STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
DEPRESSED
I am so afraid of future and old age. I am now 50, no husband ,no child but very comfortable with good job.. No family. I mean no mother, no father, no brother, no sister, no cousin. . The person I lived with as a child adopted me and died and left me feigning for myself from 15. I am well learned. Trained myself in school.
But I am depressed
I have been trying to get a suitable man since but none came my way. Most of the guys came just to chop , promise marriage and leave me disappointed cause of my background. . I went through lots of heartbreak and tears. I tried adoption ,but wasted money.
I have given up on marriage. I am just looking for a grown up and responsible person to mentor so she can bury me when it's time. I have enough to give her including houses.
Marriage is even overrated these days. Just get a child by any means.
I regret not doing that in my fertile years.
my adopted mother was not married too. And died at 76. I single handedly took charge of the burial.
She was buried in her father's compound. The only two people remaining in that compound are old and are liabilities. They can't even fend for themselves .
They used her lifetime to drain me. . After she passed on, I am all alone. I was her only adopted child. We grew old together. I took care of her in her lifetime.
DEPRESSED
I am so afraid of future and old age. I am now 50, no husband ,no child but very comfortable with good job.. No family. I mean no mother, no father, no brother, no sister, no cousin. . The person I lived with as a child adopted me and died and left me feigning for myself from 15. I am well learned. Trained myself in school.
But I am depressed
I have been trying to get a suitable man since but none came my way. Most of the guys came just to chop , promise marriage and leave me disappointed cause of my background. . I went through lots of heartbreak and tears. I tried adoption ,but wasted money.
I have given up on marriage. I am just looking for a grown up and responsible person to mentor so she can bury me when it's time. I have enough to give her including houses.
Marriage is even overrated these days. Just get a child by any means.
I regret not doing that in my fertile years.
my adopted mother was not married too. And died at 76. I single handedly took charge of the burial.
She was buried in her father's compound. The only two people remaining in that compound are old and are liabilities. They can't even fend for themselves .
They used her lifetime to drain me. . After she passed on, I am all alone. I was her only adopted child. We grew old together. I took care of her in her lifetime.
You dropped half of this chronicle on another one, so removed that and use the other one you sent to form this chronicle for you....
I understand that you are depressed and its a pity but you can still live happily...Just adopt someone with kids and you can also adopt the kids as your grand kids....Do your homework very well and dont waste your time being depressed or living in regret.
If you sit there in regret who will inherit your properties? strangers that dont deserve it....... Adopt a family and will your wealth to them or give it to charity.
Please study the blog IDs and choose someone and we will go thru the process together until you find the right one...
I honestly wish you all the best.....
This is quite touching. May the Lord come for you through these times; I am very sure you will receive comfort and miracles. Nothing is impossible even at age 50.
ReplyDeleteIt's well with you poster. May God lead you to the right heir
ReplyDeleteMy mother's friend is without a husband, children and relatives. She said she took care of her nieces and nephews got them all jobs thinking they would be there for here later but when she lost her job they all ignored her. I told my mom we will all take care of her like an adopted sister for our mom and adopted aunt for us. She is a good person and alone.
ReplyDeleteSo Poster, if you have good friends. Treat them like family including their kids and you never can tell what may come out of it.
DeleteThat's how people do. Na who never go no go understand. People will remain loyal to you so long as you still have a steady inflow of cash like you used to have.
DeleteHave your own child by all means and train them well, discipline them when necessary so that you won't end up raising spoilt kids who don't know that there's consequences for bad actions.
One thing with those who adopt is that they make mistakes of not disciplining the child when necessary, not inroducing them to house chores on time, and the child grows feeling like they are too special and you can't do without them. They gaslight you knowing that you can't do anything to them etc
Stella, with some of your blog viewers being "magicians", ready to do anything for awoof money,is it really fair to expose this already desperate poster to them? Just asking?
ReplyDeleteHonestly, the woman gave out too much information. If only she had said she is alone and looking for someone who will bury her when old without mentioning other things then it would have been safer for her.
DeletePoster when you meet someone. Don't act comfortable don't even let them suspect you are looking for someone to mentor or you are lonely without a husband or children. Don't act vulnerable. You can still get married. Be on the look out for a widower with kids. Go to churches and events and be discreet and pray. God will show up for you .
She gave too much info
DeleteKai
You mean you singlehandedly took charge of your late mom's burial at 15?
ReplyDeleteYou have gone through a lot . May God send you a good man and give you lovely children.
Sorry dnt feel desperate....... OK create your love and live the moment.......
ReplyDeleteAbeg you fit adopt grown up man with beard..... ???ah Muah is available ooooo
depressed *
DeleteThis your comment pain me I swear. I can't just explain how I felt reading this. Even my back ached when I read it.
