This is a typical example of why you should never allow anyone talk you into a once chance thingy!...To say i am shocked is an understatement!
I met this young man in April 2013,I am 25 years and he is same age as well. 6 months after, he proposed to me, and I accepted. A few weeks after I went to Ikoyi registry with him and I signed the dotted lines and legally became his wife.
All this was done without the knowledge of our family both mine and his. He promised that after the registry, all necessary steps would be taken, our traditional marriage will come after and he would inform his family about our court marriage.
Now none of these has been done. He hasn't told any of his family and I haven't had nerves to tell mine. It would make things easier if he tells his family members,then I would be able to tell mine.
This is 5 months after our wedding and I'm beginning to get restless. He is beginning to act funny. I call him and he doesn't pick up. He picks up, it's an excuse of I'm in a meeting. Please what do I do? Hope say I never enter one chance ?
*WTF?what have you done?..please get your family together and confess what you have done before this comes to haunt you later..he prolly needed a marriage certificate for something and used you...just my two cents.
Marriage is not a joke but looks like you just gambled dangerously!
Marriage, marriage, marriage, ish. Wat can I say? Or think? Confusion everywhere regards 'MARRIAGE' ** heavy sigh**
ReplyDelete@ poster, u still dey ask if u don enter "One chance" nne na u be d driver sef...
DeleteI just tire ooo
DeleteHuh very simple...'akudaya tinz'. RME
DeleteAh Ah... Na this twenty something people worry pass these days oo. Wht is the rush? Na wa oo. How can a guy convince you to have a secrete wedding with him. That dosent show love at all, its fishy. A guy tht loves you wld want to marry you infront of the world.Having said that, my dear I think you've been scammed.This one don pass matters of the heart.You need to talk to your family fast......Mrs D
DeleteHonestly, ladies like these need a manual reset! You married him without anyone's knowledge and now, you want everyone's help. Smh
ReplyDeleteManual reset.....lol, I like that. Dear poster, it sounds like you have entered one chance and I think you already know it. I'm not going to waste time blaming you cos wats done is done. I think wat you should be worried about is how to get yourself out of that shoddy marriage. Speak to a lawyer, you may have grounds for annulment instead of divorce. People really need to look before leaping.
DeleteClick my name for a checklist before you say 'I do'
Poster were you jazzed or what?
ReplyDeleteHian!
Sorry dear, is either he is married to some else somewhere or he polly isn't human, I don't know if u heard of such reincarnations, u need to do a background check as quickly as possible. Is awkward! How can the both of get married without any family member? Check well, u might be married to a ghost.
ReplyDeleteObviously,u don enter one chance and blaming urself n being bitter won't change a thing but since u haven't gotten preggie for him yet,nuffin has really spoilt. Stop stressing,u ain't married yet,if he gave u a ring,just dump it @d bottom of ur box,my dear u are still open to dating,meet new guys n be happy. Don't let some fool that doesn't know what he wants bother u for now.If he comes back,fine if he doesn't move on and wait for when d time is right to file for divorce n get him to pay tru his nose if he got some "lil change" to do away with. Stop appearing desperate,let him be.
ReplyDeleteSay what?! She ain't married yet? On d contrary, she is and shouldn't start dating until she's gotten an annulment which would be easy if they haven't consummated d marriage.
DeleteIf they have, it's going to be a long road for her as there are no valid grounds for divorce.
Poster, pls tell your parents. They'll probably chew u and spit u out... when the dust settles, they'll work out something with your hubby's folks.
All the best.
SHOCKED!Are you Nigerians? Do you stay in Nigeria?what kind of marriage is this?you still sound single though, get your parents ASAP and confess,the guy is 25;i hope he's ready and matured for marriage?just get your family together and let the hearing begin.
ReplyDeleteKai, why please? Ladies, a word, lets stop selling ourselves cheap.
ReplyDeleteMen can onlygive you the value you give to yourself. How in Gods name does someone convince you to marry secretly? Now you will be a legal divorcee without ever being married.
