerate such so?

  7. Very, very good friend indeed!
    It would be abnormal if you did not get jealous for your husband.
    Tell your "very very good friend," that you do not like that interaction and she should stop it. If she gets angry, then she has interest.
    If she says she will but later continue it, then cut her off and build wall of Jericho around your home. Only God can crash the wall of Jericho and he won't crash one around a marriage.
    Be watchful and prayerful.

    1. Thank you. I have a problem with they've been cosy without her knowing. What's that?? Very disrespectful. It doesn't take time for feelings to develop in this kind of situation.

    2. Honestly if poster was in the know I would think nothing of it. But her narration shows that they deliberately kept her in the dark about their closeness. They even felt nothing about discussing deeply in their language in her presence. It would also have been different if the lady was the husband's friend invited by him for the program. One would say they were friends from the same place. But the connection here is the wife or did they know each other before or am I missing something?

  8. Your friend didnt do well. You are justified feeling bad but since you have decided to keep her at arms length, that's fine. Discuss ur hurt feelings with ur hubby and try to let go. The lord help you

  9. It is very disrespectful to speak a different language your partner won't understand to someone else in her presence. Your anger is very much justified.
    From your writeup,It was your husband that always made the first move with the language thingy and your friend only just complied which I don't see any wrong there.
    Some people don't know how to say NO to requests,Your friend probably saw how much he missed speaking his language and just obliged him to make him happy on your behalf.
    Have you paused to think that maybe your Friend got tired of the endless gist but had to keep up because your hubby was engrossed with his long spoken language??
    You should hold your Husband accountable for ignoring your feelings at that time and not your dear friend,She was only being polite.

    About the chats that dated 8years long,As long as their was no flirting involved,Why do you worry??
    Then again it must have been your husband that initiated the chats and she responded innocently.
    For her to even tell you about the chat,You should know it meant nothing to her.
    Your hubby probably likes her company and there shouldn't be anything more to it.
    My Worry is why he suddenly wants you not to have anything to do with your dear friend.
    Was he breeding for a possibility of affair with your friend and because he got exposed by her,Now he is angry??
    I don't think your friend has done anything wrong,Your Husband has and you should settle it with him amicably.No one is perfect.

  10. Nne, are you too desperate for a friendship that you have refused to see what she is doing 😡

    1. What is she doing?? From this chronicle her friend is even innocent, she showed her their chat

    2. Showing her chat After 8 years of chatting with her husband, right. Please don’t be gullible.

    3. Thank you 18:10

  11. Both of them don't seem to understand their boundaries and I think you should open your eyes and be careful.

  12. You see why some people don't like keeping friends. If na me na the second day she will leave my house. You try ooo, get patience, cook storm for her.

    Better block every avenue with her. Your horseband is a shameless man. If the table were turned, how would he feel. Oniyeye

    1. Honestly she for don de night bus de go back her base 😅

  13. When my friend's husband tried to be chatty chatty with me, i cut him off immediately.
    Your friend enabled your husband.
    Me I don't have any close female friend that would come and stay at my house.
    I don't take unnecessary risks.

    1. My moms friends stayed at our house all the time. Nothing ever happened and they are all still friends till today. Friend that can help you people’s husband destiny you will drive away
      Can’t pick up the phone and call one friend to help your husband in time of trouble. You’ve driven all away

    2. I chat with my friends husband and I don’t tell her. This is not secondary school

    3. 17:15 why?

    4. 17:15 exactly@not in secondary school. Which is more the reason why you should behave like a sensible adult.
      What business do you have with your friend's husband?
      Are you colleagues? No.
      Business Partner? No
      Church Pastor and Church Member ? No&No.
      Your friend's husband is your chat mate?
      Devil punish Satan.
      Which special jist is he giving you that your single male friends or single & married female friends can't give you?
      Why don't you tell her na, since we are 'not in secondary school'.
      You should be bold enough to do so, since you are in uni. Mtshewww.

    5. 22:58 why would I send a memo to you if I chat with your husband
      If it’s something that involves you or if I feel like talking about what we discussed I’ll tell you. Apart from that why do you need a report of the conversation

    6. So 03:09 you don't mind someone doing same with your husband? If you can truly stomach your friends acting like you are doing towards your own husband carry go. 😒

  14. You did no wrong (from all you typed up there). They both disrespected you and it's good you addressed it the way you did.

