Sometimes you compound the problem when your reaction is overboard...learn to be calm and ask God for Solomon's wisdom if you must poke your nose!
NARRATIVE NUMERO UNO
SNOOPING AND THE CONSEQUENCES.
Hi Stella,
please bv's I need,i advise dont know wot to do,I live in lagos,I got married march this year,since then DH and I have been trying for a baby,fast forward to last month Nov ending,I bumped into a conversation between him and his friend on bbm,what I saw left me dumbfounded.
His friend was telling him how he had arranged a girl for him,he wanted DH and him to meet at a friends place so he can introduce the babe to him,this friend is known for his sex escapades with different women and he's married.
I've always complained about this particular friend but DH has refused to see that he's a bad influence as his friend.To cut the story short,I confronted DH about the conversation and he denied point blank,the next thing he did shocked me,DH changed his password on his phone.
I was so mad I had to send insultive text mess to his friend telling him everything I know so he shouldn't pretend to be nice wen he sees me becos at my back he's arranging girls for my hubby!
The guy had to forward my messages to DH and we had a big fight,please I want to know where I'm wrong!
I am totally against snooping on anyones phone and I always say it here.Snooping is so wrong abeg!
If you snoop you open a can of worms that might break your marriage or relationship.
To those who snoop,i have one question...Can you come to equity with clean hands?100% clean hands?
It is bad enough that you snooped,why did you have to send messages to his friend?Deal with your ish at home and dont go insulting people ,your hubby is the one that is weak.
Sending that text to his friend is all shades of wrong!
I know #Teamsnoop will fry my yansh for saying snooping is wrong but some of you are still dealing with stuff unearthed from snooping!
You just got married in march and you are already having trust issues with your husband that is leading to a fight?? Ma'am it's too early for these oo. Na waa oo
ReplyDeleteNo advice but u must comment.
DeleteStella allow us to snop abeg. Better than leaving in deceit. And yea we can come to equity with perfect clean hands.
DeleteThere is nothing wrong with snopping
DeleteMe I can snop for Africa.
Whenever my hubby is around me or at home am always with his phone.
Infact it's his phone am using to type this lol.
I can tell u his last conversation on WhatsApp and with who, his not on BBM or Facebook shaa.
But whenever you snoop be ready to face the consequences.
You made a very big mistake by texting his friend, that's very very wrong and disrespectful.
Ask your hubby for forgiveness, you just saw a chat and this is your reaction , what if u saw something more serious?
Seems you can nag, just saying .....
Apologies biko
Hmm, my Uni lecturer just died from complications from HIV / AIDS. The husband died before her (she got it from hubby). I just kept wondering if she had snooped, maybe she'll be alive now??? Well, only God knows. Snooping by wife breaking marriages, somehow what the man did to warrant the snooping in the first place is no longer an issue! Well going thru my own husband's phone averted a very terrible calamity for me. Them don sell me finish and I dey there dey do loyal wife! God dey....
DeleteStella what are saying about snooping sef? Are they not husband and wife? Aren't they supposed to be one. Why is the hubby locking his phone in the first place.
DeletePoster your mistake here is not taking it maturedly. You shouldn't have confronted him immediately. You should have followed up with their plans, on their planned day of meeting, you show up too. Your confrontation can start from there.
You shouldn't have sent his friend a text either, not wise.
Snooping is very goooooood! But
If you must snoop, make up your mind to take anything you see lightly at least for some time.
Either of these two things will take place.
1. You save yourself some stories that touch by preparing yourself for the worst, and by trading carefully in terms of health. Thereby becoming stronger. Even if he make it open (flaunting) later, it wouldn't mean much to you. Cos by then, your shock 'absolver' must have been in place.
Or
You become sad, empty and defeated. Because you want to please him at all costs, thereby channelling all your effort to pleasing him and denying yourself happiness and self confidence.
Team snooping.
Anytime I read married women's wahala I feel like not getting married. I tot I would b married 3yrs ago but I am glad I did not.
DeleteIt's never too early for trouble
DeleteSorry but sending to his friend was tres bad
DeleteIf this story was reversed,everyone wld still blame the woman. Why are women always used as the morality mule?
DeleteIt's funny how the "other woman" happens to be the hubby's friend.
Everyone says "don't snoop",yet when shit hits the fan,they ask u why u didn't read the signs.
Men,respect ur wives and the vows u both made before God!
Dear poster, since you are not strong hearted PLZ stop snooping it will only compound your anxiety. Next time don't confront you DH mistresses or friends who do arrangee for him, he is not a babyan abi dem dey force him pipe put for the oil well? Mind your biznex and talk to God abt it as only God can change a perSon, you can't change no matter the fight, instead he will learn new tricks and become world champion in womanizing and pretending
DeletePrincess Genny
The thing about snooping is that you'll ALWAYS find something but not snooping leaves you in the dark with doubts about your spouse. My advice is......try talking with your husband about it, although i don't know how that'll work seeing that you insulted the friend and he might be on the defensive. Apply wisdom darling.....pray God saves your marriage and give you the fruit of the womb.....
DeleteHmmmm what marriage hs turnd to. There is absolutely nothing wrong with snooping if truly u both r actually "One". well, it still all comes back to the foundation like I always say. Those wives that have access to all der hubby's passwords bank, social ntwks name it, have no two heads. Poster next time ur moves should b sort of slow, u reacted too quickly. Goodluck in ur marriage.
DeleteAnon 3:47 1000 likes. I like strong women.
DeleteWhatever you find after snooping, carry am for your head....Make una no dey come here come waste time biko! If you cannot handle what you find (YOU MUST FIND), do not snoop! save yourself the heartache, the shock, the sadness. it will mess with your head big time. Remember most guys do this for eachother, a very high percentage of them give eachother bars, so the sooner some ladies accept this, the better for you. I know in laws who mess around....One is married to the other one's sis, but they do unspeakable things with other women. ..talk more of friends. ..just friends. .. let me give you an example: A woman snooped on her hubby's phone and saw my pics, and trust me it was a hot pics on a social media app. y he saved it, I don't know. We have absolutely nothing, although he called me a couple of times a long time ago. she snooped, saw my number, saved it on the app and saw the pics....she asked so many q's but he said there was nothing. ..she's been making so much fuss about it 6 months down the line now she's almost insane....and I am not joking...she keeps asking abt me n calling me endlessly but I've had to block her....she has causedadness for herself just by snooping...Stop snooping my people, you will live longer
Delete. .....
I didn't double check the grammar, excuse the gbagauns. ..
DeleteMadam stella as for me o its good for a woman to snoop. This will help her keep hubby in check trust me. I once shared my story on this blog on how hubby bangs anything that has hole. If no b say I snoop na so hubby for dey bang my cousin when dey come spend some nights for my place. What ever u may finds sometimes hurts but trust me with time u will develop thick skin. But involving his friend was totally wrong. Na so hubby very good friend they dash my hubby viagra o, penis spray o and all sought of sex enhancing things. If I had not snooped I for be like one mumu. So keep snooping trust me u will become stronger.
DeletePORTHARCOURT HOUSEWIFE
@Annon 3:47, u wise like kilode! A million gbozaaaaz for u
Delete@Nmasinachi, story for d gods! Get a huge grip jare
Well if u can't handle the heat get outta the kitchen. As for me i must snoop because i cannot be caught unawares. But why do you snoop and let your husband know. There are smarter ways to go about it.
DeleteSorry poster
ReplyDeleteSending messages to his friend was bad tho' you must hve sent them out of anger.
Now he'll start forming 'you ve insulted my best friend'.
I pray God to grant you the wisdom to handle the issue.
Chai!.Na man go fuck up, na woman go apologise. I wont be surprised if d hubby forces her 2 apologise 2 d bastard friend. She did wrong by texting d hubby's friend. D best thing 4 d idiot wld hv been silent treatment. Dont greet him when he comes around, dont even give him satchet water & show him in every way possible dat u dont like him or his presence in ur home. To think dat u must hv been serving dat stupid friend of ur hubby nice meals when he comes around then he pays u back by arranging sluts 4 ur man. As 4 hubby, na ur husband so u shld know how 2 win him back.
DeleteMe I go snoop o,wetin sef.prevention dey say is better than cure.
DeleteHahaha.... lol@ dont even give him satchet water.....looool
DeleteI'm def not going to snoop on my husband's phone when I get married by God's grace. I will trust in God. Sometimes/most times ignorance is bliss.