Just go and sort this out legally else it hunts you
Wat planet r u frm? I cnt even date a guy without knowing his family member! Serves u right, is dat luv? Eyah na it b ur name
ReplyDeleteSorry to divert from the topic at hand blog visitors, I have a huge problem, I honestly think something is wrong with me. I have never exprienced true love, like someone loving me whole heartedly. its just so painful coz when someone is asking me out they are all lovey dovey buh the moment I start getting interested everything will suddenly change. (not blowing my own trumpet) I know am a very nice person, pretty n I love with my whole heart but all I get in return is disappointment, pain, and betrayal. It as if I am not meant to be loved or maybe God just doesn't like me......am becoming so Depressed, pls what do I do?
ReplyDeleteStella pls post this.
Babes, its happenin 2 mi too , misef don tired.but I kip praying 2 God,he will do it
DeletePls don't say God doesn't like u,inshut he loves u. The fact that u are alive to c dis day is just by his grace. Just put it in prayer and fast,God will surprise u. Ps 35,109,121 and 150
DeleteEverybody deserves to be loved dear. The problem maybe how and where you are looking for love. Click my name for some steps that may guide you to finding true love.
DeleteMy dear look no further. Start with loving yourself FIRST, then every other thing will follow. Playing hard to get isn't the criteria to finding love or a lasting relationship. But rather, what will attract and endear the right person to u is when they find that u do not joke with yourself. Be a no nonsense principled person and let this be made clear on first contact with any man who wishes to woo u. However I must say that there's nothing wrong with u, u have just been surrounding yourself with time wasters. Perhaps u should remove yourself from within their surroundings, change ur circle of friends...and you'll be sure to find ur match soonest. Above all seek God for guidance. Godspeed.
DeleteAm sorry abt the way u feel, but this isn't the time for sympathy or tears and self pity. I am most definitely sure that thers nothing wrong with you I wrote this in the last toke vlog that Stella posted, in this regard, the context might waver but am sure u can pick a lesson or two therein .
DeleteSweet heart, hold your ears and open your eyes as u read this....you need to work on your self esteem... The truth is wen u come off as weak, men wud trample on you... Trust me darl. most men know a very weak predictable and feeble girl wen they see one, and most ladies that have once sufferred abuse were once weak and the men saw through them, its easy, they bark at you 2,3,4 times and ure numb like a lost puppy, You don't state your indifference firmly, you don't look him in the eye and say '' dude stop it, I didn't sign up for that, you are at his beck and call " u come across as needy, always looking for gratification and validation, showing them how desperately u want to be loved. See darling no matter how beautiful you are, if u repeat this same circle, it'll play out almost the same way ... Work on yourself hun, love yourself...some even come as consolers to ''righten'' the wrongs of the previous guy u complained about...and before u know it, ure looking at the same vicious circle cos some insecured bastard that has perceived u as weak, has finally found' something' he can control in life. Why do u think these men don't hit strong women ...cos they know this chicks wud have non of that, they know their babes don't need to hear '' I love you'' 10 times in a day or call them 100 times to walk tall ,they know their onions and they don't call it garlic ..and if u mistake their onions for garlic they put u straight nicely and tell you which is what.. am not saying become rude and throw temper tantrums randomly...am just begging you to love yourself ,pamper yourself ...treat yourself to the best sort of luxury u can afford, so wen they come to break you... U give them the ''don't even dare look'' ...truth is wen these bastards see how strong you are, and if uve mastered the act, u can blend your ''strong'' with a lot of sweetness...take it from me, that guy that wanted to ''Armstrong'' u won't even know wen he starts to eat from your palms and metaphorically drink your bath water cos he'll marvel at your strength and now turn to you for that gratification that he was too manipulative to ask for, he'll want to please his new found queen that can ''tiger him'' and still ''baby him'' like no man's business...but babe to get to this level u need to come correct, u gotta have a great sense of self, ur self esteem should be unscathed and undaunted .. love thyself
Typical example of Las vegas love.
ReplyDeleteMy own love no blind at all at all
My love open eye wella
My love dey use recommend glashes #InIgboticTong d one wey thick pass bottom of coke bottle.
My love com knack beta eye drop join.
Over medicated love na him dey worry me!
@ poster
My dear, I wld av love to consult 'AJILEKEGE' d yorubawood diety for u.
