Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative

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Monday, October 02, 2023

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative

Hmmmmm....


STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
ADVICE NEEDED

Madam Stella, please post as I need your opinion and that of other BV's on this.
My elder brother got married last year and I am 3 years older than my sister-in-law. Prior to the wedding, I don't really have a close relationship with her and that's because we stay in different states but get to talk on phone once in a while and I have only met her twice before the wedding.

Being older that her, I address her by her name and try to make her feel at home as per she is now part of the family but one way or the other, I think she doesn't like me addressing her by her name ( I don't know if she expects me to call her "aunty" or something) but to my mind I don't think it's a big deal addressing her by her name owing to the fact that I am 3 years older than her and I accord her respect as per my elder brother's wife.

Please sister-in-law's and elderly people in the house what do you think because I am planning on spending Christmas with them by December and I really want everyone to be cool and just have a great holiday.

P.S we are from the Western part of Nigeria. Thank you.


You should call her AUNTY because of what?
Anyway normally even me i dont have respect so i am the last person that should even give advice on this Narrative...I call everyone by their first name and expect to be called by my first name as well  *strolls out of post*

145 comments:

  1. I don’t get what she wants you to address her with o.Its like head is paining your sister inlaw sef.Youre older than her and she’s looking for aunty from you?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Please call her by her name period..

      Delete
    2. if it is your tradition then call her aunty

      Delete
    3. Call her "my iyawo" until she gives birth. Change it to her Iya baby name......

      Problem solved. Life no too hard sister.

      Delete
    4. Clearly your brother is the one with the problem cause obviously he has not told her you are older than her. I was once in your shoes and my parents put the lady in her place. Mine was even more insulting cause I married before him. Richer than both of them combined but becuase he was just 4 years older than me the silly girl was looking for respect. Infact my husband is older than my brother and bigger but i did not ask my brother to call my husband sir or bros. I even gave birth before the idiot oh. So imagine the insult. I kept my calm for awhile but at a point i had to let her know her place cause in nothing can this yeye girl stand me oh not even in beauty or body. Am not even exaggerating but this girl is not up to 2% of me. So imagine my mental state cause i wanted this madam to feel at home. The yeye girl my parents give monthly allowance and me one kobo since age 21 i did not collect. My lady. Call her boldly by name and never ever look back. Also please stay in your house. Why do you want to go to their house for Christmas ? You don't have yours abi you don't have boyfriend? You want more insult or what? Now mine cannot even look at my face and cannot stand where I am. And yes I am a full blooded yoruba girl. The girl am talking about nobody in my family and extended can stand her now cause of what happened between us. Till today my parents keep wondering how he met their son. Very backward human beings including my brother cause that one too is daft.

      Delete
    5. I'm older than my eldest brother's wife. When they got married, i started calling her madam. It was till last year she told me to call her by her name. That is after 21yrs of them being married oh. So no biggie, just call her madam or our wife or iyawo. Case close. But mind yourself and always ask permission before you enter her kitchen, cos na that one they bring insult.

      Delete
    6. Anon 18:07, what is the actual problem? You sound very bitter and upset. You sound like a controlling, manipulative and arrogant person. Look how you refer to your own brother and his wife condescendingly while boasting about your “achievements “. Since you are so much more than them and have succeeded in turning everyone against her, why are you still so bitter? Joke’s clearly on you!

      You better cleanse your soul from all the bile resident in it so you can be at peace with yourself.

      Delete
    7. The way you are so insulting of YOUR own family in the midst of absolute strangers says so much about you than you can imagine.
      Before you know it, one headless roach will come here looking for more entertainment and ask you to 'prove' comment.

      Delete
    8. Call her Aunty for what? She should be the one calling you aunty if at all, as per you are older than she is, poster let her carry face if she likes, send her not. Keep being good to her, however if she starts overstepping her boundary and being disrespectful, keep her at arms length, dey your dey.
      O badi 'aunty'.

      Delete
    9. Anon 18: 07. Are you ok at all. Why are you thinking so highly of yourself, placing yourself on a pedestal while having a condescending attitude towards another?
      What you define as riches to you may be regarded as rags by another. Humble yourself lest life humbles you.

      Delete
    10. You can coin a nickname (iyawo wa, opelenge etc) for her instead of calling her by her name since she's not comfortable with you calling her by her name. As she's Yoruba I wonder why she is expecting you to call her anty when you're even older than her.

      Delete
    11. All my sister's inlaw call me iyawo, and they are all older than me and I call them aunty.

      Delete
    12. But are you assuming or did she say something to do? If you already sense issues then why are you going there for xmas? Why not stay in your place? It may also be that you are the one disrespecting her because you think you are older and now ur coming to claim she is the issue. Women from the mans family can we the problem then u come and gas light ppl and act innocent.