ReplyDeleteMe i thought something was wrong with me... i snooped on phone bills...got a number accross the atlantic and called...bingooooo another woman who wanted to beleive the lies of a married man.... i told the girl to forget this one say na lies ....i apologised on his behalf for the lies but assured her i wasnt going anywhere. I was kinda nice to her sef. She vex call ny husband who vexed all the way home to fight me...
Deletewell that was years ago... now we are best friends lovers everthing and he loves the Lord truthfully now.
It payed me to snoop then cos i was emotionally drained then and i needed answers so i could decide what next to do
Ohhhhh STELLA!!!!
DeleteStop saying don't snoop!
Aarrrggghhhh!
Snooping has been saving people since time immemorial!
@Poster, my darling come and give me a hug. Don't mind Stella joor, you did nothing wrong ok.
I would do worse sef if I were you. I would have called that your hubby's friend's wife too and reported him to her with evidence too by sending the munched chat to her.
I would have reported him to his parents, other friends, church and anyone who cares to listen.
What nonsense!
He can't be destroying your home and expect to have peace in his.
Mmbanu!
Now is time for your husband to prove his love and loyalty to you. If he truly loves you, he has to cut off completely from that ass hole of a friend.
Allow the both of you to vent first. Since you had a big fight, it's natural you both will be carrying face for some time. Then when you guys eventually make up, you table your conditions to your husband.
You know your husband more than us and I believe you know his mumu button. Press it!
Every woman should know her husband's mumu button!
If I were you, I know what to do and tell my hubby that he will even stop using password on his phone and will try desperately to please me. And of course that his friendship with that guy would be history.
Every woman holds that power over her man. Use it wisely now before things get out of hand.
Some of these our hubbys friends who shine teeth with us are not loyal at all. As a matter of fact, any hubby's friend I don't like, I always point out his faults in a subtle way to hubby, with time he begins to see my point and starts distancing himself from the person. I have over the years "innocently" severed his friendship with those "friends" I'm sure are fake, those who I know are irresponsible, those I know womanizes, smokes or indulges in some form of bad habit or the other.
Don't judge me, I'm just protecting my man and home.
I can't shout.
Poster, continue to be hostile to that his friend. I'm not a pretender and I'm telling you this cos that's what I would do too. Let him not dare come to your home ever again since he has a secret mission to destroy your home.
Pray my dear, pray.
Commit that friend and your hubby to the Lord and watch God put permanent confusion between them. Watch God turn your husband's face from outside to you alone.
So far as your hands are clean, your prayers is a s good as answered, believe me.
All the best darling.
#Teamsnooperwhennecessary
#Teamsnooperasthespiritleads
Not all the time sweetheart...
DeleteGenny babe I love your advice,I'm d poster,I've done all u said,I even called his useless wife,well I've put everything in prayers!may God bless u for ur comment
DeleteTnx @genny baby for saving my fingers frm typing an epistle cos dats jst wat I had in mind,every word u wrote. @poster u don snoop n wetin happen don happen,but whatever happens frm hereon is wat u want ur marriage to be...so babe follow genny's advice. Wish u all d best
DeleteAh! Genny Baby Na ur type dey enter house dey cry for this kind thing. U sure say u get this kind liver wey u dey shout for here so? Lol!
DeleteNa so my friend Titi (not real name) go jus dey flex, dey make mouth say anyday she go find out or see them, she go bring heaven down. Meanwhile all of us for that neighbourhood know wetin her 'titi's' husband dey do. The man Na correct dog.
The day she catch her husband now, Na so titi weak pass dead blokos, come dey cry on top dey go her house. She no fit do them anything. Make una sofry dey make mouth o!
Genny B, so he should cut off from his friend bcos of his wife. Na wao, I bow to u. Wot an advice. Na ur kind dey enter husband house scatter im family, create enmity between him and his immediate family. I dey fear u and I really pity ur husband.
DeleteAnon 5:02 Ibu afo` aturu! What do u mean by so he should cut off from his friend cos of his wife? Who is the friend compared to his wife? I pity your wife cos I know u're a guy, when a man marries a woman, they become one so the friend is the stranger here kapish? Aaarrrrgh you remind me of my stupid, useless, egocentric inlaw who is a pervert as well! I just feel like dashing you one trailer load of slaps anu mpama!
Delete@ Anon 5:02
DeleteAny friend who wants to put asunder what God has joined together deserve to be cut off!
I'm glad you are bowing for me.
That's how it should be.
*tongue out*
If any of my in-laws tries to scatter my home, they'll be cut off too and be kept in an arms length forever! Same goes to any of my relatives or friends.
Don't pity my darling husband. He is the best man in the whole world and I'm the best woman for him.
Save your pity for yourself!
@Poster, my dear, it is well with your marriage. Just handle everything with wisdom and commit it to God. Win your man to your side.
It's good you reacted now, at least your hubby now knows he can't mess with you and get away.
As for that his useless friend, he is now your permanent enemy, don't be deceived if he later comes to form repentance.
As for the babies, so far as you both are medically sound, the babies will come soon ok. Just trust God and try to have sex around your ovulation period.
Meanwhile use this period and bond with your husband.
No weapon fashioned against your home shall prosper, Amen.
Marriage is very sweet but sometimes it can be sour.
These things happen sometimes. We fight with our spouses to make up and become better and stronger.
#Hugs
@Abigirl darling, thanks dear. Glad to know we are of same view in this case.
Glad to have you back. You've been MIA.
#Hugs.
Genny B hope ure ok now? Take care dear. Poster d deed has bn done but u were so wrong sending his frnd d sms. Pls pray and be guided frm now on. Good luck.
Delete@poster if Uve already done all dat Genny typed wat is d story doing here? Re u here 4 ask us 2 applaud u? Lemme ask u, after embarasing d friend n telling d entire world or probably destroyed his marriage like u tot he's doin urs wat next? Will it stop ur hubby frm cheating? Ve u asked ursef Y his friend will b keeping a babe 4 him if he's not d cheatin type? Look woman, people live n treat u just according 2 who n what u tell dem ure. 4 all u knw dat friend just did wat he tot u hubby too can do 4 him. Well hence Uve started snooping get ready 2 fight wit d world. Gudluck.
DeleteMy own is snooping is neither good nor bad.
DeleteUsers discretion advised.
Poster I'm sure they were friends before u married him, hence arranging babes is normal to them but painful to the wives at home. Agreed.
But sorry love, ur hubby ain't a saint here and his friend isn't the bad one trying to indulge him all of a sudden with the exchange of babes between them. I'm sure that if ur hubby's friend's wife were to ransack his fones too, your hubby would be highly culpable as well.
Unfortunately u have no power to discontinue their friendship because he would never listen. So what u should do is manage and maintain ur own lane with ur hubby.
Men and their insatiable desires, only God can turn the heart of kings. A friend of mine said something to me like many years ago.
She said that because she used to be a "bad babe" before she married, that when she used to have multiple partners she was never caught by either of them. So much that when her now hubby who came like a shining armour to "rescue' her like Vivian in pretty woman, she felt undeserving of him because he was just too good.
Then her university friends decided to play devil's advocate by telling her hubby why he shouldn't marry her, that she was this and that. Sha the man married her and they were put to shame. So during marriage, she would snoop on hubby and she caught him several times. That kind catching wey the man no fit deny but begin beg. And he's the churchy type that when they are doing praise worship on Sunday he will roll on the ground and be crying o. So she was handling the infidelity aspect quietly while she became so spirit filled in her marriage like the mother hen who would pray life into hubby and he felt the impact of his spiritual wife. So he never liked to upset her at all. This was her saving grace.
After giving me all the gist she said, I have told my husband that whatever he does outside na him sabi o, as long as he no carry aids or pikin come meet me for house. I was like are u for real? U are mad o, so u will wait to contract disease before u open eye?
She said Mba, what I have learned to do is to put him into God's hands because I cannot control him myself. And that from the past she hasn't known God to fail her. So if by putting her husband into God's hands anything happens to him or her marriage, that she will not face her husband, but would rather challenge God for failing her. Saying that u can't put something in God's hand and find it missing or go wrong.
That so anything wey wan happen, God won't let her down so that was the day she resumed peace at home and it's been working for her.
Bottom line of my epistle is that everyone has a peculiar way of handling their home. Hence I said snooping could be good and bad.