But am too busy wit buks!
I only pop in ere wen am bored. #YourLoss!
I need Provision and food stuff
ReplyDeleteI must nt go hungry ooo
Who dey Enugu?
@Galore
Ran from that town with the speed of life. Dead arsed village. Independence layout my flat black behind. Only fun was at orange room...
DeleteMarketer u don dey market urself, go and read your books runs no dey pay.
DeleteWe know that format
Deletelol....shine ya eyes bebe (in my ibo voice).....well we have all done foolish things before.....tell your family members......if he keeps misbehaving quietly go file for a divorce before audience go know say u don marry...dont dull yourself with any love bullshit so be very vigilant before you go and pay bride price and take him before God
ReplyDeleteeeh eeh...back to d matter
ReplyDelete@Madam @RUth abor korr kuu(Ruth i must die wt my husband).....U don seriously enter ONE CHANCE
@Galore
Poster,you said. he is behaving funny recently.....hmmmm....na one chance you dey so ooohh....how can you even marry without the blessing of both parents??...na wah oo....sit him down and talk things over with him....maybe he dosent have money for the traditional marriage and stuffs...
ReplyDeleteYou are stupidity personified! What are you so desperate about?
ReplyDeleteObviously he had some ulterior motives for rushing you to the registry, which you are unaware of. What is your own motive in getting married without telling family or friends? Are you so gullible? Is that how you plan to go through life, fitting into other people's well laid out plans?
It's not too late for you to change your ways. First things first, undo the mess you've gotten yourself into.
Is this an era of increased STUPIDITY or what??Please,let no one tell me she was blinded by love...with so many dreadful stories we hear,love should be made to wear contact lenses to see clearly,not forgetting God's help though! @Poster,I practically forced myself to continue your story after the 'all this was done WITHOUT the knowledge of our family,both his and mine' line...Who does that??? @25YEARS,were you that desperate to get married or what?because there is no mention of you being pregnant presently...Anyways,too bad na HALF-CHANCE u don enter,ya 'horseband' clearly needed the certificate for something...brace yourself for what's coming ahead,in the meantime,summon courage to let your family know,you would need all the support you can get when he eventually pulls his stunt! Best wishes.
ReplyDeleteIf U have the marriage certificate with U,go for an annulment with immediate effect and U can claim d@ he fraudulently dragged U into the marriage. But U acted foolishly,Marriage is too serious a matter to hide from Ur family. Of all the things to consider keeping as a secret,it must neva be Marriage. All the best tho and make sure U do not agree to a divorce but an annulment.
ReplyDeleteThe deed is done already, what you need now is damage control. Let the cat outta the damn bag and let both families know what's going on. what if there's sth more evil that he's hiding from you, apart from there's a possibility he might be two-timing on you...
ReplyDeleteYou've got to act fast, this is not hollywood movies where one gets married secretly and have happpily ever after.
Na that rain wey you call so, na im dey fall now, why asking for an umbrella? You were bold enough to get into something as important as marriage without informing your parents, you should be bold enough to tell them after.
ReplyDeleteMy dear this is Africa, we just don't marry our husbands or wives. We marry thier families too. Oya! Run go tell your mama.
The guy just used you. Tell your family,get a lawyer n if worst comes to worst: Annul the marriage. I think he needed that certificate for something.
ReplyDeleteAm sure it was a case of I can't sleep with you until am married to you and since the guy needs the sex,he gave you what you wanted so you can give him what he wanted.....I sincerely pray he is serious with you,if not,na really one chance you enter so
ReplyDeleteThis one nawa o. Did you guys marry in vegas while high on drugs? More so, what do u mean 'u call him and he's not picking up'? So u married some1 & you're not living together after the so called wedding? Sorry I seem to have only questions for you. You've definitely entered one chance, but y d guy would want to marry you codedly beats me. Maybe like Stella said, he needed a marriage cert for something.
ReplyDeleteBest of luck in this and please ensure u level up with ur family.