      Delete
    13. Anon 18:07 I feel sorry for your sister in law without even hearing her side. Just read your comment and see how negative it is.You have it all but you obviously lack wisdom to know that no condition is permanent. If all your family turned against her because of the issue you had with her, she is better off without you guys. Pray for wisdom. You need it asap.

      Delete
  2. I think she has tradition wrong
    If she married into your family, she should be the one to call you aunt and not the other way round

    But why are you planning to spend one of the best times of the year with someone that doesn’t seem to like you?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's her brother, she has every right to spend Xmas there, so far he welcomes her. His wife should look bush.

      Delete
    2. Very good point. I don't understand why she wants to spend Xmas with them. There is little friction already from simply calling her by her name + they just got married last year. Give them space to enjoy their honeymoon phase please. 2 years into my marriage, my house clothes were bra and pant. You can visit when kids start arriving.

      Delete
    3. Blackberry I have a right to visit my brother but if his wife doesn’t like me, I’m not going for Christmas
      Maybe another small holiday

      Delete
    4. Black Berry she has no right! It's the womans house not sister in law. Also from the narrative the lady already dislikes her SIL so why would she go to such environment?

      Delete
    5. I believe the whole family will be coming together for Xmas and so she will be around them is what she meant, but if that isn't the case, she should make another plan for Xmas, unless she wants a regrettable holiday.

      Delete
  3. No now. For the fact that you are older, why should you call her aunty? You either call her by her name or If she has kids, you can call her by her first kid's name and if no kids you can call her ' iyawo'. In those days, If it is in yoruba culture, na she suppose give you pet name even if she is older than you her and dare not call you by your name.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Poster,you are obviously older than your brother's wife,full 3years,yet it seems you are considering calling her aunty πŸ™„πŸ™„for what now,are you that insecure or what? Besides you said you "think" in your narrative,seems like you are the one just feeling somehow about this,the wife never said anything to you about aunty or no aunty,stop being paranoid,call her by her name with confidence abegg,when she has a baby you can change to calling her by her child's name,don't ever bring yourself low with the aunty nonsense,go there for your Christmas holiday with a clear mind,if she gives you attitude, pack your things and leave please

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gbam! lobatan

      Delete
    2. @anon 15:12, some people want peace at all cost dear, I used to be like that too.....omo! didnt work for me o. I am now full case OYO! Once I sense nonsense, i withdraw fully o.

      Delete
  5. Hope u won't feel bad if she addresses u by ur first name too?
    Call her wify, our wife, my brother's love, just give a name not necessarily her first name... We ladies dish out what we can't take..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She won’t feel bad
      Call her by her name

      Delete
    2. Why should she call her Aunty,Person wey she senior? Inukwa

      Delete
    3. All my husband's sisters and brother both the younger and elder ones don't call me by my name and I don't call them by theirs, I'm older than some and younger than some.. Even before I had any child..

      Delete
    4. May we not swallow nonsense in the name of being married.

      Sluttychic.

      Delete
    5. Mrs Sharon that’s in your family
      In ours, everyone goes by name. In-laws and all. No exception and everyone is fine

      Delete
    6. Words on Marble.2 October 2023 at 16:01

      Why would the wife call the poster by her name? Where would she tell them she got the audacity from considering the poster is older? They are from the western part of the country and that is their culture. This poster is probably not married hence the attitude from the wife because what kind of a chronicle is this?

      Delete
    7. So Sharon you will feel comfortable seeing your husband's sisters who are older than you call you aunty?

      Delete
    8. But the poster can call the wife by her own? The same audacity u had for calling my name that's the same u get.. Call my name and I can urs... No time for one sided respect..

      Delete
    9. Secondly, you said non of them calls you by name and you in turn do not call them by name either, so it's 1-1 nobody disrespects each other. Even if you are older than them and they call you by your name and you don't feel bad about it, then it's fine. Some older people don't mind being address by their names. When you meet someone who is older than you, first add the respect to their names. They should be the ones to tell you if they are ok with the aunty that you add to their names or not. If they ask you to remove the aunty, please do as they wish so long as they are cool with it. But it is very rude of a younger person to espect an older person to add the respect to their names just because they are married or because their husbands are wealthier than the other women's husbands, except they are your employers and not family members

      Delete
    10. Words on Marble.2 October 2023 at 17:15

      Mrs Sharon, the poster is older than the wife. They are not of the same age. In their culture, that is how it is done even the wife knows this.

      You can't get married to someone from that culture and try what you just wrote when it is an older sibling and you are younger.

      People should understand the cultural differences and assess the culture they are marrying into and not go into such families and start expecting them to bend their traditions for you.

      Delete
    11. The things Nigerians major in eh? SMH you really think Aunty or uncle prefixing your name means respect? Lol.

      Delete
    12. Nobody is saying the poster should call her Aunty but calling her by her name is wrong, they are not friends and she married her older brother...
      What if it the wife that is older, and calls her by ur name? U know some ladies gets offended by this too?.. That notion that it's only the wife that needs to give respects and not get back is wrong...
      Poster please call her wify, not aunty, our wife or just give her a beautiful name.

