SERIOUS ADVICE NEEDED
Should I get pregnant for my boyfriend? I'm 34, no child. I just want to have a child with him because he is a responsible man and he will take care of our child financially.
Even if we don't get married at least I will have a child to call my own.
Your Chronicle may be just a few words but it is the reality of what is happening to some people now
Will you discuss having the child with him or accidentally get pregnant? If this is your decision to have a child outta wedlock then please at least let the intended sp#rm donor know and not spring a surprise on him cos it might spoil the relationship between you too and bring out the 'devil' in him...He might even disown and deny the child so make sure you take him along.
Goodluck
He is a responsible man and he will take care of the child financially.. like stella said hope he is aware of your plan cause we dont want to start hearing all men are scum later ooo..any plan you are excuting make sure to include him in the plan
ReplyDeleteFool at 34?
DeleteWritten yourself off market?
Do you really know your God?
Me think you should wait a little longer, 34 isn't that bad nah maybe at 40! Who knows he may pop the question before that time sef!!
DeleteStella's advice is cool too
Hope you yourself,can take care of the child? If yes,then go for it.
DeleteAfter having the baby , hope you won't start hunting for a husband and trying to hide the child? And hope when this guy dumps you for another, you won't turn out a problem to his new relationship. Most times girls ignore the men who are right in their faces for time wasters.
DeleteDo you realise some people try to get pregnant and they are unable to even after doing IVFs , so if pregnancy doesn't come what will be your next line of action, because if you even have one child you will be pressured to make it 2 or 3. M
DeleteBe sure to have enough money to employ a nanny and don't start feeling bad when friends and family start asking for the father of the kid , you go explain tire when your kid start bugging you for his dad na that time life go tire you. It is a difficult journey.
At 34, no marriage or child is not the end of the world. How are you sure, your miracle is not around the corner???
ReplyDeleteI don't know what to say to you. But having a child out of wedlock makes your chances slimmer. It's hard work having a child.
I would say maintain yourself and do good and keeo praying. God will pick up your call when it is time. He is the one that knows your future.
I'm single and 34, and female just like you. I live with my mom and my niece and nephew just came over today and I'm already considering taking them back to where they belong. Now imagine you take in and birth twins outta wedlock and the father decides not to be a part of their lives. Anyway, I will never consider taking this route that you want. Hopefully you'll make the right decision.
DeleteThe selfishness in this world is alarming
ReplyDeleteVery selfish, imagine deliberately denying their kids family life just to satisfy their selfish desires. When they see good men they will keep analyzing his shoes and saliva then come back to complain of being single. Some of these ladies are very terrible people, full of pride and vain etc
DeleteGirl.you are just 34! There's stillllllll hope ..please hold on just a little and go about it how God wants and how it should be ..cheers
ReplyDeleteHave you asked him or yourself if he wants to have a child with you? Inform him of your decision to avoid trapping him with pregnancy.
ReplyDeleteI understand the thirst to have kids at certain age but single parenting is not as easy as people project it on the media, I respect single parents a lot, why not have a talk about marriage with him, you deserve more!
Felicity
Let her continue with her delusion!! The man will shock her. My baby daddy was a very kind and generous man but I saw a viscous side of him when I got pregnant despite being on contraception. Guy man stikl throway me like tissue paper, accused me of trying to set him up and went on to marry a girl from his village. I jejely relocated abroad with my belle and thank God I did... Got my new country citizenship in two years!! Best decision ever!!
DeleteAre you sure you're ready for this journey emotionally ? Single parenthood isn't easy especially if you don't have support systems.
ReplyDeleteDiscuss your plan with him because some men will not acknowledge that child no matter how responsible or financially okay.
You both should be on the same page, he should be willing to coparent and don't have so many expectations of him.
All the best!
34 is not that old, if you stated that you were 44 then maybe I would say yes. Since you have not said much about the relationship it is hard to formulate an answer. If he is a good man and you are a good woman why have you both not discussed the topic of marriage? Is there something that is preventing you from bringing this up? Unless he is already married, I do not see why you cannot discuss your desire for motherhood with him and you both taking that journey together through the normal routes of the culture. And if he is already married you should not be involved with him anyway. Discussing a future together is not the same as you proposing. If he is adamant against getting married, you can end the relationship and try with someone else who is marriage minded. Remember that legal marriage protects a woman and the child if something happens to the husband, from receiving his pension, widow's benefits and the transfer of assets. You should always try to get married first, especially if you are not battling against time to get something out of the last few remaining eggs. Please talk to him and do not go getting pregnant behind his back because of desperation.
ReplyDelete34 is not young either
Delete34 isn't the cut off age for reasonable and logical thinking either. I'm 34 and single, yet I'm thinking of how to steal some man's sperm and get pregnant for him without his knowledge and/or consent. Pffftt!
DeleteWhat if he doesn’t take care of the child financially. Do you have a plan B?
ReplyDeleteZendaya
It is as if this chronicle is talking to me the only difference is that me, I dont have a boyfriend and my doctor is pressuring me to get pregnant.
ReplyDeleteYour case is somehow different, you may have a medical condition.. may God bring Mr Right to you soon, Amen
DeleteHe is responsible but doesn't think you responsible enough to pop the question abi? Some of una brain dey pain una. It is obvious that it is this your mentality that makes him hesitate to wife you up. What kind of garbage reasoning is this? Abeg I'm not in the mood.
ReplyDeleteHe may be married. The shorter the chronicle, the longer the untold story.
Deletena them very selfish senseless.
DeleteA responsible man, who don't want to settle down and raise a family should give you concern.