Click my name for all your celebration cakes n cupcakes, Cheers
This is some crazy shit... y would u go to a registry without meeting his patents or taking him to meet urs? babe u af enter one crazy chance
ReplyDeleteYu are a fool
ReplyDeleteBut y naaa...lik stella said, pls let ur family knw already. God help we ladies o with d decisions taken when high in love
ReplyDeleteHow can you marry Within six months when you have not met his family. You did not even think to do introduction?
ReplyDeleteWhat was the rush for? I take it you are not living together since you say he is avoiding your calls?
You better go and annul the marriage before it's too late. Then tell him you can remarry him if you are still single by the time he is ready
(I no wan abuse you at all ooo because forks do lots of stupid things once they hear 'marriage')
Abeg comot for here jor! No be sey dem jazz u enter registry. Desperation to get married at its peak, kai! You no ask anybody you go sign paper, now you come de disturb our eyes dis morning with this. No be only one chance, na two chance sef. Nonsense!
ReplyDeleteSee gobe
ReplyDeleteOmo see GOBE!!!
ReplyDeleteMOA
Its not difficult naa, just tell your family first.
ReplyDeletePlease i hope you are not living with him sha, cos he is yet to pay your bride price o
Hah! What kind of story is this? Why would you go to registry without families.. Its not as if age is on your side so what prompted you to do so? Mehn,gals need to buckle up please and stop making men take them for a ride...
ReplyDeleteall this stories is getting boring already..
Na zero chance u enter
ReplyDeleteSome travelling stuff
ReplyDeleteHe just used you to get a marriage certificate 2 process his travelling.
Kai! Kai! This one pass one chance oh! This is kidnapping! My dear, run to your family & tell them.There's a huge fire on the mountain.
ReplyDeleteAt 25 u cld b ds stupid.did he use any jazz on u or u actually went wt ur 2 eyes open to d registry .some girls dnt seize to amaze me.wat r u askin us to do for u now.as mrs korkus said beta tel ur parent now cos d guy has used ur head big tym.
ReplyDeleteYoung Forever
@ poster u b idiot. Go ask ur stupid ...dat quex. Rubbish no b only one chance u enta. Mtcheew
ReplyDeletePoster you are a Mumu with capital M. It's girls like you that makes guys tag other girls as having fish brain.
ReplyDeleteCeeCee
My darling, how stupid can you possibly be at 25yrs old? Lord have mercy on some people. Sometimes I'm tempted to say some people deserve whatever they get, but I try not to judge. In this case I'm sorry, I just have to judge. The only word I can use to describe you is stupid. Good luck with your marriage. LMFAO.
ReplyDeleteFoolish girl!
ReplyDelete@poster...u should be in the guinness book of world records as d dumbest lady alive
ReplyDeleteChoi! U better inform ur people!!! 5months and u allow urself to be a secret.
ReplyDeleteThis sounds like a joke or a movie or something?or could it be youthful exuberance?how can one marry like that,...oh I see dat marriage is just a lil joke to pple now dats why they walk in and out of it with laxity!infact I am still lol at dis ridiculous story!damn it!
ReplyDeleteFOOLISH GIRL!!!!!
ReplyDeleteWTF?? in dis 21st century??? u be typical ewu!!! We r truly in d era of a
ReplyDeletesmart phones and dumb people..
WTF?? in dis 21st century??? u be typical ewu!!! We r truly in d era of
ReplyDeletesmart phones and dumb people..
Pls Anty Stella wot dd u say is d name of ds movie again?
ReplyDeletePoster needs to be flogged!
ReplyDeleteAs in the foolishness inside of you needs to be flogged out!
BLOG ANALYSER: This one na Mugu 111? Chai! Weren't u thinking? I assumed I was in love with an Ex, he demanded and pleaded for this type of thing bt I refused. My sister, ur head suppose dey there nah. Go nd seek for annulment biko nd be free. U still have time ahead of u to meet d right one.
ReplyDeleteSorry u. Are a big fool with a capital F. How could you. Have u thought about this that maybe u even married a ghost.why are women desperate, just at 25 yrs,u ruinned ur life like this. My dear better run to ur parents and confess what u have done.
ReplyDeleteAnon 1:14pm....my exact thoughts...
DeleteAre people still this stupid?