Dear poster, your story sounds like mine the only difference is that, the person involved was my Ex boyfriend.
ReplyDeleteI snooped and kept quiet, till what I snooped began to unfold in reality and trust my ex, he completely denied because to the best of his knowledge I couldn't have known, but when I disclosed everything in detail, he was shocked and confessed to the crime. But trust me I left the relationship because things were just never the same.
So my dear I have learnt that if you are not ready to pay the price of snooping , I repeat do not snoop. Snooping breeds distrust.
In your case you are newly married, and honestly you didn't do anything wrong, because I would have done same, based on anger.
My dear your comment make sense die. For a woman to decide to snoop there would have been signs but Stella s point is if you can't handle the heat don't go into the kitchen. You should have had a game plan and you were already suspicious hence the snooping
DeleteUsing STD as a reason for snooping, is it that you'll leave the marriage when your suspicions are confirmed or use condoms for life? What exactly is the game plan?
Frankly you shouldn't have confronted his friend. Ur hubby isn't a child. He knows what's right and what's wrong or was the friend pestering him in the message and he refused so you stepped in to help?
You've to make up with your husband, you don't sound as though you're planning on leaving the marriage so you know him better. Do what is be the best for the marriage.
Sabongida Sabongidi
DeleteLol
Lol@quicksilver
DeleteStelz
ReplyDeleteSometimes it is necessary to snoop biko
To know what is plaguing you
I become bitter when I am curious o
I forgive easily when I know the situation
Buh when I don't know, there will be too many possibilities running through my mind
So for me, a lil snooping helps me understand d situation, then I can decide what to do from there.
Poster, you should face your husband
If he didn't give his friend the impression that he is a cheat, I am sure the friend won't be arranging babes for him
Deal with your DH's cheating heart
Good luck with that
The general rule is thou shall not snoop but as we all know there are always exceptions to the general rule.
DeleteIf your husband keeps late nights consistently,finds reasons to sleep out, misbehaves and practically pays little or no attention to you & the kids,doesn't touch you amongst other red flags, better snoop cuz you need to sit up and tighten your belt.This is also applicable to our dear husbands because some married women cheat as well.
You shouldn't have sent those messages to his friend, you acted on impulse, face your husband and address issues with him, you can choose to give his friend the silent treatment and he will get the message.
In marriage, you study your partner, know when to blow hot and stand your grounds, know when to blow cold, sometimes you pretend to be weak, know when to sulk and cry ,know when to give the silent treatment. What works for me may not work for you.God will give you the grace and wisdom to sort issues out.it is well and i pray God blesses you with the fruit of the womb.
Still doesn't justify his frnd's ill advice... I don't think its a big deal dat she snooped. Its her husband's phone for Pete's sakes!!! Confidentiality isn't allowed in marriage. Be open to your partner... And oh, I also think u shdnt av messaged his frnd. Lol.
ReplyDelete@ bamidele u are on point, there is nothing like private in marriage, u have to be open in ur marriage, d only thing I don't like u did, was to call his friend, ur hubby would have been d one to tell his friend dat d wife has found out about d msg, and d man would avoid u like a snake. Pls just take it easy.
DeleteBTW. Greetings from Shiloh! Heaven on earth!!!!!!! Glory. 2015 is my year of sudden turn around cos its my year of heaven on earth. Claim it and believe it. Halleluytah. I had fun in Gods presence since Thursday evening, now let me catch up on all I have missed.
ReplyDeleteHmmmm.........really dunno wot 2 say sha. I'll jux wait 4 comments
ReplyDeleteMarriage isn't for everyone.
DeletePls manage. All Airtel
9873356078990844
9431005396204625
9672278381167358
9910871163597075
u shouldn't hv confronted him you shld hv act silently
ReplyDeleteStella y u de sometimes write chronicle "number one" when na only one chronicle dey house?
ReplyDeleteAbeg where is Linda Eze ooo?!?!!
You are fine Madam Linda. Your comment tells it all.
DeleteBig hugs.
@anon2:15 Stella said she likes it like that. LOL N1 like a Bv said d N2 is in spirit hahahahahha
DeleteLol yes o in d spirit
DeletePoster you caused your problem . My fellow women bikonu let's stop snooping in our husbands phone, I wonder what you are looking for there. Mind your bussiness, now see what you have cause. Please poster did your husband mother still alive? Go to her and tell her, if your hubby listens to her mother, again don't forget God, he did his own thing in a miraculous way, you got married this march and your husband have started complaining of baby, like seriously, is he the giver of child, why can't he wait on God to do his will on you. I wonder the type of men some women marry as husband. Biko mine is a gift from God coupled with the family prayer we do everyday. Biko umunwanyi nuru Di,ekpere Di mkpa. (prayer matters in a family). For that your husband friend that is putting asunder, There is God ohhh, what God has join together, let no man, woman, put ASSUNDER.
ReplyDeleteMy dear, Ur English na die!!
DeleteMind her business you say??
DeleteWhat else is her business other than safe guarding her home against wolves??
Well,call it whatever name you like,snooping,peeping,checking..... the truth is this,social media has come to stay and I will not avoid my husband's phone like a plaque because "I don't want to see what will break my heart" who says I am fragile at heart? If you change your password out of anger,you must tell me the new pin in love! Or war!lmao!
Madam,what doesn't kill you,makes you stronger! Now you know where that friend of his stands..no more coming to chop rice in your house..i do not support sending messages or calling people up to abuse them..if you must do this,next time...call!!lol. text messages have ways of haunting you forever! Call him and catch him unawares,then dish it out to him!
You see why it is good to know your spouse better(by studying him and by studying his devices) now you know he might be an Amu nko,you will not carry one hawt house help and keep in the house,travel for weeks and think all is well!! It is time to buckle up!
Well,such friends..I know how to handle them..i go to God in prayer and subtly but surely put asunder!useless man!
See what you will do ehn...talk to your hubby..he is the one that matters..tell him he is still a novice in marriage(march you say?) that you got upset cos you felt his friend should know better and guide him well...you love and cherish him(from the tone of your mail,you do) you don't intend to stand and watch your home disintegrate...Also let him know that you will be willing to leave him if he decides to follow his friend's guidance and tutelage(even if you don't mean that) we need to let them know we can't tolerate cheating!! Until they begin to see how serious we are...you might be taken for granted!
Biko apologise for insulting his friend. you no kill person! Atleast the papalolo(old useless friend) knows where he stands with you...
If you still sense that he is sneaking around...then involve his family(but I wish it won't get to that point,your marriage is too young for 3rd parties)
I wish you the best!
Btw; you will take in..stop the agitation..you can still check out past posts on trying to get pregnant on this blog...you will see testimonies,solutions and how people overcame the challenges of waiting!
And Stella,yes I come to equity with clean hands!! 120percent!
DeleteI don't think you are married,everybody can have opinion even when they haven't worn the shoes to know where it pinches.
DeleteWhich business??
DeleteHer hubby's business is her business. Biko leave that thing
I didn't see where she said her hubby complained oo abi I nur read the post well.
Lemme go back,I dey come.
@ immaculate, I disagree with this 1 ooh, in marriage there is no 3rd party, they have to sort thier issues out , u don't invite ur parents, or in laws into ur situation, .Pls madam, give him time, and try talking sense into him, and his friend, give him a serious attitude anytime u see him.
DeleteI don't think you are married,everybody can have opinion even when they haven't worn the shoes to know where it pinches.
DeleteWe have a very wrong perception about marriage. Mayb bcos most people just marry without understanding Gods idea about marriage. The two shall become one. There is no privacy in marriage. Two people have become one flesh. There shld be notin like privacy, why shldnt I be able to freely look at my husband fone and vice versa not bcos I suspect him but bcos there's notin to hide. It becomes a problem where one party has starting messing up outside. Single ladies, pls marry a God fearing man. A man that genuinly loves God . Such a man even when he is tempted will be like joseph who said that "how can I do this evil against my God". Ur husband will be faithful not bcos of you but bcos of his fear for God. Marriages started havin issues when people decided to leave God out of their choice of partner
DeleteI think with time, women would understand the ills of snooping. ...one of my sis has been married for almost 20years. when her marriage was young, she would snoop and cry her eyes out. ..she would cry so much, nag and nag, but this pushed her hubby away. Today, she's learnt to mind her business, pray endlessly, and their marriage is enviable. ..You'll own widen the gap between you two by snooping which leads to nagging! Learn oooooooo
Delete*plague
Delete*only*
DeleteIphie dearie. Here's is a mighty big hug.