      Delete
    13. What audacity Sharon? That you are married to my brother does not give you the right to belittle me, not even when I’m older than you.
      Does it even make sense to you addressing your junior as aunty? It’s like you don’t want to be married in peace.
      If you try that shit with me, you’ll regret it.

      Sluttychic.

      Delete
    14. @sluttychic, so because I married ur brother, u have the right to come to my house and order me around, shout my name at will but I can't do the same? Is ur brother a price.. Even if u are my senior, aunty respect yourself, even u no go get peace.. Better still stay in ur house.

      Delete
    15. Aunty Sharon, stop spicing up the chronicle to suit your narrative. Dear wify Sharon, no where in the chronicle did the poster say she orders her around or shout her name at the top of her voice. Stop making up things!
      PS: poster, please call that silly goose by her name. I hate nonsense!

      Delete
    16. Words on Marble.2 October 2023 at 20:06

      Mrs sharon, it is not wrong in their "YORUBA CULTUREEEEEE" for the elder one to call the younger one by her name irrespective of her being married to their elder brother as long as that person is older. Emphasis on the "yoruba culture".

      This is not about your feelings or what you think is right or wrong. Vexing or refusing to acknowledge it doesn't change anything.

      I saw this first-hand years back when the wife was six years younger than the sister. The wife was calling the lady by her name because she was married to the elder brother and the other one was single. So she felt she had rights as a married woman and a wife to the elder brother. They did family meeting on her head. She vexed and said she wanted out of the marriage and the husband told her he would file for a divorce. They were Yorubas. When she saw that the whole family was serious she knelt down and begged the younger sister. Since that day when I hear people are getting married to others from different tribes I tell them to be mindful of the culture.

      If you are married to a yoruba man all these your online talks will end here online if that is how the younger sister wants to address you and there is no way, your husband's younger sisters who are old enough to be your elder ones will call you aunty simply before you call them aunty because it is naturally expected of you as the younger one and as a wife who married into the family. If you meet a younger sister that is older but still addresses as an aunty she just feels like because their tradition doesn't encourage it at all.


      In igbo land a man can't claim a child if he didn't pay the bride price of the mother even if he takes responsibility of the child. This wouldn't make sense to you if you are not from there and you will give one thousand reasons why it shouldn't be so, just like you are doing right now but that is the culture.
      I think Yorubas do not give importance to a male child over a female child but in some cultures aside igbo having a male son is paramount. I don't know what tribe slutyychic is from but if she was yoruba and you married into her family, you can't try anything if she is older and she calls you by your name, you have no choice but to call her aunty. You will just seethe in her absence but can't be outright rude to her face.

      Delete
    17. But what exactly is wrong in her calling a younger one by her name? Whether she has children or not, the way people carry this nonsense on their head is nauseating.
      I am yoruba but will continue to call anyone I'm older than by their name, in law or not.
      I call my younger brother's wife who I am older than by just 1 year and a few months by name and heaven has not fallen. I don't even care if she calls me by my name although she calls me by my daughter's name.
      I have mentioned here before about my mum in law suggesting I call my husband's oldest niece (who I am older than by 6 years) aunty, I told my mum in law instantly that I can't and won't call someone I am older than 'aunty' and she never raised that talk with me again.
      I don't mind calling you aunty or mummy kinikan so long as you are older than I am, even if na by 1 day but say I'm older? Nope.

      Delete
    18. Lmao. So not calling you “aunty” is ordering you around?
      You can’t even stop me from visiting my brother anyway.
      I hope you know that you are the stranger in that house?
      Marriage can pack up and you both go your separate ways but he’ll always be my brother.
      I can imagine the hell you give your own sis in-laws.

      Sluttychic.

      Delete
    19. Sharon yes o, the brother is the prizeπŸ˜„. If he didn't marry her, she for run go MFM Abi what's the name of that church, for marital breakthrough.

      Delete
  6. I don't think there is any problem,I am also two years older than my sister in law and I call her by her name but I accord her with respect.

    Infact in my family,it's not a big deal because our senior iyawo's even call me by name or name of my child without using 'E' but the respect is mutual.
    I am also from the west.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yours is from a different scenario. It's just two years difference, that's not a big deal, she can still call you by your name but it will be rude of her to espect you to call her aunty even after knowing that you are older than her

      Delete
  7. Well since she didn’t really tell you this herself you can’t be so sure she really wants you to call her Anty.
    It doesn’t even make any sense wanting someone older than you to call you Anty.
    She may have other issues with you asides the name issue.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Chika(hello iya Boys)2 October 2023 at 19:13

      Nne for peace to Reign ooo
      If nah me I will just be calling her Iyawo seems is your Elder brothers wife..
      But what does she calls you kwanu...
      Me I dnt have wahala I like to be called My Name o or Mama Chidera walaha no dey there jareeee...