Delete@slim shaddy you miss road?
DeleteMadam,don't pick anyone from.this blog o. They already know your situation, they will pretend for as long as they can to milk you and make you more miserable.
ReplyDeleteGet a surrogate and have babies, you'll see how your whole existence will change once you get a child. You have the means, explore na.
Just 50 and you are giving up? There are people who had babies in their 70s and lived a beautiful life.
Please, consider using a surrogate.
It's well with poster, sending ❤️ and 🫂
ReplyDeleteMay God come through for you.
ReplyDeleteDon’t expect a husband to cure ur loneliness; be active in church& programs… u can adopt a child if u can afford it…
ReplyDeleteIt well with you Poster, Stop being depressed and take charge of your life. I pray you meet good people.
ReplyDeleteIf you want to adopt anyone who has an idea of your life details or has read your story;just be realistic to yourself and understand that majority of humans especially from Nigeria our country would come closer to you simply because of the benefits they would be getting from you;and not because they truly care about you or can give their life for you if it comes to a test of loyalty..
ReplyDeleteHelp if you wish to help and because you love helping the less privileged;that’s what humanity is about;but don’t help if your expectation is that the person/people you are helping today would be there for you in old age as a form of reward or appreciation to you.
Lots of people are only loyal to their emotions,hence don’t understand what gratitude,loyalty or appreciation means towards a benefactor;for them it’s all about what they can get until they have no need for whatever you tend to offer them..
Help,but have no expectation to get same kindness from those you offered a huge generosity/kindness to.
You can adopt a child legally and train them;that’s great and would keep you fulfilled.
You can also find love;it’s never late but you need to put yourself out there for your partner to see you..
Attend events,conference,weddings and all..my friends mum remarried in her 50s;don’t wish to go into much details but they are really in love and enjoying their marriage.
Wish you all the best Ma’am;please use wisdom and beware of emotional and financial scammers at this sensitive stage of your life;don’t be desperate and just flow with life and Gods plan for you.
@MARTINS
E- hug 🫂
ReplyDeleteMa'am I don't know about Nigeria but I know the Catholic Church adopts people like you. Can you enquire from them? They will send you people to pray with you every month and visit you often. They will tend to you when you are sick and bury you when you leave.
ReplyDeleteAnd if her mind gives her for it she can join the sisterhood. Many have no clue how the Catholic Church has things in place for older adults, and they will do the burial and take care of end of life matters. Despite the scandals, the church still has godly ppl and does godly work, especially in the global south.
DeleteYou can adopt a child in the 10 -12 year old range. Just eat well, exercise and take care of yourself, and pray to God for long life. You could even adopt 2, so they have each other as family. You knew love and family through being adopted, so pay it forward to a child or two in the orphanage. Plus, many met their husbands after doing sole parent adoption. It happens.
ReplyDeleteIf you are physically incapable of adopting at this stage of life, you could become a patron of an orphanage, especially a religious based one, whether Catholic or secular. You can enter into an agreement with them and upon your death they will give you a decent funeral with people in attendance and remember you. You can adopt and be a patron, so you do both at the same time.
You have options and it is not all depressing. Join social groups, community groups and causes. Join a good church or religious community if you’re not a Christian. In everything that you have written, I wonder why you have no friends or social network. Why does your life feel so isolated and lonesome. You can still have a social network at your age. There are many widowed and divorced women, some who lost their children, and many who did not have children or marry, just like you. You could even start a group or NGO that provides connections and support for middle aged and older women with no or limited connections - this could be the legacy that you leave in this world.
My fear is that many people are not appreciative. You can take care of someone else's child today now and the moment you have a little misunderstanding they forget all the good things you've been doing for them over the years. They'll just divert all their attention to their own family and fling you at a corner.
ReplyDeleteAdopting your own child is preferably to me. At least if you train them in the appropriate way that you want them to go, they'll never abandon you
Madam if you are very comfortable go and get a surrogate with donated sperm. Why stress your self
ReplyDeletePoster, I pray you get the companionship and joy you desire.
ReplyDeleteI heard of a matured lady that married a widower whose grown up kids are all abroad. I believe they are both keeping each other company and happy together.
The woman even gets to go for omugwo abroad sometimes to take care of her step-children and step-grandchildren.
She's Lucky, not all step grandchildren takes care of their step mum who has no child for their dad . If I tell you what happened this January eh, I felt like giving those people heavy knock on the head one by one. Step mum who had no child for their dad has been suffering for years... If you see the condition of the woman . They didn't even keep her in their dad's house after their dad's death. She's living alone and nobody cares to go visit her or send her a maid. Is it because she's not financially stable? Because I believe if she was financially stable they would have identified with her until they drain all she has left.