DeleteAnony 3:45. Here is your own hug too.
Please people if your with a clean man, you both should know each others password. Whats to be hidden is he not your lover, your best friend, your baby. Whats to hide.
Women always pray and ask God to give you a David. Shikena.
And also prepare yourself as a Ruth.
Snoop if you can!
DeleteConfront him if you like!
The mistake poster made was cussing out his friend. She should have faced her husband and give the useless friend a cold shoulder whenever she sees him. Then send anonymous SMS to his wife.
Hmmmm
ReplyDeleteJust march? 9mths?
Sha don't apologise to him....
##president, teamsnoop##
Your face is nothing close to sexy. Please change your blog name.
DeleteOld hag!
Ok
ReplyDeleteI don't think snooping is wrong. It gives room for early salvation of a situation. Its the reaction after snooping that is the issue. Some people are more logical than emotional and will handle situations better while more emotional ones might take it overboard.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, you shouldn't have fought your hubby. The fact his friend arranged a babe for him doesn't mean your hubby was interested in her. You should have given him the benefit of doubt and talked about it in a way that will make him have guilty conscience.
It was also wrong sending texts to his friend. Giving him attitude would have been enough. Your hubby would have told him you saw the text and the friend would have understood why you were giving attitude. Now the whole thing has gone out of hand. Apologise to DH for the texts you sent to his friend. Hopefully the conversation would lead to DH apologising or making up.
Hope i never type Genny baby, iphie dearie, TGW or qutie's epistle? *shines teeth*
Btw? Where is qutie?
@honeybun: I agree with you biko,is better u no and plan ur next move dan be doing my DH dis my DH that whereas d stupid horseband has been stabbing u @d back......don't be surprised, d cause of the problem might be from him oooh......d only bad thing u did is d text u snt 2 his evil friend.
DeleteHoneybun, e hugs aplenty plenty!!!!
DeleteSnooping is actually wrong..if u must keep SHUT! Let you actions speak better and louder not words..if u must talk address it with maturity, indirectly and when he is in a relaxed mood.. don't crash your marriage with you own hand, like Stella rightly put it 'he who comes with equity must come with clean hands' are your chats 100percent pure? Did your DH accept the proposal?
ReplyDeleteYes dont crash your marriage with your hand, wait till your husband brings home a baby or kills you with a disease or even wait till some desperate girl tries to harm you or even better wait until he leaves you!
DeleteAnd what will snooping lead to when the man will still deny that it wasn't him? After snooping,it doesn't cause anything but more heartbreak and addiction to keep snooping. I don't need high blood pressure abeg. I no be my husband mama. @Moi Moi.
ReplyDeleteWomen go thru a lot though. I know pple wld come here and say she. Shldnt be snooping or texting the friend, but why in the first place did d man agree? What kind of a friend tries to scatter his friend's marriage by introducing girls? Whatever happened to respecting your friend's marriage? And even if she didn't insult you, why do u think you do not deserve to be poisoned one day when you visit their home? Lol. One thing I've come to deduce from all of these is that men wld never accept their wrongs. If u like catch their prick inside pussy they will still tell you it is not pussy. I'm sick and tired of irresponsible partners who use their "powers" to torment weak partners. Damn!!! Yall need to grow up and make that woman happy. Give her rest of mind, and she wdnt even have to snoop or insult your "so-called" friend.
ReplyDeleteYou are so sensible. Thanks for this comment , some women needs to be schooled
Deletesnoop and u get divorced...simple!!!
ReplyDelete#teamDec14
Snooping iz bad but d urge to snoop can be so strong ehn
ReplyDeleteMe i wont lie sef sometimes I used to check boifys messages oo but anytime I see what I don't like I don't tell it to him straight like that...I playfully chip them in and he gets to reassure me on how he's been a good man and won't hurt me deliberately... Just saying the way we handle situations goes a long way in determining the outcome... The messages BV sent out to his friend is so so wrong there are better ways ooo...That one no follow...they are men and not boys you don't expect them to change by scolding them that way..
ReplyDeleteMe i wont lie sef sometimes I used to check boifys messages oo but anytime I see what I don't like I don't tell it to him straight like that...I playfully chip them in and he gets to reassure me on how he's been a good man and won't hurt me deliberately... Just saying the way we handle situations goes a long way in determining the outcome... The messages BV sent out to his friend is so so wrong there are better ways ooo...That one no follow...they are men and not boys you don't expect them to change by scolding them that way..
ReplyDeleteThat ur hubby is just so immature my dear, as far as I'm concerned, u did nothing wrong. Even tho snooping is wrong but its necessary at times
ReplyDeletei don't believe snooping is wrong, both of you has to be transparent with everything including the phones, why did he get married if he still wanna misbehave?
ReplyDeleteMa dear o!!
DeleteI hate been deceived o.
I must snoop!
N yes my hands are 100% clean.
If I married you that means you know me TOTALLY. It means we are best friends. It means we are "ONE"!
Hian I must snoop o.
I cant date a dude who uses password on his fone o.
They can lie for Africa!
Don't mind Stella, she is always saying equity equity, abi your hands no clean ni Stella? Jus asking oh, hmmm!
DeleteI wonder
DeleteIs this about me? Jigzox
ReplyDeleteHmm! Why did u snoop on his messages naw? Some men hate that ooo... Although me na #Teamsnoop... Lol!
ReplyDeletehmmm someone will say what you dont know hurt you. apologize to DH and try to pacify him. please stop snooping and let God guide you.
ReplyDeleteExcuse me, she should apologize for what exactly? Just clarifying
DeleteApologise? Na wa ooo.
DeleteMtcheeeeeeeeeeeeeeew..!!
DeleteCynthia, ur comments ehn!
DeleteApologize for what abeg? Your comments sef makes me wonder. I pray you won't end up a slave in your marriage. Because he's a man so he has the right to do and undo? Or what are you saying? What exactly should she apologize for? And please enough with snooping is wrong. In fact there's nothing called snooping the only thing I know is taking my husband's phone whenever I want too and reading whatever I want to read. There's nothing like privacy in marriage.
Deletestella please please, u always say no snooping...its wrong. u need to know if ure at risk in the marriage abeg. Marriage isnt a do or die thing. Many innocent women have died of HIV contracted from their hubbys cos they weren't vigilant. @poster, why text the friend?
ReplyDeleteI snoop a whole lot n it has helped me to know my next move.......@poster,u have not done anything n don't be surprised dat very soon ur hubby will definitely heed 2 his friend's suggestion,just be more careful n also put everything in God's hand,at his time u will conceive........ur hubby's friend is a black devil n God will strike him 2 death very soon.
ReplyDeleteAmen to dat
DeleteYes oo!! Je suis D'accord!!Snooping is VERY wrong!!being married no mean say person go open all him business outside for their spouse! Ladies/mentlegen(lol) stop it please,, it's not worth the energy, the most important is that your spouse still considers you good enough to be married to or to be kept at home.. That only should be enough assurance and swag booster!!
ReplyDeleteNow, to the Poster!! Hmmmm, I think you have something to hide too, otherwise your husband's friend arranging babe for your hussy wouldn't freak you out like that!! Honestly, insulting him was uncalled for, it shows insecurity at the highest level! What happened to Girl code? Where you know things your hussy doesn't know you know and yet you play along as if you don't know? That his friend might have been given him babes in the past YET, he got married to you, deal with your insecurities, you mentioned you have been trying to be pregnant, well, let me give you a shocker,, you CAN'T get pregnant if you are not at peace with yourself! Stress is a huge factor, so,, deal with yourself first! You yourself and you is the reason you aren't pregnant yet.. Lol. Btw.... It's been only few months since you got married,, some couples tried for years until they were successful so chill babe! Belle go come, you go born am.. Lol, goodluck in your marriage darl and please,, give Oga phone, laptop, iPad, whatever distance.. Stop SNOOPING!!!
MsNaijachic...are your for you?????!!!! (((Bbmshockedemoticon)))
DeleteShe should be happy he married her and kept her at home? She has something to hide because her husband's friend is arranging chocs for him? Wth???????
No wonder men treat some of us women as trash.....#cantdeal
"Now, to the Poster!! Hmmmm, I think you have something to hide too, otherwise your husband's friend arranging babe for your hussy wouldn't freak you out like that"
DeleteYou lost me after this paragraph..i didn't bother going further!