ReplyDeleteYou've not said wot made you rush into DAT contract you call marriage
Seriously my eyes open pass the cat own sef. You got married just like that without telling anyone in your family. I believe the marriage can be annulled. It's better you end it now that is still morning. Talk to your mum and possibly a lawyer
ReplyDeletePlease pack your things quietly back to your father's house. You have not been respectful or sincere to your parents and the man took advantage of a woman in a desperate situation.
ReplyDeleteWhat if he kills you and uses you for ritual? Does your family know where you are right now? Don't be naive! This is Nigeria 2014. Things are happening, strange things.
Most likely you are now his second wife or worse, otherwise it don't understand why he rushed the relationship and is still being secretive.
Just leave him and if he is sincere he will approach you the right way and pay your family the proper respect that they deserve.
Stella said it all!
ReplyDeleteHmmm...Na one chance be dat oo
ReplyDeleteNa rily one chance oo!u Berra go confess to ur family nw cos in d end, its only family dat matters
ReplyDeleteStella post comments now
ReplyDeleteThis lady has been used. I know of a guy who wanted my friend to do this sort of thing. Funny he is even a christian but needed the marriage cert as his church wanted to send him to abroad for a mission work. He wanted to get out of naija from dia and waka without ma friend. i told ma friend never to allow this, He wants marriage he should do it the proper way. Ladies dey try ooooo. Me I get bobo wey dey US and has been asking me to join him ever since I got Visa, I refused jejely, If he wants me he needs to come home and get married as It should be. I did rather stay single than get myself involved in what I may not be able to handle.
ReplyDeleteThis story just leaves me dumb-founded! How naive can people be? You met someone, he proposed after 6 months, you jumped on the proposal and went with him to the registry without involving any of your family from both sides and now you're asking for advice?
ReplyDeleteDid he jazz you or what, and your eyes are now clear? I really don't know what to make of this. Were you that desperate to marry? Egwu di!!!
There's something fishy about the guy cos that's not normal behaviour - wish I knew what It was. You have to tell your parents now
ReplyDeleteChai! I cnt believe ur dis dumb @ 25! marrying a boy/man without the knowledge of family/friend! Who does that?*rme*. Like stella sed he prolly needed d cert for somtin which u freely gave him. I have a frnd who askd me to hlp hook him up wi any girl dats interested in a contract marriage. Reason is dat dr r some huge contracts hiz bin chasin @ chevron for quite sometime now & dat cnt be awarded to him cos hiz a single guy. They tld him to go &marry bcos they dnt trust single guys. Imagine?lolz.&he is nt ready for any form of commitment. So he needs an arrangee wife asap! Av hrd dis things b4 bur dint believe until dis frnd spoke to me about it. Na wa oh..Things ppl do for riches. Poster jes open up to ur parents/family. They'll sure knw wot to do. There's notin to hide in dis mata.
ReplyDeleteAbeg anybody looking for a woman for contract marriage can mail me but of course u know u ll pay for it and I mean good money.adiahamma01@yahoo.com
ReplyDeleteI'm lost oo. Are we suppose to advise or cuss?
ReplyDeleteMadam laminate the marriage certificate na and take it to the bank for safe keeping as per life achievement.
The truth; it will never get better. It seems as if u̶̲̥̅̊ said my own story. Get out fast but tru legal means. Quickly seek for annulment thru a lawyer on ur own. Cos he will never pay. Then pray for God to lead u̶̲̥̅̊ to d right man, he will always come. Mine came, I'm now legally married with parents knowledge. All d best.
ReplyDeleteHian,some men are d devil personified, height of wickedness and deceit,no matter how good or pure ur love is don't ever assume d oda person wud reciprocate on ur terms,beta inform ur parents and forget d fool.
ReplyDeleteDesperate people learning the hard way.
ReplyDeleteWish you luck.
Poster!! I'm sorry u don enter one chance ooo... Ialmost fall 4 dis oo,me sef 4 don go court dis month. Tanks 2 d guy's frnd that told me all his plans. Pls pray & tell ur parents plss.