ReplyDeletePlease have a talk with him about having a child and see his reaction first .
Poster pray and wait for God's plans concerning your life prevail 💋
ReplyDeleteMadam poster,you say how old are you again?34. And a friend of mine got married at the age of 46 and she was not anxious as you are, madam don't tie down a man with pregnancy allow this your ship to sail in peace
ReplyDeleteWhen it is time you will have your own husband and children.
Enjoy your self, don't pressurized your self.
Older women are less anxious like the younger ones
DeleteYou better go to a sperm bank and collect soerm and have a child. Avoid the stress that comes with getting pregnant for a person who does not want a baby
ReplyDeleteWho will provide for the child from the sperm bank.
DeleteUntil we get Children Upkeep Banks, women will continue to use men as both sperm banks and upkeep banks.
Afterall, children belong to their mothers. This chronicle confirms that fact.
I think you should weigh your option very well because, what if he doesn't want to have a child with you, or he doesn't acknowledge the child, or he later marry somebody else, single parenting isn't easy o, but if you know you can cope, no problem.
ReplyDeleteBut why hasn’t he married you? If he’s responsible as you claim, why hasn’t he married you? Or he doesn’t see you as his future Mrs ? If he doesn’t see you as his Mrs , then he definitely doesn’t see as the mother to bear his kids.
ReplyDeleteMaybe the man is a married man and doesn't want polygamy
DeleteDear poster, you're just 34, there's still hope for you. Your miracle might be around the corner be patient with your God and yourself.
ReplyDeletewhy don't you try and talk him. I pray God meet you at the point of your need and grant all your heart desires in Jesus name. Amen
I don't understand this,if he is your boyfriend why no marriage or it is friends with benefits nothing more?anyway discuss this with him otherwise be ready to care for the baby.Mysterious things are happening these days Jesus maranatha
ReplyDeletePoster don't do things in a haste that you might regret later and don't put unnecessary pressure on yourself. Since you said he is responsible, why not talk to him about marriage , it doesn't have to be a big one. Poster, It's not easy to be a single parent o and don't run faster than God's plan for your life, pray as well.
ReplyDeleteI will be 38 by September, no husband, no child.
ReplyDeleteBut I will not be pressured to have kids out of wedlock
I am already 39 years old, no husband and no kids but am waiting on God to get married before having kids.
DeleteFrom your mouth to God's ears. May the ever faithful God grants your heart desires speedily. Amen.
DeleteSome people will never learn.It is obvious the poor guy is not ready to father a child otherwise you would not be seeking for advice.From experience,the guy is kind and takes care of your needs so in your shallow mind,the way to elongate the 'good life' is to introduce a child into the mix.I can bet you the guy will turn monster to you and even towards the innocent child if you carry out your selfish plan.I hope you do not come back here in the not so distance future to share another chronicle about how your baby daddy is a scum.Please know that not everyone wants to be a parent.
ReplyDeleteRaising a child alone is not the problem, do what is Best for your life.
ReplyDeletego ahead if you are sure he is going to accept it. You said he is responsible why can't he wife you so that you both can make babies in the more acceptable way in our society. If you fall pregnant now hope you are emotionally ready for what world people will say.
ReplyDeleteBeing a single mum might not be God's plan for you.pls dear,I beg you.take all your worries and anxieties to God and watch wonders happen.
ReplyDeleteSometimes our wishes and desires might not be God's plan for our lives.You can't afford to make mistakes.
I advise you take some time to fast and pray and seek the face of God concerning this.
Yesterday, it was money. Today, it is a child.
ReplyDeleteAnd some vocal women always present women as the victims or the shortchanged party in romantic relationships. Here is a woman planning to use a man as a victim for the next 21years or even for life.
This is why some women 8 it when a targeted man has a wise female family on call for counsel or just around and caring for the man's welfare.
*female family member
DeleteI understand you want a child so bad before you turn the big 35 but No abeg. Get him to marry you or look for someone who's serious and do it the proper way
ReplyDeleteThis is my situation right now, in my case, the guy is married but we have been together for 7 years. He’s the one begging me for a child now. I am also 34 my Dr has told me to have a child now. I don’t really want to be a second wife but I don’t have many choices now
Delete18:45, wow. You really are in a tight spot. May you find the wisdom you need to make the empowering choice for yourself.
DeleteWhat would be the difference with sleeping with him for seven years versus marrying him as a second wife? It seems like you got caught up in a situation. If his wife endured him having another woman all these years, why you want a man of your own now? Please go marry as a second wife if it won’t bring problems. If he can afford to give you your own house in your name and you live in a separate part of town from his wife, isn’t that better than being a mistress? I don’t even believe in polygamy but you are already with the man as a mistress for almost a decade so what if you marry him as second, you’ve been a second from the start, so just legitimize it and have a child if you want one. Otherwise, break it off and go into the dating market and see how it works out for you.
He should wife you nahh
ReplyDeleteAbi is he not talking about Marriage?
What is the delay?
Abi nah married man?
Please hint him before you do it.
ReplyDeleteMy worry is if you desire to be married you can't tell me that men didn't approach you till you git to this age. There's a problem somewhere. That's what should be fixed
ReplyDeleteDear poster, do you have money of your own?
ReplyDeleteAre you banking on his finances for this plan of yours?
There’s more to having a baby than meet the eyes. You must be ready financially and emotionally for this journey.
Please discuss it with the man involved so you don’t use your own hands to ROCK THE BOAT!
You're making the best decision. Please by all means try to have a child because of our biological clock. You would be glad you did
ReplyDelete