    If she was his family, I'd have said you overreacted (you should be jsed to that by now) but a friend comes under your roof and does that to you? Unacceptable. And this is not a matter of you having trust issues. No. You reacted to the disregard you felt.

    It's I pray you find peace.

  15. That your so called friend eehn, watch her in 5D . Remember that saying .... Keep your friends close and your enemy closer !!!

    1. Hmm... He told you to stay away from your friend because she exposed him? Your man is the main problem here

    2. He told her to stay away since she has ended his friendship, he wants her to end her own too

  16. Poster, I'm really sorry you feel this way, what your friend is doing is wrong, and don't be fooled, she knows exactly what she's doing. But the truth is that your husband knows too, I would advise, you sit him down and talk to him about all these. Please air all your grievances, be firm with him in a very calm manner, after that, never raise the issue again. Because you share a history with your friend, have same conversation with her, but you may have to follow her with caution now.

    Even if your husband is the instigator here, your friend shouldn't encourage him, where's the loyalty? That is one ingredient that has to be present in every friendship. If it's not there, then y'all are just vibing.

    My best friend is married with kids, the husband is just an acquaintance to me. Most times, he chats me up, but I rarely respond, and when I do, is to ask about the wife and kids, he had to report me to my friend, the wife, I just came up with the excuse that I'm always busy when he chats me up. He doesn't even have my number, recently, he chatted me up on Facebook to request for my number, because he needed help with something, I feigned hurt, but gently asked him to meet the wife.
    I'm not making myself to appear as a role model, but my loyalty is first to my friend, if she was loyal, she will understand boundaries.

    1. So if your friend has an emergency, he will now be trying to reach you on fb

    2. The wife doesn't have relatives? Why would he call her friend in case of emergency?

    3. Lol 18:26 have you heard of a friend that sticks closer than a brother. If anything happens to my friend, I’m the first phone call her husband makes. He has called me from work to come sit with her when she lost a close relative. some of you have not had the gift of a real friendship
      This one looks like she is about to throws hers away

    4. 16:55 then he should ask his wife for her number.

    5. 23:01 or he could just ask her as he did

    6. 03:08 if he cannot ask his wife who is supposed to be her friend and lives with him and has to go through Facebook , then something is amiss.

  17. Poster, I truly understand how you felt and feel. When I was serving in Ibadan. I had some neighbors. Doctor, Engineer, and a nurse. All newly married couples. I mention their profession cos they were highly exposed, served and interact with different race. But one day they had a meeting that the landlord did wrong. One of them called me to come out and I did. Not that I went out alone oh.Next moment they switch to Yoruba, while I was still standing there. Wow!!! I relaxed for them to switch back to English knowing I was there, never. Only the Dr was trying to chip in English and to say I was hurt was an understatement. I left them quietly but I was hurt. So imagine this happening to you, to the closet people to you. No you're not petty, it can be so annoying

    1. Just happened to me yesterday
      Asked them to switch and they made some jokes and eventually switched
      It’s a bad habit
      It doesn’t make them disrespectful or whatever
      They truly enjoy the gist better in their language

    2. I disagree that they enjoy the gist better in their language. It is highly disrespectful and rude. They will not like it if someone did it to them. When I lived in Lagos, this happens to me many many many times. My office even forced me to start learning Yoruba. I refused. The entitlement is too much! For that reason I will never learn Yoruba. My world is still intact! They should come and learn my language, mtchew!

  18. You hand. This is a simple issue. When stayed long talking Instead of going out. Put your phone on record without them knowing. Pretend as if you are doing something with your phone and record everything they said then send it to someone that understands their language to translate for you.
    The deed has been done. Unfriend that friend. Never invite her to your home again. As per your husband. Tell him how disappointed you feel. If he can sideline you while talking to your friend in your own house, what happens when you are not around.
    Bebe make a concious effort to learn his language. It might be difficult but try. Look for where his local language is being thought and learn, you can also get an online teacher
    Calm down. All is well

    1. Zaram Zaram!! This your comment got me laughing and rolling on the floor. so funny but true. You got the simple solution 100% @ your first paragraph. You are very smart in making decisions dear.