ReplyDeleteMarriage! Marriage! Marriage.......*sips kunu*
ReplyDeleteFrankaakano.blogspot.com
Wot!so y didn't u seek 4 advice den on wot 2 du,lyk if its ryt or not just lyk u seekin 4 now?well d deed has alredy been done,gt a lawyer nd anull it asap,also mak sure u go 4 delivranc in a prayerful church lyk mfm after d anulmnt,vry important bcos u dnt even knw d guy vry well,after d delivranc den u gud2go
ReplyDeleteSad tho but I had to give the Poster an ideal name: 25yrs A Fool, 25yrs an Idiot, 25yrs a Moron. *Chika*
ReplyDeleteThis matter is as simple as ABC. If he married u without anyone knowing simply annull the marriage without anyone knowing. No be Naija we dey again?
ReplyDeleteBut I sense you really need this man and the issue is beyond the fact that no one knows abt the marriage. U need a man I understand but not this kind of a man.
See eh even if both families know about the marriage and all Naija attended the wedding, same 4 still happen. Y? bc u got urself a fake. Whether u entered one chance? Pls don't ask dis stupid question again bc u sure know the answer. Even if this character called the whole world when he married u, u still dey "One chance".lol
Poster....are you acting out a script?? there's nothing somebody wont read on dis blog sef.....u got married without d blessing if your parents???nd not even a friend followed you to registry???at 25....u are still dis shallow with all the stories u have read on dis blog and seen urself.......ur foolishness is raised to so many powers........what step will u take than to inform ur parents first??? O ti pa aro gidigba....o di dandan ko gbe ka iya e mole oo.....i hope u also know that d guy used u to achieve somethings....abi is he an akudaaya???.....poster...pele ti e ooo
ReplyDeletePoster....are you acting out a script?? there's nothing somebody wont read on dis blog sef.....u got married without d blessing if your parents???nd not even a friend followed you to registry???at 25....u are still dis shallow with all the stories u have read on dis blog and seen urself.......ur foolishness is raised to so many powers........what step will u take than to inform ur parents first??? O ti pa aro gidigba....o di dandan ko gbe ka iya e mole oo.....i hope u also know that d guy used u to achieve somethings....abi is he an akudaaya???.....poster...pele ti e ooo
ReplyDeleteThank you Stella. Answering some of the questions, Yes some of my friends are aware of the marriage and I still live in my parents house. It's a difficult situation as how do I go back to my friends that I have mockingly posed for that I am now a Mrs to tell them that I'm no more? How do I see life after this horrible incident? I'm beginning to regret my foolish actions. My family will disown me! I am dead! With which mouth will I say it. I forgot to mention that the guy isn't a poor and has a good job in Nigeria. How will my life be that the past won't haunt me to grave? Smh for myself. I constantly refreshed the comments. I thot solutions will be proffered, only for me to find out most of the commenters chastised and judged me. All they have said is easier than done! He who wears the shoes knows where it hurts. Thank you all, I pray that may you never find yourself in my position.
ReplyDeletePoster,,,what has happened has happened.....u have made the mistake already,,,its of no use wallowing in self pity.....dis is not the time to think of how ur friends will mock you when they hear ur story....u should have one of ur friends that u can confide in.....pls do just that,,u dont need to tell all of dem or else the news go reach where u no think.....and tell ur parents all dat happened,,,,if u cant face ur dad yet....speak to ur mother....ur mother is ur mother...she wont deny u now though she will definitely get very angry with you......once your mother is aware....the solution is already at hand....she will use her maturity to handle dis situation better......errrmmm,,,u still didnt tell us if u made attempts to go to the guy's house and not just calling him on fone...abi u dont know his house ni???....the marriage certificate should be with you(i know they give it to the woman at the registry)....with that u and ur mum can confront his parents and let them know all that happened....its better now that family members,,neighbors etc are not aware of dis,,,cos that is when everyone would have tagged u a divorcee....u should be able to act now and lets know how far u go.....
ReplyDelete(b) This same thing happen with someone I know. I suspect the guy wanted to marry a 'well established" lady sha.They have been married for years and he is still not divorced yet he still makes promises to girls who have similar profiles: well to do hard working babes. Them don beg am (guy)tire e no gree.
ReplyDelete