What is this one saying?
DeleteLow self-esteem at it's peak!
So, that she freaked out and confronted her husband's friend outta anger means she's got something to hide?
That he considers her good enough to be kept at home means she should condone rubbish? What about the downsides of a cheating hubby like Stds, HIV, etc?
Assurance and swag booster indeed.
Agreed, snooping has its disadvantages but I'm trying to see the sense in this advice.
MyOpinion#
Really??
DeleteYou clearly have no self esteem.
DeleteLike seriously
Delete...the most important thing is that your spouse still considers you good enough to be married to or to be kept at home. Is she some furniture to be kept at home??
This ur line shocked me oo babe
Ds ur comment just shows how shallow minded you are
DeleteIphie dearie,I didn't bother reading after that paragraph too...she lost me there
DeleteSeriously u need 2 hv ur head checked.U talk off point.She did nothing wrong.Snooping has been helping naija women since 1800.
DeleteHaba!!!! I juxx wasted space by replying u.
MsNaijachick, clearly you're not married!!....which one is "still consider you good enough to be married"...??
DeleteImagine the very silly/senseless/useless input.
Delete*I must to comment by force*
Huh??? Seriously??? There is problem!
DeleteJezzzzz!!!
DeleteI can't deal
Nne
Are you married
I can't believe what I just read!
Wow
Oriegwu
I wasted space by replying
But I had to
Na wa o! People dey.
DeleteSwerry, change ur mentality and boost your self esteem for your own good.
Hian!
I actually think msnaija chick is a mistress to a married man... i dont understand how any woman can think she is worthless and lucky a man put her in the house like a piece of furniture
DeleteYou are a shediot msnaijachick!
DeleteYou are a mistress and side chick that is why you are vomiting such rubbish from your maggot infested mouth!
Like seriously? You are the reason men don't respect their wives because of desperadoes like you who are ever ready to bed a married man! And SDK, I come to equity with clean hands!
Msnaijachick! Are you for real????? He considers her worth keeping or what did you type? Girl code in marriage ke? So you think she's just like you who is still looking for somewhere to settle or what? She didn't even over react,9months of marriage and 1 man is already planning to destroy her home and you are saying she's insecure. I don't blame her oo. Just because he married her doesn't give him the right to treat her like trash. She should be respected. And Msnaijachick you are the insecure one,deal with your insecurities,low self esteem and this shallow way of thinking. Gbam!
DeleteLol..sometimes u can't help but snoop. Hahahahahaa...y wud my man password his phone? SMH.I used to PW mine cos I had something to hide..until I was stopped cos it made him distrust me..if he doesn't PW his,why shud I PW mine? Poster u snoop with care..its tempting..takes d Grace of God not to.
ReplyDeleteThank u my dear. U password ur fone when u have smtin to hide. The day my formal bf started passwordin is fone was the day he startin having an affair. He was soo against us passwordin our fones so d day he started I knew smtin was up and oh boy I wasnt wrong
DeleteWhat about the informal one, did he ever password his phones? #justcurious... #straightface...
DeleteTo snoop is absolutely right .
ReplyDeleteIt has solved so many problems in my marriage and has really brought my hubby to real sanity a time he was derailing.
My sister,if I didn't snoop to find out wat was going on I wdnt be in my marriage by now.
But be diplomatic if u find anything unpleasant while u snooping .Dats d key to surviving in most marriages.
Am team snoop all d way.
First of all, why do you think its ur Dh's friend who came up with the idea of arranging babe? What if ur DH had requested for thaat verbally? Dont forget, birds of the same feather flock together! They carry babes together, no be today. So do not deceive urself by putting all the blame on his friend. Ur DH isnt a baby that can be so easily influenced.
ReplyDeleteI know they say husband and wife become one once they are married buh please let us learn to respect peoples privacy jor (including our husbands)!!! Poster now that you have snooped what have you achieved??? u just compounded your problem esp. with calling and insulting his friend (who does dat???). A wise man said there is bliss in ignorance(in some matters sha, like this one) . What u don"t know WONT KILL YOU. Besides, if you start snooping this early in your marriage, how long would u continue???? Mind your business jor and avoid hypertension.
ReplyDelete@phbabe, she has achieved so much, to know her horseband next plan, to kbow d kind of useless friend he has, my sis there is no bliss in ignorance in dis world again, do u know how many men dat have given their wives AIDS, and all kind of diseases, and why would ur hubby change his password if he does not have anything to hide, madam poster grow up, I understand what u are going thru, most married women pass tru the same thing or similar to your problem, just start bearing in dat ur small heart that it is one of d phase of marriage u have to go tru as a woman, don't worry ur head na love dey shark u. I jus ignore ur husband for now.
DeleteSnopp snopp snopp , trobles dat follows I try nt to so I wnt giv maself heart attack.lemme stil read comments b4 givg mine
ReplyDeleteAll I'm gonna say is, if your husband respects you in the first place, his friend wldnt even bring up such topic cos he wd know he's friend wldnt cheat. What does it take for men to be disciplined? If ur wife cheats wld you be happy? I don't see how a man wld not fire his wife's friend if she introduces her to a man. In short he shall "banish" such friend from their home. Lol. Men just take their wives for granted. Talk about insulting your friend. Is she supposed to praise him, abi hand him a medal? Biko take a seat. If your daughter is treated this way would you be happy? This men sef! I just tire.
ReplyDeleteBiko chop kiss!
DeleteI wonder o! Is she supposed to praise his friend? Or act like nothing happened? If I hear!!
Stella leave that thing you are saying biko!
Well said...I am always of d opinion of "put yourself in d others' shoe" n let see d reaction. Left, right n centre you see men who have no respect 4 their wives/partners not to talk of themselves. U did well madam cos if na u get that kind friend, d man will banish her from your house n life like a plague. At least this will serve as a warning to that friend n every other friend out there...Irresponsible biggots
DeleteU hit the nail on the very head. Very well said. My exact take on the matter. Abeg chop knuckle. Bestest comment
DeleteThank you plz where d I send ur kisses to? Is she supposed to praise d friend?I hate pretence,If I was in her shoes I would hve done d same.dear poster it is well
DeleteI don't see anything wrong in checking DH messages and poster I would have done same if I were in your shoes only that I may not have sent text messages to his friend but would have given him a bad body language that he`ll know his friendship with my hubby is no more required. Please let your husband realize his friend wants to ruin his marriage cos could he forward your messages to him.He's such a useless and wicked man.
ReplyDeleteBefore you snoop, always be prepared for the worst and be prepared to be quiet after snooping cos it is soooo wrong to snoop. Dear poster, you snooped and opened your childish mouth even to the extent of insulting his friend. What did u gain? He changed his password and u both are
ReplyDeleteGreetings from SHILO! Just as papa prophesied I degree to this family!
ReplyDeleteThe last miscarriage you saw is the last you will ever see again
For all the singles,just as the bible said that it is not good for a man to be alone,may your spouses begin to locate you ijn and I pray that by june 2015 we will celebrate marriages on this blog IJN,and as for many having health challenges,he said by his stripes you are heal so sickness is not permitted in your body...recieve your devine healing IJN
For those hunting for job,our God is not a robber as far as you are faithful in your tithes,recieve your miracle jobs IJN
And @stella I pray for you,just as your blog is an helpline to lifes may help always locate you and your family even before you ask for it!God bless sdkers. Love ya all
Well,you shouldn't have snooped cos its as if you have trust ish.....well me I didn't really snoop,was just watching a movie wit my friends cousin' fone And wanted to add her on bbm and I saw a chat btw her and my uncle,was curious and decided to read and lo and behold this gal was having an affair with my uncle who is married wit kids...I was shooked,well I kept it to myself o.don't want wahala
ReplyDeleteNot married yet,make I dey read comments
ReplyDelete...both are unhappy now. You gained nothing. U would have just played the fool and keeping reading their conversation till when his cup is full. 9months of marriage is too early for all these wahala. Mind you, I snoop and don't talk . How many I go talk sef?
ReplyDeleteMadam first of all birds of the same feather flock together so your husband is not better than his friend. Now that you have snooped deal with it.
ReplyDeletePlease please there is nothing like snooping.