      Delete
  8. Call her by her name. She hasn't told you she doesn't like it when you call her by her name, right? If she does, ask her what she expects you to call her.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Consider it a compliment
      Perhaps she doesn't know your age and believes marriage makes her superior

      Ignore her ignorance call her iyawo when children come change it to the child's name and say
      "Mama so and so"

      Delete
  9. Poster be calling her ‘aunty mama’ πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚.. make she come abroad come see 2 year old call you by your name anyhow.. aunty my foot

    ReplyDelete
  10. Call her by her name abeg.

    If she's not proud of her name, she should change it. No be you do her.😎

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Call her by her name,you are older than her,.
      How can you call someone than you are older than Aunty.
      Na wah ooo
      Call her by her name and when she puts to birth,you can now call her by her child's name.

      Delete
  11. Hmmmmmmm, she has pride in her, give her distance and don't call her any aunty, aunty for what? In Yoruba land she owes you big respect for marrying into your family, my cousin's wife called me aunty and I used to call her by her name until she gave birth,we are very close, I just got to know I'm just 3 months older , since then I've been according her respect and she always look me one kind of i use respect for hee

    ReplyDelete
  12. Poster I call my step uncle's wife by her name.
    My step uncle is like 12yrs older than me, but I'm older than his wife with about 5 yrs. She is the one that calls me aunty.
    We are from the South South.
    I call her by her first name all the time. And she has no issues with it, she calls me aunty....
    So if your brother's wife wants you to call her aunty and your brother supposmrts that rubbish? Then avoid them by all means.
    Highest if you must go there you can call her by her child's name for example mummy-Pamela.
    Infact if na me I go avoid them totally

    ReplyDelete
  13. Call her 'iyawo,,' case close.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank u,.. U are respecting ur older brother through her.

      Delete
    2. Only call her that if you want to
      If not, then use her name. the end. Cause you call her iyawo, then she too has to call you sister or aunty and who says she wants to do that

      Delete
    3. Chika(hello iya boys)2 October 2023 at 19:15

      πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘

      Delete
  14. Most women when they marry they just dey look for some kind respect sha. Abeg poster call her by her name. You are older than her.

    Abroad na your name dem go address you with o. Even if you be grandma.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Na we western dey always want to be called aunty and brother


    I call two of my in laws by their names because I see them as my brother and sister

    Since you have started calling her by her name no going back, don't start what you can't finish

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But even if she had not started calling her by her name would you still advice her to call her aunty? Someone that she is older than? Is it done anywhere? When the person is not your employer?

      Delete
  16. Call her by her name or iyawo.
    She can't expect you to call her aunty .

    ReplyDelete
  17. Call her by her name. And while planning to visit them for Christmas, make sure you “hold” your side.
    Sometimes, go to the market and prepare meals with your own money for the house. Buy little little stuff and keep in the house so you won’t have to depend πŸ’― on them. That will earn you some respect.

    Sluttychic.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. U go to someone house and start to go to market and cook for the house, is she her brother second wife? It is a competition, respect yourself in ur brother's house and u gets respected too, calling her wify or being nice doesn't mean they are friends..

      Delete
    2. Na wa oh
      This your house go hard to visit oh
      Someone cannot cook in your house

      Delete
    3. Words on Marble.2 October 2023 at 17:21

      Why can't she cook? If the wife's sister was the one who came around she would be forbidden to step into the kitchen? Slutyychic even said she should prepare meal for the house not for herself alone.

      The way you said "Someone 's house" like she is going to a stranger's house.

      Delete
    4. I wrote “sometimes” I am in no competition with anyone, I’m simply respecting myself and doing what is right....that’s how I was raised.
      You don’t expect me to sit all through my stay there and eat all what they provide, NO.
      I don’t want to hear tomorrow, I did this and that.

      Sluttychic.

      Delete
    5. Many ladies feels it is because the poster is not married but nooooo, it is not about marital status... Yorubas that likes respect very well will never allow any wife to address anybody in the house by their names except but few..
      But they can call the wife by her name. . This includes the husband brothers, orders her around and the parents support it.

      Delete
  18. No need to call her Aunty. Call her Iyawo or our wife. Where I come from, the wives/sisters-in-law call us(men and women) their husbands. And we(men and women) in turn call them our wives. The respect is mutual, whether older or younger.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Words on Marble.2 October 2023 at 15:56

    Ignore her

    ReplyDelete
  20. How can you married into someone's family and go there to carry shoulder for them, even when you are not older?Call her by her name, she is the one that is supposed to give you respect as her in-law.

    ReplyDelete
  21. You can call her sister-in-law instead of Aunty. I called my sister-in-law who I am older than sister for peace to reign when I was living with them even till now.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. God forbid!! My parents will not even hear of this nonsense.
      How can you call someone you are older than “sister”
      Are they feeding you? God forbid!!

      Sluttychic.

      Delete
    2. Stuart, some things can be done foe peace to reign!!!