    2. Exactly Zaram, poster you should have recorded the conversation. That's how my bestie was doing with my husband too cos I don't understand their language. I recorded everything and sent to another friend for interpretation. Only to find out my husband is asking her for a date. The so called bestie was so happy that the husband man prefer her to me. I confronted my husband,he denied it. I just told him that I understand their language but only pretend I don't

    3. You guys must have some worthless friendships that you’ll just destroy one over something so trivial

    4. I like this solution 👍

    5. 16:57 I have been seeing your comments upandan. It seems you are doing the same thing. If so try to desist because it is not a nice thing to do.

  19. Poster i like the fact you spoke your mind in the presence of both. Truth is your husband is a flirt and your friend is also a flirt, what kind of married woman is that your friend? As a single girl i have limit so i wonder what kind of friend you got, also prepare your mind husband man is a cheat.

  20. That person was never your friend! For someone like me ehn.. the first time they start that their disrespectful language friendship gist, I will quickly interrupt them and ask for a detailed and comprehensive answer as to why there was a language switch.

    I detest disrespect of any kind

    1. Be calming down
      You’ll never find a better human than me and even I switch before I catch myself or someone says something

    2. @anon 16:58... Please indulge my curiosity. What do you mean by "you'll never find a better human than me"?

      Because I know I have seen and met better humans more wonderful and most importantly with pure souls than you.

    3. Anon 16:58 go and learn social etiquette. That’s a very rude and disrespectful behaviour.

    4. 16:58 is the same anon going upandan trying to justify rubbish. Continue.

  21. As innocent as your friend is, she is a Terrible person with no boundaries. How dare she?

  22. Keep your marriage.

    Majority of women enjoy the attention of other men apart from their partners. Some women go home sad and wondering if no man paid attention to them even if they went out with their partners.

    Work on your body (not surgery o) and mind for yourself if you have let go because of marriage and children.

    If you do stupid because a friend was stupid who loses? Or do you want to break your marrige
    or her marriage or your both marriages? If you do, to what gain?

    As Stella said, just keep that woman at arms length - particularly, no more gists wiith her about your marriage and husband.

    Mr. Mann

  23. What both of them did is very wrong speaking language u don't understand, but pls u have to forgive them and move on with ur life.

  24. Remember MERCY who took her married friend’s husband. Na so e take start.

    1. I TIRE O

      Some people even claiming her friend is innocent because she showed her their chats, chats that by the way demean the wife.

      Abeg that is not a good friend.

  25. I don’t think shel show you their chats if there was any ulterior motive so pls calm down.You’re sounding as if they’ve been fucking for 8 years.

    1. How are you sure, boundaries have not crossed. People do things in a coded manner. It is just well. I won't chat like that with husband's friend or allow it.

  26. You are jobless and what makes you not to learn their language if you want to hear what they are talking pls if you are insecure you will harm yourself,and all you commentators why is it that your mind are evil always thinking it will end in relationships,which you are indirectly saying men are dogs and not trust worthy

    She has been chatting with YOUR HUSBAND for 8 years and YOU DIDNOT KNOW????
    She never mentioned it.
    Your HORSEBAND never mentioned it???
    8 years?
    8 year old pikin don enter JS1.
    Having a conversation in a language others don't understand is BEYOND RUDE and is only done with the parties dont want mothers to know what they are saying.
    As for your horseband, hmmmm, go for tests, protect yourself and stay several steps ahead.
    You have been NAIVE for too long.

  28. This friend is also married,so she could have deleted the incriminating text messages, so as not to put her marriage in jeopardy. People can have clean and dirty chats with a particular person, so they can wipe off the dirty and leave the clean. I do it too!!!
    I have a married man who is my friend, my family knows him, but they don't know he has been wanting to have a sexual relationship with me, I always delete his nasty messages, so I can show my fiance my chats with this man ( Fiance knows him), if he demands to see our chats. I have been friends with this married man for almost 7 years. Apart from his sexual demands, he is a really good man, that's why we are still friends..
    8 years of conversation and none of them thought to mention, your husband took active steps to conceal their communications and never mentioned all that time that they were in active contact. WHY????? I think all the times he asked, he did that to check if you knew anything YET, or if your friend had hinted you. If your friend didn't want whatever it was that they shared/are sharing, she could have one day casually mentioned one day that 'aaah me and your husband spoke two days ago, hope he is fine'

    If your husband was being irresponsible by excluding you from a conversation by speaking your language, your friend could have had your back or feigned loyalty at least while still in your House by speaking English to redirect the conversation, at least out of regard for you, since your husband decided to act like a teenager who just had his first crush and erection. If she had responded twice in English, your husband would have stopped that rubbish.