ReplyDeleteThe bible says and the two shall become one
I dont understand why a wife cant pick up her husband's fone at any point in time
Smh at marriages nowadays
No wonder the rate of divorce is high
Madam u did nothing wrong
Its normal for a wife to go through her husband's fone
The only bad thing u did was texting the frnd.
My boo gave me the password to his fone the first day we met
I go through his fone in his presence
Inshort we av dsame password
Show me ur frnd and I will tell u who u are
Your husband should change his clique of frnds
When men are too busy
pursuing their dreams and making their wives happy,
They wont have time to be thinking of rubbish
Women be careful the type of men you marry.
Heaven on Earth shall be our experience this period
Bishop Oyedepo really prayed against boko haram this morning
There end is near in Jesus name.#PeaceinNigeria
@Genny baby how is your health.You are healed in Jesus name.Amen
Thank u so much for this comment. My husband is too busy working towards getin to d next level in his place of work. Where is even d time to be messing up. Ur husband must be very jobless and irresponsible.
DeleteAwww
DeleteThanks Co Co darling.
I'm much better now.
I love your input on this post.
#Kisses
@annoy 6.o4pm. Na wa for you oo. So your hussy is busy in his of work to cheat chei. Abi na machine and inanimate things him de work with or does it take 1 full day to cheat. For all you know your hussy may be getting head and sex in his busy office from a colleague or secretary, so don't be too judgmental. Abi your husband busy pass Govnors and presidents that cheat left n right and center. Abeg advice her well without robbing your husband busybody for her face.
DeleteMy dear, run fast to that man, apologize to him on ur kneels. Tell him u respect him so much. Its anger that sent that text and not u. If possible buy him a gift. Be very serious and even feigh cry while wit him. Reconcil wit that man fast. Most men would never leave their freinds becos of their wife. U need that man in future. As per your hubby. He is a cheat. Deal wit it. Birds of the same feather flock together. Please do everything possible to be happy. Children come into happy homes. Report them to God. Trying to conceive is a difficult task on its own. Don't add stress, anger and malice to it. What makes u think the side chick or other woman will concieve for him?. Are they God? RELAX .visit a gyne. Make sure everything is okey with u healthwise. Take drugs if need be.I declear over your life today. May God of heaven visit u his month IJN. May u celebrate next December with your twins
ReplyDeleteBlood of God!!!
DeleteTaaaaa! Ne kwe nu advice o!!! Jehovah! If I hear?
DeleteMind her business you say??
ReplyDeleteWhat else is her business other than safe guarding her home against wolves??
Well,call it whatever name you like,snooping,peeping,checking..... the truth is this,social media has come to stay and I will not avoid my husband's phone like a plaque because "I don't want to see what will break my heart" who says I am fragile at heart? If you change your password out of anger,you must tell me the new pin in love! Or war!lmao!
Madam,what doesn't kill you,makes you stronger! Now you know where that friend of his stands..no more coming to chop rice in your house..i do not support sending messages or calling people up to abuse them..if you must do this,next time...call!!lol. text messages have ways of haunting you forever! Call him and catch him unawares,then dish it out to him!
You see why it is good to know your spouse better(by studying him and by studying his devices) now you know he might be an Amu nko,you will not carry one hawt house help and keep in the house,travel for weeks and think all is well!! It is time to buckle up!
Well,such friends..I know how to handle them..i go to God in prayer and subtly but surely put asunder!useless man!
See what you will do ehn...talk to your hubby..he is the one that matters..tell him he is still a novice in marriage(march you say?) that you got upset cos you felt his friend should know better and guide him well...you love and cherish him(from the tone of your mail,you do) you don't intend to stand and watch your home disintegrate...Also let him know that you will be willing to leave him if he decides to follow his friend's guidance and tutelage(even if you don't mean that) we need to let them know we can't tolerate cheating!! Until they begin to see how serious we are...you might be taken for granted!
Biko apologise for insulting his friend. you no kill person! Atleast the papalolo(old useless friend) knows where he stands with you...
If you still sense that he is sneaking around...then involve his family(but I wish it won't get to that point,your marriage is too young for 3rd parties)
I wish you the best!
Btw; you will take in..stop the agitation..you can still check out past posts on trying to get pregnant on this blog...you will see testimonies,solutions and how people overcame the challenges of waiting!
@iphie dearie;i ve been sending birthday messages to you since two days ago but each time i send and comments are posted,i just dont see them due to service issues as stated by stella earlier on..
DeleteHere is wishing you a happy birthday and more happy years with you and DH..
As much as i ve analysed soo far;u are just a good woman who has a very good heart and cos of that i just wanted to tell you that i love you and your "sensible" comments with all of my soul..
Wishing you LLNP and the best life has to offer..E-HUGS!!
Network bikokwa ooo just deliver!!
PLS CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD MY LATEST MIXTAPE
@MARTINS ABOY
Aboy nwoke oma!!
DeleteChoi!!
Iga adi nna!
Thank you thank you!!
God bless you with a good wife dear!
Highly supported Iphie. Your head is there!
DeleteI am a very curious person, I ve my husband's fb, email and phone password, he also has mine..do I snoop? Yes!!! Once in a while. I believe it's better knowing than not knowing
ReplyDeleteThose of u making it seem like it's a man's world and they can do anything and get away with it. Una try oh. Poster snooping isn't wrong. What's wrong is how u handle what u've discovered. I guess u were so upset and dts totally understandable. Please I want to encourage to always pray for ur hubby and ur marriage. Apologize to hubby for insulting his friend.. Explain to him why u did it and how betrayed u felt.... He shudnt bully u into apologizing for snooping. Men are very wicked tho. Smh. Just keep ur cool and tell God to take control. Please still do d things u wud normally do for him around d house. Cook,clean, call,etc..let ur actions make his conscience prick him. When u guys are good, bring up the issue of the new PW and how it makes u feel like an outsider in ur home. Remind him dt both of u are supposed to be one. Marriages of today is a far cry from what God intended it to be. God is ur strength.
ReplyDeleteTo all the lovely ladies that are married to nigerian men, please believe that 97% of them are liars and cheats. They don't believe in monogamy.The 3% are hard to find, its like playing the lottery. The sooner you accept it and focus on your kids, the better your life gets. He shocked you by changing his password? Lol. If you snoop, you will find something. Good luck to all women who choose themselves first
ReplyDeleteNa lie. Marry a man that genuinly fears and loves the lord and u will have peace of mind. Marry ur God ordained husband
DeleteSnooping help u to know if your marriage is in trouble, so that u can have the necessary shock absorber. Poster u made a mistake texting your husband's friend. U should have pray MFM prayer for him that anybody that want to scatter your marriage God fire should roast him. Or better still frame him up that he is giving u eyes, your husband will distance himself.
ReplyDeleteOh pulease, snooping isn't wrong,a woman's Instincts is usually right,if your spirit tells you to check up stuffs pls check up stuffs,u will likely help stop before the deed is done. Some men need to be helped,afterall we are helpers. He may need one to talk sense into him.and if it means confronting his foolish friend so be it. You are my husband,I will protect you..even if I come out as a bad wife to the so called friend. Onye zoba ife ya,akpoba ya onya ara.
ReplyDeleteI don't think snoopying is bad....that was how one guy from uk was chyking me, telling me wen he comes back he'll com and see ma pple.....blah blah blah... Trust ma secret service skills..... I did ma research and found out the guy has a lady he's engaged to over there..... I just dey wait for am make em come back this xmas!!!!! I go collect ma Hermes bag he bought for me....and then tell him that I know about his fiancee
ReplyDeleteDear poster, find peace in ur heart and wisdom like that of solomon lyk Stella said that's the best way to deal with men of these days o. Bt for now suck up your pride apologise to DH and bring him home so he would nt av an excuse for going on with the plan of kpansing the babe, play the fool for now then deal with him later. *winks*
ReplyDeletewhere is mamie??
ReplyDeleteYou are permitted to snoop if only you are in control of your blood pressure.Hypertension is real
ReplyDeleteJust March and u guys are already giving up? Nne there is more to this ur story o.
ReplyDeleteI'm #teamSnooping any day, any time.
ReplyDeleteDivorce your husband. Bloody chronic cheat.
divorce ur husband u say? ...and after she have divorced him and later on in life hooked up or marry someone else, and since u like snooping u kept at it and found out dat his female coleague is pregnant for him n asking for money to remove it...shea u will divorce him again and move to d next one...then by dec 31st we will give an award for divorcee of the yr! mtscheew!