      Delete
    3. Sluttychic, you are not Yoruba, so it's different

      Delete
    4. @Honey, her responses are even more'yorubaish' than yours and she is right.
      The fact that your in laws uses e and not o for you does not mean it is the norm. If they decide to call you by your name today there is nothing you can do or say about it. Your case is an exception and not the rule. If you truly are a yoruba lady, you would know this.

      Delete
    5. 07:27, they can't try it because my husband is not a moron. He will call them to order sharply. Besides I'm older than all my sisters inlaw. The men among them that are older than me have sense, they can't do that, my husband won't allow it if they even try it. They are all well-trained. I also accord them respect

      Delete
  22. Yeah Stella I remember you said that you don't like aunty or madam title to your name, that we should call you by your name.

    ReplyDelete
  23. If she has a baby,you address her as ' Mumm kini' or call her 'wiffy' , all join.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Your brother married her and brought her into your family. She is the one that is supposed to give respect to the husband's family.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And doesn't deserve any in returned.. Respect is mutual

      Delete
    2. Because they did her a favour by marrying her?
      She deserves to be respected too. If her husband is responsible, he will call his sister to order.

      Delete
  25. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ Stella, I'm like you oo, I call everyone by their name.

    Poster, why do you want to spend Christmas with them? Please find another place unless they invited you.
    Does she call you auntie? If yes, add iyawo (or how do you Nigerians say it?) to her name. If she doesn't, call her by her name and be unapologetic about it.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Seriously. When girls marry like this they begin to expect the unmarried ones to respect them not minding the fact that the unmarried ones may be older than them. This is bad.

    Poster, avoid going to stay with them except you want to experience see finish, because this kind of wife, she will espect you to run all the errands that little children will run in the house. She might even claim that you are inconveniencing her in her husbands house. I understand that when you visit them you mustn't be told to support in doing the chores , the need to support her should come naturally if you are a responsible lady; but for this new wife that you described here, lol, one day she will call you, 'Nkechi! when you wake up take the broom and sweep the house you hear?' 'When you are done please wash the bathroom, while I do the cooking'

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£, if the poster want to be addresse with respect, she should stop calling her brother's wife by her name oh.. Because someday the wife will also call her by her own name too.. Hope she won't feel bad or disrespected.

      Delete
    2. Well, people like that know who they can do that to.
      Being unmarried is not a disease, stop bringing yourselves too low.
      Everyone should respect themselves accordingly but if you want to show yourself, I will follow suit lets do it together make we see who go tire.

      Sluttychic.

      Delete
    3. Mrs Sharon why are you all over the place? Poster call her by her name! Even with children call her name! She must be mental to expect you to call her aunty! Is she mad! Or is she tired of the marriage!!! Go there and spend Christmas, is your brother's house! If she gives you attitude! Hold your money to be eating out and cook your own meal until you leave! That's how, all this Nigerian entitled yeye wives start nonsense.

      Delete
    4. Words on Marble.2 October 2023 at 17:40

      I don't even think Mrs Sharon knows how the yorubas operate. That is how they do their thing. The poster knows this hence she added they are all from the western part.

      The reason why the wife seems to have an issue with it is simply because as a married woman a single lady is the one addressing her that way even though the single lady is older. She wouldn't have had a problem with it if poster was also married.

      Even if she has kids, poster will still call her by her name if she likes and no one will bat an eyelid not even her husband. She shouldn't have married from her side when she knows she has a problem with their ways.

      Delete
    5. @17:11, once I respect u, I expect to be respected back, if I don't call u by ur name don't call mine, we can all be silly together, don't expect what u can't give simple.

      Delete
    6. @Mrs Sharon is like you have Anuty syndrome, no wonder you put Mrs in your moniker

      Delete
    7. Rest aunty Sharon! Be still in Jesus name.

      Delete
    8. Lol @17:11
      Are you a man or a woman?
      If you are a woman and married, would you accept a sister-in-law who does as you have advised?
      Lol.

      Delete
    9. Beejay🀣🀣🀣

      Delete
    10. πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£@beejay u are getting me wrong, I treat people exactly how u treat me, don't expect any different..
      @19:23, ok Amen..
      Many advices we give here, we don't take them... The poster is a Yoruba lady, and they are call their wives'iyawo'why not call her that?
      Not calling Sharon up and now, did u name her? Will u take it?

      Delete
  27. Women And Wahala πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™ƒ

    ReplyDelete
  28. My own is, poster stay your house! They are newly married. Give them space to figure out how to live with each other without family members in the picture.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No it’s Christmas
      They want to be with family
      Either she goes or the brother will go home to where his sister is

      Delete
    2. Why should the brother go home to where the sister is?

      Delete
  29. Poster you need to apply wisdom here.you can attach "Sister' to her name just to have peace and be in good terms with your brother.you don't want to have issues with your elder brother,do you? pls ignore her childish behavior and do not let anything come between you and your brother.