DeleteI think u can adopt a child, maybe from 6 and above.
ReplyDeleteAt 50,is not yet over. U gat many yrs ahead
Adopt or get a surrogate. Also, focus on mentoring young people. You can still try IVF
ReplyDeletePoster @50 your life is not over yet.
ReplyDeleteThank God you are financially stable. You can travel the world, try out new things, make new friends along the way.
Relocate to a new town if your job allows it. You might even find love while at it. Try out new things. Just learn to have fun pls
Even if she travels all around the world,her mind is not settled. She is worried.
DeleteMy dad is a widower, don't know if ull be interested in him...he lives alone I and my sis take turns in visiting him...he's based in Lagos.
ReplyDeleteNice one
DeleteNo be only your dad. You sef want inheritance. Ole. If na corn or akara seller you for remember your widower dad? My ftiend, move along.
DeleteOya what are you waiting for send your Dad’s details ASAP to Stella to do the connection! We don’t know what God can do!
DeleteFind child if you want
ReplyDeleteBut don’t mess with your retirement plan
Keep money
It’s money that buries people well
With money for burial, you wil always see who will bury u well
No Stella I don’t agree with you on this! I think your long stay abroad has westernized your way of thinking! Madam DO NOT take Stella’s advice! It’s still not too late for you to try IVF ! Do not give your sweat to outsiders! Try IVF or surrogacy or if unsuccessful try adoption again! Get someone you can have a Mother- Child connection with! God will make a way for you! Don’t be depressed! Do you know you can still get married??? God can still do it for you!
ReplyDeleteMa'am, may God be your comforter. You've been through a lot. I think I like Stella's suggestion that is, if you've searched thoroughly and believe the person to be good and also, pray about it. 🤗
ReplyDeleteGOD bless your kind heart aunty Stella. I pray she finds the right person. A lot of people are users these days
ReplyDeleteExactly what I was saying! Most if not all Nigerians are users! I repeat DO NO give your sweat to outsiders! They might even kill you prematurely to get access to your wealth quickly!
ReplyDeleteOle BVs. See how all of una de sound like better people. Vultures. Madam abeg will your properties to orphanages biko.
ReplyDeleteposter you're still young, women are still marrying and having children in their 50s, have a positive attitude. I know someone who married in her 50s and had triplets at 59 via ivf. she is a very prayerful and positive woman .
ReplyDeletei know you've been through alot, but be encouraged that God has a future and hope for you. the bible says he places the lonely in families - psalm 68:6, please hold onto that as a promise of God to you, keep repeating it, that you will have a family of your own and come back and share your testimony. Blessings
I posted the last time. I can't imagine how alone in the world you must feel.
ReplyDelete1) It's not too late for you to get married. People get married in their fifties. Join a dating app, travel the world (even if it's just African countries). He might not be around you.
2) Have you tried surrogacy? There are fertility clinics that handle the process for you. You never get to meet the surrogate sed. Someone I know has had two kids, a bit and a girl via surrogacy.
2( Take care of yourself and have fun, join a ftn
I dropped a comment the last time.
ReplyDelete1) It's not too late for you to get married. People get married in their fifties. Ever left your comfort zone before? You could join a dating app, or travel the world (even if it's just Ghana or Benin Republic). He might not be around you.
2) Ever thought about surrogacy? There are fertility clinics that arrange such, you never have to meet your surrogate or have any drama. Someone I know has had a boy and a girl via surrogacy.
3) Live life! Join a gym, a reading club, something. Just enjoy life.
Also take care of you by working out, eating right, changing up your wardrobe for you and all that. Live! 50 is the new 30
Look at JLo, Kate Henshaw etc.
4) Are you Christian? Join a bible believing church or attend one online. Work on your relationship with God. How can you be alone when you have God waiting for you to come in so He can grant your heart desires?
5) Take fear and desperation out the door else you'd fall prey to many charlatans. Don't settle for less than you deserve.
Don't give up yet is all I'm tryna say.
If you need a sister or ever feel like talking, please reach out nicolendu@aol.com
I'm not interested in your mentorship or money. Genuine human connections that aren't selfish and people out to use one is scarce these days.
I'm in my thirties and unmarried but I know God's on it.
Ma'am please try IVF or surrogate. A relative had her twins a girl and a boy via IVF at 53.. another relative had her twins a girl and a boy via surrogate at 50.. it's well with you.
ReplyDeleteI am 56. Just like you, I am well read. I have no husband. I had my child at 52. Via IVF. Dr Ayo - Bridge. Today my son is 4 years old. What a joy! Totally changed my life around. Just Do It! No regrets! Gave me a renewal to life.
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