DeleteNow listen, u were wrong to text d friend, wen u saw d msg u wud have pretended n play along til u catch hubby redhanded cos now he has changed password nd u cNt know anything again, ur hubby might b worse dan his friend sef, u nvr can tell if he was d one who asked his friend to find babe for him. Finally, ur husband shd also do test to check if he is not part of d reason u are not pregnant.. The deed has been done, just try n b happy cos u cNt get pregnant with all this matter for ur hrt
ReplyDeleteThere ar two sides to snoopin,u mst av a strong hrt so wateva u cme across wont get to u(odeshi hrt) ,or it gets to u bt u av d tendecies totreatin d ish in d most mature way eva(whch is very rare)cos sme women wen dey odeshi issues dey ar killin dem selves softly inside(bp tinz)while d once dat voice out can't hold their cool @ point esp wen hubby begins to deny or start bringin up oda issues neglectin d one @ hand,mayb dats wen he will start rememberin u of d tin u did so so time,therefore casala go burst...lol,so wat i'm sayin in essence is that its beta nt to snoop.those pple sayin team snoop bla bla bla,after snoopin,after d verbal,physical nd emotional abuse,u broke d sky ,brim thunder nd fire wat happened @ d long run u stil callin ur hubby pet names,doin d same chores,infact u tend to love him more dan b4 bcos u feel u shld shw him more love nd so, so ur allowee or children nids ar takin care of nd no one cmes in nd drag their position in d hous etc,so brethen lets b wise it totally uncalled for.respect hs fone as d olori ebi of d hous.
ReplyDeletePls am team snoop haba forget tat tyn Stella my hubby is suppose to be my best friend so y cnt I chk his phone No privacy in marriage joor if u wnt privacy remain a virgin my hubby cnt dare to PW his phone sef for wat na #naso we go do no snoopin them cum collect ur hubby#
ReplyDeleteAt a time i thought i sent the narrative., i still have not come to the fact that snooping is really bad as our madam portray it to be., it only become bad wen we dont control our reaction. I snooped on my fiancee abi boyfriend's fone (as he say he don dey re-define our relationship) early dis week, trust me wot i saw weaken me and drove me crazy. I find tears, i no see. Na so i vex oo carry my hand copy dis madam number call her., (biggest mistake of the year) and she admit my boyfriend was taking good care of her but they aint dating., (i told her am his sister). I let hell loose on oga boss., he still didnt see anything wrong in the text. Na so madam call my boyfriend o dey tell am say his sister called her., bla bla bla. Na so guy man turn face, i have never seen him dat angry., nd up till dis moment our relationship has gone sour. Snooping is okay if you have a large heart to handle whatever your curiousity lead you to finding out, if not, i take God beg all of una, leave oga's fone alone oo. I learnt and am still learning in a bitter way. N/B madam poster, abeg go beg, beg, beg nd beg ur hubby. I pray he listen, your children will surround ur table soonest. Enjoy your marriage.
ReplyDeleteMy dear tat guy neva loved u forget him even if u get married u dnt hv a say in tat marriage
DeleteWhere are all the known babes here abi we don switch turns lol. Generals wife,iphy, chizoba nwa Onitsha n co. Abeg I need you girls presence cos you make here interesting.
ReplyDeleteWhere are all the known babes here abi we don switch turns lol. Generals wife,iphy, chizoba nwa Onitsha n co. Abeg I need you girls presence cos you make here interesting.
ReplyDeleteWhat privacy? Family issues? Yall became family d day u both said "I do". Its only pple who have skeletons that believe it's necessary to use passwords. Men ehn, flipping cheating asses. Still they will come and turn the whole issue on your head. Whether she insulted the friend who got what he deserved, is not the problem here. The problem is did ur friend hook u up, did you cheat? Why don't u fear God and stop using your friend to cover up ur weaknesses. The friend probably knows ur weak point (which is common to every man), giving u babe's, but if he wants you to have a happy home he wldnt try to give u babe. If it was the woman that her female friend hooked her up, will u abuse the friend or not??? Talk about double standards. Stella in marriage is it not supposed to be 100 percent loyalty before, why are u asking as if it's something impossible for the snooping wife to be loyal. Abeg snoop o, and save yourself from diseases. All these men going to fuck side chick's and bringing d same dick home. That's how they will destroy someone's life and you will be there saying I don't want to check so that I wdnt have a heart break. Mbok heart break and HIV which one is better.
ReplyDeleteI don't agree with you about sending messages to his friend but snooping is not wrong. Its better to know what the other person is doing if you have any suspicions than to be leaving in denial. Now the situation is as it is, your marriage is still in its early stages. Instead of arguing with your husband over the issue,accept that he's done wrong but be more romantic than you've ever been to him. Show him more love and affection in this process the baby might just come in, who knows. Hopefully this will make him rethink buh however if you have an opportunity again snoop just to be sure of whats going on and to know if u are with an unrepentant cheat so u plan your life well.
ReplyDeleteSnooping is bad,bad,bad..methinks it is an invasion of privacy..what you don't know can never hurt you.why worry and turn ur hair to gray when you can't change a thing?men will always be men..as long as he is living up to his responsibilities,oh well!*in madea's voice*don't you go snooping now child,don't you go snooping..this is my farthing,I don't expect it to sit well with anyone..a usual attack is expected.have a nice weekend everyone..one love.
ReplyDeleteMadam Stella! So she should not snoop, she should wait till she catches HIV abi??? When it comes to infidelity, what you don't know will most definitely KILL YOU. Going through her husband's phone is not snooping-TWO HAS BECOME ONE BEFORE GOD.
ReplyDeleteAll I can say is-if you can't handle the aftermath of snooping , don't do it. What works for some other person may not necessarily work for you
ReplyDeleteAbeg snooping is not for the faint hearted, so before you take the plunge consider that... Poster your case is with your husband pls leave his friend out of it, he is an adult and gets to make his choices
ReplyDeleteWhere are all the known babes here abi we don switch turns lol. Generals wife,iphy, chizoba nwa Onitsha n co. Abeg I need you girls presence cos you make here interesting.
ReplyDeleteI am proudly Team Snooping. Snooping in itself is not the issue. What you do with the information you discover after snooping is the real kook of the matter.
ReplyDeleteSnooping can help you salvage a situation before it becomes completely broken.
To all Snoopers. Comport yourself well after you snoop and discover whatever it is you discover. Pray about it and wait for some days before you react. You would have had time to think things through thoroughly. Weigh all your options. Be very calculated in your reaction or non reaction whichever one works best for your situation. Don't just snoop for snooping sake.
Madam u jst gave yasef headache fr nofin..... Will dia b trust in ur huse agin? NO!!! Jst quit doin it n pray ur safe wif ur kids
ReplyDeleteStelladoll I sent u a mail plz check it...
~@iamjbankz SA to President Jonathan 2015~
I thought husband and wife ar supposed to be one so i dnt think going through each others phone is a bad thing.
ReplyDeleteIf we were in the 60s, when there was no HIV/Aids, I would have suggested no snooping. The only reason I snoop is for my safety. I want to live long to take care of my children. However, if you cannot face the consequences that may arise from your snooping, do not snoop.
ReplyDeleteYou did wrong by confronting his friend. Such people need to be dealt with silently.
As for your husband, the marriage is too early for him to be looking for a woman outside. Honestly, I don't know what to advise. I pray that God restores the joy of your marriage.
Rose
Team snooping or teamnosnooping?
ReplyDeleteI belong to Team Snooping.
To be forewarned is to be forearmed.
No not because there is no trust. I trust my own, but lemee keep inspecting whether any 'bishh' is on the prowl.
so here we go..hubby in the bathroom,
me: hey baby what u doing?
hubby: bathing
me: ok (hub's phone in hand, under the pillow..checking msgs, pics and all)hehehhee
you wan me to come help you scrub your back? still checking..
hubby: naaa...am fine.
before he comes out, done.
................
poster you did no wrong snooping.
you did no wrong calling out that pretender of a friend. fucker!
on the whole, I blame your husband. he has no mind of his own and doesn't love you enough otherwise he wouldn't give in to such stupid ideas from the so called friend of his. home breaker of a friend.
namsense!
That's the way...uh uh uh uh...I like it!
DeleteLmao.
DeleteSharp babe!
Bisshes aint smiling these days o!! So u gotta snoop to take cover!