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    1. Sister to someone that I’m theee years older than
      Y’all play like this

      Delete
  30. Well by my training, you don’t look at the person’s age, you look at the position they occupy. She is ur ELDER brother’s wife, and even if u r hundred years older than her, you have to respect her. If she was ur junior brother’s wife, even if she was older, she wudn’t expect u to call her Anty.
    I am older than my eldest brother’s wife, even educationally, i have far more educational qualifications, i call her anty ****
    This life is simple, we would all get what we dish out. As for Stella, she is now a european, living in europe, it is part of their culture to address ppl by their first names, even if they r as old as our grand parents, but we are Africans and we have a certain way we do things.

    This same thing happens in work places, because a subordinate is older, they find it difficult to follow instructions because the superior officer is younger, it is all bullshit, u r just respecting the office/position not the person. So in this case, whatever and however u address her, know that u r not doing her directly, u r doing it for ur brother and one day u wud also be a wife somewhr, the universe has a way of bringing bck wat we sent out. Good luck!

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    1. It is a culture thing, not a corporate thing or position of being married to an elder brother. Even the wife's mother will chastise her if she complains about her husband's sister calling her by her name to her. Yoruba people na their way. Even if she marries her uncle and she is younger, just forget it! No difference.

      Delete
    2. If this writer becomes a wife and the younger brother or sister to her husband calls her by her name she won't complain as long as they are older than her except she is a hypocrite.
      Even the wife some are making a case for is doing it to her brothers' wife she is older than. E be like say you don't know yoruba people and age difference matter.

      Delete
    3. I don’t call my older brother brother so if it’s matter of respect for him, I won’t call his wife sister

      Delete
    4. You guys like making us all the same
      Say we are yorubas not we are Africans
      This title thing is not in all of Africa

      Delete
    5. 16:42 thank you
      I siad the same thing belowπŸ‘‡
      Call her iyawo or mummy this or that. She is your elder brother's wife.
      Most Igbos don't call their elder brother or sister aunty or brother, so don't expect them to respect the wife. You are Yoruba and there are certain ways to do things.

      Delete
    6. It doesn't matter the tribe you are from. Yoruba, Igbo or Hausa, don't ever call someone you are older than 'aunty' whether you are single or married. It shouldn't be a tribal thing. How can you have the insolent boldness to see it as your right to be addressed with the prefix 'Aunty' just because you are married and the older one is not married? Uwa adila gi mma okwa ya?

      Somebody wey you come rub powder when them born am, you even lick the nzu join, but because life happened and she or he married before you , they start especting that you add the respect to their names . This is not a tribal thing. No tribe made it so. No where in Igbo culture such a practice is made mandatory. It is people who don't know how to maintain their self worth that allowed such a thing to thrive in Igbo land because they feel not being married is a curse

      Delete
    7. Honey, The fact that you know yoruba gives importance to those things is the more reason why you should know she can't call the younger lady aunty. Yoruba do not call someone younger aunty irrespective of the situation. Which version of yoruba is your own. Why is your own selective? Slim shaddy leave them nah

      The wife is a daughter to the husbands mother by marriage and a sister to the husband sister by marriage. Considering the age she is automatically a younger sister, so as a younger sister the elder one should be addressing her as an aunty, according to you. Some would complain that their MIL do not take them as her daughters or the SILs do not take them as their sisters but please, if you yourself see her as your sister you will demand she calls you aunty ba or do your own sister who is older than you call you aunty?

      Some of you want your SIL to be impartial and treat you as her sister when it comes to how she interacts with her blood sisters but still wants/and will readily accept for her to treat you as a non-sister and nothing more than a brother wife when it comes to respect. Please pick a struggle.
      One is saying up there that her SIL must not cook in her kitchen and that is someone she would want to love her as a blood sister.

      Delete
    8. 7:43 where in my comment did I even mention Aunty? pls go and wash your face and read my comment again.
      I said call her her Iyawo and when she has a child, call her with her child's name (iya John, mummy Tope). You don't call her by her first name, she is your elder brother's wife, forget her age.

      Delete
    9. Honey, you should be the one to wash your face since you can't read between the lines and digest what I wrote. If she calls her iyawo and she still uses o for her please what is the point because that is the whole point not just the name alone. She calls her iyawo like you suggested and still uses o for her then what is the difference?

      Delete
  31. My hubby is 9yrs older than his sister...she calls him by his name...barely greets goodmorning sef na me wey senior her with 4yrs....don't call her aunty...

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  32. See what being caught between our traditional and western cultures can cause?

    This is a very simple matter under our traditions. Everybody knows their place(s)

    In the West of Nigeria, is a new wife not called Iyawo? And the "mi" or "wa" added sweetly as words of endearment? When the wife births a child does her "name" not change to "Iya ...."?

    Maybe Poster should follow the tradition of her origin since the Oyibo way is not working.

    ASSUMING Poster is not OVER-THINKING this matter -
    A Bv has already mentioned that there might be other issues than this name matter.