    Why did she have to share with you that your husband compared you to her, if not out of poorly concealed jealousy? She wanted you to know that your husband thinks she is better than you

    Bear it in mind that your husband has been disloyal and so has your friend. Make peace with it, keep your friend at arms length and brace yourself for the future because if your husband could do this, well.....

    Just shaaa know that this man could disappoint you (like most men), vent and let him know this wounded you, let him know you don't trust him anymore and that you are disappointed, withdraw/suspend
    some privileges and sacrifices to send him a clear message. But whatever you discover in future about him and other women should not shock you.

    You will heal. My love to you.

    1. Poster I would be beyond livid if I find out that my so call bestie is talking to my so called husband behind my back

      The rubbish questions your husband was asking you about her was for what kwanu??? When they were always chatting.
      That is NOT A FRIEND
      I would also never tell my girls if their husbands is foolish enough to compare me with them.
      That is absolute rubbish

      Poster keep that woman at arms length and let your husband know that you know he’s shady and he should imagine you chatting with his friend for 8 years and always coming to ask him of that same friend.
      Let him know that two can play that game and he shouldn’t take your loyalty for foolishness


      Mma Nwachukwu

  29. I can't with my friends husband too, once a while, ever since she gave him my number. But I don't tell her, neither did he. She might become insecure if she sees our chats, nothing fishy, but plenty of compliments and vista he can comfortably vtell me. If my husband sees my chat, I don't think he will like it, so I clear it. We are just friends who enjoy each others company. Nothing more .

    1. End it please.

    2. You are slimy and May another woman do the same to you

      I called my friends husband to wish him a happy birthday and he replied later saying thank you.
      I replied again and then he replied and I left jt
      Wetin we dey talk about again


    3. Pls women let's stop pretending to each other. You know the right thing to do, stop responding and it would decline. You're enabling it by keeping it going. Be enjoying his company until it leads to something else...

  30. You have no business whatsoever chatting with you friend's husband or your relatives husband for that long.
    People should learn hoe to do boundaries. The woman is your friend not her husband.

    Respect people's relationships. Don't you know that it hurts more when someone you know is the one behind your tears?

    Poster be ver careful with your girlfriend. She isn't your friend in any way. What if your hubby had even told her some family secrets of yours?

  31. Your friend is an enabler, and your husband has no regards for you.

  32. Dunno why people don't respect boundaries sha. Dunno why

  33. If Poster was doing the same with her friend's husband, would the friend and Poster's husband be fine about it?

    If they still feel nothing is wrong, ask to show their chats to the friend's husband. What nonsense!

    I'm single but I would never be seen chatting with my friends' husbands. For what naw? When one was in my area and chatted me that we should meet up and he was alone, I made up excuses not to show. Not because I suspect anything bad but out of respect for my friend's feelings.

  34. Darling, ever heard of reverse psychology? Let me paint a couple of scenarios. #1. A man keeps telling his wife how much skinny girls are a major turn off and how curves are sexy. Poor wifey hires a skinny househelp, she rests assured that there will be no room for temptations. Guess what? It turns out that hubby's "spec" is actually skinny chics. He told his wife the opposite so she can unknowingly do exactly what he wanted her to do.

    #2. A lady meets up with her boyfriend and gives him a bearhug and a kiss. She reeks of male cologne. Before her boyfriend can say a word, she says "babe do you like the perfume I'm wearing? I went shopping with a colleague and helped her pick out a cologne for her husband." Her boyfriend heaves a sigh of relief. Surely, she wouldn't come this close for her boyfriend to smell the cologne if she was up to no good, no? It turns out she was with her "side cock" who mistakenly spilled his cologne and she got a slash. She goes for the preemptive strike. She acts like she has nothing to hide, while she has plenty to hide.

    Just because your friend showed you her chats with your hubby doesn't necessarily mean she has nothing to hide. It could also be that she wants you to think she has nothing to hide so you wouldn't suspect anything, especially as your hubby was almost showing his hand. Honey, if she were that blameless, how come she didn't tell you 8 years ago when the chatting started? Why are you just hearing about it now? If my friend's hubby reaches out to me via WhatsApp or any other form of communication, I will tell her immediately. Secondly, why does your hubby keep asking after her from you, when they communicate regularly? And why is your friend acting surprised that your hubby is a good story teller, shouldn't that be evident after 8 years of communication?