Lol
DeleteHehehehehe
DeleteBad Ass babe...lol
Me? I am the "Rightful Owner of The General's Phone"
I have all his passwords to every every and he in turn is d keeper of ma passwords.
I always seem to forget my email,Skype and Google acc passwords...Infact all ma passwords...
The only passwords I NEVER forget is the General's....Hahahahaha
He has always wondered why I know his passwords buh suck big time at remembering mine....LMAO.
Me,I have also wondered why he has never forgotten any of ma passwords.....Hahahahaha
He says cos he is a Genius! LMAO
THe General! The General!
@ Poster,sorry about ur dog of ur hubby.
u did wrong by Sending d insulting texts to his friend buh I clearly understand u were angry n was pushed.
Buh I am more concerned and dis is cos I feel ur hubby has no respect for u boo...
PLS lets look into that aspect,ok?
As for his partner in crime,go on ur knees n severe dt friendship.
Continue praying for ur hubby too,ok?
Remember,this too shall pass.*hugs*
Kedu ife ona akodi? Snooping is good oooo n also bad, u just have to prep ur mind for d worse if u must snoop. Pple who snoop r doz who don't trust their partners, so be ready. otherwise leave matrer
ReplyDeletesnooping isnt bad,your level of maturity counts.And stella dont forget the same maxims says 'Equity aids the vigilant and not the indolent".
ReplyDeleteI love dat last line.
DeleteI don copy am.
Wala deyooo una no dey hear dnt snope abeg bfor una get hart attack mbok, just try ur best n leav d rest to God he will surprise u and ur bobo and dat ur bobo frnd
ReplyDeleteARE YOU LADIES FOR REAL?
ReplyDeleteIF YOUR HUBBY/PARTNER CATCHES YOU SNEAKING AROUND, HE WILL KICK YOUR BEHIND OUT! YES!!
THE LEAST YOU CAN DO NOW IS TO WARN HIM SEVERELY THAT YOU WILL NOT PUT UP WITH ALL THAT RUBBISH DURING THE COURSE OF YOUR MARRIAGE.
STAND YOUR GROUND. THE ISSUE IS BEYOND SNOOPING NOW. IF HE WONT HAVE IT YOUR WAY, GIVE HIM THE COLD SHOULDER UNTIL HE SUCCUMBS. IF HE WANTS OUT, GLADLY LEAVE. YOU DONT WANT TO JOIN THE LEAGUE OF UNHAPPY WIVES.
YES, I AM SHOUTING COS IM MAD AT SOME OF YOUR COMMENTS. NA SMALL PIKIN DE WORRY UNA. AIDS IS REAL!!
Ehen Stella, this is mrs W, we exchanged mails a few yrs ago. Very silent reader of your blog for a few yrs now. I never comment but some of the comments upset me. I'll probably send my story in soon on how I managed to build a loving, peaceful home. Some women are typical cases of "the people do not know the powers they possess.
WOMEN, THE HOME IS 50% YOURS- IF NOT MORE. WHAT YOU TOLERATE IS WHAT WILL CONTINUE.
Cheers!
Mrs W, please do send in your story.Am very interested. Thank you.
DeleteWhat are these sanctimonous fools talking about? Apologize ko, apologize ni. If na the wife do this thing now, DH will carry cutlass go fight who wan arrange guy for his wife. Poster pls u owe no one any apology. Ur hubby shuld be ashamed of himself. Report him to his family members and don't relent until he apologises to u. Good luck and may God restore ur marriage.
ReplyDeleteabeg abeg.i dey snoop wella but i everything i see i keep to myslf o.before u snoop consider if u can handle the worst case scenario.if not dont snoop
ReplyDeleteAwww. The only mistake you made was texting insults to his friend.
ReplyDeleteI personally see nothing wrong with snooping. It's how you handle things after snooping that really counts. I honestly laugh at those who don't snoop...i'll rather snoop and know my house is on fire than play the ostrich by burying my head in the sand and pretending all is well, only to suddenly meet a burnt down home. And you look stupid to the whole world at the end.
A relationship where trust abound, there would be transparency. Hiding phones from each other would be unnecessary.
My dear, you would have to apologize to your hubby just for peace sake. I don't think you need to apologize to the friend though.
Also, you do not blame outsiders for your issues. Your husband should take responsibility for his actions.
I don't snoop though, but i won't hesitate to do it if i see it's necessary.
Snooping is very necessary biko Buh its for d strong-hearted!I snoop just to knw cos I can't shout!Poster, u shudnt ve confronted ur husband or his friend....U for just calm down,plan ur next move!GENNY's advice makes plenty sense!!!All DSE men sha???d best tin is for a woman to be resourceful ooo,so Dat wen ur man misbehaves,I'll ve sumtin to keep u busy!!!
ReplyDelete...........my 50cents!
Dear poster pls don't forget one important thing (birds of same feather flock together). If he is defending his Frnd then you know the Frnd would the same. And u just got married in March. OPEN YOUR EYES
ReplyDeleteSnooping is an art, you have to master it. There are ways and steps for snooping effectively, be strategic. I'll release my book "STRATEGIC SNOOPING - A PARTNER'S GUIDE TO DOING IT RIGHT" very soon. Be sure to grab a copy.....it'll go a long way
ReplyDelete#teamsnoop
Have you ever head of Dr Adagba the spell caster I AM MISS SUSAN MARK FROM UK. I almost lost my child and my husband about a year ago when we have misunderstanding with each other which leads to the separation of me and my husband and after a month she was engage with another woman and they both travel out of the country down to united state and when I was searching for a help online I came across some fake spell caster which scam some money from me and I lose hope on getting her back untill a friend of my that has receive a help from adagbaspiritualtemple@yahoo.com direct me to him and I never believe on the spell caster anymore because of the other fake spell caster that scam my money from me before but due to what my friend have told me about Adagba spell temple so I just say I should give him a Trier to see if they are all the same so after 24hours of casting the spell I receive a phone call from my ex and was apologizing for his mistakes so i was very happy and it was just like a dream to me and now we are together again living as one big happy family. Thanks to DR Adagba once again.you can Email him now adagbaspiritualtemple@yahoo.com he is a good man and ready to restore your happiness back to you.
ReplyDeleteAnd it was because of this reason that Stella had a robot standing guard over her comment section! #rme
DeleteI have been following this blog for sometime now though I rarely comment. I am even now getting to know some of the regulars and the topics on which they are most passionate..lol. Take Mma cee, for example, she comes out smoking on relationships issues. Very strong, no nonsense (take no prisoners) views!
ReplyDeleteI have been having a good time reading comments on today's topic and I am glad BVs had regained their voices! Friday's topic (the woman who discovered that the good life her family has been living was courtesy of her hussy's sugarmum) could not have been a good one. All the otherwise opinionated commentators could not utter a word! Even my friend Mma cee was stymied for once. She could only advise that the lady regain her husband through spells! (Or how do you call waking up to read Bible passages and pray at a particular hour of the night? I thought only witches and the like did that?) That she has a perfect husband and marriage (as she often tells us) does not mean the rest of us would be so lucky or that our husbands would be so easily cowed or controlled. So lets all remember that what works for one situation might not just work in another.
my dear please I beg you, just stop snooping for now, so you can concentrate on your self and marriage. u still need a lot to learn about marriage, maybe you didn't go for counseling before marriage. u don't deal with men with strong head and learn to hold things in ur mind cuz you are on a life journey and you just starting. I don't snoop on my husband phone not because I don't want to but because I don't want hearthe ache. please go beg ur hubby and stay away from his phone
ReplyDeleteyinka
As much as I don't like snooping, snooping is good. But don't make it a hobby. I snooped ma GF's fone sometimes back and wat I saw was crazy but I took it maturely, didn't make any noise @ d hair dressing saloon, paid her hair charges and later talked about it, she didn't denied it but we reconcile and everything became normal.
ReplyDeleteWho are these BVs that actually trust men? Lol! I trust no one.
ReplyDeleteMadam Poster, don't feel bad for snooping. Knowledge is power. Most men WILL cheat. Its good to snoop and know in time before some bitch carries belle. But never say you know. Just make your moves to block and scatter. Now that you've told, DH will use a password. You're also wrong to insult the friend. He's a fool but that's not your problem or business. Insult no one. Just beg your husband and beg the friend. They will move on and laugh that you really love your man. Shikena. Everyone makes mistakes.