    Also, it is not uncommon for women to carry bags of boxing gloves for in-laws into marriage on the basis of what they have heard and read. So Iyawo no wan lose guard to avoid see finish and she decided to put Poster on the defensive even before Poster settles into having a sister-in-law. After all attack is better than defence. Right?

    If a post is made here on the type of relationship between Bvs want with in-laws (it has been done before) we will read from plenty Bvs saying they prefer to dey their dey, and let in-laws be on their own too. Poster, have you thought of the fact that your sister-in-law is the regular today's wife who wants in-laws off their marriages? Why the surplus calls to the extent you have noticed resentments over name used in addressing your sister-in-law?

    As if all that is not enough, you wan go spend Christmas with a new couple? Did you agree to such stay after you newly married or would you agree to it now as a newly married woman? Oh yes! The home is your brother's too. But how many women agrees to that today with their in-laws?

    Abeg,
    As a proper Yoruba woman, call your younger sister-in-law "Iyawo mi". If you cannot or do not want to, call her by name.Which ever you choose, just make the name-calling sweet.

    Sit down in your home for Christmas. Visit for a stay only after you have built a mutually respecting rapport with your sister -in-law. Your mind is already biased against the woman. If you visit, you are likely to bring a chronicle of confirmation - na wetin eye wan see eye dey see - or a chronicle that your imagination played you into sending this one. but that would be if your sister-in-law is perceptive and overwork to please you.

    And as some of us always present here, marriage is not a favour to a woman. Your brother and family did not do your sister-in-law any favour by your bother marrying her. Therefore, she is not obligated to bring any "respect" to your family or respect you as some comments seem to imply.

    By the way I am a male.

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    Replies
    1. I tire o why will you even call her aunty , she is already a bride/wife call her iyawo abeg to drag matter wey no get head no dey tire una , I'm the first wife of three brothers but you see my other co wives na iyawo m I dey call them , in turn if I call them they answer and put ma respect is a reciprocal. Simple thing wey no get head you don write chronicle if she cough her matter go reach CNN be that.
      My dear open your heart love and light. Wishing you congratulations cos you ll invite us soon for your wedding cheers s you do so πŸ’• and πŸ•―️

      Delete
  33. Calling someone does not mean respect to me.It is only in Nigeria or Africa you hear such .Respect is deeper than that.Please call her by her name but it depends on what is obtainable in your place,
    Chi chi loving

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    Replies
    1. Words on Marble.2 October 2023 at 20:17

      It is not only in Nigeria. Turkey, Japan and other countries have ways they address older people in verbal and non-verbal communication which sets apart the older from the younger ones. It is not only Africans that are traditional. Maybe not necessarily, applying the prefix "aunty" but The vowels, E' and O' yoruba people specifically apply when talking to someone older or younger is also applied in the Turkish language. The day I forced myself to speak the Turkish language while interacting with an older lady. She corrected me and told me she is allowed and can address me with the lower case letters but I can't and shouldn't because it is disrespectful. I asked around and was told she was right.

      Delete
  34. Folks are so strange, what exactly are you to call her as a family member except her name. I even call my mother by her first name from time to time, also my father, not all the times, but sometimes that is what comes out. May as well call her Mrs. whatever she is. Mtsscchhwww

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    Replies
    1. The problem the wife is having is simply because the younger sister of her husband is not married...If she was married,she will never say or even behave in a nonsense matter because they didn't put aunty before calling her....

      Me wey I never call her husband, brother na she wey be wife wey I senior I go call aunty....dey play

      Delete
  35. I think iyawo is ok just call her iyawo , senior people in our compound call me my wife ,some call me iyawo in turn I call them big uncle,big brother or onye nke m like my person everything with respect;maybe you re the one sensing it she might not unless your bro hinted you about . Pls let this minor thing not be a friction in the family ,peace and unity is good, re establish the communication call and choke her with iyawo . I don't like family Wahala

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Most times,neighbours,friends and church members will often call a new bride,Iyawo but when it comes to family, especially Yoruba.....
      Once your sister in law is older than you,you won't even expect her to add aunty or sister to your name wether she is married or not, however,some sister in law don't mind calling a new bride aunty because they overly respect their brother which the new bride must not take for granted if not she go collect.

      Delete
  36. Stella, sorry ooo, but is the chronicle pot empty? Is this even a thing, oh well it is Nigeria, what do I expect, huh...call me aunty's, call me first name, ya da ya da, culture bakwa oku, Poster call your sis in law by her name, just because she is married, does not make her better than you..give her the respect she deserves as a person and calling her by her first name does not mean you are being disrespectful, which one is Aunty? Is she your mother's or father's sister? Because according to the English dictionary, that is what 'Aunty' means.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not because of this post o. But if you can't call someone aunty because in English aunty means something else ,we have other ways of addressing older people who are not related to us by blood her in Nigeria. In Igbo we call the. Ndaa, or Dede or Dee.