    I have seen too much treachery and the ugliness of the human mind in my line of work. Most of the "other women" were friends of the wives at a time. The behaviour of your hubby and your friend is highly inappropriate and disrespectful. Clearly they both have boundary issues. I wouldn't be naive if I were you. Each episode may seem innocent but when you sum them together...

    You need to have a long talk with hubby. I don't know the dynamics of your relationship but a husband should show his wife more respect and be sensitive to her emotions. Good luck, Sweetie.

    e-hugs and kisses.

    1. Ronalda I love your comment. The husband and the friend are not innocent at all

  35. Be prayerful and keep your friend at arms length. God will reveal more to you. Peace be to your home

  36. who knows your husband might be the father of her kids...nonsense

  37. ...I was with 2 colleagues of mine (male and female), we were speaking English and a sprinkling of pidgin. The guy suddenly switched to another language I understand, one we both clearly know the third party does not understand. As he spoke the language I kept replying in English, hoping he'd get the point, he didn't. I had to plainly say it there and then to him that it was rude to switch language when there was a third party who didn't understand....Your husband and your friend were clearly out of line...& What's with chatting privately for up to 8 years without your knowledge, chatting about what? Hell no! If you were chatting with your husband's friend for 8 years, without his knowledge, village people will table your matter in August meeting. People steady dishing what they can't take. You did not over react my sister, you under reacted!

  38. Irresponsible friend + irresponsible husband = yulgatopia.
    Madam, you too invite a friend from your language to your house for 2 hours and be sneaking kparakpo, make sure your husband is seated in your midst, so that you can be using your language to do table tennis over his head, let him see how it feels.
    And also try and find out if any of her children bear any resemblance to your husband.
    8 years?????
    I wonder what else he has kept from you???

  39. Sorry poster, na so life be. I always draw the line between my husband and my friends. I tell them that I do not need them to be friends oh, they can be friendly but no time for stupid friendship. Both your husband and friend have hurt you by their actions, but how you handle it totally depends on you. Just follow your heart, if it works out it works out or if it scatters it scatters. Pele

  40. Firstly

    You cooked up a storm and they must have put sleeping tablet. Once you slept, they fucked.
    Worse case scenario.

    She has a lot to hide
    Both of them

    You have no business being friends with her
    Reevaluate your relationship with your hubby.


  41. Oh the irony of life
    If your friend didn’t show you the chats, you’ll probably be ignorantly blisfful and only mad about the language switch
    But here we are. She showed you to show you all is well but you feel even worse
    You know your friend better than us
    If you don’t have reason to distrust her or your man, I suggest you drop this matter quickly
    Some people are saying they would have kicked her out of their life by now, but I’m wondering why she’s tolerating this level of disrespect from you
    I shouldn’t have to prove to my friend that there’s nothing between me and her man. The sheer nerve of you to ask them this is enough to kill a marriage or friendship.

  42. First of all, I thank God your friend is married, not single if not the abuse that would have been reigned on single women here today would have been thunderous. Second of all, I don't know why but some women just enjoy male attention, it doesn't matter who it is coming from.. their man oh, their friend's man, their sister's man, as long as na man. A compliment, a smile and they are already won over and some even take pride in it, that a friend's man finds them attractive or gist worthy. Third of all, forgive them and let go of the anger, but be careful. I applaud you for speaking your mind though, cos that level of closeness is wrong and could lead to an emotional affair...

    1. You saw it too, right? Some people are telling poster she's overreacting because her friend is married. If she was single, the insults for no be here.

  43. You people saying this don't understand how it feels ,if it's just the chat it will be pardonable ,the main reason is total neglect and switch to a different language and both of them ignoring her haba it's not good at all.
    Poster I truly understand you, if it's me I no dey pretend o I will tell bikonu speak the one I ll understand with a straight face,they will get the message and if they continue I ll tell my friend babe wetin dey sup nah, of which of we enter inside what I will tell my husband he better not imagine it, but come to think of it na from you your husband know the lady or what ,women let's be wise after chatting with her behind my back he is now telling you ,don't be friends with her abeg both of them shld gettat, nonsense poster ignore them for your peace sake inukwa nonsense and ingredients, mtcheww
    Stella pls post makana the man no do well at all


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