      Delete
  37. I hope you see this poster. First, a lot of you don’t understand the culture of western Nigeria. My mum is the wife of the eldest son in a huge polygamous home(y’all can imagine the number of siblings), anyway she’s older than alllll of my dad’s siblings considering she’s the same age as my dad. But guess what, she calls all of her sisters-in-law and brothers-in-law by Aunty this or brother that. Even the unmarried ones that she can give birth to o. All this to say poster, your sister in law should be the one having this ‘headache’ not even you.
    I don’t support this nonsense that I see my mum and a lot of other women from my culture doing, but it comes with the package. I understand you want peace to reign, but even in our culture, in-law or not when someone is 2-3 years older than you, na ‘e’ o. You seem like a timid person, I’m not saying look for fight but stand your ground.
    Or better still, address it with her. I would have said to tell your own parents, but that could cause trouble for the young marriage knowing as we carry this kind this for head.
    And by the way, even if your brother is the one feeding you o, still hold your head high and get productive too.
    My dad is the omo ologo of all of them, but that did not translate to my mum now carrying shoulder pad o.

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    Replies
    1. Reading the chronicle, I was so confused because I know it is poster's sister in law who should be calling poster 'aunty', not the other way round.

      Delete
    2. 18:42 your mum allowed that, it's not because it's their culture, she is among those who grew up believing that once you are married into a family, you are automatically loose your self worth and become indebted to the entire family for allowing their brother marry you especially when you don search for husband tire and you manage to see the one that manage to marry you, and you no even fine, you no get any going on well for you, you are totally dependent on your husband, you don't have a family that you can brag about , etc. I bet you, if your mum had things going on well in her life outside her husband, she wouldn't have done all that.

      They subjected a lady that is married to my cousin into frying garri all the time for the family. She does almost all the domestic work in the house. No time to rest. Something that the girls in their family cannot be allowed to do. This is because the lady is from a very humble background compared to the family she married into. No, handiwork, nothing to fall back on if she leaves the marriage. Infact being married into that family is a price to her. So she will do anything to make the family happy with her , yet they don't rappor with her as a sister just because she is not their class.

      Delete
  38. 🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣 Aunty Stella “even me I don’t have respect” don’t mind that Woman keep calling her, her name until she tells u what she has in mind openly or last last she would pass the msg through her husband but if she has a child u can call her with her child’s name 😎
    Anyin

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  39. To think that I hate people calling me aunty or mummy kinikan, I even told my mum when I gave birth to stop calling me by my daughter's name and just keep to my first name as it had been, but she no gree so I have left if.
    My cousins want to start that with me (people I'm like 2-4 years older than using ma for me), I've told them to stop it oh, I'm not that old, e dey vex me. I prefer they call me sis if at all than ma/mummy, Ewoo ni wahala arugbo.

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  40. I thought in Yoruba culture, a woman married into a family is not expected to call even the youngest child of the family by name, but address them as Aunty or Broda? So why is the reverse the case with you sister in-law? or is this sister in-law of yours not Yoruba?
    First, your sister in-law is naturally disrespectful, if not she won't be expecting you an older person to accord her a special privilege, considering that you are older than her.
    Secondly, she may be the team marriage is an achievement people, so she feels her married status has elevated her above you a single lady.
    In all, please bury the idea of spending Xmas with them unless it is an inevitable family reunion which you are under obligation to attend. And if you do, give her space.
    Lastly, give your brother and his wife space,. It's like you are a frequent visitor to their house that is why these insults are coming up.
    Like the book of proverbs says" make your feet scarce in a man's house so that he wouldn't have enough of you)

    ReplyDelete
  41. πŸ˜…πŸ˜…πŸ˜…
    She's expecting you to call her sister or aunty πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜…πŸ˜…
    Lizzy baby

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  42. My people that is how I was talking to my elder brother and asked after his wife by name. He actually asked me if it is his wife that I called like that. Wife that I am older than by about 5 years if not more. From that day, I simply ask him " how is your wife?". I don't have energy for drama, too many things to do.

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  43. Pls call her iyawo and don't use 'o' for her. She is your elder brother's wife. You have to accord her the respect you accord your brother even if you are ten years older than her.
    When she gives birth, call her by her child's name. This is coming from a lady married to a complete Yoruba man. Two of my husband's younger brothers are older than me, they addressed me as iyawo initially and since I gave birth they now call me 'Mummy Oyin'. They also address me using "e" not "o". Yoruba people will understand. For the sake of peace , do the above or sit in your house in December.

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  44. Haaaa this one is beyond name calling abeg,........... Call her first lady she go happy wella, people and choices thou

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  45. U wan go there spend Christmas?… u no serious…. Just go for a day , say hello ; go back ur house….unless I hv accommodation problems; u no go see me for person house for holiday

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  46. If that's what she wanted then give it to her subtly, you can be calling her "our Aunty good morin ooo..our Aunty hav yu eaten" lolz...

    ReplyDelete

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